Our Visions Of Colours

Peter stopped beside Lily and tried to swallow down his loud panting. She was gasping for air too, but he was still a little embarrassed.

“Where the fuck is he? Bloody wanker”, she snarled and Peter didn’t even try to answer.

She seemed mostly angry, but Peter was only worried. James and him had had a talk about Remus only days earlier. That poor lad was clearly not okay.

Peter was pretty sure they weren’t allowed to be this far from the school but they were young and they were fast despite their questionable breathing after running just now. They weren’t stopped by anyone.

“Remus!”, Lily yelled and kicked a tree with her chunky boot. Her thigh jiggled with the impact, more fat than muscle visible.

“I don’t think he’ll answer”, Peter coughed out a moment later, bracing his hands against his knees and squeezing his eyes shut.

Lily didn’t even bother answering.

“He wouldn’t”, she mumbled and her gaze got more and more determined and scared simultaneously as time went on.

“Wouldn’t what?”, Peter dared ask only to be met by the aching feeling of it being like he was talking to a wall.
Lily gasped for air a few more seconds and then started to stomp away again and Peter, in his mind, had no choice but to follow.

She was a real… force? Power? Peter wasn’t sure how to describe it. He admired Lily, that much he knew. She was determined and unstoppable and at the same time he had seen how loving she could be and how peaceful she looked while drumming away with her fingers on the edge of a table. He knew it was love, love for Remus, that was driving her further now.

Peter thought that if he could find someone who would love him even half as much as Lily loved Remus he’d die a happy man.

“Lily maybe he’s already back at the castle?”, he suggested as they slowed down once again to catch their breath, feeling the burn in their lungs and throat make their whole bodies ache.

“He’s not”, she said, completely convinced and also answering him for once, “they would’ve told me if he were. Someone would’ve sent an owl if they’d found him.”

Peter wasn’t so sure of that. The people he considered friends and housemates were loving and intense and honestly really good people. But observant? Thoughtful in this way? Not so much, from his experience anyway.
He only trusted James to maybe think of doing that. He didn’t know Mary. None of them really knew Mary yet.

“Okay but what if he’s on his way back?”, Peter tried again and rested his shoulder against a large tree, eyes narrowing just to block out the moonlight.

“Could you please just… just trust me on this, okay? Trust that I know him a lot better than you do”, she said and Peter didn’t argue, couldn’t argue. She did know Remus better. Peter and the rest of his friends had only known Remus for about two months. Lily had known him for six years.
She was right.

Lily turned in circles, staring up at the leaves. The moon shone brightly and strongly, drowning out the light of the stars closest to it.

“He’s not up there, you know”, Peter joked. It wasn’t his fault - he was stressed and so he made jokes. Really that was kind of Sirius’ fault. They’d influenced each other enough to strengthen that instinct until it was indestructible. “Not hiding in the sky.”

Lily threw a mean glance at him and then kept her eyes up on the moon and the stars. They were far away. Too far. They would never be close enough.

Just as Peter was about to break the pressing silence and suggest they went back and asked for help or waited until Remus came back, a faint scream echoed in the far distance.

Lily tensed up immediately, all senses sharpened and focused.

Screams, plural. Again and again.

“Remus?!”, she shouted back carefully. And then there were no screams anymore, only a loud and lonely howl. Followed by muffled but grotesque growls.

“Remus!”, Lily screamed and set off, faster than Peter had ever seen her run before, her feet thumping into the ground like raindrops against asphalt.

“Remus! Come on Remus! Where are you?! REMUS!”

Peter did his best to keep up.

❍

Mary rolled them around, pinning Marlene to the ground and grinning down at her.

“Hot”, Marlene said and a blush too faint to be visible in the moonlight spread over Mary’s cheeks. Her temporary distraction became her downfall as Marlene threw them around again and got a hold on Mary that was impossible to break out of.

“Fine!”, Mary groaned and gave up. “You win.”

