McKinnon
Family doesn't end in blood - Supernatural (and possibly someone else but I'm unsure)
Friday the 16th of April 1976
Once upon a time, or actually at very recent time or maybe all the time, the United Kingdom was known for it’s beautiful disgusting class system. Five different tear system that placed everyone inside a little box and let people know whether they were disgustingly poor or richer than rich.
Marlene was lucky enough to say that she had been born into a Pureblood family that had little to no ties with the more purer families.
Though she was not proud to say that her family were crazy, and spent most of their time trying to become some up and coming family that stuck to old traditions that outdated the ideas and ideologies the next generation seemed to want to move in.
Hence the recent letter she had received from her dear cold mother;
Dear Marlene,
As you are aware, your O.W.Ls are coming up – an important moment in any witches future that will determine her own success as well as the success of her house. We are aware of your recent exploits and are disappointed to hear that you have not been fulfilling any of our recent demands that you act more like a Lady and less like a tramp.
The name McKinnon carries a weight, and it is high time that you start doing your duty, as your brothers have. Matthew will be marrying this summer to a lovely girl from a good family, and we have decided that this will be the perfect opportunity for you to enter society and show everyone that the rumours are nothing more than nasty gossip.
You are almost of age and is it time to start putting the house in order before prospects start calling on your father and I.
We expect no more problems from you, and we expect great results for your O.W.Ls. If you do not comply then there will be consequences.
We will speak more this summer.
Mother.
Fucking stupid the lot of them. She wasn’t going to marry some tooty fruity idiot who would only want to use her for future heirs and then fuck off to his mistress. She wasn’t going to be some brain dead Pureblood wife.
The parchment screwed up in her hand before it was thrown, a distant sound of it hitting something having her look up from her place in the Common Room, as a sigh left her mouth.
Hermione Potter, purer than most fucking Purebloods and with parents who wouldn’t force her to eat a pea if she said she didn’t like it, stood before her, parchment clutched in her hand and a single eyebrow raised as Marlene tried to show a smile.
“Nice catch, you should try out for the team.”
“I’d rather dangle from the Astronomy Tower.”
“That seems more dangerous than flying around on a broom.” Marlene pointed out as Hermione snorted out a small laugh, pink cheeked and frizzy haired. No doubt having come down from Zach’s room. How nice it was for her friend to be able to have a choice in that matter and not have to keep it a secret.
Marlene scoffed as Hermione’s smile died and she frowned in concern, reaching forward to stare at Marlene with those bright knowing eyes. “What’s wrong?”
For a second she wondered if she could tell Hermione, if her friend would offer comfort or run to try and fix the problem that Marlene wasn’t sure could be fixed. “It’s just family things.” She settled on as Hermione frowned. “They want me home for the summer and I’m not sure I want to go.”
“Oh well – I’m sure my parents will -”
“But I have to go, Matthew is getting married.” Hermione raised her eyebrows and smiled, slightly crooked and one thing that seemed to make her less perfect and yet added it all the same.
“That’s nice, isn’t it?” Hermione asked, like it was normal to be excited about the prospect of your brother getting married, maybe it was to someone who would only ever because they wanted to. “Why are you not happy?” Her best friends face fell and worry took back over.
“I am – completely ecstatic – because how could my brother marrying some woman we don’t know be anything other than a joyous occasion for Purebloods everywhere!” Marlene shouted, a fake grin on her face as she threw her hands in the air and let out a cold chuckle.
Hermione looked around, before frowning at the parchment she was still holding. For a second, Marlene thought Hermione might open it, read the words for herself and understand more, but she also didn’t want her to. She didn’t want to see the pity in Hermione’s eyes, and the girl didn’t seem to want to give it either.
Instead she placed the ball of parchment onto the table and turned to face Marlene, straight backed and hands on lap like all little Pureblood girls were taught. “I won’t read that because I know you value privacy, but let’s not pretend to each other that nothing is wrong here.”
“My parents are expecting a lot – good O.W.Ls, no whoring around – you know the usual.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Marlene, but normally you don’t care about that.” Hermione began and Marlene felt her back raise and her eyes narrow. “I mean last time you purposefully cut your hair and told them to go fuck themselves.” She did, and it had had a lot more backlash than her friends had known about.
“Well excuse me if I’ve had a change of heart and don’t want to be seen as the family disappointment any more.” Marlene mumbled, reaching forward for the letter and throwing it into the fire.
“You’re not a disappointment.” She wants so much to believe it, to pretend she hasn’t seen the rolling eyes and pursed lips, that she didn’t screw things up with James. That she didn’t screw things up in her life when she realised she was – no she wasn’t going down that road.
“Not to my friends – how can Marlene be anything but the funny little whore who spends her life joking around.”
“Don’t talk about yourself like that, you are so much more.”
