Nara Aya

Nara Aya Part 1

A young child, no older than seven, laughed happily as a big deer nuzzled his face under his mother’s amused gaze. The sun filtering through the leaves filled the clearing with a myriad of orange and brown shades.

The animal, deceptively delicate looking, chuffed and buried its muzzle in the boy’s hair, receiving a put upon glare from said child and a giggle from the woman sitting against a tree nearby.

A slight breeze run through the forest, ruffling their equally black hair and the deer’s brown coat. All sound cut off abruptly, the animal raising its head and tensing as if ready to spring away at a moment’s notice.

Something was wrong and the little boy noticed.

He turned just as a shadow fell upon them, something metallic glinting in the sunlight and coming towards him. A hard nuzzle from the deer at his back made him fall forward and the shadow went over his head as the child hit the ground hard.

He heard a strange bellow from the brown beast that had nuzzled him out of the way before it cut off abruptly.

His mind was unusually blank as he scrambled to get up and away from the middle of the clearing, but there was another unknown person. He recognised them as shinobi, missing nin from Iwa if he remembered his lessons correctly. The same glint from before revealed a kunai, but it missed him when it was launched, his body having moved without his permission.

There were sounds of fighting coming from behind him, but he dared not look for its source. He was frozen in fear as the enemy shinobi narrowed his eyes and his hands formed a chain of seals his sight couldn’t follow.

His body once more moved without his permission and he was sprinting towards the forest, but his movements were clumsy and he tripped, hitting the ground hard. Looking back, he saw a thin shadow ripping away from his own and returning back to where a woman was fending off the other shinobi. The other’s hands are still in the shape of the last seal and he watched with wide eyes as spears of stone were launched at him.

“Shikamaru!” the shout was loud and desperate.

Another shadow fell upon him, the woman’s body obscuring his view of the approaching danger. He barely caught sight of green eyes as something wet and warm splattered his face.

The woman, his mother, gathered him up in her arms, and he felt that wet sticky thing seeping into the front of his clothes.

He clung to her, terrified, and buried his face in her neck as she run up a tree. Over her shoulder, he could see a dark heap on the floor ―the man she had been fighting― and another still standing, throwing his hand back, something glinted…

As if sensing the incoming danger, the woman veered off to the side, avoiding the incoming projectile, but in doing so she slipped and they fall. Her body twisted mid-air and the child was above her when her body hit the floor. The deafening sound of the impact echoed across the whole forest.

And then there was more people, surrounding them, protecting them. ANBU. And Naras. The fight was over fast after that.

Shikamaru clung stubbornly to the woman’s body, blind and deaf to the shinobi around them. His mother’s pained green eyes and weak brave smile were all he could see. Her laboured breathing and low muttered reassurances all he could hear.

Someone ―a Nara, his father’s cousin― finally tore him from her side, the child kicking and screaming all the way as he is dragged back. He could still see her face though, turned towards him, her green eyes brimming with tears and a smile tilting up the corners of her lips in what would be reassuring under other circumstances.

Two field medics fluttered urgently around her and he noticed that she was covered in red. So much red. He would eventually notice that so is he, but that would be much, much later.

He was still struggling to get back to her side when the medics loaded her up onto a stretcher, his father’s cousin’s words doing nothing to calm him down.

“L-little fawn.”

The endearment ―her endearment― got through the haze of anger and desperation and so much fear that he was feeling and he froze.

Her right hand was shaking even as it held onto the form of a familiar seal, her shadow having come alive and trapping the medics, holding them in place despite their protests that they must get her to the hospital immediately. She ignored them all, eyes only for her panicking child.

“Aya-sama, you must not delay, you need treatment!”

But the woman ignored her fellow Nara, too.

“Little fawn, it’ll be alright. I need you to be good and strong now. You can do that for me, right?” Shikamaru nodded, tears streaming down his cheeks in steady rivers, and went limp in the older Nara’s arms. She smiled as her eyes closed, her hold on the Shadow-Binding technique slipping as her hand fell back to her chest. “My brave little Shikamaru…”

And Shikamaru watched helplessly as she was whisked away.

HPNHPNHPNHPN

A small bell announced a client’s arrival as the door opened, the smell of flowers heavy and sweet in the air.

Shikamaru walked to the counter with almost silent steps and patiently waited. His hand covered his mouth as it opened in a yawn. The young boy looked around in disinterest until a blond man stepped into the main shop.

“Ah, Shikamaru-kun, back already?” muttered the man, not unkindly.

The Nara Heir answered with a shrug, but Inoichi wasn’t fooled by his apparent boredom. He’d known the young Nara since birth and his father since their own birth; too long to fall for that.

“It’s Sunday, so I guess you’re visiting her again.”

That garnered him a small nod that he saw from the corner of his eye as he settled a small flower arrangement next to the window.

“I’ll have your flowers ready in a moment.”

“Thank you.”

With a nod, Inoichi disappeared into the back room, leaving Shikamaru alone with his thoughts. Not for long, though, as the bell rang again and Ino entered the shop followed by her new pink-haired friend.

“Troublesome.” Muttered the boy under his breath.

The girls were talking about visiting the park, but they stopped to greet him. He answered with a lazy wave of the hand. Then Ino roped him into a discussion about their latest Academy assignment, but Sakura stayed timidly silent, her eyes watching him curiously. He ignored her until Inoichi came back carrying a beautiful bouquet of blue tiger lilies.

“Oh, those are nice.” Said Sakura with a small shy smile. “Are they for your mum?”

There was a moment of silence as Ino looked between her two friends with worry whilst Inoichi carefully observed Shikamaru’s reaction. The boy had tensed up at her question, his eyes unwaveringly on the flowers. Suddenly, he relaxed, the typical lazy Nara air returning as he hid his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah.” He muttered.

“That’s nice of you.” Said the other girl, apparently not having noticed anything.

“I guess.” Whispered Shikamaru.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the shop, Ino biting her lip in an uncharacteristic display of doubt. Shikamaru turned to the counter and paid ―Inoichi knowing better than to suggest otherwise by then― and took the bouquet with care. With another wave, he left.

The walk to the hospital was quiet and uneventful, as usual, and Shikamaru soon stood before the reception desk. The nurse waved him in, too busy gossiping with another girl. He preferred walking alone anyway, having memorised the maze of corridors long ago.

He stopped before a brown door, with nothing to set it apart from all the others, and entered without bothering to knock.

The room looked pretty much like any other. Soft blue walls, brown floor and white ceiling. The bed in the middle had a cream coloured cover with a small table and chair off to the side.

