Moving On
Saturday the 1st of November 1975
War made people do terrible things, made them become terrible things, made them suffer with the memories of terrible things. Hermione had always heard that from her mother and she had always taken it as a form of truth when they watched documentaries about PTSD and Vietnam.
It had never occurred in her ten year old brain that she would be one of those people. Stood under the heat of the water, watching as it pooled pinkish red at her feet, mixing with the tears not doubt falling from her face – she could truly understand it now. War was a terrible thing – it twisted and changed you, it took people from you and made you see everything as another move on a chessboard – it made you give people up.
Watch them be cut down before you, eyes begging for help but a need to save yourself winning out. How had she left him there? Granted there hadn’t actually been much she could do for him without getting them both killed, without giving away their upper hand, but guilt never understood that logic. Even Harry struggled to understand that logic.
The shower turned cold and her skin red raw, prompting her to step out into the grungy bathroom. The mirror was fogged, and well she didn’t want to see the bushy hair or scars that littered her face, she needed to assess the latest damage done and if she could be bothered to fix it or leave it as a reminder of physical guilt.
A sigh left her mouth as she secured the towel, wiping her hand across the mirror and frowning. The same face stared back, though younger but with a shock of black curls and straighter teeth, clashing against the pale skin. But she knew this girl – it was her, in some way – Hermione Potter.
Hermione Granger, the thoughts seemed to change as she now stared back at the war ridden older girl before her with trauma fresh in her eyes and bones sticking out against the thin skin. Her voice a mere rasp when she spoke. “Do you remember this?”
Hermione tried, someone had died, been murdered but she couldn’t quite remember who – but it had been bloody and traumatic enough to effect everyone involved. Their story had ended so suddenly and hers had continued to the point of her gaining a new life, a new chance to be a child while righting the wrongs. Yet she couldn’t remember who it was and it was tearing her apart.
Someone she had cared about, big eyes and an innocence that had seemed to follow them throughout their life.
“Did they not mean anything to you any more?” Her head snapped up, moving to look past the bushy brown hair and focus on the boy now stood beside her old self, just like his father in every single way but the eyes – those were his mothers, bright emerald green and full of...distrust?
“Harry?” Her voice scratched through her throat, her hand reaching up to touch the cold dirty mirror, leaving a bloody hand print near his face as he moved closer. Her head turned, expecting to see him behind her but only the cold dark room remained with only her alone in it. “I have missed you -”
“I wish I could say the same but how can you miss someone you don’t know?” He question her, her heart all but dropped to the floor and tears stung her eyes. He stared at her as though she was some kind of stranger, a person he no longer knew. “Do you even think about me any more or is it solely about them?” His head nodded, indicating behind her.
Hermione didn’t need to turn but she did anyway, her friends stood there like statues in a shop, frozen in a single moment that highlighted their happiness and youth, she wanted them to move and fight for her – to tell Harry that she was the same person she had always been, that it had just been too long.
“Of course I think about you – all the time I think about you and the mission and -” She began, tears falling from her eyes as she faced Harry again, a small smile forming on his face.
“Yet you lie to me, the mission is nothing to you, not compared to what killing him would be.” A shiver ran through her spine, a cloaked man beside her, a frozen grin on his face and his wand in his hand. He remained a statue like her friends, yet she knew what he was capable of and Harry seemed to too. “My Hermione would have never been so petty and vindictive as to plan the death of her father.”
His words might have had meaning to her other half, who nodded her head in agreement, but they did nothing to her. She wasn’t Hermione Granger, she hadn’t been for a long time, her circumstances and life had been different, and if either of them had had a parent who was a murderer then that might not think twice about doing what she had to do to make sure he was gone.
Plus it wasn’t like she was out seeking the man, he was still locked away for the moment – a simple figment of her imagination at this moment and nothing more.
“You should kill him.” A voice seemed to whisper by her side, cold and high pitched in her ear, making her twist to look for the ghost.
A clattering had her head whipping the other way, a wand lay in the sink before the mirror. A wand she hadn’t seen in years, that now no longer felt like her own but instead felt like she was holding a part of someone else. Still she moved it, holding it before her and pointing it at her fathers grinning face, though she knew it wouldn’t help when she finally awoke, she could almost picture the joy she would get if he fell.
A hand reached through the mirror, a shade darker than her own, grabbing the wand and pulling it back, Hermione following rapidly only for her hand to meet a solid surface, the mirror only bending for one of them it seemed.
“Give it back.” Hermione whispered as the other Hermione twisted her wand around in her hand, frowning down at the wood as Harry simply glared at the mirror.
“Why did you take it?”
“Any magic she wants to do with this won’t work.”
“What do you mean?” Harry asked, taking the wand and inspecting it before shoving it back into Hermione Granger’s hands, seeming to have gotten what he needed for it. “It’s your wand.”
“Exactly it’s mine, but she is not me – not any more.” Granger spoke softly, a strange cold smile taking over her face as she sent a quick look to Harry and turned to face the mirror once more. "We are not the same person any more, we were at first, and maybe not so long ago but you've changed, and you're so protected by the name and status you carry that you've lost who you once we're. Do you remember running for your life or the torture you endured?"
A scream tore from Hermione’s throat, her hands reaching to grip the skin before her as her knees buckled under the weight of the pain ripping through her body and the echoes of Bellatrix’s cold laugh. It was pain she had wished she had forgotten that seemed to have been burnt into her skin, that lasted for seemingly seconds and hours at the same time, her brain trying to fight against the pain.
“Do you remember the pain of her knife?” Granger whispered tauntingly over the screams but Hermione heard her loud and clear as one hand slipped from her hold on the sink, the feeling of the words being craved into her arm and hot thick blood rolling to the tips of her fingers.
It was madness, her own mind torturing her with something she wanted to long forget.
“I remember!” Hermione spat out, the pain didn’t ease and her body shook but it didn’t stop her from pulling herself up and staring at her other self in the mirror. “I remember every scar, every night without food and I remember how much was sacrificed – don’t think I forgot.” Her words dripped from her tongue like venom as Harry flinched.
“And yet you forget him?”
Hermione cringed away, she could see it all now, the running – the pain, the guilt and blood that washed away in the shower. A decision she had made to save herself. The way those kind eyes had stared at her as she left him there, her own eyes now filling with tears. She had left Neville to die alone, a cruel and evil death without trying to save him.
“I could never forget any of it, even if I wanted too, and sometimes I do.” Hermione hissed out, the pain faded, leaving behind a slight burn as she glared at Granger. “Even as the future changes, the pain still lives inside me – yours and my own and I only have so much control.” Her words stumbled around and her tears ran down her face.
Her bloody hands pressed onto the mirror, a small crack echoing throughout the bathroom but she didn’t care to look, her eyes focused on herself and her not-even-alive best friend.