“Not to them – do you know how much my parents would kill for the perfect little pureblood daughter like you.” Hermione frowns and her mouth opens but Marlene can feel her anger spreading through every inch of her life. “You don’t even realise how lucky you are to have parents who would rather be outcasts than force you into ma – into trying to be something else.” She nearly ruined it.
Sometimes, late at night, she wished her parents were the Potter’s. That she could run away and they would wrap her in one of their tight hugs, send her to the room that had become her own and that everything would ok.
“My parents – Marlene, are your parents trying to force you into something?” Hermione’s eyes flashed and she stood up, looking towards the slowly burning letter like she wanted nothing more than to stick her hand in and see what she could find.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does – just tell me what’’s going on and I can try -”
“Stop trying to fix things!” The last cord of sanity snaps in her head, every resentment and piece of anger flooding through the gates and leaving in a hiss. For a second she watches as Hermione’s face turns even more pale and she flinches away.
Good. It’s not the first time she’s heard this then.
“I’m not-”
“You’ve been doing it since we were kids and not everything can be solved – not everything can be fixed and not everyone can have your perfect little life.” Too many words are leaving her mouth right now, unable to be held back and she’s looking at Hermione like she’s some kind of cruel enemy in need of taking down.
“My life is not perfect.” Marlene knows that, or a part of her does, but it’s clouded and tainted and she wants nothing more than to ignore it.
“Are you fucking joking?” She asks instead, a scoff leaving her mouth as Hermione blinks and looks around. “You live in a manor with parents who would bend over backwards to do anything for you – you have the privilege of being a Pureblood without having the consequences.” Neither of them have no idea how they got here, why a simple conversation turned into a fight but Marlene doesn’t care to try and find out.
“Circumstances that came after my own fucking family fell apart – brutally might I add.”
“And you’ve been fully repaid with your fancy life.”
“That’s incredibly rude.” Hermione whispers and Marlene wants to agree. But she needs this, pushing out the burning anger is making her brain feel a little lighter and her gut unclench.
“Is it?” It is. “You have no idea what it means to be a Pureblood other than your name and your money, your parents won’t force you to meet potential husbands, won’t insist that you spend the better part of your years baring children for a man who doesn’t love you – you won’t have to be sold like some prize fucking donkey at your own brothers wedding.” Shit. She hadn’t meant to say that part and now Hermione is staring at her with wide eyes.
“Then tell them no-”
“You don’t get it, and you never have – I don’t just get to say no and that’s it, my parents won’t accept it like yours – I’ll either be kicked out or forced to sign some contract that puts me with someone for the rest of my life.” The anger dies a bit as Hermione tenses her jaw, her own anger gone and instead filled with answers.
“Then let me help you – my parents will take you in and -”
“I don’t want your help!” Marlene shouts, and for once it’s the truth. “You can fool everyone else into thinking that you can keep them safe, and pretend like the moment they step into your house their future isn’t ruined and their family’s name hasn’t just been dragged into the mud – but you can’t fool me.” You can’t help me.
That’s what she really wants to say. There is no way around this and she knew in the end this would be what would happen one way or another, she was just stupid to think her parents would forget and let her live her life.
A single tear drops from her eye and Hermione is reaching forward, the kids she hadn’t realised were still in the Common Room are staring between the two, whispering and no doubt looking forward to telling their friends about what they witnessed.
She doesn’t wait to see what Hermione has to say, doesn’t even bother to pick up her mess as she storms out of the Common Room and through the portrait hole.
...
Marlene wasn’t the perfect friend, in fact sometimes she could be downright shitty, especially when it came to advice, but she had crossed a line today. A line that was no doubt going to end up with everyone wanting to strangle her for daring to hurt their precious little Hermione.
Who had done nothing but try and be a friend, even if it wasn’t what Marlene had needed.
Not that she was sure what she needed.
Which is why she was here. Risking yet another letter sent home to her parents as she stood in the middle of the Quidditch pitch, broom clasped in her hand and the damp grass below her feet, the night sky above her head and the chill slapping her across the face in the best possible way.
A calmness that only came as she climbed onto her broom and took off. Her hand reached up as though she could graze the sky, a small laugh leaving her mouth as the broom began to jitter below her – it was something she had done as a child with Matthew, sat on the back of his broom as he told her to touch the sky while pulling up and down on the broom.
Her stomach swooped and her heart clenched as she dipped again before levelling, the smile dropping from her face.
Matthew had been the one brother who she had thought understood her, who had wanted to travel and not bow down to their parents rules. He wanted to go to America, fall in love and marry for choice – he had told Marlene to do the same too. Had rubbed her head when she gave him a big grin, and told her to live her life how she wanted.
But that was hard to do when you were a child, let alone a sixteen year old girl who was about to watch her brother bend to those rules.
No she didn’t want to think about that.