Shikamaru closed the door behind himself before walking to the table and putting the flowers in the vase there after pulling the drying flowers it had held to the side to be thrown out later. After that, he opened the window to let in the clear warm morning breeze and watered the potted plants there, brought by Ino’s mum long ago.

Finished, he took a seat next to the bed and looked at the woman who occupied it.

She was pale, more than she’d been in any of his memories, with long black hair that looked untamed despite the nurses brushing it every day. Her features had an exotic edge that he hadn’t inherited and her closed eyelids hid her green eyes.

She looked small and delicate, as if she were merely sleeping, and not at all like the strong woman he knew her to be. Shikamaru took her hand in his, resting it atop the bed.

“Hello, mum, I’m back. I’ve brought you flowers.” He said in a low voice. “They’re your favourites, from the Yamanaka flower shop, of course. I saw Ino-chan there; she’s got a new friend. She’s in the Academy, but comes from a civilian family. She’s so troublesome… Naruto has a crush on her, but she’s really mean to him. Naruto still tries to impress her, though. A few days ago…”

And just like that, Shikamaru was recounting his week in full detail. Intellectually, he knew his mother couldn’t hear him, but talking to her helped. When he was little, he’d used to spend hours talking to her or simply lazing about as he listened to her tales. His dad had always been too busy, more so when he was made Jōnin Commander, and even though he always tried to make time to spend with them, their characters were so alike that they mostly spent their time together being lazy.

His mum, though, had always known how to motivate them without nagging and had always listened to all their silly little comments with the same attentiveness she would to the Hokage himself.

After the attack, his father still made sure to have time for him and all, but… it just wasn’t the same.

Therefore, Shikamaru had got into the habit of visiting the hospital and sharing his worries with his mother like he’d used to. It also helped alleviate the guilt and pain he felt at the thought of her all alone in that room with no company for weeks on end. And maybe, a small irrational part of him still held onto the childish hope that, one day, she’d open her eyes and smile that warm loving smile she used to give him.

When he finally run out of things to speak about, Shikamaru trailed off into silence. A look at the sun filtering through the window proved it wasn’t too late so, with a shrug, the boy laid his head down on the bed, next to were his hand clutched his mother’s, and settled down for a nap.

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Asuma sat in silence, smoke from his cigarette rising up into the sky as he contemplated his current team.

Chōji Akimichi was a gluttonous and carefree boy, much like most of the clan he was heir of. He spent most of his time eating, not stopping even for training. Food was as much his weakness as it was his strength; once he was promised food in exchange for completing a task, there was no stopping him.

Ino Yamanaka, heiress of her own clan, was a happy if rather arrogant girl. She was, much to his chagrin, both daddy’s girl and a fangirl. Whilst she was selfish and still childish, she wasn’t a bad person and she was the most dedicated one out of her teammates, but that unfortunately didn’t mean much.

Shikamaru Nara, heir to the Nara clan, was the third and final member of the team. He was also the source of most of the jōnin’s worries. Intelligent didn’t begin to cover the genius he had discovered in the calm and lazy Nara boy. He wasn’t without talent, either, and his teamwork was good. He had already expected him to be somewhat lazy and his serenity was a welcome contrast to his teammates’ passion. No, what worried Asuma was discovering the boy wasn’t just lazy: he was totally unmotivated.

Unlike with Chōji and Ino, he didn’t know how to motivate Shikamaru into putting effort to try and grow up to his full potential.

Most people simply wrote off the young Nara as another lazy boy, but Asuma could see so much more already. He saw what the boy could become if he only tried, saw all that potential other genin would kill for, and he felt responsible as his jōnin-sensei to help him reach it. His despair stemmed from the fact that he had no idea how to encourage him to trying.

After a few D-rank missions, Ino was ready to bite his head off, so he’d taken them on a C-rank. It was an escort mission to Fire Country’s capital, easy enough and hopefully a way to help them all bond further.

It hadn’t worked all that well.

The mission itself had gone perfectly, even if they’d seemed to advance at a snail’s pace and he’d had to restrain Chōji from attacking their client when the pompous ass called his student ‘fat’. It hadn’t gone up in rank, like he would hear weeks later Team 7’s had.

But something unexpected had happened. As the whole three weeks the mission took went by, Shikamaru had started to become morose, growing taciturn and grumpy.

He’d grown concerned for him, not finding the cause, but Shikamaru had been back to his usual self when they met up for training after returning to the village. He’d decided to leave it alone, but resolved to speak with him if it happened again.

Their second C-rank hadn’t escalated, either. They’d gone to one of the outposts at Fire Country’s borders, delivered a message, and went back to Konoha. But on the way back, two missing nin attacked them. Their hitai-ate had Ame’s symbol scratched and Asuma estimated they were chūnin level.

Shikamaru restrained one with the Shadow-Binding technique, Chōji covering him as Ino worked with Asuma. When Ino’s Mind-Switching technique was dodged and the girl was almost run through by a kunai, Asuma didn’t hesitate. His chakra blade easily run through the delicate skin on the ninja’s throat, spraying blood everywhere.

After checking Ino was alright, if a bit shaken, he’d turned to Shikamaru and asked how long he could hold the man, wanting to interrogate him and ready to tie him up if necessary. It was a mistake.

The moment Shikamaru looked at him, the Nara froze, eyes widening and Shadow-Binding slipping from his grasp.

Chōji tackled him out of the way before Asuma immediately took care of the enemy.

Once they were all safely back in the village, he’d pulled Shikamaru aside for a game of shoji, trying to get him to open up.

When it didn’t work, he’d tried to write it off as the boy’s reaction to seeing death for the first time; it wasn’t like he was the first genin to freeze over that.

However, Asuma remembered Shikamaru’s expression clearly and he couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was more to it.

He hadn’t survived up till then by ignoring his instincts, so he decided to follow Shikamaru and trying to find out a bit more about his character. If that didn’t work, he’d have to talk with Shikaku, but that would have to be a last resort.

Shikamaru’s routine was easy enough to follow: the boy’s laziness kept him from deviating too much off it. With each day that went by, he was surer that he’d have to talk with the Jōnin Commander.

Then Sunday came. Asuma showed up a bit later than usual, but he wasn’t worried. Shikamaru would surely take the chance to sleep in on his free day, right? He cursed when he found out his guess was wrong. Shikamaru had already left.

Rubbing his face tiredly, he resolved to go ask Ino as to her teammate’s whereabouts. As a gossip lover, she was his best bet at the moment.

When he reached the Yamanaka flower shop, where he knew Ino helped on her free mornings, he found he didn’t need to talk to her, after all.

