The Biggest Sacrifice

Sunday the 13th of October 1973

“Potter.”

Hermione stopped, her tongue resting on the back of her teeth. She turned around on the steps to face Snape, resting her hand on the balustrade as she tilted her head and smiled sarcastically at the boy standing a few steps above her. He watched her coolly, looking much like the teacher she knew, though without the dramatic cloak.

“Can I help you, Severus?” His eyes narrowed slightly and his arms crossed over his chest as he took a few steps down until he was only two small steps away, looking down at her. “Well, if you’re just going to stand there and stare at me, then…”

Hermione moved to turn, frowning when his hand rested on her own and kept her there. His fingers were clammy and cold, his skin pale in an unhealthy way unlike her own. She gazed at him as he pulled his hand away and looked around, taking in the dark circles under his eyes and the oily hair that hung limply around his face.

Apart from glaring at him across the room and avoiding her brother when he was on a tangent to get back at the boy, she tried to avoid the skinny figure standing before her. He was cruel and snide, and despite what he did in the future, his obsession with the Dark Arts was leading him down a path that would be hard to come back from and would cost him everything.

“I need to speak to you.” His voice was as soft as ever but his sneer and the way he looked down at her was enough to know he wasn’t being kind.

I got that much…” Hermione muttered, tilting her head once again and waiting for him to speak, only to see him watching her over his hooked nose, his lip curling even more as his black eyes seemed to stare into her soul. “You know, this is the part where you talk.” She gestured with her hands as he looked away at a couple of Hufflepuffs who were walking past.

“Leave Lily alone.”

Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn’t that and she couldn’t help the small laugh that left her throat as she shook her head, before letting out a yelp as something stung her arm, turning with wide eyes to stare at the boy and the wand being carefully tucked back into his sleeve. “What – just because I laughed? Do you just spend all your days hexing people?”

“Lily - “

“I haven’t spoken to her for like a month, if you’re having problems then perhaps it’s because she’s realised what a psychopath you are.” Hermione snapped as she rubbed her arm as Snape had some decency to look slightly ashamed, pushing his wand further back into his sleeve and glaring down at her.

“She hasn’t been the same since school started.” Hermione stared at him with her mouth open, completely confused as to what was happening, she could have sworn he was looking for some sort of advice.

“Perhaps your little Slytherin friends are the reason...I mean they do go around cursing and threatening Muggleborns, can’t expect her to be fine with that, can we?” She raised her eyebrow as he sneered again and the helpless look was gone, replaced by one she was all too familiar with since it was often directed towards her brother and Sirius.

“You don’t understand.”

“What’s not to understand, Snape?” Hermione asked harshly, taking a step closer and almost smirking that they were the same height, her eyes narrowed. “You’re making a choice that will cost you everything and blaming everyone else - “

“You think you’re so great don’t you, Saint Potter, you and your brother pretending like you are too good for everyone else – but you’ll both get what’s coming to you.” He whispered the words and she tried to hold back the shiver that came with them. A part of her wondered if he had invented his group of spells, if he was just itching to test them out and looking for a reason.

“Don’t threaten me Snape, we both know it won’t end well for you.” Hermione hissed back, watching the slight fear shine through his eyes as she twirled her wand between her fingers and glared up at him “Well if that’s all then I best get back to what I was actually doing before you stopped me with this useless conversation and mild hexes.”

With that she turned and made her way to the bottom of the steps, stopping when she heard him mumble something and a stinging jinx hissed beside her feet, turning she glared at him and waved her wand, holding out her hand and smirking when his own wand landed in her small palm. It felt wrong to hold, just as cold as the boys hands and just as dark as his eyes.

He stared at her in shock and it took her a second to realise she had done it without even uttering a word, a non-verbal spell from a third year who spent most of her lessons seeming to barely pay attention.

“Erm...what’s going on here?” The pair turned to see Sirius stood there looking between them, arms crossed and a frown on his face, silver eyes seeming to swim with hate at the boy on the stairs.

"Give me my wand back Potter." Snape snapped, storming down the stairs and ignoring Sirius who moved a step closer to Hermione. She rolled her eyes and took a step away from them both, keep the wand tightly in her hand and glaring at the boy. Sirius grabbed it from her and moved to in front of her, waving the wand in the boys face.

“Should have known better than trying with Hermione, Snivellus, watch your back.” Her tossed the wand in the air and smirked when Snape scrambled to grab it, glaring at the pair of them but seeming to decide better than trying to take them both on, especially when Sirius was smirking and looking so casual like he knew he had won for today.

Neither of them spoke as he stormed off, watching the round shoulders disappear up the stairs. Hermione let out a sigh, crossing her arms over her chest and marching away from the other boy, sending a look over her shoulder.

His feet hit against the ground and she knew he was following her without even looking back, could practically see his long legs and swaggering walk, flicking his hair out of his eyes and smirking at the girls they passed.

“Hermione.” And then he was in front of her, leaning outside the hospital and grinning at her but there was something in his eyes, something that told her just how annoyed he actually was. “Why are we going to the Hospital Wing, did Snivellus do something to you?” She rolled her eyes and tried her best to rub her arm where the stinging hex had hit.

“We aren’t going anywhere and no, believe it or not Sirius, I can take care of myself.”

Sirius reached to grab her arm before she could enter the room, pulling her back and ignoring her huff of annoyance as she pulled herself away from him. “Snape isn’t like other people Hermione, he knows more hexes and curses than the whole school put together and you don’t want to be on the end of that.” His concern was strong and his hand was resting on her shoulder.

Hermione bit her tongue and forced herself to swallow the words bubbling up in her throat. She could tell him how much worse she had had it at the knife and wand of his cousin, she could tell him how she had been petrified or how her own father in this life had – but it would only cause more questions, only make her have to tell the truth that was far too unbelievable.

And Snape was a child, he wasn’t the same man she had known in the other life, but she held an anger towards her. He was the reason things were so awkward between her and Lily, he was reason her brother had learnt to defend himself so fast – and there was so much more.

As she stared at Sirius, she couldn’t help but remember the hostile energy that still existed in twenty years. A frown formed on her face, Snape knew Peter – he was a Deatheater and he knew who was innocent the whole time, he knew who the real betrayer was and yet he never said anything and just let Sirius rot because of some old grudge.

“Fucking Snape.”

“I agree but - “

Hermione cringed as she realised she had spoke out loud before she settled on frowning at Sirius and shaking her head. “I’ll be careful, promise, but trust me, I can deal with Snape.” With that she turned on her heal and strode into the wing, eyes scanning everywhere and landing on her brothers messy hair. “Remus!”

The boy in question stared at her as she sat herself down on the edge of his bed, watching from the corner of her eye as James sent Sirius a shocked look. “Hermione?”

“Tell your friend to stop following me around and let him know that I can take care of myself.” Hermione spoke, throwing another glare to Sirius before smiling at Remus who looked between them all shocked, shifting in his bed and wincing at his cuts, as he tried to pull the sheet to cover his bare chest much to Hermione’s amusement.

“I – I - “

“Oh stop worrying, I know what’s happened and why you are in here.” Hermione patted his leg gently and offered him a smile. She couldn’t say why she had chosen today to say anything but she was happy to go with the flow and at least let one secret out.

“You know I’m a - “

“Werewolf?” She grinned as she whispered the words and leant closer to him, watching as he all but flinched away from her and then turned to his friends in shock, she didn’t need to turn around to know how shocked they looked. “I don’t know whether to be offended, you do know I am smarter than these two?.” She pointed to the boys behind her and ignored the cries. “I figured it out during first year.” Or rather twenty years from now in the future, but a white lie never hurt.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Remus asked suddenly, sitting up in the bed and looking at her angrily, his sheet slipping though he didn’t seem to care at this moment. “Why are you even here when you know what a monster I am?” Hermione frowned at him, preparing to make the same speech she had done so many times in the future.

