Summer '78
Summer 1978
Being back home was almost like being in a dream, and Merlin had she missed it.
There had never been a home for her other than Potter Manor, surrounded by her doting parents and her brother, her friends in the spare bedrooms, Poppy with her grin and drooping ears. The tasteful decoration that called back to when the house had been first built, the back garden full of her mothers flowers and thick trees that allowed a quick glimpse to the lake that was nearby.
This was home, and there was no leaving in two months and missing it until Christmas or the next summer. She didn’t have to leave or face the outside world if she didn’t want to, except as much as she wanted to be a hermit, it wasn’t exactly something she could do.
Euphemia and Fleamont had grinned when they had collected them from the station, and Hermione hadn’t been able to stop herself from running and flinging her arms around them both, the comfort and safety they had to offer. It hadn’t been as long since she saw them, at least Bellatrix’s torture had worked out for one thing, but she had missed them everyday.
She barely left their side as they travelled to the Manor, waving goodbye to Remus and Lily who left with their own parents. Stayed with them as they entered the house, leaving all her luggage by the door and smiling as her father bent down to kiss her head while Euphemia looked on fondly.
“I think we need to have a talk in my office, sweetheart.” Fleamont spoke, his hand on her back as he smiled sadly down at her. She could see the rest of them watching her warily, Euphemia looking away as she seemed to blink back tears.
Hermione could only nod, allowing her father to lead her down the hall and to his office.
It felt like years since she had been in here, the dark wood and warmth that the room held tainted by Dumbledore not a couple of years before. It was easy to forget though as she stepped inside, her father closing the door behind her and smiling as he gestured for her to take a seat.
Photos seemed to litter more places than they did before, some of Euphemia and himself, but mainly of her and James throughout the years, always close and smiling the same crooked way that gave away their relation. It made her heart ache as she wished for those moments again, where they seemed carefree and young.
Fleamont sighed loudly as he sat in his chair and gave her a warm smile. “I’m glad you’re home, it’s not been the same without you kids around, we’ve missed you all very much.”
“I’ve missed being here, and you and mum.” Hermione mumbled back.
“I never thought I would see you come back without a smile on your face though.” He sighed out, resting his arms on his desk, a smile playing on his lips as Hermione frowned slightly. “Seems I’ll have to teach Sirius a lesson, rough him up a bit, for breaking my little girls heart.”
Hermione couldn’t stop the slight snort of amusement as she shook her head at her father. “If it helps James punched him.” Hermione commented lightly as her father’s mouth quirked like he was fighting back a laugh. “Reality is though, I was the one who broke his heart and then he did something stupid so we’re not speaking much right now but it’s all been dealt with.”
Fleamont watched her, strange eyes narrowing and head tilting to the side slightly before he gave her a sad smile. “You’ve always been capable of looking after yourself, Hermione, I have no doubt that you’re dealing with things the best way you can.”
It made her throat feel tight as she looked at the man that had been her father since she was seven. Never had he doubted her, never had he pressed her for more information, never had he not stood by her side and made her feel as though she should be doubting herself.
“Dad...”
“There is something else we need to discuss.” His voice was heavy as his expression grew more serious while he reached into his drawer, pulling out a thick envelope not unlike the first letters to Hogwarts, sliding it across the desk for her to take. “It arrived this morning.”
Hermione frowned as she reached for it, the parchment rough against her fingers, her name the only thing on the front but on the back was a wax seal. A sigh left her mouth as she took it in, a Phoenix burning, for others it might not mean anything but somewhere in Hermione’s mind she had seen this before.
It was a faint memory, and one that hardly brought about a pain in her head, but the feelings almost made her sick. There was joy and pride, like the other Hermione had waited for this day, like she had wanted nothing more.
Because other Hermione had trusted Dumbledore and hadn’t seen what Hermione had seen or been through what Hermione had been through.
“I didn’t think it would come so soon, before you were even home for a day but here we are.” Fleamont was speaking again as Hermione looked away, putting the envelope back on the table. He looked annoyed, upset and like he wanted nothing more than to throw the letter into the fire.
“And everyone else?” She asked, shifting in her seat, eyes still frowning down at the letter.
“I don’t know about Remus and Lily, but the other three are here in my desk, I was going to give them out at dinner.” Fleamont answered as he sighed while Hermione tilted her head in question. “They wouldn’t have the same reaction as you.” He added, looking vaguely disappointed, though she wasn’t why.
Did he want her to react differently? Or was he hoping the rest of them would be like her, deflated and unimpressed?
He leaned forward, speaking before she could ask her questions. “The war...it’s here and it’s brutal, it doesn’t care about intelligence, fairness or how prepared you are and I think you know that better than anyone.”
“I think I do too.” Hermione whispered back, her foot tapping against the floor.
"You don’t have to join." Fleamont said quietly, his gaze locked onto hers as she sighed. "I, and your mother, would prefer it didn’t, if instead you stayed here for the rest of your life where we could protect you.” He joked lightly, a sad smile curving his lips as she smiled back. “The world out there is different...it’s unforgiving.”
“I was thinking the same thing when I saw you both again, that I could hide here and do nothing but I can’t...I can’t just sit back and do nothing while people are being hurt.” Hermione said back, crossing her arms over her chest and giving her father a sad smile as he nodded his head.
It seemed more of a struggle for him, one where he wanted nothing more than to protect the child he had raised and another to let her be as free as he had always tried. “I know.” He seemed so proud and sad.
“Dad, I wish I could, but I think I know how to fix this...how to end this, I can’t stay hidden.” She whispered, reaching out a hand which he took with an even sadder smile. “The Order is the first step -”
“The Order is Dumbledore’s.” He spoke back as though she had forgotten that very part. “We can’t forget that, and we can’t forget that he has his own agenda, but whether we like or not, he is the leader.” The words seemed bitter as they came from his mouth, eyes narrowing. “Whatever game you’re playing with him, whatever secrets you’re keeping, you need to be careful...Very careful." He finished, voice low as Hermione frowned.
“I’m not playing any games.” She snapped back before she could stop herself, again her father seemed more amused than not.
“No, but you are planning something.” He spoke, almost daring her to contradict him. “Dumbledore can not be underestimated, he’s been doing this longer than you or I and he is good at it, but that doesn’t mean he’s infallible.” Fleamont whispered as though it was a secret.
“I don’t -”
“The Order may be his but that doesn’t mean the people are, many are tired with standing back and doing nothing, others want to fight...and the attack on Hogsmeade…” He cut himself off, eyes closing as he looked away from her.
He had seen her in the Hospital Wing not a day after, shakes running through her body and eyes blank. He had shouted and yelled at the Headmaster without a second thought for not making sure his students were safe, his daughter had been tortured and someone else’s son was dead. Not to mention the rest of the students who would be traumatised by the whole event.
