Party in the Shack
Saturday the 27th of November 1976
Hermione sighed as she folded away the letter her mother had sent her, a weekly update on her parents lives, and questions for her children to answer about their own lives and the rumours their parents might have heard – not that Hermione could be sure what these days, as most people seemed to be more focused on the Daily Prophet and worry for their own families.
The table moved slightly, drinks wobbling as James sat opposite her, reaching for the coffee with a deep and tired sigh, as Hermione stared off at some blank space.
There was too much on her mind, and not enough time focus it seemed. So much to try and figure out with so little answers, and a million other things that took priority – it caused her head to ache and her whole body to seemingly sag under the weight of it all.
A tanned hand waved in her face as she blinked, turning to see Marlene sat beside her brother, staring at her with raised eyebrows.
“You ok?”
Hermione nodded, avoiding James’ eyes as she picked at the food on her plate. “Fine – how are you?” She asked, more to take the attention off of her before either could ask why she was drifting away.
“Great.”
“Sounds like it.” James remarked dryly before he spoke again. “Are you coming down to watch the match today?” James asked, biting into his breakfast and humming in approval as Hermione shrugged her shoulders and looked around at the quite empty Great Hall.
“Am I now being forced to watch Quidditch even if you aren’t playing?” Hermione asked amused as she picked at her toast, throwing a piece into her mouth as James glowered at her.
“It’s Ravenclaw vs Hufflepuff, the first match of the season for them, and since we thrashed Slytherin, we need to know what we are up against for our next matches.” James explained with wide eyes as though it was the most important thing to do this date as Hermione chuckled.
“Well when you say it like that…”
“Come on, Sirius will be there.” Her brother was a dick, one that clearly enjoyed teasing her and using his best friend as some sort of bargaining chip like it would get her to do anything just because they had slept in the same bed a couple of time.
“Because I don’t see him everyday.” Hermione responded dryly as James pouted out his bottom lip and leaned forward, like some lanky baby deer. “Fine, it’s not like I have anything better to do.” She added under her breath as he was grinning in a second.
“You could go to that party tonight.”
Hermione scrunched up her face as James laughed, while Marlene looked between them both with a frown. “Party?”
“Yeah, it’s some seventh year dick is turning 18th..” James clarified with a wave of his hand as Hermione shook her head, she couldn’t even tell you the students name, just that he had a habit of being loud and overly annoying. “So we decided to go drink in the Shrieking Shack instead.”
More like Sirius had suggested it when he moaned about missing out on a night of drinking after he had been so good for weeks, which lead to Remus and James expressing their need to let loose and thus the planning had begun, and now Hermione and Lily were being dragged along.
“What – isn’t that a little risky?” Marlene hissed, looking around as Hermione bit back a laugh.
“It’s not like Moony’s furry little problem is happening tonight, nor are we going to walk to it through Hogsmeade and let everyone see – we are going through the tunnel.” James explained with a roll of his eyes as Marlene turned to frown down at her food. “So are you coming or not?”
“Er...I can’t.”
Hermione frowned, food raised to her mouth and quickly put back on her plate. “Planning on going to the party without us, Marly?”
“No, I just have other plans.” Marlene answered defensively as Hermione raised her eyebrow. It was clear the girl wasn’t about to admit what she was doing, which made Hermione think it might have something to do with the bright eyed boy that kept looking their way.
“Without us?”
“Yes.”
“I feel offended.” James gasped, raising his hand to dry an imaginary tear as Marlene rolled her eyes at him. “I didn’t know you had other friends.” He added in a whisper before grinning slightly.
“Who has other friends?” Lily asked as she sat herself beside Hermione, Sirius slipping in beside her and reaching around the redhead to pull on a black curl, while Remus more gracefully sat beside James.
“Marlene apparently.” Hermione answered as Lily let out a small laugh, covering the bottom of her face with her hand and apologising softly through her chuckles, her cheeks a happy sort of pink and her eyes sparkling.