“Remus, mate, we’ve been through this.” James spoke softly and Hermione turned to look at her brother as he glared at his friend. “Just consider it a Potter thing that we aren’t scared of ‘Monsters’ and leave it at that.” He chuckled at the end as Sirius frowned but didn’t say anything.

“That and also, it was hard to mention anything when you spent first year barely speaking to me and our second year for us to actually be friends.” Hermione rolled her eyes and levelled him with a look that had him blushing. “Also, call me crazy, but I didn’t think I should just announce that I knew about your Furry Little Problem.” With a shrug of her shoulders she shifted on the bed as Sirius chuckled behind his hand.

“You might be a little crazy to be friends with a – wait did you just say we’re friends?”

“Really?”

“Of course that’s you focus on. Of course, Remus, I don’t just study with strangers.” Hermione joked, ignoring James and Sirius from behind them, reaching out to take his scared hand and offering him a kind smile. His cheeks turned red again and his light green eyes hide behind his shaggy sandy hair, but there was a slight smile on his lips.

“This is all great and everything but can we talk about Snape.” Remus pulled his hand away as Hermione frowned and turned to look at Sirius, his silver eyes trained on the piece of bed where her hand still rested, something strange swirling behind them.

“Why would we talk about him?” James asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking just as put out as Hermione did, except he wasn’t glaring at Sirius like she was.

“Because your sister just expelliarmused him after what looked like a pretty intense conversation.”

“What!”

“Mr Potter, keep it down.” Madam Pomfrey called as she appeared beside the curtain, looking between the three uninjured teenagers with a glare, seeming confused when she landed on Hermione and then she turned away and left them there, muttering to herself under her breath.

“Sorry Poppy...huh I never realised she had the same name as our elf – not the point, why were you speaking to Snape?” James fully turned to face her now, though he looked far more annoyed than Sirius did, his tongue clicking against the back of his teeth and his hazel eyes flashing dangerously behind his glasses.

“I didn’t go looking for him and anyway we should be making sure Remus is feeling better.” Hermione suggested, turning back to the werewolf as he cringed and looked at the glass of water on his nightstand.

“Mr Lupin is to take his potions and rest, it would be ideal if the three of you were to stop harassing him with your problems that I will pretend I didn’t hear.” And just like that Madam Pomfrey was back, all but shooing Hermione from her place on the bed and giving them all a stern stare to match McGonagalls “Now out, all of you.”

“Of course, dear Poppy, friend we will be back later, now I going to go have a few words with my problematic sister, come Hermione.” Hermione didn’t get to speak as James grabbed her arm and all but pulled her from the room, only managing to wave her hand over her shoulder and send him a smile, slapping Sirius when he tried to push her hand down.

The smile didn’t fall from her face as they passed a number of students, trying to keep her footwork up with her brothers and only letting the facade drop when they stood in an empty and dimmer cove of the castle, glaring at each other.

None of them spoke, seeming content to let someone else do it. Hermione rolled her eyes and leant against the wall, raising her eyebrows at the boys as she waited, watching them have some sort of conversation with only their eyes.

“Well…”

“What were you thinking?”

“You know, Sirius has already had this conversation with me.” Hermione pointed to his best friend who rolled his eyes and copied her stance on the opposite wall, except he didn’t seem amused like she did and settled on frowning at her instead.

James let out a scoff, the corners of his mouth turning up only to be pushed down and replaced with a look that just screamed Euphemia. “Lucky you, now you get it from me too.”

“It would be better if you both just let it be, but I see that’s impossible.” Hermione sighed as she spoke, pushing herself off the wall and picking some invisible lint off of her turtle-neck. “So I’ll just state, me and Snape had a conversation, things were said, he tried something and I stopped it...the end.” Her hands clapped together and she grinned, only for it to fall when the boys narrowed their eyes even further.

“And you think he’ll just let this go?” Sirius asked with a scoff, picking at something under his nails.

“I don’t understand how the pair of you can lecture me on Snape, when you both spend your days tormenting him.” Hermione pointed out. Her head hurt and she was already feeling tired of the whole situation, it wasn’t like she spent her days fighting with Snape that she needed to be pulled aside and told off like a child.

“And getting hexed, jinxed and whatever else by him too.” Sirius snapped, raising his arm to show a fresh bruise that only served to annoy her more and make her want to drag Snape throw the halls by his greasy hair until he apologised.

“Listen, I appreciate the concern, it’s sweet but I am, and always have been, more than capable of looking after myself...so please just leave it alone.” Hermione bit out, grinding her teeth together and forcing out a smile towards Sirius who shook his head and looked away from her.

“Hermione, you’re my sister, if you think I’m just going to let him - “

“Yes I do, because I don’t get involved between the three of you so don’t get involved here, nothing needs to be done.” Her tone was final, something she had learnt from Fleamont when he was done with his sons antics, James seemed to understand as his mouth snapped shut and his lips thinned into an annoyed smile.

“And what if he - “

“Then he does it, Sirius, I won’t spend my life hiding behind the pair of you or looking around every corner.” Hermione answered before he could finish, turning back to look at her brother and raising her eyebrows. “Now can we be done with this?”

“Fine, I’m not happy, but fine.”

“James!”

“Mate, she’s right - “

“Hermione?” The three turned to see Regulus stood a few steps away from them, looking so much like his brother except his eyes shone brighter than Dumbledore’s and he lacked the same sense of confidence and casual arrogance.

Her mouth opened slightly and her tongue rolled around as she considered the younger boy. The one who had done what he thought what was right after making a terrible decision only to end up dead at the hands of the inferi. And yet here he stood before her after barely looking her way in the past year, twelve and a young boy with a whole future ahead of him.

“What do you want, Reg?”

“I...er...I saw what happened with Severus...I wanted to see if you were okay.” Although he answered his brother, his eyes stayed on her, straying to where she knew the mark of the sting would be.

“I’m fine thank you.” She spoke softly, giving him a pointed look that he seemed to understand as he nodded his head and shifted from foot to foot. A small smile made it’s way to her face, Sirius had always spoke about his Death Eater brother, it was hard to imagine that was what this young man would become if she didn’t do anything.

“Great, you’ve checked on her, you can go now.” Sirius snapped, glaring at the boy, his whole body tense as Regulus gulped and finally looked at his brother.

“Sirius.” Hermione felt her eyebrows raise as she heard her brother. She hadn’t expected him to disapprove, but instead to feel the same and support his friends – maybe he felt different having a sibling himself, being the younger one.

Regulus didn’t say anything else, slowly turning and letting out a sigh that had Hermione moving forward, still a few steps away as his nervous eyes landed on her and his mouth opened in shock. “Regulus, you know can still talk to us, right, about anything?” It came out of her mouth before she could stop it, a slight wince on her face as Sirius sucked in a breath behind her.

Her and Regulus hadn’t been close, their last interaction had been a quick head nod five months ago and before that when they were all but babies. He wasn’t Sirius, who had had them for nearly a decade, because he didn’t know who to follow. The brother who spent more time with friends and had the confidence to escape the family or the family who provided him with everything and filled his head with ideas.

And she couldn’t let him go through Hogwarts without thinking he had someone to talk to. If it would do anything, honestly she didn’t know, but she could try – she could try and give Sirius his brother she knew he missed.

The boy didn’t speak again, leaving the three there, but the corners of his mouth ticked up and his steps seemed a bit lighter. Hermione watched him go, and then she was spinning on her heel and heading towards the Great Hall.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“You offering my slimy snake of a brother some weird kind of friendship.” Sirius snapped, throwing his arm in the air and all but growling at her. She was reminded of an older Sirius, one who held onto his grudges and prejudices against Slytherin with no temptation to grow up and see reason.

