If 15 year old James could see himself now, pathetic would be a word that came to mind. He still lived in his childhood home, he was divorced, he was currently “taking a break” from Quidditch, and had not been on a date since his divorce. Sure he had hooked up with a few different witches and wizards, even a few muggles. But when it came to a romantic evening filled with wooing and charm, his life was severely lacking.
The only positive in his life at the moment was his 3 year old son, Harry. Not much good had come out of his brief marriage but he would do it over a million times if it meant he would have Harry. It wasn't ideal sharing Harry with his three mums but James was willing to soak up every minute he had with Harry.
Which brought him to now, sitting in his living room staring at the fireplace waiting for Harry to be dropped off by one of his mums. It was slightly pathetic that he was just sitting and waiting, but ever since James was let go from Puddlemere United, there wasn't much else for him to do.
As James was restlessly waiting he felt the wards around his house chime, signaling four people entering. James immediately knew who it was. Whenever it was time for Harry to come over, they would all be there to see him. James was convinced Harry thought they all lived with James considering how much they were over when Harry was there. At least James knew Harry would never feel a shortage of love in his life.
James kept his eyes glued on the fireplace as he listened to the sounds of his four closest friends letting themselves in and making their way into the sitting room.
“Mornin Prongs. I see you have been productive this morning. You even put on a shirt and trouser for us. How kind.” Sirius’s booming voice flooded the room but James continued to stare at the fireplace. He saw Sirius make himself comfortable on an armchair in the corner of his eye. Remus followed shortly after his husband to sit on the arm of the chair.
“Prongs? Are you there?” He saw Peter’s hand wave back and forth in front of his face. But James continued to stare. There wasn’t going to be anything that could grab his attention away.
“Good morning James”
Well except for that. Regulus Black’s voice will always be something to pull James’s attention away. It was the most beautiful melody he had ever heard. The sound that would ring in his ears for hours on end. James could listen to Regulus talk for hours and never tire of it. How he longed to lay his head in Regulus’s lap and listen to him read aloud for days on end.
That was another pathetic fact about James’s life. He was hopelessly in love with one of his closest friends. The minute Sirius had introduced Regulus to all of them in their second year, he was instantly a part of their group. Sure he had his own friends and did plenty without them, but Regulus was just as much a Marauder as the rest of them. They had even transfigured a bed for him in their dorm due to how often he was in there. Remus and Regulus were a terrifying duo when it came to prank ideas. They could create some of the most complex, interesting plans and never once get caught.
It took a bit longer for Regulus and James to click. Remus and Regulus would study and get high together. Regulus and Peter shared the experience of being trans men and were each other's main support systems throughout their journeys. Regulus and Sirius had the bond of being twins that no one could ever top. James and Regulus though, it took a few years but finally in James’s fourth year, Regulus’s third due to an illness keeping him from joining the same year as his twin, something happened.
That was the year Regulus tried out for the Slytherin quidditch team and landed the position of Seeker. James was already a Chaser on his house team and their first game that year was against Ravenclaw. The next weekend was Slytherin vs Hufflepuff and they all went to support Regulus in his first game. No one was expecting much, Sirius said he's never even heard Regulus take an interest in quidditch in their life. But when the game came to a close, the snitch fluttering in Regulus’s tight grasp, James knew he had found their connection.
After that game James took it upon himself to teach Regulus everything he knew about quidditch. They would go flying together, have one on one matches, and have late night debates over who was the best professional team. Quidditch brought the two of them together and they hadn’t strayed since. Regulus was the first to congratulate James when he signed on with Puddlemere and the first to come over when James was let go.
That was actually the day James realized he was in love. He had always felt a strong platonic bond with Regulus but it had never felt romantic. But something in the last year had started to change. James started noticing how he could see Regulus’s emotions brewing in his gorgeous gray eyes. He couldn’t take his eyes off his curls as they bounced when he walked. James could feel himself start to sweat when Regulus would twist his rings around his long, slender fingers. But he decided to ignore it and become a bit of a slag to keep his mind off it. He was newly single and not emotionally ready to go down that line of thought.
But the day that Regulus came to comfort James, he couldn't ignore it anymore. When Regulus was holding James as he cried, he couldn’t help but think he was right where he belonged. In Regulus’s arm, hair being stroked and comforting words being spoken in his ears. James knew in that moment that he had once more fallen in love, but this time it felt bigger and more intense. He knew that this was a once in a lifetime kind of love. Too bad nothing would ever come from it.
“James? Jamesie? PRONGS!” Sirius’s yelling brought James back into reality. He hadn't realized but he had been staring at Regulus for longer than probably appropriate for “just mates”. Regulus unfortunately seemed to notice and smirked as he took a seat on the floor with Peter.
“Sorry Pads, bit distracted today.” James looked down at his own hands to avoid contact with Sirius, scared he would be able to tell that James couldn’t stop thinking about how attractive his twin brother looked today.