The wind whipped around her face leaving it's cold behind to sting at her cheeks and nose. She gripped the broom tightly, letting herself drop before pulling herself back up. She continued to do this for a while before stopping high up in the air with a grin on her face.
The sky looked so beautiful, the fading moon hung in the sky and reminding her of Remus, who lay in the hospital room still recovering after two days. The first full moon that Sirius had been banned from in fear that perhaps there was still some tension between the boys. Mainly James and Sirius.
The school stood in the background, tall and imposing, a few lights on in what she assumed where teachers walking around or students in their dorms.
Swooping down she hovered, a few feet above the stands as she watched a hooded figure, tall and slender move away from the pitch, a flash of dark hair and something familiar. She wanted to shout out, see if they would turn but something stopped her, her breath catching in her throat as a slender hand waved over their shoulder.
...
Sunday the 18th of April 1976
The problem with being in a limited group of friends was that when things got awkwardly, they got awkwardly quickly.
And while she was sure she could go join some other people she knew, it felt strange to not sit with the five other people she had been sitting with since she started school. Even if half of them were currently on the outs with each other, Lily with Sirius and James, James and Sirius, Hermione with Sirius and...herself. Yet none of them seemed to choose to move away or even eat at different times.
Like trying to force something that everyone knew was gone...a strange facade of a marriage. They would eat and pretend and then head their separate ways without a second glance.
It fucking sucked and now she was wishing she had found some more friends instead of sticking to the ones who had more problems than the whole fucking world combined.
“Have you come to apologise?” James asked the moment she sat herself between Remus and some soft looking first year that was staring at the group with scared eyes.
“James.”
“No, no one speaks to my sister like that – I don’t care what’s going on in your life – that wasn’t right.” James hissed turning to Hermione who had pursed her lips and was shaking her head, a whole plate of food before her that she wasn’t even touching.
Marlene couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of her or if something else was going on.
“I agree, but maybe now is not the time.” Hermione whispered back, nodding her head to where Emmeline and Jenny were leaning as close as they could without giving themselves away, a talent they didn’t seem to possess.
“You agree?” Marlene asked dryly, raising her eyebrow and cursing herself for not letting things go.
“You said some pretty hurtful things, Marlene.” Hermione answered back, as though talking to a child who didn’t understand what they had done.
“I was in a bit of an emotional place and you were sticking your nose where it didn’t belong.”
“I’m sorry I was concerned about you.” Hermione snapped back, looking more and more pissed off by the second. Bright eyes almost black, and hands clenched around the edge of the table as she glared at Marlene.
“Well I didn’t ask for your concern, not everything is about you.” Marlene snapped back, wincing herself as Hermione let out a scoff and shook her head. She could feel students staring, could feel the sharp glare of James.
“No, this is about you being fucking rude when I was trying to help you and be there for you.” Hermione hissed, and Marlene wanted to agree but she couldn’t quite find the words to say. “I didn’t deserve half of the shit you said to me.” But she deserved the other half, a voice, one full of pettiness and jealousy whispered in her ear.
“And I didn’t deserve to have you try and work your work into every problem I have.” Marlene snapped. “You can’t just let anything go – always having to intrude yourself in problems that have nothing to do with it, and I’m stick and tired, so just let me figure this out by myself.” Hermione’s eyes flashed with hurt and suddenly Marlene wanted to hug her, offer comfort.
But she wasn’t wrong. This much she knew. And while she knew Hermione meant it from a good place – there was a time and place for her help and her opinion. Now wasn’t the time.
“You can because I am done with trying to help someone who clearly doesn’t want my help.” Hermione stood up, pushing away her uneaten food and letting out a scoff. “Come and find me when you can be a better friend.” Marlene’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, turning her head away so she didn’t have to watch Hermione storm out with Lily behind her.
Instead she ended up meeting Sirius cold eyes, a single raised eyebrow and a knowing smirk on his face. “You don’t have to do what they want you to do.”
She knew then that he understood, probably better than anybody. The Potters, while lovely, would never force their darling children to do anything they didn’t want to do, Lily’s parents were far too Muggle and modern to want to arrange her some marriage and Remus – well she doubted whether he would ever be comfortable putting someone in that position.
But Sirius...Sirius had grown up in the ultimate Pureblood house, one that he did his best not to go back to unless it was necessary or for a week at a time. His family littered Slytherin and the Death Eaters, and their connections were well known.
“Be grateful your parents aren’t trying to set you up with a Carrow.” He added as he spooned some cereal into his mouth and gave her a pointed look as Remus and James looked at one another.
Guilt flooded her system, her eyes feeling strangely watery as she stumbled away from the table and out of the Great Hall.
It was quiet out here, but it did nothing to stop the rushing of emotions that hit her like a wave, even as she felt someone wrap tense arms around her and let her lay their head on her shoulder.