“First of all; there is nothing wrong with being a Slytherin and second; he’s twelve, Sirius and he spent the better part of last year with no friends and his own brother ignoring him.” He had enough decency to look a little shamed but it was gone within a flash and he was storming around to stand before her, glaring at her like she didn’t understand in the slightest.

“Because I know what he’s like - “ Sirius whispered, his hand coming to rest over his chest and his silver eyes flooded with more emotion than she had ever seen from him. “He isn’t like me, he’s spent the past twelve years believing everything our family has said… give it a few years and he’ll be killing Muggleborns to please You-Know-Who.” It was Hermione’s turn to wince now, to look away from him.

“His name is Voldemort.” And yet the word fell like a whisper from her tongue and shiver ran through her body as Sirius’ eyes turned wide and his mouth fell open while James winced. “You do know that fear of a name, only increases fear of the thing itself.” Her lips twitched as she realised for the first time in a few years she sounded more like Hermione Granger, but it fell as Sirius glared at her. “As in regards to Regulus, we can’t know that for sure, perhaps if we can show him then he won’t be as inclined to follow his family but instead follow his big brother.”

Sirius lips twisted, raising at the sides as though he was amused by the idea but it was gone as quickly as it appeared as they stood outside the entrance of the Great Hall. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” He moved towards the tables where their friends sat but Hermione reached to grab him before he could get there.

“I won’t let him become one of them, Sirius.”

He stared at her for a second, biting on his bottom lip as he pulled his wrist out of her grasp. He didn’t say anything more, didn’t offer her any agreement or disagreement but instead sat himself beside James, leaving her to move into the seat opposite her brother with a sigh.

“What was that about?” Marlene asked as the three of them sat down at the table. She cast a look to Lily as the redhead moved away from the table. Hermione frowned and watched her go.

“Nothing – just nothing.” Hermione whispered, picking at a piece of toast as the boys began shovelling food into their mouths like they hadn’t eaten in days, Hermione placed her elbows on the table, closer to Marlene and whispered just for her to hear. “What did Lily say?”

“Mi’…” Marlene sighed before she nodded her head. “Nothing really, she just wanted a catch up but if it helps I think she misses you too.” She offered a bright tooth smile and Hermione shrugged her shoulders but she couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on her face, even if she knew Lily wouldn’t be speaking to her anytime soon. “Are they about to kiss?”

Hermione frowned, turning to face her brother and Sirius as they spoke, their faces inches apart though they pulled back at her words, much closer than two people needed to be unless they were planning something. “Shut up Marlene.” The boys cried together, putting an unnecessary amount of space between them.

“Leave it alone, Jaime.” Hermione spoke softly, focusing on her brother as he tried to look as innocent as he could and not like he kept turning to glare at the Slytherin table and a certain greasy haired boy sat there. “Just for once in life leave it alone.”

“Why would I do that?” James whispered back, giving in and leaning across the table.

“What’s happening here?” Marlene asked, gesturing between the two, the stared at her for a second, seeming to contemplate something before they looked back to each other with matching glares and tensed jaws.

“Because I’m asking you to.” Hermione snapped back, sitting herself fully back in her chair and rolling her eyes as James narrowed his own and opened his mouth to speak but she beat him too it, pointing to the door of the Great Hall. “And you literally just said you would.”

“But that was before I saw his stupid face.” James whined, slamming his hand against the table, turning to look over his shoulder and send another glare to Snape that had the black eyed boy staring back in disdain.

“Can someone answer me?” Marlene spoke again but no one turned to face her this time.

“Hermione - “

“You both started this with cruel jokes, and since then all three of you have gone back and forth, I refuse to be dragged into this so for love of Merlin’s left bloody ballsack, just leave it alone.” Hermione snapped, standing up and placing her hands on the table to glare between the boys. “Or I swear to Merlin I will hex you you both so hard you won’t be able to walk for a week.” James flinched and Sirius gave her an intrigued look.

“Anyone ever tell you you look fit when you’re being all worked up?”

“Anyone ever tell you to stop talking like that to my sister?” James snapped, reaching up to slap the back of Sirius’ head as the long black haired back let out a laugh and pushed his best friend away, grinning widely and turning back to look at Hermione, who was just happy they were letting things go.

“Can’t help it Jamie, she’s like a little kitten with sharp claws, adorably terrifying.”

“Thank you?” Hermione questioned as the two boys began fighting in their seats, hands slapping shoulders and both boys letting out laughs leaving her to sit herself back down and finish her breakfast in peace.

“Anytime, love.”

"Oh Merlin, I think I might throw up."

…

Saturday the 3^rd of November 1973

Marlene and Hermione looked at each other as they stood at the bottom of the girls' stairs, staring at the chaos before them.

They had known Sirius would celebrate his birthday—the first one he had at Hogwarts that fell on a weekend—and they should have expected he would take it to the next level. However, they didn’t expect it to be this grand.

There were many people using it as an excuse to celebrate a late Halloween, mainly the fifth to seventh year who seemed to be pouring back drinks like they were a glass of pumpkin juice while the fourth years tried to copy and the third years were more than happy to try and get drunk on their butterbeers and sneaking shots of something else.

Hermione Granger would have scolded them without a second thought, but Hermione Potter smiled as she grabbed one of the drinks from the table and made her way to the sofa with Marlene, where they spent the better part of the next couple of hours watching people get drunker and drunker until only the strongest and their friends remained.

“Guys!” Remus appeared in front of them with a grin on his face, gesturing for them to stand up. He held their hands and twisted around to the music that was playing far too loud. He was clearly not too sober but enjoying himself nonetheless. “We should go up to the dorm before McGonagall comes in for curfew.” He didn’t wait for them to answer but instead pulled them towards the boys' stairs.

Hermione cringed as she passed a couple snogging, trying to push herself further into the wall and giggling when Marlene scoffed at them.

Weak technique there, Shacklebolt.” The guy turned around, and Hermione’s eyes widened as she stared at a much younger version of a man she had once admired. He didn’t seem to notice her as he stumbled on the step and narrowed his eyes at Marlene.

“Fuck off McKinnon.”

“Remus...ah, here you are.” James stumbled up the stairs, falling into Hermione, who did her best to steady him while Sirius swayed behind and grinned at Kingsley, waggling his eyebrows. “Nice work, Kings...what was I going to say?” He frowned at Sirius who shrugged his shoulders, both of them thinking over what had sent them rushing up here.

“What on earth is going on in here?”

“Ah yes that was it, McGonagall is here!” James hissed, pushing past the girls and falling into Kingsley, before he was scrambling up the stairs. Hermione felt her mouth fall open as she looked at Marlene and then they were running behind the boys and giggling, falling into the room as Sirius slammed and locked the door behind them.

“Hey, where’s Pete?” Marlene asked as she looked around the room, Hermione frowned too staring at the room that was much like the girls' though with four beds instead of five and seemingly much more space than they had.

“He was caught, so we had to leave him behind.” Sirius spoke softly, falling onto what Hermione could only assume was his bed due to the mess that seemed to be his duvet and the clothes falling out of his trunk and models in bikinis above his pillow. Unless he suddenly had a love of chocolate and books, was keeping something strange in his trunk that stunk, or had developed a strange obsession with cleaning and felt the need to keep photos of the Potter family without him in them.

Hermione moved instead to her brothers bed, leaning her head on his shoulder, careful of his Quidditch gear resting on his trunk and crossed her legs as Marlene sat herself down in the middle of the floor and stretched out, with Remus all but jumping onto his own bed.