“You -”
“Our lives have been different, I have felt your pain, have been through everything you have – but you have never felt mine, you’ll never know what it is like to have a father murder your own mother – to have the weight of a future on your shoulders, to not have the room to make mistakes – you’ll never know.” Hermione whispered the last words as Granger tensed her jaw and narrowed her eyes.
“We may not know, but – I just want my Hermione back.” Harry whispered, his hand coming up to the mirror, almost as though he wished to come through, to feel her hand against his. Her head turned away, towards her friends, her heart longing for them to be here with them. “But you’ve made your choice – you’ve chosen them.” He sounded so sad and she wanted to assure him but what could she even say?
“It hurt to come back here, to let you go.” Hermione whispered, turning back to face Harry. “But you were long dead before I even made a choice and this is where I belong now – this is where I have to be to make sure we both get to live the better lives, and I can’t regret any of that, even if it means I’m different than who I once was.” He nodded his head and let out a choked sob as Hermione smiled tearfully.
Stepping back she stared at the mirror one last time as the cracks began to join from the edges, distorting her vision and cutting her connection with the pair.
…
“Is that my jumper?” James asked the second Hermione sat next to him in the Great Hall, her head thumping against the wood as she nodded her head and let out a groan. She couldn’t see her brothers concerned frown but she could feel it. “Are you alright? I didn’t think you had that much to drink last night…”
He left the question hanging in the air as she lifted her head and rested her face onto her hands and let out a sigh. “I didn’t...I just had a nightmare.” She whispered to him, though she knew Remus could hear them from across the table, his face twitching in concern as James wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her towards him to lay her head on his shoulder.
He had never asked but he knew she had them, had heard her when she first moved in and probably just assumed it was to do with her Grandparents but he had always been there to offer a shoulder to lay on or a hand to squeeze.
“Maybe you should get some dreamless sleep potion from Madam Pomfrey.” He suggested softly, his cheek laying on her head as Remus pretended to be interested in making three teas before him and sending first years still hoped up on sugar glares to keep them away. “I know you don’t like it but...it might help, this always seems to be a hard time for you.”
Because if everything goes to shit, you and Lily die in six years; She wanted to say but kept her mouth shut, sending Remus a smile as he placed one of the teas in front of her.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Here. Chocolate always makes me feel better.” Remus muttered with red cheeks as he placed a pain au chocolat onto her plate, eyes going wide as Hermione’s eyes stung with unshed tears and she gave him a wobbly smile. “Wait...I’m sorry...did I say something wrong?”
“No, Moony, it’s just reminds her of her Maman.” James explained softly as Remus frown confused but nodded his head nonetheless as James squeezed her to his side. “That and she always tends to be a bit emotional after nightmares.” Hermione sniffed and nodded her head in agreement, not moving away from her brothers comforting hold even as he tried to eat his breakfast with one hand.
“I’m sorry.” Remus muttered softly, patting her hand softly.
“Don’t worry, you didn’t -”
“Oh fuck Merlin, why did you let me drink so much last night?” Their conversation was interrupted by Sirius plonking down next to Remus and gripping his head with a loud groan that attracted attention.
Hermione shut her mouth and focused on her pastry. It wasn’t that she was annoyed with him, they had discussed this before and she knew he didn’t want a relationship but still it stung to know how much he hadn’t wanted one. Her hope had died when she realised that she couldn’t change his mind, when whatever he felt for her wasn’t enough to even give it a try.
So she had decided that she would move on, get on with her life and even go on dates before the war slapped her in the face. She deserved to give something else a try that wouldn’t make her feel like she was on an emotional roller-coaster waiting for the other person to stop stopping and starting.
“Why is no one showing me sympathy?”
“Your an arse.”
“Am I?” Sirius frowned, looking at each of the three with a frown. “What did I do?” Hermione kept her mouth closed as James rolled his eyes and took a sip of his tea.
“Opened your mouth.” Remus bit back with his own glare and Hermione couldn’t help but be surprised. Sure Sirius had clearly not thought before he spoke last night but it hadn’t been anything that they all didn’t already know.
“Is that all it takes these days?” Sirius asked with his own eye roll, grabbing a sausage and taking a bite before pointing it at James, who had nodded his head. “You all should know that I don’t tend to think before I speak so why do you all look like I stole your wand?” His eyes flickered to Hermione, a frown forming on his face.
“Well considering you managed to be a first class idiot who made his feelings known -” James began, stopping as Hermione lifted her head, she could see where this was going and how they were going to involve her in this.
“I’m going to go see if Lily and Marlene are awake.” She mumbled, stepping from her seat as James stared at her, concern dripping from him as he nodded his head and patted her back reassuringly. She wished he wouldn’t try and make things so obvious, that he wouldn’t make it look like she was upset about Sirius. Because she wasn’t.
“You’re still coming to my party tonight though, right?” Sirius asked suddenly as Hermione let out a breath and turned to face him, pushing away the part of herself that just wanted to swoon at those silver eyes.
“Your birthday isn’t until Monday.”
“Can’t exactly have a party then...well we could be it would be cut short and drinking would be limited.” Hermione narrowed her eyes as Remus pulled a face into his tea and James let out a snort but Sirius was still staring up at her with those hopeful eyes, unaware he’d trashed whatever was happening between them.
“Don’t you think you drank enough last night?” She asked cautiously.
“Yes, but I reckon a bit of hair of the dog is what I need.” He winked at her, his smile dropping some when she pursed her lips and looked away. “Come on, Mi’.” His voice dropped and Hermione couldn’t help the way her heart picked up slightly.
“I imagine I’ll be dragged down either way, so yes I’ll be there.” She sent him a quick look, trying her best to ignore the way his grin seemed to lighten a room.
“Great, then could you…” She didn’t wait for him to finish, turning her back and storming away as he turned with a pout to James and Remus.
…
“Why. Do. I. Have. Nothing. To. Wear?” Hermione punctuated each word with a sharp inhale and by sending a piece of clothing somewhere in the room. It wasn’t like she actually cared about dressing up...but well maybe Sirius had been right when he said that she might as well date the library, clearly she hadn’t been giving boys the right signal.
Even if there was no boys she was actually interested in that wanted her, well it didn’t hurt to show them that she was an option or give them a try.
"Merlins saggy left ballsack, what the fuck happened in here?" Hermione turned to see Marlene in the bathroom doorway, a towel wrapped around her and her golden hair dripping water onto the floor. "I didn't even know you owed this much clothing." She jested as she entered the room and sat on her bed.
"Hey Mar, did you...Oh my." Lily ran into the room from the stairs, stopping and frowning. “Hermione, have you gone to the bad place?” She asked, running over to kneel beside Hermione, grabbing her face and forcing her to look into those beautiful emerald eyes.
Hermione slapped Lily’s hands away, turning back to her trunk and letting out a groan. “I’m trying to find something to wear for this stupid party I’m all but being forced to attend.”
