Chapter 66
Thursday the 15th of December 1977
Throughout the world there had always been someone in charge, a King or an Emperor – someone to rule the sheep and lead them into a world of glory. And all of them had failed in some way or the other.
It was no different in the Wizarding World, thought they might lack the monarchy, they had their Lords and Ladies and a Ministry to rule over them. They too did a poor job of managing a world that needed a tighter fist of control over their people.
They needed someone strong and powerful, someone to tell them just how the Wizarding World could come back on top. There had been a man who tried to do it once, though he had been misguided and allowed himself to be caught by the man their world seemed to see as a God. He had had the right idea though, and in doing what he did, had laid the ground work for a better man to take his place.
And Voldemort had begun to do just that.
A gift among man with some of the purest blood flowing through his veins. A descendant of one of the greatest Wizards to ever live, one he remained greater than.
The world would tremble when he finally took charge and fixed what needed to be fixed. No more Mudbloods, or half breeds, but plenty of Muggles to be reminded of their place in the world. Like pigs to a slaughter, treated with nothing less than they deserved.
A sigh left his mouth as he waved his wand, watching as the flames in the fireplace danced lower than before, casting faint lights around the room and onto himself. In a singular, simple second of doubt, he wondered if the future he craved when be able to be seen in the fire and answered in a singular question.
It was an answer he already knew, for there was no world where his vision would not come to pass. Carefully planned and supported by many people, it would take a great force to break it, and that was only if he didn’t break them first.
Dumbledore could try, as great as he was, but he would fail at every turn in his eagerness to try and see reason and logic above all else. It was no secret that he had isolated his biggest potential of allies with his careless moves and incessant need to be better than them.
For their’s was not a world where Potter’s didn’t hold power, money and influence. Where they didn’t have a little heir that was the tie to another equally powerful and influential family, who wanted her just as badly.
Perhaps not for the same reasons as himself. Voldemort was motivated, but he did not care what the Black’s or Potter’s or anyone else would want. For he wanted her for himself, wanted to cultivate her power and assets, wanted her to open the door to the other Potter heir, and the Black that hung around her – needed her as an influence for the place her mother had been born.
And none could deny that she would do well by his side once she let in that darkness that plagued her. He could offer her so much, when she was ready, and for that he was excited.
Turning away from the fire, he looked at the shivering mess of a boy in the corner, barely an adult and barely any use since he ran away. What plans would they have managed to achieve if he had not been a coward and managed to keep his facade?
It was no matter, there were others on the job now, ones more up to the task and little Peter Pettigrew was nothing more than his little servant.
Watery eyes looked back at him as he shivered, and Voldemort could almost see his own reflection. Pale, tall, and nothing like how he had looked all those years ago, and for that he was glad. There was no need to see his filthy Muggle father’s reflection looking back at him.
“Pettigrew, bring me Octans.” He spoke silkily as Peter nodded his head, scurrying out the room like a rat and leaving Voldemort by himself to turn back to the fire.
It wouldn’t take long, Peter never tried to dawdle with orders, not since the last time where his punishment had been almost cruel, but had done the job to remind the boy of who he was loyal to.
The sound of scurrying and soft footfalls made him look back around as Octans walked into the room, bowing his head. Azkaban had almost been cruel to him, skinny and maddened looking, but there was still something in his pale face, crooked grin and mess of curls that worked in their favour to get information from those they needed.
“You wanted to see me, My Lord?” Accented, like a well bred boy should be, but raspy after years of barely speaking.
“I trust you have news for me regarding our situation.” Voldemort spoke, his own voice accented though it was through years of forcing away what had been common, had made him stand out in the way he hadn’t wanted. Now he sounded like them, though colder – more threatening like he had wanted.
Octans turned his cold blue eyes onto Peter. “Are we free to speak, My Lord?”
Voldemort laughed, quick and cold, as he too looked at Peter and watched him all but fold into himself. “Peter knows the consequences of having a loose tongue when it comes to my private conversations.” A quick reminder that made the boy almost whimper. “You’ll keep quiet, won’t you, Peter?”
“Ye...yes...My Lord.” Peter mumbled as Voldemort smiled and turned back to Octans.
“Very well.” Octans spoke as he followed Voldemort to the table, sitting himself on his left. “The boy has been dealt with for taking actions without order, he will not be acting out again without dire consequences.”
Voldemort nearly grinned at the dark look in Octans eyes, there was no need to ask what punishment had been given, nor if the boy still lived, for it would be truly dealt with in time. He nodded his head instead and continued with his questions. “Good...good, and young Sirius Black?”
“Is none the wiser.” Octans answered as Peter shifted from foot to foot. “The spell has been ended.” He added, sending a quick glare to the boy in the corner.
“Good, it would do no good to bring attention to ourselves this early.” Voldemort spoke with a small smile, his long hands moving to rest on the old wooden table. “And the girl and her friends, they were unaware?” This was more crucial, for their plan would not be foiled by a singular idiot who thought he knew best.
“It seems so but we can not be too sure.”
“And Regulus Black?”
“He is being watched, his own attempts a failure.” Octans answered as Voldemort smiled coldly.
Regulus Black, the heir to his own family since his brother left. Quiet and reserved and doing what he was told without an issue, only always seeming to fail. It was through no fault of his own, it seemed, just he didn’t have the ability to plan fully, but he tried and Voldemort could not fault him for that just yet.
“As we knew they would be – it seems your daughter is smarter than we thought.” He said instead. One’s lips would normally turn up with such praise but Octans was a man who smiled coldly instead, distant and uncaring of what his daughter was.
“And more powerful too.” He mumbled instead, hands gripping the table slightly. “Severus Snape spoke of an incident -”
“I do not need a child’s word, I am aware of how powerful Hermione Potter grows by the day, and soon she will be by our side where she belongs.” Voldemort cut him off with a slight frown as Octans nodded his head, his mouth opening no doubt to say what he had been saying since he left Azkaban. “It would do no good to take her from under Dumbledore’s nose, leave her be, let her think she is safe for the moment, let Regulus continue with his attempts and failures – let her believe she will be able to escape.”