They stayed like that, trading butterbeers and a bottle of firewhiskey Sirius had somehow acquired, though they only took gentle shots. They spoke and played games, laughing amongst themselves and tried not to be too self-conscious about Remus and his Polaroid camera, the constant flash and the stack of growing photos, that only seemed to increase when Sirius took off his shirt and began singing as loud as he could.

There was no mention of Peter, no one seeming to even remember that their friend should have probably been in bed by now. Hermione knew she should have brought it up but it was far too relaxing to sit and laugh as James’ eyebrow caught fire during his intense version of snap with Marlene, the pair of them laughing like old friends.

She couldn’t tell you what time they went to sleep, neither girl bothered too much about moving to their own room, despite what rumours Emmeline and Jenny would spread the next day. Instead Hermione took it upon herself to make sure everyone was tucked into bed.

Remus was pretty easy, all she had to do was bribe him with the promise of chocolate. Marlene had collapsed in James’ bed, but her brother seemed to find joy in her chasing him around the room until she shoved him beside Sirius, trying not to blush as he laid there in his boxers fast asleep. It was easier when she couldn’t see him and could curl up beside Marlene and close her eyes.

...

Monday the 10^th of December 1973

The full moon shone brightly through the windows of the Gryffindor Common room, a white circle hanging in the sky that would have been beautiful if Hermione wasn’t more focused on what it meant for Remus at this very moment.

She leant on a bench, staring out the window, hoping for the millionth time that he would have an easy transformation, though she knew it would be painful. A sigh left her mouth as she looked down at her parchment, trying to remember the ingredients once again for the Wolfsbane potion that hadn’t even been discovered yet, half tempted to knock on the Slytherin common room and ask for Damocles Belby.

Not that that would do much, as he was in his seventh year and they had never even spoken. How many more years would they have to wait before it was developed?

Her hands rubbed over her face before her head fell back to rest on the wall. She would join the boys if she could, trying to turn themselves into animals, but her own research had been slow going and there was only so many ingredients one could take before someone started noticing and she couldn’t take this away from the boys.

“Hey.” Hermione looked up to see Marlene entering the pretty empty common room, her eyes drifting to the fire that was nearly out and offered little to no light. Her watch showed her that it was later than she realised but she felt no need to move up to the dormitory and instead focused on the icy blue eyes that still shone in the dark.

“Hey, you ok?”

Marlene let out a sigh, sitting herself beside Hermione, as the other girl folded her parchment and placed it in her book, hiding it from view as Marlene passed her a letter. IIt looked as though it had been read multiple times, folded and already thinner than it should have been given the date on the side, with a small burn mark beside it.

Dear Marlene,

We received your letter regarding your permission to come home this Christmas and we believe it would be more prudent for you to stay at Hogwarts and focus on your studies, as we ourselves will be unavailable for the holidays due to our work and previous commitments.

It had also come to our attention, through your brother, that you have spent more of your time running around behind your friends and becoming more acquainted with the boys in your school. Such behaviour is unacceptable and could cause backlash on our family that we have spent so much time trying to raise up in society.

We ask that you begin to think more about your family and your future, as you know rumours last a long time and it will do no good to any potential match if you are seen as some brazen hussy.

Take care and think of your family,

Your mother, Kathleen McKinnon.

Hermione stared at the letter in shock as she gulped down the lump in her throat and let the paper rest on her knee. “And I thought Sirius’ family was bad.” Her throat was dry, but she managed to elicit a small chuckle from Marlene, who reached for her letter, balled it up, and threw it into the dying embers.

They both stayed there for a while, watching as the paper slowly burn at the edges before Marlene shifted and turned to look back at Hermione with a sad smile on her face, her eyes watery at the edges. “Guess I can’t ask you to stay with me here can I?”

Hermione opened her mouth to speak before closing it. She would if she could, but James, Sirius and Remus would all be heading to the Potter Manor and she had promised her mother she would be home. “What if you came to stay with us, I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind.”

“My parents would.”

“No, no, come on, I’ll write to my mother and have her write to your parents, if Euphemia Potter can talk around the Blacks to letting Sirius stay with us then your parents will be no problem.” Hermione spoke as she pulled out a bit of spare parchment paper, writing down a quick note for her mother as Marlene looked over her shoulder with a frown.

“I didn’t even say yes.” Though her tone was sarcastic, there was a small curve to Marlene’s mouth and her eyes were no longer watery.

“I’ll send this off in the morning but for now just know the answer is yes.” Hermione grinned at her friend as Marlene nodded her head and stayed beside her as Hermione went back to looking out of the window, a mixture of sadness and relief settling in her heart as she swore she heard a pained howl.

Marlene didn’t ask why they were sat there, didn’t seem phased as Hermione stared at the moon in the sky for the next couple of hours. Marlene didn’t mention it was a school night or how early they had to be up, nor did she ask any questions It wasn’t like she knew, but she seemed to sense it was important for Hermione to be here, offering silent support to something she couldn’t understand.

Yet Hermione felt her mind drift towards the McKinnon family. She had never met them and the only stories she had heard were those from the past; a whole family killed in one night by Deatheaters, and whatever bits of information Marlene felt like giving this time around.

She knew they were cold, probably more similar to Sirius’ family, though without the penchant for killing Muggles.. Traditional and pureblood in a way that Hermione had never had to deal with at the Potter’s.

…

Saturday the 22^nd of December 1973

Hermione grinned as she stretched in her compartment, placing her feet in James’ lap, her brother letting out a sigh as she knocked his book but he didn’t so anything more. She was tempted to comment on the fact that he was reading when all his other friends seemed more than content to play exploding snaps and plan their pranks for the upcoming year.

She opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it when she saw the title of the book and noticed how his eyes drifted to the auburn-haired girl passing their compartment, who quickly glanced at them before storming away.

“She’ll come around.” Remus muttered to her and offered a small smile only to flinch at the narrowed eyed glare she sent his way.

It had been months since Lily and Hermione had actually had a decent conversation that lasted longer than two minutes and didn’t involve small talk in front of their mutual friend Marlene – and now Remus who Lily seemed to have stolen as her studying partner since apparently sticking with Hermione was now a no go.

How ridiculous was the whole thing, so childish and not at all mature in any way. Hermione running around after her friends trying to find out what was being said and Lily being standoffish and refusing to speak about her at all. Merlin, Lily even seemed to get along better with Sirius. This is what she got for having a female friend after spending all her years with boys.

The train came to a slow stop, Hermione letting out a sigh, pulling her feet from her brothers lap and kicking his book out of his hand as she did so. His hazel eyes turned to glare at her but she just smiled sweetly back at him and pulled herself off of the comfy seats of the train.

The whole of the school seemed eager to take their time in getting off the train, stopping to speak to friends and leave the group of five stuck behind them waiting impatiently as a group of Hufflepuffs stood laughing together at the entrance only to be shoved out of the way by Hermione as she glared at them while walking past.

“Guys…erh guys!” The group stopped to look at Peter as he struggled to keep with them on his legs, eyes flickering everywhere and hands gripping his trunk tightly. He looked so small and much younger than they all did, like a little boy chasing after them. “I have to go meet my parents, but I’ll see you after Christmas.” He looked so hopeful, watery eyes on the boys as they offered him half-hearted waves and turned away from him.

None of them saw his smile drop or his hands fall by his sides but Hermione did and she couldn’t help but frown when her stomach twisted slightly at the sight, his eyes landed on her and she offered him a fake smile. “Bye then, Pete.”

With that she turned on her heel, cloak swishing by her feet dramatically and curls bouncing behind her as Marlene offered a wave of her own. This Christmas was looking up to be amazing, Marlene was staying, there was no Peter for whatever reason and she would be with her family.

“What are you grinning at?” Marlene asked as they walked behind the boys, their long necks craning to look for the Potters while Hermione all but skipped beside her.

