Bedroom Community

Wilbur was exhausted. He had just come back from quidditch practice and was running on four hours of sleep and a lack of midday caffeine. He was sprawled across his bed, headache pounding behind his eyes. He groaned dramatically, getting Schlatt’s attention from where the boy was sitting in his bed, doing an assignment.

The American rolled his eyes and put the parchment down. “What do you want?” He asked, eyeing the brit from where he sat. Wilbur frowned.

“Don't look at me like that.” He mumbled, properly sitting up before immediately laying back down as the pain in his head doubled.

Schlatt scoffed and tilted his head. “When was the last time you drank water? Monster energy, coffee, juice, milk and alcohol do not count.” He added quickly, just before Wilbur could say his usual excuse of drinking one of the mentioned beverages as a replacement for water.

Wilbur narrowed his eyes at Schlatt, and when the American raised his eyebrows to signify he was being serious, the brunette sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “I don't know, three days?”

“Wil!”

“I've been drinking other stuff!” Wilbur held up his hands in surrender, biting his cheek for a moment. “I mean, it's got to have some natural water in it or something…”

Schlatt shook his head, “I don't think any of the things I listed have 'natural water' in them, idiot.” He sighed lightly, watching as his friend covered his eyes with a hand, blocking out the light of the room.

“Just get me water, Schlatt.” He demanded, though half-heartedly.

Schlatt crossed his arms. “Why should I? You've brought this upon yourself.”

Wilbur sighed and shook his head, slowly. “Because I'll die. And also, if I even try to get up at this point I think I'll pass out and hit my head on something. And then die.” He said, and Schlatt was already up halfway through his statement, begrudgingly searching through Wilbur's backpack.

“You're so bossy sometimes…” Schlatt mumbled, though they both knew he didn't mean it.

Wilbur scoffed as he took his hand away from his eyes and grabbed the water bottle Schlatt had offered to him. "I'm not bossy, I'm autistic." He smiled, chugging half the bottle.

Schlatt stared at him. “You can't just use that as an excuse to not drink water!”

Wilbur gave him a funny look and tilted his head in confusion. “I wasn't using it as an excuse, I was correcting you! Besides, the 'tism makes me forgetful and doesn't tell me when I need to make sure I'm still living so it's tough sometimes, leave me alone.” Wilbur shrugged and Schlatt sat back down on his bed.

“I wish there was medication for you,” He said, not really thinking about it. Well, Schlatt had thought about it plenty over the years, but never really said anything out of fear of someone taking it the wrong way. Yet, he had managed to blurt it out.

Wilbur gave him the same funny look that he did just a few seconds ago. “I– Not in like– an ableist nazi way, not like that. More of like, something to help you remember those things and take away some of the rougher shit while still keeping the things that define your personality.”

Schlatt bit his lip, nervous about whether or not he had said the wrong thing. “Is that… Did I say something nazi ableist or do you get where I'm coming from?”

Wilbur looked over at him, shrugging and nodding. “I don't think you said anything wrong, I get what you mean. I mean, it's like how when Charlie started his ADHD medication, he was a lot less stressed but he still had his personality and strangeness that he had before.”

Schlatt nodded, breathing a small sigh of relief. “Yeah, exactly.”

Wilbur glanced up to the ceiling, staring at it for a moment or two before looking back to Schlatt. “I feel better now after the water.”

Schlatt’s expression broke out into a grin and an 'I told you so' look. “See what happens when you listen to me? I save lives and nobody bats an eye. I'm the underdog. It's just that you can't comprehend my genius because you're below me.”

Wilbur scoffed and shook his head. “Please, you couldn't get anyone below you.”

“Hey!” Schlatt grabbed his pillow and threw it across the room, hitting Wilbur in the face with a 'thwack!' “Asshole!”

Wilbur laughed and sat up, grabbing the pillow and getting to his feet. He tried to knock Schlatt over, hitting him with the pillow as hard as he could with the energy he had, but it didn't amount to much. Schlatt just sat there, snickering.

Wilbur rolled his eyes and threw up his arms in defeat. “How is it that you're so much stronger than me?” He complained, posture slouching.

“It's not that I'm strong, it's that you're weak and frail.” Schlatt teased grabbing the pillow that Wilbur had failed to attack him with.

Wilbur gave an offended look, a hand over his chest. “I am not weak and frail–” With that, Schlatt slammed the pillow into Wilbur’s side, knocking him over and onto the floor.

It wasn't that rough of a fall, due to the soft carpet, but it was unexpected, Wilbur choking on air for a moment. Schlatt grinned, still sitting on the edge of his bed. “Yeah? How's that for not being weak and frail? I can knock you over with a pillow.”

Wilbur sighed loudly and dramatically, making a show of an eye roll. “I wasn't prepared–” The Brit stopped mid sentence when the door to the dorm opened, the two boys looking over in unison to see who was joining them.

