Chapter 6
Regulus~
“Now I’m just speculating, but, if Professor Slughorn really is, Professor SLUGhorn, we’re being duped,” Barty said matter of factly.
“You’re an idiot.” Regulus rolled his eyes.
“No, no, he has a point.” Pandora nodded along, looking deep in thought.
“I’m sorry, and what exactly is that point?” Dorcas smirked.
“Well if you think about it, Barty is wrong.” Pandora smiled softly.
“No, really?” Dorcas gasped dramatically.
“Yes! Slughorn really is SLUGhorn if you don’t think of it as the creature but as the mannerism derived from the creature: sluggish.” Pandora explained, gesturing lines in the air with their wand.
“You know, I was just trying to be funny but fuck you Reggie, I had a point.” Barty smirked, flipping Regulus off.
“Stop taking advantage of Dora’s pity on you.” Dorcas grumbled while playing with Pandora’s braids, they’d dyed them an even lighter blonde a few days ago.
“I have done nothing of the sort-” Barty was cut off by Evan walking in smiling, he immediately made space for him on the bed next to him. “What’s got you all happy, Evie.” Barty questioned, his smirk softening to a simper when Evan sat next to him, leaving little to no space. Regulus’ rolled his eyes on instinct, these two were so oblivious.
“Amos asked me out.” Evan beamed, smiling right at Regulus, a silent thanks running between them.
Barty’s smile dropped immediately, “I thought you said you’d already ‘scored a date’ with him, not that it’s much of a win.” Evan’s smile twitched at his own mistake. Regulus will quite literally murder him if he fucks this up after everything Regulus did to set it up.
“Yes, he had already asked me out but he felt it was inadequate, not romantic enough, you know? This time he did it real romantically, candles and flowers. You know the gist.” Regulus scoffed at Evans' horrible save only an idiot would believe.
Barty shuffled closer to Dorcas, putting space between him and Evan. “So, he’s a real romantic, huh? Didn’t think you liked that. Honestly, he sounds like a loser.” Dorcas placed her hand on Barty’s knee, trying to settle him. Barty looked up at Regulus with pleading eyes, normally he only did that when Evan was tired of a party and Barty was trying to get them all to leave.
“He’s not a loser, he’s lovely.” Evan stated, Dorcas glared daggers to the side of his head.
“Oh, lovely is he? Great.” Barty shut his eyes tightly, “Me and Regulus have to go, we have studying to do.” Barty stood up, grabbing onto Regulus’ sleeve and dragging him out. Dorcas stormed out after them, grabbing onto Barty’s arm on the way out.
Barty pulled them into a supply closet and threw a silencing spell around them. “You two need to get me with Elias. I don’t give a fuck how you do it. Fucking hell you can tell him I’d blow him or something, just get me with him. This isn’t about the stupid bet anymore. Why the fuck did we even make that? This was your fucking idea Regulus, fucking fix it!” Barty stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
Dorcas opened the door, screaming out, “YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A FUCKING CUNT ABOUT IT!” She turned back to Regulus rolling her eyes, “He’s not wrong though, you did kind of start the bet.” She said sympathetically.
“We could just call it off.” Regulus supplied.
“No! I mean- no, we can’t.”
“Why not?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Then uncomplicate it for me.”
Dorcas sighed, “Fine. Okay, how the fuck do I explain this? Do you remember meeting my Grandmother?”
“June? Yes of course, she was lovely.” Regulus added, unclear of its relevance.
“You know she insists you call her Nanna June since the whole chess game.” Dorcas raised her eyebrows at him.
“Fine. Nanna June. Get on with it.” Regulus rolled his eyes.
“So, you remember how superstitious she was?”
“Yes, vividly.”
“Well, it’s kind of like that. See, before the bet, me and Marlene never spoke. BUT, since the bet started… Reggie, she’s been choosing - CHOOSING - to sit next to me in divinations. She used to sit with your brother, now she sits with me. We can’t end the bet, Reggie. Please.” Dorcas pleaded.