She knew who it was without even opening her eyes, not that they had ever hugged that much before, but they spent enough time around each other that she could recall the smell of parchment, ink and something slightly canine.
“You alright?”
“No – no I’m fucking not – “ Marlene snapped, wiping her tears from her face and pulling herself out of Remus’ arms as he stared down at her with pity. All any of them seemed to do was look at her with pity. “I just -”
“Freaking out again, Marlene?” Anger boiled under her skin and her hand twitched to her wand as she turned to look at Emmeline and Jenny, the pair stood there in their matching outfits, looking like absolute tits. Blue eyes flashed to Remus and a nasty grin took over Vance’s face. “Did Hermione’s rejection sting so bad you had to move on to him?”
Remus didn’t even duck, he once would have, instead he sent a concerned look to Marlene. Her jaw ticked and her wand no longer felt like it could do enough, she wanted to punch them. To knock them down a few pegs; literally.
She took a menacing step forward, threats on the tip of her tongue when an arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back – not an unfamiliar action from this certain boy but still annoying nonetheless.
“Aw look, Potter and Black have come to the rescue.” Jenny cackled, eyeing each boy with what she must have assumed were flirty eyes but came out more deranged.
“Fuck off, both of you, before I let her go.” James muttered, tilting his head, longer messy hairs ticking the side of Marlene’s head as he moved around her, hand sliding away from her and feet stepping before her, a clear sign that he wasn’t going to let her move.
The two girls stared for a second, seeming to think better of it as the waddled off, leaving Marlene alone with the group of boys.
“What are you doing here?”
“Stopping you from annihilating Vance – and also getting away from the awkwardness at the table.” Sirius explained as James rolled his eyes, grey eyes turning to look at Remus as he mumbled the next part. “You shouldn’t have left, Moony.” Remus raised his eyebrows and looked between the boys.
“Well James hadn’t tried to hit you for a good seven hours so excuse me if I thought it was improving.”
James glared darkly at the both of them before he turned back to Marlene, still narrowed eyes but not as angry. “Anyway, I don’t agree with what happened with my sister and you will need to apologise, but you’re my friend and you’re going through some shit so I’m going to help you.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“Sure, sure – then do you fancy coming to the Quidditch pitch with me and hitting Bludgers at Sirius?”
…
She wouldn’t say she felt better, less angry, and swinging the bat as hard as she could, feeling the push back of the equally angry ball, definitely eased some of the stress from her body so that a small smile could make it’s way to her face as Sirius shrieked and dived out of the way of the oncoming threat, and James and Remus laughed beside her.
“Why am – no, come on, Mar, that was way too hard!” Sirius shouted as he dodged a particularly angry hit, swinging upside down on his broom as he turned to look at James. “Why don’t you get up here and take my place? Or better you, how about I hit at the pair of you and you fucking dodge them like chasers are supposed to?”
“It’s important for people to be well rounded...and your a dick.” James hissed out, glaring at his best friend or former best friend that he was still forced to spend time with – Marlene hadn’t actually figured out what was happening there.
Guilt swirled in her stomach as she looked between them. She was supposed to be a friend, to both these boys and yet she had no clue what was happening or why James was so adamant on keeping the boy at a distance or why Sirius wasn’t doing more to try and maintain his friendship other than a few comments.
“Erm…”
“Mate, come on.” Her hand swung out as the bludger soared for her, bat hitting with a crack and sending it straight towards Sirius. “For fucks sake, Marlene!” He snapped, lowering his broom and glaring at her as she winced.
“Sorry – I wasn’t -” She stuttered over her words as he looked away, clicking his tongue and shaking his head.
“I get that I’ve made a huge fucking mistake but this a bit far.”
“I didn’t mean to – that time.”
“I wasn’t talking to you.” Sirius snapped, sending her a quick glare as he turned to look at James. “Prongs, you know I’m sorry, how many times do I have to say it?” His bottom lip came out in a pout. “Remus has forgiven me and -”
“I’m not Remus.” James spoke coldly as Remus rolled his eyes. Marlene shut her mouth, looking between the boys worried and wondering if this is how everyone felt when her and Hermione began arguing.
“I know that -”
“You didn’t just hurt him that night, you hurt me too and you hurt my sister – it’s going to take a lot more than some half-hearted apology and longing looks for me to forgive what a dick you’ve been these past few months.” It always came down to Hermione, for everyone it seemed, but mainly for James.
The pair of them far too loyal to each other to even consider that the other might be in the wrong. Hermione and James against the fucking world – how siblings should be, while her own were too busy getting married and licking their parents arses to even make sure the other was fine.
Five strangers with the title of sibling to bring them together and no knowledge of how to actually do the job.
“I’m trying to make up for everything!” Sirius snapped, gripping his broom tighter as he glared at James, who seemed unfazed – clearly a discussion they had had before.
