Someone once said to him that every star in the sky was born from a dead soul, when they shine it’s because they have awakened to watch over their loved ones. Harry asked them won’t the stars get tired and sleepy, they replied that the stars never sleep, that’s why they remain for the whole night.
He couldn’t really remember what was told to him after, the memory was fleeting, like a firefly, quickly lit up just to be turned off. Harry didn’t know who that was, he only knew that person was very important to him. The memory kept coming back in his dream, he wondered why his heart kept aching. He tried to find any clue that would lead to that person’s identity only to find nothing. Whenever Harry asked anyone about them he only received a shake of a head. For some reason he felt as if everyone was trying to cover something up.
“Harry, what are you daydreaming about?” James patted his shoulder. He only smiled back as a reply.
“Just random things.”
“Too bad, class is beginning. Start paying attention!”
“I’m honestly surprised to hear a person like you say that.”
“I’m just worried about you!”
They joked around for a bit then went off to their classes. Harry couldn’t really pay attention to the professors, it was like his mind was miles away. It kept happening, sometimes he tried to concentrate but failed terribly. Professor McGonagall noticed her student’s problem, she told him worriedly:
“I think you should visit the Hospital Wing.”
Harry went to the Hospital Wing but madam Pomfry told him he’s fine, it’s just stress from studying. He didn’t really believe her but he himself can’t find any reason to object.
“Harry, how are you now?” Sirius appeared from nowhere, but Harry felt like he had been waiting for him for quite a while.
“Just stress, that’s all.”
“That’s all? Get more rest, don’t pressure yourself.”
“I know. By the way, do you know a brunette with a few scars on their face?” Sirius slightly panicked as soon as the question slipped, he hastily made up a lie.
“No, I don’t. I don't think there's anyone like that in Hogwarts.” As soon as he heard “in Hogwarts”, Harry’s head started aching, the pain was so unbearable he found it hard to stand. Something was trying to make its presence known only to disappear again.
“You okay, Harry?” Sirius quickly helped Harry up.
“It hurts…” Harry hugged his head, it felt like someone was hammering nails into his skull. Sirius carried him to the Hospital Wing, luckily it wasn’t too far, it was only a few minutes until they arrived. All of his senses seemed to lose their function, he could only hear Sirius and madam Pomfrey say something.
“..effects of an Obliviat…” Obliviate? Did someone obliviate him? Harry drowsily fell asleep, he dreamt of the starry sky and that figure again, but this time it was much clearer. He even heard that person say they will give him a thousand stars made from paper on his birthday. When he woke up, Sirius was already there, he gave him a potion and told him to drink it.
“What’s this Sirius?”
“Just some headache potion, don’t worry.” Harry was about to take a sip, but when he remembered the earlier conversation, he hesitantly put it down.
“Is anything the matter? Drink it, Harry, it’ll make you feel better.”
“I’m sleepy, I’ll drink it later.” He lied, pulling the blanket up until it covered his head, hiding his guilty face after lying. Sirius didn’t question further, only told him to drink it and left. He left bed after Sirius left for a while, he sneaked out of Hospital Wing to look for information about the obliviate spell in the library. After digging for a bit he finally found something useful.
“When a person is affected by an obliviate, they will experience a headache whenever they encounter an event similar to the forgotten memory. If that person craves the forgotten memory too much the headache will happen more frequently…” Harry felt uncomfortable, so he really was obliviated? But who would do that? Why would everyone try to cover his forgotten memory?
Harry's discomfort kept growing second after second, he was determined to figure his memory out, but he needed to return to his room first. He isn't interested in being scolded right now. After staying in the Hospital Wing for a bit longer, he was released- actually, he sneaked back into his dorm.
When Harry returned and saw no one, he knew they sneaked out again. He dug through his stuff, pulling out a box full of stars, there was even a tiny string of led light inside. Harry turned the light on, the dark room slightly lit by the box's light. He stared at it, suddenly unfamiliar memories flooded his mind. He hastily ran to the astrology tower.
The tower felt more magical during the night, there were thousands of shining stars in the dark black sky, each felt like a loving gaze of a deceased person. Harry hugged the box, the stars couldn't escape his gaze. He broke down crying, hugging his little box of stars tightly as tears streamed down his cheeks.
He remembered now, he remembered who that person in his dream was, he remembered why everyone was hiding the truth. Remus was dead, who obliviated him was also Remus, everyone was afraid he couldn't move on from his death so they covered it up the best they could.
James and Sirius arrived as soon as they heard crying, surprised when they see a familiar kid. They sprinted over, wiping Harry's tears away.
"Don't cry, did something happen? You can tell us, Harry." But that did not comfort Harry at all. If anything, he just started sobbing louder, small arms clutched onto the box of stars like it was his life.
"You lied to me, everyone lied to me, Remus is dead…" James was stunned when he heard his deceased friend's name, he shook Harry's shoulders in panic.
"Who, who told you this? Who told you about him, Harry?" Harry didn't reply, only his mumbling about everyone lying to him.
"I'm sorry." Sirius apologized after his silence. Harry slowly calmed down as if comforted by his apology.
"We didn't want to hide it from you, but it was Remus' wish, he didn't want you to be hurted by his death."
"So you decided to hide it from me? You aren't afraid that I'd grieve longer if I find out?" Harry was slightly angry, the tears on his face hasn't dried yet.
"Harry we-"
"That's enough for me! Can you please go to your dorm and leave me alone?" James and Sirius were planning to tell Harry something, but decided not to after seeing how worn out he was. Harry stayed on the astrology tower after they left, staring at the starry sky again. Among the glittering stars there was one that shone the brightest.
"Remus, is that you?" Harry looked up at it, his voice shaking. The star couldn't hear him nor could it reply. That night, he sat lonely on the top of the astrology tower to watch the stars, his heart aching, longing for a warmth that was long gone.