“I’m sure she’ll still talk to you after it.”
“But why change it at all, especially if it’s good this way.” Dorcas protested.
“Dorcas, it’s ripping them apart. Not just Evan and Barty, look at Dora. I’ve never seen them this stressed.” Regulus argued.
“Can’t we just look out for me, just this once.”
“What do you mean ‘just this once’?”
“We never look out for me. It’s always, protect Pandora, coddle Evan, stand up for Barty, argue for you… we never look out for me. Granted, I don’t really tell you guys when I need you to. I’m really not good at that. But, can’t you tell sometimes? That I’m not okay? Or that I just need your help?”
“I’m not good at picking up on that sort of stuff.”
“Good, I don’t want you to be. I don’t want you guys to feel like you need to take care of me, I don’t-”
“We take care of eachother, Cass. You’re one of us and now it just feels like we’ve been ignoring you.”
“You haven’t been, I would just rather it if you didn’t feel the need to take care of me. I like it this way. But, right now I am asking for something. Can’t you do this for me, Reggie?” Dorcas pleaded.
“Yeah, I’ll keep it going. Eventually they’ll reel in all their mess.” Regulus doubted they would but Dorcas wanted this and he’d move the Earth for her if she asked.
“We both know they won’t but thanks. Seriously Reg, thanks.” Dorcas opened her arms for a hug, just an offer. Normally he wouldn’t but he would’ve felt like shit all day if he didn’t. Dorcas was a lot taller than him (taller than most people, only rivalled by Evan and Remus) so being hugged by her either made him feel like a child or safe, honestly, it was a toss up. It wasn’t a long hug, he was too awkward. She didn’t mention how awkwardly he hugged or how he treated touch, just opened the door and walked out with him, nudging him with her shoulder, smiling at him.
“So, you really like Marlene then?” He asked, trying to tease out the tension only he felt.
“Well, you know I’ve been crushing on her for ages. But, that was just a stupid hallway crush, it’s so much more now. She’s so much more.” Dorcas smiled fondly, thinking of memories Regulus will never fully know or understand. “How about you and James?”
“I haven’t seen him in a week, I've been kind of avoiding him.” Regulus added as if that didn’t affect him.
“Why?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Explain it then, idiot.”
“James is a very… vibrant person. It’s like- he feels all his emotions x10. So, the way he’s expressing his want for my friendship, looks almost romantic, and it’s messing with me. So, I’m avoiding him for my own sanity.” Regulus gave Dorcas the look that meant ‘drop it’. So she did.
“Oh! That reminds me, has James said anything about her? You know, like if she likes girls or not?” Dorcas looked down at him hopefully. Fuck, he’d forgotten all about his promise. There’s been so much going on. Remus and Sirius, Amos and Evan, Dorcas and Marlene, now Barty and Elias… himself and James.
“I don’t want to lie to you, I completely forgot to ask… But, I’ll ask, next time we hang out, I promise I’ll ask him.” Regulus promised, making sure he’d keep himself to it this time.
Dorcas looked kind of hurt that he’d forgotten about her, she moved the conversation on immediately. Regulus felt like shit. “What are we going to do about Barty?”
“We?” She was going to help him? After he forgot about her? Godrick, is she trying to show him how horrible he’s been.
“I know you helped Evan with Amos and I dumped the Marlene thing on you-”
“You didn’t dump it, you're my friend, it’s really not a problem.” Regulus swore.
“Okay but I’ll help you with the Elias thing.” She promised.
“You’re not gonna ditch me last minute as payback are you?” Regulus cocked his eyebrow at her.
“I won’t lie, I’m going to have to fight the urge to.” Regulus couldn’t help but laugh, “But, I promise to try to fight it as well as I can.” She smiled at him brightly.
“You know, neither of us have any connection to Elias.”
“He’s really given us a challenge hasn’t he.” Dorcas knocked her shoulder into his.
