The Biggest Sacrifice

WARNING; THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS AND ACTIONS OF ABUSE, NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, THOUGH OTHER THINGS AND THE CONSEQUENCES ARE MENTIONED. IF THIS IS NOT THE CHAPTER FOR YOU THEN PLEASE SKIP TO THE LAST PART OF THIS CHAPTER. THIS WILL BE DEALING WITH SIRIUS' PART FROM THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER AND I WOULD LIKE PEOPLE TO BE INFORMED.

Friday the 18^th of June 1976

He hated this house, hated how it loomed over him as he stood outside, the Muggles passing by without a second glance or the knowledge of Walburga and Orion’s hated filled gazes.

It really was a Grim Old Place indeed.

And he was back by his own choice, or really his mother’s hand and threats of what would happen if he refused to come home for the summer. But he was here, being pushed into the dusty place and up the stairs – his father’s hand a tight weight on his shoulder and his mother’s heels echoing in his head like an alarm.

Regulus walked by his side, head bowed low but every now and then he would catch Sirius’ gaze and shake his head – disappointment settling into every line on his face. Why couldn’t he just see that Sirius was doing this in part for him? Giving up his freedom and buying his brother time? Making sure his brother wasn’t marked as best as he could?

Not that he was sure how that was going to work out when he refused to be marked himself, but he had a plan. A plan that would make sure him and Reg both walked away...except it wasn’t a plan more of just running away but it was still something.

Sirius blinked as he was pushed into the drawing room, a group of dark heads and cold eyes turning to look at with sinister smiles on all their faces and eager hands on their wands.

“Ah, a family reunion – mother you shouldn’t have.” Sirius grinned as he turned to face the woman, a hand on his heart. She glared back at him, pushing him further into the room as Orion leant against the door and Regulus frowned at the floor.

The Blacks, or well what was left of them, by blood and marriage stared back at him – varying levels of disgust and maybe some with a twinkle of amusement – though that could have just been his Uncle Alphard who seemed to want to be anywhere else.

“Good to see you home, cousin.” He hated that voice, it rang through and made his teeth clench as he turned to find the ironically named Bellatrix. Fucking bella, his arse.

“Wish I could say the same, Bella.” Bella hissed like a snake, her dark eyes, so much like Hermione’s, were crazed and her dark hair curled off in every way as her strong jaw tensed, but he moved on, turning to look at the woman with pale hair and blue eyes that stood out in the group. “Cissy, finally smelt all that bullshit Lucius keeps spewing?”

Her eyes widened as he mimicked her expression and grinned, her mouth forming into a tight line as she turned to look at Walburga.

“It seems there is still much to do, Auntie.”

“With me? Psh...I’m perfect.” Sirius spoke back with a grin, waving his hand and ignoring the warning glare that was coming from his father. “I mean, not to brag but I believe this year – fuck!” Sirius hissed, reaching up to rub the side of his head where his father’s hand had made contact, his family ring digging into the skin.

“Shut up, boy!”

“You could have just asked nicely.” Sirius mumbled, pulling away his hand and tensing his jaw.

“This is no times for games, Sirius, everyone in this room has directly been influenced by your sordid behaviour.” Orion continued, pushing Sirius onto the free space of the sofa beside his other Uncle, his least favourite – Cygnus the twat and his wife Druella, who did spend her days making you drool. “Now it is time to listen to us.”

“Question?” Sirius asked, raising his hand and frowning, speaking before any more could cut him. “This ‘sordid’ behaviour pertains to what exactly?”

“Gallivanting with blood traitors and mudbloods...ruining the reputation our family has worked so hard to uphold with your rakish ways…” Walburga hissed out, looking more like Bellatrix as she paced the length of the floor, pointing one finger at him.

It was a mistake often made that Orion was head of the house, or he would be once Grandpa Pollux died, the truth was Walburga, in the direct line of things, was more in charge than anyone else. Her father had married her off to her own cousin so that he wouldn’t loose the Black Manor when the time came but considering he was only thirteen years older than his daughter and looking better health as he drank his whisky, it didn’t seem that day was coming soon.

“Are you listening, boy?” His father roared as Sirius pulled his gaze away from Pollux, who really seemed disinterested.

