Chapter 9
The next professor to come in was Charity Burbage, the Muggle Studies professor. "Professor Burbage, we are moving Muggle Studies to first year and making the class mandatory for all wizard raised children. I say wizard raised because some wizard born children are muggle raised, such as my nephew and son here," Petunia gestured to Harry and Dudley. "I'm told that your class is the wizarding equivalent of social studies, that is the study of the culture and lands of the people in question. What can you tell me of the class."
"Muggle Studies should be taught to every wix child! They must learn to accept and embrace muggles and Muggle Studies is just the way to do that. Muggle Studies covers muggle transportation, dress codes, our relationship with the Queen of England, muggle cities, ect. Quite frankly it shows how the current decline of pure bloods is actually beneficial to the wizarding world as it promotes an equalization of every wizard and witch," Charity said, beaming.
Harry and Neville stared at Professor Burbage, while Petunia actually dropped her head in her hands. "You've got to be kidding me, please tell me you're kidding," she pleaded.
"Oh no," Charity said, confused.
Petunia sighed. "I had hoped that you would be someone who was willing to update and improve the Muggle Studies class, not someone who was willing to tell children that they should all die off so everyone else can get a chance to improve their social standing. I cannot in good conscience allow you to continue teaching at Hogwarts. While you are entitled to your personal views, Hogwarts is dedicated to the education of EVERY magical child, including pure bloods. We want more magical children, not less no matter their status. You have a week to pack up your classroom and chambers. Please leave a report of what you normally cover in class with Nolby before you leave, so that we can see what misconceptions must be corrected to update the class."
"But!" Charity started.
"I don't think that I'd like to take a class where the teacher thinks it would be better if my family all died," Neville said, rather stiffly.
"Miss Burbage," Harry said. "I grew up in the muggle world. I'm also a half-blood. My mother and aunt are muggle-born. There are a lot of good things in the muggle world, but the best in my opinion is the fact that they recognize that bigotry isn't just being against the one group of people that are the most obviously picked on. You are bigoted against children who will be attending school here. It doesn't matter if those children you are bigoted against are pure bloods or muggleborns or anything else, bigotry of any sort will not be tolerated."
With all three of the heirs glaring at her, Charity Burbage left the room. "New Muggle Studies teacher," Harry said as he wrote that down. "Aunt Petunia, do you think that we can get someone from a muggleborn's family to teach? Because having a muggle teach muggle studies makes the most sense to me."
"That's an idea, Harry," Petunia said.
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Madam Pomphrey sat down in front of the desk and said, "I'm not certain why I wasn't interviewed after Hagrid."
"That is because I wish for you to teach a basic healing course," Petunia said. "We will be adding more medi-witches, so you will not be so overworked, but I believe the class would help the children understand when and why it is necessary to get professional help."
"Muggle healers call it first aid," Harry said. "You don't teach things like regrowing a bone, but simple stuff like, how to immobilize a broken bone so that you can get the person to the medi-witch without making things worse." Harry shuddered with the memory of Lockhart vanishing his arm bones.
"Now, as well as more medi-witches, I'm going to be bringing in squib therapists, that is a type of mind healing and it does not rely on magic. It's very effective. They are going to be available to all students, teachers and staff. Bumblebore did a great deal of damage, and there's no telling what the medical staff is going to uncover when you check every student at the beginning of the school year. If you are agreeable, I'd like you to remain in charge of the hospital wing," Petunia said.
Madam Pomphrey nodded. "Would you be willing to arrange for me to learn some of this muggle healing? I'd like to get an idea of what you are looking for in a healing class."
"Of course," Petunia said. "A muggle first aid course can be done in a matter of a few weeks. That should give you an overview of the very basics." This time she was the one who wrote down the note.
"Then I have no problems remaining in charge," Madam Pomphrey said.
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Professor Sinistra, the Astrology Professor, and Professor Babbling, who taught Ancient Runes, were quickly interviewed, and the only proverbial speed bump that they hit was when Professor Sinistra found out about Muggle space history and technology. She demanded a list of astronomy books and declared that she was going to investigate what the muggles knew personally. Petunia agreed wholeheartedly, and the boys did as well. Petunia told her to simply ask for Axestalker at Gringotts with proof that she was a Hogwarts teacher for funds for research. Professor Sinistra would have to provide receipts due to the current reshuffling, but that was due more to Dumbledore's sticky fingers than anyone suspecting that she would steal from the school.