“Two whole weeks without Peter, honesty it’s a dream come true and the best gift he could have ever given me.” Hermione giggled, spinning around on her heels and catching her trunk before it smacked to the ground, laughing when Crookshanks let out a hiss at her and the boys threw her matching looks with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t know what he did to you - “

“Just him existing is enough reason.” Hermione mumbled under her breath so only Marlene could hear, her friends elbow catching her rib and making Hermione hiss under her breath, her eyes catching Remus’ as he raised an eyebrow at her. Stupid werewolf hearing.

“ - but perhaps you could try be nicer to him, he thinks you hate him.” James carried on speaking, sending her a pointed look over his glasses, looking for a second like Dumbledore.

“I’ll try.” She promised him sweetly, crossing her fingers behind her back and tilting her head to the side that had Sirius rolling his eyes because they all knew it was bullshit, but she just needed more time to make them see what a little rat Peter was so they would ditch him once and for all, or he would choose a different path.

“My precious babies!” Hermione didn’t have time to react, her arm knocking into James’ as she was pulled into a familiar neck, the smell of fresh flowers and powder overwhelming her as their mother all but cried between them.

“What is happening?” James mouthed to her as she shook her head and the arms pulled around her tighter, pushing her face closer to James until their noses were nearly touching and they were both staring at each other in disgust as they tried to pull out of Euphemia’s tightly gripped arms until they only ended up pushing each other.

“Mum!”

“I have missed you both so much, I am half tempted to never let either of you leave home ever again.” There was a kiss placed above Hermione’s eyebrow and arms pulling them in so tight Hermione thought her ribs might crack under the pressure, their mother not seeming to notice she was a wands length away from killing her own children with her love.

“Euphemia, dear, perhaps you should let our children go before they pass out or you cry yourself hoarse.” Fleamont was there suddenly, pulling the arms away as James and Hermione both sucked in breaths and avoided the eyes of their friends while their mother all but cried before them and their father seemed to think it was important to pull them behind him.

“Nonsense Flea, honestly what mother wouldn’t do the same...now Sirius and Remus, how lovely to see you.” Euphemia was off again, pulling the boys into her surprisingly strong arms and placing a kiss on their cheeks as Hermione and James chuckled from where they stood at their fathers side, his arms around them both. “I am so excited to have you both with us for Christmas.”

“Thank you for having us Mrs Potter.”

“How many times have I told you Remus, it’s Aunt Effie, stop trying to make me sound so old.” Euphemia scolded playfully but her hands reached up to brush away the greying hair and her eyes crinkled with crows feet and lines from her years on earth. She gave them both another smile before turning to see Marlene shifting from foot to foot. “And you must be Marlene, Hermione has told us so much about you and we are very excited to have you stay with us.”

Marlene looked between the parents, eyes wide as Fleamont showed her a soft smile. “It really is a pleasure.”

“Well thank you for having me Mr and Mrs Potter, I’m really looking forward to it.” James let out a cough behind his hand, hiding his laugh, despite the icy glare that was sent his way as Marlene tried to act more formal and polite than they had ever known her.

“And you’re sure your parents - “

“Mr and Mrs Potter?” The group went silent as they stared at the couple before them, not taking a second to guess who they were with their various shades of golden blond hair, cold blue eyes and tan skin. The woman seemed slightly lighter in both skin and hair, and her eyes were more grey and stern. Her husband, however, watched them all with cold eyes and a tense smile.

Where Marlene got her attitude for chaos and having fun seemed like a mystery. Though now she seemed a second away from curling up in a ball or running away.

Fleamont stepped forward with an easy smile, holding out his hand waiting for Mr McKinnon to stop his staring to reach forward and take his hand. “Nice to meet you both, you must be Marlene’s parents – how do you do?”

“We just wanted to thank you for taking her in over the holidays.” Mr McKinnon spoke, his voice low and bored as Fleamont tensed and Marlene looked relieved, moving to stand closer to the Potter’s now that she wasn’t going to be whisked away.

“Of course, she is more than welcome – though it must be hard not to see her over the holidays, if you have some free time, we are having a ball on Christ-”

“We appreciate the offer but our plans leave no room for any change.” Mr McKinnon cut off Fleamont, looking at his wife over his shoulder as she jutted out her chin and looked forward. “Well, thank you again, we must be off now – behave yourself and we will see you in the summer.” The man turned to Marlene, offering a tense smile as Mrs McKinnon nodded her head at her daughter. “Come along Matias.”

Hermione turned her head, frowning as she noticed the shy and awkward seventh year Matias watching them all with a frown, looking like a more masculine version of his sister with darker hair and a sadder smile. He hesitated for a few seconds, watching his parents walk away from them all before he turned back to face them, dropping his head slightly as he spoke. “Have a good Christmas, Mar – I’ll see you in the new year.”

“Yeah thanks.” Marlene bit out, her own eyes narrowing as she moved to stand between Sirius and Remus, the former throwing his arm over her shoulder and lifting his chin as he stared at the man.

Hermione half expected Matias to turn and follow his family but his eyes drifted to her, softening from the iciness they portrayed and his cheeks flushing with a slight blush as he offered her a rare smile and then pushed his glasses up his nose, offering her a shy wave and barely there goodbye before he was all but running away from them.

“No offence Mar, but your family are so weird.” James whispered out as Fleamont and Euphemia ushered them off the platform, whispering between themselves and all but ignoring the five teens trailing along behind them. “I mean what was that with Hermione just now?”

“Are you stupid James?” Sirius asked from behind them as he stomped beside Remus who seemed to have found the whole situation amusing and was chuckling to himself. “McKinnon obviously has a thing for your sister.” The three turned around to stare at him in shock before James looked at Marlene, who scowled up at him, then grinned.

“He was talking about my brother but I can’t say I would mind Mi’, if you’re interested.” She grinned cheekily, all previous thoughts about family leaving her mind as Hermione rolled her eyes and Sirius leered between them while James shook his head.

…

“This place is amazing!” Hermione jumped from her place on her bedroom floor as her door slammed open and Marlene appeared with a wide grin, walking into the room without even a care for an invite. “It makes the McKinnon estate look like a pig farm. Why do you have such a big house when there are only four of you?”

Hermione smirked slightly, closing her book and placing it on one of the piles before her. “I suppose it’s for all the wayward Witches and Wizards that end up strutting through our front door and never leaving.” She joked as Marlene nodded her head in agreement. Four people actually lived here, but their friends seemed to have taken some semi-permanent residence.

“I feel like I should be offended that you have never invited me over before.”

“Can you blame me for wanting to keep it to myself for a while?” Hermione joked as she watched Marlene bounce onto her bed and stroke the sheets. “I’m sorry, if it helps I did always want to invite you over and well...I suppose now you’re welcome anytime.” Marlene’s smile fell slightly and her fingers began to play with her jumper.

“Which I might take up…” There were words left unsaid, things about her family that she wasn’t quite willing to share with Hermione yet, but she settled on a grin and turned to face the girl fully. “Why are you sat on the floor...you know if I had this bed I would never leave, what do you need with such a big bed anyway?”

Hermione frowned and tilted her head to the side as she looked at the bed that was perhaps a bit bigger than she really needed. “Huh, it came with the room, I never really thought about it.”

Marlene nodded her head as she pulled herself off the bed and looked around, picking up little trinkets before placing them down slightly out of place with a grin as Hermione frowned and all but followed her around to straighten things. “Seems you and your brother are more alike than I thought - “ Before Hermione could respond Marlene was off again. “It’s very blue in here, I thought it would all be red or extra fancy.”

Hermione frowned as she looked at the walls, light blue and faded damask wallpaper to her bedspread with was a shade darker but still blue, to her old fashioned rug which was also blue. It wasn’t like she had chosen the room, but it fit her now more than she thought it would.