“I’ll be honest...no.” Another slap, though this one stung more, still Sirius didn’t do anything but send a quick glare to his father.

“This year is an important year for us...it’s the year we might be able to uphold our family and we will not have you ruin it.” Walburga snapped, glaring at her son. Regulus rolled his eyes behind her and sent Sirius a quick look.

“Well that I can understand...see here’s my plan for making the family great again; you can all go fuck yourselves.” He whispered, watching with a smirk as everyone turned to look at him in slight shock and dodging his father’s next slap with a laugh.

“You will do what is expected of you!” His father roared, eyes glinting dangerously. “You will join the cause, marry and continue with our legacy or you will banished.” His teeth bared like a rabid dog and a jolt of fear ran through Sirius.

“I take banished for 30 galleons please.” He wished the fear would work through his mouth instead.

His mother shrieked like a banshee, reaching forward to pull him off the sofa with strength he didn’t even know she had to throw him to the floor, wand in her hand and pointed straight at his face as he glared back, his whole family circling round his like a pack of hyenas ready for dinner.

“You insolent little boy...this is not a joke and we are not asking, you will do what is expected as your cousins have and as we did.” She leaned over, her high collar floor length black dress and robes swishing around her and her wand pointed at his throat. “Is that understood?” His mouth remained shut as he glared up at her.

Her hand came down before he could see it, the slap echoing around the room, before he could even flinch she had taken a hold of his hair.

“Is that understood?”

“Fuck you.” He hissed, tasting the blood that must have come from a split lip, he grinned once more at her as her rage tipped over the edge and her wand pointed at him once again, a scream and a spell leaving her mouth that had him groaning in pain and accepting the oncoming darkness.

…

He wasn’t sure how many days it had been, maybe a week since he was locked in here and maybe two since he had once again tried opening the window only to find it locked like his bedroom door.

His error hit his faster than his father’s slaps in the face. He had made a mistake coming back here, and now he was wandless, starving and trapped in the one place he used to love – the Gryffindor memorabilia and pictures of his friends only adding to the anger inside.

A sigh left his mouth as the door unlocked and Walburga stood in the entrance, cold and angry. For a second, Sirius though about rushing past her, pushing her out of the way and running down the stairs as fast as he could – making his way back outside and hoping to Merlin that he could change and run as a dog to the Potter’s, but it was like Walburga knew.

She grinned evilly at him, placing down enough food to keep him alive and looking over his wounds with a laugh. Cruel and horrible to the bone, and he fucking hated her.

Too weak to escape. Too weak to do magic. She had him fucking trapped.

“Mother.”

“Ready to see the error of your ways?”

“I mean this in the nicest of ways but...that is never going to happen, you cunt.”

Her jaw clenched and her wand was out in a second, a slashing hex sent to his chest and the familiar feeling of dizziness making him chuckle. Like a small relief from the mental pain – almost enjoyable in the sickest of ways.

“You will comply.” He chuckled again and didn’t wince when her hand reached out to hit his face, just laughed louder as blood filled his mouth and he turned to face her.

It was sick and he was taunting her, waiting for worse as he gripped his chest, the wound not as deep as what he kind of hoped it would be. He grinned one last time, filling up his mouth with saliva and spitting in her face as she moved backwards, with a look of shock.

A stinging hex this time and then she was gone, the door slamming and locking with a bang as he fell to his side with another laugh, bed folding under his weight, his sobs catching up and his hands gripped for something, anything to hold onto as the sadness and blackness of his mind took hold.

…

The sound of footsteps awoke him from his sleep, keeping him on edge as he opened his eyes to the dark night flooding his room.

Today had been worse, a new burn mark and slashing hex taking place as he once again refused and all but passed out from the pain of his parents loving abuse. A new wave of fear crept up his spine as he stared towards the door with half blurred eyes and no energy left to move.

They usually left him alone at night – all comfortable in their separate bedrooms after dealing with the problem child. What a hated thing to be. So different from his own family. He hated how he found himself wishing he wasn’t – how he could just bow down and do what they wanted, but it was far past that now. If he could just make it through the summer then he could get himself a couple more months.

The footsteps stopped outside his bedroom, the handle jiggling and met with a sigh. “Sirius?”