“Since when?”
“You’re all dicks.” Marlene bit out, sipping her coffee, but not seeming upset in the slightest – though Hermione doubted it was hard to be offended when they only spent time with each other.
“And you’re a liar, you aren’t meeting any friends – you’re just meeting him again.” Lily outed as she straightened herself up, her moment of humour gone to be replaced with a knowing smile as everyone turned to look at Marlene, her eyes wide and her mouth open.
“I can’t believe you’re choosing him over us.” James whispered bitterly, with a frown as he stared at Marlene, glaring as he shoved a whole egg in his mouth while Marlene watched him in disgust.
“I am not choosing -”
“Bring him along.” Hermione spoke before her brain could stop her as everyone turned to look at her, and now she had to look for a reason to defend her words. “We all know he isn’t like the others, and it isn’t fair for Marlene to keep hiding her love -”
“I am not in love.”
“- so why don’t we see what we make of him, and if he is worthy of our Marlene.” Hermione spoke as the rest nodded their heads, seeming more fine with the idea as she gave her stance. Everyone except Marlene who seemed to be shifting between annoyance and nervousness.
…
“Why am I blindfolded?”
“So you don’t see where we are going.”
“Reassuring.” Regulus chuckled as he stumbled over his own feet and gripped Hermione’s hand tighter.
It was slightly amusing to see, had been even more amusing when she had been the one to turn up instead of Marlene, with a small smile and her wand pointed at him as she explained that he couldn’t see where they were going.
Surprisingly he had agreed, slightly nervously, but ready – and had taken her hand and let her lead him with the upmost trust. Whether he though because it would help him with Marlene or because he did trust her, she didn’t know nor did she ask, but instead carried on with the job the group had sent her to do.
“You know when I agreed to this, I didn’t think it would be quite like this – I am seriously considering backing out.” Regulus mumbled, though there was a slight smile on his face as he stumbled again over the roots of the Whomping Willow that Hermione had just frozen in place.
“Too late for that now – now watch your head.” She added with a grin he could no doubt hear as she gently tapped the top of his head to lead him into the tunnel.
“What the – fucking hell, Hermione!” Regulus cried as he let go of her hand, spinning in her direction, his eyebrows pulled down in a frown but without seeing his eyes it was almost comical, as he rubbed the back of his head where a slightly too hard push had just been delivered.
“That wasn’t me.”
“Evening, baby brother.”
“Sirius.” Regulus sighed as he turned to face his brother, slightly off as Hermione smiled at the silver eyed boy as he watched them both. “Where’s Marlene?” He pouted after a second, moving his head as though trying to look around.
“Relax, you’ll be reacquainted with your lover girl soon enough.” Sirius scoffed, moving forward and bending down slightly to look in his brother’s covered face. “But before we go any further, I just want to say that if you tell anyone about where we are then I will hurt you.”
“You know, that would be a lot scarier if it came from Hermione.” Regulus deadpanned, and moved backwards as though he knew Sirius was about to shove him.
Hermione couldn’t help but laugh and sending Sirius a smug smile. Not that she enjoyed being the one who could clearly threaten Regulus, but it was nice to know that she had some kind of power over these Slytherin’s, that she was the one they were scared of.
Sirius seemed to have had enough as he led them the rest of the way, sending annoyed glances as Hermione placed Regulus’ hands on her shoulders and carried on walking behind him, looking like some weak parody of that train dance that Muggles did.
For all his muttering behind her, Regulus didn’t pull away or stumble – he could have easily raised a hand and pulled off the blindfold but he didn’t – which was good because as they entered the room there were some mixed reactions.
James didn’t seem to care as much, he had been there after all when they got Sirius out; Remus seemed on the verge of sheepishness and unsure, but it seemed more to do with the location they were in; Lily was sceptical, looking at the boy with cold eyes and a tense jaw; And Marlene...well Hermione didn’t think she had ever seen Marlene look as soft as she did now.