It had left the whole Potter family reeling, and now it seemed it had sowed distrust amongst the members of the Order.
Fleamont looked back, face harder as he pointed a finger at her in a way that Euphemia had always told her was rude. “You need to be smart, keep your wits about you and your secrets close, and you don’t let your guard down, not with him or anyone else.”
“I won’t.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to scare you but I worry...Dumbledore watches you, all of us closely – but so do the rest, and sweetheart you’re not just some Pureblood in a war that wants you on the other side, you’re also wanted by Voldemort and...and Octans personally, this is going to be more dangerous for you than the rest of us.” Fleamont whispered, his eyes shining with unshed tears as Hermione nodded her head.
“Good thing I have no plan of them getting a hold of me then.” She tried for humour and he gave her a weak smile, hand reaching out for hers again.
“I know, but now is the time where we need to keep one eye on everyone and our friends close.” Fleamont sighed out before tried his best to give her a smile. “Whatever happens though, know that your mother and I are very proud of you, that we always have been and will be, and that for us you need to make it through this war.”
It hurt more than she thought it would, and if she could she would promise them both that. She would remain standing at the end, job done and everything over, but that wasn’t a promise anyone could make any more. Her father knew that, his smile sad as he nodded his head and Hermione tried her best to mirror the action but her whole body felt stiff.
“I’ll do my best.” She rasped out and it seemed to be enough, his hand letting go of hers as he moved around the desk and pulled her into his arms.
“And when has your best not been good enough.” He muttered against her hair and she wanted to point out plenty of times but it wouldn’t help. “Now how about we go and see what your mother and Poppy have cooked up for dinner.” He spoke as he pulled away, pushing curls from her forehead and smiling down softly at her.
Hermione nodded her head, stepping away from his arms, her hand reaching out to grip the Order letter so she could push it into her robes before she followed him out of the door, her mind spinning in different directions.
…
“What did dad want?” James whispered to her as he sat beside her at the table. Sirius and Marlene sat opposite them, the pair of them with frowns and distant eyes as the parents sat at the heads of the table.
“To know if he has to rough up Sirius a bit.” Hermione whispered back out of the corner of her mouth as James chuckled
“Please tell him you said yes.”
“Unfortunately, I said no.”
“Erm...I having something to ask.” Marlene spoke suddenly, head swivelling between Fleamont and Euphemia. “I didn’t say anything to Hermione and James, because I thought that was rude so I’ll ask myself.” A shaky breath left her mouth as Hermione frowned and James’ fork stopped an inch from his mouth.
“Everything alright, Marlene dear?” Euphemia asked gently, cutting up her potatoes as though it was normal that Marlene announced she had something to say.
Marlene took a deep breath before words seemed to be pouring from her mouth. “You have always opened your doors for me, and I know it’s not fair and I hate to be a burden but I wanted to know if you wouldn’t mind if I stayed here a little while longer – at least until Auror Training and I start getting paid and then I can find my own place and -”
“Nonsense, sweetheart, there is no need to rush and move out, you are always welcome here.” Euphemia interrupted with a smile, shaking her head as Marlene’s golden cheeks turned pink.
“Marlene, you’re as much a part of this family as anyone else at this table and we don’t kick family out.” Fleamont added, giving Sirius a quick look like he wanted to go back on his statement before a warm smile took over his face.
“I have something to say.” Sirius spoke before Marlene could question anything, his hands clutching the wooden table tightly.
“Yes, Sirius, the same applies to you.” Euphemia spoke, though not as gentle as it had been with Marlene, the smile on her face a tiny bit more strained and her warm hazel eyes a bit sharper. Sirius recoiled and Hermione felt guilt tightening her stomach.
“Mum.” She whispered, shaking her head at the woman who refused to look at her.
“Actually...I got a place, I’ll be moving out in a few...two days.” Sirius muttered out before anyone could say anything else. The whole room seemed to go silent as Hermione let out a small scoff and went back to her food, ignoring the look of hurt that took over Sirius’ face.
She didn’t know what he expected when she had told him that they were done not a few weeks ago. Honestly, it would be nice to have her house back without having to worry about bumping in her ex or the puppy dog looks sent her way. He was a part of their weird incestuous family, sure, and she knew her parents loved him like another son, but she couldn’t blame him for wanting to leave.
Even if he looked like he wanted her to beg him to stay.
Her days of begging him for anything were gone and her days of caring what he did or where he went were behind them.
“– and it is no bother for you to stay here, is it, Hermione?” The call of her name had her tuning back in and putting down her knife and fork as she turned to look at her mother with a frown, harsh words on the tip of her tongue.
“Euphemia.” Fleamont called sternly before Hermione could even say anything. “What happened between Hermione and Sirius is between them, how they feel is there business.” He added as Euphemia clenched her jaw. “The kids are old enough now to make their own choices, and if they are ready to move out then that’s ok.” He whispered the last part, sadness taking over his face as he looked at Sirius.
“He’s eighteen and there is a war going on, we can not have him alone -”
“I won’t be alone, Aunt Effie...I was hoping, well I was hoping that Remus would move in with me and if not, then...” Sirius spoke, cutting himself off as the woman turned sharp eyes onto him while Marlene chuckled under her breath.
“Well that’s sure to get people talking.” She muttered, ignoring Sirius as he sent her a quick glare while Hermione allowed an amused smile to take over her face.
“And if he can’t then maybe I could -”
“James Fleamont Potter, you are not moving out nor leaving this house anytime soon.” Euphemia snapped, knife and fork slamming on the table and everyone else sitting nervously, food untouched before them.
“Come on mum, we can’t live here forever.” James tried, before throwing her a wry smile. “I mean if it made you feel any better then I would move out with Hermione.”
“Probably should be moving in with your girlfriend instead your sister unless you want people to think you really are co-dependent.” Marlene commented, seemingly the only one not uncomfortable as she copied Hermione and continued eating her dinner.
“Listen, mum, for the minute we aren’t going anywhere, well except Sirius, but come September we are all going to start working and getting on with our lives – so whether we live together or apart, it doesn’t mean we are going to stop coming to see you.” James spoke calmly as Euphemia blinked away tears, her bottom lip wobbling.
“You know it breaks my heart to think about you all leaving, but I also couldn’t be prouder of you all.” She all but whimpered, using her napkin to dab her eyes. “I think it’s time we hand them out, Flea, and let them know what is expected of them out in the real world.”
Hermione looked down as her father waved his wand, envelopes flying from his office and into his hand as the other three watched him with wide eyes. Too early for the N.E.W.Ts or answers to see if they had jobs or not, no it seemed obvious what it was, even more so when they were handed to each person.
She could feel James watching her, even more as she pulled out her letter from her robe pocket to place on the table, face blank as she stared at it.
