The Biggest Sacrifice

It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them. – Confucius

August 1975

“What is happening here?” Hermione asked with wide eyes as she walked into the living room, Remus rolling on the floor in laughter as James and Sirius stopped their strangely good and provocative dancing to stare at her with nervous grins.

“We were dancing.”

“I can see that. Why?” Hermione asked dryly, raising her eyebrow to look between the boys who were smiling nervously at her while Remus chortled under his breath.

“We were showing Remus what he missed the other night.” Sirius spoke loudly, a grin on his face as he danced side to side. Whether she wanted to admit it out loud, the boy did not have two left feet like her brother, and she wouldn’t be surprised if ladies didn’t swoon over his moves.

“You two dancing like idiots?” Instead she asked, sticking her tongue out at James as he frowned at her. “Not unusual but when did that happen?” Now she was curious, as personally she never saw a place to dance other than at a ball or to the radio alone.

“When we went to that clu- ow!” Sirius doubled over as James’ hand hit into his stomach.

“You went to a club?”

“Look what you’ve done now, Padfoot.” James hissed, smiling nervously at Hermione’s raised brows and narrowed eyes. “It was more like a...something that wasn’t a club.” He winced at the end when she rolled her eyes and perched herself on the arm of the chair beside where Remus now sat.

“Was this something a place where people get drunk and grind up close together to overly loud music?” Hermione asked innocently, crossing her leg and placing her hands on her lap.

“Yes...no?”

“Glad I wasn’t invited.” Hermione said with a grin as both boys took a deep breath. “Just at least tell me it wasn’t disco.” She almost pleaded with them.

It had something of a shock to her, the day she walked into the Common Room to hear a couple of girls singing along to the Wizarding Radio, a popular disco song playing – her ears had all but bled at the noise. The surprise had been evident, and had stayed for months to come.

“Of course not!” Sirius snapped, his hand on his chest as he looked sick at the thought. “Who do you take us for?”

“Generally?” Hermione asked with a smirk on her face as both boys nodded at her. “Two boys who will take whatever they can get.” Remus slapped his knee as they stared at her with hurt and shocked expression.

“She’s got you both there.”

“Like you wouldn’t join them if you could.” Hermione turned amused to Remus as he smiled up at her, looking unaffected and a brightness that was rarely seen in his light green eyes.

“Girls in leather with tattoos and piercings all over their faces aren’t really my type.” Remus fought back and Hermione couldn’t help but smile. No but in a few years there will be a girl with pink hair with a strange sense of humour and two left feet that will steal your heart.

“No he prefers the more studious, cute looking girls.” Sirius spoke as Remus blushed and Hermione pursed her lips as Sirius sent her a wink. “Can’t say I really blame him.” He sauntered forward only to be pulled back by an annoyed James.

“You do realise you are related, right?” James asked, his voice but a hiss as he gestured to Hermione who was pushing Remus aside so she could sit beside him.

“Isn’t everybody?”

“You Blacks and wanting family members.”

“Mate, I can’t limit myself, Blacks are everywhere – I have to make some exceptions and as long as we aren’t first cousins then I can deal with it.” Sirius spoke but Hermione winced and rolled her eyes even if it felt like her cheeks were on fire. “Of course, your sister -”

“Is no longer interested in being the centre of your jokes simply to wind up James.” Hermione spoke dryly rolling her eyes as Sirius stared at her with a frown. “Frankly, it’s tiring and would only be considerable if you were sincere about it, so until that day comes, refrain from thinking or speaking of me like one of your fans.” His mouth opened as Hermione looked away and back to the letters in her lap.

“I wasn’t – wait…” Sirius frowned, his tongue rolling around in his mouth as he seemed to think over her words, despite that fact that his own seemed to be lacking at this moment, much to the amusement of his two friends.

“You’ve broke him.” Remus spoke out loud as James sat beside her feet with a smirk. She shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what she was actually waiting for Sirius to say – it wasn’t like he was going to declare his intentions or undying love and she didn’t want that.

“Good, then he can keep quiet while we read these.” Hermione said softer, a small smile making it’s way onto her face as she handed out the Hogwarts letters from her lap, that she had collected not five minutes ago, throwing Sirius’ onto the coffee table and leaving it there for when he regain his senses.

“Guys!” Marlene and Lily ran into the room, Marlene gesturing to Sirius who still stood in some state of shock. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Hermione basically told him to stop flirting with her unless he was being serious.” They all turned to look where Sirius was no glaring at the coffee table, clearly not having heard his usual entrance to his joke. “Though now I think he might be regretting his life choices.”

“Took him long enough.”

“Fuck off, Marlene.”

“And he’s back...Hogwarts letters?” Marlene asked, as Hermione nodded her head, handing the two girls their own letters, as Sirius moved to grab his own, before going back to her own with a frown, wincing as she heard Lily gasp.

It wasn’t like she had been expecting to be Prefect, for she knew it would be Lily this time, but a small part of her had hoped that she would be offered the duties again. Yet she couldn’t blame Dumbledore for giving them to Lily, when Hermione spent most of her time not seeming to pay attention and landing herself in detention.

Lily was the perfect student, so eager to please as Hermione Granger once had, seeming to feel that if she didn’t learn everything or take in everything that was told then she would be something of a let down and not worthy of her position. Truthfully it had only taken that part of Hermione coming to the past to realise that wasn’t the case.

“Congratulations, Lily.” Hermione whispered as Lily held up the badge, her mouth open in happy surprise. “You deserve it.”

“Yeah congrats, Evans, not entirely unexpected.” Sirius spoke, sending a wink to Lily who blushed and shrugged her shoulders, trying to push away Marlene who seemed determined to hug her to death. “Remus’ is though.” Everyone turned to see Remus holding up his own pin, a large P on the front of it.

“Oh Merlin, please tell me that isn’t real.”

“Shut up, Prongs, think of the pranks we could pull with Remus on the inside.”

“The inside of what?” James answered back a strange pout of his face as he turned to look at Sirius. “All he’s going to be doing is walking around at night.” Hermione had to bite back a laugh, it was the truth really, they didn’t do too much.

“Like a constant look out while we explore – this is what we need to finish the map.” Sirius whispered the last words to James as Remus rolled his eyes.

“What map?”

“Never you mind.”

“I will mind when it’s a risk to both mine and Remus new positions – just because we are somewhat friends now does not mean you will be getting away with all the stuff you normally do, right Remus?” Lily snapped back, sending a pointed look to Remus who grimaced and gave a single nod.

“You think we’re friends, Evans?” Sirius asked with wide eyes, as James frowned beside his best friend, staring at Lily like he had never seen her before in his life.

“Oh no.” Hermione muttered under her breath, letting her face fall onto her hands so she could peer through her fingers instead.

“Should have kept your mouth shut.” Marlene added, a smirk on her own face as she watched Sirius shake James’ shoulders, but her eyes were hard and her hands were clutching her letter tightly.

“Did you hear that, Jamie, Evans thinks we’re friends?” Sirius exclaimed, bouncing on his knees like a small child around Christmas presents as James let his frown fall and a small grin take over his face.

“I’ll take it, better than nothing.” Hermione lifted her head up and frowned at James, she had been expecting more, screaming, shouting, demanding that they just jump straight into being a couple instead but he seemed subdued, despite the wild glint in his eyes.

“What a joyous day, come here, we need to hug.” Sirius cried as Lily let out a small scream as Sirius practically threw himself onto her lap, his arms around her and his head resting on top of hers as she tried her best to move away from him.

“What is going on in here?” Euphemia exclaimed as she walked into the sitting room. “Sirius, let that poor girl go at once, honestly you would think you would learn some manners!” She snapped, clicking her fingers and waiting until Sirius pulled himself away from Lily with a cheeky grin.

“Sorry, Aunt Effie, I was just showing my new friend some love.” He cackled as Lily smacked his hands away from trying to hug her again before he elaborated. “Her and Remus are the new Prefects.”

“Really? Oh how exciting, congratulations to the both of you…oh I must make a celebratory meal, I’ll even invite round Andy, Ted and Dora to celebrate.” And just like that Euphemia’s annoyance was gone and she was instead directed into full excitement, her hands gripped together and her grin wider than ever.

“There’s no need for that Mrs Potter.”

“Oh hush now, of course there is.” Hermione smiled as her mother patted Remus’ head, effectively shutting him up. “Unless you would both like to spend it with your parents?”

“That’s fine Mrs Potter, I think my parents are enjoying having the house to themselves for a bit.” Before the next full moon hit and Remus was to go back home for a few days to prepare but no one who knew said anything.

“Actually, mine are on holiday with Petunia – it was suggested that I don’t contact them unless it was an emergency so I’ll tell them when they get home.” Lily added, her cheeks a pretty pink and her eyes focused on her letter instead of the frowns she was receiving.

“Your parents don’t want you to contact them?”