“I’ll tell you what, when Hermione forgives you then I will too, but until then you can consider us mutual friends of Remus.” James spoke back, shrugging his shoulders and turning his head, like he somehow knew his sister would come down here with Lily and prove his point.
Sirius sent the boy a look, squaring his shoulders and riding towards the girls, almost falling off of his broom in an attempt to land casually before them. His whole body was tense as he looked between them and Marlene almost wanted to go over to hear what was being said.
Lily looked annoyed, there was no chance that she was going to forgive and forget and Hermione – while Hermione looked like she was unsure of what to make of what was happening, her deep eyes drifting over the boys shoulder to look quickly at Marlene, defences up in a second.
“You know she isn’t holding it against him, right?” Marlene asked James suddenly as the boy turned to look at her with a frown. “She’s just done being friends with someone who hurt her but that doesn’t mean she expects you to do the same – and I don’t think you should either.” His hazel eyes drifted and something shifted as he raised an eyebrow at her.
“No offence, Mar, but I think out of everyone here, you advice on this whole situation is the last I want to hear.” It hurt more than it should, to come from him after everything they had been through, but the truth stung like a slap to the face.
“Fair enough.” Marlene mumbled as James looked back to where Sirius was pacing away from the girls, moving to sit on the bench, back hunched and pale hands reaching out to brush his hair away from his face – the gesture slightly familiar in a different way. “Does Sirius come out here alone sometimes?”
Icy eyes turned to Remus as James pursed his lips – though Remus shrugged his shoulders and looked back to James. “Erm...not that I’m aware of, though I suppose – what’s happening?”
His voice carried through the air, drawing attention from their little group as Marlene skidded to a stop before Sirius, Hermione and Lily making their way slowly over.
“Have you been spying on me?”
“Er...no?”
“Reassuring.” Marlene quipped, letting out a scoff and rolling her eyes while a part of her brain wondered why it was so important that she do this now in front of everyone, instead of asking him in private – or why it was so important to catch the person who had been watching her when they had done nothing wrong in the first place.
“No I haven’t, care to explain why you think that.” Sirius shifted in his seat, leaning forward to rest his hand on his knees and oozing the confidence she wished she had.
“I’ve come down here for the past two nights and someone has been here and now that I’m thinking about it, I’m pretty sure it was you.” Marlene pointed out, but something was off. Sirius didn’t need to ask permission nor hide himself from her – but there was something so similar.
“Down here and watching you fly?”
“Yes!”
“No.” Sirius laughed out, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head. “No offence, Marlene, you’re a fair flyer but I have better things to do at night than watching you fly around a pitch.” He added with another scoff.
“Then how do you explain the person wandering around here with a cloak on?” Marlene asked, slightly desperate as she turned to face the other boys who shrugged their shoulders, seeming unconcerned with the whole thing.
“As an idiot wandering around with a cloak on.” Sirius remarked dryly. “Why did you think it was me?”
“Just something in the way – I don’t know.” Her breath came out in a pant as Sirius watched her concerned, his hand reaching out as she swayed slightly, hit by a sudden wave of tiredness and tightness in her chest.
“Are you ok?” Emerald eyes blinked before her, hands on her shoulders and a soft voice that could only be Lily as Sirius moved away from the bench and Marlene was suddenly sat down. “Marlene…”
“I think I’m just tired...I haven’t slept for a while.”
“Nor have you been dealing with your problems.” Hermione muttered under her breath, Marlene wanted to scoff – if anyone here wasn’t dealing with their mountains of issues then it was certainly the black haired beauty before her that seemed to think she didn’t need to.
“Maybe now isn’t the best time for this.” Lily whispered to Hermione who pursed her lips. “Do you want us to take you to the Hospital Wing – maybe Madam Pomfrey can give you a calming drought and -”
“No – no, I’ll be fine – just got a lot on my mind.” Marlene whispered back with a grateful smile for the girl before her – still kind despite everything that had happened or what she might have heard from Hermione, who looked like she was ready to speak. “Which I will deal with, since it’s my family and my life, thanks.” Brown eyes met hers, full of anger.
“I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“Because you are suddenly capable of holding your tongue and not involving yourself in the lives of your friends?” Marlene asked sarcastically, a fake grin on her face as she looked away. “I can’t wait to see whether Lily and Remus get a letter next, and you try and convince them to run away from their families.” Both teens wincing at being pulled into the argument.
“What are you talking about?” Hermione asked with a sigh, arms crossed on her chest and eyes staring at Marlene like she was a child who didn’t understand the world.
“That’s what you did with me – what you’ve done with Sirius.”
“Bit different – I’m pretty sure I was being summoned to join a murderous cult.” Marlene could understand that, personally she would hope her friend intervened if that’s what her own parents wanted, but no they just wanted her to be the perfect daughter.
