Chapter 1
October 31st, 1981,
I was in a place I didn't know everything was black, but I could see a figure in the distance. The figure came closer to me. The figure was hooded; I couldn't make out who it was.
But then I saw a flash of light coming through the figure. The gate to James and lilys house started to open, then the door to their house opened, and I saw James and lily running up the stairs with harry in her arms
"Avada Kedavra"
I woke up in a panic. I just saw my best friend die. I got my clothes on quickly and put on my zip-up docks. In the process of all of this, I woke up Remus
"What the fuck are you doing this early in the morning," Remus said while getting up
"Moons, go back to sleep."
"Why? You're up."
"Because I need to check something."
"And Sirius, what is that something."
"Something is wrong."
"Sirius, what do you mean something is wrong," Remus said, a lot more worried
"Something happened to James and Lily. I can feel it. I knew something bad was going to happen all day yesterday."
"Why didn't you tell me."
"I didn't want to worry you. You were so happy yesterday you weren't dealing with any bad dysphoria, you weren't worried about the war, and nothing bad happened all day. I didn't want to ruin that for you... I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
"I-i...How do you know something bad happened to James and Lily."
"Because I had a dream about them-...."
"About them what?"
"Dying. I-I had a dream about them dying. It felt so real" a single tear dropped from my face
"Dreams can mean many things, Sirius, even you know that. But a dream about James and lily dying is pretty serious."
Remus started to put on some clothes
"I know that's why I'm going over there right now."
"Well, whether you like it or not, I'm coming."
"Ok. I honestly hope I'm wrong."
"Me too"
Remus and I walked out of our tiny apartment to the potters. It wasn't that far from our apartment, but it was long enough that death eaters wouldn't easily track it.
We got there, and I stopped the bike and got off. I looked at the gate, and my stomach dropped. The gate and door were both opened like in my dream. Remus started getting off the bike, but I stopped him
"Stay here"
"I can help."
"No. I can't let you get hurt."
"Well, what if you get hurt."
"Well, if I don't return in the next ten minutes, you should probably come to find me. I'll send my Patronus if I need you."
"Ok. Good luck."
My heart was pounding in my chest. I was hoping that my dream was just some typical fucked up nightmare. I walked to the door of the house.
And took a step inside, and James' wand was right at my feet as if it had been expelled from his hands, or maybe he hadn't even gotten to it yet. Fuck, my ears were ringing, and panic started to fill in my chest.
I walked further into the house, and I saw James' lifeless body on the floor. I was right something terrible did happen. Tears started to burn my eyes, but I wiped them right away."
A pool of blood was on the floor from James's head, most likely from the force with which he had hit the ground. I felt sick to my stomach
"Prongs! James, Please!" I said frantically. "This isn't a joke!" Nothing. I stood up and pointed my wand at james
"Riddikulus! Riddikulus!"
The spells avoided James's body and hit the ground, sending sparks in the air. I heard crying from upstairs
"Lily... and Harry... Oh god!"
I ran up the stairs, tripping over my feet in a panic. I could hear Harry's cries from upstairs. That was good, at least correct?
"Lily, are you here?! Are you ok?!" I yelled as I opened the door to Harry's room. My questions were quickly answered when I saw Lily; she was in the same state James was, the life drained from her eyes.
I felt myself choking down sobs as I walked toward Harry's cradle. My whole world was crumbling at my fingertips, and I could only watch it happen.
"Shhh..." I hushed. "It's alright, Harry."
I Whispered in as calm of a voice as I could, trying to pull myself together. I had a child to raise now.
There wasn't any time to focus on that, not yet.
"We need to get Moony," I said, holding Harry close to my chest.
I cast my Patronus and sent it to Remus, as he didn't know.
God, Remus doesn't know... What would I tell him?
Oh, fuck, what am I going to do?
Thankfully, Harry cut me off, taking away my focus again from things I couldn't think about right now. After about a few minutes of trying to get Harry to calm down, I heard the door swing open.
"Sirius! James! Oh, my Merlin James!"
I could hear Remus start to sob. I ran down the stairs, holding Harry close.
"Sirius, What the hell happened?!" Remus' voice cracked, kneeling next to James.
"I don't know...
"Lily?"