“Oh no, Petunia doesn’t – she isn’t the biggest supporter of who I am, no point making it worse by rubbing it in her face that I’m in a top position at my school.” Hermione let out a scoff, if Petunia was her sister then she would be rubbing her accomplishments and magic in her face every single day just out pure joy of the situation.

But Lily was different, kinder and softer – she all but hated her sister and loved her at the same time, never trying to step over the edge just so Petunia would feel better about herself.

“Well then it’s settled...I’ll go send an owl to Andromeda at once.” Euphemia spoke with a grin clapping her hands together and all but running out of the room, shouting for Poppy loudly as Lily turned worried eyes onto Hermione.

“Andromeda, your cousin?”

…

Hermione could not find it in her to wonder why Lily was so nervous about meeting Andromeda, they had interacted briefly during their year together at school but the woman hadn’t been round while Lily was staying with them. Still she couldn’t help but find the whole thing slightly amusing when Andromeda turned those dark eyes onto Lily and smirked.

“So you’re the girl who has been turning my Jamie down?” The woman looked Lily up and down, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow, looking every bit the haughty Black that she claimed she wasn’t.

“Oh...erm...yes...well...I didn’t realise he was your Jamie.”

“Of course he’s mine, he is my family.” Andy bit out, sending a wink to Hermione who rolled her eyes. “Would it change anything if he wasn’t?” Lily blinked, a frown appearing on her face as Marlene made a strange sound under her breath.

“Well...no?”

“Relax, kid, I’m only joking around – James deserves a little ego knock every now and then, and personally you seem far too good for him.” Andy winked as she leaned closer to Lily, like they were sharing a personal joke except Lily looked far too uncomfortable and put out at the whole interaction.

“Oh…”

“Andromeda, that is no way to introduce yourself.” Euphemia spoke, walking towards the kitchen with a basket of fruit under her arm and Poppy following behind her. “What will Lily think now?”

“Nonsense, Aunt Effie, I think Lily and I will be great friends, the two girls who turned down James Potter.” Andy grinned wolfishly, placing a gentle kiss on Euphemia’s cheek before turning back to Lily to tap the smaller girls arm. “Isn’t that right, Lily?”

“Yes?” Lily answered unsure, what the three women warily through wide eyes as though she was scared Euphemia or Hermione would scold her and Andy for daring to turn down James.

“Oh leave the poor girl alone...honestly people are going to think I’ve raised a group of illmannered children...now where is Dora?” Euphemia asked, hands on her hips as she frowned at the woman before her.

“It seems she is trying to pull out Sirius’ hair.” Hermione turned to look at where three year old Dora sat on Sirius’ lap on the stairs, her hands in his hair, pulling hard and laughing cheekily at his face when he winced.

“That should keep her entertained until dinner, make sure you keep her out of my kitchen, I fail every time she asks for a biscuit.” Euphemia claimed, a hand on her chest before she was on her way back to the kitchen and leaving the ‘children’ alone in the entry way.

“I can’t blame her there...anyway, who’s ready for a match?” Ted asked as he slapped his knees and grinned at the boys on the stairs while Marlene grinned cheekily.

“Always Tonks, I even talked Lily into playing.” Marlene spoke, turning to look at the redhead with what could only be described as a ‘shit-eating’ grin that made Hermione feel far too nervous and Lily gulp audibly.

“More blackmailed me into playing...I didn’t realise it would be today.” Lily mumbled, shuffling from foot to foot and sending another nervous glance to Andromeda.

“No take backs!” Marlene shouted, pointing a finger at Lily. “Hermione, you’re playing to.”

“I’d rather not, I have more important things to do...like plot the downfall of Octans.” Hermione spoke carefully, ignoring the sighs and the looks that were sent her way to inspect her nails for dirt.

“While I’m glad to see you can joke about that, I’m not taking no for an answer.” Marlene spoke hesitantly as Hermione looked up to smile deviously as she pulled her hair into ponytail.

“I’m not joking.”

“Of course not.”

“Mi’, let’s just go play – I won’t let you fall and neither will Remus.” James whispered, moving forward to pull on her hand and give her a pout that made him look about five despite the fact that he towered over her and had a couple of hairs on his chin.

“Remus? What about me?” Sirius cried loudly, chuckling when Dora laughed with him, clapping her hands together.

“He doesn’t try fondle my sister, though I doubt she’ll let you do that any more, and this way I can watch you be pelted by bludgers.” James cackled, turning to look at the Tonks’ as they raised their eyebrows. “Hermione basically told him to bugger off in the politest way possible.” Andy turned to look at Hermione with a confused frown, one Hermione avoided.

Great, Hermione thought, Andromeda was not going to leave this alone anytime soon, but she would be careful about where she asked, clearly waiting for an opportunity.

“Auntie Mimi?” Dora asked, breaking Hermione from her thoughts to look at the suddenly stern faced toddler frowning back at her. “You play Qu’itch.”

…

“Alright, so we are splitting into two teams, four on each...oh wait we need a ref...and someone to watch Dora – ah -” Ted stopped his pacing back and forth, his nervous air resurfacing as he looked at where his daughter sat on the back doorstep beside Hermione, smiling at the bubbles that Hermione was blowing beside her.

“Poppy?”

“Yes, Miss Andromeda?” Poppy asked as she appeared out of thin air with a crack.

“Would you be so kind as to call our fouls and referee with Nymphadora, please?” Andy asked with a soft smile, gesturing to the child who was now staring at Poppy with a grin, hands already reaching forward for the old elf to come to her.

“I would be honoured.” Poppy choked out, her hand on her chest as though she had just been given the biggest compliment in her life.

Hermione and James rolled their eyes, while Hermione might not have been with the Potters since she was a baby, it didn’t stop Poppy from doting on her like she was one, taking it upon herself to bake for the children, tuck them into bed and tell them stories. Poppy’s love of babies and young children was something that never changed.

“There, sorted, continue Ted.” Andy commanded, clapping her hands together as Poppy and Dora stood together, not that much size difference between them, and walked closer to the group.

“So we will be limited to one player for each position – James and Marlene are chasers, myself and Dromeda are keepers, Remus and Sirius are beaters, which means the lovely Hermione and Lily will be chasers.” Ted spoke, declaring for all to hear.

The teams were sorted after that, James, Andy, Hermione and Remus on one side, Ted, Sirius, Marlene and Lily on the other side. A fake pitch with small hoops before the trees and James’ old Quidditch ball set were thrown into the sky by Poppy and Dora and then the teams were off.

Hermione frowned as she flew higher than the rest, glad to be out of the action that seemed to be taking place with Andy and Ted both leaving their posts to join their chasers while Sirius and Remus seemed more content to try and hit each other.

“Why did we even join in this game?” Lily asked as she wobbled beside Hermione, who could remember a time she feared being on a broom or anywhere in the air, long before she joined James and his incessant need to drag her into his games.

“Everyone needs a seeker.”

“I meant to ask, why did...Andromeda called James hers...her family?”

Hermione couldn’t help the smirk. “He is through me, I suppose, Andy has spent more time here than her own home – she even has her own bedroom.” Hermione pointed to the corner of one house, her other hand gripped her broom tightly as Lily wobbled in her attempt to turn around and see only to give up.

“But she made it seem like…?” Her mouth was pinched and her cheek tinged a rosy pink that almost made Hermione laugh.

“Like it was more?” Hermione spoke dryly, raising her eyebrow and ducking her head as the Quaffle was thrown towards them. “Don’t worry though Andy isn’t after James, more like James has had a crush on Andy since he was like nine, and she likes to remind everyone of that fact.” Hermione explained lowly as James shot past them.

“I wasn’t worried.”

“Sure you weren’t.” Hermione’s grin fell as Andromeda swooped in beside her, knocking her broom slightly and giving her a wicked grin that made her frown and Lily shiver. “You know you’re supposed to be guarding our goals, right?”

“James and Remus have everything covered, and their seeker is gossiping with you.” Andy explained as she pointed out to where James seemed to have taken every single roll on their team and was doing quite well if his grin was anything to go by. “So what happened?”

“With what?”

“I think she’s asking about you and Sirius.”

“There is no Sirius and me.” Hermione hissed out as Lily blushed, shrugged her shoulders and took off, leaving the the two cousins alone to talk in the sky.

“Clearly not after today.” Andromeda remarked, lifting one hand away from her broom to brush away a stray hair from her messy ponytail without even a waver of her broom. “So what did you say to make my cousin look like you stole his pumpkin pastries?” As if to prove her point, she nodded towards Sirius who looked like he had swallowed a lemon.

“Nothing.” Hermione answered quickly, letting out a sigh as Andy gave her a look. “I just said that he should stop flirting with me to annoy James, or talking about me in certain ways.”

