A Little Less Alone

Beth had been doing her best to ignore it. Whatever this was, whatever stupid little feeling had started creeping in—she wasn’t giving it room to grow, she had told herself over and over again, this was nothing. She and Viv had just been spending more time together. That was normal—they had always been friendly, but now that Viv was going through a breakup, of course, Beth was around more. That’s what friends do.

She liked being there for her, the easy banter, the quiet moments, the way Viv seemed more relaxed around her lately, that didn’t mean anything. Right?

Beth exhaled, shaking her head at herself as she scrolled through her phone, mindlessly flipping between apps—anything to distract herself. But it was getting harder and harder to ignore. Because it wasn’t just her anymore. It was Viv too.

They were spending so much time together now that even the others had noticed.

And today was no different.

Beth glanced down at her texts, rereading the message from Viv.

📲 Viv: You’re coming to mine tonight for dinner.

📲 Beth: Oh am I?

📲 Viv: Yes. You always make me go to yours. It’s only fair.

📲 Beth: Excuse me, I invite you. You just keep showing up.

📲 Viv: And now I’m inviting you. So shut up and say yes.

📲 Beth: Alright, alright. What’s on the menu, chef?

📲 Viv: Something better than what you make.

📲 Beth: So frozen pizza? Got it.

📲 Viv: Beth.

📲 Beth: Fine, I’ll be there.

Beth sighed, locking her phone and tossing it onto the couch, she was probably overthinking this Viv was just inviting her over for dinner, nothing strange about that.

Except…

Except Beth had a weird feeling in her chest that wouldn’t go away, because the closer they got, the harder it was to pretend she didn’t feel something.

The moment Beth stepped onto Viv’s porch, the rich, warm scent of something home-cooked filled the air, wrapping around her like a comforting embrace. It was the kind of smell that made her pause for a moment, eyes fluttering shut briefly as she tried to place it, something familiar yet unexpected. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t frozen pizza.

Knocking on the door, she barely had time to process the delicious aroma before the door swung open, revealing Viv standing there with the brightest smile Beth had seen on her in weeks, maybe even months. Her whole face was lit up with something lighter, freer, and Beth found herself smiling back almost instinctively, caught off guard by just how happy she looked.

“Heyyy,” Viv greeted, her voice full of warmth, almost giddy in a way Beth wasn’t used to.

Beth, stepping inside, arched an eyebrow at her, still smiling as she shut the door behind her. “Hey. What’s got you so happy?”

Viv turned to her with that same beaming expression, the kind Beth didn’t see often enough. “The house,” she said simply, as if that explained everything. “It’s finally just mine.”

Beth barely had time to react before her body moved on instinct, stepping forward and wrapping Viv into a hug, pulling her in without a second thought. It wasn’t like the casual shoulder bumps or the teasing nudges they shared; this was real, full, grounding, the kind of hug that said more than words ever could. She felt Viv hesitate for a split second, probably surprised, before she softened into it, her hands resting hesitantly against Beth’s back.

Beth hadn’t realized how tightly she was holding on until she suddenly became aware of it, of the way her body had leaned into Viv’s warmth, of how natural it felt to just stay there. Realizing it might be too much, she pulled back quickly, clearing her throat and trying to act like she hadn’t just impulsively clung to her. She rubbed her hands against her jeans, forcing an easy smirk onto her face. “So… is that why you invited me over?”

Viv had already started walking toward the kitchen, completely unfazed, and just glanced over her shoulder with an easy shrug. “Yeah,” she admitted, then added casually, “And also because I just wanted you to come over.”

Beth blinked at that, watching as Viv moved effortlessly through her own space. She had said it like it was nothing, like it was just a given that she wanted Beth here, and maybe that was what caught Beth off guard the most.

Viv disappeared into the kitchen, talking as she went. “I always go to your house, and now, since the house is actually just mine, I thought you could start coming over more.”

Beth found herself smiling before she could stop it, warmth spreading through her chest at the thought. She liked that answer—Viv wanting her to come over more, Viv wanting her around, Viv thinking of this place as somewhere Beth should be.