Shikamaru was just leaving the shop with a fresh bouquet of flowers.

Intrigued at the turn of events, the jōnin followed his student. They ended up at the hospital, where Asuma watched from the rooftop of another building as the Nara Heir visited a woman, speaking as she slept on.

He wouldn’t deny how his heart clenched when he finally realised what he was witnessing.

As Shikamaru skipped lunch to nap, Asuma decided he’d seen enough. He needed answers and he knew who could give them. An hour later, he sat in front of his father, the Hokage.

He didn’t even contemplate the idea of asking Shikaku, not about this. The man was the Jōnin Commander for a reason and he could be very scary: he didn’t want to face him with questions of this.

“Ah, so it was that.” Mused the old man when Asuma explained the situation.

“The attack happened five years ago, right? Shikamaru-kun must have been around seven?”

“Yes, yes, I believe so.”

“Was he present?”

“Yes, he was. As Nara Heir, we think he was the main target. His mother protected him to the best of her abilities until help arrived.” Explained Hiruzen. “I was one of the first notified after it happened. When I arrived, the poor boy was covered in blood…”

“Was he hurt?”

“Fortunately, no. Shikamaru-kun was unharmed, but severely traumatised. I think he attended therapy with one of the Yamanaka.”

“What about the attackers? Were they caught?”

“Yes. Shikaku-san hunted them down himself, along with the other two thirds of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio.”

Asuma winced and wondered if there had been anything left of those missing nin, but decided not to ask. He already had the answers he’d come for. Now onto the next matter: how to help his student get over the act of freezing at the sight of large quantities of blood, after ascertaining that was what had happened in their mission.

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“The Chūnin Exams are coming up. I’ve asked around and we can only enter as a team, so if you show up late or even think of not showing up, I’ll be… displeased.”

There was a glint in Ino’s eyes as she spoke that told of the innumerable things she would do to Chōji and him to make their lives miserable. Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head with a frown.

“Troublesome woman…” he muttered.

“What did you say!?”

“Nothing, nothing…”

With a sigh, the Nara flopped down on the ground of the training field they were waiting for Asuma-sensei in and looked up at the clouds. If only he could be as careless as them…

He didn’t want to take part in the exam. As rookie genins, their chances of actually being promoted were low. It would be such a drag having to put effort into it for nothing… and it’s not like he wanted to be promoted. That would mean more missions away from the village.

Unfortunately, by then, he knew better than to voice any of that aloud within Ino’s hearing range.

HPNHPNHPNHPN

Shikamaru stood frozen before the eight shinobi that bore the Sound’s symbol on their hitai-ate. He was very much aware that there was another one hidden in a tree to his right, protecting them as he waited for the Nara’s Shadow-Binding to fail when he inevitably run out of chakra.

Shikamaru clenched his hands into fists, eyes wide as he tried to see a way out of the mess he was in. He could think of none.

This wasn’t how he wanted to die. Not at all.

The memory of a voice thought long lost to time whispered in his mind.

‘My brave little Shikamaru.’

She had been wrong, though. He wasn’t brave; he was a coward. There hadn’t been a second in his life since that day when he hadn’t been afraid.

His breathing grew heavy.

A presence made itself known behind him.

“Asuma-sensei.”

HPNHPNHPNHPN

Naruto smiled when he saw Shikamaru up ahead. He was about to call out to him when he noticed him stop in front of the hospital. With a frown, the blond watched him enter the building. Was Shikaamru sick? Hurt? Or was it one of their friends? The only ones he could think of were Lee or Sasuke, but the Nara wasn’t close to either.

With a shrug, he followed him in. nobody paid them much attention, too busy with repairs. The building had been just one of the many that had been damaged during the invasion, even if it wasn’t as serious as some others thanks to the shinobi protecting it.

In the middle of a corridor, Shikamaru stopped and looked back. Not really sure why, Naruto hid behind a corner. The black-haired boy sighed and shook his head before resuming his walk until he turned a corner. Then he disappeared.

Naruto run forward, stunned, and looked around.

“Now where did he go?”

“Why are you following me, Naruto?” said a voice behind him.

The blond jumped, his eyes wide as saucers and a shocked yelp leaving his lips.

“S-Shikamaru! Don’t scare me like that!”

The Nara shook his head again.

“Well? Why are you following me?”

“Eh? Oh, ah… you see… I-I wasn’t… I mean, I was just…” Naruto frowned, his cheeks puffing out. “What are you doing here?”

Shikamaru rubbed his face tiredly and decided he wasn’t in the mood to deal with this. With a sigh, he sidestepped the blond and opened the door behind him. Confused, Naruto followed him into the room.

It was airy and light, with well taken care of plants on the window and a view of the trees next to the hospital. The bed was occupied by a sleeping woman with dark hair and a really pretty face. She seemed slightly familiar.

Naruto stopped on the threshold, suddenly feeling shy and out of place. Shikamaru had no such compulsion, opening the window and sitting next to the bed.

“You can come in.” muttered sullenly the boy. “Just close the door behind you.”

“Who is she?” whispered the whiskered child after obeying.

“My mum.”

Naruto’s eyes blew wide open. The woman looked nothing like Shikamaru, except perhaps for her black hair, but he could remember her now. He’d seen her a few times when she picked up Shikamaru ―and Chōji and even Ino a few times too― from the Academy or the park. She’d even offered him cookies a few of those times, treating him kindly, so he couldn’t have forgotten her.

Curiously, he didn’t remember seeing her after their first year of Academy. He’d never given it much thought.

“What happened to her?” he asked quietly, taking a couple of steps towards the bed almost unconsciously.

For a while, his fellow genin didn’t say anything, staring at her.

“She was hurt, protecting me.” Said finally Shikamaru, tearing his eyes away. “We were in the forest, waiting for my father to come home from work, and some shinobi attacked us. Rogues. Mum covered me and got hurt, but help arrived. They took her here and she… hasn’t woken since.”

Naruto blinked at him. She hadn’t woken…?

“But surely the doctors…”

Shikamaru shook his head.

“It’s been five years and the doctors haven’t been able to help her. Konoha’s got the best medics, but they’re not good enough.”

“Five years? And she hasn’t woken once? Why do you keep coming, then?”

“I know it sounds silly, but I don’t want her to be alone.” Shrugged the boy.

Naruto looked at the pretty woman and then at the lazy boy that had just been the first of their generation to be promoted.

“You love her a lot, right?” he said in a softer voice than any Shikamaru had heard from him before. “It’s obvious. I don’t know what it’s like to have parents, so I don’t understand what you feel, but… I’m sure she’d appreciate knowing that her son hasn’t forgotten her.”