Her father was speaking, no doubt repeating some of the things he had said to her or maybe he was making it more clear for those he considered too reckless, but Hermione wasn’t paying attention, her hands reaching for the wax and picking it open so she could unfold the letter.
It wasn’t much inside, just a basic introduction and a meeting point for the next weekend, her name wasn’t written and neither was anyone else’s, but she recognised the writing, elegant and over dramatic much like the leader.
Pale fingers moved away as the paper grew hot, deep brown eyes watching as it turned into nothing more than a flicker of a flame and a pile of ash that she would have to clean up, the date, location and time almost burnt into the back of her eyes.
…
A few days later
Her feet stopped at the top of the stairs, listening to the laughter that came from Sirius’ room, multiple voices seeming to talk over each other as Hermione frowned, moving out of the way as Sirius and James came around, hands gripped with boxes and Remus following behind them with bags while Marlene stood at the top of the stairs frowning.
Black hair became a curtain, only allowing her to see James as he gave her a nervous smile, Remus as he passed reached out a hand to rub her arm, all while Sirius seemingly stumbled over his steps, eyes glancing up at her from under his hair and a small smile on his face that Hermione rolled her eyes at.
“You know, we could use your packing expertise in there.” Remus joked lightly, nodding her head back to the room as Hermione tried her best to give a smile.
Marlene scoffed, she seemed to stand in the middle of wanting to help and wanting nothing more than to shut herself in her room and ignore the boys. Hermione couldn’t blame her, Marlene had gotten an apology and a somewhat better Sirius, while Hermione got nothing more than a puppy dog look and sighs.
“I’m sure you’ve got it all figured out.” Hermione spoke back with a tense smile as she slipped past the boys and towards Marlene.
Neither of them spoke as they made their way to her bedroom, or Hermione made her way there and Marlene followed behind her, the sounds of the boys muttering behind her – one sounding more annoyed and the other two sighing.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Sirius was complaining about her lack of acknowledgement or something else that made her roll her eyes. Pathetic that he could muster enough courage to move out of her parents safety net but not even apologise to her.
The door shut behind her with a slight bang as Marlene sat herself on Hermione’s bed, bouncing slightly and laying back with a sigh, while Hermione moved to her desk, shuffling her papers around and making sure the things about Horcruxes and Voldemort were still hidden.
“Ugh...we should do something.” Marlene groaned out as Hermione hummed.
“Like what?”
“Go out and do what normal people our age do before work and the Order takes over.” Marlene sighed, looking at her nails and tapping her foot on the side of the bed while Hermione nodded in agreement, opening a book.
Her mouth opened, the retort on her tongue cut off as her door opened and Lily stepped inside, closing it softly behind her. “There you are...James said you were up here.” Her footsteps were equally soft as she moved to stand behind Hermione. “Why aren’t you with the boys?”
“Why aren’t you?” Hermione asked back, avoiding the question and keeping her eyes on her book with a frown.
Lily sighed, leaning against the desk and reaching for her book. Hermione didn’t put up too much of a fight, letting her take it with a small noise of protest. Pale pink hands closed the book and settled it on her lap as she looked at Hermione with bright green eyes, so full of understanding.
It was annoying sometimes to have a friend that seemed to see things so clearly, without even having to ask. Like she understood the issues and everything else with a single glance when most people had to talk about it or ask about it.
“I didn’t fancy being around the boys without the both of you there.” Lily answered easily before she raised a singular eyebrow. “I take it he still hasn’t apologised?” She added as Marlene barked out a laugh.
“Please, he’s far too scared to look at her let alone even say anything to her.” Hermione sent her friend a glare but Marlene didn’t care as she shook her head and continued smiling as though it was nothing. She never asked why Hermione was still angry, never pushed for answers, just stood by her side like a good friend would.
“Did he at least invite you to his ‘new home’ party?” Lily asked, teeth biting into her lip as Hermione smirked.
“No, I heard about that from Remus – but there you go Mar, something fun and age appropriate to do.” Hermione smirked as she looked back to Marlene, who rolled her eyes and sat herself up on the bed.
“Hm...well I was promised my own bottle of alcohol and the ability to use their flat as a place to meet Reg, but honestly I wasn’t going to go unless you go too.” Marlene answered, her cheeks slightly pink and her eyes downcast as she looked down at her nails.
“I’m not going.” Hermione answered back, as softly as she could before looking at Lily who raised an eyebrow. “And it’s not just because I’m annoyed at him or anything, but seems a bit weird to be turning up at my ex’s place for a party.”
Hermione turned away, looking at her bookshelf, fingers skimming over books and eyes avoiding the suspicious looks Lily and Marlene were sending her way. “Then what are we doing?”
“We are doing nothing because you two and everyone else are going to the ‘party’ and enjoying yourselves.” Hermione answered as she picked up another book and sat back in her chair, Lily leaning over her to the point where her auburn hair was almost tickling Hermione’s face.
“And leave you here alone? Not happening.” She said back sternly as Hermione fought to let a smile appear on her face.
She appreciated it, she really did. Lily and James’ effort at trying to be by her side, Marlene wanting to stick by her, but she had seen what it had caused before, tried her best to do damage control and she had no interest in making this worse. Sirius needed James, and James needed Lily, Marlene wanted a good night out – easier if they were all shoved together and Hermione was on the outside.
She had been on the outside once before, or it felt like it, faint blurry memories in her head of walking Hogwarts corridors by herself, listening to snide comments that made no sense. And she knew in the days to come that she would probably be by herself again, this time by choice than anything else.
Everyone would be working, busy doing jobs they had prepared for their whole Hogwarts career, Hermione included, though she wasn’t sure if stepping into the corrupt Ministry just yet was the way to go, though it would be interesting enough if she was accepted.
Life moved on and people grew up. And ex’s barely spoke to each other.
“Unless you have other plans.” Lily spoke, raising an eyebrow and moving Hermione’s chair around so Hermione had no choice but to face her.
Marlene jumped off the bed and moved forward, her mouth open as she stood by Lily’s side and looked down at Hermione, icy eyes alight with interest. “Other plans? With who?”
“I don’t – I have to see a friend.”
“You don’t have other friends.” Marlene scoffed out, amusement on her face. Her words stung slightly, but they weren’t necessarily untrue. It wasn’t like she had a list of people who wanted to spend time with her or that she would say she was close with.
“I have other friends.” Hermione grumbled out as she tried to turn away only for Marlene’s strong hand to keep her in place. “Benjy Fenwick, that’s who I’m meeting – and no, it’s not for some one night stand, mainly though because I think he’s not interested.” Hermione hissed out before Marlene could open her mouth.
Lily’s eyebrows furrowed, a concerned expression spreading across her face that contrasted against the amused one on Marlene, who simply shrugged and seemed content to leave it as it was. Maybe Lily would be too if she had more information but it wasn’t like Hermione could freely give that out at the moment, so the redhead would just have to trust her.