“Doesn’t he always? He’s Barty.” Regulus said fondly. “Oi, McKinnon’s over there.”
Dorcas stiffened immediately, “What? Where? How’s my hair?” She grabbed onto Regulus’ shoulders.
“Relax. She’s over there with my Brother. I can take him away for you.” Regulus offered.
“No! No, no, no. Don’t you dare. She’ll know it’s set up.” Dorcas protested.
“She’s a gryffindor, I doubt she’s smart enough.” Regulus snickered.
“Hey! I’ll have you know she’s quite smart.” Dorcas ranted about Marlene’s ‘genius’ while Regulus dragged her over to his brother.
“Sirius.” Regulus greeted, snapping Dorcas out of her Marlene-driven daze. Upon realising where she was she stiffened, offering Marlene a lopsided grin.
“McKinnon, loitering are we?” Dorcas flirted? Regulus wasn’t aware that was something she could do.
“Oh, you know me, absolute rebel.” Marlene giggled? He definitely didn’t think that was something SHE did. Regulus looked over at his brother to see his confused expression mirrored back at him, just with a bit more pride.
“Don’t I know it.” Dorcas smirked, stepping in closer to Marlene. Regulus took that as his cue to leave.
“S'il vous plaît, sortez-moi d'ici. Avant que mes oreilles ne saignent abondamment.” Regulus rolled his eyes.
“Alright, we’ll catch up with you ladies later. Marlene, don’t be a pleb.” Sirius grinned before dragging Regulus off.
“Wow, amazing exit.” Regulus dead panned.
“You asked for my help. You owe me for that by the way.” Sirius added.
“No, that was your payback for me getting you with Lupin.” Regulus corrected.
“What? I’m not with Moony?” Sirius looked at Regulus confusedly.
“Huh? Yes you are. I saw you together yesterday. His arm was quite literally hooked around your waist.” Regulus added an overly dramatic cough to express his disgust that his brother has a love life.
“We aren’t together, we were just mucking around.” Sirius avoided looking at Regulus.
Unlike Sirius, Regulus was horrible at dealing with his brother’s emotions. “What the fuck do you mean you aren’t together? You left Hogsmeade the other day intent on asking him out, what the fuck happened?” Regulus questioned.
“He likes someone else.” Sirius winced.
“No he doesn’t, I assure you.”
“He does.”
“And you know this, how?” Regulus felt like strangling his stupid, stupid brother.
“I- I found him in the Library with… with Lily… I’ve always known they were close, they have this weird connection, I don’t really understand it… well, I guess I didn’t understand it. I get it now.” Sirius picked at his nails.
“Well I don’t, so explain it.” Regulus demanded.
“He- you should’ve them, Reg. La façon dont il la regardait. He’s never looked at me like that… Il avait l'air vivant.” Sirius’ eyes got glassy, Regulus wanted to murder Lupin.
“I’m sure it isn’t like that-”
“I don’t want to talk about this. I have things to do.” Sirius turnt the corner leaving Regulus behind. Regulus pivoted on his heel, turning to storm back to McKinnon and Dorcas, who were now so far into each other's space they may as well be straddling each other.
“McKinnon.” Regulus pushed himself into their little area. “Have you seen Lupin?”
“Remus? No, last I saw, he and Lily were on their way to the library. But I’m no-” Regulus stormed off towards the library,
When he’d gotten there, he spotted Remus and Lily quite quickly. They were laughing, holding onto each other for stability. Regulus walked straight up to him and shoved his wand at his neck. Lily reached for her wand at the speed of light, holding it up to Regulus.
“What the fuck are you getting at? Do you think this is funny? Fucking with him like this? Cause if you think this is funny, I promise you Remus I have some fucking hilarious shit to show you.” Regulus pressed the wand deeper into his neck.
“Drop the wand or I’ll make you.” Lily threatened.
“Oh, you’ll make me, will you? I’d love to see you try. I’ve used and felt spells so painful your mind couldn’t even comprehend. I can rip you to pieces with the flick of my wrist. Watch yourself, Evans.” Regulus stared directly into her eyes.