Marlene sprung up from the ground with a beaming grin, so bright it was almost blinding.

Marlene was close enough to the sun, honestly. Mary still missed it, but something about having pressure applied to her body like this when they were wrestling was calming to her. It no longer felt like her chest was trying to run away from her when it was held firmly in place with a knee, an arm, a body.
Pressing her down, down, down.

Their clothes were ruined and their bodies dirty and bruised. But Marlene was smiling and Mary wasn’t as stressed as she usually was during this time of the day.

Until.

Until it wasn’t allowed to last any longer because a blonde girl came running over the grounds, hair in two braids put up into a ponytail. Somehow she managed to pull it off.

“Hi!”, she shouted before she was even within a proper distance. “You know Lily, right?”

Marlene nodded where she was standing slightly crouched like she was either seconds away from offering Mary her hand to be pulled up or to throw herself down over Mary to shield her from whatever evil there could possibly be.

Mary wasn’t entirely sure which one she’d prefer.

“Yeah, why?”, Marlene said, wrinkle between her eyebrows.

“I can’t find her, do you know where she is? I’m Emmeline. Vance. It’s about Alice.”

Mary was not entirely sure who Alice was but decided that she wanted to find out.

“Haven’t seen her since lunch”, she admitted and Emmeline’s eyes flicked down to her instead of being stuck on Marlene.

“Shit”, Emmeline grumbled and turned to go the other way.

“What’s wrong with Alice?”, Mary asked before the opportunity left her behind.
Emmeline turned back, a chunky white bracelet wrapped around her wrist.

“Maybe that’s not our business, Mary”, Marlene suggested. Not in a rude way or to interfere but just to relieve the pressure off of Emmeline in case it was sensitive information.

Mary didn’t really care to be honest, she was curious and although she wanted Emmeline and Alice to be okay and everything this was a way to judge the character of Lily without having to directly interact with her.

Lily’s friends would say a lot about her. Mary knew this because Marlene’s friends said a lot about her, and Marlene being Mary’s friend said a lot about Mary.

“Thank you but it’s okay, maybe you could help? I was going to ask Lily because she’s a Gryffindor but so are you so…”

Marlene settled for the option of pulling Mary up off the ground and Mary felt electricity purring away under her skin where their hands met.

“Show us?”, she suggested and Emmeline nodded and turned away to start jogging back towards the castle.

“You want to meet new people now?”, Marlene asked. Mary had a hard time figuring out the real intent behind Marlene’s questions sometimes. There always seemed to be a lot more going on inside of that fake blonde head than she let on.
Sometimes Mary was convinced that Marlene was a legitimate genius in disguise.

“You say it like I’m trying to cheat on you”, Mary said and maybe somewhere inside that lonely heart of hers she hoped that was what Marlene had meant.

“Not like that”, Marlene laughed, “I just meant that you haven’t really been wanting to before.”
Mary ignored the cold, slow disappointment filling her veins like blue and grey syrup.

“Yeah, well. People aren’t always what you think”, she said. Hoping that potentially genius mind of Marlene’s would understand. Maybe not now, but eventually.
Maybe.
Hopefully.

Mary picked up her pace and Marlene kept up perfectly as they followed after Emmeline.

Mary pretended like she didn’t glance over at Marlene more than necessary.

❍

“Jackpot!”, Sirius whispered a little too loudly but James didn’t try to quiet them down a bit. The kitchen personnel were really nice actually and none of the ones who had noticed them so far had tried to throw them out or been rude.

The jackpot? Candy.

Lots and lots of candy.

And this is the part where you ask, couldn’t they just poof some together from nothingness with those fancy wands of theirs?
Yes, technically they could’ve.

But this was muggle candy. Actual real muggle candy. From real muggle factories.

And that’s what they’d been trying to find ever since Remus managed to secretly order some. James had no idea how Remus had done it but he felt a certain pride over it and, naturally, a whole fucking lot of excitement.
Maybe this would make Remus feel a little bit better. It certainly seemed to make Sirius happy.

