The Biggest Sacrifice

Saturday the 30^th of October 1976

Things had been both weird and somehow better since the run in with Snape and Regulus.

It was just something none of them seemed to talk about, like it was taboo, like talking about the fact that Regulus was half and half in his choices and that Snape was aware of it and actively threatening them was not a subject that needed to be discussed.

It was. Hermione knew that – but she wasn’t going to bring it up to anyone, but especially not Sirius – not when things seemed to be better between them these days. And it wasn’t a subject that should be brought up during pillow talk.

Not that they even had pillow talk.

They spoke like friends during their late night studying, maybe a closer than two normal friends would, and maybe they ended up falling asleep and cuddling but it was nothing more than that, plus whatever little moments they had between them.

Yet Hermione couldn’t help but feel slightly tempted. She was a woman, legal and no longer a blushing virgin, who spent most of her morning waking up half on top of a handsome man who made her nights feel normal. And it was hard not to be attracted to the scruff, and messy waves, or the hooded tired eyes that often greeted her.

Though it was just another thing they didn’t talk about but just did. And every morning she was tempting, toeing the line they had carefully drawn and forced to remind herself what had happened the last time she gave in and how it had ended for her.

Still...No, attraction didn’t mean like – and she wasn’t going to do something that could ruin everything.

“So who’s excited for Hogsmeade?” His arm slipped around her shoulders as he grinned at her, reaching for his coffee with his other hand as he added a wink. “I heard someone has a…”

His voice trailed off as she stared at him, confused – see that was the other thing, if he felt anything which sometimes she was sure he did, why would he be happy about her going to see her ex? Wouldn’t that be slightly sad? Wouldn’t he be worried that she might want to go back to Zach? Or was he just unbothered by it all?

“Pads, get off my sister – better yet – move to the other side.” James scoffed, pulling Sirius’ arm from her shoulders and pushing his best friend away to squeeze into the limited space.

Sirius grinned, leaning around James to place a kiss on Hermione’s cheek, it’s sloppy and his slight stubble scratches at the skin below but her cheeks still flush and the urge to turn her head is stronger than it should be. So instead she faces forward, listening to the muffled sound of Sirius trying to escape James’ slap by scrambling under the table.

He appears on the other side, opposite her with a leering grin as he turns to look at Lily. “Nice knickers, Evans.”

“Marlene, come sit over here so I don’t punch him in the head.” Marlene scoffed but did as she was told, sliding under the table herself as Lily glared at Sirius who was holding up his hands and grinning widely.

“I’m just joking – I didn’t see anything.”

“Though I can safely if he had that he wouldn’t be lying – they are a rather nice pair, Lil, did you get them from that Ann woman again?” Asked Marlene innocently as Hermione chocked on her drink and Lily turned bright red. “You’ll have to take me this Christmas – and you should come too, Mi’, especially if we are to get you back out there.”

Hermione narrowed her eyes, amused and annoyed. “And who says I want to get back out there?”

“Well no one but if meeting your ex at Hogsmeade and spending all your ‘time’ with this one -” Her thumb jabbed into the side of Sirius’ head as he glared at her. “- is any indication then I think it’s time to have a bit of fun.” Her eyebrows waggled and her grin turned wide as Hermione fought the instinct to blush.

“No, no, no it’s not.” James snapped, turning to glare at Hermione. “No fun for you.”

“Don’t be boring and sad just because it’s been nearly a year since you got anything.” Marlene moaned, leaning to rest her head on her hand. “Hermione, sweetie, how many months has it been since Zach?”

“Four and a half months.”

“That’s too long, you have to be dying – I mean, do you want to end up like this sad sack over here?” Marlene asked aghast as she pointed to James, Hermione winced. Truth was, it had been a few months and she couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t a bit curious to scratch the itch.

“Why am I being dragged into this?” James asked. “You do realise that there is more to life than sex, right?” He had a point but it was hard to see that when urges came to light and silver eyes caught her attention.

“Of course, but you do realise that I sleep in the same room as your sister and I’m not blind to seeing how she might need a little something something.” No, too far. She didn’t do things like that – not when she knew people might be listening and she could be called out.