‘I’ll say. For Merlin’s sake we were in here for 5 minutes before you even acknowledged us. You are all over the place today mate. Did you take your concentration potion? I swear Regulus just sent a batch over.” James loved Sirius with all his heart, but sometimes he needed him to stop talking. James wasn’t sure if he had taken his potion, being unemployed had thrown his entire schedule off so he didn’t have a set time anymore to take it. But there was nothing James hated more than people asking him if he had taken it. Just because he was having an off day didn’t mean he was missing doses. James lowered his head into his hands and let out a frustrated groan.
“Sirius love, I’m sure James is fine. He is a functional adult who can take care of himself. Plus I’m sure he’s just focused on Harry coming over.”
“Thank you Moony for recognizing that I am a competent adult. It’s about time someone did.”
Peter snorted and then leaned over to loudly whisper to Regulus, “Yeah mate competent and James Potter are two things that belong together in a sentence.”
James whipped his head up to look over at Peter with a glare but as he was about to say something he noticed Regulus giving the group one of his famous disappointed stare downs. Only he and Remus were able to accomplish those looks.
“Alright everyone let's leave the poor man alone and talk about what our plan for the day is. As exciting as it is, I don’t think Harry will enjoy sitting around bashing on his favorite person as much as the rest of you.”
“Okay okay fine. Sorry Prongs you know I just worry about you. But for today I say we go to the zoo. We haven’t taken little prongslet in forever.” Sirius was leaning forwards, clearly very excited about this plan.
“I second this idea. They just added a new big cat section that I have been wanting to check out.” Peter got up from the floor and moved over where Sirius was sitting and they started to make a plan.
James felt his stomach curl at the thought of going to a crowded public space. He was already feeling the beginnings of overstimulation and knew that something like the zoo would send him into full shut down mode. He didn’t want to spend his time with Harry barely able to talk or function. Maybe he had missed a dose or five in the last week. James honestly wasn’t sure.
As James could feel the dread start to spread through his whole body, he noticed Regulus giving him a thoughtful look. James sent back one of confusion and Regulus simply smiled and turned to the rest of the group.
“I think I will take a rain check on the zoo. I’m not feeling much up to it today. I can wait around here for you all to come back and get in some quality Harry time then. James I was actually wondering if you would also want to stay behind, we’ve been talking about going through your dad’s old potions room for a while now and haven’t gotten around to it yet. Today seems like as good a day as any.” Regulus had turned to James while he was talking and James knew what Regulus was doing. He was giving James an out.
As much as James wanted to spend the day with Harry he knew that he needed to take a step back. “Oh yeah of course Reggie. Sorry boys looks like its just going to be an uncle's day at the zoo, hope you don't mind. I just really need to get this done with Reg.”
“Are you kidding, we get Harry’s undivided attention without his Dad there to steal it all? Absolutely I am okay with this. Come on Pete, let's go pack some snacks.” Sirius jumped up from the chair and grabbed Peters arm and they both ran off to the kitchen.
“Don’t forget to pack food for Harry as well!” Remus shouted after them. “I should go monitor them or nothing will get accomplished. We all know how those two can get. Oh and James. I'm proud of you for putting yourself first today. Let me know if you need anything.” And with that Remus disappeared into the kitchen.
“How does he always know?” James turned to look at Regulus, who had a small smirk on his face.
“Some say it’s his werewolf intuition. I say it’s just Remus and his years of studying every single one of us.”
“You have a point.” James gave out a small chuckle. “Thank you Regulus. I think today would have been a disaster if I had tried to go. Please tell me we aren’t actually going to go through his potions room. That would be the most dull activity in the world.”
Regulus hung his head as he let out a laugh. “No James. Don’t worry, I have something else in mind on how we can spend our time.”
Before James could question him on his statement the floo roared to life. Soon standing in his living room was Mary and Pandora, who was holding a small Harry on her hip. Soon Harry was wriggling to get off his mum and as soon as she set him down, Harry ran and jumped onto his dad’s lap. James quickly wrapped his arms around his son, squeezing tight.
“Hey kid. I missed you too.” James looked up to see Mary and Pandora smiling fondly at the two. “Hello ladies. No Lily today?”
Pandora’s face turned slightly pink as she replied, “Oh Lily is getting ready and couldn’t make it over.”
“Are you all having a date?” Regulus asked as he moved to give his best friend a quick hug.
Mary gave a wide smile and turned to her wife. “Nope. We are staying in today. Now Pandora and I must be going. We have a wife we need to get to. Don’t want to leave her waiting.”
Regulus made a face and turned away from the girls. “Okay I do not need to know any more details about your evening. Have fun I guess and be safe.”
Mary winked and said “Oh we will. Bye boys!” And with that they both went back through the floo to their home.
James moved Harry from off his chest to look at him. “Well Harry, dad has some things he needs to do today.” He could see Harry start to deflate. “But how would you feel about spending the day with Padfoot, Moony and Wormy at the zoo?” Harry immediately perked up and clapped his hands excitedly.
“Yes yes! Go to the zoo! Nighty are you coming?” Harry turned to Regulus. Nightshade had been Regulus’s official Marauders nickname. Regulus slightly resented being named after a poisonous flower but once they all saw his black cat animagus, no other name fit better. Especially when he would get into fights with local animals, nothing was deadlier than him.