If he could then he would speak back, ask his brother to help him or to escape – to find Hermione, James and the Potter’s – to take him in or just leave him to die. Just so Regulus could be safe, so everyone he knew and loved could be safe.

“I – I...I don’t know if you’re awake but if you are then please just hold on a couple of days more – I...I’ve got a plan – we’re going to get you out.” His eyes closed against the tears and his heart clenched as he realised he didn’t need to ask who would be coming.

A small whimper left his mouth followed by a barely there sob, nothing left in his body to offer...nothing but death.

“I’m right here and...just hold on.” Regulus whispered one last time, his footsteps fading to his own room and his door shutting softly. Sirius smiled and let sleep take him once again...it was good for Reg to hope, but it would be over soon.

…

“Sirius?” Fuck no. No. No she wasn’t supposed to be here.

This was some sick dream, a dying dream that his body was producing so he didn’t have to feel the true pain of death.

Yet her hands felt so real, warm and soft as they gently took his face – forcing his eyes open to take sight of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, kneeling beside him like some sort of angel – with her chocolate eyes, pale face and a mess of black curls.

He let a smirk form on his face, even as it pulled at his cut lip while somehow finding the energy to reach and tug on a curl, his dream seeming so real as she stared back at her in shock. “You come to save me, Kitten?”

He could die like this, with her face over his, full of concern and warmth for a boy that had done her nothing but cause pain. It was selfish but he could let that image be the last thing he saw as he closed his eyes, the gentle lulling of another voice, one he knew but didn’t care to place even as his shoulders shook.

There was something, or someone, else at his side, the hands moving from his shoulders to pull him up, an arm gently going around his waist and his own around a shoulder – a groan that he couldn’t stop leaving his mouth and nausea following.

There was someone else moving to his other side, more gently but he knew who it was, he wished he could stand up better, keep his weight off her and move onto...a familiar smell, a familiar arm. James was here too.

This better be a dream because otherwise he was going to kill them both if they got out of here, and then ask how the hell they had even gotten in or how they were dragging him down the stairs.

He tried to keep up but his whole body felt like it was on fire, and his head was going to the side, laying on top of Hermione’s, a smile on his face as the scent of her shampoo worked to push away the pain and her warm hands pulled on his arm.

Another voice spoke, huskier and deeper than the others, followed by Regulus. “Uncle.”

A grin overtook his face as he opened his eyes to see a concern Alphard before them, blurry but his uncle nonetheless, looking less put together than when he had last seen him. No doubt trying to drown the problems that came with having a family like their own.

How many nights had Sirius wished for alcohol to drown his own sorrows?

“Afternoon, Uncle.” His voice didn’t sound like his own and Hermione was pushing him further into James who gripped him tighter, less mindful about his injuries unlike his sister.

His eyes closed again as Alphard said something, but Sirius didn’t care to make it out because James was reacting, so it was something bad. James always knew when it was something bad, but Alphard meant no harm – not like the rest of them.

He tried to tell them that, waving his hand over James’ shoulder but none of them were listening to him, no they just carried on speaking. Harsh tones and cold words that washed over him like rainfall and made his doubt his dream.

His friends were here to save him. Why was his uncle ruining it?

“...in fact he was stunned the moment Hermione Potter entered the house for Sirius.” Hermione’s voice ran through him like a calming drought, his head turning against her own to face those beautiful chocolate eyes, filled with concern and anger, only calming when he looked at her.

“All for me?”

The wicked part of his brain cackled, reminding him that she had probably come because of James, or Regulus, but there was a smaller part. One that hoped despite everything that ached and pleaded with the thought of her wanting him to come home – that she would risk her life to save him.

It was stupid and selfish and he would be having words when he figured out if she was really here or not.

“Are you threat-”

Oh shit. He didn’t hear what Hermione had said but he could agree with his uncle, yes she probably was.

“Something tells me you’ll agree and that you want Sirius as safe as possible, and you know that isn’t here.” It was wrong to find that attractive but he couldn’t help the pleased little smile that made it’s way to his face as they continued speaking around him.

“Well then, I suggest we better get on with this – you lead the way Hermione, I’ll take the boy from here.” He could have whimpered the moment Hermione moved away and his Uncle was there, grunting as he helped James carry his weight. Like he was large and heavy when he was as light and beautiful as they came.