“I’m going to throw up.” James moaned.

“That makes two of us – what is your point, Marlene?”

“Listen, no one would be upset if you decide to have a final bang with Zach, I’ve seen his face and I agree, but you guys broke up for a reason and I think you need to enjoy that reason.” Marlene spoke softly, reaching out to pat her hand as Hermione blinked at her.

Yes there had been reasons, the main one being that he was leaving – maybe if they had been in the same year then things might have been different but he was gone. Of course there were other reasons but it seemed pointless to try and say anything when one of the those reasons was staring at her with avid interest.

It was just too much and too personal. They didn’t need to be having this conversation over breakfast in front of her brother. They didn’t need to be having this conversation full stop.

“Like for example – why not try the guy who’s been staring at you for the better part of half an hour?” Marlene asked as she nodded towards the Hufflepuff table, the group turning as one to look at a blushing boy with dirty blond hair and hazel eyes staring at her.

He turned away timidly in a second before Hermione looked away. “I don’t even know who he is.”

“There’s one way to get to know him.” Marlene hinted. “He’s not that bad looking.” She added as an after thought as Hermione frowned.

"You go out with him then."

“No thanks.”

“Yeah, he seems a bit too blond for your taste – you prefer darker hair don’t you?” Lily teased, a wicked grin on her face as Hermione smirked. Remus seemed to be holding in his laughter, Sirius looked more amused and James just looked uncomfortable.

Marlene blushed as she turned to face Lily. “Like most girls at this table I imagine.” She scoffed as Lily narrowed her own eyes before looking back at Hermione. “So what do you -”

“I’m not sleeping with some random guy.” Or anybody for that matter but that could still be up for debate depending on the person.

Marlene pursed her lips and sent a quick look to Sirius. “Is it because of whatever you and this idiot have going on?” Everyone froze as she brought up one of the things they had all managed to ignore.

Sirius looked to her, slightly unbothered and yet intrigued as Hermione rolled her eyes. “No, it’s because you’re clearly projecting your own wants onto me and I’m not interested.”

“I don’t buy it.” Marlene bit out, narrowing her eyes and looking between Hermione and Sirius.

“You sound jealous, McKinnon.” Sirius added after a second, going back to eating his food as though they were just talking about the weather and nothing else.

“Fuck off, I would rather Avada myself.” Marlene snapped as Sirius turned to look at her.

“Rude and hurtful.”

“Not like you don’t have plenty of other girls to stroke your ego.” She grinned, a wicked gleam in her eye as she looked back to Hermione. “Or should I say just one girl?” Merlin, she loves Marlene but sometimes the girl is too much and too involved.

“How is the Astronomy Tower these days?” Hermione asked with her own sweet smile as she leaned onto the table. “I bet it’s chilly waiting around for hours, hoping that a certain someone might show.” It was slightly cold and Marlene recoiled as though she had been slapped but Hermione doesn’t care enough to apologise. “I better go – need to get ready and everything.”

…

Hogsmeade was no busier than usual but there was an odd air around it.

The students didn’t seem to linger as much in the streets, instead heading towards shops and walking in larger groups – their eyes flickering towards the people that paced up and down watching everyone, but mainly the man with more scars than anyone should have and a general bad attitude as he barked at them.

Alastor Moody. Her father’s boss and Head Auror. And clearly someone important enough to bring back the familiar itch in her brain.

“What are you staring at?”

“Is he here?” Hermione asked after a second, shoving her hands into her robes and looking around, trying to find the more familiar face than the man before her. “Please tell me he isn’t.” She all but demanded as she turned back to face the gritty man.

“He isn’t.” Moody growled out, glaring down at her. “Not that it’s any of your business, girl, but he’s away on other matters.” He added as he limped further up the path, growling again as Hermione walked by his side with a knowing smile.

“Auror business?” She asked innocently as he turned to look at her with narrowed eyes as she leaned forward to whisper. “Or the other one?”