He almost whispered the words as Octans bowed his head once more. “Of course, My Lord.”
He wished to say more, to fight but no one was to fight with Lord Voldemort. No one was to question his judgement when they all knew Voldemort was right, but it seemed a weak human instinct that most had. Octans was lucky he was able to keep his tongue in his mouth.
“My Lord.” A breathy voice, one he had heard many times throughout the years had them looking up, and an easy smile playing on his lips.
Bellatrix Black, or Lestrange as she had been known for a while, stood at the door. A pretty sight, and one he would have taken during his younger years when simple words were not enough to secure devotion in his followers.
As it was now, her devotion and the slight belief that he loved her just as much was enough to keep her tightly by his side. For him to admire the beauty of her strong face and dark silky black hair, but none of it was as beautiful as the maddening look in her dark eyes, nor the crazy determination in which she followed his orders.
“Ah, Bella.” Voldemort crooned, watching as she almost melted like he knew she would. All but running towards him so she could sit in the chair to his right. “What brings you here?”
“I have news about the girl, My Lord.” She was so eager, leaning forward onto the table to look at him with wide eyes like childish girl. He doubted Rodolphus had ever seen such an expression on her face, but then he also doubted that Rodolphus cared.
He had always been more than happy to push Bellatrix into Voldemort’s way, so he could do whatever he wished with the girls he brought back at night, Voldemort doubted he even cared for the woman. It worked in his favour.
“I expect it is the same news that Octans has already given to me.” Voldemort spoke softly, as Bellatrix’s hands twitched towards his own, as thought to grab them.
“Perhaps there is more, My Lord – I have heard many things through our informants -”
“The same informants that we both share, tell me cousin, what do you think you’ve heard about my daughter that I would already not know?” Octans finally spoke, cutting off Bella with a quick smile and calm words.
Bellatrix laughed, loud and cruel, tongue poking between her teeth. “You mean the daughter that calls the bloodtraitor Fleamont Potter daddy, the same one who wished your death when we had our little chat.”
“Perhaps instead of aggravating my daughter, you should be more focused on trying to find your sister and niece, for it seems every time you get close they manage to evade you once again.” Octans spoke softly, leaning forward onto the table and tilting his head tot he side. “Tell me, Bella, how does it feel to be outsmarted by a bloodtraitor and her Mudblood husband?”
Bellatrix stood up in her seat, wand in her hand in a second and pointing at her distant cousins face. “How dare -”
“Enough.” Voldemort called, Bella freezing and turning to look at him while Octans smirked slightly. “Your tasks are to be done as I have command, and it will not do to fail at them, for you both know what awaits those who disappoint me.” That wiped the smirk off the man’s face, making him bow his head in agreement.
“Of course, My Lord.”
“Now leave, I grow tired and bored of our conversation.” Voldemort called, waving his hand and standing to move before the fire. Neither made sounds other than the their feet on the floor and the slight movements of fabrics as they left the room but he wouldn’t put it past them to continue their incessant bickering once they left.
He should punish them for showing such blatant lack of respect, make a spectacle of what could happen to even his most loyal of servants when they don’t watch their tongue, but in doing so he would loose the two who showed true devotion and perhaps push his other servants away.
It was a balance, and one that must be carefully walked. He would let them live for now.
…
Saturday the 17th of December 1977
“Why the fuck would anyone trying to control me want me to do a backflip?” James shouted as he stumbled forward before his body could flip backwards, with a quick glare towards Regulus who lowered his wand and shrugged his shoulders.
“I’m running out of things to try and make you do, especially when it seems you actually want to do them.” Regulus spoke with small smile. The effects of his spell fully wearing off as James stood normally and shook his head, moving to sit down and stretch out his limbs with a small groan.
“I’m curious about how flexible I am, but I’m not eager to break my back.” He answered back though there was a small smile on his lips.
“Understandable but I’m sure you could have done it and given people a run for their money.” Regulus spoke back with a small smirk as James laughed.
“Thank you.”
There was a grin between them, that fell instantly as they seemed to remember who they were and the reason for them being here. It was a shame really, they might have made good friends in another life, a similar sort of banter between them that Sirius and James had, though slightly darker and more on the edge of tormenting each other.
Maybe one day when this was all over and Voldemort was dead and long gone, they would be able to welcome Regulus into their group with open arms and any doubt left far in the past.
“Are we done with this little moment?” Hermione asked before she could stop herself, stepping forward and turning more to face Regulus. “We need to try with something stronger, something we feel less compelled to do.”
“I’m not sure -”
“Death Eaters aren’t going to sit around waiting for us to figure out what will and won’t do, they don’t care about morals.” Remus spoke, cutting off Regulus before he could say anything else. He was tired himself but it was hard to say what from.
The moon and Christmas was drawing closer with every passing day, and while his potion helped the effects, there would always be a slight tiredness to him. Add the fact that he had actively been throwing off Regulus’ attempts, meant that he was exhausted where he sat all but leaning against Lily.
“Some of them do.” Regulus attempted softly, looking around warily. He knew where this was going.
“Remus is right.” Hermione sighed. “Only something more authentic is going to let us know whether we have the ability to fight or not.” She spoke softly as he winced and began shaking his head.
“I agreed to help, but there is a limit -”
“The limit means nothing if all of us end up walking around like Sirius, possibly cursed and waiting or in the unknown.” Hermione all but snapped, squeezing the bridge of her nose. “We have no clue who is behind it yet and we can’t risk waiting around to find out.”
“Maybe if we understand better how to break out of it when it’s more difficult then we might be able to help Sirius.” Lily’s soft voice carried across the room, sweet and innocent despite the fire in her eyes as she looked at Regulus and watched him soften slightly.
Another side effect of their time together practising, and Lily all but claiming she trusted him as long as Marlene did, was that Regulus had become something kinder with them. Like all he needed was the Muggleborn to offer trust to really see they weren’t all that bad. Or maybe Marlene had had words during their nights.