“Right...and where did that come from?” Andy asked as Hermione frowned. “I’m not saying that you did anything wrong, but he’s basically flirted with anything that moves since he was two so -”

“That’s my point, sometimes I don’t even think he knows what he’s saying but lately this summer, it seems like...like it’s too much.” She didn’t have the words to explain how every little comment stuck in her mind and did odd things to her stomach. “I’m supposed to be his friend, and I’m aware that 80% of what comes out of his mouth is a crude comment, but he doesn’t speak like that to Lily and Marlene.” Unless it was an obvious comment but even then it wasn’t a reflex like it seemed to be with her.

“Because they aren’t you.” As if that answered anything, it just made Hermione frown at the older woman. “He says things because he’s stupid and he’s been allowed to get away with it, and you don’t want him to speak like that about you any more because you want to be seen as more than just another girl to him.” It was spoken like a fact, one that had Hermione’s cheeks turning red.

“That’s not -”

“Both of you will realise one day, but for now, you just concentrate on what you want and don’t let anyone, not even handsome and stupid idiots, make you think you deserve different.” It was said softer, a hand reaching out to lay on hers. “That being said, don’t give up on him just yet.” She winked and flew down the pitch, leaving Hermione alone with her confusing thoughts.

...

“You cheated.”

“We didn’t cheat, cousin, you just aren’t very good.”

“I would imagine getting hit round the head with own bat would do that to someone.” Sirius barked out, turning to glare at Remus as he held up his fingers rudely in his friends face. “Twice.”

Hermione watched Sirius from under her lashes, as she listened distantly to the bickering between him, Andy and Remus continue, her cousins words playing in her mind and her stomach once again clenching uncomfortably like it had a thousand angry dragons fluttering around inside it.

Butterflies had once been a term that she was more familiar with and something that just couldn’t be used to describe the effect Sirius was clearly having on her. An effect she still couldn’t quite understand or even name. It wasn’t like because half of the time she wasn’t even sure she liked him, but it was something.

She was aware that he was attractive, even at nearly sixteen, more so than anyone else she had known in her life that it was actually quite unfair, with his dazzling grin and unnatural eyes – to describe him as pretty would be far too basic for a manchild like Sirius but it often came to mind when he smiled at her and reminded her of why so many girls chased after him.

It was often followed by the reminder of his arrogance and complete knowledge of how he looked that made Hermione roll her eyes and remind her of her teenage mind in all it’s hormonal glory. Pretty looks were not enough to win her over and push her past the point of having a full blown crush on him.

And yet there were some days where she would sit thinking to herself about what it would be like to indulge him, to see if his lips were really as soft as they felt or if the rumours that whispered around Hogwarts were true. So no it was not like, but perhaps misguided lust that came from lack of romance in her life.

“...I’m just surprised Lily caught the snitch, I’ve never seen someone fly worse than Hermione.” And just like that she was brought back into the conversation, her eyes narrowing as he sent a wary grin her way.

“Trying to deflect, Black?”

“Obviously...though I mean look, even Dora can do better.” Sirius gestured to where Ted and James both stood beside Dora on her little child’s broom, floating two feet above the air with a serious expression on her face, her hair matching her mothers.

“Shut up – I did my best, just the whole idea of floating on a stick isn’t natural.” Lily gestured to the broomstick which was resting on the grass between her and Hermione, long forgotten about and looking a bit worse for wear after it had all but crashed into the floor once the snitch was caught.

“And yet you’ll get in one of those giant metal birds?” Sirius asked, flapping his hands around in an impression of a bird.

“An aeroplane?” Lily asked as Sirius nodded his head and let out a quiet thank you. “They have walls and safety features, unlike this.” She picked up the broom before placing it back on the ground with a grimace.

“Well we have wands and we can cast cushioning charms if you fall.”

“Maybe I’ll just watch you do that from the sides next time.”

“Your loss.”

“I think I’ll be joining Lily next time.” Hermione added to stop their bickering, leaning back onto her hands and turning to look at Andy. “When did you relent and get Dora a broom?”

“Your brother got into Ted’s head that Dora will be the next Gryffindor chaser and needs to start her training earlier.” Andy spoke, letting out a sigh as the sun vanished behind the clouds once more. “I’m fine with the training but Gryffindor is where I draw the line.” Her smile turned cheeky and her eyes glinted.

“Personally I always saw Dora heading into Hufflepuff.” Andy tilted her head and pouted out her bottom lip as she stared at her daughter as though to see if Hermione was right.

“As if, look at who she is surrounded by.” Sirius scoffed out, gesturing to the group.

“Her Slytherin mother and Hufflepuff father?” Lily pointed out, raising an eyebrow and turning to look back at where Ted was laughing as James all but ran around after Dora on her slow broom.

“Us.”

“Yes because I believe your habit for valuing reckless bravery above everything else is going to rub off on her.” Andy commented sarcastically as Sirius glared at his cousin.

Hermione tuned out as they bickered between them, more interested in watching her brother with his own crooked grin as Dora escaped his grasp once again. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was how he would be with Harry, chasing after his son with pure joy.

She also wondered if this is how Dora was before, flying on a broom, surrounded by a strange family that doted on her far too much or if it had just been her, Andy and Ted.

Obviously they wouldn’t have had the Potter’s as much in their pockets, Hermione had caused that bridge between them, offered a place to stay and a family to call her own. By the time Sirius was at school, Andy would have been getting ready to run off and as far as Hermione gathered, Andy and Sirius only saw each other a couple of times after that.

Perhaps things had been changed now, making the Tonks’ feel safer but Hermione was certain of one thing – Dora would forever remain the clumsy girl with a big heart, that much was clear as she managed to wobbled off her broom and into her fathers waiting arms.

“Sirius, trust me on this – Dora will be a Hufflepuff, in fact I am so certain, I bet you fifty galleons that come the 1^st of September 1984 she will be sorted with the badgers.” Hermione spoke, a lopsided grin on her face as the boy looked at her with narrowed eyes.

“Profiting from friends, how very Slytherin of you – I would also like to take that bet, though while I believe she will be sorted in Hufflepuff, I will also add that she will be a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Slytherin.” Andromeda added, a sly grin on her face as she held out her hand to Hermione, who happily shook it.

“Right...you’re on, but prepared to hand over your money when it turns out she’s a Gryffindor.” Sirius spoke after a second, only reaching to shake Andy’s hand as Hermione kept hers under her chin.

“What’s the odds she turns out a Slytherin?” Lily asked after a second, a thoughtful frown on her face and blush on her cheeks as James threw a giggling Dora into the air only to catch her a second later.

Interesting. Hermione thought, keeping her comments and sly smile to herself and mentally preparing to ask them at a later date when they were both alone and away from Sirius’ inability to keep anything a secret.

“More likely than Gryffindor.”

“Moony!”

“What? I’m going on 40% chance either way she’s either Hufflepuff or Slytherin.” Remus explained, shifting uncomfortably as Andy nodded her head approvingly. “10% each for both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.” He added after second thought.

“Low odds.” Lily remarked dryly before turning to grin at Sirius. “I’m going with Hermione.”

“Then I am going against the status quo and saying Ravenclaw, but I’m only betting a single galleon.” Marlene spoke, her whole body tensed and and her eyes even colder than usual.

“What are you lot doing?” Ted asked with a frown.

“Betting on the house your daughter will be in.” Sirius spoke with a shrug of his shoulders. “Hermione and Lily say Hufflepuff, me and James say Gryffindor, Remus is between Slytherin and Hufflepuff and Marlene has said Ravenclaw.” Sirius explained with a sigh, glaring at everyone who had dared to go against him.

“What did you say, my love?”

“Hufflepuff, but Slytherin hat stall.”

“Well then I go with my wife.” Ted spoke, kissing his wife’s cheek and sitting beside her. Hermione couldn’t help but blush as she watched them, a couple so in love that it seemed natural for Andy to curl into Ted’s side, his arm around her shoulder and his lips moving to press a kiss into her hair.

“Isn’t that a betrayal to your own house though Andy?” Marlene asked, stretching out her legs and leaning back to rest on the grass.

“Just because she’s a Hufflepuff, doesn’t mean she won’t cause the havoc of a Slytherin, she is also my daughter just in nicer packaging.”

“I think your packaging is pretty nice, Andy.” James leered, jumping when a red spark hit him in his arm, his lip coming out in a pout as he turned to look at the culprit. “Ow Ted.”

“James, you’re too young and immature, we’ve been over this.” Andromeda spoke, though she didn’t seem annoyed, but rather amused by the situation.

“Not to mention you’re married and almost like his older sister.” Sirius complained, throwing James a look of disgust as his best friend just rolled his eyes before Sirius was grinning at him. “Mate, go for girls your own age.” His silver eyes flickered to where Lily and Marlene were sat.

Hermione watched with a frown as James’ cheeks turned red. “Because you’re one to talk.” Sirius just shrugged his shoulders and laughed but there was a hard edge to it.

“I am trying, mate.”

