I love you, it's ruining my life
Delilah
Around two in the morning, Mattheo and I decided to retreat back to his dorm for the night. We were both generously drunk, and barely made it up the stairs. I stumbled into his bathroom to take a shower, but stopped when I saw a dark green paper sticking out from a drawer. I opened it to find an envelope that was once sealed with black wax left on the counter, ripped open messily. I raised my eyebrow, as I recognized the envelope as the ones Mattheo’s parents would send him.
I locked the bathroom door behind me before removing the contents from the envelope and reading.
My son,
This letter is to be destroyed after reading. I am writing to inform you that your presence is required at the Riddle Manor on December 15th. You are forbidden to inform anyone of this. You will not return until after the holidays. It’s time for you to become one of us, as we discussed. Do not embarrass me.
Your mother will be writing soon to give you instruction on leaving the castle.
Father
My heart hammered in my chest, blood rushing to my ears. How long has he known? How long has he known that he is going to be marked early? Couldn’t he have at least told me that?
Picking up the letter with a shaky breath, I unlocked the bathroom door and walked over to Mattheo’s bed where he was leaned against his headboard with a book.
“I didn’t hear the shower love, are you-” I saw the blood drain from his face when he saw the envelope in my hand. “Shit.” He breathed.
“What the fuck Mattheo? Couldn’t have hidden the envelope a bit better?” I choked, throwing the letter at him. “How long have you known, hm? A month, two?” I challenged.
“Why did you read this? You had no right, Delilah.” He snapped, tone cold.
“I know. And I’m sorry, but you’re avoiding the question. We were supposed to wait. We agreed, love.”
“I understand we agreed.” He said quietly. “But my father is in charge, what he says goes.”
“That still doesn’t help me understand why you didn’t tell me.”
“God, you really don’t understand my position here. I’m not in charge here, he is.” Mattheo said, standing up and raking his fingers through his sweaty curls.
We were both deathly sober now.
“Mattheo, I’m not mad that it’s happening. That’s great. Congratulations on being the new fucking Dark Lord. No, I’m angry because you didn’t fucking tell me. You lied.” I said, taking a step forward.
“I didn’t fucking lie to you! I couldn’t tell you! What part of that do you not understand? I can’t win Delilah!” His voice cracking at the end.
“Bullshit, you could’ve told me. He wouldn’t have known.”
“You really think I’m gonna take that risk? Never, I love you too much to risk that. I’m his son. His flesh and blood. He would know, and he wouldn’t hesitate to kill you.” His words were like a slap in the face, but they didn’t surprise me all that much either. It wasn’t a secret that Voldemort spared nobody based on rank. I might be the love of his son's life, but the moment I pose a threat to his cause, I’m just another wizard to kill in cold blood.
“You said we would do this together, Mattheo. As a team.”
“I fucking know I said that, but things change. I’m getting marked early, that’s final.” He said, grabbing his pajamas. “I’m taking a shower, you should go back to your room.” He finishes, starting towards the bathroom.
“You’re fucking selfish, Riddle.”
He stops in his tracks, and turns around slowly.
“What the fuck did you just say?” He asks quietly, and I stare at him with a fixed expression.
“I said you’re selfish.”
And he starts laughing.
A cruel, cold laugh that hurts my ears. Reminds me of nails on a chalkboard.
“I’m selfish? Really?” He asks, shaking his head and looking down. A pause. “Everything I do. Everything that I will do. Everything I have done. All. For. You.” He walks towards me until we’re chest to chest, and he looks down at me with a sneer. “All of it, Nott. So excuse me for fucking protecting you. Forgive me for keeping a few secrets because I love you too much TO LET MY FUCKING FATHER KILL YOU!” He seethes, breathing hard. “I'm so disgustingly in love with you, and it's ruining my fucking life.”
“Mattheo-”
“Get the fuck out.” He growled.
“Fuck you.” That was the last thing I said before storming out, slamming the door behind me.
I saw Draco frozen in place in the hall, staring. I just turned and walked down the stairs for another drink.
The party wasn’t going anymore, but there was still plenty of alcohol, so I grabbed a mostly untouched bottle of flavored muggle vodka and left the dungeons, making a beeline for the lake. I sat on the edge in the grass, taking gulps of alcohol and listening to the ambience of the night.
“Didn’t peg you for the type to be drinking alone.” I heard a familiar voice from behind me say, and I groaned.
“Merlin, what the fuck do you want now, Potter?” I snapped, slurring a few words.
“Nothing, I'm just taking a walk.” He shrugged and I snorted.
“Right. A walk at 2 in the morning. Checks out for you.”
I offered the bottle to him, and he hesitantly took it after a few moments, taking a swig.
“You and Riddle have a spat?” He asked, and I rolled my eyes.
“Why do you care?” Another swig. I felt myself become lighter and lighter.
“I don’t.” He said quickly.
We were silent for a while after that, Potter only having a few more sips while I finished off the bottle. The way he looked at me was interesting. Like he was desperately trying to put the puzzle that is my thoughts together. I hated how it felt, like I was a sample under Potter’s microscope. So I kept drinking, and soon enough I felt myself drifting into thoughtless bliss.
Blaise
I swear, my head is already pounding and whatever asshole is on the other side of that portrait is about to have his head slammed in a table.
“What the-” I start, but I cut myself off as soon as I saw Delilah, drunk off her ass, clinging to Harry fucking Potter of all people. “Merlin, Delilah.” I groaned, taking her from Potter.
“Found her at the Lake. Just wanted to make sure she got back safe, she can’t even walk.” He said, nervously shifting his weight.
“Yeah, um…Cheers Potter. I owe you one.” I said, shutting the portrait and looking down at the sleeping girl I see as my sister.
Fucking hell. She and Mattheo probably had another fight. He hoped it wouldn’t be this way again this year, after they got some help over the summer and seemed happy. But I guess not, and chances are, Mattheo is just as trashed right now. I carried her upstairs, using my foot to knock on her dormitory door.
“What do you want?” I heard Pansy groan.
“It’s Blaise, I have Dee.”
I heard shuffling and soon enough Pansy opened the door, wide eyed when she saw the state her best friend was in.
“Shit, again? I thought they were doing better.”
“So did I.” I said, walking into the room and placing Delilah on her bed. I heard a curtain open and noticed Enzo and Natalia curled up in her small bed. Enzo was wide awake, watching with concern as he cradled a sleeping Natalia to his bare chest. I just sighed and shook my head. He nodded in understanding and gave me a sad smile before closing the curtains again.
Pansy transfigured Delilah’s costume into a tank top and sweats, conjuring water into a glass that was on the nightstand, and tucked her in, stroking her hair comfortingly.
“I got her, get some sleep B.” Pansy said, giving me a smile and I nodded, kissing Delilah's temple and leaving the room, shutting the door behind me quietly.
Now, it was time to enter the snake pit.
I walked in the dorm, noticing that Mattheos curtains were drawn. Draco sat on his bed reading, While Theo laid passed out on the floor next to Mattheo’s bed.
Draco looked over, noticing Theo's seemingly uncomfortable position and conjured a blanket over him and a pillow under his head.
“It was bad. He was bad.” Draco said. “Theo had to sit there and just talk about random shit so he wouldn’t spin out because of his own thoughts. I don’t know what the fuck happened. They were in here for 5 minutes before Dee stormed back out.”
“They were drunk out of their minds, the problem probably seemed way bigger than it actually was.”
“They need help. They’re fucking with eachother’s heads.”
I sighed, sliding a hand down my face.
“Yeah, I know.”