“You’re too nosy for your own good – I keep telling your father that but he never listens.” His teeth grated together as he pointed a large finger in her face. Manners and etiquette were clearly something Alastor Moody didn’t care about.

“A family trait I’m told.”

“Not that I care.” He growled, narrowing his eyes and looking further down the street before back to her. “Now what are you doing lingering around?”

“What are the Aurors doing wandering around Hogsmeade?” Hermione challenged as she turned to look pointedly at the group of Aurors on the road to the castle, far too stiff and wary to even blend in with everyone else. “I doubt the Death Eaters have nothing better to do than attack a bunch of students.” Though it was doubtful.

“Don’t doubt anything, lassie – now get out of my sight – I’ve had enough of your questions.” He growled, waving a hand at her, trying his best to hobble away from her laugh and grin as she nodded her head and turned around.

“Right away, Mr Moody.” He grumbled something at her, not that she stayed around to look as she moved further into the town.

Her question had been answered, her father wasn’t here nor was he going to be watching over her shoulder – which on any other day she would have been glad to see him, but after the couple of months she had had and the detention she had received for punching Stebbins in the nose, and also meeting her ex – she just didn’t think it would be a great conversation.

The letter had been bad enough, expressing disappointment and understanding in a few short phrases before reminding her how much they loved her and how they would speak about this at Christmas. It just added to the already heavy guilt that seemed to follow her everywhere.

Maybe she could try and convince everyone to stay here for Christmas.

“Hermione!” A small squeal left her mouth as a pair of hands settled around her waist, pulling her into a hard chest and lifting her from the floor.

“Hey!” She all but screamed as he spun her around before putting her down on the floor, barely giving her a chance to breath before she was pulled into one of the tightest hugs in her life – warm and comforting, and just Zach.

“It’s been too long.”

“It really has.”

Her head leaned back to look at him, though he didn’t look too different from four months ago there was something a bit harder about him and something so boyish that it made her smile. Maybe it was the slightly longer hair that seemed to fit in with the Muggle style, or the slight stubble on his chin – or even the Ministry robes he was wearing.

Something felt slightly different.

“Merlin, I’ve missed you so much.” He reached down again as he spoke, pulling her into his side and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead – one there would have been butterflies but now there was just warmth. “You look great.”

“Pretty sure I look the same as I always do.” Hermione answered amused, rubbing her hands down her robes and checking. The same turtle neck and skirt combo underneath with knee high boots, her curls were breaking free from the plait she had tried to put them in and the necklace Sirius had given her rested gently on her sternum. Nothing was too different. “I missed you too.”

His face softened and the same smile that had always made her heart skip returned, though without the heart skipping.

It was strange to look into the face of a man she had been with not four months ago and feel nothing but a strange affection – one that seemed closer to what she felt for Remus though with the added bonus of knowing what he looked like without his robes on. The romantic feelings seemed to have slowly died down, and it almost made her sad.

“So what have you been up to?” He asked as they began walking slowly towards the shops.

Hermione craned her head to look at him, a soft smile on her face. “Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that – mainly just focusing on my classes.” And trying her best to get through the mountains of problems and anxiety that seemed to loom over her.

Zach nodded his head, hands in the pockets of his robes as they stopped before Zonko’s. “And how about...how are you feeling after...you know…” He didn’t need to say it, she knew what he was asking and she wished he wouldn’t.

Her mouth opened to speak, the words feeling oddly heavy in her throat as the door opened the spell tinkled around it, the sound of children inside hitting their ears.

“Hey Zach! How have you been, mate?” James. Merlin, she could hug him right now for saving her from the awkward questions and vague answers she would have to give – or the honesty that would leave her mouth the moment his kind eyes looked at her.

Zach seemed more off put at the appearance of her brother and her friends, sans Marlene and Lily, stood there looking between them both. He smiled despite the interruption, reaching out to shake James’ hand. “Not too bad, not too bad – and what about yourselves? Planning a big prank?” He asked slightly tense as he pointed to their bags, moving to shake Remus’ hand.