“Guess whose here.” Sirius spoke sarcastically, waving his hands as Hermione moved to push Regulus forward.
“Why is he wearing a blindfold?” Marlene asked, the soft look turning into one of annoyance as she looked between Sirius and Hermione for answers, icy eyes colder than the first day of winter.
“I wasn’t allowed to show him where we were going.” Hermione explained, sending a quick look to Remus – Regulus already knew but she wasn’t about to tell everyone that, nor was she going to show Regulus how to get into the Shrieking Shack after what had happened with Snape.
“Honestly, Mar, he seems pretty comfortable with it on – guess we know how you spend your nights.” Sirius joked, though the annoyance still lingers on his face as he dodges Marlene’s annoyed slap to his leg with a small laugh.
It seemed Regulus hadn’t found it funny either as he swung in the general direction of Sirius only to end up nearly punching James in the face and only stopped by Hermione’s grabbing of his wrist and a quick annoyed hiss.
“See this is why we don’t invite snakes up here!” James hissed at the rest of the group before gripping Regulus’ shoulders before pulling off the blindfold and glaring down at the boy. “Merlin, mate, I was only trying to help with the blindfold.”
“Sorry.” Regulus muttered back awkwardly. “At least you’re not the snake knowingly walking into a lion den.” As if to prove his point, he gestured the group that were watching him, the only one seeming fine with him here being Marlene.
The whole room seemed to fill with tense energy, the seven of them looking between each other as they waited for someone to speak and break the ice, or to say what half of them were probably thinking and sending Regulus away.
It’s only when Lily let out a cough and stood up, looking around at each of them before taking a deep breath that the energy settled slightly. “Would you – do you want a sip?” Cautiously she stretched out her hand and offered the bottle of whiskey. “Don’t worry, you won’t catch of my dirty blood.”
Lily is many things, but the main thing is that she is proud of who she is – intelligent, loyal and a Muggleborn – but she is also slightly cruel at times, and unforgiving at others – if Regulus knew that then he didn’t show it as he stared at the girl that was seemingly testing him.
Though they all knew if he refused he would be kicked out and ignored faster than they could say bye.
“I wasn’t thinking that – thank you...Evans.” Regulus muttered with a small smile as he reached to take the bottle, his fingers brushing over her own as if to show he didn’t care, before taking a sip and wincing. “So anyone want to tell me why I am here?”
“Marlene likes you.” James spoke as though it was obvious even as Marlene let out a small noise of disapproval. “And I guess Hermione thinks your decent, and you helped save Sirius and all – despite the erm...well what that cost so – I guess we owed you that – plus Marlene also mentioned how you’ve never been to a party and you might as well do it right with the best of the best.” James grinned, gesturing to the group.
It was a sad excuse for a party, in the torn apart and dingy room of the Shrieking Shack, no music and a couple of bottles of Sirius’ whiskey, with a group of people who looked like they wanted to be anywhere else.
“Right – and this isn’t some thing where you all interrogate me?” Regulus asked with a raised eyebrow as he moved to sit down between Remus and Marlene.
“We know what you are, we also know what you’ve done – and well some of us might not agree with it -” Hermione responded gently as she sat herself between Sirius and Lily, slapping their knees and sending them a look. “ - we know you aren’t as bad as others.”
“Though if talk about Quidditch then we know that you aren’t the best either.” James added with a grin as he fell between Lily and Remus in their weird make shift circle.
“Your seeker was out of line – your beater was too.”
“All is fair in Quidditch.” Sirius snapped as he reached for the bottle, taking a quick sip and shoving it into Hermione’s hand, his whole body looking as though it might explode from pent up annoyance.
“Still think you have no right to call us a bunch of dirty cheats when you yourselves do some questionable moves.” Regulus commented, though he looked amused as Marlene shoved his shoulder in response, her face once again soft as she looked at the boy.