“Remember not to eat any of the blue pieces”, she said while pressing her finger into James’ chest with a face as serious as stone.

“No eating the blue candy”, James nodded, “got it.”
As if they hadn’t gone over that like fifteen times in the last hour.

The blue candies were for Remus and Lily only.

James stuffed his pockets with as much as he could and pretended like he didn’t notice all of the pink candies that disappeared into Sirius’ mouth.
Their favorite color was pink.

James’ favorite color was orange. And green. And bright yellow. And brown. And red. And…

“Here.” Sirius slammed a bucket into James’ chest and made a very vague gesture that James understood solely due to the superhuman connection the two of them had.
James stuffed the bucket under his thick red sweater and Sirius grabbed two other ones and hid them in her jacket.

They couldn’t grab everything, obviously.

Two eleven year olds only had that much space on them to hide stuff. They would’ve gotten more with them if they’d have their partners in crime.

But Peter and Marlene had abandoned them and so it was only James and Sirius.

Which honestly would make their escape so much easier.
Sirius was a master at moving soundlessly and had the ability to charm his way out of any and every situation.
James… well James was James. And that seemed to work for some reason.

They made their escape a smooth one, pressing close to benches and walls, avoiding the personnel like expert spies. Sirius had had a lot of training of course. And through her, so had James.

There was no stopping them.

And as they reached the top of the stairs in complete silence and finally started to run towards Gryffindor tower they broke out into wide grins and loud laughter.

❍

Lily kept running.

Running and running and running.

Oh how she hated running, it was the worst activity she could think of. Always left her all sweaty and with aching muscles and burning throat and lungs.

On top of that she was screaming. So loudly that her voice broke more often than not.

“REMUS!”

The desperation scared even herself, but not as much as the possibilities running through her head did. Even faster than her.
“Please, Remus!”

Lily had lost Peter. He was gone and had been for a while now. She felt a little bit guilty about it but she hoped and decided to believe that he had returned to the castle like he’d suggested before.

If she started to worry too much about him she’d lose focus and she couldn’t afford to do that. Not when Remus needed her.

She could hear the howls and growls of whatever creature was out there. The screeches of pain and anger and pure animalistic rage. And not a single sound from Remus anymore.

Lily was crying. She pretended like she wasn’t but the tears were there, being blinked out of her eyes at a rapid pace to keep her vision clear. Her screams were equal parts sobs.

“Remus please”, she begged as she kept running. Everything hurt and the hurt only worsened step after step.

What would she ever do without him? What if she was too late?

Lily had to stop for a few seconds to throw up.

❍

Peter stumbled blindly through the forest, having lost Lily long ago. He didn’t know where she’d gone but the moment he found his way back to the castle he’d find James and Sirius and Marlene and then they could all help find her again. Her and Remus. And hopefully they would never even get near the creature with the grotesque sounds.

Peter screeched to a halt before a tree, a dark one almost black. It had slashes from claws in it. Deep and rough.

Peter felt sorry for the tree, that slash must have been so indescribably painful. He was happy it wasn’t him, though.

But it might be, soon, unless he could find his way out of this bloody labyrinth of a forest.

Peter kept making his way through the trees but kept a significantly slower pace than Lily definitely did. Assuming she was still alive.
But she was. Of course she was.
Because if she wasn’t…

Peter ignored the faint feeling and kept walking. His shoes were soaked through and if the clock hadn’t hit twelve yet it sure would within the hour. It was pitch black.

Most of the stars were covered by a thick layer of clouds.
The sun was long gone.

Only the moon shone brightly in the middle of the sky, completely untouched by the clouds. A beacon in the darkness.

Peter swallowed thickly and felt the cold creep on even tighter. It felt like it had buried itself deep into his bone marrow at this point.

Why did he ever decide to follow Lily out here? He hadn’t even managed to stay with her the entire way. He should’ve stayed back. He should’ve found a way to make her stay back with him.
But it was Remus.
It was Remus.