Wilbur dropped the theatrics when Ted walked through the door, taking in the scene before him. “...What's going on? Why are you on the floor?” He asked, going over to his bed and putting his bag down on the floor.

“Schlatt tried to brutally kill me with a pillow.” Wilbur said nonchalantly, fixing his glasses as they had gone lopsided. “Why are you back so late? Classes finished ages ago, were you at the library?”

Usually, Ted would be either in the common room or in the dorm by four, but it was quarter past five currently. A whole two hours past the end of classes.

Ted sighed and toed off his shoes, nudging them under his bed before sitting on the edge of it. “Believe or not, I got two hour detention with your dad. Well, two hours and a ten minute talk at the end…” He said, and Wilbur shot up into a sitting position and Schlatt’s posture straightened with a pop.

“What?! You got detention? But that never happens to you– and with my dad? What the fuck did you do?” Wilbur exclaimed, scrambling to his feet to sit on the edge of his own bed, now incredibly invested.

Schlatt nodded along in agreement. “Did you kill Mr. Halo or something?!”

Wilbur looked at Schlatt, tilting his head. “Which Mr. Halo?”

“It doesn't matter which one, I think Ted would get detention for either!”

“I think I would get more than a two hour detention, Schlatt.” Ted reasoned, smiling a little at how the two boys were in utter disbelief. For whatever reason, they all had this idea that Ted was some goody-two-shoes teacher's pet which, no, while most of his professors liked him, they often got annoyed with him more easily than other students. Probably just a biproduct of being friends with the people in his dorm.

In reality, Ted didn't mind causing trouble, he was often the one who came up with backup plans and figured out stories and lies on the spot to get out of punishment. “I snuck a potion from fourth period and then at lunch I got into your dad's office and tried to put an alihotsy draught into his tea.” He grinned and both Wilbur and Schlatt’s jaws dropped in sync.

“How did you get found out?” Schlatt pressed, wanting the rest of the story.

Ted took off his tie, putting it in his bedside drawer. “He came back sooner than I anticipated. I was just about to get out of there too, if I had been a few seconds quicker I would have been fine.” Ted sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.

Schlatt sat back, glancing back to his parchment he had disregarded. It was an essay for muggle studies, a subject he oddly found interest in. “I honestly don't even remember what an alihotsy draught does.” He said, picking up his quill and finishing the sentence he had begun to write.

“It's from the alihotsy plant, it causes hysterical laughter.” Wilbur explained. Schlatt nodded in acknowledgement, and after a second, Wilbur frowned and turned to Ted.

“Hey, I was sitting right in front of you in potions today, how come you didn't say anything?” Wilbur asked, genuinely curious.

Ted smiled a little, running a hand through his hair. “Because if I told you, then you would have told everyone else, and you guys always manage to create a ruckus wherever you go.”

Wilbur frowned. “We don't create a ruckus, how dare you.”

Ted shook his head and laughed, pointing to Schlatt’s pillow. “When I walked in here, you said Schlatt tried to kill you–”

“That was an exaggeration–” Schlatt cut in for a moment.

“–With a pillow. I heard you fall over when I was coming up the stairs!” Ted said, and Wilbur sighed in defeat.

The room fell silent for a bit, and then Schlatt asked, “Where's Big Q and Charlie?”

“Both are still in detention since classes ended. They blew up the kitchens again.”

****

Wilbur decided to attend dinner instead of going down the kitchens, but only really because Schlatt was going to be there too. It had been their thing for years now. If Schlatt was caught doing something mischievous, Wilbur would be found either in the same room or just down the hall. If Wilbur was leaving muddy footprints through the halls from quidditch practice, Schlatt’s were next to his. They were tied at the hip. It was never just Wilbur or Schlatt. It was always Wilbur and Schlatt or Schlatt at Wilbur.

Wilbur didn’t like the dining hall and never had. It was too packed, not big enough for the insanely massive student body. It was always too loud and there was rarely any food that Wilbur wanted to eat. But whatever, it was halloween, so he might as well show for the night.

He was sitting with his usual friend group, their laughter and conversations muffled. Wilbur had his mind on something else. Sitting across from him, Schlatt was leaning over Ted, trying to coerce Charlie into giving him his knife. Wilbur was unsure how the conversation had become this, but it wasn’t unusual. Going from mildly talking about essays to trying to choke each other out was almost a daily occurrence.

Wilbur stared down at his plate, not wanting to seem weird for staring at Schlatt. He had realised this crush of his a month and a half ago, and it was getting worse and worse by the day. The more he thought about it, the more he realised he had liked Schlatt for a very long time.

Fingers snap in front of Wilbur’s eyes, startling him out of his thoughts. “–ilburrrr, are you in there?” The teenager looks over at the boy to his left, Quackity. “Are you listening?” Was Quackity talking? Wilbur gives him a confused look, having not heard his voice at all earlier.