“Naruto…”

“She’d probably be very happy to know you’ve been visiting her, waiting for her to wake up. And she must have been really happy that you’re alright even if she got hurt. That’s what mum’s do, right?”

Not for the first time, Shikamaru wondered why people treated the blond so badly. His mum was right when she said most people were silly and only saw what they wanted to see. The memory of her face, lips pursed and brows furrowed before she’d change the topic and tickle him, was clearer in his mind than it had been in a long time and Shikamaru smiled as he shared with his friend a few stories of his mother.

That day, Shikamaru didn’t speak to his mother of his week, but he didn’t feel guilty. She’d have been happy to see his friendship with Naruto get stronger instead.

She always did encourage him to talk to the lonely blond.

HPNHPNHPNHPN

Shikaku sat on his house’s back porch when Inoichi arrived at the Nara Clan compound. The Jōnin Commander was out of his uniform, dressed in a simple light kimono and a haori with his clan symbol in the back. The deer vest he had taken to wearing for the last five years was laid out before him as the man was in the process of cleaning it.

“It looks worn. Maybe you should look into getting a new one.” Suggested the blond.

“Maybe.” Hummed Shikaku after pausing for a moment.

They both knew he wouldn’t.

“I hear Shikamaru-kun got promoted.”

“He has. How did your daughter take it?”

“She’s happy for him. Frustrated, too. Apparently, your boy thinks being chūnin is ‘too troublesome’”. Quoted the blond.

Shikaku snorted softly, seemingly not surprised at all. Eyeing the vest in front of him critically, he reached for some thread. He’d missed that tear under the armpit in his first sweep.

“Are you really going to trouble yourself with sewing that up? It’s beyond hopeless now, Shikaku.”

The Nara Clan Head gave him a ‘look’ before turning back to his task.

“It’s no trouble.”

Inoichi sighed, shaking his head, and took a seat near his friend. He watched in silence as the Jōnin Commander worked on repairing the old worn vest until he deemed it to be as good as it would get. Finally, the shinobi run a hand lovingly through the deer-skin, the motion in clear contrast with the darkening of his eyes. With one last sigh, Shikaku stood and hung the vest on the back of the chair in the corner.

“Why are you here?”

Inoichi didn’t take offence at the question. They’d been through enough together to have learnt when the abruptness in a question was the Nara way of getting information fast. Nara could run circles around you like nobody else, but they saw no sense in beating around the bush when it stood between them and a chance to wallow in their laziness.

“It’s my free day.” He answered calmly. “Ino-flower said something about Asuma-san taking them on a celebratory dinner and my wife is overseeing the repairs of the shop’s window that got damaged in the invasion, so…”

“You were bored.” Cut him off Shikaku.

“Mostly. I talked to Chōza and we both think it’s about time we met to catch up, so dinner’s on his house tonight.”

“I guess I don’t get a say.” Sighed the dark-haired man, not even trying to put up a fight.

“No, you don’t.” chuckled Inoichi, standing up.

Shikaku yawned, stretching before following his friend. On the way out, he absently patted the deerskin vest, but he didn’t take it with him.

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“You said something about patients?” asked Tsunade when Konohamaru ran off from the Tower.

The little blond hellion lit up at her words.

“Yeah! Come on, you have to heal my friends!”

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Shikamaru sighed as he climbed the stairs to the Hokage Tower behind his father. The man had dragged him out of the house on his training-free day saying something about needing help carrying some boxes from his office. He wasn’t too surprised, nor did he bother mentioning the existence of sealing scrolls. His dad had used excuses like that to spend time together for years. Since the… accident, actually.

A familiar boisterous voice reached him from the top of the stairs, followed shortly after by an unknown woman’s.

“Naruto?”

“Shikamaru!”

“What are you doing here?” he asked as he finally reached the top.

“You first. Why are you here?”

“No idea. Dad asked me to come with him.” Muttered Shikamaru with a put upon look.

“Ah, really? I wonder why…”

The blond leaned around his friend to look at the older Nara and Shikamaru looked back. Shikaku had stopped to greet the blond lady, bowing respectfully.

“It’s been a long time, Tsunade-sama.”

“Oh, you’re the boy of the Nara family. You take good care of the deer? Deer horns are good for preparing medicines.”

Shikamaru arched an eyebrow at his father being referred to as ‘boy’, especially when the man didn’t react to it.

“Yeah, more or less…”

“Hey, Naruto,” started the younger Nara leaning towards the orange-clad boy. “who’s that cool young lady?”

“She’s the new Hokage.”

“What!?”

“Don’t let her fool you. Although she looks young, she’s a fifty-something year old woman.” Whispered Naruto conspiratorially.

Shikamaru had known Naruto long enough to know when he was lying, so he muttered a ‘kai’ under his breath.

Nope, no changes. Alright, she wasn’t using a genjutsu. What could it be, then?

“…personal matter.”

Shikamaru cursed in his head when he realised he’d missed whatever his father had just told the, apparently, soon to be Godaime Hokage.

“I’ll make time. See you later, then.”

The blond woman waved goodbye, not even bothering to turn around, followed by a black-haired woman ―he was not going to try and guess her age― carrying a pig.

“Finally! To the hospital, dattebayo! See you later, Shikamaru! I’ll show you my new super cool jutsu!”

Shikamaru was left staring after them, wondering if he should even bother trying to understand what he’d just learned. He soon decided the effort wasn’t worth it.

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Tsunade stared at the woman laid out on the bed, nothing outstanding about her really except for her exotic beauty. Her eyes returned to the folder in her hands.

“Five years in a coma…” she repeated.

She loved Konoha, she did, but she was a shinobi and a medic and was very much aware that a shinobi village didn’t usually squander resources on what they deemed a lost cause. And it was obvious from what she could see in the medical chart that this woman had been deemed a lost cause long ago.

Protocol dictated that people in her position were to be put to sleep, given a merciful end. Even in peace times, shinobi villages were careful on what their resources were spent on. Which begged the question…

“Who is she?”

“She’s Shikamaru’s mum.” Answered Naruto, eyes wide and hopeful as he stared intermittently between her, the folder in her hands and the woman on the bed.

Shikamaru… Shikamaru… Oh, yes, the youngest Nara boy. Shikaku’s son. That would make this woman…

“…the Nara Clan’s Lady.”

That would explain why she was still being looked after, kept breathing, despite the fact that the medics in the hospital hadn’t been hopeful of her ever recovering.