❍

Marlene almost threw up. Almost.
“What on earth…?”

Alice’s body was covered in something that looked like dark purple moss. Growing on the inside. Like enormous bruises but not bruises.

“Yeah”, Emmeline breathed.

“You’re a Ravenclaw aren’t you?”, Mary asked and the grip on Marlene’s hand was so tight it hurt.

“Uh-huh”, Emmeline agreed and didn’t seem to be able to look away from Alice. Luckily the poor kid was unconscious. Those “bruises” looked painful.

“Then… then how did you…?” Mary had to look away and Marlene couldn’t blame her one bit seeing as she herself hadn’t thrown a single glance at Alice’s upper body since they stepped inside the hospital wing.

“Found them in the library. Thought they were dead there for a second but as it turns out they’re still alive.”
Marlene noticed the slow but steady rise and fall of their stomach through the clean, white covers of the hospital bed.

“Good”, she said and felt her eyebrows wrinkle up. “How long will she be… like that?”

Emmeline shrugged and looked like she was about to cry.
“I don’t know. Madam Pomfrey should be back any second now. She said… she said it would be okay. Soon. I don’t know what soon means.”

Mary kept a strong hold on Marlene’s hand as she stepped forward to wrap an arm around Emmeline’s shoulders.

That seemed like it broke some kind of a brick wall around the poor girl cause she started to properly sob and grabbed Mary like she’d fall apart without her.

Marlene felt kinda weird just standing there and watching with the half-dead Alice in the hospital bed before them but Mary’s hand in hers kept her put.

No, this wasn’t something that had happened because of something in Gryffindor tower. No strange food or scents or anything like that, none that Mary and herself had stumbled upon anyway. They didn’t recognize any of it.

And by Merlin’s beard was Marlene relieved by that.
It looked like… like a plague of some kind and honestly it felt rather dangerous to be this close since they didn’t know if it could spread and how.

Emmeline had already been close seeing as she was the one who found Alice’s body in the library but Marlene? Mary?

The bruises looked painful but Marlene could handle pain. And it wasn’t that Mary couldn’t, because she definitely could and they both knew that. But Marlene was supposed to protect her. Marlene was supposed to keep Mary safe because if she couldn’t do that then… then what?

So, slowly and discreetly Marlene backed away from the bed and pulled on Mary’s hand until they too stepped back, Emmeline still sobbing and crying violently.
Clinging on for dear life.

Marlene wondered how it would feel to find ones own life dear.

She knew how it felt to find others lives dear, she’d do anything for Mary, anything for Sirius and James and Peter.

But for herself? Her own life? Marlene’s survival had more to do with stubbornness and spite than because she held herself dear.

“They mean a lot to you, don’t they?”, Mary mumbled carefully and stroke her free hand over Emmeline’s hair. Soft. Caring.

Marlene could be caring. Being soft was harder, but she tried. She tried.

Emmeline was crying too hard to answer with words but she nodded her head into Mary’s shoulder, fingertips pressing hard into her back.

“Then let’s make sure they’ll be okay. We’ll stay here until Madam Pomfrey comes back. And then we’ll decide what to do after that, okay?”

Marlene wondered what it was like to be like Mary. All soft and caring and careful. Trying so hard all of the time.
Marlene tried hard too of course but not in the same way. Not like Mary. They were different and that was beautiful. Mary was beautiful.

“Come here, let’s sit down, shall we?”
Mary slowly stepped forward, holding almost the entire weight of Emmeline up, and then sat down carefully in an armchair next to Alice’s bed. Emmeline crawled up in Mary’s lap and kept clinging on, heaving and sobbing and crying so hard her shoulders were shaking.

Marlene knew that there was nothing to say to make any of it better so she just sat down on the floor next to the armchair and looped and arm around Mary’s leg.

More for her own comfort than anything else.

And then they waited.

❍

Pandora rolled out of bed before she was even fully awake, heart beating fast and sweat seeping through her green pajamas.