“Where are you meeting him?” Lily asked, seemingly before she could stop herself, bringing a hand up to her hair so she could run her fingers through it, much like her boyfriend.
“To a pub.”
“Which one?” Lily asked sternly, Hermione opened her mouth to respond only for Lily to cut her off with another concerned question. “And what time will you be home?”
“Jeez, mum, are you going to give her a curfew too?” Marlene scoffed from where she was back to laying on Hermione’s bed, punching a pillow into the air with a large grin on her face.
“Marle-”
“Let’s just go with, be safe, have fun and don’t end up in a ditch somewhere and leave it at that.” Marlene spoke, cutting off Lily before she sat up, holding the pillow to her lap and gave Hermione a cheeky smile. “Oh, and if you do manage to get Benjy to switch sides – let us know how it went.” She added a wink at the end that Hermione chuckled at.
“Will do, though again doubtful.” And probably only going to happen in her dreams. “Lil’, I’ll be fine – you just go to the party, have a few drinks and spend time with your friends, I’ll be here when you get back.” Hermione smiled out as she leaned back against the seat and looked down at the words on the page.
“Fine, but when the three of us get our own place then we are having a party and we’re not inviting any dramatic ex boyfriends who don’t apologise for the problems they create.” Lily exclaimed as she moved to sit beside Marlene on Hermione’s bed, a grin on her face.
Marlene frowned, turning to look at Lily, even as her eyes twinkled. “Guess that means James isn’t invited.”
Lily’s mouth fell open, gaping slightly as she looked between Marlene and Hermione before she seemed to remember something, and instead she frowned. “Fine, then it can be us three and Remus.”
“Sounds like a different sort of party – can’t say I’m against it, but Regulus might be.” Marlene joked as she took the book from Lily and began scanning through the pages while Lily blushed, her mouth opening and closing like a fish as Hermione chuckled.
“Who is going to pay for this place?” Hermione asked, happy to have the conversation turn onto something lighter.
“Well, hopefully by then we’ll have jobs, and if not then we can rely on your mountain of money.” Lily answered, a grin taking over her flushed face as she took the book back from Marlene and made herself more comfortable.
Hermione chuckled, eyeing her best friends and doing nothing to stop the grin as she raised her eyebrows and shook her head. “Good to know you’re only friends with me for my money.”
“As opposed to your shining personality.” Marlene remarked sarcastically with an easy smirk as Hermione nodded in agreement just as the door opened once more and Euphemia stepped, taking them all in with a small smile on her face.
“You should clean this place up.” Her mother remarked as she stepped further into the room, looking at the chaos of books and clothes that littered the place, like she hadn’t cleaned it in weeks instead of the few days she had been home.
“I’ll get to it.” Hermione commented dryly, pushing her notes under the books she had on her desk and turning her chair around to watch as her mother came further into the room, while Lily sat up, looking nervous, and Marlene stayed relaxed against the wall.
“We should -”
“There’s no need to go, dear, you have no idea how nice is it to hear you all laugh or see a smile on Hermione’s face.” Euphemia spoke as she sat beside Lily, the mattress dipping slightly under her weight. “Don’t give me that look, you came home looking like a slapped arse and it hasn’t changed in days.”
“Mum.”
“Now I know something happened between Sirius and you, the pair of you have looked down for days but that doesn’t mean -”
“Mum, I already had this talk with dad.” Hermione remarked dryly, looking away from her best friends and mother. “What happened between us is between us, no one else needs to get involved and Sirius needs to stop acting like whining to everyone is going to fix things.” She didn’t mean to mutter the last part but it came out anyway and her mother’s lips thinned.
“And now he’s moved onto running away.”
“Because he’s a child who can’t deal with manning up and apologising for being a…” Hermione cut herself off, taking a deep breath.
As much as it irked her, and as annoyed as she was at Sirius, it was different for her parents. They had taken him in, helped raise him in some ways and treated him almost as though he was some son/nephew that they loved – and now he was leaving in the midst of a war and there were problems between their children and Sirius.
Hermione wasn’t stupid to think of how it might be effecting her mother, she had just ignored it and hoped that her mother would realise, but instead she had just made herself blind as to how Euphemia might be hurting at a child leaving the nest.
She turned in her chair to look at her mother, offering a small smile. “Mum, if he wants to stay then it’s fine, but I’m not going to ask him to nor am I going to be annoyed or sad if he wants to leave.”
“You have always so logical and wise beyond you’re years – even when you were a little girl.” Euphemia chuckled wetly as Hermione tried not cringe away from the tears and emotional response. “But I don’t want you to let your anger get in the way.”
Hermione shifted uncomfortably, her eyes finding her friends who looked like they were seconds away from bolting out of the door. She would follow them, avoid what she was sure was going to be an uncomfortable, emotional conversation that she didn’t want to have.
Why her mother thought now of all times, with her friends around, was a good time to talk like this Hermione had no idea, but she had enough manners to stay silent and let her mother say whatever she needed to say.
“When you were younger, I was worried...you had lost so much and I thought that maybe you were too young to understand but as you’ve grown…” Euphemia took a deep breath. “...I see how much anger you really have, how much you keep in and now I worry for a different reason.” Her hazel eyes shone brightly and Hermione couldn’t look away.
“Mum, I’m fine.”
“This war has already taken so much away from you, away from all of you, and if I’m honest – I don’t see it getting better anytime soon.” It must have been a lot to admit, to know what they were all heading into and no way to stop it. “I need you, all of you, to keep a good head on your shoulders and think about what is important and what isn’t.” She whispered as Hermione closed her eyes and turned her head away.
“Mum, what happened with Sirius is not something I can just let go of or pretend didn’t happen...it’s not as easy as forgive and forget.” Hermione tried to explain softly, opening her eyes and looking down at her book.
“Sweetheart -”
“He’s always going to be family, I’m always going to care about him and maybe one day we can be friends again or get back to some normality but that’s not going to be anytime soon.” Hermione added, her tone slightly sharper than she meant it to be.
She knew her mother meant well, that she wanted her household and her family back to being unified and happy, but it wasn’t something Hermione would be able to offer.
“Ok, I respect that.” Euphemia whispered before sniffling and Hermione refused to turn and see those tears that would make her heart crack and her own tears form. “And I respect all of your decisions to join this war, even if it fills me with dread and worry.” She tried to chuckle but it got stuck in her throat and clenched Hermione’s heart.
“We’ll be fine, mum, nothing you need to worry about.” A lie. That couldn’t be promised these days.
“But I do worry because that is a mother’s job, it’s a dangerous world out there...and I need to make sure you will come back, all of you.” Euphemia sniffled as she spoke, eyes focused on Hermione and bottom lip wobbling.