Wilbur shook his head a little, glancing down at his plate of half-eaten food. “No. Sorry, what were you saying?” Wilbur knew he was acting funny. He couldn’t keep letting himself slip away from what was happening.

Quackity frowned a bit and shook his head, though when he opened his mouth, Ted spoke first. “Why are you zoning out all the time? Well, you do it all the time anyway, but this is different. Has something happened?” He asked, head tilted. Everyone else had stopped talking.

Wilbur knew they were just trying to look out for him, they were listening and he appreciated it, they were great friends and did their best to make Wilbur feel safe and accommodated, but it was a bit terrifying to have them all looking at him.

“...No, I’m fine.” He smiles and throws in a little scoff to convince them. He fails. Niki, to his right, crosses her arms. Wilbur realises that they are definitely going to tag team and try and figure out why he’s acting off.

“What are you thinking about all the time? You can tell us, no judgement, what is it?” She says, and Wilbur feels her shoe tap his gently. He glances down under the table and sees her open hand. He put his knife down and held her hand. There were no romantic feelings behind it in the slightest, but sometimes Wilbur needed the comfort and Niki needed to know she was doing the right thing. It worked for both of them.

“Oh my god,” Wilbur hears from across the table, looking over to see Charlie with his mouth hanging open a bit. Schlatt leans forward to see his face, confused. “What? What is it?”

Charlie stares at Wilbur for an uncomfortable three seconds before his expression breaks out into a grin. “You’re not thinking about a thing,” Wilbur feels his stomach drop. Dear lord, no, this is not how this was supposed to go. “You’re thinking about–”

“Oh my god, youhaveacrushonsomeone!” Quackity explodes, rushing his words and startling Wilbur for the second time that night. Noise erupts in Wilbur’s ears as his friends are sent into mayhem, laughing and yelling, now the loudest at the table, possibly in the hall. Well, that didn’t take long for them to figure out.

He admits defeat, abandoning Niki’s hand to hide his face, feeling heat burst across his cheeks. Eventually the others settle down and of course, Wilbur is now in the hot seat for an interrogation. They did this for Niki when she let it slip she had a crush. And multiple years prior when Quackity said he had a crush, which had led to a five month relationship with Wilbur.

Charlie was the one to ask who Wilbur’s crush was, to which Wilbur responded with some silence and an eventual, “Does it matter?” Quackity rolled his eyes. “Yes, of course it matters. We’re your best friends, your wingmen, tell us who it is and I guarantee you, with my tactics, they’ll be head over heels in a week.”

Wilbur scoffed and shook his head. “I would rather die than have to witness you do that.” Quackity narrowed his eyes and sat up straighter, dramatically fixing his tie and running a hand through his hair. “Hm. Well, it’s not Niki, she’s already got someone. Unless it is Niki–”

“It’s not Niki,” Schlatt cut in, the first time he had spoken in a while. He had a smile on his face. “I swear to fucking god, if my best friend gets a crush on the girl who is dating my sister, this friend group is gonna have a lot of problems all of a sudden.”

Wilbur smiled, laughing a little with everybody else. “It’s not Niki.”

Quackity gave a strong nod, as if he was a professional detective. “Right. Not Niki.” She smiled at him. “It’s probably not Charlie… I don’t think you would stoop as low as Ted–”

Ted gasped dramatically and stood up, leaning over the table, trying to grab Quackity with a grin on his face. Quackity yelled out and attempted to duck under the table, but Wilbur had the initiative of wrapping his arms around the younger’s torso, holding him in place. Quackity squirmed aggressively, laughing loudly as Ted grabbed him by the front of his shirt, demanding an apology.

Wilbur looked over when Niki tapped his shoulder, noticing his father walking towards them. He immediately let go of Quackity, shooting a look at Ted, who instantly sat down, shoving a bit of roast potato in his mouth. Quackity sat up properly and began to chug his water.

“Everything alright?” Phil smiled and Wilbur swivelled around in his seat, nodding quickly. “Yep. Everything’s fine.”

Phil nodded, turning his attention to just Wilbur. “Wil, if it’s alright, can you just come up to my office?” Wilbur tilted his head, confused. He hadn’t done anything mischevious that week. Why was he going– “You aren’t in trouble, I just need to give something to you.”

“Oh, okay.” He glanced back at his friends, who were poorly pretending to not be eavesdropping, Wilbur trying not to laugh at them. “Yeah, sure, I finished eating a bit ago so it’s fine.” He smiled, getting up and beginning to follow Phil out of the hall.

Wilbur looked over his shoulder, grinning at his friends, successfully getting away from them and their questions. He was going to be hearing all about it back in his dorm tonight though. And probably all of tomorrow.