Secrets in the night

Conversations with the ghosts of each house lead to things I never thought possible. First, I would prefer not to talk to the Bloody Baron in this life or any other. Second, one of my brother's friends was still in Hogwarts as a ghost. Third, my brother was a prankster and a liar. Duncan Ash told me my brother took the blame for R, and was now one of the most feared wizards in Knockturn Alley. I have never been there… and never heard my brother talking about it either. I knew I had to get there, but it would be later than sooner, since I had so much to do in the kitchens.

“I´m sorry, Penny”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I am desperate, but I can see we are doing everything we can". She was the nicest person on earth, and I felt terrible when I saw her eyes filled with sadness. I could recognize those feelings because I saw them every day in my own eyes.

I suddenly felt heavy. Most of the time I could ignore missing my brother with the idea of finding him. Solving the mysteries of the vaults made me feel closer to the version of my brother that came to Hogwarts and got to know how amazing it is. But I never met that version of him, and the fact that I could pretend I did by following his steps was sadder than I gave it credit for.

“I promised you we would take her out of it, and we will. We are missing something, but I can figure out what is it”

“I trust you, but it's getting late and we are not going to that murderous place” I was certain she was never going to be there, but I wouldn't tell her that.

“I need like a lifetime of sleeping” I said once I entered my bedroom and spotted Rowan covering herself. She had already taken her glasses off.

“You need to rest, the OWL is coming “ I stopped halfway on my way to the closet. I had not thought about it since the year started. It even sounded like a foreign thing. Studying for it was not even on my list of priorities at the moment.

“I'll help you study if you want” It was like Rowan read my mind.

“You are the best”, I said, smiling at her. She was what kept me from losing my mind over the vaults. Like a link between madness and my normal-daily life.

“You said it, not me”

***

I needed to sleep. My eyes were hurting, but my mind kept going back and forth to Knockturn Alley and its connection to Jacob.

I decided to open my window and fly to the gardens. I wanted some fresh air before getting too much in my head. I already couldn't sleep without feeling guilty, and this helped… most of the time.

When I transformed back from my animagus form I stretch my legs and arms.

“So… you come here often?” I slowly looked for that familiar voice.

“I do” I replied knowing the owner of the voice must be grinning. We started a somewhat comfortable, somewhat awkward silence. Talbott was looking directly at me and I started to feel my cheeks burning. When he finally spoke I didn't know how to reply.

“I've been thinking about the other night” he walked to steps closer to me. I resisted the temptation to take two steps backwards. “You asked me why I kept not talking to you. I did have an answer, but didn´t want you to feel pressured by it”.

What on earth was he talking about?

“You know I prefer not to talk about my feelings. It's easier to not deal with them than talking about them, because saying things out loud makes them more real”.

“I asked you to keep being friends, and you didn't reply to it. I figured you didn't like to be around me anymore”

“I know André liked you… and Barnaby as well, maybe they still do” I was sure I missed something between my complaint and his answer. André and Barnaby liking me was not a surprise since both of them have made it clear since last year, but I just couldn't understand what that had to do with everything else. A few weeks back Ismelda had told Barnaby she fancied him and so far things didn't change much.

“They are my friends, Talbott. Just like you are”.

“We have been on dates”.

“So…?”

“ I can't believe you are going to make me say it”

“ Say what? You are not making any sense” I came to the gardens to relax and forget about everything.

“I got jealous. Barnaby is a sweet guy, and he is always helping you with things, he also tells you how he feels every time. André plays quidditch with you, so you spend a lot of time together in the field, he has gifted you with the most beautiful outfits…”

“Wait, wait… Why would you get jealous?”

“Because I feared if you went out with them you were going to realize I was just a traumatized guy who was socially awkward, and was so nervous for screwing things up with you to the point that my hands will start to sweat”

“Are you implying you like me?”

“Not just implying…” I could hear the frustration in his voice. “This is what I mean, I cannot even tell you I like you straight to your face”.

“Oh, Talbott… I like you too”. He raised his head and looked at me. If my cheeks were pink before, I was pretty sure I had a full red glow now. “Where does this leave us?” I asked.

“We have time to figure it out”, He replied smiling. It was the first time I saw him fully smiling, and my heart sank. “What would you think about meeting in the quidditch field tomorrow's night?”

“I would love it”.

“Good” He said and slowly disappeared in the shadows.

So… we grew apart because he thought he had no chance against our friends. He was so wrong, though. Even if I didn't want to… I only had eyes for Talbott. While I returned to my bed I felt a tiny bit of guilt. Tonight was the only moment since the start of the year that my brain shut completely off about the vaults, R, my brother, Beatriz and Voldemort. Guilt grew stronger when I realized I liked not having all that barging to carry.