“What are you and dad so worried about that makes you think I won’t come back?” Hermione asked after a few seconds as Euphemia managed to get herself under some semblance of control, a sad smile taking over her face as she stood up from the bed.
“Selflessness, loyalty, bravery – they are all a blessing and a curse, and I know you well enough to know you’ll put many people above yourself.” She muttered as she placed tawny hands on each of Hermione’s cheeks and leaned down.
Selfish, betrayal, manipulative. Her mothers words meant little when so many others were circling around in her head and so many others. Yet, she wanted to see herself the way her mother did, so kind and good – someone like James or Lily or Remus. Someone who was worthy of being trusted and trusting, of no one ever having any doubts about them.
The truth was that she had done too much damage, twisted things too many times, and hurt too many people to be considered anything other than negative, but she would try and fix the wrongs. She would try and save who she could, and she would try to end this war with knowledge only she possessed.
The world seemed to settle heavily on her shoulders as she tried her best to blink back the tears that filled her eyes, to promise her mother that she would be good and make everything right but she couldn’t. And she couldn’t promise that she would come back like Euphemia clearly wanted of her, she couldn’t even promise that she would save everyone.
Euphemia’s arms wrapped around her, holding her tight as though she could shield her from all the horrors of the world. “Whatever you have to do, just know we are here, your home will be here and nothing you do will change that.” Her mother whispered into her hair.
Hermione wanted to believe it, but the unlikelihood of it all just seemed unreal. “Thank you.”
…
Lily's POV
The flat was nothing special. A small kitchen that was separated from the equally small living room by only a breakfast bar, and two bedrooms that could only fit the basics with a shared bathroom between them.
It was obvious though who lived here, by the books already left around, to the red walls and comfy sofas of the living room, like their common room recreated and made to fit. It was a mix of comfy and extravagant, and too chaotic for Lily’s eyes. If this had been her home then everything would have been made to match, creamy colours and maybe some offsets of brighter colours spread throughout.
Though, if this was her home then she would make sure it was in one of the safer areas of London, and not perhaps a part where questionable people who may or might not be selling drugs in the alley below, lived next door. It wasn’t like Sirius didn’t have the money to buy something better, just he clearly enjoyed the Muggleness of it all.
“I think my neighbour just tried to sell me weed.” Or he enjoyed that.
“Why do you think that?”
“Because he asked if we were having a party, I said yes with some school friends, he said I have some stuff that you might be interested in, I said like what, and he said this.” Sirius explained rapidly as he pulled a what looked like a bulky long cigarette out of his pocket. “I asked if that was what I thought it was, he said yes and he would give me a neighbour discount and I said sure and handed him over one of those paper money things, and he seemed chuffed by it.”
Lily gaped like a fish before she frowned at him. It wasn’t like she hadn’t smoked it before, or smoked in general. Sirius’ dwindling packets of cigs were enough proof of that. But she never thought he would be buying things on the street from a man he didn’t know. “What -”
“Why did he think you were interested?” Marlene asked, appearing out of thin air, with a frown as she sipped at her drink, eyes still cold as they looked at Sirius and voice on the edge of disdain and annoyance.
James rolled his eyes as he stood next to Sirius, hair slightly wet from the outside and a small smile on his face. “Maybe because they were smoking together and Sirius was complaining about not knowing where to buy weed from now he had left school and moved out.”
“Well, we’re not smoking it tonight.”
“It’s a party Lil’.”
“Filled with people we haven’t seen in ages, who may or may not be a part of the Order or may have other loyalties.” Lily hissed, leaning closer and narrowing her eyes. “Last thing we need is to be slow and high as a fucking kite if something happens.” She added as Sirius rolled his eyes but stuffed the joint back into his pocket.
He mumbled something under his breath, but didn’t press any further, either because he knew it was a losing cause or because Frank and Alice had just appeared with matching grins.
“Hey!” Frank shouted as he clapped both boys on the shoulders and gave Marlene and Lily a one armed hug, Alice copying soon after. “Nice to see you all, thanks for inviting us.” He turned to pat Remus’ back as the man joined them.
Alice chuckled, nodding her head in agreement, eyes wide and bright. “Can’t believe you’ve graduated and got your own place in the space of a month.”
“Not to mention joining the Aurors, and...well the other thing.” Frank spoke lowly, cheeks flushing as he looked around, seeming to remember the people around them. Lily gave Sirius a pointed look that he ignored, focusing instead on the couple before him.
“Only if we get accepted.” He remarked dryly.
“I’d be more worried about that if you didn’t have a few men vouching for you on the inside.” Frank whispered before giving a wink as Alice chuckled. “Where’s Hermione?” He asked as he looked around, smile still on his face.
Tension grew thick, so much so that someone would have had to cut it with a knife as Sirius tensed his jaw, Remus looked away, Marlene was rolling her eyes but amused, James was shifting from foot to foot, avoiding looking at his friends and Lily was smirking. Alice and Frank watched them all, smiles falling from their faces and shifting into something else.
Frank opened his mouth to speak, possibly to try and the tension but Sirius beat him too it, taking a sip from his drink and answering with an edge to his voice. “No idea.”
He seemed hurt that she hadn’t turned up when he opened the door to Marlene, Lily and James, grey eyes looking around them and smile dimming slightly when no girl with a mass of curls and chocolate brown eyes walked in behind them.
It annoyed Lily that he could seem so hurt when he couldn’t even muster up a fucking apology for what he had done to the person who might have been in the most danger if her and Marlene hadn’t shut his mouth. How ridiculous it was that Marlene, who had no idea, had the foresight to have him not say anything.
Lily was feeling petty, and if not slightly vindictive and she blamed it on being around an equally annoyed Marlene. “Actually, she didn’t want to come.”
Sirius frowned as Frank pulled an amused face and Alice stepped forward with an east smile. “A shame really, I was looking forward to seeing her.” Her sweet voice didn’t match the suspicious look she gave Sirius. “Let her know I’m going to send her a letter to ask when she has some time free, and we’ll all go for a girls day.”
A quick touch to Marlene let her know she was included and had Lily smiling as she nodded her head in agreement. “I’m sure she would love that.”
“She isn’t...she isn’t home alone, is she?” Alice asked, teeth digging into her bottom lip as her eyes turned impossibly wider as Lily shook her head with a small laugh.
“No, if she was, believe me I would have stayed with her but no…” Lily trailed off, before a wicked smile took to her lips as the boys looked over with matching frowns. “Actually, she went to meet a friend.” She whispered out, adding a wink to Alice who grinned.
It was petty, but Lily couldn’t deny that she enjoyed the way Sirius’ frown deepened, Marlene chuckled out an amused laugh and gave Lily a sly approving nod of her head while Alice raised her eyebrows and took the bait with a carefully crafted knowing smile.
It was a game as old as time. Boys had their version and girls had their own – piss off the person who had hurt your friend by making them seem uninterested and therefore making the idiotic person feel guilty and perhaps jealous.