“Ah you know us, got to give the people what they want.” James answered cheekily but his hazel eyes seemed a bit hard as Zach moved onto Sirius, the pair looking at each other awkwardly as Sirius reached out to shake Zach’s hand.

“Of course.” He stood still for a moment, tensing his jaw before looking back at Sirius. “Heard about what happened with your family, mate – I’m sorry.”

Everyone waited on edge, waiting for Sirius to flip out or make some kind of joke as he stood watching Zach with slightly narrowed eyes, his mouth forming into a tight smile as he nodded his head. “Thanks man, I appreciate that but it all worked out for the best and well, you know – these lot have helped.” Yet his eyes lingered slightly long on Hermione.

Her whole face felt like it was burning as she looked between the two boys. The one she had given herself to and it had ended decently enough, and the other one who she had spent the past few nights curled up around and who seemed to fit in some box between friends and something more.

Zach nodded his head, a slightly sad expression taking over his face as he looked at Hermione. “Yeah...yeah...they’re good like that.”

“Well...er….we were going to go to the three broomsticks if you fancy joining us.” James spoke suddenly, cringing from beside Hermione as Zach nodded his head and Remus’ eyes widened slightly. It felt like she was missing something. “Is he here?” James suddenly asked her.

Hermione frowned and shook her head. “No – but Moody is.”

“Moody’s here?” Zach asked, moving to stand beside Hermione’s side as his neck craned to look for the grumpy Auror, the four watching him in confusion. “I needed to talk to him.” He added but it was a whisper, turning his head to look at the three boys. “Thanks for the offer, but I thought we might just walk about for a bit.”

“Yeah, no problem, and if you change your mind then you know where to find us.” James spoke, though his eyes lingered on Hermione as he turned, throwing a wave over his shoulder as he reached out to drag Sirius away with Remus following them.

Hermione watched them, waiting until they were out of hearing distance before turning back to Zach. “Why did you need to speak to Moody – he’s not even in your department.”

“It was just something I needed to ask.”

…

Something was off.

And it wasn’t the lack of romance between them nor the fact that they are walking and talking like two friends – she didn’t come here for anything more. That was finished, and she was glad she had it for a time, but it was something more than that.

Zach had always had a cool and calm air around him, it was part of the reason why she had liked him and gone out with him. He was different than the boys she spent her time around. But today was like another person was subtly taking over – though he paid her attention as they walked, speaking about everything, his head swivelled around far too much and his eyes lingered over everyone.

Which could be considered normal in a world participating in a growing war, but it was something else. Something she just couldn’t quite put her finger on as they walked in the Three Broomsticks.

James, Sirius and Remus seemed to have gone or be hidden somewhere, not that she minded as she dragged them to a more quiet table, slightly hidden in the alcove.

“What are you hiding?” Was the first question that left her mouth the moment their butterbeers were placed on the table.

“What?” His eyes bugged behind his risen glass, confused and unsure as he looked at her for a second too long. “I’m not hiding anything.” He was a shit liar it seemed, barely able to hold her gaze for a single second before he was looking away.

“Zach, I know you – you’ve been strange all day.”

“It just feels weird to be back here.” Any other day and she might have understood but not today – no something else was happening.

“Understandable though not the whole truth.”

“Hermione…”

“Were you meeting a girl here or something?” She asked suddenly as he looked around, her cheeks flushing. “Is she going to turn up here because as good as it is that we are friends and moving on, I do have to say that is a bit weird.” She added, turning her own head to look for the mystery girl.

Zach laughed, shaking his head. “There’s no girl.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Then what was it that had him so on edge? She stared at him longer as he took a sip of his drink, frowning at something in the corner – her own eyes following his gaze where he seemed to be looking at...Moody.

The angry man was grumbling at someone, poking his finger into their chest before waving them away as he downed the rest of his drink, his eyes moving to stop on Zach, lips sneering as he limped out of the door.

Like someone had lit Lumos around her, everything seemed to fall into place. The nervousness, the need to meet Moody – even the slight nods at the Aurors’ and other people on the street – the way he seemed watchful and had kept her by his side all day, strolling up and down Hogsmeade without once asking to enter a shop.