His jaw tensed slightly as he looked back to Hermione. “Fine, but I’m not doing it to them.” He spoke again before anyone could question him. “You’ve broken free more than them, and I trust that if something goes wrong that you won’t blame me.” Though he cringed like he didn’t fully believe it as Hermione raised an eyebrow.
“We’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Yes, and then when this is over you can learn to cast it on them because I’m not risking the end of your wand if they can’t resist and do something wrong.” He added as he gestured for her to stand up with his wand, her own wand tucked into her pocket.
“Fine.” She muttered, nodding her chin at him. “Let’s do this.”
He didn’t wait a second before his wand was waving and the familiar feeling of floating coming back to her, making it hard to focus on anything else as she stared forward. Vaguely aware of what was happening as her friends watch and Regulus frowned at her.
Take out your wand
The voice whispered in her head and she had no reason to object, taking her wand into her hand.
Point it at your friends
The voice spoke again, her hand raising as she frowned slightly. It didn’t make sense. Even as they stared back at her with wary eyes, their own wands drawn as though they were waiting.
But what were they waiting for? What did they think she was going to do?
Take away their wands
The words were on the tip of her tongue as she frowned. If they lost their wands then they wouldn’t be able to defend themselves properly. They weren’t duelling, there was no amusement there or smirking faces, but instead worried ones.
Take away their wands and get rid of them
Her wand raised again slightly, and the words were there once again. Get rid of them how? It didn’t make sense, causing her to stumble backwards slightly and lower her wand. She wasn’t going to hurt her friends and her brother.
The floating feeling lessened slightly but it was still there as she turned to face a smirking Regulus, a frown on her face as she tried to trace the thought in her mind that was telling her this was wrong.
Words failed her though as James mumbled something she couldn’t make out, running forward and throwing the cloak over Regulus, she thought it might end there then but the floating was still there as the door opened and Sirius and Marlene strode in then.
They both looked at her with a frown as her mouth opened and she frowned, focusing on those silver eyes through the fog in her brain.
You can’t trust him, he’s working for them – end him before he ends you
No! A voice in her head screamed as her raising wand was dropped to the floor and a deep breath left her mouth as a lone spark shot out of the end, her hands coming to rest on her knees and the final bit of the fog being pushed from her mind now she had gotten a grip on her own reality, and the thumbs up poking out from under the cloak was seen from the corner of her eye.
The spell was ended because of her or Regulus but she had fought it.
“Mi’, are you alright?” Sirius asked he moved forward, staggering slightly as she wrapped her arms around him and placed a heated kiss on his lips.
Inappropriate for the people around them but this could have gone another way if she hadn’t realised. She would have to try again when there wasn’t as much risk for Regulus coming in and she would have to help her friends get a grip.
“Sorry, just...I missed you.” He narrowed his eyes at her as she pulled away but he didn’t question it, because he couldn’t and he wouldn’t. As sad as it was, he was dealing with it as well as he could and spending his time trying to enjoy his time instead of worrying over a possible instruction in his head.
He smiled softly after a second and placed a kiss on her lips before pulling back and looking around the room with a frown. “Fancy going to dinner?”
“Yes, I’m famished.” James cried, standing up with a wince and all but crying out when Lily leaned onto his side after helping Remus up from the floor.
“You alright there, Prongs?”
“Yeah, I just learnt that I might have a career in gymnastics if the whole Auror thing doesn’t work out.” He groaned as a grin teased at the corners of his mouth, stretching out his arms in front of him.
There was a soft laughter from Regulus, one covered up by Remus coughing even as Marlene narrowed her eyes and looked around. Sirius didn’t seem to hear, or if he did then he was doing a good job at not showing that he did by playing with Hermione’s curls.
“I need a tea, come on Mar – it’s your turn since Sirius isn’t allowed to make it any more.” Remus muttered, ignoring the glaring thrown his way as he led Marlene out, pulling the girl into his side and whispering something into her ear.
“Lil’ help me.” James moaned, leaning on his girlfriend as she shoved him away.
“Too heavy, Sirius – help him.” Lily chuckled, as James staggered towards Sirius. Hermione stepped back, smirking as Sirius caught her brother without too much effort.
“Why are you ordering me around – he’s your boyfriend!” Sirius snapped enough as he wrapped an arm around James and glowered at Lily, gritting his teeth as he spoke again. “Fine, but you owe me.” With that he began pulling James towards the door with a frown.
“No I don’t.” Lily called after them as she moved slower until she reached the door and closed it, leaning against the wood and looking at Hermione with a raised eyebrow.
Hermione didn’t think twice as she strode over to where she knew Regulus was, ripping the cloak from him and glaring as he stood there with a grin. She may have been small but with her wand in her hand once again, she was menacing enough for Regulus to take a step back as she hissed. “That was a risky move.”
“You wanted more authenticity.” Regulus claimed as he stepped backwards and sent a look to Lily. How the tables had turned from looking to Hermione for help from Lily to the other way around.
“We are not involving him.” Hermione snapped as she reached out to grip the front of his robe as he looked down at her with wide eyes while she continued speaking sarcastically. “Thank you though, for ending your spell before I did anything.”
“I didn’t end it.”
“What?” Hermione blinked letting go of him and stepping back. There was no floating or soft voice in her head, but her whole body felt sick, even as she glared at him. “Regulus don’t even -”
He held up his hands, surrendering and not even bothering to move back. “I didn’t need to end it because you ended it yourself.” There was an almost soft smile on his face, as though he was proud. “You broke the spell into dust and pushed me out of your head, I think it probably hurt me than it hurt you.” As if to prove his point, he rubbed his head even as a tender look crossed his face.
“I don’t -”
“You must really love him – all of them.” There was almost an awe as he spoke, before recognition settled on his face and he almost looked at her sympathetically. “You haven’t told him.”
Her throat almost felt choked up as she looked back at the little brother, same colour hair as his brother, same nose and face shape, so many similarities, but the boy before her was bright eyes, skinny and in over his head with tasks. Partially her fault she supposed. Yet he looked at her as though he understood exactly what she was feeling.