“You know what Marlene, if you want to go back to your parents this summer and get some marriage arranged for you, pop out a couple of kids after school and spend the rest of your days regretting that your friends tried to help you and you pushed them away – then who am I to stop you.” Hermione bit out with a small laugh, throwing her hands into the air and turning on one foot.
She didn’t look back, Hermione had never been way inclined, but James did with a glare as he and Remus followed behind, Sirius staring at them longingly before he too got up and headed back to the castle, leaving Marlene and Lily alone to stare at the empty field.
“If you’re going to say something then say it.”
“I don’t understand what it must be like to have this pressure put on you – to have your parents decide your life, I imagine it’s shitty and scary.” Lily whispered as she shifted beside Marlene, her eyes turning to watch their friends move further and further away.
“Fucking sucks.” Marlene whispered back, eyes feeling strangely wet, and her whole mind feeling rather alone.
“But I understand what it’s like to feel like people don’t understand you – to feel like they can fix your problems while you feel like you have to do it alone.” There was something in Lily’s voice that made Marlene stare. “Sometimes we have to realise that while they might not fully get it, their hearts are in the right place and they mean well, and that if we let them in a little, that feeling of being scared lessens just a bit and you realise you aren’t as alone as you think you are.”
It’s strange, to consider someone such a good friend and wonder what they are talking about. She’s known Lily since she was nearly twelve, spent many nights sharing the same room, many days being in the same class and sitting together – and yet she would have never guessed that Lily even understood in the slightest of how it felt.
Briefly she wonders if this is about being a Muggleborn, how Lily spent her time around friends who lived their lives mainly in the magical world with little knowledge about the Muggle one. If there was conflict between the two lives that often put her redhaired friend on the edge.
Now didn’t seem like the right time to ask, but maybe one day she will pull up the courage to make sure her friend is alright. Instead she settles on excuses, letting them slip through her mouth before she can stop them.
“This is different...this is something I ignored for a long time and now it’s hear and...and -”
“You don’t know what to do, but fighting with your friends isn’t the right thing to do.” Lily clarifies for her, giving her a small smile as she swings her legs and lets out a soft sigh. “I made that mistake once and you told me not to – I wish I would have listened to you then.” With Snape when they were thirteen year olds and didn’t fully understand.
It had been a long time ago and things were different, she wants to tell her that but the words seem to escape her. Leaving them both sat in the cold and thinking about things silently.
...
Avoiding things seemed to come naturally to Marlene, as did pissing off the majority of people in her life.
It was a skill she wasn’t proud of, not like she had many to be proud of… unless you counted that thing she did with her tongue that had gotten around the school and had gotten her far more interested than she cared to admit she didn’t actually want.
Reality was, she should have gone to the Common Room or her dormitory, spoken to Hermione and the boys and hashed this out. Instead she had ignored dinner and gone to the Astronomy Tower, sitting on the edge and staring down at the ground with worried eyes.
The past three days had been horrible since that letter arrived, making her into some weird twisted version of herself that she wasn’t even sure how to handle any more, let alone her friends. Her family did that to her, made her scared and backed into a corner until she lashed out at everyone, pushed them away in her fear.
Her legs hit the side of the stone the same time the door opened, causing her to grip the bar tighter as she wobbled in her attempt to look at who it was.
“Ah shit...you’re not going to jump are you?” Snotty and arrogant, that’s how his voice sounded – and yet the way he drawled through words was similar to someone else she knew.
“What! No – Merlin – why would you -” Marlene cut herself off as she stood up, pushing away from the railing to stare at the person, hood covering their pale face but she knew anyway. “It’s you – you’re the one I saw at the pitch!” Elation flooded her voice as the person winced away.
He stumbled backwards slightly, bringing a hand up to cover his ear at her high pitched cry, raven waves falling forward to cover part of his face, sharp features jutting out regardless, and startling blue eyes that resembled sparkling sapphires even in the dimly lit tower.
“Merlin, how high can you -”
“Regulus?” It made sense now why she thought it might have been Sirius, it didn’t make sense why his little brother was acting like some sort of creep.
“I’m not following you.” Regulus spoke softly, pulling his hood down fully and smoothing down the hair his brother would have messed up further. Her frown deepened as he sent her a soft grin. “I know what it looks like but would you believe me if I said this was all just a coincidence?"
“I’d have believed you more if you weren’t walking around like Grim Reaper at three in the morning.” Marlene commented dryly as his floor length cloak swept on the floor while he moved slightly closer and the night’s light shone on his face. “I guess dramatics just run in the family.”
Regulus let out a small scoff, as Marlene let her eyes drift over his face. So much like his brother and yet so different, there was something innocent and yet hardened about him, a baby face with eyes that saw through everything. And he was tall, nowhere near as tall as Sirius, but still tall. With hair that seemed soft, and shorter than she was used to on boys now.