“Who?” Alice and Sirius all asked at the same time, though Sirius sounded less joyful than the woman.
“It’s not Zach, is it?” Marlene asked, playing along, icy eyes twinkling as she reached around Remus to grip Lily’s arm, accidentally knocking into Sirius who frowned at the back of her head while Lily shook her head in amusement while Alice shook her head.
“No, it’s not.”
“I was going to say, I think he’s seeing some girl down in...where was it again, Frank?” Alice asked, tapping her forehead as she frowned.
“D.M - Unspeakable.” Frank answered easily, with a small smile as Alice grinned at him.
“That’s it!” She shouted, a few people looking around to see what she was so excited about as she leaned forward and lowered her voice. “So they’ve apparently been going out for a couple of months.”
“Really?” Lily gasped, a grin on her own face. As annoyed as Hermione was at Zach for being a dick the last time they spoke, he did seem like a great bloke and Lily could only be happy for him, even as she leaned in closer to whisper. “You know, that’s where Hermione applied to work.” Alice’s mouth dropped open, dramatically playing into the gossip.
“She did?” Sirius asked, surprising the girls as he frowned, looking hurt that he hadn’t been told this piece of information about his ex which made Lily frown. “She never told me that.” He whispered more to himself than anyone but it was heard clearly.
“Did you ever ask?” Lily asked back as Sirius looked away, guilt taking over his face.
So many factors had played into the end of Sirius’ and Hermione’s relationship, and Lily wasn’t so one sided that she couldn’t admit Hermione’s secret wasn’t one of those reasons. Yet, it seemed like there were plenty of others, lack of trust, a one sided chasing game, and perhaps more than they all knew.
But Lily did know that Hermione often felt alone, her past, present and future a focus in her mind that was hard to shift, but when it did shift it often fell around the rest of them. How she could save them, love them and protect them. Sirius had called Hermione selfish, and sometimes it wasn’t far off, but he had failed to look at his own selfishness.
He wanted so much that he didn’t care what he did to get it. He had had hard a life, one he got away from but it had almost blinded him in some regard. Did he ever ask Hermione what she wanted in life? How her past effected her? Anything past the basics? Or was it just easier to talk about himself?
Sirius glared at her, tongue rolling in his mouth before he gave a sneer, one that was a cruel representation of where he was emotionally. “Just another thing to add to the list.” He spat out as Lily ground her teeth together. “Better tell that friend of hers to watch out, what with all her lies and manipulation.”
“Lucky for them then that he has never had a problem trusting Hermione and has only ever been a decent human who shows her the respect she deserves – oh and keeps her secrets to himself.” Lily snapped as Sirius’ eyes flashed with guilt.
“Are you really -”
Something snapped in Lily, her understanding at his anger and hurt locked away as she let her own anger take place, stepping forward so she could whisper words only he would hear. “It seems you need reminding of a few things.” Her voice was cold and flinched away from her but she stepped even further into his space. “Do you think the things you have done are so easily forgiven?”
“Lil -” James muttered, standing behind her, not pulling her away but almost hiding her from view, his hands resting on her arms as though he thought she was going to start swinging.
“The only reason myself, Marlene, James, and the Potter’s gave you another chance is because Hermione asked us to.” She didn’t look at Remus, he was the only one who had never needed convincing to forgive his friends, better than all of them it seemed. “She may not want to be your friend, but still goes out of her way to make sure you are cared for and protected – so maybe stop being an arse, grow the fuck up and show some common decency.” She snapped, moving out of James’ hold and away from Sirius.
His cheeks were pink and his grey eyes looked at her with a mixture of emotions she didn’t care to name. She understood his hurt, but there came a time when hurt became cruel – and he had passed that line long ago. If they could play civil at school then they could do it at home otherwise their group would become fractured and no one would win.
Remus coughed, nodding his head towards Frank and Alice who were watching them apprehensively, to the rest of the party who were looking on in interest at the group. Some things never changed it seemed, they would always be the subject of gossip.
A fake smile made it’s way to her face as she looked at James, a knowing look in his eyes. “Do you think your mum and dad would mind if I went there and waited for Hermione?”
James’ smile was soft, understanding as he shook his head. “No, I don’t think they’d...just let me get my coat and I’ll -”
“No, stay here.” Lily mumbled as she reached onto the tips of her toes and place a gentle kiss against his lips. “He needs you now.” She added, sending a quick look to Sirius who was still pink faced and looking shamed.
Lily didn’t say goodbye to him like she did the others, didn’t even give him another glance as she made her way out of the flat and into the cool night, a deep breath falling from her lips. Guilt settled in her stomach, she hadn’t meant to hurt him but she couldn’t hold it in any longer, every talk they ever had with him just seemed to go in one ear and out of the other.
She doubted her own talk would do any good.
Her wand clutched tightly in her hand, she made her way to the little alley, glad to find it free of people selling things and spun around on the spot, thinking of Potter Manor and everything that made it a home as she disappeared with a crack.
…
Wizarding Pubs were littered up and down the country, small and hidden from Muggle View or smacked in the centre of a Wizarding Town, and often they were full of people looking to get their jollies after a long day at work.
For a community that massed a few thousand, and on average 1-5% of the British and Irish Population, there wasn’t that much to do other than work, drink and go home. The Muggles had their small square TV’s, clubs and other things but the Wizarding World was fairly content to stick to their traditions and stereotypes.
Hermione frowned as she stood outside the pub, small, quaint and the same as every other pub. Did he expect her to go inside or was he meeting her out here?
She didn’t dare to dawdle too long, stepping forward before she could stop herself and push open the heavy wooden door and into the dark wooden setting inside that smelt like smoke and alcohol. Conversations were low in the background, brief words able to be caught as she made her way towards the bar and onto a stool.
Benjy Fenwick was leant over a glass on something, pretty face pale as he seeming stared at nothing before his eyes focused on her and he gave her a handsome smile.
“Didn’t think you would make it.” He chuckled out as he patted her back and gestured for the barmaid to get her a drink, ignoring the protest that fell from her lips. “Thought you would be at the party with your friends.”
“I don’t tend to go to parties that house my ex’s.” Hermione remarked with an easy smile as the barmaid placed a cold dark drink before her. With a frown she took a sip, bitter and almost tough to slide down her throat as her face scrunched up. “What is this?” She asked with a cough as Benjy laughed.
“Common ale found in the North, popular with the Muggles too – don’t worry after a few tries you’ll come around we’ll make a proper Northern lass out of you.” His accent grew thicker as he gave her a crinkled eyed grin.
“How exciting.”
“As for the other thing – can’t say I’ve been invited to many parties with my ex’s to turn them down...though considering my ex’s don’t want people to know they’re my ex, it’s not like I can give a good excuse.” It hurt to hear and it hurt Benjy too, clearly, as his face scrunched up.