“I would say genius.” James spoke with a large grin as Regulus actually let out a laugh. “So what’s going on here?” And just like that the tension was back as he pointed between Regulus and Marlene with raised eyebrows.
“Are you jealous, Potter?”
“For fucks sake.” Marlene muttered under her breath, placing her hand into her hands.
“Are you jealous, Black?” James asked back as everyone turned to look at him in shock.
He was someone was bragged about him and Marlene and what they might have done, at most it came up in slight jokes or digs from their friends but that was as far as it went. But here James sat, looking slightly annoyed as he stared between the two, hazel eyes glinting almost dangerously.
Hermione felt a slight hint of panic rise in her chest, she could almost feel Lily scoff beside her, this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. James was supposed to move on, and didn’t he like Lily and….
“Scared Marly might come running back to me?” Hermione gaped as Regulus blinked at the serious looking James, before her brother broke and Hermione let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. “I’m joking, man, me and Mar are just good friends, nothing more.” Marlene seemed to sigh as James grinned.
“Well this is shaping up to be a fun evening.” Hermione hissed as she took a swing of the bottle, shoving it into Lily who took a rather large gulp.
“It would have been a lot more fun if we had just stuck to our own.” Sirius muttered as Hermione hit him in the side and shook her head. It seemed like Regulus didn’t hear but she couldn’t be sure as he sat tensely between Remus and Marlene.
“We should have brought some music.” Lily commented dryly with a sigh, picking at the pale pink colour on her nails.
James nodded his head in agreement. “That was my plan but the dick took the radio.” He pouted slightly as Lily gave him an amused smile and rubbed his arm gently.
“We could play a game, maybe never have I ever, let Regulus know a bit more about ourselves.” Remus piped in, turning to give Regulus a tight lipped smile as Sirius scoffed, stretching out his legs and levelling Remus with a look.
“Because we should be open with our secrets around a Deatheater.”
“Shut up, Sirius.” Marlene hissed, pinching his arm as Hermione shook her head again. They should have expected Sirius’ bad mood around his family, even if it was a tiny bit unreasonable. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine, I guess we have to talk about this sometime, I just thought it would be between me and you and your friends wouldn’t be here.” Regulus commented as he rubbed his hands against his trousers, sitting himself up straight and looking around Marlene at his brother.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Sirius claimed, refusing to meet his eyes and instead playing with a piece of thread on his t-shirt.
“Don’t lie, Sirius, you’ve clearly got some things to say and honestly it’s probably better that we have some alcohol and mediators here to stop it from going too far.” Regulus gestured to the bottle clutched in James’ hands, smiling when it was handed over so he could take a sip and pass it Sirius who let out another scoff and passed the bottle to Hermione.
Regulus’ face fell as the rest of the group grimaced. The boy had no idea what had happened between Sirius, school and alcohol, how quickly he could fall into a pit of despair that only a bottle of whiskey could stop for a while. He had no idea how much had changed in so little time.
It was Lily who seemed to have some sort of pity for him as she leaned around Remus and offered him a cautious smile. “It’s not you – he’ll have a drink soon, but he likes to take it a bit easier these days.”
“What -” Regulus began with a frown as he looked back to Sirius. “I’ve never known you to turn down a drink.”
“Something of a recent thing, after I almost got expelled for drinking underage because my family tortured me and my brother became a Deatheater.” Sirius spoke dryly, casting one quick glance to the now sad looking Regulus.
“It was more like because you kept pulling out a flask at lunch and getting pissed in the evening...sorry, not the right time.” James stopped with a grimace.
“So they gave you a drinking problem as well as long term trauma?” Regulus asked a second later, no humour in his voice as he watched Sirius take a small sip of the bottle, it was nothing really, not even enough to get the weakest of people drunk but it seemed to mean something to Regulus.
“It’s not a drinking problem if I am managing it, is it?”