It was just a dream. And yet…
And yet.

Pandora got up off the floor in the blink of an eye and slammed into her bedroom door hard enough for it to swing open so fast the handle made a dent in the wooden wall.

There was something very wrong, and it wasn’t about her. Not yet. It was about that boy, the one Regulus’ brother used to hang out with. Peter.

Pandora rushed down the stairs, hand sliding down the rail and catching splinters in her fingertips.

Bare feet on creaking steps and only seconds later, on wet grass. Colder than ice, really. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t even fully winter yet, it was freezing. Good thing Pandora had a lot of great contact with the cold, having spoken to it many times. It wouldn’t harm her. It would protect her, if needed.

Pandora’s braids lay heavy on her shoulders, bouncing as she disappeared into the thick forest where she spent most of her time. It was dark and the sky was cloudy with only a few clear spots here and there.

Stars.

Not Regulus though, she couldn’t find him there among the thick layer of black night and grey clouds.
The moon’s faded light made the stars closest to it difficult to see as well. Pandora felt a lot of… doom? Catastrophe? Pain?

Something was not like it was supposed to be and people were getting hurt, both of old past memories and of current happenings.

-

The glade was still and quiet, no flowers or leaves at this time of year.

Pandora snapped her fingers desperately, over and over and over, while talking normally like nothing was wrong.
She knew the fairies liked her voice.

She just desperately hoped that they weren’t all sleeping or had moved away over the winter season.

But no. There. In the tree right before her.
A blue and grey one, and behind it there was a purple and silver one.

Pandora spoke fast, keeping eye contact and making sure to include compliments and appreciation into her words. She smiled while talking, even laughed at a couple of gestures the purple one made.

And then they were off, flying away from her and in between the thick, heavy trees.

The cold became more and more invasive, numbing her toes and making her shiver. She knew it didn’t mean to hurt her, but it was uncomfortable still.
So Pandora left the cold outside.

She turned around and rushed back through the forest, ran back through the meadow and into the creaking house where her father stood at the bottom of the stairs with worry written in the wrinkles of his forehead.

And a blanket held in his scarred old hands.

And Pandora smiled through the anxious emotions wreaking havoc in her stomach.

❍

It was empty when Sirius and James returned to the dorm.

Remus wasn’t there and neither was Peter.

Sirius’ had a pretty good poker face. He’d had to learn through experiences he’d rather forget. So she didn’t show James the confusion or slight worry.

“The girls’ dorm”, they just said and James nodded and then they were out of there, leaving the candy stuffed under pillows and blankets so no intruders could easily find it.

Down the stairs, through the common room where people were all dressed up and laughing and scaring each other, and up the stairs.

Knocking, one two three.

There was no answer so Sirius opened the unlocked doors and popped their head inside. And then the rest of him.

And James followed.

And there was no one there.

No Remus or Peter, no Lily or Marlene and no Mary.
“Okay. Well, Lily and Peter must still be looking for Remus then, yeah? And Marlene… her and Mary were outside.”
“That was hours ago”, Sirius interrupted.
“Yes, well, they’re very durable…”
“Stupid, more like”, she muttered and then turned around in slow circles, searching the dorm after something, anything.
But here was nothing.
No clues.

“Should we just sit here and wait?”, they asked and James looked just… so confused.

“How about you wait here and I’ll ask around?”, he suggested. His glasses had slid down his nose to rest almost on the very tip, so he pushed them up again and ran a hand through his messy hair.

“No. No, you can stay and I’ll go look for them”, Sirius said. He didn’t want to be still there alone. She needed to move.

James nodded. “Okay. Make it quick.” And he winked. And Sirius grinned.

Because that’s just what they did, wasn’t it? Always grinning and winking and being an endearing mess. Endearing according to Effie at least.

But there was not a lot of fear when it came to them. So they weren’t scared. They refused to be, because that just wasn’t them.

