hope is fading
"He wasn't sure what he had done. He clung to the animal's neck more on instinct. He didn't know why. He felt extremely guilty, like a monster. He gets up from the ground, blood drops on his legs. He tastes the iron in his mouth. This feeling makes him feel even more dreadful. He believes more in being a monster. What did he do to deserve this? Everything is piling up on him, slowly suffocating him. He feels like there's no oxygen around, as if the air is squeezing him like a rope.
He emerges from the forest, looking around. He doesn't know how much time has passed, but he's sure it's been long. Children are playing around, women are walking with large baskets either to the market or towards the river. The site of the disaster that took his life is gone without a trace. And he hopes it will never come back. He doesn't want anyone to experience what he went through. The children passing by look at him strangely. They scrutinize him and judge him. He inexplicably looks at himself, seeing his torn clothes, dirty, and bare feet. He looks like a beggar. That's the best thing he can say about himself. He doesn't even mention the bloodstains on his pants; he needs to fix that.
He goes to the nearby river where he hears the sound. When he's sure no one sees him, he takes off his clothes and throws himself into the cold water to get rid of the dirty feeling. Instead of making him feel cold, the cold water burns around him. He shivers and slowly gets rid of the dirt on him. As his skin regains its white color, the water turns red and black. He immerses himself, feeling safer this way, as if no one can find him forever. He needs to find out what happened, what day it is, or what happened to him. Maybe everything is right in front of him, but he can't see it. All he needs is a clue. His breath should have been cut off by now, but he has no discomfort. Maybe he's deceiving himself, but he doesn't want to try that. He comes out of the water. When his feet touch the grass, he looks around. He needs new clothes; he can't wear his own. On a rock, he sees men's clothes. He approaches and puts them on. Although he feels guilty about it, the guilt fades quickly when he sees the quality of the fabric. There are likely at least four more pairs like this, so the guilt doesn't last long. He combs his hair back with his hands. He returns to the village square. This time, he encounters happy and kind faces. It truly bothers him that appearance matters so much. He walks towards the market quickly, eating fruits from one stall to another, but they no longer give him pleasure, only nausea. When he makes eye contact with a woman, he feels that he can ask her about the time or what happened last.
"Hello, young lady, may I ask you a question?"
The woman chuckles.
"You are very polite, aren't you? And of course, how can I help you?"
"I'm new here. Can you give me information about the recent events in this town?"
The woman sizes him up, carefully examining his face.
"I was sure I didn't know you. Don't worry; not much happened recently, just two weeks ago, we had our 110th village festival."
I raise my eyebrow. I haven't heard about this at all.
"If you're curious, it's a festival held every four years since the dark days. A celebration for us, as we've been free of it for 440 years."
I swallow. If this is true, I have no hope left. My hopes are slowly fading."
Four centuries have passed since his time. What's he gonna do? He's clueless about the present or anything about himself. The ache in his stomach isn't making things any easier. It's almost evening; everyone's dispersing to their homes. He needs to find a place to crash too. Heading back to the forest seems like the best call right now. He walks, the sound of twigs and branches buried in mud and mud under his feet. The cold doesn't seem to affect his body, or at least it's helping with this new feature, whatever it is. It's the only thing he can be glad about. Maybe he's talking too soon. After all, he's only been awake for a max of 12 hours. A voice inside him says there are things he needs to learn about himself.
He moves deeper into the forest. As darkness envelops him, a sense of peace fills him. He's loved the darkness since childhood. Playing games with his sister in the meadow near their house has now become a sad memory. Remembering his little sister now only brings him sorrow. His heart tightens, feeling like it's slowly solidifying. Breathing becomes difficult, his legs give in, and he falls to the ground. Leaning against a tree, he pulls his legs towards himself and rests his head. He lets himself go. He cries, sobbing uncontrollably. He wonders what he did to deserve this. Was he really that terrible of a person? What karma is he going through right now?
After a while, his sobs slow down, replaced by silent sighs. He lifts his head and surveys the surroundings. Nothing, just empty darkness. Is his home still standing, or has that too disappeared? He wants to go and check, but he's sure if he does and finds nothing in its place, he'll cry again. So, he puts his head back on his knees. Maybe he should just stay here today; there are no predators around, and the cold isn't affecting him. With the desire for morning to come, he calmly lies down, facing the right side, hoping everything will return to how it used to be.