“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?” Lily asked, settling her hands on her knees and frowning at Hermione’s current outfit.
“I wear this everyday – I need something...better.”
“What can be better than a turtleneck and your short skirt?” Marlene teased as she pointed her wand as her hair, a loud gust of air coming out like a hair dryer. “Unless that is you are trying to impress someone, Sirius perhaps.”
“Not him.” Hermione pushed away Marlene’s head as she leaned over, golden hair tickling Hermione’s nose. She refused to look at the girl in the eye, far too annoyed to be accused of lying today or whatever else Marlene could cook up in that head of hers.
“Wow, you move on fast.”
“Nothing to move on from.” Hermione sighed out, even as her heart gave a slight tug – she picked up a shirt and shook her head, throwing it somewhere else in the room. “I’m just trying to get out there like everyone keeps telling me to – and what better place to try than a party where half of the school is invited.” Lily looked amused and Marlene just raised and eyebrow and began sorting the clothes.
“You know if you want to make Sirius see what he’s been missing then I suggest that ACDC top and nothing else.” Hermione stared down at the top that was in her hands, something she had stolen from Sirius without actually remembering – but it was soft and him and...well it need to be returned to him.
“Both of you either need to offer suggestions or fuck off.” Hermione snapped, throwing the top near the door and glaring at her friends.
“That was a suggestion.” Marlene muttered, rolling her eyes and giving up on the clothes.
“Hermione, just wear what you are comfortable and see where the night goes...when we said get out more we just meant don’t limit yourself to your brother and his friends, us or the library.” Lily whispered softly, patting her leg and standing up.
Hermione felt her bottom lip pull out in a pout but Lily was right, she was always right. Her friends seemed to have other friends, or people they spoke to – people they got on well with and Hermione was just stuck with the five of them, pretending the rest of the student body didn’t exist unless they were in her face.
“I meant she should get a boyfriend, nothing like getting out there in a broom cupboard.” Marlene was saying as Hermione scrunched up her nose and turned to face her best friend.
“I’m going to pretend you aren’t talking about my brother.”
...
The party was in full swing by the time they made it down there – full of hormonal writhing teenagers who were desperate to get there hands and lips on anything that attracted them in the slightest. What was it about reaching the fifth year that seemed to have so many of her fellow students eager to give it up? And why was she, Hermione, so fucking scared of giving any of these boys a try?
She wasn’t a prude and technically a part of her mind had already done the snogging and shagging in a broom cupboard – even if she put a great amount to never think about it – but in this regard it seemed like Hermione Granger had been a lot less afraid of trying things unlike herself.
And the torturous thing was, was that Hermione did want it. She was a teenage girl and she was surrounded by boys that were apparently attractive – and she was sixteen and had been on one date with McLaggen of all people and had kissed her brothers best friend twice! While everyone else spent their time shopping around.
“Now that is not what you want to see.” Marlene whispered, bringing Hermione back from her staring of the many boys in the Common Room to see Jenny Brown with her tongue down someone’s throat.
“Oh look, the unholy trinity has finally arrived.” The three girls turned their heads to meet the blue eyes and sneer of Emmeline Vance, her deep hair falling smoothly over her copper skin – groaning in unison.
“I’ve been called worse.” Marlene threw off with a wave of her hand, smiling widely when Vance pursed her lips. Nothing made Marlene happier than pissing of Emmeline or Jenny.
“I’m still trying to figure out what it is I’ve done that can be considered unholy.” Lily spoke bemused, her eyes narrowing and her tongue running over her teeth as she clearly tried to recall what it was she had done but seemed to be coming up blank.
“Don’t you know, redheads have no soul.”
“I forgot about that.”
“Did you need something else, Emmeline?” Hermione asked over Marlene and Lily who were chuckling to themselves, a sweet smile on her face as Vance narrowed her eyes and turned on her heel – storming away from them. “Guess she didn’t – one day I’m going to figure out what her problem is and then make her shove it up her arse.”
Marlene chortled and Lily shook her head, while Hermione mimed punching the girl in the face. It wasn’t that Hermione hated her, she knew what the future held for Emmeline – murdered by Death Eaters in 1996, but she couldn’t stand the bitchy attitude the girl gave off and prayed everyday that she would grow out of it.
Until then she could deal with the limited interaction that happened when the woke up, when they went to class and when they went to bed – all of which could be avoided if you did those things before her.
A sigh left her mouth as she scanned the crowd and turned back to her two friends. “Where’s James...”
“No!”
“Found him.” Marlene said as her brother came strolling past, all but chasing after Sirius who was trying to hide behind Remus.
“For fucks sake...no.”
“It’s my birthday.” Sirius pouted, clutching something close to his chest and diving out of the way when James attempted to reach for it, glasses slipping low on his nose and his hands moving Remus like a blockade to prevent Sirius from escaping.
“Not for another two days and I don’t care.” James snapped, doing some fancy spin and grabbing Sirius from behind. If Hermione was sure what was going on then she might have told Sirius to not try and keep something away from a chaser.
“Well let me celebrate early.”
“By letting you drink this?” James asked, moving slightly and pulling the bottle from Sirius, which Hermione was now sure was a bottle of absinthe – which she was also sure was illegal. He shoved it into Remus’ chest and sent a glare at the werewolf. “You’re supposed to be watching him tonight.”
Remus opened his mouth to say something, his eyes drifting to the three girls as he let out a sigh and a grin. “Thank Merlin, I missed you all!” He moved faster than Hermione had ever seen, his long arms stretching out and pulling them into a strange hug that just felt like they were groping each other.
“Not that I’m not loving this, Remus, but Lily’s got her hand lodged somewhere that might just make this hug into something a little more adult.” Marlene mumbled, her head pressed into his neck but he seemed to hear her just fine as he let them go.
“I did not – you were the one feeling my arse.” Lily snapped, her cheeks bright red as she brushed off her shirt and crossed her arms over her chest as Marlene shrugged her shoulders.
“Well at least you aren’t getting molested by Remus.” Marlene pointed out as Hermione tried to move away from the handsy werewolf who didn’t seem to know where he was putting his hands, but was just trying to hold onto her. “Hey, at least you got your wish of getting out there – though I did think it would be away from friends.” Hermione sent Marlene a glare as Lily raised her hand to slap the girls arm.
“Moony, mate -”
“Is he drunk?” Hermione asked her brother as he let out a sigh and began pulling Remus away from her. He didn’t answer and so she turned to the boy in question. “Remus, are you drunk?”
“Do you want to dance?” He asked her with a grin, moving away from James who seemed to have given up. Hermione blinked up at the green eyed boy, his hair messy and the smell of slight alcohol coming from him.
He didn’t wait for her to answer, clearly eager to get out there with the other bodies and away from their friends that he grabbed her hand and pulled her along, the bottle of absinthe still in his other hand as his head nodded to the music – a band Hermione didn’t even know but no doubt Sirius listened to because it was loud and sounded Muggle.