Technically, if you could afford the whole costs of maintaining someone in this state, you could petition for it. But apart from the clan’s, not many people could afford such a thing and shinobi Clan’s wouldn’t usually waste money on a lost cause either.

She didn’t expect the Nara Clan, with its genius members, to deviate from that when they never had before. It went against the pragmatism they were so famous for.

Which meant the Nara Clan Head and Jōnin Commander must be the one personally covering the costs of his wife’s long stay in the hospital. He sure was one of the few with enough influence to have this exception made.

‘Shikaku must really love her to be so set on keeping her alive. The costs sure aren’t small.’ The Senju thought checking the folder again. ‘Then again, I could be wrong: this state she’s in hardly qualifies as living.’

Her eyes flickered once to the door, finally understanding the presence there that she’d been aware of for a while. It had been hours ago that she met him and his son and the man expressed his desire to speak with her about a personal matter. She had a feeling that this was exactly the matter, the same one that Naruto had brought to her attention.

The little blond brat had been so adamant that she come to the village and help his friends ―Sasuke and Lee― and his friend’s mum. She hadn’t expected to find her last patient to be a woman in a years-long coma, though.

“So? So? You said you’d help her.”

“I said I’d try.” She corrected absently, hands flipping the pages on the folder.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the brat cross his arms over his chest and pout at her, but she ignored that. She did notice that he looked too cute, like a puffed up kitten.

“Well, try then! She’s sick and you’re a medic!”

“It’s not that easy, brat.” she frowned. “Anyway, why are you so set on this point? She’s no relation of yours.”

At her annoyed observation, the blond suddenly went very quiet. Tsunade frowned. Curse the brat for managing to make her feel like she’d kicked a puppy every time he looked like that. Then he started to talk, his voice very quiet and not at all like his usual self.

“I don’t really understand how Shikamaru feels because I’ve never had parents.” He started, and look, she could still feel worse than after the kicked puppy look! “I mean, it hurts that I didn’t know them, but I think it’s worse for Shikamaru because he did. He knew her and loved her and she loved him too and to not have her anymore must hurt more than never having had her. If someone can help her, he’ll have no reason to be so sad, right? I just don’t want my friend to be sad.”

Tsunade grimaced at just how very good the other blond was. Hell, this kid was going to be the death of her reputation… then he puffed up again.

“So you have to heal her, baachan!”

Tsunade’s eyes narrowed.

“Get out, brat.”

Again with the kicked puppy look? She almost growled at herself as she pushed him towards the door.

“I’ve got to work and I need her husband’s permission before trying anything. So get out!”

“But-”

She clearly saw the moment the blond genin realised there was someone at the door way as he suddenly cut off.

“Naruto-kun.” Greeted lazily the Nara Clan Head.

“I- uh, Nara-sama…” the genin looked between both adults for a second before he slumped and swallowed. “Uh, I’ll be, uh, going, yeah, I’ll be going. Got to make it to training…”

But Shikaku didn’t immediately move from the doorway even as Naruto made for it, clearly uncomfortable.

“Uzumaki-kun, I’d be grateful if you didn’t tell my son about this.” Despite his intimidating voice and figure, Naruto seemed about to protest before the jōnin continued. “I’d like to personally speak of this with him.”

After a hasty nod, the blond run out of the room like the hounds of hell were chasing him and Tsunade shook her head.

Alone in the room, Tsunade and Shikaku stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, until her patience run out.

“I take it this is the personal matter you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked, her head signalling towards the woman on the bed.

Shikaku nodded, but his eyes never strayed from the Senju princess.

“Alright, then, let’s talk business.” She said, cracking her fingers.

HPNHPNHPNHPN

Something was eating at his dad.

It wasn’t anything too obvious, but he could tell. Dinners at the Nara house had been a quiet affair for years now, but the silence had never seemed as uncomfortable and charged as it did that night.

When he finally couldn’t take it anymore, Shikamaru dropped his chopsticks on the bowl and frowned up at his father.

“Alright, what is it?” he asked in a resigned tone.

Shikaku arched an eyebrow at him before realising from the stubborn tilt of his chin that he wasn’t going to give up and dropping any pretence of eating. He’d just being picking at his food, another sign that something was bothering him.

“I talked with Tsunade-sama today.” A small pause and then… “About your mother.”

Shikamaru froze. He didn’t remember the last time his father had talked about his mother. He knew it wasn’t out of anything but pain, but the fact was the man never outright mentioned her. Not so directly.

Even after five years, her absence still clung like a shadow to their small family.

He didn’t know how to react, not as his father seemed to steel himself and focus his attention on him with an intensity he’d seen few times. In his face, there wasn’t any of the laid-back nature the Nara were so well known for outside the clan.

“Senju Tsunade is known to be the best medic Konoha has ever produced.” He begun, and Shikamaru felt a stirring of hope in his chest despite the logical rational part of him trying to stamp it. “And she has taken a personal interest in your mother’s case.”

“Can she heal her?”

He blurted out the question before he could even think it better, but he regretted it as soon as he saw the brief flash of pain in his father’s face.

“Tsunade-sama has found the most likely cause of her state,” continued Shikaku. “something none other medic has been able to do so far. She has designed an experimental intervention with the aim of helping her mind regain consciousness, but there is no guarantee that it will be successful.”

Shikamaru knew he was stressing that purely for their benefit, but he couldn’t help the surge of hope inside himself. This was more than they had had in years, so he didn’t care.

“What-”

“However,” cut him off his father. “Tsunade-sama had certain conditions.”

Shikamaru didn’t really care about that. He doubted there could be anything she’d asked for that his dad wouldn’t gladly give her at this point, not if there really was a chance that she could help his mum.

But there was something in his father’s voice that told him to stay quiet and listen, even as it took a while for the Nara to continue.

Shikaku took a deep breath, the only visible sign of his conflict that he allowed himself, and then spoke again.

“As you know, we are privy to certain privileges as Clans that other citizens aren’t. It is for that reason alone that your mother has remained in the hospital for so long, being looked after. As a Hidden Village, the resources invested in that alone are precious and cannot be indefinitely spent on one woman. If the surgery does not work…”

Shikamaru didn’t need to be a genius to know where this was going and even as his mind understood, his heart immediately rebelled.

“You can’t be saying-! Dad, you can’t be seriously contemplating that!” he protested, eyes wide as he jumped up on his feet.  “No! You can’t- That’s- It’ll be murder! You can’t agree, no!”

“Shikamaru.”

His father didn’t raise his voice, but he didn’t need to. The younger Nara fell silent, eyes still wide and breathing laboured.

“I’ve already agreed.”

With those words, his entire world shifted.