“There hasn’t really been a time or place.” She hissed out between clenched teeth as he gave her another sorry smile and nodded his head. “Not that this is really important right now…”
“It is and is isn’t.”
“What do you mean?” Lily asked from where she was still stood by the door, watching them both with a frown. Regulus turned slightly to look at her, shoving his hands in his pockets as he offered a small smirk and looked back to Hermione.
His smile fell in an instant as he gripped her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “You need to remember whatever you felt in that moment, whatever it was that you gripped onto to and used to push me out, can be used against anyone else who tries to do that to you.” He almost seemed urgent as he said it, all but shaking her.
“Regulus -”
“Having strong willpower doesn’t just mean having the ability to resist the imperius curse or a legimens, but many other things too, and it’s something you can’t stop practising, not for a second.” His words were rushed as he looked back to Lily and for a second she was worried that something was wrong, but there was an eagerness in his eyes. “They all need to understand that.”
“And they will.” Hermione reassured, resting a hand on his shoulder and gently pushing him away. “I’ll make sure they do.”
“We both will.” Regulus spoke with a fierceness she hadn’t seen before, bright eyed and tensed jaw as he sent another look to Lily.
Hermione couldn’t say for sure what had happened in the couple of weeks they had been doing this. All she knew was that something had changed between Regulus and her friends, an understanding and perhaps a slight hint of care, not that any of them would ever admit it.
Yet, the way Regulus looked at her now almost made her worry that there was more going on, that he knew more than he wanted to say to her. It was probably true and she wasn’t about to make him spill his secrets, but it put on her edge and added more wariness to her body than she ever wanted to deal with in her life.
What would happen, he was on their side more than he was in the beginning and he would hopefully warn them before something happened, or at least she would have a small amount of faith that he would.
…
Friday the 23rd of December 1977
Hermione sighed as she laid on the Common Room sofa, a book open above her and the voices of students heading on their way home faded into the background.
It was easier not to look at them, and not to feel the slight sadness that came when remembering that for the first time in eleven years she wouldn’t be with her parents for Christmas. There be no decorating, no Christmas Eve ball and no morning filled with hugs and family love, it would just be her, James and their friends in a slightly empty castle.
And Christmas would no doubt be spent in the Hospital Wing cheering up Remus. It would be tame, quaint and probably just as special, but it wouldn’t be the same. It would probably never be the same again.
She would have continued moping if she wasn’t suddenly crushed under a large beast with black fur and startling silver eyes poking under her book. He wasn’t any lighter in dog form than he was as a human, but at least as a human he could hold himself up, it seemed as a dog he was more than content to crush her and cuddle up to her face so he could place a lick on her cheek.
“Ew...get off.” She exclaimed with a small laugh as he scrambled away, all but falling off the sofa and looking up at her with big puppy eyes that almost made her melt.
Effortlessly before her he changed back into his human self, laid on his back and staring at her with the same eyes, though they were less puppy and more amused. “Nothing I haven’t done before.” He groaned as he sat up and narrowed his eyes at her.
“Yet somehow I dislike it in both forms.” Hermione teased as he all but pounced on top of her again, though this time seeming to mind his weight a bit more.
“Really?”
“Yes, really – you may find it hard to believe but I don’t enjoy having my face licked.”
“Though other places…” Sirius leered, moving closer to her again as Hermione tried her best not to blush, and rid the memories and ideas from her mind, the weight of his body doing nothing to help.
“Something we are not going to find out in the Common Room where anyone could see.” She hissed back, trying to push him away once again, but he was like a dead weight, leaving her no room to move or back off.
“Everyone has gone home for Christmas.” He whispered with a grin as he leaned down to place kisses on the slope of her neck, chuckling into her skin as she let out a small hum.
“But still…”
“Mi’, this is the first time we have actually had time alone together in what feels like forever…” He leaned away, silver eyes alight with meaning and hands stroking her sides. She wanted to give in to him, to drag him up the stairs and remind herself of what they had been missing.
Yet she couldn’t, a deep sigh leaving her mouth as she tried to see deep into those eyes like they could give her a sign, an answer to the question that had been haunting her. “A reminder that I’m not actually supposed to be alone with you.”
“I feel fine, I don’t have any laced tea with me nor any need to try and get your deepest darkest secrets – so I think we are good.” Sirius whispered, a coy smile playing at the edges of his lips and his silver eyes glittering with amusement.
“It’s not a joke though.” Hermione whispered back with a deep frown. It was her fault they were in this position, her fault that he was messed up, and yet he was trying to make light of it all. Like his mind was his own.
“I know it’s not, but I don’t know what else I am supposed to do about it.” Sirius spoke softly, shrugging his shoulders, a hand reaching up to brush the curls away from her face like it was her who needed comfort. “Someone got to me, I won’t let it happen again, and if it does then I’ll fight it off.”
“It’s not that easy.” Hermione muttered, thinking back to the practice Regulus had put her through and how much easier and natural it felt to just along with it, the tiredness leaking into your bones as you tried to fight what your mind thought was normal. “You know as well as I do that when someone is in your head -”
“Hermione, can we just stop, please.” Sirius all but snapped, shaking his head and leaning away from her with a frown. “I know all of this, it doesn’t make it any easier, but it is what it is and I’m dealing with it.” There was an edge to his tone and one that made her think he wasn’t dealing all that well at all.
“Okay – I’m sorry...I just…”
“You care and you’re worried, and I have no doubts that you’ll come with some plan to solve everything with that big brain and heart that I love so much.” The words seemed to tumble from his lips without any thought, making them both freeze.
To anyone else it might have not been so unusual, a couple that had been together for months, a couple months shy of one year unofficially, but they weren’t Hermione and Sirius. Taking it slow had meant dating, and holding hands, until finally taking it the next step officially and everything that came with that, and deepening feelings that hadn’t really come to light yet.