…

Monday the 18^th of August 1975

Hermione frowned down at the paper before her that was spread on the table, she had been looking for updates about Octans but none had come. Instead something else stood out.

Late last night an Auror arrest took place for Mr Parker Pettigrew, who was charged with attacking a Muggle close to his home. When asked what provoked such an attack, Mr Pettigrew simply sneered and declined to answer, but rumour has circulated to claim that Parker has been involved in other attacks claimed by the followers of You-Know-Who. As for now we have no answer, but hopefully when the trail takes place we will get the answers we are looking for. - Dehliah Cratford.

It wasn’t the opening she had been looking for, rather the opposite and it frustrated her further. In both her lives she knew nothing at the Pettigrew’s at all – only that Peter was a rat who would betray his friends.

Sure she had heard stories, ones about how weak he had seemed, eager for power and how he spent his time ‘looking after his sick mum’ but there was nothing else after that. Nothing for her to compare to the news article before her – she couldn’t know if Peter had been raised like this or whether somehow this was her doing.

A sigh left her mouth, changing the future wasn’t easy, one could never predicate every single move and it wasn’t like she could out Peter without outing herself so instead she had planted seeds of doubt that seemed to spring to life in Sirius and die inside her loyal brother.

The door opened, allowing for Remus to enter, his light green eyes scanning the library for her and his smile breaking out into an easy grin that seemed slightly pained when he finally saw her.

Like a soothing balm to her broken soul, he made her feel slightly lighter, a truly calming presence if she had ever known one – even if they weren’t as close as she had once thought they would be, still a good friend if she ever needed one.

“I thought I would find you up here.”

“You know me so well.”

“Great minds think alike.” He grinned as he tapped his head before jutting out his chin to the paper on the table. “What are you reading?”

“Peter’s father was arrested last night.” There was no point mincing her words or tip-toeing around the subject when Remus had always been a man who valued honesty, especially considering he spent most of his days lying to everyone about who a part of him was.

“Oh...yeah, your dad told us when he got home, thought we deserved to know.” Hermione’s jaw clicked and Remus sat beside her. Clearly she wasn’t important enough to be told, once again.

Instead of letting her ire show, she placed a concerned frown on her face and shifted her whole body to face Remus as her hands fell on her lap. “Have you heard from Peter, I imagine he will be quite upset about this?”

“No, nothing – I sent him an owl last night – he hasn’t even…”

“Sirius and James said they’ve heard nothing all summer.” Hermione mumbled, tilting her head to the side. “Do you think something’s wrong?”

“I think something isn’t right.” Remus responded, his eyes narrowing and his own jaw tensing. “I know what you and Sirius have been saying to each other, well before you started avoiding each other like the plague.” His eyes turned to look at her pointedly but she tensed her jaw and turned away.

They hadn’t been avoiding each other, more like avoiding any awkward potential conversation that could be had from her all but admitting she might consider something more and him keeping his flirty comments to himself, like she had asked.

It was like they were in some strange limbo, dancing around something that neither seemed to want to admit, even if they had no clue what it was. Still, Hermione missed her friend, even if he was only a few rooms away with her brother.

Remus let out a small cough, bringing Hermione back to the real thing they were talking about. Peter. “And you think we’re wrong about?” She wanted to shouted that she wasn’t, that she had proof of what happened before but the words remained lodged in her throat.

“Maybe...I think, like James, that we should trust our friends until they prove otherwise, and I don’t want to think that Peter is...well that he isn’t who he says he is.” Remus spoke, his voice more controlled and his eyes flashing with bits of gold.

The whole group of them were loyal to a fault, even when they didn’t want to be. They trusted who the knew instead of knowing who to trust and ignored everyone else telling them to not be so blind – they ignored Hermione, who was smarter than all three of them.

Even Sirius who had agreed with Hermione, still seemed unsure at parts – still seemed ready to believe whatever excuse would fall out of Peter’s mouth.

“Then I think both you and James are kind of stupid.” It was harsh and she knew that by the way hurt flashed over his face but she didn’t care.

“You don’t need to be rude, I know you don’t like Peter but…”

“It’s more than don’t like – there are some many signs that he is sneaky and manipulative and yet you all ignore them – did you forget his whole thing with the Slytherins?” Hermione spat out, glaring at him now. “You claim you trust him and yet you’ve never thought to bring him into the fold about what you are and what your friends are doing for you.”

A nerve had been struck, raw and personal. It made Remus’ face as hard as stone and his eyes flash dangerously, she should have known not to aggravate him this close to the full moon but she couldn’t find it in her to care.

When would they all realise that she was just doing what needed to be done? That edging Peter out the picture would keep them as safe as they could be, that her mistrust came from a good place and she wasn’t just doing it to be a bitch to the boy.

“That’s different, I just didn’t want to put that on Pete – he means well but he can’t keep his mouth shut.” He didn’t mean well in the slightest, this wasn’t a time where people could be playing both sides of the war and expect people to turn a blind eye to it.

“No Sirius can’t keep his mouth shut and yet you trust him, Peter goes around spilling secrets because he knows it will get him something.” Hermione told him and he flinched again.

“I think you are being a bit unfair.”

“Make him take an unbreakable vow.” Remus winced, opening his mouth to speak. “And you’ve just proven my point, you don’t trust him for whatever reason but you just don’t want to admit it, like the rest of them.” His mouth closed and his eyes turned downcast.

Hermione didn’t add more, there was nothing else that could be said at this moment in time, so instead she settled for reaching for another book and flipping it open to a random page, eyes scanning over the words she actually held no interest in reading.

Remus stayed silent, eyes full of sadness and skin paler than usual, though that part could have been because of the approaching moon, still her heart ached for him as she reached out a hand to hold his own. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a bitch, it’s just that -”

“I don’t trust him.”

“I know.”

“But it’s not because of his father or the people he hangs around or even the fact he barely spoke to us in the past year but because the wolf doesn’t.” His hand squeezed her own and his eyes focused on hers as she offered him a weak smile.

“Smart wolf.” A chuckle left her mouth. “I’d trust that part of you, animal instincts are often known to be better than humans – perhaps we should ask Sirius and James to conduct a test.” It was an attempt at humour that had the corners of their mouths turning up.

“Why you don’t you trust him?” And just like that it was back to frowns and friends who would betray them.

“Sorry?”

“Since you met him you’ve all but hated him...why?” He was eager for an answer, that much was clear – so desperate to learn why someone else couldn’t trust his friend.

Hermione sucked in breath, her tongue running over her lips as she thought about his question. What she could she even say? ‘She didn’t trust him because of the future and everything he did, but she didn’t even know why he did what he did.’ Things were different now and in all honesty she had never given Peter the benefit of the doubt.

And he proven, at least to her, that he didn’t deserve it. He was sneaky and everything she had ever thought him to be. But she knew that wouldn’t satisfy Remus.

“I...er...I don’t know.” Hermione began, ignoring the look he gave her. “Or I didn’t know in the beginning, but everything from the sneaking off, the Slytherins and that eager look he gets in his eyes...well it just put me off.” It was the best she could do and he seemed to accept it as he nodded his head.

His hand squeezed hers again and he offered what could be described as a Remus smile – pained from the moon and tinged with a bit of self-loathing but free from judgement and anger.

He didn’t hate her because of what she thought, even if he wanted to disagree with it, even if it hurt him. She had always admired that about him, the lack of judgemental and petty bones in his body, the kindness he tried to live his life with.

And for a moment she was angry with herself that she had tried to put him through this, that she had pushed until he confessed. Now, she wanted nothing more than to offer him a long hug, brush the stray shaggy dusty blond hair from his beautiful green eyes and place a genuine smile on his face that was push away all the hurt.

“Am I interrupting something here?”

Hermione jumped, her head all but spinning around to see Sirius stood at the end of the table, his eyes focused on the pair of hands that were slowly slipping away from each other and the two people who were leaning back in their chairs.

Remus’ cheeks had turned a pretty shade of pink and Hermione just felt confused about the whole situation as she stared at Sirius. Tall, handsome and trying hard not to be a Black in as many ways as he could, with his Pink Floyd t-shirt and jeans that looked like they hadn’t been washed in days to the anger in his silver eyes.

Her stomach clenched as she all but stared and her cheeks felt ten times hotter, she could see Remus watched her with a small smirk as he no doubt probably could hear her heart beating faster than was normal.

“Well?” Like a dog, Sirius did not like to be ignored.

“We were just discussing Peter.” Remus explained carefully as Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and waited for whatever male thing was happening between the two boys to stop.

“And what? You were scared he could hear you so you decided to practically sit on each other?” Was he jealous? Her jaw tensed and her eyes narrowed but he all but ignored that she was there.

“Don’t be a dick Padfoot.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know any other way.”

“What is going on in here?” And suddenly James was there, looking much more put together and clean than Sirius did except for the hair that seemed extra messy today. “I can feel the tension from the bottom of the stairs.” He eyed all three of them carefully.