Professor Babbling was one of the, admittedly very few, teachers that had no changes to her class other than getting assistants. Petunia, (having gotten a quick explanation of what runes actually did from Augusta), suggested that she take a muggle introductory course in coding for computers over the summer. The two subjects were of a similar nature and Babbling might find it interesting. Petunia was fairly certain that the professor would at least investigate the option.
That left the last three teachers and heads of houses.
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Professor Sprout was as cheerful as ever, although Harry could see that her eyes were haunted. He'd rather not know what the fewments hauler had done to her. "Hello, Professor Sprout!" he said with a grin. He liked the motherly professor.
"Hello, Lord Slytherin," Pomona said. She had noticed the rings Harry was wearing.
"First things, first, Professor," Neville said. They'd agreed that Neville should do this interview as he knew Professor Sprout the best. "We're splitting all of the core classes in half, with one teacher taking the younger years and one teaching the older years. Which group would you rather teach?"
"Oh, now that's difficult," Pomona said. "I love all of the classes from the First Years right up through the Seventh." She thought a moment. "I'll teach the Fifth through the Seventh, that way I can spend more time with my 'Puffs. I won't give up being a Head of House."
Neville smiled. "I hope that you don't mind if I still ask you questions?"
"Of course not," Pomona beamed. "You're one of the best students I've ever had."
Neville blushed, but continued with the interview. "Would you be willing to take the Deputy position?"
Pomona shook her head fiercely. "NO! Not under any circumstances. That job is a headache and a half and I want to concentrate on my students."
"That's understandable. You'll be getting three teaching assistants for your classes, one for each year. Would you also like an assistant for your Head of House duties?" he asked. Petunia had helped him with his list of questions, but the boy was doing very well with his favorite teacher. She was only disappointed that Professor Sprout wasn't willing to take the Deputy position. They were going to need a new one.
"Would it be possible for me to offer one of the assistant jobs to an apprentice?" she asked. "I've several students that I would like to be able to offer such a position to, but I wasn't allowed to have an apprentice at the school before." The anger that flashed over her face was at once startling, and not surprising at all.
"Would it be possible for you to offer all four to apprentices?" Petunia asked. "I'm not up on the current rules for such a relationship, but muggle professors often have more than one Teaching Assistant who are working towards getting their own teaching degrees. In fact, it's often considered a requirement to getting those degrees."
Pomona blinked in shock, and then obviously began to think about it. Her face frowned in concentration and she sat there for silently for a short time. Then she nodded. "I think that can be done. Perhaps not for Potions, that's far more exacting a craft than my own, but yes, I do think it is possible." She smiled. "I'll do it, if only as an experiment to see if it can be done."
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Professor Flitwick also agreed to take the Fifth through Seventh Years and refused to give up his 'Claws. However, with gaining his assistants he agreed to becoming the new Deputy Headmaster. "I couldn't do what Minerva did, and take on every class, head of house and deputy duties, but with only teaching the upper years and having assistants, the deputy duties are something I think I can manage. I've helped Minerva with them often enough." That he said with a grimace, but no one questioned him on it. The simple fact was that someone had to have been helping Professor McGonagall with both her duties and the ones the unlamented idiot had foisted off on her.
"In that case, could you please meet with Nolby and find out how many chambers we have for adults available, as well as how many empty classrooms? As we're going to massively increase the number of teachers and staff members, I need to see just how much space we've got. Most of the adults will have the option to leave the castle each evening, but we'll need to have a minimum of people on duty during the nights," Petunia said.
Flitwick nodded. "Ah yes, the night patrols. There will be more than a few students who will find us having a full complement there an unpleasant shock. They're too used to getting away with sneaking out after curfew."
Petunia smiled and Harry and Neville chorused, "The Weasley twins!"
Flitwick laughed. "Among others," he replied.
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The last professor to be interviewed was of course, Snape. The Snape who walked into the office however was not the Snape that the boys had last seen. Far paler than usual and trembling all over, Severus Snape practically fell into the chair waiting for him. Before anyone could say anything, Snape spoke up. "Tuney, I must apologize to you. I was a brat during our childhood, and can only say that at the time I knew no better. Once I got to Hogwarts and was Sorted into Slytherin, well Dumbledore put me under a great number of potions and spells so I wasn't entirely responsible for my behavior, including an obsessive love spell tied to Lily. Which absolutely infuriates me as Lily was the sister I never had and my best friend, not a love interest, but you still did not deserve the scorn I heaped on you for not having magic."