“Then they’re dicks and not worth another thought.”
“I’d say the same for yours, but we all know you don’t have terrible taste in men like me.” He joked, back to happy in a single second that made Hermione envious.
“Debatable.” Hermione mumbled, ignoring his questioning look as she turned to her side and gave him a wide smile. “Anyway, I’m not here to talk about ex’s – I believe you have something of mine?”
“And you want me to give it to you here?” He asked before his cheeks flushed and Hermione raised an eyebrow.
“While I wouldn’t say no, but we both know I’m not your type.” Hermione joked back as he chuckled lowly, cheeks turning pink, running a hand through his hair and giving her a half shrug. “Well, I was hoping outside, but what better place to hand something over than a seedy bar hidden in the deep North.”
“And we don’t need to -”
“It might have helped, but if he’s going to see anything then it’s not going to make much of a difference – both of us have had time to practice occlumency and that should be enough.” Hermione sighed out, shrugging and offering him a small smile. “If not then I’ll make sure to keep the focus off of you.” She added with a bigger grin as Benjy frowned.
“I’m not worried about that.” Benjy spoke, even frowning he looked pretty.
“No need to worry about me either.”
“It’s what friends do.” He answered as Hermione looked back at her drink, feeling her cheeks heat. He sighed loudly, looking around the bar before reaching into his robes as discreetly as possible and placing the box she had given him six months ago on her lap.
“Thank you.” She whispered back as she gently moved the box inside of her robes, patting it down and adjusting the fabric around herself before going back to her drink and frowning as Benjy watched her. “What?”
“Aren’t you going...I thought that would be it – I mean, if it’s so important why aren’t you taking it home?” Benjy asked, stumbling through his words.
“Charmed pocket, no one can get in or out other than me.” She explain lowly, whispering the words to him as he nodded his head and gave her an impressed smile. “Plus, it’s not like any of my friends are at home waiting for me, might as well stay here and enjoy your company for a bit.” She winked at the end to let him know she was joking and laughed as he rolled his eyes.
A smile took over his face as he leaned over the bar, ignoring the barmaid and grabbed a bottle of something and two small glasses before grinning cheekily at Hermione as she frowned in an unspoken question. “I come here a lot.”
Hermione frowned, looking to the barmaid who was busy cleaning up the bar itself, but her cheeks were a rosy pink and her eyes kept darting to the pair of them. With a smug smile she turned back to Benjy. “And the barmaid has a crush on you?”
“And the barmaid has a crush on me.” He chuckled back as he poured two shots and placed one before her. “She knows I’ll pay her back, don’t worry about it.”
“Still, not sure if an Auror should be taking things without permission.” Hermione joked as she picked up her shot glass and clinked it against Benjy’s before throwing it back and coughing afterwards.
He downed his own shot before slamming the glass down and reaching for the bottle. “Sometimes, Hermione, we have to take things that we need for ourselves and we can’t wait around to make sure everyone around us is ok with that.”
“And that includes drinking this whole bottle of alcohol...for what exactly?” Hermione asked as she reached forward to try and grip the bottle, it’s clear colour and the burn it left only giving her so much to go on.
“To celebrate your graduation and joining the elite group where we do nothing but sit around talking about doing something.” Benjy whispered as he threw back his next shot and gestured for her to do the same. “And hopefully we’ll get drunk enough that the men in here look halfway decent or we get bored and try to see if we can find what makes men so crazy about women.” He gestured around as Hermione looked and grimaced.
It seemed the bar was full of older men, tipsy or drunk, the kind that probably already had families at home and a few kids under their belt. It wasn’t the kind she was interested in and if she was being honest, she wasn’t interested in a one night stand and couldn’t see herself doing that for a while, still she let a teasing smile form on her lips as she looked back at Benjy.
“I’m sure if that’s what you’re curious about the barmaid would be more than willing to help.” Hermione whispered, looking to the woman. “Or get me drunk enough and I can show you.” A joke that had Benjy laughing and Hermione smirking.
“You’re pretty, Hermione, but I don’t think our friendship would survive if I went down that path.” Benjy muttered back, shaking his head as she pouted at him.
“Possibly the nicest rejection I’ve ever had.”
“Possibly the only rejection you’ve ever had.” Benjy called her out as he poured more shots and Hermione shrugged. It wasn’t like she spent much time chasing men, other than the two boyfriends she had had, to know. Benjy didn’t let her think on it much longer as he pushed another shot towards her and grinned. “Now let’s drink!”
…
The next morning
The tea was hot enough that it just about burned her tongue, but it did nothing to stop Lily’s amusement as she stared at her best friend.
Hermione Potter, stern and serious as they came, draped over the dining room table at Potter Manor, her face paler and sweatier than usual and her eyes closed against what she had said was unnecessary brightness. Lily had laughed but had inched the curtains closed and placed a glass of water before her friend that remained untouched.
At least she hadn’t thrown up for a few hours and had managed to come downstairs, that was improvement. Still, Lily couldn’t help but chuckle to herself.
“You don’t do things in moderation, do you?” She asked as Hermione cracked open an eye before groaning and closing them again, her pale hand reaching for the water only to give up when she couldn’t find it.
The dining room door swung open as Poppy and Euphemia came into the dining room to serve the breakfast items. Hermione’s face turned a pale green, another groan leaving her mouth as she stumbled up from her chair and down the hall leaving Lily to wince as the bathroom door slammed shut and Euphemia sighed.
“I wish I could be like Fleamont and find the amusement in this but alas, my little girl throwing up in the morning after drinking all night is just never going to sit easy with me.” Euphemia mumbled more to herself, rubbing her forehead as James, Sirius, Remus and Marlene entered the room.
“Morning mum...Lil’.” James spoke as he kissed his mothers cheeks and then Lily’s as he slipped into the seat besides her. “Had to bring Sirius and Remus along since all they had in their fridge was an apple.” He joked as he leaned forward to pile food on his plate before frowning. “Where’s Mi’?”
“Bathroom.” Lily answered with her own smile, leaning into James’ side. “How did your party go last night? Were you up until the early hours of the morning?” She teased as she nibbled on some toast, watching as the rest sat down.
Marlene scoffed, sitting in her own seat and ignoring the frown Sirius sent her. “No, it was finished before midnight because someone didn’t want to annoy the neighbours and these three were asleep before one.”
“Wouldn’t do us any good to annoy people when we have to live there.” Remus answered, smiling around his cup as he sipped on his tea.
“Still, it was – wow.” Marlene cut herself off, eyes wide and amused as she looked at the doorway, the rest turning to look. Hermione stood there, looking pale and less green, eyes slightly unfocused as she took in everyone in the room. “At least someone had a good night.” Marlene added as Hermione frowned.