Her back straightened as his eyes flickered over her face, defensive and yet curious – for some reason her cheeks flushed as he gave her a quick once over and the corner of his mouth ticked up.
“I was impressed by your flying.” He said suddenly, brushing over her comment, and Marlene couldn’t help but frown before remembering that he was a seeker for Slytherin – and that he was talking to her like he hadn’t expected that.
“Wish I could say the same.”
“Ouch.” Regulus chuckled and for a moment Marlene forgot that this was probably the first time they had actually spoke – even though she had known who he was the moment Sirius pointed him out with a sneer back in second year. “And here I was thinking I could just come up here to think.” He sighed and smiled, like they hadn’t been somewhat enemies for four years.
Only because of Sirius...and maybe the prejudice between Slytherin and Gryffindor.
“What would someone like you need to think about?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business, McKinnon.” The small lightness of their conversation came to a halt as he narrowed his eyes at her in a way that Hermione would probably be proud.
“If you’re not up for sharing why you’ve been stalking me then you can leave.” He shuffled around a bit and shrugged his shoulders, placing them in his pockets.
“What if I feel like staying?” His small smile was back, and there was a slight teasing to his words that made Marlene want to blush, that did actually make her blush and then curse herself for it. She wasn’t about to succumb to some pretty boy.
“Why would you want to do that?”
He stared at her for a second, letting out a small chuckle and running a hand through his hair in a way that Sirius and James did. Must be a boy thing, but even so Marlene couldn’t stop herself from tucking her own hair behind her ear. “Thought you were smarter than that, McKinnon.” What the fuck did he mean?
Sure she wasn’t on the level of Hermione, Remus and Lily where she seemed to know everything and anything, down to pointless nonsense; nor was she like James and Sirius who seemed to possess natural talents to combat their stupidity.
She was just Marlene, average and doing well enough in her studies that teachers remained off her back and her life was free enough to make mistakes and not be questioned about it. Yet, like her parents, this little shit seemed to want more from here.
“Smart enough to figure out why you have been following me around for the past few days despite the fact that we had never spoken before tonight?” She questioned, raising a singular eyebrow as Regulus let out a hum.
“And here I thought we had a moment during Halloween.” Regulus spoke, voice full of humour as Marlene frowned, trying to remember the whole night between breaking off with James and wanting to punch Sirius in the face – but there had been a moment, bright blue eyes and steady hands, a quick conversation and a moment forgotten.
“That was you?”
“Glad to know my face is easily forgotten.”
“But that party was for forth years and up.” Marlene muttered as he raised an eyebrow and she crossed her arms over her chest with an easy grin. "Aren't you like twelve?" Her voice taunted as he let out a very unBlack like snort.
“Fifteen actually.” He turned up his nose and have her a quick grin. “So only one year younger than you.” He spoke as if she should know what he meant, but she didn’t have a clue.
“Is that supposed to mean something?”
“What do you want it to mean?”
Timid eyes stared at Marlene, unsure of themselves and so innocent that it felt like she was corrupting them just by looking. He was a child really, a child with the weight of the world that seemed to be resting on his shoulders from the brief things she had heard from Hermione – and a boy without any real friends.
It didn’t seem fair that he had faced the brunt of his brothers anger, that he had to deal with whatever was going on at home, and that he could still throw a smile on his face in front of a person he knew was friends with said brother.
“This is not the conversation I expected to have tonight.” Marlene whispered to herself, running a hand through her short hair and wincing when her fingers caught between the strands. When was the last time she had even brushed her hair?
“No, I imagine you probably were going to talk to Hermione.”
“How do you know that?” Marlene turned, snapping at him before she rolled her eyes. “Please don’t tell me you’ve actually been stalking me.” A golden hand came up as she shook her head and Regulus smirked slightly.
“No.” Regulus chuckled. “Like most of the school, I was in the Great Hall when everything kicked off.” Bright eyes looked at her, full of amusement.
Marlene felt that guilt pull at her again, two fights with Hermione and both of them had been in public, or public enough for it to get around. They both knew how this school could be and the whispers would be following them around for the next few months, possibly until summer.
“I was surprised my cousin didn’t curse you right there.” In all honesty, so was she. Hermione wasn’t one to keep her temper under wraps when she was pissed off and Marlene had pissed her off enough that pulling wand out wouldn’t have been a surprise.
“You know it’s weird when you call her that.” Marlene commented instead as Regulus frowned and nodded his head.
“Because her and Sirius are dancing around each other?”
“No...well yes...but also because I just kind of forget.” She muttered lamely. Hermione had always been James’ sister in her eyes, even as she knew the truth, but it wasn’t something she focused on everyday – nor wanted to bring up in fear of getting that Potter glare they had both mastered.