She had thought he had simply just missed being there but even trying to get him to sit down and have a drink had been hard work – one he finally relented to after checking his watch for the hundredth time.

“Have you...did you join Dumbledore’s order?” Left her mouth before she could stop herself as Zach turned back to face her with wide eyes.

“What...Hermione….you can’t just mention that, not in public and…” His words were stuttered and his cheeks bright red as he quickly looked around to make sure no one had heard – confirming without actually saying anything.

“Relax, I’m not going to tell anyone – I just didn’t think that was you.” Nor could she help but not want him involved – not someone as kind and warm as him fighting a war that could end badly.

“I think it’s all of us these day, we have to make choices and I can’t live in a world where I sit and do nothing.” Damn him and his kind heart, not the slightest inch of selfishness and preservation in his body to make him to just up and leave like he should.

“It’s brave of you but promise me you won’t do anything stupid – I mean coming on watch of Hogsmeade and I’m guessing me, is one thing but going out there and fighting is another.” Hermione spoke softly, dragging her finger against the condensation of her glass, the beads of water trickling down into a puddle.

“I can’t promise that.”

“I know – I had to ask though.”

“I really missed you – and it’s going to suck when I have to go back to writing letters – which is going to be soon before Moody storms in here and demands I get back to where I should be.” Zach whispered as he changed the subject before she can fight him on it any longer, her mouth opening and closing.

“Yeah it is.” She settled on, a wry smile curling on her lips. “I have to go soon anyway – I have some things to pick up for the party.”

“What happened to the ball?” She couldn’t help the soft smile as he looked so upset at the idea that she might not be attending the Hogwarts Halloween Ball that had only happened a couple of times since they both started school.

“Cancelled for the year, though Slughorn is having his Slugclub party – but no this isn’t for Halloween.” She explained as he leaned forward, interested...and no doubt missing the epic parties in the Common Room.

“What? Then who for?”

“We’re celebrating Sirius’ birthday, since his is on a Wednesday and we can’t next weekend, today seemed like a perfect day.” And just like that his grin disappeared, replaced with something else, his eyes looking down at the table and his smile gone.

“Why not next weekend?” He asked, his voice dry and uninterested.

“Just reasons.” Hermione explained meekly and with a frown. She wasn’t about to explain that Sirius hadn’t even asked for the party nor that next week Remus was going to be running around as a furry beast with a dangerous bite.

Especially not when he was sulking into the bottom of his glass over whatever his problem was. Though someone seemed to whisper in her head that she had been through this before and she knew exactly what his problem was and how to solve.

“So are you and Sirius...are you guys…”

“What?” Hermione snapped, her patience wearing thin as he rolled his shoulders back, and gave her a narrowed eyed look.

“Because I just can’t imagine that he would be fine with you walking around with your ex all day if you guys are together.” Zach claimed as Hermione coughed over her drink, his eyebrow raised as she slammed the glass onto the table.

“We aren’t together – we are just friends.” Hermione whispered, still coughing slightly and shifting in her seat. It almost felt like a lie as she met Zach’s eyes – a small part of her brain whispered that it was a lie.

“No you’re not.” Hermione blinked, affronted and slightly offended, yet Zach continued speaking. “I saw the way you looked at each other, and I bet something else has been going on too, you’re not just friends – and that’s ok.” He reached out to touch her hand, patting it and giving her a gentle, if not slightly condescending smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Hermione snapped through narrowed eyes, pulling her hand away and straightening her back.

“Lying to yourself isn’t going to help anything.”

...

Hermione didn’t care if she had pissed off Zach by leaving with a dismissive goodbye after he had walked her half way back to the castle – she didn’t care if he looked upset as he turned back around and mentioned something about seeing her at Christmas, because she was pissed off.

And it was the type of pissed off that lasted longer than normal, and made her glare at anyone that came within touching distance.

Who did Zach think he was, offering out patting hands and gentle words, like giving he was giving his permission for her to date or go after someone – like she even needed that in the first place, because she did not.

Hermione was strong and independent, and more than capable of getting what she wanted from someone without having to concern her ex.