And before it could they were fighting and there were possible curses, and a need to keep an eye on things, and now here they were in the middle of all of it.
Hermione’s throat felt tight, her stomach rattling like a herd of hippogriffs lived in there, and a rapidly thumping heart that seemed to make her whole body feel as though it was being burned in the best way. She wanted to say the words back but all she could manage to do was a strangled sound that made Sirius wince slightly.
“I don’t...I wasn’t…”
“Sirius.”
“I shouldn’t have said that, I don’t even know why I did – I’m sorry -”
“I don’t -”
“No, actually I’m not.” Sirius spoke louder then before as he pulled away from her, no longer wide eyed and unsure of what he was going to say. “That is how I feel, and you might not feel the same, and that’s alright because what we have is good here and I’m not looking to ruin it -”
“Sirius.” Hermione said his name softly, almost a whisper as he stopped speaking and turned to look at her with guarded silver eyes, a faint sliver of hope in them. “You haven’t ruined it, not at all, I’m just...I was surprised and I didn’t know you felt that way -”
He scoffed, hands in his lap as he looked down at them. “How could you not?” It was a fair question, and one that almost left Hermione pondering over her answer. “Am I really that shit at showing you how I feel?” He asked, looking at her now as she sighed.
“No.” There were so many things she wanted to say, so many things that should be said or explained, and yet none of the words were capable of leaving her mouth.
Sirius. Her Sirius. Bright, charismatic, funny, handsome and so many other things that made her heart swell and her arms want to hold him tight. The boy who hadn’t had the best luck with family, who wanted out and went against their beliefs. Her brother’s best friend, and a close friend to all their other friends. Who had become an Animagus for their friend, and had done so many other things.
Impulsive, hot-headed, and sometimes more than a little selfish. It had been hard to get here because of him and his mistakes. Who hadn’t complained too much when Regulus did what he did, who had no problems bullying Snape because he simple didn’t like him, and who hadn’t thought when he told Snape in a fit of anger how to get into the Willow.
He was all of these things, and she was still here despite her own flaws. And she loved him, of course she did, but what was love in comparison to secrets she wouldn’t tell him? In comparison to a possible unforgivable still being used on him?
People like Voldemort, Octans, or even the Death Eaters viewed love as some kind of weakness, something that could be used against their enemies, and what if that was what was happening now? The curse still keeping it’s effect, hoping that she would lower her walls and confess everything in the name of love.
Or what if it was just Sirius? Her Sirius?
“Sirius -” The words caught on the tip of her tongue as he reached out and gripped her hands, offering a rare gentle smile.
“You don’t have to say anything.” He muttered as he freed one hand to brush a strand of hair behind her ear, his touch a whisper against her skin and his voice softer. “I know why you might not want to, I’m not going to force you, and I’ll be here waiting for whenever you feel ready.” Her heart might have fractured slightly, eyes feeling strangely misty as he pulled his hand away.
He deserved better than this. Than someone who couldn’t be honest with him for multiple different reasons, than being used as a pawn. And did it really matter?
Despite what might at play, it wasn’t ever going to make her confess anything, not really.
“There’s things that I want to tell you, things that need saying -” Her mouth suddenly felt dry, a heavy swallow stopping her from speaking before she continued. “ - but the honest truth is I don’t know if I will be able to do that right now.”
“Kitten -”
“Just...just listen a minute.” Hermione breathed out as she held his hands tighter. “It’s bigger and more dangerous than you probably realise and I understand that it’s not fair, and you deserve better, and I know it’s a lot to ask you to trust me.” His eyes flashed slightly as her voice wavered slightly. “But if you can then you should know I feel the same, and if you can’t then I’m not going to make you stay and I won’t hate you should you decide enough is enough and walk away.”
It would hurt, break her into a thousand pieces that would take time to repair, but she wouldn’t care – so long as he made the choices he wanted to make.
“You’ll tell me one day?” He asked, almost nervously, with a frown and that hope in his eyes again.
“Yes, but I can’t promise when that day will be.” Hermione muttered back with her own frown as he gave her a slight smile and moved closer to her.
“Then I’ll wait.” His words were spoken like a promise, so earnest and all but begging her to believe him and she wanted to. Wanted nothing more than to grin and kiss his handsome face, but how long did promises last before a person got fed up and moved on?
She should have turned away, should have let him go, but the truth was that she was a more than a little selfish too, and so she couldn’t help it as she let go of his hands to grip his face and pull him closer. “I love you.”
His eyes turned wide, flickering over her face as though he would be able to see if she was lying before he grinned, gripping her face right back and pulling her in for a searing kiss that took her breath away and made her heart pound rapidly in her chest.
The Common Room seemed to fade away as Hermione all but fell backwards onto the sofa, dragging him down with her and refusing to let him go any further than an inch away so they could breath.
“I love you too.” He mumbled more against her lips, not giving her a chance to respond as he continued his assault against her mouth, one hand threading into the curls on the back of her neck and the other one moving to hold more of his weight so he didn’t crush her.
She wouldn’t care in all honesty, the more of him she felt the better, a thought she tried to put into action as one of her own hands moved to tug the front of his top and pull him closer. He chuckled against her mouth but his hand remained firm.
A whimper left her as she moved her hand from the scrunched up fabric to his waist, running fingers at the hem and onto his skin, a smile on her lips and her hand preparing to try and tug the fabric off of him.
“MY EYES!” And like that the moment was gone, the two pulling their lips away as Hermione rolled her eyes. “THIS IS A PUBLIC AREA! STOP! STOP IT NOW!” Her brother screamed as Sirius chuckled, placing one last kiss against her lips and moving off of her, his hands trailing down to her skirt so he could tug it into a more decent position.
“I don’t remember being this dramatic when I caught you and Lil’ mid snog the other day.” Sirius commented as he gripped her hands and pulled her to sit up, her eyes narrowed as she turned to look at James where he stood looking through the cracks in his hands, Lily blushing beside him and Marlene chuckling.
“That’s different – we weren’t – she’s not your sister!” James snapped, now gesturing his hands between Lily and Sirius.