“You and a lot of other people…but then again most people try and forget they are related to the Blacks.” Regulus joked dryly, but it was the truth if she ever heard it. How many people in this school had a connection to the Blacks? “And if we are being honest, I wouldn’t really call Hermione family.”
“Then why do you call her that?” Why was she trying to keep this conversation going? They weren’t even friends, yet she had never felt so nervous and at ease in her life.
“Politeness, though I suppose it’s more of a way to feel close to someone who I once thought would be in my life.” Regulus uttered, head dropping before a mask took over his face and he looked so much colder and older that Marlene couldn’t help but hiss out a breath.
Five, nearly sex years, of being friends with the same people and she had never given much thought to the relations between people in school. Regulus and Sirius had butted head since the moment they became Gryffindor and Slytherin – but Hermione had been someone Regulus once knew too, maybe not well enough to actually remember but he had no doubt heard about her.
“I’m pretty sure she still wants to be in your life.” It wasn’t a lie. While Hermione barely spoke about the distant cousin, there had been times she had done what she could to look out for him, offer a hand, be disappointed in his plans.
“Maybe, doesn’t matter either way – it’s not like we can go skipping down the road declaring to be best friends.” Now that was an image that made Marlene chuckle, she could only imagine the faces of the school if that happened.
“No, she doesn’t even do that with me.”
“She might, if you talk to her instead of chatting up here with me.”
“Maybe I am enjoying our conversation.” She teased lightly, but it was the truth. It was nice to talk to someone who understood but wasn’t so wrapped up in her groups drama, that he couldn’t offer any insight.
Regulus huffed out a laugh, eyes strangely bright again. “Calm down Gryffindor, just think about how your friends would react if they walked in on this.” He pointed between them with an amused smile as Marlene felt her cheeks blush slightly.
“I doubt they will be looking for me, so I think we’re safe.” She whispered with a cheeky grin as he fought to fight down a smile.
“Good to know.”
Neither spoke, leaning on the railing and looking up at the sky, the stars twinkling above them, and the silence offering a slight calm that she hadn’t had in a while.
She had expected him to leave, hadn’t expected to have a conversation with someone so different than herself, but it had been nice, and perhaps he had needed it too.
Regulus Black had never been someone she thought she would stare at but here she couldn’t help herself, he was pretty to watch, like his brother, but that wasn’t what caught her eye. His pale face relaxed in the dim light, eyes closed against the wind that ruffled his hair, a slight smile on his face that scrunched up his cheeks and nose.
Yet despite the calm atmosphere, he looked tired, like he could sleep for days. Her mouth opened to ask him, snapping shut before she could ruin the mood between them.
“Do I have something on my face?” Marlene blinked, focusing back on his as he raised his eyebrows at her, a small smile there.
“No?” Her voice squeaked slightly, blush rising to her cheeks in a very unMarlene way. Why was she bothered? There had been plenty of men...nay, boys...that she had looked over a time or two, given them a smile and that was that.
But here she was, blushing like a little girl over a pretty boy, who was younger than her, just because she had been caught zoning out over his face...even if it was in concern. And now he was watching her amused and knowing, and honestly it was pissing her off.
“I better go.” She mumbled, turning around and picking up her jacket that she had left on the floor as Regulus chuckled some more. She stopped before the door, turning around to face him stiffly. “Thank you for tonight but erm...don’t follow me again and maybe we should just keep this whole thing to ourselves, yeah? Good.” She rushed out as he watched her.
“Believe me, I have no interest in anyone finding out I spent the night talking to a Gryffindor, let alone Marlene McKinnon.” A knot formed in her stomach and she frowned, even as he teased.
“Good to know.”
“Though if I may over a piece of advice.” He wasn’t asking but Marlene waited anyway, ready to here whatever he had to say. “Sometimes saying sorry, or offering some kind of apology, can go a long way.” A sad smile swept across his face as she nodded her head and moved for the door again, stopping once more.
“You know, I wouldn’t be upset if...erm...well...you know if you need to talk, I’m all ears.” His eyebrows raised and Marlene felt herself frown at her stumbling words. She hadn’t planned to say that, she was urging for a goodbye and leaving.
Regulus’ eyebrows dropped and his lips turned into an amused smile as he nodded his head. “Good to know – same to you.”
What the fuck was happening?
First she’d managed to piss off all her friends, and now she was up here flir- no talking, with some fifteen year old boy that was in the house she hated and was also the hated brother of one of her friends.
Her head felt clouded and yet somehow clear as she made her way back to the Gryffindor tower, hoping not to run into her friends because she wasn’t quite sure if she would be able to explain why she was acting like a flustered loon – or that she wouldn’t blurt something out that made them all get even more pissed off than they already were.
Another part of her, one she was trying to battle, wondered when she would be able to talk to Regulus again.