Sirius Black is many things.
He’s loud, brash, dramatic, unhinged at moments, intense, etc. Which is why it was pretty ironic that he would fall for Remus Lupin, the complete opposite of Sirius. Where Sirius was loud, Remus was quiet, where he was dramatic, Remus was calm, where he was unhinged, Remus would be there to bring him back to reality.
Now, don’t sell Remus short, he could be all those things and more when he chose to be, but other than those moments, mostly when he was with all the boys, he was a calm and peaceful presence.
In fact he was so calm, he was quiet, and he was so quiet that you would forget he was there. He could look so immersed in what he was doing you would think his attention would be completely off you.
False.
See, Sirius didn’t know at first, whatever gossip Remus had he would so conveniently tell it in a way you wouldn’t know he was the informer, playing like it was common knowledge, until he spotted him at the library one time.
Sirius had walked in searching for Remus, of course, and spotted him next to a table of girls, huddled together and speaking only for each other's ears. Normally nothing about this scene would have shocked Sirius, until he took a good look at Remus’ face.
He was leaning his head on hand, his body so conveniently placed with his back to the girls that obviously filled them with enough security to go gossiping right next to him. But it was his face that gave him away, they way his eyes were focused on a fixed point of the table instead of his study books, and they widened at the same time most of the girls at the table let out a scandalous gasp.
Sirius bets to this day if Remus hadn’t been biting his lip he would have gasped just as scandalously with them.
If there is one thing that most people don’t know about Remus, it’s that he is, in fact, a gossip.
Now normally, this wouldn’t bother Sirius, he listened and spreaded his fair share of gossip and wouldn’t condemn Remus for doing the same. But it was the way he sometimes scolded Sirius for gossiping with James or Marlene, or even with Remus himself.
Saying that it wasn’t any of his business talking about others lives with his friends. But Sirius knew. He say the way Remus would perk up everytime he heard a little bit of gossip. Saw how his back would straighten from his conveniently placed spot around their house to be able to listen in.
Which is why Sirius is doing this. A couple days ago while scrolling through tik tok, Sirius came across a video of a women pranking her boyfriend by pretending to be on the phone and gasping and saying a whole bunch of things that made it seem like something crazy had happened.
So Sirius devised a plan, he had actually prepared for it, he would play the ringtone tune in their room and then walk into the living room with his phone recording pressed to his ear.
He had actually practiced the camera angle multiple times yesterday, making sure Remus would be completely in the shot the whole time. All Remus needed to do was sit in his favorite spot on the couch and he could start his prank.
Which is happening now, because Remus just sat in his spot.
“I heard there’s this new movie on Netflix that just came out.” Remus spoke while picking up the remote.
“Oh yeah?” Sirius didn’t glance up from where he was scrolling through instagram on his phone.
“Yeah, it’s based on that one book I read.”
“Which one?”
“The one where she lives alone in North Carolina or something and gets convicted of murder.”
“Oh yeah, I liked that one.” Sirius finally glances up and notices where Remus is sitting and immediately perks up.
“Wanna watch it with me?” Remus asks, looking at him.
“Yes,” The smile on Sirius's face is borderline crazy, “Put it on while I use the restroom real quick.” He gives Remus a quick kiss before he leaves hoping to distract him from his sudden elation.
His short time in the restroom is spent thinking of what he wants to say. He decides to be only mildly dramatic, and gives himself a short pep talk in the mirror. He quickly flushes the toilet and turns on the faucet while he sets his phone up.
He lets the ringtone play for a few seconds, to make it seem believable, before he quickly turns of the faucet and ringtone before beginning to record.
“Hello?” He speaks while coming out of the restroom.
He makes his way back to the couch where Remus is typing in the name of the movie.
“Uhmm, no what's up?” He acts. He sits down in his pre planned spot and hopes to everything that he’s doing it at the right angle.
He waits a few seconds before letting out a dramatic gasp, “No she did not!”
He sees Remus head snap over to look at him, startled, before he looks back to the movie.
“Thats fucking crazy, your lying!” He exclaims
Remus’ side eyes him before looking away.
“No well, obviously I’m on your side. I can’t believe she did that to you. I mean her of all people.”
At that Remus can’t seem to help himself he leans over to tap Sirius on the shoulder before whispering, “Who’s on the phone?”
Sirius waves him away with his hand before continuing, “No, don’t apologize to that bitch, she should be the one apologizing to you for what she did.”
Remus whispers again, “Who?” He’s staring at Sirius with full attention. When Sirius doesn’t reply he looks away with scoff.
Sirius stops himself from laughing by choking out, “Her man did not try to do that.”
When Remus doesn’t react to that Sirius decides to take it up a notch.
“Fuck that bitch!” He raises his tone significantly, “And fuck her man tell him he wants to fight someone I’ll go over there right now!”
Remus apparently decides he's had enough and leans over to press his ear to Sirius’ phone. Sirius moves his head away and pushes him away.
“Stop.” Sirius whispers to him.
Remus doesn’t listen as he asks again, “Who’s on the phone?”
“No she’ll get what’s coming to her, karma will get her ass for that, it's almost evil what she did.”
Remus stares at him with what could be a betrayed look as he speaks, “I always put mine on speaker.”
Sirius laughs as he draws his phone away from his ear, “I’m sorry babe, it’s a joke, it's a prank, I was recording.” He reaches out to catch Remus’ arm as he attempts to get off the couch, “No don’t go.” He laughs.
Remus smiles embarrassingly as he lets himself be pulled into Sirius arms, “It’s not funny, I thought I was gonna have to go fight someone right now.”
Sirius squeezes him tight, “You little gossip, why would you be fighting?”
Remus huffs, “I’m not gonna let someone try to put their hands on you, I’ll fuck them up.”
“Awww,” Sirius coos, “I know baby, I’d do the same for you.”
Remus lifts his head from Sirius' chest, “Delete that video.”
Sirius clutches his phone to his chest, removing an arm from around Remus, “Never, this is my chance to show everyone what a big gossip you are.”
They don’t end up watching the movie as Remus wrestles Sirius off the couch trying to get his phone. He never ends up succeeding when Sirius lands a few well timed kisses, and he wasn’t actually trying to get the phone because if he really wanted to grab it he could’ve. Skinny as he seems, Remus actually has some strength to him.
And when Sirius shows the video to their friends, Remus just grumbles, feigning annoyance. Sirius clutches his shoulders from where he’s sitting sideways on his lap and kisses his forehead, before laying his head on Remus’ feeling his arms clutch his waist tighter.