“Semantics – she’s the closest I’ve got to one.” Something softened in Lily’s gaze, a smile spreading across her lips and her cheeks turning a pretty pink as Sirius shrugged his shoulders as though it was something he said everyday.
“Gee thanks….guess I’m what...some cousin?” Marlene joked as she all but threw herself into the single chair, stretching out her legs so they rested on the coffee table.
“Technically yes, albeit distant and barely there, but honestly think it might be a bit weird to call you sister all things considering.” Sirius explained, a smirk on his face as he rested back against the sofa and pulled Hermione into his arms. “Maybe one day though.”
Marlene rarely blushed but now there was a dusting of it underneath her golden skin, even more so as Hermione took her hand and uttered the words.“You’re like a sister to me Mar’.”
“And to me too.”
“You do realise it makes things even weirder considering she did stuff with your actual brother and your boyfriend, right?” Sirius spoke, cutting off Lily who winced as he pointed to Hermione and then Lily, her cheeks redder than before even as Marlene laughed slightly, albeit a bit awkwardly.
“What’s life without a bit of incest – right, cousins?” She teased right back as Hermione grimaced as moved away from Sirius slightly while the rest of the room laughed.
“Oh fuck you.”
Someone coughed, bringing them out of their winces and grimaces to see Remus watching them in a mixture of amusement. “If you’re all done, I brought a friend to hang out – thought it might be a bit lonely in the Ravenclaw tower.”
Edith appeared from behind him, dressed in a jumper that was overly large on her and a pair of jeans, curly blond hair swept into a bun on her head and dimples showing as she smiled. Once, a few months ago, Hermione might have been annoyed to see the girl in the her Common Room on such a chill night but now she offered a small smile instead.
“Sorry to interrupt.” She didn’t sound all that sorry, northern twang seeping out of her voice as she grinned at them all.
“It’s fine, any friend of Remus’ is a friend of ours.” Hermione spoke, and it seemed like the thing that everyone needed to relax back in their seats and gesture for her to sit with them.
“Unless you’re here for Quidditch secrets because then I would have to ask you to leave.” James spoke as he sat himself down beside Hermione, pulling Lily with him and cramping the seat but none of them moved. Spending too much time together meant being uncomfortably crowded on a seat was nothing unusual anymore.
“And what would I possibly be able to get from you that I don’t already know – didn’t you see how we slaughtered Hufflepuff?” Edith asked as she lowered onto the floor beside Remus, a smirk pulling at her face and vanishing that innocent expression she seemed to have mastered so well.
“Like it’s hard.”
“Alright, enough Quidditch talk, Merlin knows I hear enough of it in my everyday life and I really don’t want to spend my holidays hearing about it too.” Lily sighed, throwing her hands into the air as James turned to frown at her.
“I talk about other things.” The group laughed. There weren’t many things that James actually spoke about, not unless it was something to do with Hermione which half of the room didn’t know about.
“Sure you do, sweetie.” Lily soothed, a hand reaching up to stroke his hair.
“Well then what are we going to do?” Marlene asked, resting her hands on her stomach as she turned to grin at Sirius. “Poker – which you still owe me gold for by the way.” One hand moved, stretched out with her palm up as though he was going to place the gold into her hand there and then.
“I owe you nothing, you filthy cheater.” Sirius snapped as Hermione chuckled and settled more comfortably into his side. “Tell her, Moony.”
“She played fair and square Pads, you’re just a lousy player.” Remus spoke, holding up his hands as Marlene grinned, beckoning with her fingers only for Sirius to slap them away. “Which is probably why we shouldn’t do that.”
“How about we just break out Sirius’ whisky and enjoy the fact that we have the common room to ourselves for a couple of weeks.” Lily grinned, clapping her hands together and standing up from the sofa, ignoring James’ whine and grabbing hands.
Sirius’ mouth fell open as he looked to her. “Why my whisky?”
“And I’m pretty sure there are still people in the tower Lil’.” Hermione added, a few people had chosen to stay, it wasn’t many but she was sure there were still a good five other people right now in their dorms probably bored out of their heads and waiting for their friends to come back.
“Well they’re not here now and as Head girl I have the power to make them leave – and yes, because you’re the only one who stock piles on alcohol.” Lily answered as though it was nothing, waving her hand again and moving towards the stairs.
“Pretty sure Remus has more chocolate than I do alcohol.” Sirius shouted over his shoulder as Lily laughed.
“Good, then you can both share.” She shouted back, and then she was gone.
…
“I don’t remember agreeing to truth or dare.” Sirius complained an hour later, the seven of them sat around the coffee table with the bottle of whisky before them and half empty cups, speaking about everything and anything until it had suddenly turned into some kind of drinking game.
“It’s just truth.” James responded with a smirk, leaning back onto his hands and knocking his shoulder with Lily who giggled.
“The dares would be more fun.” Sirius commented back as he reached for his drink and rolled his eyes. Despite it being his alcohol he had been taking it easy, not allowing himself to slip back into the place he was the year before.
“No one has any urge to see your dick again.” Marlene scoffed, sipping her own drink and grinning as Sirius sent her a rude gesture with his middle finger.
“Again?” Edith asked with wide eyes, like Sirius she wasn’t drunk but perhaps more on the way than the others. Small as she was, it didn’t seem like it would take a lot to get her there.
Hermione wondered briefly if they had moments like this in Ravenclaw, sitting and drinking with friends or if it was reserved for the occasional party. She then remembered what Edith had said about friends, and guilt churned in her stomach.
How different it must have seemed for her.
“It’s like a rite of passage at this point, everyone in Gryffindor has seen it – but then again so have many of the girls in other houses.” Marlene spoke with a shrug before a broad grin took over her face and she cackled. “Including you!” She shouted, pointing at Edith who had the decency to blush even as Hermione glared.
“Barely, it wasn’t like I was staring at it or anything!” Edith all but shouted, throwing her hands into the air, her accent stronger than it was an hour ago, even as she smirked. “Not like there was enough time to even notice it really.” She chuckled, as did the rest of the group, Hermione included while Sirius blushed and gave her a glare.