“So I see carefree Remus has joined us tonight.” Hermione spoke softly though she knew he could hear her, spinning her around and then waving his hands in the air.
“I deserve it after dealing with those two idiots.” He spoke gesturing to the two boys who were bickering with each other over something – James’ face pulled into a deep frown and Sirius’ eyes wide as he gestured in their direction. “Well more so Sirius than James – he’s the biggest idiot in the land and I’m sorry he hurt you last night.”
Hermione let out a breath and turned back to face Remus, her tongue coming out to wet her lips as she offered him a small smile. “He didn’t.”
He gave her a look, one that she had seen many times throughout their schools years and in her old life, though never really directed at her – one that told her he didn’t believe a word that came out of her mouth. He spun her around and let out a sigh. “He never thinks and he’ll regret it one day.” He whispered the words lowly to her, his breath fanning across her face.
She couldn’t help but stare at him as he pulled back, face looking younger than she had ever known him, gone was the distance from those kind green eyes, the shaggy hair growing darker with every passing day, flicking around his head and hiding some of his faded scars from view – and a handsome smile on his face.
Once upon a time, Hermione Granger had crushed on Professor Remus Lupin, had thought him intelligent and handsome despite the greying hair and the deeper scars – if only she could see him now – young and full of life. He was handsome and sweet and everything that a girl should have been looking for in a boyfriend, yet Hermione couldn’t muster up even an ounce of romantic emotion for him.
It would make her life easier, she wasn’t ignorant to the blush and unmeeting eyes when he felt shy, and they would have a time limit, for she refused to get in the way of Dora, but the image refused to spring to life – she couldn’t imagine them kissing or walking holding hands – she couldn’t imagine losing her friend.
“If only things had been different.” Hermione whispered as he spun her back out, his eyes seemed to understand as he nodded his head and offered her a small smile.
“I think that’s enough mush for the moment...how about we forget all our problems and we crack open the green devil?” He showed her the bottle, grinning mischievously as he let go of her hands and Hermione raised an amused eyebrow.
“I agree with but how about we stick to the alcohol that won’t make us see the fairies.”
“That might be a good idea – but let me just hide this.” Remus whispered, moving to the sofa where a couple were snogging, or eating each other – it was hard to tell, barely budging them as he stuffed the little bottle into the couch cushions. “Let’s go.”
His bright eyes turned to face her, his hands clapping together as he reaching out for her hand, Hermione let out a laugh and let him pull her along – only stopping so he could reach out and grab Lily along the way.
“What’s happening?” Lily asked with an amused smile, looking up at Remus as he came to a stop in front of the over crowded and well stocked drinks table that had been set up.
“We’re doing shots.”
…
There was something amusing about not being drunk but watching drunk people, like watching toddlers through slightly cloudy eyes, as they ran around on uncertain feet, stumbling around muttering non-sense sentences while trying to drink from their adult cups and then crying when it spilt down their fronts – their more sober friends running to clean them up like parents.
Hermione was glad that her friends seemed to have better management of themselves in their drunk state and she was left just watching them – mainly Remus and Lily who were pissed off their faces and dancing together like they were in some club, mouthing words to songs she was pretty sure they didn’t actually know the lyrics to.
Such a good look for two respectable Prefects.
“Is Evans pissed?” Hermione looked to her right where James was now stood, a full cup in his hand and an amused smile on his face. He didn’t seem drunk, much like her, he just seemed to be enjoying the atmosphere. “Do you think if I took a photo of this, that she would kill me?”
“Maybe not now but in the morning, yes.” Hermione muttered as she took a look around the room, she could hear Sirius but couldn’t see him and that was fine with her for the moment, right not she was more concerned with where her other best friend was. “Is Marly not with you?”
James gave her a tight grin, pointing at some darkened corner where Marlene’s golden head of hair could be seen as some guy whispered something in her ear that made the girl grin. Hermione turned back to her brother, move opened and ready to speak but he beat her too it. “Relax, it’s fine – we ended things last night.”
“Oh shit...still she moves fast, shouldn’t she...I’m sorry.” Hermione winced, taking a sip of her drink and moving her eyes away.
“I was a bit too but it’s not like we were in love, she deserves better than some guy who couldn’t see her as anything more.” James answered and Hermione couldn’t help but smile at her maturing brother, despite the fact that he had been shagging her best friend for months and mooning after Lily for years.
“And that’s that boy?”
“No, that’s her rebound and I doubt he minds – I don’t even mind, though it will take more than Mr Muscles to get over me.” James tensed, pulling himself up to his full height and pushing out his chin. He looked more a lanky child trying to intimidate a ghost.
“Of course, baby brother.” Hermione chuckled out, pulling on his one chin hair and laughing when he slapped her hand away with a pout.
“You’re only older than me by six months and...Hermione?” Her tongue ran over her teeth and her cup seemed to fold under her fingers like it was a piece of paper, she frowned and dropped it to the floor as all the noise faded away.
She was never under any impression that Sirius and her would have more, but standing in the crowd on his birthday, watching him shove his tongue down some unknown girls throat, hands gripping at the exposed skin without a care, hurt more than she thought it would or it should. He had made a choice and she accepted that.
Even if he was a rake.
“Are you ok?” A frown made it’s way to her face as she turned to face James.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Hermione asked lightly, grabbing her brothers drink and taking a sip. “He’s always been free to do what he wants.” Even if that’s not me, the idiotic part of her brain, that was clearly soaking in all it’s teenage angst, taunted her.
“Yeah but -”
“But nothing – did I think something more could happen? Maybe. But I should have known better, he’s never been the type since he got his first erection and I don’t think he ever will be, he made that much clear yesterday.” Hermione snapped, placing the cup of the side and glaring at James.
“I get it – he was a dick, who didn’t know what he was saying.” James tried to defend his friend but who both knew the lie that littered his words. Sirius wasn’t stupid and whether he may act like he didn’t remember, they all knew he didn’t forget that much when he was drunk and was avoiding it like an awkward conversation.
They stood there in silence, watching their friends having more fun than the pair of them currently were, waiting for the other to make the move as Lily and Remus moved on to throwing their arms around each others waist and spinning around in a circle.
“Listen James -”
“I know it doesn’t make it better and I know he hurt you but I think there was a reason he was being that much of a cunt yesterday.” James began, cutting her off and letting out a sigh. “I don’t know what it says, but I doubt it’s pleasant, but he got a letter from his parents a couple of days ago and he’s been in a shit mood since.” Hermione clicked her tongue against her teeth and let her shoulders drop.
She didn’t have to know what it said to know that it probably contained the consequences of his actions or what would be expected of him now that he was just over a year away from being of age. But she couldn’t exactly just let everything drop because he got a mean letter.
James seemed to sense that from her too as he laid a hand on her arm. “I know you’re annoyed, but maybe don’t go too hard on him – I think he’s struggling with things he’s not ready to talk about yet.”