“Your sister and Moony looked like they were about to snog, don’t worry though Prongs, I think my appearance stopped it.” Sirius spat out as James’ eyes turned wide and he looked between Remus and Hermione with narrowed eyes.

“Please if I wanted to snog Remus then I would, and no one’s presence would stop it.” Hermione bit back as Sirius’ jaw ticked and Remus’ cheeks turned deep red – James looked both amused and disgusted as he sent a wary look to Sirius.

Honestly she didn’t understand boys, it wasn’t like any of them had any claim on her in the slightest – sure James was her brother but if she wanted to kiss someone, whether it was Remus or even Sirius, then she was allowed to do that. It’s not like anyone had stopped her from the little snog she had had with some seventh year Ravenclaw last year.

But clearly something was happening because Sirius looked a second away from having a tantrum over something that didn’t involve him, unless he was willing to admit some things, and Remus looked like Lily’s hair.

She cleared her throat and grimaced as she spoke. “Actually, we were talking about Peter and how he hasn’t owled you since school ended, and the fact that his father was arrested last night.”

“That makes more sense.” James said, sending a wide eyed look to Hermione as Sirius glared at her. “And I’ve been thinking about that all day – I think we should go check on him.” He turned away from her, drawing the attention of his best friend back to him.

“What?”

“Something could be wrong and we’d be pretty shitty friends not to make sure he isn’t okay after last night.” Ever the white knight ready to save everyone he could, even if they didn’t want or need to be saved.

“Right – but how will we even get over there?” Hermione asked, gritting her teeth as the three boys turned to look at her with frowns.

“Wait, we?” James asked with a laugh as he shook his head. “No, no, no, Mi’, you are not coming.” Sirius opened his mouth and then seemed to think better of it as it shut with an audibly snap.

“Of course I am.”

“Why do you even want to come? You hate him!”

“Hate is a strong word.” Hermione tried to get through her teeth even if he was right, that didn’t matter right now. “I’m coming too, Jamie.” She was not about to let her brother walk into a stupid situation that he wasn’t prepared for.

“But -”

“If you three are Maraudering around then I am joining in.” A smile made it’s way to her face as the three boys turned to look at her with wide eyes, turning to look at each other as if to see who had said something only to come up blank.

“Does this mean we can all wear matching leather jackets?” Sirius finally spoke but the joking tone in his voice was as flat as a piece of paper.

“Maybe…” Hermione answered, trying for humour again as she grinned. “I do like leather.” She smirked as Sirius raised his eyebrows approvingly and seemed to mumble something under his breath that got him a smack to the stomach from Remus.

“How did you know about that name?”

…

Hermione let out a hiss as she landed harshly in the middle of nowhere. She hadn’t apparated in a few months and each time reminded her of how she was no longer used to the action, even less so when it was by an elf with three other people tagging along.

“Why couldn’t we just use the floo?” She complained, rolling her ankles and dusting off her skirt.

“Peter doesn’t have a floo.” James answered quietly, looking around with a frown. It was quite a pretty area they had landed in, tall trees and countryside pretty much all around them, though the smell of animals not too far away had her nose scrunching up.

“Mister or Missus will call for Poppy when they are ready to come home.”

“Of course, Poppy, thank you for bringing us.” Hermione smiled down at the elf, nodding her head as Poppy grinned back at her before she vanished with a loud crack.

“This way.” James began, leading the group forward with Hermione and Remus following on and Sirius trailing behind them slowly.

“What is his problem?” Hermione whispered to Remus, looking over her shoulder at Sirius who was glaring at the ground and stomping his feet like a small child. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the sight and nor was she in any mood to deal with his behaviour right now.

“Erm...I think he thinks something was happening and that we didn’t tell him.” Remus whispered back, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

“What a child and that still doesn’t explain why he’s angry.” Hermione hissed back, crossing her arms over her chest and ignoring the voice in her head that kept trying to talk her into something that was not true in the slightest.

“Don’t play dumb Mi’, you know it does – maybe you should just speak to him.” Remus spoke again, a knowing smile on his face as he moved forward on his long legs to walk beside James, leaving Hermione alone to stare after him with an open mouth.

Why did everything seem to assume she knew what they were talking about?

Like they could speak to her in condescending tones and soft gentle words that would just magically place everything they knew into her head and give her the answers. Perhaps they could spend their time better telling her what they knew that she clearly didn’t. Or maybe they just assumed she would get it eventually.

She was half tempted to ask Sirius if he had any clue when he appeared at her side, her arms crossing over her chest and her eyes staring ahead as she contemplated her options before opening her mouth and settling for asking the least argumentative choice. “I didn’t expect Peter to live in a manor.”

“He doesn’t.”

“Then -”

“Not his.”

“Well what an enlightening conversation, I almost feel like you aren’t annoyed about something at all.” Her eyes narrowed at him when he refused to look at her and focused on their friends ahead who seemed to be having some deep conversation before them.

“I’m not.”

“Sure because usually you can’t keep your mouth shut and now you’re barely saying two words.” His jaw tensed further as Hermione glared at his silence. “Though I suppose this is the most we’ve spoken in two weeks.”

His silver eyes turned to look at her, making her catch her breath for a second. “Whose fault is that?” Hermione let out a small laugh and shook her head as he looked forward again and rolled back his shoulders. “Maybe I just don’t want my friend to be annoyed at me for speaking to his girl.” Sometimes, it seemed, he was more stupid than he looked.

“Your assumptions are astounding and annoying, you know full well that I am not Remus’ or anybody else’s girl.” His eyes narrowed further but Hermione just offered him an annoyed smile.

“Yeah, because friends sit that close.”

“And that comes from the boy who has both slept in my bed and spends his time with his arm around me.” Hermione spoke dryly, his cheeks turning red as she raised her eyebrows and her grin turned wider.”You seem to forget that when it’s convenient to you – Remus is just my friend and you know that, so what is your issue?” She waited patiently, tapping her foot on the floor as he stopped to face her with a wry smile.

“No issue, it’s just surprising.”

“What does that mean?”

“Come on Hermione, the closest thing you’ve ever had to a relationship is the library – though I suppose in your defence it’s hard to get out there when the only people who have asked you out are Diggory and McLaggen – makes sense why you would go after a friend.” He winced as soon as he said it but Hermione couldn’t hide the unexpected hurt she felt.

Now Hermione knew she wasn’t ugly, different perhaps with her features seeming to clash with one another so that they all stood out at once, with her porcelain skin, jet black curls and dark chocolate eyes. But she had never thought that Sirius would make her feel like she wasn’t someone to be desired like the girls he went after or even Marlene who was basically sex on a stick.

“Wow.”

“Wait – I – Hermione, I didn’t mean it -”

“I’m not going after Remus.” Hermione cuts him off before he can get his half-arsed apology out, holding up her hand. “Not that it has anything to do with you anyway, but thanks for making me seem so unwanted by the whole male population of our school.” She didn’t wait for him to answer as she turned on her heel and stormed after James and Remus in the distance.

“Hermione, that’s wasn’t what I was trying to say but at the same time someone has to be honest with you.” Her hands threw up in the air but Sirius rushed to finish his sentence as he walked beside her. “While you’re incredibly...pretty...you spend most of your time acting uninterested and far too intimidating for anyone to even consider asking you out and -”

“And you are completely unaware of the hole you seem content to be digging yourself into so how about I be honest and help you out by telling that you’re being a fucking dick right now – I mean what is your problem?” Hermione snapped, ignoring the couple of older women they walked past who watched them with shocked expressions and mumbled words.

“There’s no problem, I just don’t think it would hurt if you wanted to try a bit more.” He regretted the moment it came out of his mouth and she knew that but it didn’t stop the anger that was boiling in her blood.

“Try a bit more? What would you have me do? Get my tits out like half of the brainless bimbos that follow you around? Spread my legs for idiots like you?” He seemed shocked with hostility, his silver eyes wide and filled with something that she didn’t even want to name right now. “You know if that’s what it takes to get a boyfriend or even be friends with someone like you then I’m not that fucking bothered.”

“Oh of course, just storm off and don’t listen to a word I’m actually saying.” He snapped as he followed after her but she ignored him, standing herself between James and Remus as they came to a stop in front of a house.

It was an old English house, with grey/yellow stone, often found in the country, a thin fence cutting it off from the old stone road and a garden at the front with the trees to the local forest behind the house. But it was small and despite it’s beauty, it seemed a bit run down, with the flowers in the garden dead and the roof looking like it had a couple of leaks.

“Pete!”

“Shut up, James.” Hermione snapped at her brother as he turned to face her with wide eyes. “Have some manners and knock.” His mouth opened in understanding as Hermione, stony faced, turned to the other two boys. “Does Mrs Pettigrew normally leave her garden so… decrepit?” She gestured the garden they now stood in.

