James lifts his hand towards the door, once again debating whether to actually knock or not. He has been standing outside the apartment for almost 10 minutes and he doesn’t even know what he’s so nervous about. This is just Remus who he has known since he was 11 years old.
This is just Remus he’s trying to check on, after a couple hours since he returned from his exchange year. Remus who he hasn’t seen in about a year and he has missed more than he thought he would.
In the end, the door opens before he can even knock, and he’s left standing in front of his friend.
“James?” Remus asks, there’s surprise in his voice but James can see the immediate joy in his eyes.
He throws Remus his best smile, not even trying to hide how happy he is to see him again.
“What are you…?” James interrupts Remus half way through his sentence with a tight hug. It’s quickly reciprocated by the taller man, and they both linger in each other's arms a little longer than they normally would.
“I thought I’d come see you before we met everyone else tonight.” James tells him as he lets go.
“It’s good to see you, Potter.” Remus tells him in response. He takes a step back and gestures with his hand to indicate James to come inside.
James does and he follows the known path into Remus’ kitchen, where they all have been countless times.
Remus stands by the door looking at the way James moves familiarly around his place with a fond smile on him.
“I brought you something.” Remus tells him, walking out into his room.
James stays in the kitchen and starts making some coffee for the both of them, until Remus returns with a small package in his hands.
“Aw, thought of me when in Berlin?”
James says it with a hint of humor, but when he looks up Remus is dead serious as he says his response.
“Everyday, Potter.”
He feels his smile growing, unable to stop himself.
“Well, open it.” Remus nods at the gift, and James realizes he has just been staring at Remus, instead of the present in his hands.
He shakes his head and starts unwrapping it to see a small box under the wrapping paper. He opens it carefully and finds a pair of lighting McQueen underwear.
James let’s out a loud laugh and looks up at Remus, who breaks out in a laugh as well as soon as they make eye contact.
“Remus I love them! Want me to try them in for you?” Remus shakes his head still laughing.
“James, look underneath that.” Remus says, when he finally manages to stop his laughter.
James blinks at him slightly confused, but ends up taking out the underwear to find a pack of postals, and little stamps from each place Remus visited in this time away.
He takes out one of them and when he looks at the back, it has a small note, he takes another one and it’s the same. They’re all written to him, and they’re all signed with “yours truly, Remus Lupin”.
“Remus…” James looks up, feeling rather emotional over the thoughtfulness of the gift. He can’t really find the words to say.
“I’m glad you stopped by before we go meet everyone else.”
Remus moves slightly closer to him, and there it is. There’s that warm fuzzy feeling that James felt over and over during the last couple months before Remus left.
“Yeah, I guess I wanted to have a small moment to ourselves first.” James offers him a smile, as he continues to look down at the postals. He softly runs his finger over the signature a couple times.
“I meant that. Everytime.” Remus says, in a much softer voice than James is used to hear.
James feels his heartbeat very high in his throat and he can feel every thump inside his chest. He thinks of that one night two weeks before Remus left, when they kissed and then acted like nothing happened, because he was leaving.
But now he’s here, right in front of him. Oh and James missed him.
“You meant what, Remus?” James adventures. He puts the box down, and moves slightly closer to Remus.
Their knees are touching and Remus’ brown eyes look down at the contact point, before they come back up to meet with James’.
“That signature. ‘Yours truly’. I meant it in every postcard I wrote you.”
Remus moved his hand silently, until the tips of his fingers are now also touching James’. Two touching points between them now, and 10 years of memories behind the both of them.
“Why did you kiss me that night?” James asks softly, without breaking eye contact with him.
“I wanted to. And I had to know if you wanted me too.”
“I did.” James tells him in reply.
“Do you still do?” Remus asks, and James’ heart makes and entire flip inside him. He looks at Remus and he thinks of how much he has always adored to look at him.
Over their nights studying or staying up late talking. The nights were they drunk together and the ones where they cried with one another. They’ve had an entire lifetime and James still loves looking at him more than he loves looking at anything else.
“I still do, Remus. I never stopped.”
Remus’ eyes brighten up immediately and James give him a playful smile before leaning in to close the distance that he so badly wanted to close all over the last year.
James remembers kissing Remus that one time, he went over it many many times in their time apart. But James’ memory didn’t do Remus’ lips any real justice, Remus’ hands, one on his neck to pull him closer and one on his thigh to keep himself grounded.
James feels like there’s absolutely nothing more important now than to be where he is. Because this is Remus, his Remus who he has loved for longer than he had even acknowledged it. Remus who is now kissing him like he wanted to do for years, where they didn’t realize how they felt.
Remus who he has missed with every fiber in him, but who is finally in his arms after such a long time of being apart.
They break the kiss, and Remus brings their foreheads together, and they breathe in sync. James can’t believe he spent so much time missing him, but he’s just glad to have him back in his arms now.
James moves until he’s wrapped around Remus’ arms, and they lay down on the couch just listening to each other breathe.
James has always been a happy person, but he can’t think of any moment in his life that compares to being lovingly cradled by Remus Lupin, after having him say that he’s always wanted you too.
Maybe James can be even happier now, because now he is where he has always belonged.