“Piss off.” His cheeks were still red but there was a smile curving at the corner of his lips as Marlene laughed so much she fell into him.
“And really if we are on that topic – hasn’t half of this group done ‘stuff’ together?” Edith continued, waggling her eyebrows as the group frowned. “Don’t get out this circle much, do you?”
“What are you -”
“James and Lily, who used to be James and Marlene, to Remus who apparently shared a sweet nothing kiss with Hermione, and then Sirius and Hermione.” Edith explained, raising her eyebrows as she looked at them all. “Am I missing anything?” She asked before taking another sip of her drink and coughing slightly.
“James and Sirius once kissed on a dare.” Marlene answered with a devilish grin as Edith’s eyes widened.
“Marlene, Lily and Hermione have all kissed each other.” Sirius spoke with a sigh, leaning back onto his hands. His eyes glazed over slightly before he groaned as Lily’s hand collided into the side of his arm and Marlene smacked the back of his head.
“And so did Remus and Sirius, and Remus and James.” Lily teased as Sirius blushed, shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath while James cringed slightly.
“So Remus has snogged everyone here except Lily and myself?” Edith asked, raising an eyebrow at the boy in question as he stuttered over his words and came out with nothing. There was curiosity in her eyes as she nudged his shoulder slightly.
“Woah...we didn’t snog, it was a peck – for a dare.” James spoke, waving his hand with a grin as Sirius nodded in agreement.
“Sorry but…”
“And Marlene?” Lily asked as the rest of the group seemed to clock onto what Edith had said, looking between the two. “You said Remus has kissed everyone but me, but he hasn’t kissed...no! When?” A collective gasp sounded around the room as Remus’ cheeks turned pinker than ever and Marlene’s eyes went wide.
“Oh relax, it was before I met...the bloke I’m with now, and after James – at a party where we got a little drunk and had a snog, and then never spoke about it again and it hasn’t happened since.” Marlene remarked dryly, her cheeks slightly flushed as she narrowed her eyes. “Nor will it happen again.”
“Hear hear!” Remus cried, holding his cup in the air and toasting with Marlene, the pair grinning at each other.
“You lot are so strange.” Edith mumbled over her own cup.
“Well I feel kind of left out.” Lily cried, slapping her thighs as everyone turned to look at her, wide eyes as she pouted. “Everyone in this room has kissed Remus except me.” James’ eyes turned wide before he glared at Remus as though this was all his fault.
Edith raised her hand, letting out a small chuckle as she looked at the group before speaking. “I haven’t kissed Remus.”
“Did you want a kiss Lily?” Remus joked, sending a quick look to Edith who raised her eyebrows, teeth digging into her bottom lip and chin jutting out. Hermione frowned, sending a quick glare to Remus who didn’t seem to notice.
“No she does not!” James shouted, reaching forward to push Remus as away as the werewolf laughed and rolled backwards.
“I think I can decide that for myself, but he’s right – though our time will come Remus.” Lily whispered, sending a wink and ducking away from where James tried to grab her, a small smile on his face as he finally managed to wrap her in his arms.
“I’ll be looking forward to it.” Remus whispered back with another chuckle as he sat up straight.
“Do you remember when Sirius was meant to be the manwhore?” Marlene asked, placing her empty cup back on the table as Sirius sent her a quick glare and middle finger that had her laughing and rolling her eyes.
“I mean you have slept with two girls in this room.” James muttered under his breath before he seemed to think better of it, face scrunching up in disgust as he remembered one of those girls was his sister who was glaring at him.
“So have you!” Sirius shouted before he winced and let out a nervous laugh, holding up his hands as Lily regarded him coolly and James frowned. “Or you will do – some day – whenever that day comes, which we don’t need to know about because that is between the two of you.” He finished with another laugh before leaning into Hermione.
Who knew that her brother and Lily hadn’t gotten that far and probably wouldn’t for a while, not that she was interested in her brothers sex life, but Lily was a best friend and it meant she heard things. And past ‘amazing’ kissing and tender words, nothing else had gone on.
“Smooth, Pads.” Remus remarked, winking at his friend who grimaced.
“I try.”
“You know, I’ve always meant to ask about that.” Edith spoke again breaking the tension with a curious expression on her face as she leaned forward and looked between the three boys. “What’s with the weird nicknames you boys have?” She asked as a silence seemed to descend over the Common Room.
The girls looked to one another, eyebrows raised and waiting for one of the boys to answer. It wasn’t the first time they had been asked, when you had some weird nickname that made no sense to anyone else then people were going to ask, but it was the first time they all seemed panicked, like it wasn’t something they would be able to brush off.
Maybe because it was Edith, who was Remus’ friend, who thought werewolves weren’t bad people and seemed like a decent person. Or maybe it was the alcohol that had them all stunned.
“First of all we are not boys, but men.” James answered slowly, holding up a finger and blinking rapidly.
“Men!”
“And second – I am suddenly exhausted, better head up to bed – anyone else tired?” He turned to ask the rest of the group who stared back with wide eyes.
“Oh yeah, knackered.” Sirius answered as he scrambled to stand up after James, the pair of them moving slowly towards the stairs with wide eyes.
“Shattered really.” Remus spoke with a nervous grin before he was following. Marlene shrugging her shoulders as she too got up to follow the boys who were now running up the stairs, whispering between themselves.
Lily looked between the girls as Hermione raised an eyebrow, and then the rest of the group before she pointed towards the stairs. “I’m gonna – wait for me!” And then she was running away, leaving Hermione, Edith and Marlene behind to watch them go.
“Isn’t that to the boys dormitory?” Edith asked with a small smile as Hermione nodded her head. “They do realise all of them heading up there together doesn’t help the stories, don’t they? And that I can follow them if I wanted to?” She asked again as Hermione laughed. The amount of people who had seen the six of them running to the same room were the reason there were so many stories.