“Tsunade-sama will perform the surgery herself, but if it doesn’t work… If it doesn’t, your mother will be sedated. It will be absolutely painless; she won’t feel a thing…”

But Shikamaru didn’t want to hear it, even as the man seemed more set on convincing himself than his son.

“What are the chances of the surgery’s success?” he asked in a small emotionless voice.

There was a moment of silence as Shikaku appraised his sudden change in attitude.

“5-10%. Tsunade-sama is not sure.”

Shikamaru clenched his jaw, his hands fisting at his sides.

“No.”

“The decision has been made, Shikamaru.”

“No.” he repeated.

And then he stormed out of the house, leaving Shikaku alone with his ghosts.

HPNHPNHPNHPN

It was almost an hour later when Shikamaru found himself sitting on a rickety chair in Naruto’s small apartment. Neither mentioned his reddened eyes or his croaky voice.

The blonde had found him wandering the streets alone in the middle of the night and invited him to his house.

In the beginning they hadn’t talked at all. Shikamaru was just too angry and raw to have a civilised conversation and Naruto seemed unusually tactful as he didn’t mention his state nor try to make idle chat.

But then he’d just started talking, pouring everything out to the concerned blond until he was out of words.

“I feel guilty.” muttered Naruto.

“Why would you feel so?” asked Shikamaru, drained from all the emotions.

The blonde fidgeted under his scrutinising stare, even if it wasn’t as intense as it could be under other circumstances.

“I was the one that told Tsunade-baachan about your mum.” He explained, his eyes avoiding the Nara’s.

Shikamaru didn’t know how to feel about that revelation.

“When Ero-sennin and I found her, I didn’t really care if she became the Hokage. I’d heard she was the best medic and I told her she had to come to Konoha and heal Sasuke, Lee and your mum. She didn’t want to, at first. And when she came here I thought for sure she’d heal your mum and you wouldn’t be so sad and everything would be better. I didn’t think…”

“You couldn’t have known.” Whispered Shikamaru.

“But baachan said she’ll do that surgery thingy, right? It’ll work, Shikamaru! It’ll work and your mum will get better and then it won’t matter what the old woman and your father said, dattebayo!”

“Dad said it’s got a 5-10% chance of succeeding…”

“Well that’s more than she had before, right?” said Naruto tilting his head.

Shikamaru startled a bit at that.

“You really think Tsunade-sama can do it?” he asked very quietly.

“If anyone can, that’s Tsunade-baachan, dattebayo!” insisted Naruto. “It will be fine, Shikamaru.”

The Nara took a deep breath before nodding slowly. He ended up staying the night in Naruto’s small apartment, sleeping on his old tattered couch.

HPNHPNHPNHPN

He’d love to say she looked completely peaceful, with her eyes closed, her hands crossed over her middle and her hair sprayed around her head like a dark halo.

But he couldn’t say that because to him, she looked simply lifeless.

Her chest mechanically raising and falling was the only movement of her too still shape, her face was slack and expressionless, her skin’s paleness accentuated by the moonlight that came through the window.

He remembered how she’d been before the attack: so full of life, laughter and kindness. He remembered how she’d gravitate to the nearest source of heat even as she slept, how she scrunched up her nose and closed her eyes when she laughed and how she’d try to pat her hair down whenever anyone mentioned its messiness.

She’d been full of life, his wife, and the husk of her that laid in the hospital was just that: an empty shell.

And yet he hadn’t been able to contemplate the idea of losing her completely.

When the medics first suggested that it was time to let her go, he’d scared them witless with his reaction. He knew the Killing Intent had drawn more than one worried shinobi to the hospital, and that’s without taking into account the many people who just outright fainted.

He’d shut down any talk of it and made arrangements for her, everything paid out of his own pocket, not even touching the Clan funds.

Shikamaru didn’t know it, but he’d visited her every day for the first year, holding onto that tiny hope that she would wake up.

It was Inoichi who knocked some sense into him and it hadn’t been pretty, but the blond had managed to make him see that there was a part of her that was still there.

Shikamaru.

Her son.

Their son.

He was a part of her, a part of them both, and he needed his father to be strong for him. His mother had given everything to protect him―she’d loved him so deeply, with her whole being― and he couldn’t be the one to fail him now.

He’d pulled himself together after that. Slowly. Painfully. Angrily even. But he had. His teammates had made sure to support him and cover for him when he needed it.

But he hadn’t managed to let go completely.

He knew Chōza and Inoichi both suspected that he still visited her room on occasion, but there was a silent agreement that it wouldn’t be mentioned unless he fell apart again.

Yet he couldn’t keep doing this. Shikamaru couldn’t keep doing this.

It was time to get her back or let her rest.

Tsunade had been very clear when she explained the risks of this surgery, but she’d also very clearly told him that there was nothing else that could be done. His wife would never wake up on her own.

Telling Shikamaru, watching his anger and pain, his hope and his heartbreak, when he delivered the news had been the hardest thing he’d had to do, right after accepting Tsunade’s deal, but it had to be done.

And now, with all the odds against him, he sat next to the still body of the woman he loved, her hand clenched tightly in his own, and hoped that he wouldn’t have to lose her all over again.

He leant forward in his seat, perched on the edge of her bed, and pressed his forehead to hers like he’d done so many years ago, on that morning when he asked her to marry him. His free hand came up to caress the pulse point on her neck.

And for the first time since Inoichi had beat some sense back into him, he spoke to her.

“You have to live, Aya, you hear me? You have to come back to us.” He whispered against her lips, his eyes closing tightly against the suddenly overwhelming need to cry. “Shikamaru will never forgive me if I have to go through with what I promised Tsunade-sama… And neither will I.”

HPNHPNHPNHPN

Shikamaru’s morning went by in a blink.

He’d been woken up to find Ino on Naruto’s apartment, hands on her hips and expression cross before she proceeded to manhandle him out of the house whilst apologising to Naruto.

Apparently, he’d slept through their appointed time to meet for training and she’d somehow managed to track him down there.

So they’d met up with Chōji and Asuma-sensei ―late, as his only female teammate insisted on reminding him― and begun training.

It soon became clear he was awfully distracted, but he just couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than his conversation with Naruto the night before.

By mid-morning Ino was ready to tear her hair out in frustration and Asuma-sensei looked pensive. Even Chōji looked mildly worried.

When their sensei suggested they take a half hour to rest ―which he absently noticed was coincidentally the same moment Kurenai-sensei casually passed by― he ignored Ino’s rant and laid down to nap.

But even sleep wouldn’t come easy that day ―and it wasn’t because of Ino’s grating voice since he was already used to tuning her out.

