Chapter 6
Once 5 pm rolled around, there were eight people seated in Lucifer's classroom. Fred and George were no surprise to anyone. Like Harry, Luna's detentions were merely for being herself. Turns out, Umbridge did not take kindly to questions about the Nargles swarming around her. Neville's detention was technically assigned by Snape to be served with Umbridge. No one knew what Ginny had done and they didn't want to ask. Ron and Hermione were just along for the ride, courtesy of Professor Morningstar.
"Anyone else joining us tonight?" Lucifer's question was directed at the Twins.
"Nope, the others had once-off detentions. We are the overachieving lot that got a week's worth," Harry responded in their stead
"Right. There's no point in goofing off so let's go," Lucifer clapped his hands and motioned to the door.
"Uhm. Where exactly are we going?" That was Neville's hesitant question
"The Forbidden Forest, of course." Lucifer appeared very pleased with himself as he led his group out of the castle and through the Forest. He finally stopped about a quarter way in, pushing through some hedges to bring them into a clearing surrounded by thick foliage.
"Please tell me this isn't the part where you try to kill us?"
Lucifer appeared slightly concerned, "Are murderous teachers that common here?"
The answer was a resounding yes.
Lucifer wisely moved on. The students had their wands out to provide meager lighting, but that wouldn't do at all.
Fred, George, Harry, Neville, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Luna gazed in fascinated awe as their Professor let orbs of light float into the air. The balls bobbed gently before they found their places to remain still.
"Let's duel, shall we?" Lucifer said once he felt his lighting was sufficient.
The eight of them banded together on one end, leaving Lucifer alone at the other. Harry fired the first spell yelling, "Expelliarmus."
The spells passed harmlessly as the man in question dodged, ducked, and dove to avoid being hit from 8 different directions.
Lucifer changed tactics and went on the offensive, yanking a branch off a tree to use as a mock staff. He leaped in front of Ron, waiting for Fred's Incarcerous to be hurled in that direction, and then he ducked. He pulled George into the path of Ginny's Bat-Bogey hex and dropped to his knees to let Ginny and Luna's spells pass over him to take them both out.
He used the staff for batting away a Stupefy in Fred's direction and heard the thump to signify its effectiveness.
And then there were three. Hermione had a shield that let her last as long as she had. Neville was crouched under a hedge, trying desperately to land a hit. Harry was undoubtedly in a tree. It explained some of the impossible angles he had seen spellfire coming from.
Lucifer ran at Hermione. She did exactly what he would expect; dropping her shield to land what she thought would be a direct hit. Instead, Lucifer threw himself to the ground and rolled violently to the side.
Harry's body bind caught Hermione before she could get a Shield up again, and Lucifer willed himself invisible.
To Harry and Neville, Professor Morningstar had just disappeared. Cautiously, the two returned to the open, brushing off their clothes as they walked.
"How do we fight someone invisible?" Neville muttered
"Make them visible," Harry retorted as he started firing paint jinxes in every direction.
Lucifer was suitably impressed, but it was time to end this. The two boys were standing back-to-back, splattering paint across the clearing, hoping to find Lucifer.
Lucifer pictured their wands and pulled at the magic, simultaneously dropping his disillusionment. The wands came to a rest in Lucifer's hand, and he grinned.
He held onto the wands long enough to assert his victory and then tossed them back to their owners.
"If you'd do the honours," Lucifer instructed as he gestured to the others. Neville and Harry nodded in unison as they split up.
A couple of Rennervates, counter-curses, and cleaning spells later, the eight were right as rain and sprawled on the Forest floor.
"What the bloody hell was that," Ron exclaimed
"Practical Defence, don't you think?" Lucifer answered with an exaggerated bow
"Detention should prevent repeat offences, not encourage it." That was Ginny's take on the matter.
"Trust me; if I believed you deserved it, you would regret it."
"Will we be back here tomorrow, Lord of Hell?"
Lucifer turned his gaze to the blonde-haired girl with bright blue eyes that seemed to see more than what was apparent.
"I don't know," Lucifer said finally. He needed to see Umbridge's reaction to his detention manoeuvre.
He followed the students back to the castle, catching snippets of the Trio's hushed conversation. The name Sirius had made it to his ears, and he wondered why they were on a first-name basis with a supposed murderer.
He made sure that the group reached their common room safely and was heading toward his own room when Minerva approached him.
"Mr. Morningstar, a word," Minerva's face was blank, but her eyes betrayed her, filled with worry, concern, and annoyance
"I'd be delighted, Minerva," Lucifer dutifully followed the Head of House to her office.
