Heroes
Regulus wished he could have been there with his brother. He knew how anxious Sirius could get when it came to music and how no one could really spot the signs. He was there, all alone, at such an important event for him and his career, and Regulus was stuck in the house a pile of nerves himself.
When Sirius came to him with the idea of going to the X-Factor, Regulus laughed because their mother would never allow it. But the older Black had decided that he wanted to and nothing could stop him. It has always been like that.
So, not even a day later, Sirius came up with a plan.
Normally Regulus didn’t bother to be part of Sirius’ grand plans but he truly believed his brother could actually win the show, after all, he already got through the first stage.
Contestants were supposed to send a video signing to the producers as the first part of the auditions. Regulus didn’t see the video since his brother didn’t allow him, but he was willing to bet a load of money Sirius sang Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis.
Every Sunday, their mother would go to church and leave them with the butler, Kreacher. That was the time of the day they had to breathe calmly, except it wasn’t. The butler would follow them like a shadow, even waiting for them outside the bathroom. If they breathed wrong their mother would hear about it in a detailed description. It’s creepy, to say the least. Sirius’ main obstacle was getting out of the house with Kreacher and his hawk eyes.
So he woke up earlier than he normally would and headed down to the library, sitting close to the big window, the biggest in the house. Regulus took long to come down, his face even paler than it normally was, and his grey eyes with deep dark circles around them. He wasn’t sick, of course, it was Sirius and his white powder he managed to sneak into the house as a Christmas gift to his young brother. Regulus always loved the arts and makeup was a part of it.
With a very convincing worried expression, Sirius got up from the chair and came to hug Regulus, asking if he had slept well and what he was feeling. Both of them knew Kreacher was just behind the door listening closely to make sure it wasn’t a prank. Regulus answered he wasn’t feeling well and had a terrible headache that kept him all night, receiving a soft kiss on the forehead and a whisper of soothing words from his older brother. With that Sirius yelled for Kreacher that came with his usual limp mere seconds after.
The sight of the younger boy's terrible state actually worried the butler, seeing as Regulus has always been his favorite. The old hands cupped his cheeks as he inspected how bad it was. His eyebrows furrowed as he felt Regulus was quite hot, not burning but not his usual cold, almost dead, temperature.
“Master Regulus, go up to your room, I’ll make a cup of tea for you, just the way you fancy,” Kreacher said, his accent too posh even to the Black brothers. He only received a tired head shake from the “sick” boy before leaving the room. Not long after, Regulus gave Sirius the same goodbye as he went up the stairs.
Sirius waited to hear the noise of the door closing to go to the window.
The Black Manor was terribly old so everything creaked when being used. There’s no way to go unnoticed in this house. Because of that, he knew that he didn’t have a lot of time to run away. The only things he had to his advantage were that Regulus’ room is on the last floor and Kreacher took twice as long to get down the stairs due to his leg injury. No one ever knew what happened, but Sirius wouldn’t be surprised if it had to do with his mother.
He checked his pockets and did a rundown of what he needed. Money, id, and the document signed by his mother (he had always been brilliant at faking signatures) stating he could be part of the program.
Now or never, he thought to himself while opening the window. There was no way to make it quieter so he just shoved it open and jumped.
The cold London breeze assaulted his cheeks and made a shiver go down his spine. He didn’t have time to think about it. Regulus probably kept Kreacher the longest he could in his bedroom and there’s no doubt he was already cursing as he climbed down the stairs.
So Sirius ran.
Like a criminal runs from the police.
Like the devil runs from the cross.
He didn't let himself stop to get some air til he was inside a cab on his way to the opportunity that could change his life.
༄༄
Remus thought his head might explode with the pressure. He had about 40 minutes until he was getting on the stage and singing to a large crowd and everyone who watched the show at home. At least he wasn’t the only one on the verge of a breakdown. Not even five minutes before, a bloke ran past him sobbing.
He was sitting on the carpet floor, his leg shaking fast. He tried to play a silly little game on his mobile but got too angry when he lost, so he attempted to rehearse the song he was going to sing but got frustrated when he couldn’t hit the notes properly. So he gave in and sat down.
If he focused hard enough, he could hear someone on stage meeting the judges. The thought that it would be him soon made his stomach turn and not in a good way. Afraid he would throw up in front of everyone, Remus rushed to the toilets, pushing people aside and getting angry responses.
The toilet was much quieter than the outside and he was finally able to take a deep breath. Remus looked at himself in the mirror and a ghost looked back. He looked awful. Tired and sad. Like an empty shell of what he looked once. Remus washed his face gently, appreciating the cold water, and tried a smile only to let it fade. His heart clenched in his chest as he realized who he looked like.
God, I miss you, he thought, fighting the urge to cry.
Remus was snapped from his thoughts when a bloke came in happily whistling.
“So, have you auditioned yet?” The bloke asked as he tried to fix his hair and failing miserably.
“Not yet. You?” Remus asked trying not to look too hopeful for advice.
“I’m one of the last ones but I was too excited to stay home. My mum said I was like a bird in cage but I didn’t understand ‘cause I don’t even like birds. I mean they’re fine far from me but I don’t really like ‘em if they’re close. Weird little creatures, they are. Especially pigeons, hate those even more. Always look like they’e plotting your death,” Some part of Remus was jealous of the calm energy he exhales, the rest of him was amused by how he could talk about fucking birds like he isn’t about to sing infront of thousands of people.
“Oh, that makes no fucking sense.”