“Well we aren’t as Gryffindor or as fancy as people think, I’m pretty sure the house hasn’t been changed since it was bought.” Hermione explained as Marlene grimaced at the bookshelf she had, full to the brim with extra books on her floor and on her desk.

“Does your room double as a library too?”

“No.” Hermione snapped as she pulled an older book from Marlene’s hand and placed it back on the shelf. “The library is upstairs, these are all my books.”

“We need to get you out more.” Marlene joked as Hermione rolled her eyes, the smile falling from her face as Marlene picked up an old fading and slightly torn photograph from her desk, her own joking expression turning to one of sadness. “Is this your mum?”

Hermione let out a sigh as she moved forward and looked at the photograph, the only one she really had that her Grandparents had let her keep. It was moments like this where she could forget all about Hermione Granger, and focus on Hermione Potter and her own tragic life, her hand lifting to stroke the grinning caramel haired woman as she moved to kiss the curly haired baby in her arms.

“Yeah, Mon Maman, Marie.” Her tongue curled around the words, desperate to claim them while her heart twisted painfully beneath her ribs, trying to beat for someone else.

Marlene gave her a softer smile, reaching out to stroke her arm as she placed the photograph back where she found it, but her eyes remained on the woman. “She was very beautiful, you look like her.”

Maybe Marlene didn’t know what she was saying but Hermione couldn’t help the tears that stung her eyes. All her life she had been told she looked like her Grandmother and their side of the family, perhaps with the softer influences of the Potter blood, but no one had ever really commented on how she might look like her mother.

“Thank you.” Her voice was raspy and Marlene turned to look at her with wide eyes. “I’m fine, it was just nice to hear is all.” Her friends mouth opened in a circle as she nodded her head and seemed to tense up.

“You never really speak about her...or the rest of your family.” You’re one to talk, Hermione thought but kept it inside. It wasn’t like Marlene had gone through the same things and honestly Hermione wasn’t even sure she would be able to relate all that much to the McKinnon’s way of life.

“Not much to say, I’ve lived here since I was seven, I don’t really remember much before that and I don’t need to, the Potter’s have been my parents for a long time.” Hermione claimed, keeping her secrets close to her chest as she moved back down to her books and began reorganising them, ignoring Marlene as she sat beside her and ran her fingers over the titles.

“She’s still your mum though, maybe it - “

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Hermione sighed, those icy blue eyes pulling out things she didn’t want to think about anymore but they twisted inside her, desperate to escape the confines she had placed them in. “I love her, she was my mother but she’s not the only mother I have anymore, I am very lucky I have two people I can call mum and a father who loves a child like they should.” Hermione shifted in her seat.

“And your other...father?”

Hermione didn’t flinch but her gaze turned cold as Marlene all but prodded and poked her in the most gentle way. “I guess all I can be thankful for is that without him I wouldn’t be here, though I suppose that can be taken two ways.”

“Do you remember what happened?” Marlene asked gently and Hermione understood what she was asking and for a minute wondered maybe if this is how Harry felt when he tried to remember, the green light, the laughter and the pain that followed. Except her father hadn’t tried to kill her and Harry was just a baby.

“Not really, I was only three...mainly her screams and the way he laughed.” Hermione whispered the last part, her heart aching again and her hands itching to cover her ears from the phantom noises. “My Grandparents never liked to speak about it especially with me, instead they took me to France and hid themselves from the truth that their insane son had killed his own wife.”

A pair of strong arms wrapped around her, one hand reaching around to wipe her face of the tears she hadn’t even realised were falling, but for once she didn’t care. Her body slumped into Marlene as she cried for everyone; for her mother, for the Granger’s, for Harry and Ron, for mission she had to do, for the death of the Wizarding world and for herself.

…

The redness of her face managed to calm down, as well as the sadness by the time the two girls were called for dinner, and if there was any sign left that she had all but had a breakdown then no one mentioned it and instead focused on the delicious food that Euphemia and Poppy had put together and displayed like a feast before them.

Hermione watched as Marlene stared. A table for ten set up and everyone seeming to know their place, Euphemia and Fleamont at one end of the table, Hermione and James the middle of the table opposite each other, Sirius and Remus flanking James, Hermione pushing Marlene down between her and her father.

“Sorry we are late.” Andy called as she all but ran into the room, passing her scarf, jacket and bag to Poppy with a grin and running to press a kiss on Fleamont’s cheek, the top of Hermione’s head and then Euphemia before sitting down on the other side of Hermione with a grin.

“Ah excuse me, where is my kiss Andy?”

“Behave yourself in front of me, James.” Came Ted’s voice as he smirked at James, kissing Euphemia’s cheek and passing her the baby before sitting himself beside Sirius and Fleamont. Dora squealed in Euphemia’s arm, reaching to try and take something from the plate only for her bottom lip to wobble as she was placed in a highchair beside her mother.

“Oh Merlin, ‘Dromeda, she gets bigger every day.” Euphemia cried, running a finger over the baby’s face, her eyes filling with tears as she stared at the baby. “I can’t wait to see what you picked out for her to wear to the ball.”

“That’s if we can get it on her, nearly a year old and has already decided she hates dresses.” Ted said as Poppy poured him some whiskey, toasting to Fleamont as the older man claimed his attention once again by gesturing to some of the food on the table.

“Now, now, little Dora, you’ll wear it for Auntie Effie, won’t you?” Euphemia whispered to the baby who giggled and clapped her hands together before pointing to something on the table with grabby hands and grinning when it was placed in front of her to be chewed on. “What kind of dress did you bring, Marlene?”

The girl in question stopped with food half way to her mouth, placing her knife and fork gently on her plate and turning to look at the older woman and Andromeda as they stared at her. “I didn’t realise I had to bring a dress.” She ended by looking down at her Muggle clothes, the flare jeans and jumper, rubbing her hands together.

“Oh...oh, Hermione, did you not tell your friend about our Christmas Eve tradition?”

“In all the stress of things I kind of forgot to mention it.” Hermione spoke softly, grimacing as her mother levelled her with a look that sent chills down her back as Hermione offered a nervous smile. “I can tell her now.”

“What good is now?” Euphemia snapped as Andromeda snickered behind her hand, ignoring the narrowed eyed look Hermione sent her instead to feed her daughter. “We have an annual tradition of throwing a Christmas Eve ball, of sorts, with our friends and a few others, it is common curtsey that we all dress formally.”

“I didn’t - “

“Not to worry, my dear, I’m sure Hermione or perhaps Andromeda will be able to lend you a dress from their many options.” Euphemia spoke, looking between both girls, Hermione nodded her head and stabbed at her food while Andromeda smile at Marlene.

“I left some of them here, we can take a look after dinner if you would like.” Andy spoke as Marlene stared at her, a blush appearing on her cheeks as she nodded her head. Hermione frowned as Andy raised an eyebrow and chuckled to herself lightly.

“Good, now that’s sorted, James - “ Hermione chuckled as James sat up straighter at his mother stern face. ” - your friend Peter, will he be coming or did you forget to tell him too?” The laugh died as soon as it started as Hermione shrank back in her seat as the dig sent her way.

“I asked but he can’t.”

“And what of your other friend, Lily was it?” Euphemia asked with pursed lips, turning back to her daughter who shook her head and ignored the sad eyes and sympathetic smiles of all her friends.

“Actually, Aunt Effie, I don’t think they’re friends right now.” Sirius whispered to the woman, leaning across James to do so as Euphemia sat up straight and turned to frown at Hermione, though there was something flickering in her eyes.

“What? What happened?”

“Just an argument, nothing to worry about Mum, we just aren’t speaking at this moment.” Hermione explained shortly with a wave of her hand as Euphemia shook her head and placed her own knife and fork down.