Petunia shook her head. "I accept the apology, Sev, but Dumbledore bound my magic, and then he refused me entry into Hogwarts when I begged him to allow me to come with Lily. He knew I had magic, he knew I was a witch, and he still sentenced me to a life of abuse - also due to a love potion to someone I would never have chosen had I been allowed to choose."
"I simply do not have enough curse words to describe how I feel on hearing that," Snape said faintly.
"I like fewmets hauler," Harry piped up. "Mostly because according to Bill and Charley Weasley that's what the Goblins have him doing, by hand. The image of him; standing in a dragon pit wearing a trashman's coveralls, with dung all over him, in his beard, in his hair, spotted all over his glasses and his coveralls, with a shovel in his hand and a dragon leaning down to stare in his face, with the look of 'why isn't my pit clean yet', makes me laugh. Well, that and color blind old goat, but the fewmets hauler is the best, I think." That made everyone laugh as the mental image formed in all of their minds.
When they could all catch their breaths, Petunia spoke. "Well, if it's any consolation we," and she gestured around the room and Snape glanced to see who else was there, "believe that Lily and James were love potioned as well. The color blind ass was trying to consolidate all of the Founders' lines, and apparently I wasn't pretty enough, or perhaps too old, to be of believable interest for James."
"The lines?" Snape asked.
Harry gestured at the other boys and himself. "Griffindor, and Slytherin by Conquest, Neville is Hufflepuff and my godbrother, Aunt Petunia and my cousin Dudley are Ravenclaw."
Snape sighed and pinched his nose. "And Dumbledore was your magical guardian. Arrange for everyone to die in the proper order and he becomes the most powerful man in magical Britain."
Harry nodded. "I had to take an inheritance test at Gringotts right after school let out and that's when we found out a lot of stuff. I'll need to talk to you about some of it, the Slytherin stuff, later."
Snape started, and looked at Harry's hands. He raised his left hand so that Snape could see the Lord Slytherin ring. "Very well, as I'm the last teacher to be interviewed, I will be available to you afterwards. Now, what do you intend to do about my responsibilities here? I will tell you honestly that the fewments hauler forced me into this position, but I have no wish to simply abandon my Snakes now that he's no longer in charge."
Petunia nodded. "First of all, every child who comes into the school on September 1 will be given the same sort of examination that the teachers have had. EVERYTHING will be documented. I don't know if the wizarding world has a child welfare department in the ministry, but I will be looking at that later and if there is one, every report will be turned over to them. If your Snakes are being abused, a copy of those reports will go to their Lords of House as long as they are not the parent or guardian of the child in question."
Snape sighed. "It is a frustrating fact, but abused children fit in very well in Slytherin simply because they've had to learn how to get around their abusers in order to survive. Self preservation is one of the traits the Hat looks for."
Petunia nodded and sighed as well. "As for the Potions classes, we're splitting them up into three or perhaps four classes, under different teachers with each year taught getting a teacher's aid. You will be taking the Sixth and Seventh Years. My ideal would be for First Years to spend the entire year on learning how to properly mix a potion complete with safety instruction with perhaps a few of the safer potions being brewed towards the end of the year. Second and Third Years would actually begin brewing and Fourth and Fifth Years would prepare for their OWLS. All of that would only happen if I can find decent teachers. I've been told that for all of your faults as a teacher, you've never lost a student to death and I wish to continue that record."
Snape sat back in his chair and pondered. "I would like to interview those who make it through their first interviews with you. I have no wish for my record to be tarnished either. It is the only good thing that I can say about my tenure here so far. Potions is such a dangerous subject, and most of the children are such complete idiots that I actually have nightmares of a child being killed in my classroom. The only way I've found to prevent that without completely restructuring the class, which the old goat would not allow, was to personally supervise each and every cauldron. It didn't help completely but at least no one died."
"That sounds more than reasonable. We're also beginning a primary school to give all the magical children that would eventually come to Hogwarts a standard beginning education. What do you think about having an introductory to potions class? One where they are not actually making potions, but learning how to properly go through the motions, such as oh I don't know, perhaps cooking?" Petunia asked.
Snape nodded. "My mother used cooking to teach me the basics at home. Making stew was the first step, cutting all of the vegetables into different sizes depending upon which vegetable it was, for instance. Making spice blends would do for learning the difference between crushing and powdering and such. If we can get the children taught the processes before they set foot in a potions class it would cut down on the accidents immensely."
"Then that's what we'll do," Petunia promised.