When the morning came
We were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf
‘Cause we lost track of time again
Laughing with my feet in your lap
Like you were my closest friend
Mary was practically bouncing in place with excitement. She had been amazed when she received a letter explaining that she was a witch, and had the invitation to attend a seemingly prestigious witch school. Though her parents had been hesitant for her to go, they had finally conceded to her begging. She had bought all of her supplies-including a wand!-and was ready to learn everything she could about being a witch. She couldn’t even find it in herself to be nervous as she stood with all the other first years, waiting to be told where she’d spend her next seven years. She followed along with everyone else, spacing out a little bit until she heard her name called.
Mary walked up to the stool, sitting down primly and jolting a bit in surprise when her eyes were covered by the Sorting Hat. It was barely on her head before it yelled out “GRYFFINDOR!” and was removed right after. She walked over to the table that was cheering the loudest, sitting down next to a girl with really pretty red hair that was named Lily.
She talked with Lily for most of the meal, Lily finding the boys in their year annoying already and Mary just more entertained by her conversation with Lily than she was by the boys practically climbing all over themselves and talking loud enough to be classified as screaming. They only stopped their conversation when they were shown how to get to their common room, and their dorms, and then they were right back at it. There was another girl in the dorm with them, Marlene McKinnon, that Mary knew would become a good friend as well, but her connection with Lily was different. The two finally went to sleep in the early hours of the morning, both still giggling quietly to themselves.
As she shut her eyes, Mary couldn’t help but thinking she finally had a best friend.
“How’d we end up on the floor, anyway?” You say
“Your roommate’s cheap ass screw-top rose, that’s how”
I see you every day now
“Oi, Evans, you gonna spin that or should I spin it for you?” Sirius Black yelled, leaning over Remus Lupin and squinting drunkenly over at Lily.
Lily rolled her eyes, the firewhiskey in her system leaving her rather loose and relaxed. She leaned forward and lazily spun the bottle around. “Keep your head on Sirius, I’m spinning it right now.”
The other people in their year loved the idea of Spin the Bottle, the muggle game being one only Mary, Lily, and Remus had ever heard of before tonight. They had all demanded they play, and Sirius had slyly pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey to get everyone on board. It was the middle of their sixth year, and despite the reservations everyone felt, they all got along like they were written to.
Mary watched intently, or as intently as she could with the alcohol she had consumed making her head spin. She watched as the bottle slowed right at James Potter, much to his delight, and continued to spin until it stopped-right in front of her. She swallowed thickly and looked up at Lily, raising an eyebrow to seem unaffected despite her heart trying to bang out of her chest. Lily was grinning at her and leaned crawled forward until she was hovering over Mary, who had leaned back slightly to accommodate. “Well, Evans, you gonna kiss me or should I-“
Mary was cut off by the softest pair of lips connecting with hers, a just as soft hand coming up to cup her cheek. She lifted a hand of her own up to hold onto Lily’s hip, her other hand behind her to help balance the both of them. Mary felt everything slot together then, all of the times she had wanted Lily to pay attention to her, the way she lit up whenever the redhead would smile at her. This was what she wanted, how could she not have known before now?
They could’ve been kissing for seconds or hours, and they only broke apart when Sirius’ yelling got too loud to ignore. Lily pulled back, only enough to look into Mary’s eyes, and froze there for a moment before pushing herself back into her spot. “There.”
Everyone laughed and after a couple of rounds-Peter kissing Marlene, which they both hated, and Remus kissing Sirius, which they both did not hate-before they decided to call it a night. The three girls leaned against each other as they stumbled to the dorms, giggling and shoving one another. Marlene genuinely fell into the bed, and in seconds was snoring, which caused the other two to laugh so hard they ended up sprawled on top of each other on the floor.
“How’d we end up on the floor?” Lily asked once they’d gotten ahold of themselves.
“Sirius fucking Black and his firewhiskey that’s how.” Mary groaned, which set the two of them off again.
When they finally collected themselves again, Mary was laying down with her head in Lily’s lap, and Lily was leaning over her clutching her stomach. It put the two of them with their faces very close together, and they seemed to realize it at the same time. They sobered up quickly, Lily’s breath hitched, and she cupped Mary’s cheek the same way she had downstairs. “I want to kiss you again.”