Fear was something Sirius experienced on her own. Something no one else could see or know of. James knew, of course, but only in the dark of the nights where they were alone and the world wasn’t real.

Sirius left and threw only one glance over his shoulder as she did. James sat down in Marlene’s bed so gently that it looked like he was floating. And then he put his elbows on his knees, head in hands and waited.

And Sirius left.

❍

Lucinda knocked on the door, plastic fangs in her mouth and red lenses in her eyes.

“Dorcas?”, she tried but knew there wasn’t a very big chance of getting an answer. Dorcas had been acting weird for a while now. A couple of weeks, at least. Lucinda didn’t get why but hoped it would pass soon.
Preferably, like, today.

“Come on, Cas.” She knocked again and then rested her forehead against the thick wood.

“I’m sick”, came the answer from the other side of the door.

A lie, of course, but Lucinda played along anyway. She didn’t have the energy to deal with whatever was actually going on. She had her own stuff to deal with too.
“With what?”

“…The flu.”
Another lie.

“I’ll bring up some candy for you”, Lucinda sighed and then left the dark door and walked down the hall of grey, dungeon-smelling stone.

It was cold and Lucinda’s feet hurt from the cramped black boots. Being a vampire wasn’t as fun as she’d thought it would be.

Maybe she should’ve gone with werewolf instead. Or something pretty, like an angel.

Rosalind Bungs was dressed up like an angel when she popped up around the corner like she’d appeared from thin air.

“Luci!”, she exclaimed with a bright and shiny smile. She had some of the whitest teeth in the entire school.

“Rosa”, Lucinda greeted.
Rosalind was a very bubbly person, touchy and always smiling, laughing, beaming. Sometimes Lucinda thought she might be the actual human embodiment of happiness.

She had red hair, ginger, and dark eyes, tanned skin and a square shaped face. Full cheeks that showed dimples when she smiled, which was practically always.
Pretty, outwardly.

“I was looking for you! Me and some of the girls were wondering if you…” Rosalind’s forehead wrinkled up and she looked like a mixture of confused and concerned.

“What?”, Lucinda asked and started to feel rather self conscious under that stare.

“You… Uh, have someone hit you? Were you in a fight? You can tell me, you know. We’re friends, I want to help you in any way I can, especially if you’re in trouble.”

“A fight? What? No. I am perfectly fine, thanks.” Lucinda made an attempt to get past Rosalind, feeling quite offended. She didn’t really get along that well with Rosalind to begin with, although Rosalind never seemed to notice, she was just too… happy all the time. It felt forced and fake.

“No, I’m serious, you’ve got bruises in your face and on your neck.” And finally the smile on her face faded completely. Dimples all gone.

“What?”

“Yeah, here wait.” She started to search through a small white bag hanging over her chubby shoulder. She was rather round, and it suited her. A mirror emerged and with it also a candle which Rosalind lit with a quick flick of her wand.

She was right. Lucinda’s face was almost unrecognizable. A big purple bruise had blossomed over her cheekbone, and another one by her mouth. And… there, in the middle of her throat. And another one at the end of her jaw.

And another one, and another one, and another one.

Lucinda’s heart skipped eight beats and twisted around in a million backflips. Suddenly the floor under her feet felt wobbly, the light turned an unbearable shade of yellow and the walls danced around like they were performing the black swan.

Lucinda screamed.

❍

Emmeline’s hair was soft. Curly, but not curly like Mary’s, more like… princess curls. It was calming to drag her fingers through the blonde strands over and over while Emmeline was slowly calming down, her forehead against Mary’s collarbone.

Marlene had fallen asleep within minutes of sitting down on the floor and Mary felt weird. She felt loved, being so close to both of the blonde girls, but she also felt like they weren’t close enough. Especially Marlene.

She wanted them to crawl under her skin and slither through her veins, to unite with her bones and live inside of her ribcage.

It wasn’t physically possible but she could still want. Mary always wanted.