No, he would just run away from home and never share what had happened with anyone who cared about him.
“Of course.” She settled for instead.
James nodded his head, seeming to drop the conversation when he saw someone walk past. “Hey Zach.” The boy, or really man, turned with a wide grin, holding out his hand to shake James’, even as Hermione elbowed her brother in the ribs. “What the fuck...fine...Hermione this is Zachary Townsend, Zach this is my sister, Hermione – happy now?”
“Hi Hermione, nice to meet you.” Zach said with the same grin, moving warm his hand from James’ to hold Hermione’s – his skin a few shades darker than hers but pinkish in undertone. His light brown hair flicked around the pretty face and light brown eyes, and soft lines formed in his cheeks and eyes as he grinned.
“You too.” She stuttered back as he slowly released her hand and placed them in his pockets. “I’m sorry I don’t...what house are you in?” Her voice squeaked out as her eyes turned wide and her hand flew up to her throat.
“Gryffindor.”
“Oh...wow I really am unaware – please tell me you are not in my year, that might make me feel worse.” Her cheeks turned red but at least her voice sounded normal and she wasn’t sweating.
He let out a laugh that was warm like honey. “No, seventh year, but don’t worry about it – I spend most of my time studying in my dorm...plus I think you’ve had your hands far too full to even notice anyone else though that doesn’t mean people haven’t noticed you.” Hermione felt a small smile curve on her lips as James let out a scoff.
“Well it was nice to see you Zach but -”
“What are you doing tomorrow?” Hermione asked suddenly, seeming to shock both her brother and Zach, though one looked more happy than the other.
“I was just going to study in the library, nothing too special.” Zach explained, his cheeks turning a bit pink like he wished he had said something else but Hermione smiled easily and tilted her head to the side as he flicked a hair off his face.
“Would you mind if I joined you? I have an essay due in Potions -”
“No we don’t.”
“- perhaps you wouldn’t mind helping me out.” Hermione finished, cutting off her brother with a grin as Zach nodded his head and ignored the boy too.
“I’d love to – we can meet here, if you want or after breakfast, whichever is easier for you.” He stumbled over his words, seeming a bit more flustered in a way that was quite adorably Remus and offered her some comfort from her own blushing cheeks.
“Let’s say here, midday.” She assured him as he let out a sigh, reaching out to pat his arm.
“Great...well I’ll see you then.” He grinned shyly at her.
“I look forward to it.” Hermione assured him as he nodded his head and mumbled something under his breath, turning and stopping to chat with a few more friends before climbing up the stairs, cheeks still red and a grin still on his face.
“What the fuck was that?” James asked harshly as Hermione turned to face him with a soft smile. “Not too minutes ago you were heartbroken over Sirius.” She refused to let his point bring her down from what had been a pleasant and more normal conversation than she had with any other boy.
“I’m getting myself out there – he seems nice and handsome, if nothing else then I’ll gain a friend.” Hermione explained, turning her head to look where Zach had disappeared, her eyes moving by themselves to find Sirius still in snog with the girl.
Moving on seemed like the better idea.
…
Sunday the 2nd of November 1975
Hermione snickered as she and Lily walked into the Common Room – cleaner than the night before with no remnants of a party except for the black messy head that was sat on the sofa.
She crept her way forward, leaning over the side and chuckling at Remus whose head lay on a pillow in her brothers lap, James hand resting on his head – quite intimate and would only fuel the rumours of the boys love triangle if anyone else saw them.
Lily laughed too before letting out a hiss and collapsing into the single armchair, pushing her sunglasses further up her nose and pulling on the messy bun that sat on top of her head. James moved at the sound, frowning at the redhead and tilting his head back to look at his sister.
“Morning – why are sleeping here?” Hermione asked softly as James tried to close his eyes again, letting out a groan and rubbing his tired eyes under his glasses, the hazel brighter inside the slightly redden skin.
“Sirius got up there before us, locked the door and all but refused to help me bring Remus to bed.” He answered, voice raspy, his eyes shifting to a red cheeked Lily who was shifting in her seat. Hermione smirked and poked Remus in the cheek, laughing when he weakly slapped her hand away. “Nice jumper, Evans.”
“Fuck off, Potter.”
“Rude – I should ask for it back.” Lily’s mouth opened slightly as she looked down at the oversized jumper she had stolen from Hermione, looking between the siblings and at Hermione’s own oversized jumper before seeming to realise it wasn’t some fashion choice.
Whatever she had been preparing to say was cut off with a sigh as she sagged back against the sofa. “I can’t even be bothered to care, we’ll see how I deal later when I don’t feel like a flobberworm.”
Hermione let out a small chuckle, leaning further over the sofa to play with Remus’ darkening hair, the dirty blond seeming to shift into a more mousy colour with every passing year – and she knew it wouldn’t be long before the greys started appearing – before the wear and tear of the full moon caught up to him.
She hoped she could remember the potion by then. Or find Belby, she had the money, she could afford to supply Remus for the rest of his life but for now it just seemed to be a waiting game.
“That’s nice.” The werewolf in question mumbled out, snuggling in his face even more into the pillow as Hermione scratched his hair like he was a dog.
“Better not be too nice, it’s my lap your laying on.” James shoved his friend as Remus blinked open an eye, turned pale and closed it within a few seconds, not caring where or who he was laid on in this minute.
“I miss my bed.”
“Then we should get you back in it.” Hermione spoke softly, moving around the sofa to stand before Remus, picking up his shoes and throwing them into Lily’s lap – the witch letting out a groan. Remus blinked up at her, his cheeks turning a soft pink and his hands reaching out.
“I’m right here.” James protested as he moved out slowly from his position.
“Get your mind out of the gutter.” Hermione snapped, reaching for one of the boys hands. “Come on...he can’t keep you out your room all morning too, or the shower.” James nodded his head, moving for the other hand as Lily stood up and offered a slight support by placing one hand on Remus’ back.
The journey up the stairs wasn’t easy – Remus seemed to have lost control of his feet and was mumbling with every passing step that the Potter siblings had to drag him up, with James claiming they should have just levitated him.
It would have been easier, but no doubt the werewolf would have vomited with every wave of his body, at least now he only had a green tinge. And Lily made fast work of using her wand half-drunk to get the dormitory door open for them.
Remus seemed to find his feet as they entered the room, stumbling over nothing towards his bed, leaving the three to follow after him slowly. He turned to smile at them, his smile dropping fast and a rather high pitched scream leaving his mouth as he pointed behind them.
The three turned, differing reactions leaving them. Lily tipped her glasses onto the end of her nose and gave an approving smirk, Hermione raised her eyebrows and James looked disgusted at the sight of his best friends arse on full display. “What the fuck?”