“I think we established that I don’t pay attention.” Sirius spoke dryly as Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Hermione’s got a point, the whole house looks abandoned.” Remus spoke, moving slowly to stand between them both as though he thought they were going to have another argument, Hermione was offended, she was done arguing with the boy who couldn’t think before he spoke.

“Something isn’t right.” James mumbled, the three turning to see him as he gently pushed open the door and looked inside, gesturing with his other hand for the to follow him inside.

The house felt emptier than it looked, with an obvious sign that no one had really cleaned or possibly lived there for a good couple of months, as everything had a coat of dust settled on top of it except for the few old footprints on the wooden floor – probably from Mr Pettigrew the night before.

The kitchen was empty of any food and the living room had nothing but a couple of sofas and a large fireplace, Hermione moved closer towards it, picking up the pot on the mantel and looking inside at the leftover green powder. “I thought Peter didn’t have a floo?” She asked James as he followed her.

“Don’t know why he would lie about that.”

“Maybe he didn’t want you turning up unexpected.” Hermione muttered, giving him a pointed look as he sighed as moved towards the window that looked into the back garden.

“Maybe.” He answered back before he turned to frown at her, looking at the old watch on his wrist and shaking his head. “Where could he be at 2 in the afternoon?”

“Meeting with his snake friends.”

“Shut up.”

“He’s clearly not here.” Her voice carried through the house as she left him alone, following the footprints into a little room that no doubt belonged to Peter.

It was quite simple, a bed pushed against the wall with a desk opposite it and a small wardrobe at the end of the room, a soft grey carpet and light blue walls. The bed wasn’t made, it’s sheets thrown around and a few leftover pieces of parchment littered the desk, Hermione moved closer, recognising the writing of Peter and frowned.

“What’s that?” Remus was beside her, frowning over her shoulder and staring down at the parchment in her hand.

“Looks like a list of random nonsense to me.” Hermione sighed, passing it over to his waiting hand and giving him a soft smile as she sat down on the bed and waved the dust away from her mouth. “Perhaps you can figure it out.”

“You alright?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Her voice had taken on the tone that she often used to speak to the ladies her mother sometimes had at their house dinner, proper and as fake as she could possibly be, only lacking the bright smile she usually gave too.

“Because Sirius is a dick with poor emotional control and the need to push people away.” Hermione scoffed because that was the understatement of the century. “He doesn’t mean it though – he’s just...well I’m sure he has his reasons that he won’t be very happy if I share with you.” He muttered the last part as he sat at the desk and looked over the parchment.

“You know I grow tired of excuses and lies masked as secrets.”

“Because you have no secrets?” Hermione ignored the eyes piercing the back of her head to look inside the bedside table. “It obvious to people who pay attention that you like him.” Her shoulders tensed as she turned around to look and glare at him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Did you know that werewolves have rather sensitive senses?” She raised one eyebrow, of course she knew that, though Remus never spoke about it. “It’s easier for us to pick up on a rapid heartbeat and a change in...’smell’.” His teeth glinted against the light as he cringed slightly.

“’Smell’?” Hermione smiled as she took in his blushing cheeks and the way he refused to meet her eyes, the smile falling off of her face. “Wait...you mean...oh – erm...I think you are probably confusing me with one of his fans.” She threw it off with one hand but her cheeks remained brighter than ever.

It was one thing to admit that you might be attracted to a boy who you had been arguing with not half an hour ago but another to be called out by a friend based on the pheromones you were giving off, and she couldn’t help but wonder if animagi had more animal senses when they were human too.

“I won’t tell anyone – personally I never want to mention this conversation again, but I won’t say anything about what you feel.” Remus whispered to her as they heard the boys shuffling about closer to the bedroom, whispering to one another.

“I don’t even know what I feel.” Hermione hissed back, lowering her voice and her head so her face was covered by her curls. “I mean how can I like someone who spends the majority of his times trying to get under a girls skirt, and who seems to have complete disregard for peoples feelings.”

“He’s an idiot, always has been, and I’m not going to try and convince you otherwise.”

“Thank you.” Hermione sighed as he sat beside her, looking over the paper Remus was still holding and rubbing a hand over his arm. “You know this is one of the occasions where I hope I am wrong I am wrong about him.” It came out even quieter than usual, a truth she never thought she would admit in her life but one nonetheless.

“I think everyone is hoping that.”

“Did you seem them?” The pair jumped up from the bed at the harsher voice from outside, Hermione moving closer to the little window with it thin layer of dirt to look outside only to see the trees and nothing else.

“Who was that?” Remus asked her, his face paling as he stood up straighter, clearly hearing something that she couldn’t as he moved to push her quickly towards the bedroom door.

“Hello!”

She froze for a second at the voice. “James!” Hermione hissed though she couldn’t hear her brother as the footsteps got closer. “Get out of here and call Poppy!” She insisted as he and Sirius appeared at the end of the hall, their eyes wide.

“I’m not leaving you!” Her brother insisted and Hermione rolled her eyes and felt her heart swell slightly, her stupid loving loyal brother who didn’t care what he had promised when it came down to it.

“This isn’t the time to be brave!” He opened his mouth to fight as the footsteps came closer to the front door, the handle jiggling. “Use your cloak and hide.” Hermione hissed quickly, staying just long enough to watch James pull his cloak from undetectable extension charm in the back pocket of his jeans and throw it over both him and Sirius, their ankles showing.

The door opened not long after, Remus grabbing Hermione and pulling her under the bed, quickly dragging the duvet to hang over the edge and hide them further, his arm pulling her closer to him to make more room of the limited space.

“I thought you said you saw them, Rosier.” The voice was familiar in a way that reminded her of someone else she once knew a long time ago but couldn’t quite name.

Not that she was focusing on that when their feet and dark cloaks could be seen from down the hall where James and Sirius had last been. Merlin, she hoped they were hidden, everything out of view or even possibly trying to get out of the house without being spotted.

“I saw a group of kids heading this way while I was sat watching in that house.” Someone, Rosier, spoke harshly, his boots moving closer towards the bedroom. She didn’t know his face or how he looked, Moody having killed him before her first life, but it was enough to make chills run up and down her body.

“Watch your tone -” She knew that voice, had listened to it’s condescending tone and vicious insults once before. Had all but heard it in her ear as she was tortured. Fucking Lucius Malfoy.. “The Dark Lord knows these children will come looking for Pettigrew, your job is to tell us when they do – if you have made an error then -”

“I didn’t make an error!” Rosier snapped louder, moving even closer to the bedroom and checking behind the door. “There were four of them, I recognised Black and the Potter’s, hard to miss them.” Remus pulled Hermione even closer, her back all but pressed into his chest as she breathed out a small breath.

“Then where are they, Evan?”

“Shut up, Goyle – they’re here somewhere.”

“Or maybe they fucked off and you called us too late.” Goyle laughed, much like his son would one day – stupid and loud. She didn’t doubt that he would be a problem if they were found, one quick spell and he would be out like a light.

“Now now, Goyle, we must believe Rosier, perhaps they have gone for a little stroll throughout the area.” His slimy and yet silky voice floated through the air, giving a sense of arrogance that had her nails digging into Remus’ arm.

“Maybe we should get Pettigrew here to call them out, if they were here then they were here for him.”

“You know the Dark Lord has plans for Peter, plans that must not be disturbed.” Malfoy spoke over Goyle, she could almost see the smirk on his face. “Do you not agree with the Dark Lord?” Trick question, she wanted to shout.

“What’s he need a fifteen year old child for?” Goyle asked, sounding much like a child pouting himself as he and Rosier moved closer in the bedroom before backing out and sending a punch into the bathroom door that had it banging against the wall loudly.

“That is for him to decide and not for us to judge, the little rat had information on the Potters, Black and their little friends, enough that the Dark Lord has found some use for him.” Rosier hissed as he too moved out of the room, Hermione let out a slightly louder breath as she felt Remus stiffen.

It was one thing to speculate, it was another to have the truth thrust onto to you by people well known to be following the Dark Lord, no matter how much people ignored it, and her heart ached for him.

“Come now, let us check around the house, they can’t have gotten far.” They waited there as Malfoy ordered them away, waiting until the door shut before she scrambled away from Remus and out of the bed with harsher breaths.

James and Sirius were already waiting in the hall for them, the same cold eyes and hardened faces that no doubt was on Remus’ who stood behind her.

“We need to leave.” His voice was cold and his breath blew the smaller hairs around her head as she turned to look at him, the light green eyes that were always filled with some kind of warmth seemed dull and angry at this moment.

“We can’t just walk out of there.” Hermione whispered back, snapping her head back to the front door and taking a deep breath.

“I’m going to kill Peter.”

“Not if I get there first.”

“Not now – Poppy!” Hermione hissed, cutting off James and Sirius, as a loud crack echoed throughout the house and Poppy appeared, her tufts of hair sticking up in every direction and her old dress swishing with her movement as she grinned at Hermione.