It felt wrong to be like that. Always wanting more but not being able to ask for it. All anyone ever said was that she should be grateful for what she had. And she was, of course she was, how could she not when Marlene was amongst those things?

But was it so wrong to long for the whole world? To want infinity running through her veins and endlessness to blind her eyes? Stars and galaxies and suns and planets in her skin?
To feel infinite?

It didn’t seem that wrong but Mary still felt guilty. Honestly she kind of always did. She just didn’t always know for what.

Mary was just about to close her eyes and actually try to go to sleep when the door to the infirmary opened and voices boomed in through the hall.

“Please! Get them off of me, please!”, the screams said.
Mary held Emmeline tighter as she turned her head to observe the spectacle.

A girl with black hair, brown skin and some kind of a vampire costume was being half dragged, half carried in. She looked like she was somewhere from the south of Asia.

She also looked like she’d been in a really bad fight.

It was the same thing that plagued Alice in the bed before Mary, the same thing that made her stomach turn every time she looked at the poor kid.
It had spread.

How? Was it airborne? Did it travel by water? Touch? Was Mary catching it right now just by holding Emmeline who had touched Alice?

Marlene didn’t wake up despite the screams and Emmeline didn’t seem to care more than just acknowledge what was going on with a simple nod.

Mary felt torn between sitting still, arms and legs numbing, holding Emmeline and keeping herself in contact with Marlene - or to run off and help the poor girl dressed as an angel and the other one with black braids and dark skin to carry the plagued one to bed.

She let too much time pass before she could truly make her decision, though, because Madam Pomfrey showed up with a red face and calm worry written all over her body.

“Lucinda Talkalot”, she said, like she was just stating a fact, like she was just saying something about the weather.

“I don’t know what happened!”, cried the angel and clung to the third one in the group like the world might end.

“I’ve witnessed it before Rosalind, don’t you worry, she’ll survive.”
Rosalind clung go the third girl’s shoulders, sobs heaving out of her chest and her eyes having gone red at the edges.

The third girl kept her arms tightly around the sobbing angel but looked like she’d rather push away and be alone. Her gaze was fixed on Lucinda in the hospital bed.
Lucinda, who had stopped screaming and now lay panting instead - the hysteria having passed over into something else.

Mary looked away. She couldn’t stand to see the mess of Slytherin girls in pain. She had enough at the moment with the Ravenclaw in her arms.

She thought she might go check up on them later, though, if the opportunity arrived at the right moment.

For now Mary closed her eyes and listened to the breathing, voices and movement around her. She kept stroking Emmeline’s hair, feeling the princess curls slide between her fingers like soft silk.

Halloween sure was interesting this year.

❍

Dorcas sat in a chair by Lucinda’s bed, her head in her hands. This was all her fault somehow. She had no idea how, but it was. She could feel it in her bones.

If Dorcas had just opened the door, if she hadn’t closed herself off from Lucinda, if she just wasn’t allergic to pumpkin…

If, if, if.

Just the word for lost opportunities, shattered dreams and bitter regrets.

Dorcas felt all three hit her like sharp edges of stars. The cosmic ray of fury.

“I’m sorry”, she whispered and curled up in the chair further, knees against chest and face in hands.

Rosalind Bungs had gone to get Lucinda “something nice” for when she would eventually wake up. If she’d wake up at all.

If.

Dorcas didn’t know what “something nice” meant but it was Rosalind so it could be anything from flowers and chocolate to a fully orchestrated choir with rose petals falling from the ceiling.

Rosalind Bungs’ favorite holiday, you ask? Valentine’s day. Not very hard to guess, especially not since the bubbly girl talked about that day at least once a week.

Dorcas wasn’t a big fan of Valentine’s day. Or Christmas. Or Easter. And definitely not Halloween.

Honestly she wasn’t a big fan of holidays in general, if you wanted to celebrate with friends and family you could just pick a random weekend. No need to bring the rest of the country into it.
The rest of the world, almost.