An ex who she had met at a party just like the one she stood watching, a year ago – who had meant more to her than just some simple friends, and who had seen her for who she was and not her name or family history. Who had just tried to be a good friend and ended up with a pissed off Hermione instead.

A groan left her mouth as she pushed past a grinding couple, grabbing the bottle of firewhiskey from the guys hand, ignoring his cry as she carried on through the crowds, sipping from the bottle and reaching out to pat her brothers shoulder.

The couple of guys around him left with her glare, leaving the siblings alone to talk.

“Nice bottle.” James spoke dryly, as she finished her sip with a shrug of her shoulders and a grimace on her face. “Might taste better if you mix it with something.”

Hermione frowned, her lip turning up. “Pretty sure that’s sacrilege.” Her brother’s lip quirked upwards as she gave him a small smile, her head turning around to look at the teenagers that filled the Common Room. “Where’s Sirius?”

It seemed strange that the resident party animal of Hogwarts was no where to be found at the height of the party, that he wasn’t drinking, flirting or dancing on some table somewhere. It made the whole room feel slightly empty and far too normal.

James’ lips pulled into a tight line as he nodded his head towards the stairs. “He went upstairs awhile ago and hasn’t come back down – I should probably go check on him.”

“No, I’ll go.” Hermione sighed out, pushing the bottle into his chest as James frowned at her. She didn’t add anything more as she moved back through the crowd and towards the stairs and James didn’t follow her.

The noise of the party died down with every step she took up the stairs, until it was nothing more than mumbled voices and the occasional shout of music as her hand rested on the doorknob and a deep breath left her mouth.

She knew there was a chance he might not be alone. How many other times had he left a party halfway through with a girl, only to appear later with a grin, but she didn’t let that stop her as she pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Sirius laid on his bed, one arm tucked between his head and his pillow and other one holding a burning fag as he stared up at the ceiling of his bed. It was an attractive image, one she might tuck away for later, one she might change to make his eyes stop looking so sad.

“I thought James banned smoking in here?” Hermione spoke softly as she moved closer, crossing her arms over her chest as Sirius turned his head to look at her in surprise, the corner of his mouth turning up slightly before he took a drag.

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” His voice was slightly raspy as Hermione sat at the foot of his bed, watching him with concerned eyes as he flicked his ash onto the floor. James would most certainly know by that and the smell. “What are you doing up here?”

His silver eyes remained glued to hers, lazy and slightly hooded in a way that made her heart beat a second faster. “I thought I would come and see why the birthday boy was missing his own party.” She whispered the words as she tucked her feet under her knees, making sure to keep the bottom of her shoes away from the bed. “Are you ok?”

He seemed to think about it for a second, rolling the words around in his mouth before taking another drag and flicking the butt into the air, vanishing it with a quick wave of his fingers – an impressive feet of wandless magic that he made look so easy. “Just don’t want to be down there.”

Once she would have made a comment about it, brought up the past few years but instead she kept her mouth shut and her joking but judgemental comments to herself. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Sirius watched her for a second more, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip in a way that might have been attractive if she wasn’t more focused on what him hiding away. “Did you feel any different when you turned seventeen?” Hermione frowned in confusion.

“Not really, no.” She answered with a frown, thinking back to a month and half ago when her birthday had come and gone, only reminding her that she was legally an adult. “And I don’t think it’s something you have to worry about – I mean we still have a few days until your actual birth-”

“And then what happens afterwards?” He asked, cutting her off as Hermione frowned. “Legally I will be an adult, with no home, no money and a name that carries more bad weight than good – and a younger brother who joined the wrong side.” He sounded so sad and slightly lost that Hermione couldn’t help but lean forward and take his hand.

“Money and names mean nothing – they don’t show people who we are, our actions do, and as far as I’m concerned, you have a home for as long as you need it and friends who would never let you suffer alone.” Her words catch in her throat as she thought about how true it had been for her. “And as for Regulus...well I think he’s a lot more like you than you realise.”