I shook my head; Remus started to cry even more now I began to cry again, too. It wasn't enjoyable, but I couldn't control it
"Remus... Look." I whispered as I pointed to Harry's forehead.
"The killing curse..." more tears started to form in Remus's eyes
"That bastard tried to kill him,"
"How did he survive?" Remus asked, trying to wipe the tears from his face
"No idea...but at least he did. We need to go."
"Yeah, we do... But I need to say goodbye first."
Remus went upstairs and said goodbye to lily and then went downstairs to say goodbye to James. I gave harry to Remus, and then we headed off to our apartment.
Remus couldn't stop crying, and I didn't blame him. Honestly, I felt horrible and felt like throwing up too
"Hey, you ok over there."
"Yeah yeah, I'm ok. It's just everything is a lot right now," Remus said, sniffling
"I know, and now we have a child to raise together, but we can do it."
"Yeah"
It didn't take that long to get to the apartment. I landed the bike and got off it, then helped Remus off. We walked around the corner to our apartment, Remus holding harry close to his chest
But as we turned the corner, we saw it. Our whole building was in ruins, like someone bombed the place. There were people outside the building and police, fire trucks, and ambulances.
"Remus, wait here."
I ran over to one of the firefighters and asked them what had happened
"I'm sorry to bother you, but what happened here," I asked
"We don't know; something blew up in the building, but there was no cause for it. It's like magic."
"Thank you, sir, for your time."
"No problem" I ran back over to Remus
"What happened"
"We're not safe."
"What-"
"Death eaters, they were going to kill us tonight."
"Oh God- we... We could have died."
"I know. But it's unsafe to be out in the open like this. We need to go somewhere no one will find us."
"And where would that be because that was our fucking safe house."
Think Sirius thinks where would be a good place for us to stay that no one would know except for the order
"Oh fuck no, no, no, we can't go there."
"Go where"
"Shit- get back on the bike. It's not that far from here."
We ride the bike and drive to my old home: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. Just the thought of it gave me shivers. I hadn't been there since I got kicked out by my parents.
It's been seven years since I've been here. Remus doesn't even know this place exists. I've only mentioned it to him once or twice.
Many people don't know it exists, so it's the safest place I could think of. Even Bella wouldn't think of coming here. I parked the bike, and Remus and I started to walk to the apartment buildings
My nerves were getting to me, and the air was closing in on me. I felt Remus's arm on my shoulder, and I looked at him.
"Are you ok?" Remus said
"No, not really...."
"I don't know where you're taking me, but I know it's bothering you."
"Um- where I'm taking you, it, uh, it's my old house."
"Sirius"
"What? It's wonderful."
"No, it's not Sirius. You told me what happened to you. It would help if you weren't coming here. You're going to relive all of those traumas you faced"
"Well, this is the only safe place I know where we won't get killed anyways. We're here."
The apartment buildings started to move, and a small black apartment appeared. I walked towards the gate.
"Are you coming or not"
"I'm coming."
Remus and I walked in together. The place hadn't changed that much since I was kicked out. Walking through the doors of the house made me feel sick.
Remus was too care died away with Harry and the place. We finally got into the main room, and it seemed it hadn't been touched in years.
"Wow, we need to clean up this place," Remus said
"Yeah, we could probably do that tomorrow. Anyways I'm heading up to my room. You can join if you want to in a little bit."
"Ok"
I went up the stairs, and many good and bad memories flashed. I passed by some of the paintings, not realizing it until.
"SIRIUS BLACK, YOU DARE TO COME BACK INTO MY HOUSE AFTER YOU'VE DISGRACED EVERYONE IN THE BLACK FAMILY"
Walburga said
I heard running coming up the stairs
"Sirius, I heard yelling. Is everything alright," Remus said, worried
"OH, MERLIN, AND YOU BROUGHT THAT THING WITH YOU"
" Mother, he's not a thing. He's an actual fucking human being."
"SO WHAT ITS HE NOW? I CAN GO WITH YOU, QUEERS. BACK IN MY DAY, WE WOULD SLATHER YOU"
"WELL, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN SHUT YOUR MOUTH," I said, too tired to even fight.
I walk to my room and flop on the bed. Remus joined me with Harry after a few minutes. He got into bed, and we faced op zit sides of each. I could see him crying a bit. But I couldn't do anything because it just would cause more things.
God
It's hard losing your best friends