high in the sky
“Cissy?”
Narcissa looked down to see her five-year-old cousin, Regulus, looking up at her with wide eyes. Narcissa glanced up at the other end of the table, where her parents and her aunt Walburga and uncle Orion were quietly conversing.
“Cissy? Are you going to eat that?” Regulus asked, wistfully looking at the celery sticks at the edge of her plate.
“No, Regulus,” Narcissa replied, smiling endearingly, “You can take them.”
Their dinner was interrupted by one of their maids awkwardly hovering in the doorway.
“Yes? Well, out with it,” Druella snapped.
“This arrived today,” the maid responded nervously, placing a letter in Druella’s hand.
Druella opened the letter and skimmed over it with a thin smile. Everyone else on the table watched with varying levels of interest.
“Well?” Sirius said, breaking the silence – and sounding terribly like Andromeda, “What is it?”
“Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to, Sirius,” Walburga reprimanded sternly.
“It’s a Hogwarts acceptance letter. For Narcissa.”
Narcissa smiled slowly. She was excited to go to Hogwarts, and experience everything that her older sisters had told her about in hushed whispers.
“Congrats, Cissy,” Andromeda said, who would be going into her fourth-year next year.
“Yeah, congrats,” Bellatrix echoed.
“That’s enough,” Cygnus said, waving his hand dismissively, “We all knew she was going to get in. She’s a pureblood. Everyone else in this family has gone. Tonjours pur.”
“Tonjours pur,” everyone else at the table repeated.
Weeks later, Narcissa repeated those words under her breath, as she stared outside the train carriage where all the other first years hugged their parent’s goodbye.
Narcissa looked up at her older sister Bellatrix who was sitting next to her, “Bella, why couldn’t Mother and Father come today?”
Bellatrix gazed at Narcissa with a sympathetic stare, “Well, Cissy, Father had some important business to attend to, and Mother…”
“Mother’s getting her hair done,” Andromeda finished, shortly before shrieking out in pain from where Bellatrix kicked her leg. “What, Bella? You know it’s true. Cissa doesn’t need to believe they’re perfect anymore.”
“You mustn’t speak of them like that,” Bella snapped – scarily resembling their mother.
“It doesn’t matter anyways, Cissy,” Andromeda responded unphased, “We’re here with you, aren’t we?”
Narcissa nodded and was about to ask something else but Andromeda had returned to reading her book and Bellatrix was throwing a snitch around in the air lazily.
“Tonjours pur, tonjours pur,” Narcissa muttered faintly, trying to calm her nerves. Narcissa resorted to looking outside their window to pass the time, and must’ve eventually drifted asleep because she awoke to the smell of warm chocolate and laughter.
They’d been joined by Andromeda’s best friend, Mindy McKinnon – a half-blood witch with short, cropped hair framing her thin freckled face. Narcissa had only seen pictures of her, but she was easy to distinguish. Narcissa decided she liked Mindy, however, Bellatrix did not – which was apparent in her absence.
“Hi Cissy,” Andromeda said warmly, when noticed she was awake, “We saved some candy for you.”
Narcissa looked around warily, “Where’d Bellatrix go?”
Andromeda and Mindy shared a knowing look. “She went off to find her friends.”
“Hello Narcissa,” Mindy greeted with a slight accent, “It’s nice to finally meet you. Andy talks about you all the time.”
“You too,” Narcissa replied curtly.
“You okay, Cissa?” Andromeda asked, stuffing another chocolate frog into her mouth.
“How much longer?”
“We’ve only travelled about a quarter of the way,” Mindy responded.
“I’m going to find Bella,” Narcissa announced.
Andromeda shifted uncomfortably. “Okay, but don’t get lost. Ask a prefect for help if anything happens.”
Narcissa nodded in recognition before walking off. Narcissa walked through the hallways, feeling a little out of her depth already, as she registered so many different voices – in so many different compartments, yet none of them she was familiar with. Narcissa kept walking along, trying to make out the conversations.
“Did you hear? That’s not how it actually...”
“Slughorns back for the….”
“….over the holidays, Carrie!”
“Do you … another…”
Wait. Narcissa recognised the last voice. It was a lazy drawl that Narcissa immediately matched a face to. Rodolphus, the little scrawny boy that she had not seen for two years. The last time was when the Lestrange family visited their mansion. Narcissa did know that Rodulphus and Bellatrix were practically inseparable, or at least that was what Andy had told her.
Narcissa peaked behind the small opening in the carriage door, trying to find a glimpse of her sister. There were four of them sitting there, Rodolphus was sitting next to Bellatrix with an arm casually draped around her. Opposite them, was Lucious Malfoy, another person Narcissa knew from their visits to the mansion – and sitting next to him was a girl that Narcissa didn’t recognise.