“Missus called, Poppy take Missus, Master and friends home.” Her tiny hands wrapped around Hermione’s as the door slammed open and three men poured in with their wands drawn and pointing at the four children with sneered lips.

Hermione let her mouth slowly curl up as the first tug of apparation pulled on her stomach, smirking at the men as she whispered her last words to them. “Tell Peter we say hello.”

…

They landed on the ground, stumbling over their own feet and breathing deeply. Hermione rested her hands against her knees and turned to look at her brother as he slumped into one of the chairs and pulled his glasses off of his face.

She wanted to say something, anything that would make them all feel better but nothing fit in this moment. Nothing would take their pain away.

“Thank Merlin.” The group turned to see Marlene stood in the archway, dressed in mismatched clothes that didn’t seem to fit her normal style with her new chin length hair messy and tucked behind her ears.

“Marlene?” Hermione asked, stretching up and stumbling backwards as her best friend wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly. “What are you doing here?” She pulled back enough to see the worried expression in those icy eyes.

“Your par-”

“Where have you all been?” Hermione flinched as Euphemia stormed into the room with Fleamont hurrying after her, hazel eyes glaring at everyone but Marlene. “We have been worried sick.” Hermione wanted to point out that they had only been gone a little over two hours but it didn’t seem worth it.

“Erm...we - “

“Use your words, boy.” Fleamont snapped at James and Hermione tensed her jaw.

She understand their hesitance, their worry – after all the war seemed to be amping itself up with every passing day, with her father being at front of it all, not that he would full on admit he was an Auror and in the Order – as was her mother.

Still it was slightly ridiculous considering the amount of times the group had walked down to the village many times throughout the summer, which wasn’t as easy as it looked nor that close.

“Yes father.” James spoke, bowing his head slightly before he straightened his back and his glasses. “We went to see Peter.” Fleamont tensed as he turned to glare at his only son before sending a quick look to Hermione, as though she should have known better. “We know it was -”

“His father was arrested last night, what would make you think that now would be an appropriate time to visit him?” He asked, his voice colder as he sat himself down on a chair with a sigh, rubbing his forehead as James gulped.

“Dad, we had to see if he was alright.” James protested, even if his voice was colder and his fingers were digging into the armrests. “It doesn’t matter anyway, he wasn’t there.”

“If you had of asked me then I would have been able to tell you that.”

“What?” Sirius asked suddenly, throwing his arms in the air, but it lacked the usual tone. “Why didn’t you mention that?” He turned to frown at Fleamont who didn’t seem put out to see one of his children’s friends treating him with such familiarity.

“Because we were only informed about it this morning after we questioned Mrs Pettigrew about her husband.” Fleamont explained, linking his fingers and placing then on his lap as he leaned forward and stared at the carpet. “I was coming to ask you all when your mother informed me that none of you were home.”

“When did you all decided to take matters into your own hands?” Euphemia asked suddenly, and unlike Fleamont, she hadn’t seemed to loose any of her anger and was staring directly at Hermione for answers.

“When Peter didn’t owl back and things just stopped adding up.”

“What exactly are you accusing Peter of, Hermione?”

“I’m not accusing him of anything other than what we now know to be true.” Hermione defended herself, grimacing as her mothers eyes flashed when she turned instead to look at her father with a serious expression. “The Deatheaters turned up looking for him while we -”

“Excuse me?”

“What do you mean they turned up?” Fleamont asked, cutting off his wife and frowning. “For Peter?”

“No, they know where Peter is though – seems he’s joined some kind of Junior Deatheater club.” Hermione explained to her father, shaking her head as she heard Sirius mutter something under his breath and Marlene reach out to ask James something quietly.

“Did you catch any of their names?” Fleamont asked suddenly, looking half wary and half excited. Hermione guessed it had been a long time since they had been able to bring some kind of Deatheater in.

“What -”

“Rosier, Crabbe and Malfoy.” Hermione answered before her mother could go on a tangent about what her father was actually asking them.

“None that we didn’t already know about, hard to catch them.” Fleamont let out with a sigh, slumping back into his seat, looking like a much older version of his son, for a second, especially when he added in the eye rub under his glasses.

“Fleamont -”

“And if you use us as witnesses?”

“You were already in a place you shouldn’t have been, you’re lucky there weren’t still Aurors around to witness your little break in – for now we keep quiet about this.” Fleamont pointed to all the children in the room, all of them nodding their heads in agreement. “Did they see you?”

“As we were leaving.” Remus responded, his face pale as he flinched away from Sirius’ pat on his arm.

“Well they won’t be able to say anything without incriminating themselves, though we can play that the four of you were visiting a friend if it comes up, now -”

“Fleamont, our children were just in danger, this is no time -”

“I understand, Effie, but they are here now and safe – and it is my job as an Auror to make sure those who would put them in danger be put away, so -”

“No, not so – children, up to your rooms now.” Euphemia demanded, clicking her fingers towards the door and glaring as they began to move rather slowly. “Consider yourselves on very thin ice, I will not be asking twice.” Hermione and James gulped, moving their feet faster and urging their friends to follow after them.

…

The group hustled into James’ room, shutting the door behind them. It was basically the same as Hermione’s just everything the opposite way, the blue a bit dark and instead of books, there was more Gryffindor and Quidditch memorabilia – that and it was insanely clean like always, not a thing out of place and the bed made to perfection.

“I can’t believe – I didn’t want to think -” James cut himself off as he sank onto his bed, looking one second away from pulling the duvet over his face and telling them all to piss off.

“I think this means that you owe someone an apology and to never doubt them again.” She knew as she soon as she said it that she shouldn’t have, but a part of her couldn’t help the gloating right that she felt for the moment and the joy at the truth finally being revealed for everyone.

“Is this really the time, Mi’?” Sirius asked, silver eyes flashing to her face.

“Perhaps not but at least now you all know before it got worse.”

If only they knew what she had actually saved them from, how their fates were going to be different now because Peter’s betrayal was no longer a secret. How she had spent years wishing for this day, leaving crumbs for them to find only for them to be washed away in stupid loyalty and the wind.

Part of her mission was done now, she wanted to grin and make everybody celebrate but she doubted they would respond well to that. Perhaps she could get Marlene to celebrate with her later.

“Almost five years of friendship meant nothing to him.” The joy vanished in an instant and her nature to run and care for her brother overtook her. “Literally down the drain.” He was hurting, more than the other two, and he didn’t deserve that.

“Maybe – maybe he was threatened.” Marlene muttered as she watched with a frown as Hermione sat herself beside James, gripping his hand tightly and laying her head on his shoulder.

“Oh grow up Marlene!” Sirius exploded, picking up something from on of James’ shelves and throwing it into the corner of the room, the boys not even flinching as he did so. “He’s always been a snake in the grass, we just chose not to see it – should have known with his dad and -”

“How hypocritical of you, you and Hermione know first hand what it’s like to have family who aren’t the nicest of people – I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.” Marlene snapped, moving to pick up whatever he had thrown with a glare, stopping short as she picked it up and frowned.

It wasn’t hard to see what it was and Marlene’s hesitance, a photo of all four boys during their first summer together, all happy and smiling, when one wouldn’t think that Peter was going to join Voldemort.

“And what good is that going to do when he’s all ready fucked off to join the other side?”

“Nothing!” Marlene snapped, finally deciding to place the photo faced down on the desk, her head spinning to turn and sneer at Sirius. “But I thought for a few seconds it might make you all feel better.”

“Feel better -”

“We all know the truth, that Peter has never been nothing more than a creepy little rat after something better than anything you three could ever give him – but -”

“There is no but Hermione, I told you what I would do if he betrayed the people I care about.” His eyes were on her and her breath stopped for a second, her head lifting from James. There was something so beautifully tempting about the fury in those silver eyes.

“So what, are you going to somehow go all around Britain looking for him?” Hermione asked him breathlessly, ignoring the looks that Marlene and Remus both sent her way. She coughed and furrowed her eyebrows further.

“No, I’m going to wait until school and then I’m going to kill him.” Sirius spoke as if it was so simply, and maybe it was, but all she could see was the Sirius she had first met.

Thin, unkempt and rotted for Azkaban. Angry from the betrayal, the true betrayal that ended with the death of his friends and a baby with no parents – she could see glimpses of him now, betrayed by the fact that Peter had chosen his side, even if the rat boy hadn’t actually done anything that massive yet.

“And get yourself arrested?” Hermione whispered as he stared back at her, watching as she stood up from the bed and rolled her eyes. “How very smart of you, locked up before you even turn sixteen, I bet you’d be the youngest there.” Her words were taunting but he didn’t take the bait, not fully.

“What would you have us do Hermione?”