“No, what happened...why would she not want to speak to you, my kind daughter?” Hermione kept her mouth closed and sent a quick look to James as Euphemia seemed to understand, rolling her eyes and sending a quick look to her son. “Let us not worry about it for the moment, tis Christmas after all, and we should be more than grateful for the ones that are here.”

…

Monday the 24^th of December 1973

“Hi.” Hermione spoke, knocking on her fathers open door to his office and rubbing her hands on the silk dress her mother had all but forced her into before she was then forced to socialize with a bunch of her parents friends a few lesser evil purebloods.

“Had enough of the party already?” Her father asked as she entered, slowly closing the heavy wooden door behind her and raising an eyebrow at him as he let out a chuckle and shrugged his shoulders. “I just came to check on some work.”

“Don’t worry Mum is busy entertaining Mrs Longbottom and the other ladies.” Hermione explained, eyes looking around. There had been very occasions where she had been in here, but each time she had she couldn’t help but think of how cosy it was. Small with a desk and a large chair behind, a couple of chairs in front, a fireplace roaring with a family portrait above it and walls lined with bookshelves.

“That woman is too much for me." Fleamont whispered as though he was scared Mrs Longbottom was going to appear and scold his. "Though her son, Frank I believe, is frankly one of kindest people I have ever met - pun very intended." He sent a wink across the table to her as Hermione rolled her eyes but nodded her head in agreement as she sank into her own chair. "Quite strapping too, is he in your year?"

“No, he’s a fifth year, actually he wants to be an auror.”

“What do you reckon? Do he have the skill and charm?” Her father teased as he shuffled around some papers and placed them out of her view, not that she even tried to look. She didn’t feel like being lectured into next year.

“Me and his girlfriend, Alice, both think he will make a fine auror.” Hermione answered his question with a teasing smile, watching as Fleamont’s shoulders relaxed and the smile became a bit less forced, she briefly wondered is this is how David Granger felt when had waved boys off before him.

“Alice…?”

“Prewett.”

“No relation to Gideon and Fabian I hope, I am not looking forward to them joining our auror team next year.” Fleamont let out a sigh as Hermione laughed, the Prewett twins were a handful and so much like their nephews that it made her heart ache and her smile widen.

She grinned at her father and leaned forward slightly, rest her hands on her lap and watching as his face dropped before she spoke and an easy smile appeared. “Their cousin, though much more mellow and level headed, actually I think she’ll make a wonderful auror too.”

“I’m sure she will – are there any other future aurors I need to worry about?”

“James and Sirius – possibly Marlene.” The teasing atmosphere left in an instant and Hermione was left looking at a man who looked like he had swallowed a lemon. “Don’t pull that face dad, you know what he’s wanted to be since he was seven, Sirius and Marlene just love running head first into everything, makes sense they would go for a career in it.” With a wave of her hand he settled himself and offered her a tense smile.

“There is a lot more to being an Auror than that.”

“I’m aware.”

“If anyone would make a fine one, then it would be you.”

“I don’t think I have the take charge attitude that Aurors seem to possess.” Hermione spoke with a shrug of her shoulders, it was never a career she was interested in after all the running away from danger she had done in both lives.

“I suppose not, you have always been the more behind the scenes type.” Her father spoke with a nod of his head and a happier smile, seemingly glad that one of his children had some form of common sense unlike the other. “Well what is it you want to do then?” He seemed curious, like her he couldn’t seem to see what she might do.

“I thought I was too young to decide them things.” Hermione pointed out with raised eyebrows as Fleamont nodded his head at her.

“Hermione, you are, and you’ll probably change your mind in the next year but I’m asking for the minute what you see yourself doing?” Her mouth opened and shut again because there was only one thing she had thought about doing since she got here, one mission on her mind that told hold over every career she could ever have.

“I always thought caring for James and making sure he doesn’t do anything too stupid would be my full time job.”

Fleamont let out a chuckle, nodding his head in agreement as Hermione settled comfortably back into her chair, watching as he quickly scanned over his papers before placing them in a draw and tapping his wand to lock it, eyeing her carefully.

Hermione rolled her eyes into the back of her head and offered him a smirk, raising her eyebrows and ignoring the fact that he clearly didn’t trust her not to look. “Top secret?”

“As it always has been.” Fleamont spoke, raising his eyebrows as Hermione waited for him patiently to explain but he just shook his head at her and waggled his finger with a smirk. “You know better than to be trying to fish for information.”

“Nothing to fish for when it’s in the papers as clear day for everyone to see.” Hermione mumbled she reached for the copy of the daily prophet on his desk, waving it about in her hand and then throwing it back down so he could see the title. “Or for those who actually are paying attention and reading the signs.” She added as her arms crossed over her chest.

Fleamont stared at her between slightly narrowed eyes, his teeth chewing on his bottom lip and Hermione let out a sigh. Most people her age had yet to even be concerned about the growing war, the disappearances and murders worrying them for the total of two seconds before their own life took over and they forgot all about it.

She had been the same in her first time around, so preoccupied by school work and what Harry was doing that everything else slipped out of her head. She had tried to do the same here, but with school seeming so much easier and her brother content to cause chaos with his friends – well it meant her time was more free to focus on the problems and the mission she had yet to even attempt starting.

“Hm, well that is nothing you should be concerned about.”

“No reason I shouldn’t be, it’s only a matter of time before they start talking about Witches and Wizards being attacked or missing instead of just Muggles.” Hermione snapped, her cheeks burning as her father gave her an unimpressed look and let out his own sigh.

“That won’t happen.” His voice was softer than his face, like when he spoke to her as a child, reaching out to try and offer comfort but instead she felt cold and annoyed.

“You don’t have to lie to me, dad, I know it already is and I didn’t have see your secret little folder to know that.” Hermione pointed out, pushing back the discontent in her tone and going for a tight lipped smile.

“You’ve always been too smart for your own good but this isn’t something you should be trying to involve yourself in.” Fleamont reassured her, knocking the wood on the desk and gesturing towards his door. “Now back to the party.” Hermione stood up from her chair and reached for the tarnished door knob.

“I know what I want to do.”

“What would you like to do?” He seemed happy for the change of subject, moving around his notes and cleaning up his ink as Hermione stood near the door, her hand on the handle but she wouldn’t open it, not yet anyway.

“I want to fight.” Her words were whispered but Fleamont heard them clearly as she spun around to face him once more and frowned, her mouth falling open. “That’s all I’ve wanted to do since the moment I came here.” He stared at her in shock, the double meaning falling short as he no doubt tried to picture seven year old Hermione saying the same thing.

“Hermione, don’t say that – you – you have no idea what you are even talking about.”

“My mother was murdered by a deranged man who followed behind him, my grandparents were attacked for whatever reason – people are dying everyday, and I want to help – I want to save them – I want to fight.” Her legs moved her forward until her hands were resting on the other side of his desk, brown eyes staring at him with such honesty that he seemed a little scared.

“I refuse to hear those words come from your mouth again, young lady.” His voice shook as he stood up himself, trying to sound stern but there was something else there instead.

“It might not seem bad now and it might seem like it could all go away in an instant but we both know it’s not, I am ready to do my part and do what is asked of me.” Hermione whispered back as Fleamont shook his head to every word and those strange green/blue eyes became full of anger.

“You are fourteen, no one is asking anything of you other than doing well at school and keeping your brother in check.” Fleamont snapped, before he sighed and sat himself back in his seat and rubbed a hand over his tired face. “I know you want to help, it’s mighty Gryffindor of you, but this isn’t a war I want you getting involved in and if I am lucky you will never have to be.”

The temptation to stamp her foot on the ground was strong but she held it in, it wouldn’t do good to be seen as throwing a temper tantrum right now. “They might not be asking now but they will. This war is going to go on for years, everyone knows that and it’s time to start teaching people how to defend themselves.”