Following her into the kitchen, she grinned as she inhaled the mouthwatering scent again. “So… what smells so good? Because it’s definitely not frozen pizza.”

Viv turned to face her fully now, a small, pleased smirk playing on her lips. “It’s your favorite.”

Beth frowned slightly in confusion, before realization hit her all at once. Her eyes widened as she stared at Viv, mouth falling open slightly. “You did not—”

Viv stepped aside, revealing the perfect, golden-brown Sunday roast sitting on the counter, steam still rising from it, and Beth actually gasped, staring between Viv and the meal like she had just witnessed some kind of miracle.

“Oh my god, Vivianne, you are amazing,” she breathed, eyes still wide in shock.

Viv let out a small laugh, amused by her reaction. “I thought you might like it,” she admitted, leaning casually against the counter, watching Beth’s over-the-top amazement with mild amusement. “You told me you haven’t had one in a while.”

Beth, still staring at the meal like it was the most incredible thing she’d ever seen, shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you actually made this. Like, you went through the effort of making a whole Sunday roast. For me.”

Viv rolled her eyes, though there was something undeniably fond in her expression. “I can cook, Beth.”

Beth nodded slowly, still processing. “Yeah, but you did this. For me.”

Viv met her gaze, something quieter behind her smirk now. “Yeah.”

Beth swallowed, suddenly feeling a little too warm, a little too aware of something she wasn’t quite ready to name. Thankfully Viv broke the moment,“Wait—why do you keep calling me that?”

Beth blinked. “Calling you what?”

Beth grinned, tilting her head as she exaggerated the way Beth had been saying her name. “Vivianne,” she enunciated, emphasizing the soft e at the end just to be annoying.

Beth huffed a small laugh, shaking her head. “Because that’s your name?”

Viv smirked. “Yeah, but you say it like you’re scolding me.”

Beth raised an eyebrow, clearly amused but not letting her win that easily. “You are giving me reasons to". She grinned, crossing her arms. “It’s fun calling you something different. Besides, it’s pretty.”

Viv’s smirk softened slightly, something unreadable flickering in her expression before she admitted, “I don’t mind when you say it.”

Beth froze for a second longer than she meant to, feeling something shift for just a moment before Viv, breaking the tension without even realizing it, motioned toward the table.

“Come on, sit down. Let’s eat.”

Beth exhaled, nodding as she slid into her seat, a slow smile creeping back onto her face. Yeah. This was getting harder.

Beth leaned back into the couch, still shaking her head in mock disbelief as she patted her stomach. “I’m actually speechless, Viv. I don’t think I’ve eaten that well in ages.”

Viv, sitting beside her, chuckled, stretching her legs out slightly. “I told you it would be edible.”

“Edible?” Beth scoffed, turning her head to face her. “That was a full-on masterpiece. You could open a bloody restaurant.”

Viv laughed, shaking her head. “Now you’re just being dramatic.”

Beth grinned, leaning her head back against the cushions. “No, really. I might have to start coming here every Sunday.”

Viv smirked. “See, now I regret making it. You’re going to expect this every week, aren’t you?”

Beth turned to her with the most serious expression she could manage. “Vivianne, I hate to break it to you, but you’ve set a standard now. I don’t think you can just go back to frozen pizza after this.”

Viv rolled her eyes, but her smile lingered. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

They settled into a comfortable quiet, the kind that came so naturally between them now. Beth still felt warm from the meal, from the laughter, from just being here.

Then, out of nowhere, Viv shifted beside her, straightening up slightly. “Oh—before I forget, I have something for you.”

Beth blinked, turning toward her, eyebrows raised. “What do you mean, you have something for me?”

Viv was already pushing off the couch, walking toward the entrance. “A gift.”

Beth narrowed her eyes, watching her curiously. “A gift? Why?”

Viv glanced over her shoulder as she reached for a small bag sitting near the door, her expression relaxed, casual. “Why not?” she shrugged. “I just thought you’d like it.”

Beth sat up properly now, watching as Viv came back over, handing her the small bag.

Beth hesitated for a second before taking it, her fingers brushing against Viv’s for a moment longer than necessary.

Pulling out the gift, she found herself staring at a deck of cards. But not just any cards—a new set of personal question cards, different from the ones they had played with at her place.