A beat passes with no one saying a thing and Remus is ready to apologize til his death but the bloke starts laughing hysterically.
“I like you, mate. I’m James, by the way.”
“I’m Remus,” He says contemplating what is going on in James’ mind since he found a dude really funny after he was insulted by said dude.
“Remus? As in Lupin?”
“Yes… How do you know?”
“The producers were looking for you like chickens with their heads off. It’s quite funny,” James paused for a bit and fixed his lopsided glasses looking confused, “Well, not the chickens getting their heads chopped off, that’s not funny at all, it’s just brutal. Dunno why even said that. I hate chickens, like I’m terrified of them, you knoow? But I don’t them dead, just far from me…”
Shit, shit, shit.
“I better go then. It was nice meeting you, James” Remus said rushing out of the toilets, interrupting the other boy as he rambled.
“My pleasure, mate. Good luck.” He didn’t even reply, he just ran into a producer and said his name before he was escorted to the stage.
༄༄
Sirius was standing next to the stage wings, watching carefully everyone that sang, learning what kind of performance the judges enjoy best and which kind of performer the audience liked more. He definitely wasn’t gonna take any chances.
Overall, there have been some good singers but no one amazing that will definitely win, so he still had a good shot.
Sirius’ favorite audition was a small blonde bloke (his name starts with p. Percy? Patrick? Peter? Yes. Peter) that smashed a song he’s pretty sure is from a musical. Defying Gravity, maybe. That high F was hit with such ease and perfection that gave Sirius literal chills.
After him, a brunette girl got on stage. She was very quiet and wasn’t captivating at all so both the audience and judges were quite bored.
Sirius decided he couldn’t go home with his hands empty so he would have put on a show.
While he thought about how he would improve his performance a literal tower stopped behind him.
Sirius was sitting down so everyone looked tall but this man? He had to be at least 6 feet.
After the shock with the height passed, Sirius realized he was a very handsome tower.
His sandy blonde hair was messy like he constantly ran his fingers through it, and his face had thin and pale scars that gave him an air of danger that Sirius found himself caught on instantly. He barely caught a glimpse of his eyes before he was walking onto the stage, microphone in hand.
Sirius Black wasn’t a desperate person but he was running to the big screen behind the stage to see more of that masterpiece of a tower man.
The camera zoomed in on his face making the scars a bit more apparent. He heard some girls gasp and giggle at the sight and he could’t help but pity them because if his gaydar was’t wrong - and it never was - that man is a major, raging homosexual.
The bloke gives a shy wave to the judges with a small smile, no more than a curl of his lips and Sirius found himself thinking he would kill to see a proper smile on his face.
It’s only when the camera pulls away from his face that Sirius can see his clothes. He had ripped baggy jeans with doc martens paired with a brown grampa sweater. A goddamn grampa sweater. If it were anyone else Sirius would laugh so hard he wouldn’t be able to breathe but his breath was caught for another reason.
“Hello.” The judge with white hair said. Sirius was pretty sure his name’s Dumbledore.
“Hi” The man answered, testing the mic like he never used one.
“What’s your name?” Dumbledore asked like he’d been over this kind of conversation a thousand times and he probably had.
“Remus Lupin”
Remus Lupin.
Remus.
Lupin.
Sirius could’t help but mouth the name, liking how his lips shaped to articulate every syllable. He catched only bits of the interview having drifted away.
“Mate, you better close your mouth, it looks like you’re about to drool,” Someone said to him with a light chuckle.
“Oh, thanks, mate,” Sirius mumbles, trying not to look too embarrassed.
“Yeah, anytime. I’m James,” The dude said, holding out his hand.
“Sirius,” He took it and shaked it.
“He’s proper beautiful, isn’t he?” The bloke, James, comments, and Sirius has no choice but to agree because it is true. “Met him in the loo, he’s quite funny too. Said something about how it makes no sense that I’m here so early because I was too excited to stay home or maybe it was about me saying how don’t like birds” Sirius laughs and James only stops talking when Remus - what a lovely name - prepares himself to sing.
He looks a bit awkward like he doesn’t really know what to do with his feet. He stands in silence with his eyes closed during those awful seconds til the song starts. In the very first seconds of the song, Sirius had a grin on his face knowing his theory just confirmed itself. Remus Lupin is really gay.
No person in the history of the universe ever sang Heroes by David Bowie in a singing competition and was straight, Sirius thought to himself.
The grin was slapped out off his face once Remus started singing. His voice had this slight rasp like he had a sore throat that made chills run down Sirius’ body. It matched the song so perfectly that Bowie must have written it knowing a tall scarred man named Remus Lupin was going to sing it. The song doesn’t escalate into long notes or belts but it doesn’t need to. Sirius found himself completely hypnotized by the way Remus had all his weight in one foot while he tapped the other lightly to keep the tempo. At one point he played into the voice rasp seeming to be getting more comfortable and it’s so attractive Sirius was ready to marry him on the spot.
The song ends and everyone clapped vigorously. It should be illegal how Remus blushed with the cheers from the audience. It’s so quick Sirius would miss it if he wasn’t staring as his life depended on it but Remus looks up to the ceiling and smiles sweetly.
Sirius barely registers that Lupin got “yes” from all the judges, all he could think was Remus singing. His voice played in his head on repeat and it’s so overwhelming he needs to sit. He apparently doesn’t sit gracefully because James looks down at him worried but Sirius was far too lost in his thoughts to notice and care.
Remus Lupin singing Heroes would be the death of him and he wouldn’t mind at all.