The four of them were passing around something they smoked, and they all reeked of alcohol. Narcissa decided she would go back to Andromeda as she preferred Mindy to whoever these people were – but as soon as she took a step backwards she was noticed by Rodolphus.
“Oh, hello there,” he cooed at her, “it’s the little black sister.”
Bellatrix looked up at her through hooded eyes and grinned. “Hello, Cissy,” she giggled, and then all of them laughed as if there was a secret joke that Narcissa didn’t get.
“Come sit here with me,” she continued, patting the space between her and Rodolphus.
Narcissa warily looked around, uncomfortable already, but she decided on before down. The girl that Narcissa didn’t know eyed her carefully before laughing. Then they all laughed again.
“Here,” the girl whispered, handing her a green glass bottle.
“Ivory,” Rodolphus said, “She’s a child.”
“Oh, who cares?” Bella groaned, “Let her have fun. Drink some, Cissy. You’ll like it.”
Narcissa nodded, before taking a small sip. Narcissa did not like it. At all. Narcissa would’ve spat it out if she hadn’t been conditioned to never spit anything out since she was a small child.
She handed it back to Ivory with a slight frown on her face.
Bellatrix laughed loudly, “No? Okay try this.”
Bellatrix handed Narcissa the cigarette that they were all smoking.
“A cigarette?” Narcissa mused, taking it in her fingers.
“Oh, isn’t she precious? It's a blunt,” Ivory chuckled.
“Just try it. Breathe in slowly. Go on,” Bellatrix insisted.
Narcissa did, and she didn’t like this one either. She choked on it immediately, her throat scratchy as she coughed. No, she wanted to leave right now. She decided she was going to get up, but something inside her relaxed, and she felt comfortable in her seat all of a sudden. Narcissa giggled. Something was very funny suddenly. Everything was just so funny.
“More!” She exclaimed, kicking her feet.
Bellatrix handed it back to her, and Narcissa breathed it in, and again, letting the feeling wash over her and the voices of her sister’s friends drown out. At some point, Narcissa closed her eyes and when she opened them there was no one else in the carriage.
Confused, she stumbled out of the carriage, her mind still hazy. She saw the blurred figure of an outline and she staggered over to it, blinking a few times.
“Hi,” Narcissa breathed, her face an inch away from the strangers, “You’re shiny. So very shiny.”
This was true. The girl had an outline that almost glowed. The girl didn’t seem to find this amusing at all.
“Are you high?”
Narcissa laughed again.
Alice rolled her eyes, in a way that Narcissa found to be quite endearing. “Are you a first year too?”
“Yeah,” Narcissa replied poking the girl’s cheek, “I’m Narcissa, and you’re so shiny.”
The girl looked down, pushing Narcissa’s hand away. “I’m Alice.”
“Shiny Alice.”
“Okay, I get it.”
Someone from the carriage behind Alice called her, and she looked back at Narcissa with an unreadable face – “Look, I should go.”
Narcissa’s heart deflated a little at this, for a reason she couldn’t comprehend. As soon as Alice closed the door behind her, Narcissa turned back and walked all the way back to Andromeda’s carriage. When she opened the door, she saw both her sisters conversing in low tones.
Andromeda shot to her feet the minute she saw Narcissa.
She gasped, and then spun round to Bellatrix, her brows furrowed with anger. “You drugged our sister?”
“Relax, Andy,” Bellatrix drawled, “She’s completely fine.”
“You’re hopeless!”
“Andy, you’re being ridiculous.”
“Our eleven-year-old sister is high, because of you !” Andromeda shrieked.
Suddenly, nothing seemed funny anymore. Narcissa wanted everything back to the way it was before. Andromeda’s screams escalated louder and louder until it was clear that they weren’t arguing about her anymore, yet Narcissa couldn’t help but feel like she was to blame.
“Fucking hell Andy! Like you even care about anything other than your stupid boyfriend.”
“This has nothing to do with him,” Andy seethed.
Narcissa sat down, with her eyes closed, muttering under her breath, “Tonjours pur, tonjours pur.”
“I hate everyone in this shitty excuse for a family! I hate you!”
Tonjours pur.
“Why don’t you go live with him then? Leave me and Cissy for a fucking boy!”
Tonjours pur.
“Why don’t you go live with Rodolphus and his creepy purist family! I bet you’d love it if me and Cissy were just like him.”
Tonjours pur.
“Atleast I actually give a shit about what happens to you and Cissy. At least I’m loyal-“
Tonjours pur.
“At least I know how to love!”
Tonjours pur.
“I’d rather love no one than a filthy mudblood!”
Andromeda stormed out of the carriage first, cursing under her breath.
Bellatrix screamed, punched the window causing glass shards to fall to the ground, and then left as well.
Narcissa was left alone to pick up the broken pieces of the glass and the broken pieces of herself.
Tonjours pur.