Beth’s eyes lifted slowly, meeting Viv’s gaze.

Viv, standing in front of her, looked almost unsure for the first time all night. “Well,” she started, scratching the back of her neck, “I know you like these games, and you already played through your own, so I figured you’d enjoy this one. The questions are different.”

Beth was still staring at her, still processing.

She wasn’t sure why her chest felt tight all of a sudden, why this simple, thoughtful gift made something shift in her.

Beth forced a small smile, something softer than usual. “You really didn’t have to do this.”

Viv shrugged, playing it off, but Beth could see the way she was watching her now, like she was trying to gauge her reaction. “It’s not a big deal,” she said simply.

Beth was still holding the cards, turning them over in her hands, her voice coming out quieter than she meant it to. “No, it’s just… sweet.”

Viv’s eyes flickered slightly at the word, her body still, her hands tucked into the pockets of her hoodie.

Then she exhaled, a small chuckle escaping her. “So, you didn’t like it then? You can return it if—”

Before she could finish, Beth reached forward, grabbing her hand without thinking.

“No, no, no,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “I like it. I really do.”

Viv froze completely.

Beth felt it immediately, the way Viv stiffened at the touch, the way their eyes locked for a second too long.

Beth suddenly became very aware of her own hand still wrapped around Viv’s.

She swallowed, and before it could get too much, she quickly let go, looking away as she cleared her throat.

“Well,” she said, forcing a grin as she ripped open the deck, “you can’t run away now. Let’s play.”

Viv, still watching her, blinked like she was snapping out of something, then huffed a quiet laugh, shaking her head as she dropped back onto the couch.

Beth wasn’t sure what just happened.

Beth shuffled the deck between her hands, her smirk growing as she watched Viv sink a little deeper into the couch. “Alright, let’s see what we’ve got.”

Viv raised an eyebrow, arms crossed but still looking ridiculously relaxed for someone who just gifted Beth a game full of deeply personal questions. “If I regret this, I’m blaming you.”

Beth laughed. “Oh, you should. Absolutely.” She pulled a card and read it dramatically.

"If you could relive any day in your life, exactly as it happened, which one would you pick?"

Viv paused, her expression shifting into something more thoughtful. She let out a small breath, staring at the ceiling for a second before answering. “The Euro final,” she said, her voice quieter. “Not because of the win, though. It was more about the moment after… when everything was over, and we were just sitting there, the whole team, knowing we had done it. It was… the happiest I think I’ve ever been.”

Beth, listening, felt something in her chest tighten—not just at Viv’s words, but at the way she spoke them, like she was reliving it in her head.

“That’s a good one,” Beth said, softer now. “I get that.”

Viv looked over at her. “What about you?”

Beth hummed, pretending to think before flashing a grin. “Probably my first professional goal. Or, I don’t know, maybe that time I destroyed Man United and you were forced to admit I was better than you.”

Viv rolled her eyes. “I never said that.”

Beth smirked. “Not out loud.”

Viv shook her head, but Beth caught the tiny smile she tried to hide.

Beth pulled the next card, her grin widening immediately.

“Oh, this one’s good.” She cleared her throat, trying to sound as serious as possible. "What’s your favorite position?"

Viv blinked way too fast, her lips parting slightly before she immediately looked away.

Beth nearly lost it.

Viv shifted on the couch, suddenly looking like she wanted to sink into it. “On the pitch?” she asked, attempting to sound neutral.

Beth leaned in slightly, her grin full of mischief. “Oh no, it means exactly what you think it means.”

Viv groaned, pressing her fingers against her forehead. “I hate this game.”

Beth laughed, but there was a warmth in her chest watching Viv get flustered.

“Come on, you gotta answer,” Beth teased, nudging her foot. “Fair’s fair.”

Viv exhaled sharply, shaking her head. “Jesus Christ…” She took a deep breath, then mumbled, “I guess… top.”

Beth’s eyebrows shot up.

Viv immediately regretted speaking, her face turning a deep shade of red as she buried her face in her hands. “Oh my god.”