“Stay up here.”

“What – I need to -”

Reggie needed to listen. Hermione was right, she was always right, and there was only so much she could do. Regulus would be safe, she wouldn’t let him be involved.

So why were they not moving? They were whispering to each other and James was moving away, soft footsteps and angry words with his sister and then Alphard was moving, Sirius straining to catch his words and support himself against the stairs.

“...I will distract Walburga – hopefully that will give you enough time to get him out.” Oh fuck. This was not good but his mouth wasn’t opening to tell them all to get the fuck out. To leave him here and face the bitch’s wrath another day.

“I know you’re weak -” Rude. He was strong, he was Sirius Fucking Black – and he was all but melting as she whispered into his ear and moving him to her shoulder. “- but I’m going to need your help getting down these stairs and then it’s over.” He looked at her one last time, taking in every detail.

“Alphard – what are you doing here? I didn’t expect anyone until this evening.” He flinched at the sound of her voice – his evil mothers.

He wanted peace, his eyes looking at Hermione as she frowned at him, every emotion on her face like an open book that only he could read, pushing him past the tired pain so he could manage a weak grin and let his finger drift over her blushing cheek.

“Home.”

“Yeah home.” She didn’t understand but he couldn’t blame her – couldn’t make her understand when they were at such a critical moment. Her head turned to face Regulus and he couldn’t help but follow as he was all but dragged down the stairs.

His little brother stood watching him with a frown and a proud smile, the two seeming to go hand in hand and making his heart ache.

He let out a groan as they passed the drawing room and his mothers voice rang through the air, his body weakening with every step. Hermione whimpered as she moved, all but pulling him along.

He tried to help but his brain was turning foggy and his dream was coming to an end in the shape of a bright white light where his front door should be. It wasn’t his fault that their feet seemed to mix up, nor that he could suddenly fly.

He let out a groan that cut out his mothers voice as his teeth set on edge and his whole body tingled like his nerves were on fire.

“Come on Sirius.” Hermione was there again.

“Just leave me.” He mumbled, whether she heard or not, she didn’t care as she pulled on him. He followed with her, finding enough strength and letting out a groan that echoed throughout the house as he leaned on her.

“Alphard!” The door upstairs opened with a bang at the same time there was a crack outside, followed by a lovely breeze that felt as if it could cleanse his skin.

His eyes opened wider as his mother appeared behind them, eyes flicking between them both and her wand pointed. He wanted to tell Hermione to run, to leave and never come back but she clung on tighter as though she could sense what he might say.

“Hello mother – it seems I am being rescued, don’t expect me back.” Sirius mumbled with a grin, his split lip ripping slightly and fresh blood coming to the surface as he dipped his head. Fresh amusement filling him at her crazy eyes.

“Why you ungrateful little -” Splinters littered the air from her wand and Sirius chuckled, the room turning like one of those roundabouts at Muggle parks. “You will pay for this, blood traitor.”

“I look forward to it.” He would have laughed if he wasn’t being pushed out of the door and down the stairs, his feet barely keeping up as he landed into James’ arms, ones that pulled him up and moved him to grip Poppy as his mother screamed behind them.

Poppy cracked them through the air. His stomach turning and every piece of his body screaming with protest, even as they landed on the floor, something soft enough to break his fall and ease the pain.

He could barely breath as he laughed, and the room began to spin. He cheered even as someone spoke to him and he laid back on the floor, the darkness descending on him once again.

…

Panting breaths and a darkened room was what he awoke to later. Panic filling his lungs and the memories, his mother's wicked gaze and his father's back hand and Bellatrix’s...no he didn’t want to go down that road. Didn’t want to be trapped back in his bedroom.

Groaning he moved, head spinning around to try and take in where he was – smaller then his room at Grimmauld Place, but more comforting and familiar.

His bed was softer, and the familiar mess of black hair that slept beside him, as well as the scarred face at the foot of his bed made the panic ease slightly.

“I have them too, you know.” His head turned, faster than it should have and an echo of pain running through his veins as he stared wide eyed as the messy curls and hooded dark eyed, pale skin standing out like a beacon but the voice softer. “Nightmare.”