“Yeah but how long can you manage it for?” Regulus asked as his whole expression turned sad, his eyes seemingly slightly watery as he looked back at Sirius. “I’m sorry -” Sirius looked at him in apprehension as Regulus continued. “I’m sorry that you went through that but...but you weren’t even supposed to come home and -”
“So this is my fault?” Sirius asked with a laugh, silver eyes flashing as he gripped the bottle again and Hermione sighed. This was not how the night was supposed to go.
“No, no.” Regulus spoke softly, shaking his head. “Sirius, this was…you tried to do what you could but...you were never supposed to join – it was always supposed to be me.” Regulus whispered, seeming a lot more tense as he all but outed himself.
“How do you figure that?”
“Because I can do this, I can manage everything I am told to do – I can play the part of the perfect heir and I can keep you safe.” Hermione stared, brow furrowing in sadness as the sixteen year old boy tried to play the part of an adult, but looked so young that it was almost hard to believe.
“It’s not your job to keep me safe.” Sirius snapped back, but some of the anger had melted and replaced by what looked like disappointment.
“It is when you will kill yourself to try and do the same for me – and I would rather be on the wrong side and have you alive and hating me than watch you get yourself killed.” Regulus admitted softly, his eyes brimming with tears, his hand clutched tightly in Marlene’s as he watched his brother, waiting for him to say something.
Her heart felt as though it was in her throat as she looked between the brothers. It was a strange sight to see, a rare occasion that had never really happened throughout the years, and painful to watch.
Maybe it was because Hermione had been blessed in the sibling department, that her and James loved and protected each other, and that they all knew she would hunt him down if he even tried to do something stupid to protect her – and visa versa. They loved and they weren’t ashamed of their love for each other.
Yet looking between Regulus and Sirius was almost like watching two people who knew their feelings but couldn’t quite understand why they felt that way or why the should show it. Too many years of being angry and forced apart to be able to come back smoothly.
She watched as Sirius took another sip, a tiny bit longer than the last one before looking at his brother with a grim smile. “Maybe you’ll just have to kill me instead.”
It so silent that you could almost hear a pin drop as everyone looked between the brothers, more focused on Regulus as he gulped slightly, gripping his sleeve and wincing. “Never.” Whether anyone else noticed or not, Hermione couldn’t sure, but his eyes flickered over to her, his gaze holding more meaning than she could understand.
“You’re fucking ridiculous, Reg.” Sirius barked out with a cold laugh, shaking his head. “You’ve joined someone how wants half the people in this room dead, while trying to spend your time ignoring the choices you’ve made – I mean you sneak off to meet Marlene, and you come here tonight when you know how it will look if he finds out.”
The atmosphere in the room changed as everyone avoided each others eyes, the truth hitting them like a slap in the face. It was all fine and dandy to pretend that they weren’t aware, to watch the brothers with wide eyes like it didn’t effect them but they all knew the truth.
And clearly Regulus did too, and Hermione wasn’t going to ask what he might have been tasked with when his eyes kept looking over to her – making it clear she was involved in some way – they all were really.
“Did it ever occur to you that I have a plan? That I know what I’m doing – that there is a reason I joined and it’s not the horrible shit you are probably thinking of me – I’m not so far gone, Sirius, that I don’t know what’s right or wrong.” Regulus suddenly snapped, bright blue eyes narrowed and teeth bared as he looked at his older brother.
“Reg -”
“Do you think I would sit here tonight with all of you? That I would willingly put myself in a stupid position if I agreed with what he says?” Regulus asked with surprising hostility that didn’t suit his much softer voice. “Do you think I would be able to be here with Evans and Lupin if I thought like them?” He reached out to snatch the bottle from Sirius, taking a long sip.