By the time they resumed training, he was annoyed on top of distracted. Suffice to say, their training that day didn’t help them advance much.

At midday, Chōji suggested they go get lunch together, even going so far as to offer to invite them as he looked worriedly at Shikamaru. But the Nara’s mood didn’t brighten any at the offer.

In the end, he excused himself with a half-assed pretext he didn’t bother to remember and left alone.

He didn’t even realise where he was going until he stood in front of the hospital.

For a few minutes, he stared blankly at the building.

Naruto’s words kept repeating in his head. The blond was sure Tsunade could do this, that she could heal his mother.

And he was right, it was the most hope they’d had a reason to have in five years.

But the consequences if she failed scared him.

He couldn’t fathom the idea of his mum not being there, of not being able to see her or tell her about his day, even when she couldn’t answer back.

It terrified him.

‘My brave little Shikamaru.’

Those had been her last words to him.

Brave.

He wasn’t brave, he knew that. But he wanted to be, even if only to live up to her expectations.

And so he went into that building, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he walked the familiar corridors towards her room.

But when he opened the door, the room on the other side was empty.

He froze on the doorway. He had the right room, he was sure, he’d been coming here for the last five years after all.

‘Where-? No. No, she can’t be- Mum… No!’

Shikamaru didn’t panic.

He totally flipped.

It was only later, restrained by his father’s arms that were like metal bands around him, that he slumped in utter defeat and learnt his mum had been moved to another room after undergoing surgery all morning.

HPNHPNHPNHPN

When Inoichi entered the hospital room, he paused at the door a moment to take in the picture in front of him.

Shikamaru was sitting next to the bed in the middle of the room, his body lax, seemingly more out of tiredness than true relaxation, and his eyes red but dry never straying from his mother’s form. His hand clutched her hand like a lifeline.

His old friend, on the other hand, was standing by the window, his back to the inside of the room and his eyes firmly fixed on the outside. His face was blank, his arms crossed tightly across his chest, and most would say he looked very much composed. But Inoichi knew his friend enough to know he was only barely managing to hold himself together.

Not that he blamed him.

He hadn’t known about the surgery; Shikaku had told him nothing of it, which was in itself telling enough.

It was only because he’d apparently personally requested him for this that he’d learnt about it less than an hour previously.

“Inoichi-kun.” Greeted the oldest Nara, his back still to the room.

His friend’s voice brought him back to the present and made him realise he’d been standing there for a while. He worriedly noticed that Shikamaru didn’t even glance away from his mother’s still form.

“Shikaku-kun, Shikamaru-kun.” He greeted back, finally stepping inside.

“If you’re here, Tsunade-sama must have already explained to you what is going on.”

“She has.” When he received nothing more but an absent nod from Shikaku and an anxious glance from his son, he cleared his throat and approached the bed. “I shall get on with it, then.”

He walked towards the bed on the side opposite to Shikamaru and moved a chair closer before sitting down. He said nothing as the chūnin reluctantly drew his hand back from the bed and set them both on his knees, fisting on the fabric of his pants.

Finally, Shikaku turned his gaze to the inside of the room, fixing his eyes firmly on Inoichi with a familiar intensity. It was the look he wore whenever he expected results in a mission, a look that compelled the one on the receiving end to do everything in their hand to actually deliver them.

Taking a deep breath and scooting a bit closer to the bed, he gathered his chakra and placed a hand carefully on top of the woman’s head. Her hair was soft to his touch and the skin on her forehead pleasantly warm.

Inoichi’s eyes closed and he slumped slightly, his mind easily slipping into the unconscious body, guided by his chakra.

The last time he’d performed the ‘Psycho Mind Transmission’ technique on the comatose woman, he’d been unable to reach her mind. His technique had slipped as if there was nothing to hold onto, no mind that he could enter.

He could remember Shikaku’s gaze when he broke that information to him, how his eyes had filled with anguish as his genius mind processed what it meant yet the man himself tried to deny it with all his being.

It was soon obvious that something had changed since then.

There was something there and his technique took a hold of it.

When he opened his eyes next, he wasn’t in the hospital room, but bathed in the most absolute darkness.

A sharp intake of breath, just a manifestation of his own mind’s surprise.

He’d entered the most superficial layer of a mind. It was inactive, as expected of someone in a coma, but it was there. And that was more than he’d been able to reach last time.

Shaking his head to get focused, he walked forward, getting deeper and deeper into the darkness. Step by step, he delved deeper, looking for something. He didn’t know what it was exactly, each mind was unique, but he’d recognise it when he saw it.

And recognise it he did.

After what felt like an eternity, he saw a small spot of light in the distance. The sound of a child’s laughter reached him as if coming from far away, echoing in the otherwise empty darkness. He swore he could feel the smell of the forest drifting towards him too.

He pushed harder against a small bout of sudden resistance, but it was feeble at best and he was strong and experienced. The light was within arm’s reach then and he hesitated a second before lifting a hand up to it.

As soon as the tips of his fingers touched the light, it burst and expanded and everything changed.

He was confused as he found himself on the Nara Clan Forest, recognising it from the admittedly few times he’d been allowed to step foot in there with Shikaku.

The unique trees stood tall and intimidating all around but his attention was pulled to the floor and the clear deer tracks left there. He instinctively followed them, noticing that the sound of laughter picked up on strength, carried by a fresh breeze.

The tracks lead him to a clearing even deeper into the forest, with a big strange tree that he didn’t recognise in its middle, and he stopped in its outskirts.

There was a woman there, right where the deer tracks ended. He could see her profile where she sat with her back against the strange tree, her features exotically beautiful, her hair black and messy and he knew soft because he had felt it not long ago.

As if sensing him, her face turned in his direction, her green eyes widening at the sight of him…

“Inoichi-kun?”

He was so startled ―at being talked to, at being recognised, at hearing her voice so full of confusion and incredulity― that his hold on the technique slipped and he was brutally shoved back into his own body.

Panting, disoriented, he drew his hand back from her head and slumped back into the chair. His eyes closed at the pain pounding in his head and he could feel something wet and warm trickling down from his nose.

Feeling a touch to his arm, he slowly peeled his eyes open to find Shikaku crouched down next to him, offering him a piece of paper and eyeing him with some worry.

He accepted it gratefully and wiped the blood from his face, pushing the building headache to the back of his mind to deal with later.

“What happened?” demanded a woman’s voice.

Taking notice of the room, he saw it was the Hokage herself who’d asked. She must have arrived at some point in the last few minutes, whilst he was occupied. Her assistant, Shizune, was noticeably absent.

