Chapter 4
January 14th 1977
It's Friday, school has been in session for a week and Regulus is absolutely done with everyone and everything. Tomorrow is the first Hogsmeade trip of the year and Regulus will not be attending. He has no friends and has been avoiding his brother since last week when he punched Mulciber in the face in the great hall. To be honest he's been avoiding everyone. The first few days he had a few tripping hexes thrown at him walking from class to class, been called many slurs and had far too many disappointing looks thrown at him. On top of that, he's not been sleeping very well or going to meals so is ten times more on edge than usual. Because of this, he has taken extra care to spend as little time in the corridors as possible and turn corners any time he sees Sirius. If anyone is going to break him, it'll be his brother.
He is currently sitting in the farthest corner of the library 'reading' a book. He has taken to pretending to read in the back corner of the library while he dives into the deep depths of his thoughts and regrets. He had such a calm life before, everyone respected him for his family status and stayed out of his way letting him mind his own business. Part of him regrets blurting out his darkest secret to his mother and wishes he just stayed and had children with some random pureblood girl he was probably cousins with. The other part knows that's not the way he wishes to live his life. He is trapped in his thoughts when he hears someone plop down on the seat across from him. He prays to Merlin it's not Sirius and looks up from his book.
"Hi! Regulus Black isn't it?" He recognises her as Pandora Lovegood, a Ravenclaw girl in his year.
"Yes," Regulus replies, looking up from his book, a deadpan expression on his face.
"Are you alright? You look terrible, plus you're sat alone in the back corner of the library pretending to read." She asks him. All he can wonder is how on earth she knew he wasn't reading.
"Why do you care? Also, how'd you know I wasn't actually reading?"
"For a start, you've been on the same page for 20 minutes."
Oh.
"You've been watching me read for 20 minutes?" Regulus asks her, glaring.
"No, I've been watching you PRETEND to read for 20 minutes." She corrects.
"What do you want?"
"I don't know really. You just looked lonely and everyone thinks I'm too odd to be friends with, not that it bothers me, so I thought id come over and say hi." She says which Regulus thinks is actually quite nice. She seems sweet. He'd always thought she was odd too, she is, but he'd never given her the time of day to realise she was actually rather lovely. "I can leave if you want, just thought id give it a go."
"It's okay, stay if you like. You don't look like you're about to curse me or hex me so it's fine."
"Whos cursing and hexing you? And why ARE you alone, do you not usually have your little posse with Crouch and Rosier?"
"Yes." He looks back down at his book to do some more pretend reading.
"So..... what happened? And don't pretend to read to try to get out of talking to me, I could talk for hours whether you're talking back or not. I'll keep going if you wish."
"I like blokes."
"What?"
"Im gay. I like blokes. That's why they're not talking to me. I like blokes and I was disowned over the holidays."
"Well then... that's just another thing you and I have in common. Another reason we should be friends."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"You like blokes, I like blokes. It's honestly the perfect friendship."
"Huh? You're not bothered by it?" He asks, genuinely puzzled, looking up from his book.
"Why would I be, I'm not a monster. So.... friends?"
He smiles for the first time in a week. He thinks it'll be nice to get to know Pandora, she seems genuinely lovely.
"Sure, Pandora. Friends." He answers and the smile that passes her face is the biggest smile he thinks he's ever seen on anyone's face. At least now he's not a total loner.
January 21st 1977
It's been a week since Regulus and Pandora became friends. Over the week Regulus has learned that they have a lot more in common than one might expect. To an outsider, they are polar opposites, the estranged heir to the noble house of black and the Hogwarts certified 'loony'. But if you looked closer you'd see that they both love muggle books and could discuss their favourite authors for hours. They both love astronomy and have found themselves in the astronomy tower late at night, after curfew, together for the last week. They both love Greek mythology and fizzing whizzbees. The list goes on but Regulus thinks he'd be here for hours listing them off.
He is currently on his way to meet Pandora in the library for some last-minute studying before their potions assessment on Monday. It is important to mention he still hasn't spoken to Sirius yet and has been avoiding him like the black plague. But Regulus had been avoiding thinking about his brother until he hears a familiar pattern of footsteps behind him. The corridors are rarely empty considering it's after dinner and a Friday night, so it's not hard for regulars to be 100% positive his brother is walking a few metres behind him.
"Reg!" Sirius is running now trying to keep up with his younger brother and get his attention. "Regulus, stop!"