“Give it five minutes and we’ll go up and freak them out.” Hermione joked as Edith nodded her head in agreement and leant back on her hands. “Are you ok?”
“With what?”
“The thing Remus just did...I know it’s – he doesn’t think sometimes.” She explained softly as Edith raised her brows and shook her head. There was that tinge of sadness again, hidden in the stormy orbs and behind the cold expression on her face.
“It was a joke and he doesn’t owe me anything.” Edith spoke before reaching out for her drink
“Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.”
“It takes a lot more than a simple comment to hurt me, Potter, just ask my mum.” Edith bit out as she downed the rest of her drink and then stood up, stumbling slightly and giving a wide grin. “I better go actually, don’t want to be caught staggering around the halls too late.” A laugh left her mouth as she moved towards the exit.
“I can walk you back -”
“I think I can manage.” Edith laughed, shaking her head as Hermione bit her bottom lip and shook her head, following behind the girl as she left through the tunnel, her eyes narrowing as she spotted Hermione. “Really?”
“Just shut up.” Hermione snapped though there was a grin on her face as Edith rolled her eyes but moved forward anyway.
…
“Thanks for letting me join tonight – it was nice.” It was almost forced out of Edith’s mouth, a grimace taking over her pink cheeked face, and Hermione couldn’t help but smile. She might have found someone more emotionally stunted than herself, except she didn’t know the reasons why or maybe Edith was just like this with her.
“Anytime – I’m sure Remus would love to have you there.” Stormy eyes rolled as Hermione grinned at the girl, watching as she turned back towards the large door with it’s eagle knocker. “And the rest of us...well you aren’t that bad.”
“Thanks.”
“You could always join us Christmas morning, we like to sit together and open presents – and your brother stayed behind, didn’t he?” Hermione asked. She had seen Barney around, quite cute looking with his chubby cheeks and floppy styled dark blond hair, the same button nose and dimples that his sister had.
He smiled more than his sister though, less apprehension in his eyes when he spoke to his friends, which he seemed to have more than his sister, who was now narrowing her eyes at Hermione.
Hermione just smiled and continued speaking. “I’m sure he would love to see his sister Christmas morning before breakfast, and I’m sure Remus would love you there too.”
There was no smile on Edith’s face as she crossed her arms over her chest and regarded Hermione with what could only suspicion. “What are you doing?” Hermione’s mouth opened and then snapped closed as Edith rolled her eyes. “Look I appreciate the weird kindness and the walk back here but we don’t need to pretend like we are friends.”
“I’m not -”
“I’ll think about the Christmas thing and let you know.” Edith spoke before Hermione could finish her sentence, her voice sharp and slightly cold, a permanent frown seeming to settle across her face as she looked at the door behind her. “But right now, I’m going to...”
“Of course, I’ll see you later.” Hermione mumbled with a nervous smile as Edith turned and headed back to her own Common Room, muttering something under her breath that Hermione couldn’t hear.
The Ravenclaw door opened and closed, leaving Hermione to cringe slightly. Things had been going so well and she hadn’t meant to push Edith in any direction but it seemed that that was the path the pair of them went down. Like the other couldn’t help but push them there with barely a word.
Hermione sighed as she moved back through the corridor, her feet seeming to drag on the ground and worries filling her head.
“Hermione!” A voice hissed behind her, her wand drawn and a spell on her lips as she turned around to find her brothers head floating in midair. “You’ve been gone for ages, Sirius was ready to come and get you, but I came instead,” He grinned as he pulled the cloak off of his body and shoved it into his robe pocket.
“I was just speaking to Edith.”
“I know, I saw on the map – you shouldn’t be walking around by yourself.” It was like being scolded by a parents, hands on his hips and eyes narrowed.
“I can take care of myself.” Hermione snapped, wand twirling between her fingers as she glared at him, his eyes widening slightly but he stood his ground.
“Sirius thought the same and look at the position we are in now.”
“That’s not the same.” Hermione snapped, but he had a point. If Sirius could be got to so easily then so could she while she was walking the corridors alone, it was one reason why she hadn’t wanted Edith walking about. “Listen James -”
“Isn’t this the same place where you found the Room of Requirement?” Her brother cut her off as he looked around the corridor, hand running down the wall across the tapestry as though it would simply open at his touch.
“A version of it, yes.” Hermione answered as she copied him, arms crossed and a frown on her face. “It doesn’t seem to want to show me the real version.” It wasn’t like it could hear her but she couldn’t help the snide look that crossed her face even as James grinned.
“Maybe I should give it a try.”
“James -”
“Show me Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem!” His voice echoed on the walls and his went into the air, eyes closing and then opening as he frowned. “Well that didn’t work.”
“Of course it didn’t, you idiot – why would you even shout that?” Hermione hissed as she stepped back, looking around in case anyone was hanging around and heard her brother being stupid. It wouldn’t do well to have someone knowing what they were searching for.
“Well I thought that might work, maybe it needs more feeling or a different command – like what if it can’t be one specific thing but more general.” James muttered to himself, running a hand through his messy hair before he turned to look at Hermione with a frown. “What did you think when you found it?”
“About a place to hide for a bit.” She mumbled the words. It hadn’t exactly been the best day when she had stumbled across the room and it was a bit hard to recall exactly what she had done.
“Okay...alright…” He began pacing, eyes closed and hands together.
“I don’t think you have to pray…” Her mouth opened as a door appeared and James grinned at her, pushing his hands against the oak doors and stepping inside as Hermione followed him.
It was just like it had been in her dream, large with towering stacks of objects with thin walkways between them. There were some things that looked ancient and others that looked newer, and Hermione wanted to run her hands over all of them and discover why they had been hidden away.
She wanted to run through the halls and find the diadem, but with every glance around the room she was wondering how Harry had even found it in the first place and how she was supposed to remember every step she had taken in her dream because right now it seemed impossible to even know where to begin.
“We found it.” James sounded awestruck as he looked around before turning to look at Hermione with a grin, and she couldn’t stop her own as she grinned back.