Mary wanted her to kiss her again, so badly, but she was just on the right side of drunk to realize that it would be a bad idea. “Tell me that in the morning, Lil, and I’m yours.”
And in the morning, when they both confessed their feelings and desires, kiss they did, Marlene still snoring away in her bed.
And I chose you
The one I was dancing with in New York, no shoes
Looked up at the sky and it was
The burgundy on my t-shirt
When you splashed wine into me
And how the blood rushed into my cheeks
So scarlet, it was
The mark they saw on my collarbone
The rust that grew between telephones
The lips I used to call home
So scarlet, it was maroon
“Oh, shit, Lily-“ Mary gasped, holding onto her girlfriend by the hips and throwing her head back onto the pillow.
They had the dorm to themselves while Marlene was at Quidditch practice, and as soon as she was gone Lily had straddled Mary’s hips and pinned her to the bed, latching her lips onto her neck. She had sucked a particularly rough bruise onto Mary’s collarbone, and her hand was slowly trailing down to the waistband of Mary’s skirt when the door was thrown open.
“I forgot my-oh, holy fuck!” Marlene’s shocked voice broke the two apart, Lily jolting to the other side of Mary’s bed and the pair staring at Marlene with panicked eyes.
Marlene ended up being late to Quidditch practice-James was captain and Head Boy, she thought it was fine if she was late to one practice-so Mary and Lily could explain everything to her. The secret Hogsmeade dates, the relationship that blossomed from that spin the bottle game in their sixth year, the love the two held for each other. Marlene had hugged them both and expressed how proud she was of the two of them, and then left with a wink and a suggestion for them to be done by the time she got back.
A couple hours later and the two of them were tangled up in Mary’s bed, Lily’s head resting on her chest and Mary playing with the auburn hair she loved so much. They were basking in each other, in the love they felt for one another, and Mary couldn’t imagine anything else she’d rather do. “Move in with me.” She broke the quiet, the words bursting from her before she could stop them.
“What?” Lily asked in surprise, shifting so she could look up and into Mary’s eyes.
“After we graduate.” Mary clarified. “I can’t imagine anything better than lying with you, like this, every night, and waking up with you beside me.”
Lily grinned and rolled over, kissing all over Mary’s face. “I’d love to.”
Suffice it to say, they were not done when Marlene came back.
When the silence came
We were shaking, blind and hazy
How the hell did we lose sight of us again?
Sobbing with your head in your hands
Ain’t that the way shit always ends?
“What do you want me to do, Lily?” Mary shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.
“Something! Merlin, anything, Mary! People are dying out there, and we’re staying here, pretending nothing is going on around us?” Lily screamed back.
“Exactly! People are dying, Lily, and I don’t want to be one of them.”
“So, you’re just going to what, hide away? Do nothing to help anyone else? Fuck, Mary, they’re killing people. They are killing people because of their blood status, blood status we happen to share, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Of fucking course, I haven’t forgotten, Lily, how could I?” Mary whirled around, smacking her hand down on the table between them. “Obviously I know why they’re killing people, people just like me, like us, and I don’t want to be next!”
Lily was crying, her chest heaving as angry tears spilled down her flush cheeks. “I refuse to stand aside, to hide away as people, as our friends, are risking their lives out there. I won’t do it!”
“Then leave, by all means, go out and fight, but I won’t be joining you.” The words burst from Mary before she could stop them.
You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway
Carnations you had thought were roses, that’s us
I feel you, no matter what
The rubies that I gave up
There was a heavy silence between them as the words sunk in. Both girls were panting, from anger, from fear, from grief. They couldn’t agree on this, both of them too stubborn to change their minds. Neither of them were in the wrong here, they just couldn’t agree on the best course of action, and it was that that broke them.
“Mary…I have to. I have to fight, and I know you don’t want to. I won’t force you to, but I need to.” Lily’s voice was broken, the tears in her eyes now more of sadness than anger.
“I know.” Mary whispered in return, tears gathering on her eyelashes as well.
“I love you, and if things work out how I’m hoping, we can come back to this, okay?” Lily walked forward, pressing a kiss to Mary’s forehead.