“Sorry prongslet. I’ve got to stay and help your dad here. But when you get back how about we pick a book and your dad and I can read it to you.”
“With the voices? I only like it when you both do the voices.” Harry gave a pleading look between the two of them.
Regulus moved to kneel down in front of where Harry sat on James’s lap. “Of course we will do the voices. In fact I will make sure we warm up our voices while you are at the zoo. Now give your dad one more hug and then go help your uncle’s get snacks in the kitchen.”
“Okay Nighty.” Harry turned to give James a hug then leaned over to hug Regulus as well. He then hopped down and ran towards the kitchen. James knew he had arrived when he heard a chorus of shouts greeting the boy.
“Alright well as soon as they are out of here I am going to draw you a bath, are scents okay today or no?” This is something that was a regular occurrence. Regulus would notice that James was getting overwhelmed, get him out of any commitments and then draw him a bath. Regulus had been doing this since James’s sixth year when Regulus caught him having a full blown meltdown in the quidditch locker rooms. They had plans to fly for a while but instead Regulus coaxed James into a bath. When James asked why a bath, Regulus said that when he had been living at home, a bath was his escape. No one would ever bother you during a bath.
“No scents day. I am going to go see them off, thank you.” James gave Regulus a small smile and then headed to the kitchen.
After getting the last of Harry’s things together, James saw them all off from the front porch. Him and Harry didn’t stop waving until Peter’s car made the final turn away from view. James was sad to see his son leave after just getting him but knew it was probably for the best. James gave one final look at the now empty street and turned to go and find Regulus.
James found him in the ensuite bathroom in his room. There was a massive tub that James only ever used when Regulus initiated the need for a bath. James couldn’t get everything right like Regulus did so he gave up ever drawing one himself a long time ago.
“Okay Potter drop your trousers and get in. I expect to not see you for at least another hour. I will be downstairs, actually going through the potions room.” As Regulus moved to leave, James grabbed his arm to stop him.
“Stay?” James never asked Regulus to stay with him but today James didn’t want to be alone. “I will keep my pants on and everything, just please, don't go.” James watched a small battle in Regulus’s gorgeous eyes and saw as the side that was going to stay won.
“I will stay. But I do expect you to keep those pants on. I’ve accidentally seen too much over the years and do not need to see any more.” Regulus turned so his back was now facing James. James chuckled and started to remove everything but his pants. Regulus kept his back to him until he heard James fully settle into the bath. Regulus walked over and sat down next to James on the floor so their heads were next to each other.
“So do you want to talk about it or would you rather hear about the going down at the apothecary?”
“Drama please.” So Regulus spent the next 30 minutes telling James all about what was going down at the business he owned. Apparently some of the employees had a love triangle happening and it was interfering with their performance and Regulus was just about done with it.
“I mean love triangles are so pointless. Just date each other. Stop letting the monogamous mindset get in the way of what could possibly be a great relationship. I swear I am going to knock some sense into those idiots. Maybe I should have Pandora come by and tell the story of her and her wives. Maybe that will help.” The entire time Regulus was ranting, James couldn’t tear his eyes off him. James would take any and all opportunities to just stare at Regulus. He was the most beautiful thing James has ever seen. He never wanted to stop looking at him.
“James, you are staring again.” But James didn’t stop looking. He kept up his mission of memorizing every inch of Regulus’s face. He wanted to know where every freckle was, how many curls touched his face, the exact shade of his eyes. Then James did something stupid.
“I’m in love with you.”
James felt the panic start to set in. Why would he say that? He was going to lose the greatest friendship that he had ever had (don’t tell Sirius he said that). James hung his head as he waited for the inevitable rejection and his official placement in the friend zone. After several moments of silence he lifted his head to sneak a quick look at Regulus. But instead of disgust on his face, James instead saw the biggest, most amazing smile he had ever seen in his entire life.
“I know James. I’ve just been waiting for you to finally tell me.”
“Wait, you knew? Since when?”
“Since about 2 weeks ago when the staring began. You have only ever looked at one other person like that and that was Lily.”
James was absolutely dumbfounded. “So, I am assuming this is the part where you tell me we are better as friends and we can never happen.”
“No James this is the part where I tell you I have been in love with you since I met you and I am now going to do what I have been wanting to do since I was 12.” Regulus started to lean forwards and go so close James could see the little flecks of gold in his eyes.
“And what is that?”
“I am going to kiss you James.” And he did. It was like his entire universe exploded in light. His chest filled with pure joy and elation. James pulled on Regulus until he got the message and climbed, still fully clothed into the bath and onto James’s lap. They kissed for what felt like a perfect eternity. Finally Regulus pulled away and they stared into each other's eyes.
“I’m sorry you had to wait so long.”
“It’s okay. I knew you needed time to catch up. I have no regrets on how it all turned out.”
Eventually they moved out of the bathroom and into dry clothes. They spent the rest of the day curled up on James’s bed talking about everything and nothing. Of course there was some more snogging but it all stayed innocent. There would be time later to explore one another. For now James just wanted to hold onto his star and never let go.