Regulus rolls his eyes but stops and turns to meet his older brother anyway.
"What do you want? Shouldn't you be partying with your friends or something?" Regulus doesn't think he can sound any more uninterested.
"You've been avoiding me." Sirius points out.
"What an astute observation. Congratulations, Sirius, you can actually use that big head of yours." Regulus replies with nothing other than pure sarcasm in his voice.
"Oi! Don't be mean Reggie. I've just been trying to check on you. I can't seem to ever find you."
"That was the goal, yes."
"But why, I haven't done anything wrong and it's been 2 weeks since we've talked. You didn't come to meals at all last week and I've only seen you leave the hall at breakfast this week before any of your friends show up." Sirius looks genuinely concerned. "I'm worried about you Reg."
"I'm fine," He says turning round and heading back in the direction of the library. He doesn't particularly want to talk about his current eating habits right now. It's true though he didn't go to meals at all last week, only going to the kitchens when he knew the corridors would be empty at night in order to avoid carry and even, and pretty much everyone in his house. It worked fine, the house elves loved Regulus and we're happy to feed him. He only decided to start having breakfast again when he nearly passed out at quidditch last Thursday, so he just goes really early before the majority of students are even there.
"Regulus, stop." Sirius grabs his arm and he visibly flinches at Sirius' touch. "You're not okay Reg. We need to talk. You need to talk."
"Sirius leave it! I'm busy, I have things to do." he feels small and weak right now and he doesn't like it. "Not tonight." With that, he pulls his arm away from Sirius' grip and walks to meet pandora leaving his older brother standing helpless in the corridor.
When he makes it to the library Pandora is waiting at their regular table. He plops himself down on the seat across from her and slammed his head into the table. He lets out a massive sigh and lifts his head to meet Pandora's concerned eyes.
"Hi." He says trying to sound too gloomy.
"You spoke to your brother," she says absolutely certain with herself.
"Pandora, how on earth do you know that." Regulus is truly mesmerized by Pandora. She always just knows.
"I have my ways," she replies tapping the side of her nose with her finger. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Not really."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, maybe another time."
"Okay, shall we study for potions? I need you to help me with something."
They begin studying and sit there for hours, Regulus helping Pandora and pandora helping Regulus. They laugh when Pandora chews her quill too much and ends up with an ink splatter on her lip. Overall they are pretty prepared for this assessment on Monday, or Regulus thinks so at least. They only leave the library when they are kicked out because it is nearly curfew.
"Do you wanna go to the tower? I doubt anyone will be there." Regulus asks while they're standing outside the library.
"Sorry, Regulus, I'm absolutely knackered. I think I'm just going to go to bed."
"That's alright," he says with a lopsided smile. "I going up anyway, need to clear my head." It's true, he does need to clear his head, but there is also the factor that Barty and Evan most definitely will not be asleep in their dorm and Regulus doesn't want to deal with either.
"Well, enjoy. I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," Pandora says walking towards Ravenclaw tower and blowing Regulus a kiss over her shoulder. Walking is a bit of an understatement, she practically skips back.
Regulus walks to the astronomy tower and is glad to find that there are no horny teenagers blowing off some steam (or each other more accurately) on a Friday night. It's a clear winter's night, so the sky is glittering with stars and Regulus feels more at ease when he walks in and sits himself on the ledge, looking down at the ground below his dangling feet.
He just sits there taking in the peacefulness and quiet the stars offer him. He finds his brother in the sky easily, hoping one day that the Regulus and Sirius on earth will be just as at peace with each other as the Regulus and Sirius in the sky. He's not even sure why he's avoiding Sirius, it just feels right. He doesn't want to be a burden. He already feels bad infiltrating the Potter's lovely home, the home Sirius escaped him from. He knows ignoring Sirius isn't going to work in the long run but it works at the moment.
The cold winter breeze hits his face and sends chills through him as it penetrates the thin fabric of his jumper. He definitely is not wearing enough layers for this, but the cold further soothes him. He is at peace in the cold, silent winter night until the door swings open.
Regulus sighs, there's no way he could've expected to actually have peace for any more than 5 minutes. He turns his head expecting to find a couple that has come up to 'star gaze', but no. Of course it's not. That would just be too much of a blessing from the universe. If it was a couple Regulus could just excuse himself and let them do their thing. But no, who is it Regulus turns around to see?
The Gryffinfor golden boy that is James Potter.