From across the room Dorcas could hear the soft mumbling of a pretty, light-skinned girl with big curly hair and soft features.

There was four of them. The light-skinned girl, a blonde girl with dark roots sleeping on the floor, another blonde girl sitting crawled up in the first girl’s arms - and finally the child in the bed.

Dorcas wondered if that kid had caught the same thing as Lucinda. And if so, would they be able to see Lucinda’s fate in real time before it even happened? Observing the other kid’s “condition” like a crystal window into the future, the unknown that Dorcas would rather keep on not knowing of?

It was a terrifying thought and Dorcas bit her lip hard to stop the tears from streaming. This was not the time nor the place. She never felt like it was the time and place. She never felt like crying was something she didn’t need to hide.

Dorcas rested her head on the very edge of Lucinda’s bed, ear pressed into the sheets and eyes resting absentmindedly on the group on the other side of the room.

And then she realized… Emmeline? Was it…? Could it be?
Dorcas swallowed nervously and carefully got up to step closer, trying to sneak a closer peek without it being obvious.

Yes. It was Emmeline. And in the bed lay Alice. Dorcas felt like she might break down crying and screaming at the quick glance over Alice’s body - Emmeline’s heavy breathing from sobbing violently still echoing in the background.

If that was how Lucinda would look…

Dorcas abruptly turned the other way and slumped down into the chair again, grabbing Lucinda’s hand and pressing the back of it into her forehead. Feeling Lucinda’s cold knuckles against Dorcas’ skin, their pulse under her fingertips.

The faint echo of
you’re alive
you’re alive
you’re alive
and the only reassurance there was to find.

Madam Pomfrey’s promise of it all turning out fine seemed hard to believe sitting in front of the victims. It looked absolutely horrible.

Apparently it was coma inducing, the virus. Lucinda wouldn’t wake up again until she was cured, and neither would Alice.

Two of Dorcas’ friends in a heavy sleep of undetermined length.

Dorcas wondered what the purpose of her was now? Not that she’d felt much purpose before but who was she supposed to sit with in class now? Who was supposed to come up and knock on her door and sit on the other side to talk even though Dorcas wouldn’t open it?

Who was supposed to come running across the great hall just to chat with her even though they were in different houses?

Not Alice and not Lucinda.

Maybe Dorcas could befriend this Rosalind girl just for the time being. Or make her way across the infirmary to talk to the pile of kids that sat there waiting for Alice to wake up.

Dorcas head snapped up when Madam Pomfrey came jogging in through the door again.

“Madam?”, she asked and immediately felt more focused and sure when the woman stopped by the bed to grab Lucinda’s wrist and check the pulse.

“Meadowes”, she replied calmly. She didn’t seem worried about Lucinda but there was a wrinkle between her eyebrows as she checked the watch on her wrist.

It was a pretty one with a ginger cat in the middle and a wand and a golden snitch showing the minutes and hours.
Three AM it said.

Dorcas was so tired but she couldn’t sleep. She was also hungry but there was no food in the hospital wing.

Just as she thought it, Madam Pomfrey threw a caramel across the bed, landing right in front of Dorcas.

“I can’t apologize enough for your halloween being spent here instead of rummaging around eating candy. That’s what I have on me. Eat up, honey.”

Madam Pomfrey smiled softly and then returned to work, rubbing some kind of a salve onto Lucinda’s forehead.

“Thank you”, Dorcas said. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Shock and a warm feeling spread from her heart.

“There’s no pumpkin in it”, Madam Pomfrey added as she turned around to pour a glass of water.

Dorcas’ eyes grew wider. The old wariness set in and she felt a little bit more unsafe with someone knowing about her allergy but for some reason she trusted Madam Pomfrey.

Maybe it was stupid. Maybe not.

Either way Dorcas unwrapped and ate the caramel.

“Thank you Madam Pomfrey”, she said and curled up further in the chair.

“Call me Poppy.”

“Thank you Poppy”, Dorcas corrected herself.

-