The boy in question didn’t even move at the scream or exclamation of disgust but instead carried on sleeping rather cutely in Hermione’s opinion – his mouth open for soft snores, his hair fanned around his face and his black lashes all but fanned across his cheeks. She couldn’t even stop the small smile that made it’s way to her face as she tried to watch him in the least perverse way.
James didn’t seem to have the same opinion as he moved forward with the blanket from his bed, ready to throw it on Sirius to either give him some modesty or for himself. Though it didn’t last long. “AHHHH!” He stumbled backwards, dropping the blanket at the end of the bed and gripped his eyes. “No! No! No!”
It seemed that woke Sirius and apparently his bed guest that they had missed up, the girl in question shooting up and covering herself with a blanket as Hermione and Lily scrunched up their faces in disgust and Remus turned green.
“Emmeline?” Hermione couldn’t help but ask as Sirius blinked and pushed up his torso a bit, a frown on his face as he took in the people in his room. “Have you gone insane?” She hissed out at the boy, moving a step closer only to be pushed back by James.
“Jealous, Potter?” Emmeline asked with a grin, flicking her unbrushed hair from her face and revealing a hickey on her neck. Hermione was just glad she had the decency to cover herself up with the sheet.
“What?” James squeaked.
“Not you, boy Potter.” Emmeline exclaimed, her smirking face and comment ruined, and by Remus gagging behind them. “Is he going to throw up because he can’t do that here.” Entitled little bitchy Princess, hissed Hermione’s thoughts.
“His room, he can do what he wants – in fact I think I might be sick.” Lily added, rubbing Remus gently on his back and turning her own face away. Hermione couldn’t blame her, she was feeling a bit queasy herself.
“I think I need someone to scourigfy my eyes.” James mumbled, taking off his glasses and letting out a sigh as his eyes watered.
“Don’t be dramatic.” Sirius spat back into his pillow.
“Dramatic? Your arse is on show for everyone to see – put some clothes on or I’m not speaking to you.” James squeaked out as Sirius raised his head to glare at James, a small smirk forming on his face that had Hermione rolling her eyes.
She could have seen it coming before Sirius even muttered a small fine, a last way to annoy James by climbing out of bed and putting himself on full display, he looked at everyone but Hermione, hands on his hips and proud of what he clearly had to offer. Not that Hermione could blame him, her cheeks were bright red and her mind was drifting to places that she didn’t want to think of.
James spluttered out a few sentences that made no sense before he decided on shouting. “Sirius, for fucks sake – Evans, Hermione, close your eyes.” James reached her first, gripping her shoulders and turning her around to face Remus.
“I didn’t take you for someone to shave the downstairs banana.” Lily giggled, stumbling over her own feet as James did the same to her.
“Think about that area of me a lot, Evans?” Sirius responded, the sound of clothing being pulled on heard, and Hermione found herself slightly disappointed.
“She’s still drunk, clearly.” James hissed out, gripping Remus and moving him to lay down on his bed, who let out a sigh of content and closed his eyes.
“You can turn back around, I’m decent now.”
“No you are not.” James snapped but he looked anyway. “Dirty is what you are.” He added as he nodded for the girls to turn around. Though more covered than before, it wasn’t well covered, he was missing his top and his pants were a second from falling down his hips – it also wasn’t a sight that Hermione was angry about seeing.
“I think I’m going to throw up.” Remus choked out, James sent a look to Sirius who pursed his lips and rolled his eyes but moved to grab something from the corner of the room, a bucket, placing it before Remus head as it hung off the bed.
“And that’s my cue to leave.” Emmeline muttered, throwing the cover off – Hermione sighed, thanking that the girl had clearly dressed in their distraction. She threw a wink to Sirius who just smiled unsure and then she left with a smirk for Hermione.
“And here I thought you had standards.” Hermione smiled sweetly, holding the door as Emmeline passed through it.
“I do and Sirius -”
“I was talking to Sirius.” Hermione spoke sweetly again, slamming the door closed in the girls face as Lily cackled and then let out a sigh. They heard a shout through the wood, a stomping of a foot, followed by the telltale sounds of Emmeline storming off.
“Marlene is going to be sad she missed this.”
“What, Sirius’ arse?” James asked. “Or Emmeline – ew – Merlin I think they’ve actually made me go blind.” He shook his head as he tripped over something on the floor and landed on his own bed with a sigh.
Hermione grimaced as the sound of vomit hitting the bottom of the bucket was heard throughout the room, Remus gagging on whatever was coming out – the whole room seeming to go quiet as Sirius patted his back. Despite that fact, Remus clearly still had something to say on the subject. “Honestly, Pads, I thought you had more class than her.”
She wanted to believe that Sirius didn’t look at her for the sole reason that he was focused on Remus, but when his silver eyes flickered towards her direction and Lily and James seemed to both be staring at her, she knew what they were all thinking of and her heart ached slightly in her chest.
…
Hermione shifted nervously as she sat beside Zach, their quiet energy doing nothing to ease the sudden anxiety that seemed to have filled every bone in her body. They had had polite chat on their walk here, but now they were here she wasn’t actually sure what to do.
Her hands brushed over her skirt, reaching up to push the curly plait over her shoulder as she gulped and took a chance to look at him. He was attractive, in a kind soft way, and she would lying if she said that wasn’t the first reason she had wanted to get to know him but watching him concentrate on his school work seemed to work her up in some way too.
Maybe she was just hormonal and desperate to move on from the boy that seemed to light her on fire, but she wasn’t disappointed by the man before her.
His brown eyes looked up at her, a small smile on his face which quickly turned into a grimace. “Ah, I’m sorry, I said I would help you and here I am concentrating on my own stuff – sorry.” There was a slight Northern twang in his voice, adding to the deepness.
Hermione shook her head and smiled. “No, don’t worry – you have things to focus on and I’m sure my potions essay is pretty much complete -” And non- existent. “ - so yeah, don’t worry.” She finished lamely, dropping her quill beside her parchment full of random notes.
“Hm.” Zach answered, looking down at his own work and closing his book. “Are you hungry?” He asked as Hermione frowned, watching as he looked down at his watch.
“Sorry?”
“Maybe the library isn’t the best place to talk...and I do want to talk to you, so how about we get some lunch and have a little chat.” Hermione frowned and looked down at her own watch, lunch wouldn’t be too crowded and it would have a casual atmosphere that wouldn’t seem too forward.
“That sounds lovely.” He gave her a grin, packing his stuff in his bag and waiting for her to follow as he led them out of the library, his arm brushing hers.
The stayed quiet for a couple of floors, simply walking together like it was normal. Hermione couldn’t help but fidget with her hair again, one of her hands moving to brush off invisible lint from her top and open robes.
“Did I mention that you looked nice?” Zach asked her suddenly as Hermione stared up at him wide eyed, he didn’t look her up and down with half hooded eyes or offer her a leering smirk, but instead it was quick and honest and very much appreciated.