Shikamaru was standing now, his eyes alternating between looking at him with worry and the bed in anxiousness.

“I was surprised and lost my hold on the technique. The nosebleed is a result of both being forcefully shoved back into my body and performing the jutsu for a prolonged period.”

The Hokage nodded at his explanation before crossing her hands under her bust and giving him an expectant look.

“Well? What surprised you so? What did you find out, Inoichi-san?”

The blond took a deep breath, his eyes turning to meet his friend’s dark shuttered ones.

“She’s there.” Shikaku inhaled sharply, but Inoichi wasn’t done and he hurried to explain, turning his eyes to the Hokage. “The last times I tried this, I couldn’t reach her mind, but it must have been there, out of reach, because I had no trouble slipping in this time. It’s mostly inactive, she’s still in a coma, but I could reach her subconscious. She was there and she recognised me ―she was confused, but she said my name― and that’s what surprised me. I was shoved out then.”

The Senju princess looked pensive at that information.

“There was an imbalance on the energies in her body that was corrected by the surgery. It is possible that it was exactly that which made it impossible for you to reach her mind before. It is just as likely, and also my running theory on which I based the surgery, that it was that same imbalance that didn’t allow her mind to resurface. Now that it has been corrected, she should be in a typical coma and there are ways that we can help her wake up from it.” As if reaching a decision, she fixed her gaze on the comatose body in the bed. “It would be better if she woke up on her own, so I’ll give her two weeks. After five years, that shouldn’t make that big of a difference in the end. If two weeks from now she hasn’t woken up, we’ll resort to artificial means. But if that doesn’t work… there will be nothing else to be done.”

HPNHPNHPNHPN

Naruto visited the hospital a day later, having found out through Ino that Shikamaru’s mum had undergone surgery already and their friend was spending most of the day there.

He was a bit intimidated in the beginning, afraid that Shikamaru’s dad would be there and his presence would be seen as an intrusion into their privacy, but to his immense relief Nara-sama wasn’t there at the time.

What he hadn’t expected at all was for Shikamaru to hug him as soon as he saw him; not that he was complaining.

They both were embarrassed afterwards and silently agreed not to mention it ―ever― but at the moment they didn’t much care.

Naruto felt much better too, finally sure that Shikamaru wasn’t angry with him and he’d managed to help his friend even if it was just a little.

The blond stayed the rest of the afternoon, talking in quiet tones and just offering some company.

HPNHPNHPNHPN

Shikaku avoided his teammates.

It wasn’t out of maliciousness; he just couldn’t deal with them at the moment. They would want to talk about…

Well, things he wasn’t ready to talk. Not until he knew for sure that she would be back to them. Not until she was back with them.

So now he sat alone in a darkened corner of his office, his old deer vest resting on the low table next to him.

He didn’t need any company at the moment, just time to let his mind work without overwhelming him. And that was the purpose of the game currently spread in front of him.

The Nara Clan was made up of people with brilliant minds that never stopped churning. Whilst it was an asset to the village and the clan itself, it was also a very taxing one. They had to learn young how to deal with its non-stop nature so as to not be burnt-out by the deluge of information.

Each clan member did so in a different ways. Some worked in their labs to unwind in their free time, some studied the behaviour of their deer, some worked with the Intelligence Division as consultants and some simply played strategy games.

For example, he usually coped with it taking care of their herd as the Clan Head and assisting Intelligence when Inoichi requested him, but other times ―like this very moment― his escape was in delving into a foreign strategy game: chess. His son, on the other hand, coped by ‘cloud-watching’ as he’d dubbed it as an infant and played shogi when he needed something else.

In many ways, Shikamaru was like him, but not so much in others. Sometimes he wondered what he’d have been like with more of his mother’s influence.

The pain was a familiar one so he shook the thought off and turned his attention back to the chess set, moving one of the pawns two squares forward, thousands of counter-moves already springing to the front of his mind.

Everyone had thought his wife to be gone from the second Inoichi declared he couldn’t find her mind so many years ago. He had refused to believe… no, he had refused to accept it.

When Tsunade made her conditions for treating his wife known, he hadn’t had anything to lose. But now Inoichi had confirmed that she was there and if she didn’t wake up…

It had never felt like they were so close, yet so far, from her.

‘She has to wake up.’

Shikamaru would never forgive him otherwise.

Shikaku wouldn’t forgive himself either.

Especially not now that he had the confirmation that she was right there, her mind not lost but trapped.

He’d thought, so very naïvely, that he could let her go, even if he wouldn’t forgive himself for it. But if there was something that he’d learnt the second that Inoichi looked him in the eyes and told him she was there, was that he was a liar. And he’d been lying to his Hokage, to his friends, to his son and above all of them, to himself.

Because despite having agreed to it, he couldn’t go through with Tsunade’s conditions.

Now more than ever he realised they hadn’t been ready to lose her, to let go of her, and they never would be.

HPNHPNHPNHPN

Shikamaru woke up slowly and felt disoriented for a second, but the familiarity of the place soon penetrated his mind. He groaned, the sound turning into a yawn that he didn’t bother trying to smother, realising that he must have fallen asleep in the hospital.

He wasn’t all that surprised, as he hadn’t slept well for the last few days, not since before his mother’s surgery three days ago, but he was annoyed when he saw how high the sun already was.

Usually his annoyance would come from knowing that Ino would be unbearable for his being late, but today it was actually for the opposite reason: Ino would be tip-toeing around him as she had the last few days.

He knew she was trying to be helpful and understanding, but her looks and silences felt too close to pity.

Chōji, in turn, bore all her extra attention and criticism with barely any protests at all, which made Shikamaru even twitchier.

In truth, they were both starting to get on his nerves and he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to stand their behaviour.

Another yawn threatened to break off his mouth and he raised a hand to cover it. Or went to do so, until he noticed the slight tensing of the fingers held in his hand.

Shikamaru froze, yawn forgotten and mind running a mile a minute as his eyes stayed fixed on the intertwined hands, waiting for any sign of movement.

‘What was that? I could swear I felt… Was that what woke me up before? Is she waking up? Wait, what if I just imagined it? What if it’s not real? What if it didn’t happen and I’m just… dreaming?’

His intent eyes caught it again, a small flexing of long pale fingers around his slightly bigger hand. Soft, weak, feathery… but real.

Even as his mind froze, Shikamaru’s black eyes followed the hand up, through thin arms and delicate shoulders covered by hospital blankets, to a beautiful face surrounded by the darkest of hairs, until they were met by a pair of eyes greener than their family’s forests.

“Mum.”