“Maybe.” Was all he replied as he pulled his hand away and reached for his pack of fags and his lighter, lighting one up without even looking at her and pushing the swirling smoke from his mouth and towards the ceiling.

There was nothing she could say to ease the decisions of Regulus, other than what he already knew, what he already doubted to be true. Whether Regulus had gotten him out for his own gain and his own unwillingness to kill Sirius or whether because he wanted him safe and out of harms way. Sirius would have his own decision on the matter.

Her head itched as the wall in her brain tried to tell her something, and she wished it would, she wished it would tell her anything that could make this better – that could instil the trust she had in her heart for Regulus into words and knowledge for Sirius.

But she wouldn’t push Sirius nor would she scratch on the itch so instead she settled for sighing deeply and blushing as the silver eyes focused on her. “Do you want to go back downstairs?”

“Not sure I’m feeling up to a birthday party today.”

“If it helps I’m pretty sure most people just think we are celebrating Halloween and they have no idea it’s for you.” Hermione tried joking as his lip turned up slightly and her own smile turned slightly sad. “But if you want to stay up here then that’s alright too.” An idea sprung to her mind. “I can stay if you want or I can leave…”

Her voice trailed off as he looked at her again, silver eyes twinkling with something other than sadness for the first time since they started talking. “You can stay.” The words sounded as though it was her choice, but there was something else in his tone that had her hear thump a little louder.

Her cheeks turned even redder as she shifted, keeping one hand on her already slightly risen skirt to pull off her boots and let them clatter to the floor beside his bed before she moved to rest on her knees and push his leg.

“Move up.”

“I like where this is going.” He mumbled though his smirk was half arsed as she narrowed her eyes, even as he shuffled to the side a bit.

“Shut up.” The arm that had been tucked under his head moved to lay across his pillow as she turned around and laid beside him, pulling her curls from under her head and tucking herself into his side in the friendliest way she could.

He didn’t turn to look at her, though his hand by her head moved to play with her curls, tucking them between his fingers or wrapping them around his finger as she watched him softly, her hand reaching up to trace the very faint line his parents had left, lower than her own and much less noticeable, and so soft under her touch.

Silver eyes meet her own and suddenly it doesn’t feel all that friendly any more, Zach’s words ringing in her head, mixing with everything else that had happened between them a year ago – a fear creeping up her spine as his head dips lower.

For a second she forgets how to breath as his nose brushes with hers, her body anticipating the kiss that was surely going to come afterwards – only to be left slightly disappointed as his lips brushed the skin at the corner of her mouth and his head moved to rest on her own, his arms wrapping around her and tugging her closer.

It’s relief and disappointment mixed into one. Half of her brain seeming to crave him, to want to give in to the urges and impulses and the other half warning her not to go down this road – not to hope or feel anything more than what she does unless she wanted to be disappointed like she was a year before.

Instead she settled in the middle, pushing both the bickering voices away and choosing instead to relax into the familiar hug and think nothing more of it than a friend needing comfort.

…

James and Remus stumbled into the room a few hours later, slightly drunk and trying not to make too much noise as they moved towards their beds, the slight snores of Pads filling the otherwise quiet night.

“Oh shit...Prongs...look Pads has a girl in his bed.” Remus whispered and somehow yelled at him as he pointed to the black boots at the side of the bed and then the small sock covered feet tangled with Sirius’. Normally he would have laughed and giggled like a twelve year old with his best friend but instead he stares in shock.

He knows those boots, had been there when they were bought, and he’s seen those sock covered feet for most of his life, teased her at how small they seemed next to his own.

An annoyed growl left his mouth as he moved closer, preparing to tell the pair of them off, only to stop at the foot of the bed. He had heard about them sharing a bed, but he had never seen it – never seen how they wrapped around each other, seemingly clinging on like it was the only thing they could hold.

And though it was mildly disgusting to look at his best friend and sister sound asleep together, there was also something rather cute about it. Something that made him step back and pull the curtains closed.

They deserved some privacy, and he would speak about it with them in the morning and find out why Sirius and then Hermione had disappeared half way through the night but for now he would let them sleep.