“Thank you – you too.” He grinned down at her as Hermione blushed. She could appreciate the green jumper that peaked out of his own robes – he seemed to lean more towards simple Muggle fashion that complimented him – unlike some who clashed all the colours of the rainbow together.
They carried on speaking as they neared the Great Hall, talking about school subjects and simple things – like James and his pranks to the small harmless gossip. The chatter continuing as they sat themselves down on an empty part of the table, reaching for food and filling up their cups.
“So tell me about Hermione Potter.”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve heard everything you need to know.”
“Some things, though I’m of the mindset that not every rumour is true.” Zach claimed, waving the sandwich in his hand around as he levelled her with a look. “You’ve had a harder life than most and people just see that as an opportunity to say whatever they want about you.” Her smile dropped slightly as she looked down at her plate.
“That they do.” This whole school was interested in the next big news and who it effected so they could spread it on with their lies and paint a picture that was false in every way.
“I mean I hardly believe you spend your days planning on how to steal every boy away.” Hermione glanced up as Zach smiled kindly but his eyes were full of amusement as Hermione gave him her best annoyed face.
“Not in the slightest.”
“Or that you and Lily are in a competition over who can get James.”
“Ew...no!” She answered disgusted – never in a million years. Despite the lack of blood, they were family and had been raised as siblings, they were siblings and she was never ever ever going to see him as anything else unless she wanted to part take in true incest.
“Or that the reason your hair is so big and curly is because it’s full of secrets.” He whispered the last part as Hermione let her disgust drop and an amused smile take it’s place.
“Wait, that’s a rumour?”
“See – everything everyone says is bullshit, I’d like to get to know the real Hermione, not the fake one everyone else sees.” He said it so earnestly that she couldn’t help but blush slightly and look away. How nice to have someone she barely knew take an interest in her – it made her inside warm slightly and her hands sweat.
“How about for every question you ask you also have to answer?” She grinned impishly as he gulped but nodded his head in agreement.
And so they spoke through bites of sandwiches and sips of pumpkin juice. Every question was answered, from James to Zach’s own siblings (older sister and brother), from being Pureblood to being Half-blood and the effect it had on family members that were out of the loop. They spoke about birthdays (August 1958) and events, to hobbies and friends.
It was friendly and calm. Her own friends were everything she had ever needed, all different and great for things, but she had forgot what it was like to reach out of a bubble and find other people to connect with. To gain something else that she hadn’t realised had been missing, to know that perhaps her friends were right.
“What is it you want to do when you leave?” Hermione asked, picking at her sandwich and leaning onto the table as Zach thoughtfully chewed.
“I always thought about being a teacher – though for the moment my dad has got me some assistant job lined up at the Ministry – not exactly what I wanted but it will do for the moment.” He answered with a tighter smile than usual and Hermione supposed he wasn’t ready to go into that with someone he had just actually met the day before. “And you?”
“I think everyone expects me to join James in becoming an Auror, but I always thought I would like to get into something with Magical beings and their unfair treatment in the Wizarding World.” Word vomit fell from her mouth and her eyes closed.
It wasn’t something she often blurted out, if twenty year from now nothing had changed then 20 years in the past wouldn’t be any better, but perhaps because they hadn’t stopped talking in the past hour and a half, her brain had decided it would be a good idea and judging by the shock on Zach’s face it wasn’t.
“Don’t you own a house-elf?” He asked with narrowed eyes as Hermione clicked her tongue and tensed her jaw.
“Yes but Poppy is very well cared for, she earns money and she has made a choice to stay with us.” Hermione bit back, her hands clenching and her eyes scanning for the best way to leave this situation. “I can’t say the same for house-elves in other pureblood houses.” Her nose tilted up slightly and she spotted Alice Prewett speaking to some friends.
Zach let out a laugh that had Hermione turning to face him. “Shit sorry – I didn’t mean to offend you, it’s just – well I never expected that to be what you wanted to do – I thought you were pulling my leg.” Her mouth opened but closed once he started talking again. “I’ve been telling my friends and family for years that their treatment is unfair – they all just nod their heads and go back to their own lives.” Her anger dropped and her eyes narrowed.
“You’re not just saying this to -”
“Put some kind of move on you?” Her head nodded and his smile dropped a bit. “I’d never do that – I actually agree with you.” His eyes bled honesty, every emotion swirling around and providing her with answers. “Of course, being a Potter, you’ve probably got more chance in making a difference but you can guarantee on having at least one supporter.” He grinned at her.
Hermione nodded her head and she smiled tensely. “I think in this case my name won’t do much for me, and considering who it and I are connected to – I’m not sure I want it to.”
Zach chewed on his sandwich thoughtfully, placing the crust back on his plate and rubbing his hands over the material of his robes, Hermione held her breath as she waited for him to answer or to get up and storm away at the reminder of her biological family.
“Just because we share blood with someone doesn’t mean they have any influence on us – your family are the Potter’s and James who have gone away from the Pureblood mania to support claims and rights of Muggleborns, Half-Bloods and modern rights – people would have to be stupid to see how you are more like them than anyone else you might be related to.” He spoke as though it was fact, crumbling a part of her walls she hadn’t realised she had kept up.
For someone who claimed she was fine, she hadn’t seen how much she might have needed to hear that, even if it was from someone who more of a stranger than a friend – from someone who was taking his time to see her as who she really was.
A small smile made its way to her face as he moved on from the subject, going on to tell her something about his family that had her chuckling and nodding her head – sharing her own stories about growing up with James.
…
Wednesday the 5th of November 1975
“Why am I only just finding out now that you had some kind of date with ‘The Zachary Townsend’ on Sunday!” Marlene all but shrieked as she flew herself into the seat opposite Hermione, who had her spoonful of oatmeal half way to her mouth.
“It wasn’t a date.”
“Is that his official name?” Lily asked, frowning at Marlene who was elbowing her side with her eager hands.
“Makes him sound like a Lord.” Remus added from Hermione’s side, a cheeky grin on his face that Hermione was tempted to smack off.
“And it would fit him if he was one...he’s like an intelligent gentleman and model all wrapped into one beautiful package.” Marlene sighed dramatically, craning her head backwards to look for him at the table, her legs kicking out and hitting Hermione’s.
“You’re too kind with your flattery, Mar.” Her whole body tensed as Sirius appeared on her other side, far too close and pushing her further into Remus, as James sat beside a frowning Lily, a crooked grin on his face and his eyes staring into her own.
“Not you, idiot – Zachary!” Marlene snapped back, slamming her hands on the table and glaring at Hermione.
“So you told her?” James chuckled, seeming happy that Lily hadn’t told him to get lost and put five feet of space between them. A win in his book no doubt, and one that seemed to make Lily’s cheeks even pinker than usual.