“Yeah, it was absolutely fantastic.” Hermione remarked dryly as she moved back to her seat, stumbling slightly and allowing Lily to help her before she reached for her water.
“Merlin, if we’d have known you were going to throw yourself a one woman party in sadness then we would have dragged you there.” Sirius remarked lowly, a slight smirk on his face but his eyes betrayed the concern he felt as Hermione tried to push away the breakfast Euphemia placed in front of her, her lip curling up as she regarded Sirius coolly.
“Didn’t want to go anyway.”
Euphemia clicked her tongue, shaking her head as she sat beside Hermione and pushed her food forwards once again. “No, you just wanted to go out to some pub in the middle of the night without informing your father or I, and come home drunk and incoherent at four in the morning like myself and Lily hadn’t been worrying for hours.”
“It wasn’t like I was alone.” Hermione answered back, finally digging into her food and pulling away with pursed lips, staring at the food as though it had done her personal harm. “I can’t eat this.”
“Well, you’re going to unless you want to keep throwing up all day.” Euphemia snapped, Hermione rolled her eyes but ate another bite, seeming to gag slightly before she swallowed it.
“Sounds like a good night.” James laughed, breaking the tension for the mother and daughter who both turned to frown at him. “Did your friend get home ok?” He asked after another second as Lily chuckled behind her hand as Euphemia sighed, but there was a soft smile forming on her lips.
“No, he did try but I was concerned about him splinching himself so I sent him to Sirius’ old room or I tried.” Euphemia explained, shaking her head.
“He didn’t listen - fucking duvet hog.” Hermione muttered more to herself than anyone but everyone around the table heard it. Lily snorted into her tea, unsure if she should speak up and say she also crashed in Hermione’s room to make sure her friend didn’t choke on her own tongue or vomit or if she should stay silent.
“Language.” Euphemia huffed out, rolled her eyes once again.
“Wait...wait – there was a boy in her bed?” Sirius cried, disbelief on his face as well as a mixture of other emotions as he looked between Euphemia and Hermione.
“I prefer to think of myself as a man.” A voice said from the doorway as relief seemed to wash over Sirius as they turned to see Benjy strutting forward, looking much better than Hermione did, except the bags under his eyes and the messy hair. “And Lily was there too.” He added as he sat down where Fleamont normally would with no complaint from Euphemia who looked more interested in her food.
James turned to look at Lily who smiled, the secret that wasn’t really a secret out for them all now. “On the floor, with a pillow and the constant need to wake up every hour to make sure neither of you vomited and died.”
Benjy grinned, thanking Poppy when she slid his a cup of tea. “Sign of a good night, and one we will have to repeat with the rest of you.” He added some food to his plate as Euphemia gave him a playful glare. “Though with less alcohol.”
“With no alcohol, I’m never drinking again.” Hermione groaned, pushing away her half finished food, though her mother seemed pleased at the statement and the amount she had eaten.
“Oh come on, you were great fun last night, and lots of people who agreed if their battles for your attention didn’t go unnoticed.” Hermione cringed, slumping back into her seat and covering her paling face as Lily chuckled and Sirius glared.
“Oh, any that piqued your interest, Mi’?” Marlene taunted as Hermione blushed, turning green again and her mouth opening to mutter a faint no.
“There was this one boy, though he seemed more in awe of Hermione than the other way around – quite a stunning lad as well, looked a bit like you Marlene, and I think you might know him too.” Benjy explained as Hermione shook her head and Marlene frowned. “Goes by the name Matias.” Benjy added with a grin as Marlene’s mouth dropped open.
Lily grimaced. Benjy, and many others, didn’t know about Marlene’s history with her family, the pressure and the want they had for her to marry only for them to all but kick her out when she disagreed. There was a reason she lived with the Potter’s and didn’t speak to any of her family except her younger brother, Mickey, but no one ever seemed to look too far into it.
Benjy, at least, seemed to sense that he had put his foot into his mouth, either by Marlene’s now pale face or Hermione’s quiet swearing, but he had the decency to apologise softly.
“It’s alright, Marlene has some issues with her family, you didn’t know though so don’t worry.” Lily muttered to him across the table as James nodded his head in agreement.
“Great one, Mi’, flirting with Marlene’s brother like it’s nothing.” Sirius snapped as Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.
“I didn’t flirt with anyone, but even if I did it’s none of your business, it’s none of anyone’s business but mine, Matias’ and Marlene’s.” Hermione spat back, her temper nothing but a thin thread that was ready to snap.
“Well maybe you should have thought about that before you let the guy who abandoned your best friend flirt with you.” Sirius snapped back and Lily took a deep breath as she looked at them both, leaning onto the table and glaring at each other without a care for anyone else even as Euphemia rubbed her forehead and sighed loudly.
“Honestly, Matias is probably the best of my brothers – at least he sends a letter every now and then – though I do have to say that Mickey will be gutted.” Marlene joked, no hint of resentment or annoyance on her face other than when she looked at Sirius.
“And trust me she didn’t seem all that interested – if I had known what he’s done I wouldn’t have let him within twenty feet of her.” Benjy tried to joke, nodding to Marlene who smiled sadly at him. “Not that it would have stopped him, people are quite taken with our Mi’, she’s quite a catch, you know.” He joked again but it landed poorly as Sirius scoffed and Hermione let out a sigh.
“More like the centre of attention.”
“Oh yes, it’s me acting like the centre of attention.” Hermione all but shouted, standing up from her chair and letting it stumble to the floor behind her as she glared at Sirius with such intensity that Lily almost recoiled. “Merlin, you’re such a prick, do you even hear the words come out of your fucking mouth?
“Do you even think about the people who are waiting at home for you while you’re out draping yourself over different guys?” Sirius asked, leaning back into his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Waiting at home?” Hermione laughed bitterly, whole body shaking in anger. “You know what, I don’t need to justify myself to you – I’m an adult who is allowed to go out and do what I want to do, so save the concerned act for someone you actually care about.”
Her voice seemed to echo around the house, shaking the knives and forks on the table. Her face turned even more pale and her brown eyes were shining as she pushed herself even further away from the table and stormed out of the room.
Sirius watched her go, the same conflicting mixture of emotions in his eyes and his hands gripping the wood of the table tightly, like if he let go his hands would try and reach for her.
“Well, I think that is enough of that today.” Euphemia spoke softly, wiping the corners of her mouth with a napkin as she stood up from the table and looked at each one of them. “And let’s just clarify the rules of this house, we will be kind to each other, we will not accuse each other nor will we be cruel, intentionally or unintentionally.” There was no spare look towards Sirius but it seemed clear enough who she was talking to. “If people can’t follow those rules then they will have to be separated until they learn.”
And with that she left. Five friends and Benjy remained around the table, silence all around them that not even a joke would break as they listen to Hermione’s door slam above them and Euphemia’s soft footsteps head up the stairs.