Mary was frozen, barely holding herself together. She broke when the sharp crack of Disapparation rang through their flat, her flat, just Mary’s now. She turned and put her fist through the wall, sinking to the floor and dissolving into sobs. Just wishing things were different.
And I lost you
The one I was dancing with in New York, no shoes
Looked up at the sky and it was
The burgundy on my t-shirt
When you splashed wine into me
And how the blood rushed into my cheeks
So scarlet, it was
The mark they saw on my collarbone
The rust that grew between telephones
The lips I used to call home
So scarlet, it was maroon
Mary stared down at the invitation in her shaking hands, the calligraphy haunting her.
You are cordially invited to the wedding of James Potter and Lily Evans
She felt like she couldn’t breathe, the walls closing in around her. It felt like days since Lily had left, though in reality it had been years. She knew it was a possibility that Lily would fall in love with someone else but knowing it and seeing the proof were different things. She sat down at the table, clutching the invitation tightly and just trying to breathe through the ache in her chest.
Mary had avoided the Wizarding World for the last few years since she left Hogwarts. She hadn’t had any contact with her friends since Lily left, and she hadn’t been in contact with her parents either. She couldn’t bare it if she lost any of them, so she lost herself instead.
Mary stared at the invitation for a little bit longer, giving herself just a small amount of time to grieve, and then she ripped it up, throwing it in her garbage bin and doing her best to forget about it. And when the day of the wedding came, she curled up in her bed and cried herself to sleep.
A few months later, she received a letter from Lily. The letter spoke about her being pregnant, and how Lily would love nothing more than for her son to know Mary. She spoke about how Marlene was gone, and Mary was the only person she had left. Mary cried while reading it, cried for her lost friend, cried for everything going on, cried for Lily. And then she lit the letter on fire and cried some more.
And I wake with your memory over me
That’s a real fucking legacy, legacy
And I wake with your memory over me
That’s a real fucking legacy, to leave
When Mary heard the news of the war being over, she was ecstatic. She could find her friends, she could find her parents, she could go back! When she heard the news of the Potter boy being the savior, she wasn’t surprised. He had James Potter, the man with the world’s biggest hero complex, as a father, and Lily Evans as a mother. Of course, he’d be brilliant.
When she heard of how Harry Potter had managed to save the day, she was devastated.
Mary had never before felt hurt like she did when she heard Lily had died to save her son. It was like her entire world had dimmed, pain shooting through every part of her body. Her knees hit the floor, her magic lashing out in a way it never had before. Every dish in her house exploded, every picture frame cracked, every lightbulb burst as she let out a scream of pure anguish. She cried, unmoving, for hours, before forcing herself up. She fixed all that had been broken, put all the glass back together, straightened all the frames.
She paused when she got to a picture that she couldn’t bare to throw away. It was one Marlene had taken. Lily was laying on her back, a book held loosely in one hand, the other hand running through Mary’s hair. Mary was lying in her lap, her eyes closed, and a huge smile on her face. Lily’s head was thrown back in a laugh, her dimples on full display.
Mary clutched the picture to her chest and cried some more.
The burgundy on my t-shirt
When you splashed wine into me
And how the blood rushed into my cheeks
So scarlet, it was
The mark they saw on my collarbone
The rust that grew between telephones
The lips I used to call home
So scarlet, it was maroon
When Mary heard that Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort, truly, she practically collapsed. She was so proud of him, so proud of a boy she could never bring herself to meet. She found the strength to leave her flat for the first time in a long time, so she made her way to where she knew Lily was buried. She sat beside the grave for a long time, hours at least, in silence, before she finally decided to speak to Lily. She spoke about all of her regrets, everything she had done and why she had done it. She spoke about the pride she felt for Lily, even in her death, for being the bravest person she ever met. She spoke about how she hated herself for letting Lily leave, how that was and would always be her greatest regret.
“I’ll never regret loving you, though, Lily, because despite all the pain it’s brought me, it’s also the greatest joy I was given.”
Before she could say anything else, she heard a throat clearing behind her. She looked up to see a boy, a man, standing there. He was the spitting image of James, yes, that was obvious, but she could see Lily in him so clearly as well. “Sorry, um, you knew my mum?”
Mary couldn’t help it. For the first time since Lily had left her all those years ago, she laughed, and she felt something heavy and dark lift off of her chest.