Beth, absolutely thriving, bit her lip dramatically. “Vivianne Miedema,” she gasped, hand over her heart. “I never would have guessed.”

Viv groaned louder, shaking her head. “I swear to god, if you ever—”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll be very professional at training,” Beth teased, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Now, my turn.”

Viv scoffed, crossing her arms again, trying to regain composure. “Go on, then.”

Beth pretended to think, tilting her head. “Hmm. I’d say…” She took her time, watching as Viv squirmed slightly, waiting. Then, flashing a grin—“Against a wall.”

Viv choked on absolutely nothing.

Beth bit her lip to stop from laughing.

Viv stared at her, her brain visibly short-circuiting, before muttering, “You’re impossible.”

Beth winked, feeling way too pleased with herself. “I prefer confident.”

Viv covered her face again, shaking her head. “Why did I invite you here?”

Beth grinned, reaching for another card. “Because you love my company. Next question.”

Viv sighed, dragging a hand down her face. “If it’s anything like that last one, I’m leaving.”

Beth laughed but flipped the card over anyway.

"What’s something you’ve never told anyone before?"

The mood shifted slightly—not uncomfortably, but enough for both of them to recognize it.

Viv hesitated.

Beth waited, her teasing smile fading into something more patient, more expectant.

Viv exhaled, fingers tapping lightly against the couch. “I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone this, but…” She bit her lip for a second, then admitted, “Sometimes, I’m scared I’ll stop loving football.”

Beth’s stomach twisted slightly at that. “What do you mean?”

Viv shrugged, playing with the hem of her hoodie. “It’s been my whole life for so long. It’s always been the thing that defines me. But sometimes I wonder what happens if one day I wake up and… it’s just not enough anymore.”

Beth didn’t know what to say at first.

She had felt those things before, maybe not in the same way, but she understood the fear of losing something that had always been part of her identity.

Instead of trying to give some perfect answer, she reached over, giving Viv’s knee a small squeeze.

“Well,” Beth said, voice softer than before, “if that day ever comes, you won’t have to figure it out alone.”

Viv’s eyes flicked up to hers, something vulnerable there, something real.

Beth didn’t look away.

The air between them felt different now, heavier, but in a way that wasn’t bad.

After a few seconds, Viv huffed out a breath, shaking her head. “You’re annoyingly good at this game.”

Beth, sensing the shift needed to lighten, smirked. “I know. It’s one of my many talents.”

Viv rolled her eyes, but her expression was softer now.

Beth stared at the card for a second longer than necessary, her fingers idly running along the edge of it. She had been so focused on Viv’s answer, on the weight of it, that she hadn’t even thought about what she’d say. But now, with Viv’s gaze still lingering on her, waiting, expecting, she felt something tighten in her chest.

She swallowed, forcing a small chuckle. “Alright, something I’ve never told anyone before…” She exhaled, tilting her head back against the couch for a second, staring at the ceiling as she searched for something light, something easy, something that wouldn’t make her feel exposed.

But then, before she could stop herself, she said, “I think I’m too much.”

Viv blinked, her head tilting slightly. “What?”

Beth let out a breathy, almost amused huff, but there was nothing funny about the way her stomach clenched as she said it again, this time a little quieter.

“I think I’m too much,” she repeated, her voice steady, but the weight behind it making her feel like she was walking over thin ice.

Viv didn’t say anything immediately, just kept watching her, the playful atmosphere of the game slowly shifting into something heavier, something real.

Beth kept talking before she could think better of it. “I don’t know. I feel like I talk too much, laugh too loud, make jokes at the wrong time. I push too hard, care too much, get jealous too easily. I take up space, and sometimes I think—” She swallowed, shaking her head slightly. “I think maybe people only put up with me because it’s easier than telling me I should just… be less.”

Her voice wavered slightly at the end, and she felt it then—the sting behind her eyes, the familiar pressure she hated acknowledging.

Viv was still staring at her, her expression unreadable, but something in her gaze was… steady. Strong.

Beth let out a soft laugh, wiping at her eyes quickly, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. “Shit, sorry, I wasn’t planning on turning this into therapy—”

Before she could finish, Viv reached out.

Gentle fingers brushed against her cheek, wiping away a stray tear before Beth could.