“Regulus, stop it! What the fuck are you on about?” Remus attempted to push Regulus back but was clearly holding back not wanting to hurt him. Regulus wanted to kill him just for assuming he could harm him.
“He was going to ask you out! He fucking left Hogsmeade to go ask YOU out! But came here to see you all wrapped up around her. So that’s it, are you two together? And you’re just what? Using my brother because you like the feelings of having his attention on you? Are that fucking sad? That pathetic? You need to have my brother’s attention just to feel good about yourself because you know how worthless you are.” Regulus wanted Remus to cry himself to sleep every single night, with Regulus’ voice running around his mind.
“He was going to ask me out? He didn’t even come to me.” Remus looked dazed.
“Because you were too busy flirting with her.”
“He wasn’t flirting with me, we aren’t like that.” Lily swore.
“Sure you aren’t.”
“I’m a lesbian.” Lily stated making Regulus drop his wand.
“What-” He stared at her, looking at Remus hoping to see him just as confused.
“I don’t like blokes, meaning; I’m not trying to get with Remus. Can you fucking relax now. Godrick, you Blacks and your dramatics. So extra.” Lily rolled her eyes.
“That’s why you’re not with James.”
“Yes, not that I would’ve liked him if I did like men.” Remus nodded along with her.
“What does that mean?” Regulus pressed.
“It means; no girl wants some guy chasing her around professing his love every five minutes when she’s told him she’s not interested. Even if I did like men, it wouldn’t be James. Plus, he’s much more enjoyable as a friend, though I may be biassed.” Lily looked down at her book, “Now, I’m not going to waste my time talking to you if you’re just going to be angry. If you want to talk, take a few breaths then we can.” Lily’s words made him realise how ridiculous he was acting. Godrick, he was acting like Sirius.
“Does James know?”
“Why would he?” Remus answered for her, seeing as she was adamant on not talking to Regulus unless he visibly took a few breaths.
“Because- well wouldn’t he understand more if she just told him?”
“I don’t think she’s entitled to give James that just for him to understand. Plus, he’s calmed down, hasn't asked her out since fourth year. Think he finally realised how invasive he was.” Remus seemed mad on behalf of Lily.
“I have to go.” Regulus said turning on his heels, Remus grabbed onto his arm.
“I think you owe both of us an apology.” Lily looked up at her book expectantly. Regulus looked at her, like, really looked at her for the first time. She was quite beautiful. Even Regulus could see that. Lily Evans was elegant in a way his mother would’ve killed for. Regulus wanted to think of her as stupid for somehow denying James Potter. But, his mind seemed to betray him, refusing to think of her as anything near it. Godrick, he hated her for evading his anger.
“I’m-” Regulus clenched his fist by his side, “I’m sorry.”
Remus smiled up at him, “No hard feelings?”
“I have no feelings or thoughts for you, either of you.” Regulus walked away, but not before catching the hurt that crossed Remus’ eyes. Now that was satisfying.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regulus spent the rest of his day walking the grounds aimlessly, avoiding thinking about any of his current issues. Though the problem is Regulus’ mind refuses to shut up, so in a sad attempt at avoiding his problems, he’s just been brainstorming how to fix them all within the next 24 hours. His mind had just settled on the topic of ethical kidnapping when James’ voice broke through his thoughts.
“Hey, haven’t seen you in a while. You finally not ‘busy’?” James questioned, knocking Regulus’ shoulder with his own playfully.
“No, I seem to be even more busy than usual.” Regulus said coldly.
“Are you mad at me?” James looked worried.
“Do you want me to be?”
James scoffed, “Of course not.” Regulus picked up his pace, half because he wanted to be alone and half because he wanted to see if James would follow. He did. “Hey, what’s wrong?” James asked, his eyes soft.
“I went off at Remus and inadvertently threatened to torture him, I guess I now feel guilty? Or something, I’m not sure.” Regulus was surprised at his own honesty.