“I don’t know but I doubt killing an old friend is the answer.” She whispered the words, watching with wide eyes as Sirius scoffed and sat himself down on the floor, “When we get to school we can -”

“He’s not going to come back to school.” Marlene whispered and everyone turned to look at her as she frowned.

“He’s underage, Mar’, he has to -”

“If I was Peter and I learnt that my friends, my powerful rich friends, knew where my loyalties truly were then I would far too afraid to even face them, let alone share a dormitory and a school with them.” Marlene explained and Hermione couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows, especially as the next few words were uttered in a growl. “He won’t come back, not if he knows what’s good for him.”

It was all she could hope. There was one thing getting Peter caught and another trying to stop her friends from becoming murderers – or having to kill him herself in a secretive manner that would be far too dangerous and would require too much planning.

...

Wednesday the 27^th of August 1975

Nine days. Nine days with limited communication from the boys, like it was her fault that their friend was a complete idiot who joined the wrong side. Though in James defence, he didn’t seem to be talking to many people other than Sirius.

Merlin, she wished Marlene and Remus were still here but both had gone home for the final few days of the holiday (plus the moon last week). So instead she had been forced to sit by herself in the library and being ignored like she Moaning freaking Myrtle. It was why she still sat awake in the library despite the fact that James’ snores and her parents quiet mumbles could be heard throughout the house.

But it was Sirius’ annoyed and amused sigh in the doorway that had her looking up and away again.

“What are you doing in here?”

“Bored, I thought I’d grab a book to read.”

“Hm, we don’t keep centrefolds in here.” His tongue clicked in his mouth but she refused to look up as she scribbled something out onto her parchment about whatever she was reading. Honestly she couldn’t remember any more.

“Funny.” He spun on his heel and moved out of the door, a book in his hand and Hermione’s eyes piercing daggers into his back.

That was the longest conversation they had had since their argument, and he had walked away without so much as care. Her book slammed shut and the table moved as she pushed away and stormed down the hall and to the larger guest bedroom Sirius had taken reside in.

He jumped in shock as she slammed open the door and closed it forcefully, performing a quick muffliato behind her. “Did no one ever tell you it’s rude to walk away from a conversation?”

“You want to have a conversation about politeness when you just barged into my room” Sirius bit back, his eyes narrowing as he threw the book onto the bed, pulling his jumper off also as Hermione opened her mouth to protest and left to sigh as he made sure his t-shirt stayed in place.

“I wouldn’t have to have barged into your room if you hadn’t been ignoring your friends all week.” It seemed easier to label her as group, as though there had been more than herself her.

“I haven’t ignored James.”

Hermione scoffed, there would never be a day when that happened. “Of course not, because the pair of you can’t seem to manage two days without speaking to each other, obviously I wasn’t granted that luxury.” Her eyes narrowed as he grimaced at her.

“You don’t understand -”

“What it’s like to be betrayed by someone I thought I could trust, no of course not, though granted with Octans it was a little different – perhaps I understand now that my brother and his best friend seem to think I’m deserving of this treatment.” Her eyes stung, blinking to fight back the emotion that was forcing itself onto her at a very inconvenient time.

“Hermione -” Sirius began, his lips pursed. “Don’t come in here and pretend you’re annoyed because we needed time to process all the shit that just happened… you’re annoyed because of what I said and you can’t let it go.” He spoke as though it was the truth and she chose to ignore half of what he was saying to offer him a sweet smile.

“Understatement of the year.”

“But are you annoyed because I was right or because it was something that you didn’t want to hear?” He asked and her mouth opened before he took a step closer, an arrogant smirk on his face that she wanted to kis- no smack off.

“I could ask you the same thing.” She stated, rolling her eyes and poking a finger into his chest. “Are you annoyed at me because I called you out, because you hurt me or because I won’t let you run after Peter?” He winced and she smiled sweetly, expecting that he would leave it.

“You’ve always been a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to what you want to do versus everyone else.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know for a fact that nothing could stop you if Octans came out and was running around, that despite everything you told me, you would be out there doing your best to make him pay.” Hermione flinched as though she had been slapped. “Guess the same rules don’t apply when it comes to anyone else being hurt.” No, he was wrong. They did apply, he just didn’t understand.

“Just because I don’t want to see you arrested does not mean that I don’t understand where you are coming from.” She bit back, somehow they were closer than before, their feet nearly touching. “But sometimes we have to be logical -”

“My friend joined the very thing all of us have been talking about going against– I don’t care about being logical, Hermione, I just want to know why.” Her heart ached for him as he suddenly looked so young and vulnerable, innocent and hurt in a way that she had never seen him before.

Whatever Peter had or hadn’t done yet, wherever he was, he had done enough to leave the hurt behind in three young men who thought he was different, one of them. Their secrets and their choices were safe, but their hearts hadn’t been – it seemed Peter always left a trail of hurt behind no matter what.

“Sometimes we don’t get to know why, Sirius, and we’ve just got to deal with what we’ve been given.”

“Bit rich coming from you.” And just like that he was gone, replaced by the annoyed and patience testing Sirius that was frankly a second away from being slapped, but she wasn’t done trying for him just yet.

“I know I’m probably not the right person to talk to about this, but -”

“No, you’re right, you’re not the right person to talk to about this.”

“Then do you want me to leave you alone?” Her voice was harsher than she wanted it to be, but he didn’t even seem to care and she didn’t want to leave. Even if he told her to, she would stay, get to the bottom of whatever had them toe to toe at this moment.

“Does it even matter what I want?” Hermione opened her mouth to speak only to be cut off. “Because we all know all it takes is for you to click your fingers and everyone will fall onto their knees to do whatever you need to be done.” “It doesn’t matter if it hurts them, or if they have to risk everything for you because you don’t actually care so long as you get what you want.”

“You’re angry and you need someone to take it out on -”

“I’m angry at you, Hermione – I’m angry that despite everything I have just said, I don’t actually care how selfish you are.”

“Then why are you yelling at me at two in the morning?”

“Because I’m a dick, I always have been – and I’m lucky enough to be your friend with the amount of shit that comes out of my mouth and I’m sorry for what I said because any guy would be lucky to have you.” Despite his words, his tone was bitter. “And you deserve someone like Remus...who actually has a lot in common with you and would probably make you happy.”

“Is that what this is about?” She asked with a small smile on her face “Listen, I’m sure Remus is great but I don’t want Remus – I want…” Her eyes drifted over his and she was suddenly aware of how close they were, his nose was practically brushing hers and his silver eyes were hooded and intense, enough to make her stutter.

“What do you want?” The question rolled out of his mouth thickly and she couldn’t quite think of an answer, let alone even remember her own name with him standing this close.

“I don’t know.” She whispered, an alarm ringing in her head about how she should step away, force this back on him but she couldn’t quite move through the fog. “But you don’t either and that’s -”

In both her lives she had never imagined what Sirius’ lip would feel like, that was a lie – she had thought about it once or twice, but she was always sure that kissing wasn’t supposed to hurt or feel like he was pouring every inch of his anger into their kiss. And yet she couldn’t seem to find the will to care that her lips would be bruised tomorrow.

Especially not when he let out a moan as her hand slipped into his silky hair, and his hand grazed the skin between her top and trackies, seeming to set it aflame in the most delicious way and have her let out a moan that he took full advantage of by shoving his tongue in her mouth.

In the back of her mind she could vaguely remember the snogs other Hermione had had, sloppy and inexperienced – done simply because it was what couples did – but this was different. She should have known Sirius would hone his skill up to a level that no one else would be able to pass.

Her distracting thoughts broke as his hand moved a bit higher, pushing up the top and burning her skin all the same. More, her hormonal brain whispered in her ear, tempting her to see how far this could go and making her pull away from him all the same before she did something very stupid that would either end in regret or something else entirely.

His mouth opened, as her hands pushed his shoulders and her eyes closed to make sure he didn’t tempt her further. “You were right.”

“You stopped to tell me that?”

“I might not know what or perhaps, who, -” Liar, her brain hissed at her. “- I want, but I know enough that I am never going to be the type of girl to just fool around with someone without a guarantee of some kind of relationship.” His face settled in understanding and her stomach clenched as her brain continued to berate her for stopping this.

“So what you’re saying is -”

“There’s something between us, obviously, possibly attraction or hormones, but I can’t be willing to see where this goes without knowing that it can go further.” Hermione spoke softly, stepping away fully and looking at him from under her lashes as he nodded his head and sucked in a deep breath.

He contemplated for a moment, looking both settled and lost – like there was a war inside his head about which side to choose until he finally looked at her and spoke, even though she knew the answer that was coming. “I don’t want a relationship, at least not now, and maybe not ever but it’s not a choice I want to be making now.” She sometimes forgot how young they actually were, how much life had yet to throw at them.

Something shifted inside her, a strange feeling of disappointment and relief, though she understood why and offered him a small smile, moving to grip the door handle as he sat down on his bed, looking a little lost.

“We’re okay, right?”

“Of course.”