Beth froze completely.

Viv’s hand lingered for just a second longer than necessary, her thumb barely grazing Beth’s skin before she seemed to realize what she was doing.

But she didn’t pull away immediately.

Neither of them did.

They just… stared at each other.

Beth wasn’t sure if it was one second or ten, but she was suddenly very aware of the way Viv’s palm was still against her cheek, the warmth of it grounding her in a way she hadn’t expected.

The moment stretched between them, the warmth of Viv’s palm still lingering against Beth’s cheek, her thumb barely grazing the skin before she hesitated, seeming to snap out of whatever had just passed between them.

Viv pulled her hand away, fingers curling slightly as she exhaled softly, her gaze flicking away like she was trying to compose herself.

Beth, suddenly needing to do something, anything, glanced at the clock on the wall and cleared her throat, forcing a lightness into her voice. “I should probably get going. It’s late, and I don’t want to bother you.” She shifted slightly like she was about to get up, trying to play it off, but before she could move—

Viv’s hand landed gently on her leg, stopping her.

Beth froze.

Viv’s touch wasn’t firm, wasn’t demanding—just enough to hold her there, just enough to make her stay.

Viv looked at her, her voice soft but steady. “Stay.”

Beth hesitated, caught between the urge to leave before she overthought everything and the pull to stay exactly where she was.

Viv tilted her head slightly, the smallest hint of a smirk playing on her lips as she added, “Come on. It’s late, and I’m not letting you be alone after this.”

Beth swallowed, searching her face, looking for something she didn’t even know how to name.

Still, she wavered, even as she wanted to say yes.

Viv, seeing her hesitation, sighed dramatically and smirked. “You’d actually be doing me a favor, you know.”

Beth narrowed her eyes. “A favor?”

Viv leaned back, stretching slightly. “I hate sleeping alone.” She shrugged, her voice light, teasing. “So technically, I’m asking you to help me out here.”

Beth snorted, shaking her head. “Unbelievable. Using guilt to get your way.”

Viv grinned. “Is it working?”

Beth exhaled sharply, rolling her eyes, but she was already settling back into the couch. “Fine. But if I wake up with you kicking me in your sleep, I’m leaving.”

Viv smirked, standing up and motioning for her to follow. “No promises.”

Viv pulled a t-shirt from her drawer and tossed it to Beth, who held it up with a skeptical expression.

“This is massive,” Beth muttered, unfolding it, realizing it was probably at least three sizes too big for her. “Are you trying to drown me in fabric?”

Viv shrugged, already changing into her own sleepwear, completely unfazed. “It’s the smallest one I have.”

Beth gave her a look. “You are a terrible liar.”

Viv smirked, not even trying to argue. “Wear it or sleep in your jeans. Your choice.”

Beth muttered something under her breath but still pulled the t-shirt on, the hem falling almost to her knees, making her look ridiculous but also… comfortable.

Viv, finishing up in the bathroom, flicked off the bedroom light, plunging them into darkness except for the faint glow of the city outside. They both climbed into bed, keeping a reasonable space between them, even if Beth was suddenly aware of how close they actually were.

Silence settled, only the sound of their quiet breathing filling the room.

Beth was staring at the ceiling, trying not to think too much, trying not to feel too much, when—

Viv cleared her throat.

“You know…” Viv’s voice was quieter now, almost hesitant. “You’re not too much.”

Beth’s breath caught slightly.

Viv shifted slightly, turning onto her side, though Beth couldn’t see her in the dark. “I mean, yeah, you talk a lot. And you laugh too loud sometimes. And you joke even when you probably shouldn’t.”

Beth huffed a small, amused breath, rolling her eyes even though Viv couldn’t see it.

Viv hesitated for a second before continuing. “But that’s… not a bad thing.”

Beth swallowed, her chest tightening.

“You make things feel lighter, even when they’re not,” Viv murmured, her voice steady but quiet, like she wasn’t used to saying things like this out loud. “You care too much? Maybe. But that’s not something people put up with, Beth. That’s the reason they stay.”

Beth didn’t know what to say.

She wasn’t sure she could say anything without her voice giving her away.