“Why’d you threaten to torture Moony? He’s like… okay, right?” James questioned, concern crossing his features but he didn’t move an inch away from Regulus.
“It’s complicated but to simplify it; I thought he hurt Sirius.” Regulus rubbed the back of his neck.
“Did he? Also you didn’t answer if he is alright or not.” James added.
“He didn’t, turns out my brother’s just a clueless idiot. Seems I am too when he’s involved. And yes, I didn’t torture Remus.” Regulus rolled his eyes.
“Why’d you go straight to threatening Moony?”
“Wouldn’t you? Take Remus out of the equation. Sirius told you this guy made him feel bad, wouldn’t you do what I did?” Regulus looked up at him, practically begging him to say he would too.
“I suppose… but if it was an emotional thing, I know Padfoot isn’t the best at understanding them… so, I’d try to get the full story first.” James decided.
“And if you found out the full story and Sirius was right?”
“I’d prank the shit out of the dude. My parents are strictly no violence, I wouldn’t make it physical unless they’d hurt him physically or if they started on me physically.”
“But what if this dude supposedly emotionally hurt him a lot, isn’t it fair to lay it on him?” Regulus felt more and more shit with every answer James gave him, but he kept asking for more and more.
“There are other ways to get back at him.” James added, looking back at Regulus, his eyes warm and inviting.
“Don’t you think that’s too nice? Letting him off easy?”
“Yeah, I do.” James admitted.
“Then, why do it?”
“I don’t know, I guess it’s not in my nature.” James shrugged.
“Don’t you get sick of your nature?” Regulus asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, aren’t you sick of being nice? Don’t you ever just want to go crazy? Give in to all your bad decisions, grab your first thought and fucking run with it… don’t you feel that?” Regulus looked up at him with pleading eyes.
“Yeah, I guess I do. But, we can’t just do that, Reg. Sometimes it’s good to deny yourself.” James looked down at Regulus, “Sometimes it isn’t…” He looked back up.
“Do you think I should’ve denied myself?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
“Would Sirius have done the same for you?” Regulus looked up at James, thinking what Sirius would do if James unintentionally hurt him.
“I don’t know… depends.”
“On?”
“Who the person is.” Regulus cursed his sudden spree of honesty.
“I don’t think you’re right. I share a dorm with the bloke, I’ve had to hear about his annoying little brother since first year. I don’t think he’d twice before doing exactly the same thing you did, probably worse.” James chuckled.
“He used to speak about me?” Regulus looked at James as if he’d just given him a piece of solid gold.
“All the time.” James smiled at him as if his doubt was cute.
“What’d he used to say?” Regulus asked.
“Why don’t we go somewhere more comfortable to talk? we’ve been walking around the same circle of classrooms for like 10 minutes.”
“There’s 20 minutes till curfew?” Regulus reminded him, though he was sure James couldn’t give two shits about curfew.
“Who’s gonna get us in trouble? How will they, if they can’t find us?” James smiled, mischief lining it.
“That sounds horribly creepy.”
James burst out laughing, “Shut up, come on.”
“Where?”
“Wherever you want to go.”
“Astronomy tower?” Regulus recommended.
“Why there?” He asked, looking genuinely interested. Curse James Potter and his interest.
“The stars.”
“Why go there for the stars?” James asked genuinely as if that wasn’t the dumbest question to be asked.
“It’s the astronomy tower? You know, astronomy - stars?” Regulus explained with his hands as if talking to a child.
“Yeah but, there's better views of the stars.” James claimed with a cocky smile.
“Oh really, go on then. Show me.” Regulus challenged, just wanting to be closer to James.
“Okay, but this isn’t an invitation to share around my secret access to the stars, Black.” James smirked, pulling Regulus along by his sleeve.
Comment était-il censé se concentrer sur les étoiles, alors que le soleil était assis à côté de lui. Les mettant tous dans la honte.