She shifted slightly, allowing him to see the difference, softer features and a warmer voice, kind chocolate eyes and the smile of a Potter. It wasn’t Bellatrix. No, she wouldn’t wait for him to wake while his best friends shared his bed like they were at a slumber party.

He let out a breath, shaky and unsure, as his heart ached in his chest and his hands longed to bring the girl into his arms and thank her – and then tell her off for even thinking of doing something so stupid.

“Though I imagine they’re a bit different.”

Sirius frowned, wondering what she was even talking about, trying to make his tired brain move back to what she was saying a few seconds ago. He scoffed and tried his best to hide his grimace. “Yeah. No shit.”

Hermione untucked her legs from where she sat on the chair, eyeing him warily. “There’s some potions on the side. You’re supposed to take them.” Her hand lifted weakly, pointing to the bedside table where a tray waited.

They tasted vile but he took them, staring out at the rising sun as he did so. It had been just past midday when they got him, if he remembered rightly – the sun had been strong on his pale skin the moment he was pushed outside his house.

His eyes moved to Hermione as she played with the sleeves of her jumper, a jumper that looked awfully familiar and he was pretty sure wasn’t hers. She looked exhausted, eyes red and puffy, heavy and her whole body slumped – except her right leg which she seemed to rested gingerly on top of a stack of his books.

“How long have you been here?”

Her jaw tensed and her eyes met his, the slowly lightening sky casting a purple light over her eyes, with a slow blink. “Why did you go with them?”

“Are we just ignoring my questions now?” His voice slightly snappish and his body ached as he laid back onto the bed, staring at her as he rested on his side, fighting the tiredness to watch her instead as she refused to answer. “Because I had to.”

White teeth came out to bit the bottom of her lip, making it redder than before and slightly tempting, though his body seemed to disagree with a small tremor that had her frowning.

“No, you didn’t.” Hermione whispered, his mouth opening to fight, to explain what she didn’t understand even if he knew deep down she did, more than anyone, but she got there first. “And you’ll never have to again.” Her voice was as hard as a diamond, but her eyes twinkled with tears.

It was a promise she was making, a threat of what would happen if he even tried it again – and for once he couldn’t fight her on it. For once he couldn’t stop the smile that made it’s way to his face.

“Come here, Kitten.” His arm lifted gingerly as she watched him with wide eyes.

“Sirius, you’re injured -”

“Which is exactly why I think I’m entitled to a cuddle right now.” He grinned despite the fact that it was true, his eyes stung with tears and his hand ached to hold something – to make sure this was real. That his friends cared so much that they would risk their lives to save him. That they would sleep by his side just to be there.

Hermione let out a sigh, a wince taking over her face as she limped over to him, stopping only for a second as Sirius pulled back the duvet, her eyes moving over his shirtless chest in flickering emotions. But she didn’t stop – pulling herself into his already crowded bed and laying by his side.

“What happened to your leg?” He whispered as she moved to lay on her side, half hanging off of the bed to give him some space.

“I fell down the stairs and something heavy landed on it.” There was a teasing glint in her eyes as Sirius frowned, opening his mouth to speak when she shook her head and moved a tiny inch closer. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

His arm reached forward, moving under her head despite the protest and pulling her closer into his chest, resting his head on top of hers as she wrapped own arm gently around his waist.

“Hermione -”

“I’m so glad you’re home.” The words were muffled, followed by a small sob that pulled at his heart strings and had his over arm resting over her own waist in some weird kind of half naked hug that offered more comfort than it should have.

“Because of you.” He whispered through his own tears, kissing the top of her head and pulling her even closer as she sobbed quietly. “You have no idea how grateful I am...thank you.”

She didn’t pull away and neither did he. The pair of them sobbing and clinging to each other without a care about James or Remus waking up – it didn’t matter right now. Months of anger and old feelings buried in the name of being there for one another.

It didn’t matter that they fell asleep like that, or that Euphemia and Lily came in the morning, waking up the other two and leaving them to sleep wrapped in each other's embrace. Nor that when they finally woke up, puffy faced and awkwardly smiling – that it felt like a bond had been built to replace the old crumbling one. That things were finally going back to how it should have been.