"Please explain why my Gryffindors did not attend Umbridge's detentions?"
"What makes you think I am involved?"
Minerva's glare was answer enough.
"Umbridge is a disgusting excuse for a human being. She is lucky I didn't do worse," Lucifer's expression was dark and dangerous
"You cannot just cancel detentions assigned by another teacher," Minerva said with a sigh
"Ah. Good thing I didn't cancel it then. They served detention with me instead." Lucifer had always loved a good loophole.
"Mr. Morningstar, antagonising Umbridge could have repercussions for you,"
"Minerva, darling. I'd love to see her try," And with those parting words, Lucifer left. Mercifully, he ran into no one else and managed to get dinner from Helly, the elf.
The morning had come, and Lucifer knew that Umbridge was watching him whenever she thought he was unaware. He didn't care. He ate breakfast in the Great Hall and even stopped to chat with a few students on his way out.
Later, a huffing Neville Longbottom showed up at his classroom, thrusting a sheet of paper into his hands. So that's how she was playing this, he thought as he scanned the text of Educational Decree Number Twenty-Three.
He turned to Neville, "No need to concern ourselves with a turd on a power trip."
Neville laughed at his Professor's description and turned to leave. He stopped suddenly and turned back, "Rumour has it that the High-Inquisitor will sit in on all classes to ensure the teaching is up to the Ministry standard."
Lucifer's eyes sparkled, and Neville was a tiny bit concerned.
Lucifer consulted his timetable and found, to his utter delight, that his next class would be with the fifth-year Gryffindors and Slytherins.
"Mr. Longbottom, tell your class to play along," Lucifer said cryptically as he headed out toward the Library.
The Ministry feared an army being built at Hogwarts, that much he could see. But, to actively stifle their education was a tad evil. Regardless, Lucifer planned to have Madam Umbridge so focused on him that she would forget all about the students. He was immortal and the King of Hell. He could play ball.
It was their first class outdoors, and most of the Gryffindor fifth-years were glancing around in anticipation. Four of them had expected a sneak attack, but their Professor appeared to be waiting on someone.
The groan was inevitable when they caught a glimpse of pink coming toward them.
"Hem, hem," Umbridge cleared her throat but avoided eye contact with Lucifer.
"Yes, Madam Umbridge?" He asked sweetly
"A class should be taught in a classroom."
"Ah. But, Madam, this is Practical Application of Defence. The world is our classroom." Lucifer's voice was giddy, and it had Ron's spine stiffening. Something was afoot; he knew it.
"There is no need to practice Defence. The Ministry will keep you safe." Umbridge had begun her usual lecture, but this time, Lucifer cut in with his own, "Hem, hem."
"Today's lesson is the practical application of defence against drowning. Now, who can tell me what that might be?" Lucifer's face remained blank, and his students tried valiantly to respond as thoughtfully as they could.
"Mr. Thomas," Lucifer called
Dean Thomas had raised his hand, so he answered hesitantly, "Swimming?"
"Brilliant. Yes, swimming is a possible defence against drowning. Five points to Gryffindor." Lucifer complimented them before he waved them toward the Black Lake.
"Madam Umbridge has pointed out that the Ministry wishes to keep you all safe. Perhaps as a representative of the Ministry, Madam Umbridge would like to show you how to prevent death in water without practicing the recommended defence." His grin was calm and calculating as he ushered Dolores to the front.
"Defence against drowning," Umbridge said hesitantly.
"Yes, it is a true problem for many. As many as 64% of children could die around bodies of water." Lucifer was the picture of a concerned adult.
Hermione snorted but quickly disguised it as a cough. That statistic was about as real as a cauldron of Leprechaun's gold.
"Perhaps, you should continue your lesson then. What other defenses will you be teaching?" Dolores asked, trying to turn the subject to anything else.
"Well, let's ask the class," Lucifer opened the floor to suggestions, and Ron was called on first, "Defence against choking, Sir."
Lucifer nodded, "Excellent. Mr. Malfoy. How about you?"
"Defence against mud-" Draco was cut off by Harry, who interjected with, "Ferrets."
Lucifer rolled with it, "Defence against ferrets is vital. Many illnesses can be traced back to rodents of all kinds."
Dolores seemed to get the gist, "Continue, Professor Morningstar. It appears you are well informed."
And with that Dolores Umbridge left as quickly as she could. Lucifer gave his class a wink and encouraged them to practice their anti-drowning measures. It started with things like stunning each other before they got to the Lake and summoning each other from the Lake but eventually devolved into swimming and splashing.