“No she didn’t, I had to hear it from Emmeline – who I can’t believe you slept with, that’s low, even for you.” Marlene spoke dryly, focusing on an uncomfortable Sirius for a few minutes before she turned back to Hermione. “And I heard this three days later, might I add!” Hermione cringed and shook her head, trying to move her arm away from where it was brushing Sirius’.
“It wasn’t a date, all we did was talk.” Hermione explained, her head dropping low as Remus reached up to touch a pink cheek and give her an impish grin.
“What is happening?” Sirius asked, Hermione could feel him looking at her but she refused to look back and instead focused on glaring at Remus, mouthing for him to stop as he nudged her with his elbow.
“Apparently Hermione and Zachary Townsend were all flirting at your party – and then they had lunch together on Sunday and spent hours talking and laughing!” Marlene cried, slapping her hand on the table again and sending some of Lily’s tea of the edge of her mug.
“Zach – but he doesn’t play Quidditch.” Sirius said shocked and lamely.
“If he did then no one else would stand a chance.”
“And imagine that being a factor in whether you date someone or not.” Lily spoke dryly, rolling her eyes as James’ mouth opened and closed like a fish. “Not that it’s any of our business anyway.” She added, sending a quick glare to Marlene who simply rolled her eyes.
“This is big news, Lil’, Hermione is breaking out of her shell and going after one of the fittest guys in our school – I’m proud of her.” Marlene claimed with a big grin, getting over being out the loop it seemed – not that she would tell anyone where she had been.
“I’m not going after him – we are just talking.”
“Fine, so where are you going to talk next and would you like some tips?” Marlene offered and for once she actually seemed like she wasn’t talking about anything sexual but instead trying to help Hermione with speaking to boys.
“Oh come on McKinnon, any tips you’re going to give her are just going to be about the best places to be fucked.” Sirius remarked and Hermione snuck a look at the boy, taking in his tense jaw and stern silver eyes.
“Believe or not Black but some of us are capable of actually offering advice and talking without putting our foots in our mouths like jealous, self-centred cunts.” Marlene spoke back sweetly as everyone on the table stared at her with wide eyes and open mouths, Hermione let out a small chuckle and bit her lip while Sirius nodded his head.
“Hm.”
“Anyway… be yourself – anyone who deserves you should be happy with the full Hermione Potter package, and anyone who doesn’t deserve you and made that choice should leave you alone.” Marlene added, though now looking away from Sirius, a smile curving on her face as she looked behind Hermione. “Good morning, Zachary.”
Hermione blinked, lifting up her head and turning around to see an amused Zach behind her, his eyes twinkling and mainly focused on her. “Good morning guys...morning Hermione.”
“Morning.” They all mumbled back like a group of Muggles in a Primary school.
“I was wondering if you had time to -”
“Yes, I do, let’s go.” Hermione didn’t give him chance to finish, she could see Sirius’ mouth open, James’ warning frown and the wide smirk on Marlene’s face – she knew what was going to come and there was no chance she was staying around to here it.
Zach didn’t seem to mind as she gripped his hand and pulled him away from the table, instead her squeezed the pale skin and offered her a knowing smile.
….
“...will be in your O.W.Ls, so follow the instructions carefully and the winner will get an exclusive to my next private party – since you all seemed to enjoy the Halloween ball so much.” Slughorn proclaimed, slapping his larger belly and letting out a laugh, like he couldn’t see the students rolling their eyes and slowly opening their textbooks as he waddled back to his desk.
Hermione sighed as she stared down at the recipe, not too complicated, but no doubt would be since Slughorn had placed her beside Remus to offer additional help to the boy who had a habit of melting cauldrons and burning hair. She loved him, he was her friend, but she would not be held responsible if she had to buy them both new equipment again.
“Pst.” No, she wasn’t going to look – not even if it meant she was pelted by small bits of parchment. “Come on Mi’!” Marlene hissed across the classroom and Hermione gave in.
The girl leant over her table on the other side of the room, Lily looking up curiously from her side, and grinned at Hermione, mouthing things to her far too fast to be understood before she settled on something easier to understand. What happened with Zach?
“Mind your own business.” Hermione whispered back as Slughorn chuckled loudly at something in a book he was reading – not that he would care that much if they were talking but she didn’t want to risk upsetting Snape, which would end up in a fight if he said something Jamie didn’t like.
“I am – tell me.” Marlene whispered back, pouting slightly.
“He walked me to class and we spoke, that’s it.” Hermione hissed and Marlene narrowed her eyes before she seemed to give in as Lily pulled her back and pointed to her potion which was overflowing.
“What the fuck?” Remus whispered from beside her, pulling Hermione’s attention away to focus on her table partner as he stared at his book in horror and then quickly looked to his potion which resembled nothing that it was supposed to.
Her mouth opened to say something and correct him on his error when the sound of whispering between her brother and Sirius behind her caught her ear, seeming to catch the werewolf’s also as he tilted his head to look at them and then turned to look at her.
“What are you even talking about?” James hissed lowly, stirring his potion but glaring at Sirius. “I thought this was over – you made sure of that.” He sounded harsher now, pissed off.
“Not that it’s any of your business but -”
“What do you mean none of my business?” James snapped, his voice raising. “It’s my… of course it’s my business when you can’t make up your fucking mind...and don’t add that unless you want your cauldron to explode!” Hermione sneaked a peak as James glared at Sirius who held a handful of something over his potion.
“Maybe I do.”
“Oh you do, do you?”
“Yeah...that’s my business!”
“Oh Merlin, you are so petty.”
“Oh I am, am I?”
“What the fuck are you too doing?” Hermione snapped as she spun around, placing her hands on their desk and glaring at the pair of them who stared back shocked. “Do whatever this is somewhere else!”
“No.” Sirius snapped back at her, James narrowing his eyes even further. “James has decided to be a complete arse and do this here, so we’ll do it here.” Sirius should have seen it coming, James drawing his wand and aiming it at Sirius.
“Don’t talk her like that!” Her brother snapped and Hermione rolled her eyes as Sirius opened his mouth to say something only for nothing to come out. “I’ll let you speak again when you stop being such a dick to her.” While it was sweet and she understood, and seemingly Sirius did too as his head dropped – she couldn’t help but lift the spell.
“See he’s a child.” What a mistake it turned out to be as Sirius continued.
“You’re the child.”
“People are staring.” Remus muttered to the three of them. Indeed students had turned their head curiously to find out what was happening between the two people who were closer than most friends and now seemed a second away from fighting.
“Well they can stop.” Sirius hissed, glaring at the students – though none of them listened to him and seemed to be more interested in whispering to one another.
“Or maybe you should.” James snapped, his voice dropping slightly. “You made your choice, now you have to deal with that and keep your opinions to yourself.” Sirius ran his tongue over his lip and sent a quick look to Hermione who blew out a breath.
Yeah, she wasn’t touching that with ten foot wand. Even if she knew what it was about, which she was pretty sure she did, there was no point hashing out things that were going to be dropped and left for the past.