Hermione sucked in a breath as Lily narrowed her eyes, but her focus was on Remus who had gone pale, green eyes flickering rapidly. “Because I’m a Halfbloo-”
“Because you’re a fucking werewolf.” Regulus snapped before his face softened and he let out a breath. “Don’t worry, I haven’t told anyone and I don’t plan on doing that, and really what difference does it make to me when you spend your time hiding in here and staying safe.” He added, looking at Remus timidly who was a second away from passing out.
Sirius growled, drifting back and forth between anger and worry for his friend. “Did Snape tell -”
“No.” Regulus spoke softly, shaking his head. “He’s kept his mouth shut – no, I figured it out.” He looked back to Remus, taking a deep breath. “Don’t worry, I really won’t tell – and if you are worried that he knows well...that depends on whether you told Pettigrew or not.” Someone sucked in a breath and Regulus frowned.
“Peter…?” James asked with a frown as Regulus turned to look at him in surprise. “So he’s really joined?” It came out oddly choked despite how they all knew it was true but to hear it from someone who was in that inner circle was sad.
It had felt like a life ago since the chubby watery eyed boy was a part of their mix, since Hermione had felt a large level of distrust for the boy, had done what she could to get him out – but why?
A quiet hiss left her mouth as she raised her hand to brush against her faint scar, obviously her instincts had turned out to be true but why had they been there – gut feeling was one thing but she could remember the fear and burning dislike that turned to hatred when she had looked at him or spoke to him – like he had done something...but what?
Her teeth clenched together against the pain in her head –
"Just before he transformed. When I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I'd betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself — and sped down into the sewer with the other rats…"
"Didn't you ever hear, R...? The biggest bit of Peter they found was his finger."
She knew those voices, she had spent years listening to them, but she had never heard this. Peter wasn’t a rat, or he was but no literally...and Lily and James – and Sirius. Her head throbbed against the unknown memory, forced upon her by simple words and her overworking mind.
No one seemed to notice her suddenly pain or the way her stomach rolled against the small amount of alcohol as they spoke among themselves, soft voices that sounded hurt as they responded to whatever Regulus had said – but she didn’t care.
Her legs almost buckled under her as she rushed to stand up, stumbling towards the door as everyone stopped talking.
“Hermione -”
She didn’t answer as she rushed out of the room and back towards the tunnel, bile rising up her throat as she stumbled in the tunnel, finally giving in to her rolling stomach as she bent over, her eyes stinging against the smell and alcohol, but also over what she had forced herself to face.
Sinking against the tunnel, she let the pathetic tears fall, pulling her knees to her chest as she heard to soft footsteps of her brother – of course he would come running after her.
“What happened?” He asked as he sat beside her, careful to avoid the small puddle of vomit that was by her feet. She didn’t look at him as the tears fell, but she could almost hear the gears in his head turning. “Did you – did you remember something?” He asked in a soft breath, careful in case someone was listening to them.
How could she even explain something? How could she explain how it both made sense and didn’t? That her fucked up brain was struggling to comprehend what she had actually heard, and not seen – a brief conversation that gave her some answers and yet seemingly nothing that she could actually use.
James seemed to understand as he wrapped his arms around her, gently pulling on her head so it could rest on his shoulder, his larger hands rubbing up and down her arm as she silently cried. “Just breath – it’s alright...whatever it is, we will figure it out – I’ve got you.”
She never doubted that he didn’t, not a for a second, as he continued to mumble words into the side of her head, offering her a comfort she didn’t know she needed until she had it.
Something had happened, or would happen, that included Peter, Sirius, James and Lily – perhaps Remus also – something that went wrong and ended badly, because they had trusted the wrong person, for whatever reason.
And Hermione needed to make sure they didn’t do that again, that Peter was kept far away from them all, but mainly her brother – because she would be lost if James was gone, and it was her job to keep him safe – something she had hopefully done with Peter no longer around, but these days she couldn’t be 100% sure that she had succeeded.
So she would keep going to make sure she would, that James would get to live the peaceful life he deserved.