“Your classes will teach you that.”

“People are dying, we can - “

“People will always die and yes it might not be pretty but we are doing the best we can.” It was the truth if she ever heard it but it still tugged at her heartstrings and made her throat tighten.

If she could save everyone then she would, if she knew every detail of the past and every person that died then she would be out there stopping it all but she didn’t, and every moment she spent here, tweaking little things just made the future that much harder to predict.

The future she had been so sure about when a part of her came back was all but washed away with every step she took, every time she tried to get Peter away from her friends, everytime she told Dumbledore what they needed to do. She was making it one step harder for herself to predict everything, except those that might have been set in stone.

“What if I knew a way to stop him?” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and Fleamont was staring at her, no longer angry but actually seeming to contemplate her words. “I can - “

“Hermione, sweetheart, you have a big heart, but he isn’t going to be stopped simply – leave this to the Aurors, leave it to me to keep you safe.” And just like that the hoped died in her chest and her head bowed to look at the floor. Is this how James felt when she told him to drop things, to leave things be like he was some kind of toddler?

“I can fight, I can help win this war – why can no one see that?” Her voice wobbled as the truth stirred itself around her mouth and threatened to unleash.

“Because you but a fourteen year old girl, who is yes, very intelligent, but you have yet to learn everything. You still have four more years at school and are not yet of age – if the war is still continuing then then I won’t be able to stop you but as of now I can.” Fleamont resigned himself to a sigh and Hermione felt her heart ache in another way.

Her parents, the Grangers, had had no idea what was happening in her world, no idea the murders were connected to Voldemort, if they had they might have not let her back to school. And it had hurt that they hadn’t been able to see it, putting down her panicked eyes and jumping at every sound to simply being an over paranoid teenager.

Yet here Fleamont was, trying to stop her from doing what she wanted because he wanted to keep her safe, because he loved her enough to tell her no. Still the stubborn Potter blood ran through her veins as she tried once again. “Age doesn’t matter when he is already inducting people barely a couple of years older than me.”

“So because he does it, I have to do it too?”

“Dumbledore already is.” Hermione whispered as Fleamont frowned again, though his annoyance was for someone else. “Our new DADA teacher might as well be training us for a war, we aren’t learning normal spells and he spends his time lecturing us about the importance of defence, he might as well be Alastor Moody the second.” Hermione cried out, falling back into her chair and glaring at her father.

“Why must you all push me like this?” Fleamont asked tiredly and Hermione shifted with guilt, she didn’t want to push him.

“Good, so James has spoke to about it too.” Instead of apologizing her brain seemed to have other ideas and she rolled her eyes at herself and crossed her arms over her chest as her father let out a much larger sigh and came around the desk, sitting on the other side before her.

“You and your brother...both of you are stubborn and unable to leave things as they are meant to be, and I know you want to help but you can help by keeping yourselves safe and your minds sharp.” He pointed to his temple and offered her a softer smile. “One day, you might be called upon to do your part, and I will have no choice but to stand aside and let that happen but that won’t be for years or hopefully at all – so leave it at that, please.” And that was the end it seemed.

“But - “

“Hermione, leave it please, don’t make us spend our Christmas at odds.” With that she deflated and nodded her head, slumping further back into her seat. Her mother would kill her if she ruined Christmas because she was annoyed her father hadn’t let her go out and fight.

It was so annoying being a teenager. Why couldn’t she have been sent back to when she was seventeen and able to actually do something?

“Now I imagine your mother will be looking for me, let’s go back out there so I can show off my beautiful daughter before she is sent to bed.” He held out a hand to her and pulled her up when she took it, not dropping it as he led them out of the office. “Where is your brother and your friends?”

“They thought it might be a good idea to have a Christmas Quidditch match.” Hermione pointed to the back door where a few cries and laughs could be heard and someone zoomed past the back door as Fleamont shook his head.

“Your mother will kill James if he ruins another set of robes.”

“Don’t worry Ted was with them, so I’m sure it will just be a normal Quidditch match.”

“And you didn’t feel like joining them?” Fleamont asked as they stopped outside the room they were using as a ballroom, the laughter and gentle music coming from inside.

“When have I ever?”

“Never I suppose, now smile before your mother sees that frown on your beautiful face.” Fleamont smiled himself, using his fingers to prop up the sides of her mouth and laughing when Hermione pushed him away and turned on her heel towards the back garden. “Oh and also make sure you tell Sirius to put my firewhiskey back…”She gave him a thumbs up and shook her head as he entered the room.

...

Saturday the 5^th of January 1974

Hermione stood sadly in the entrance of her house, her bottom lip jutting out as she listened to thundering footsteps from upstairs as her friends tries to organise themselves with the help of James who had had his trunk packed for days and had left it behind Hermione to be taken when they were all ready.

She missed it here when she was Hogwarts and missed Hogwarts when she was here. But this had been her house, a place where she could have her own peaceful room and her own space that she didn’t have to share, that was until half of their Gryffindor year seemed to have decided to take residence here.

“Are you still pouting?”

Hermione rolled her eyes as Sirius came from the kitchen. “I thought you were upstairs.” Hermione spoke softly, playing with her jumper as Sirius’ eyes shifted to the stairs and he frowned.

“James took over, easier to let him do it.” He spoke, voice deeper than it was a few months ago and perhaps a bit of stubble trying to come through on his chin, though a bit of his baby fat still clung to his face and his ‘muscles’ that he bragged about had yet to make an appearance. “Apple?” He offered her after a second.

“You’ve already bitten it.” Hermione pointed out as Sirius stared down at the green fruit and the freshly made dent his teeth had left.

“Merlin, you Potters are weird about these sorts of things – you’d think I had like a disease or something.” Sirius scoffed out, sending her a glare as she glanced at him amused. Was he offering the apple to James too?

“Because we don’t want to share food?” Her mouth turned up in a grin, as she leaned more weight onto one side. “Can you blame us Sirius, with all the rumours floating around about where your mouth has been, it doesn’t seem very safe to share with you.” She whispered the last part and sent him a wink to let him know she was joking.

“And I hear I was coming to offer you a late Christmas gift, only to be insulted and I believe… called a whore.” He smirked at her as she shrugged her shoulders and offered him a much sweeter smile.

His words set in a moment later as she played with her necklace, watching him from the corner of her eye as he chomped down on his apple, seeming uncomfortable with the silence as he shifted from from foot to foot. “You got me a gift?”

“Did you forget the other one I got you or were you just so overwhelmed that it got lost in the pile?”

“Of course I didn’t, I was just surprised.”

“Oh well...it’s not much.” He handed her a small square, watching as she turned it around in her hands and pulled at the wrapping paper timidly. “I heard you and your dad talking the other night...well part of it…”

“You were listening?” Hermione snapped, glaring at him, gripping the half unwrapped book in her hands and refusing to look down at it. Her heart was pounding in her chest far too fast and her throat was dry, what exactly had he heard her speak about – why was he even listening?

“Only to part of it and I understand...I want to fight too, we all do, so I saw this in Flourish and Blotts and I thought you might find it useful and maybe it can help to keep us safer.” His voice was softer, more apprehensive as Hermione let her own annoyance wash away to offer him a more timid smile.

Hermione turned the book over in her hand and smiled softly. It was a book on defensive spells, with full explanations that more in depth than what they learnt at school and in their Newt years, with a few offensive ones. Most she had never really heard of, though there were some in there and it was probably far too advanced for most fourteen year olds.

Her arms wrapped around Sirius in an instant as he patted her back awkwardly and she was reminded of just how tall he was getting. He pulled away and offered her a rare soft smile instead of his smirk.

“Thank you.”

“No problem...though you have to promise to teach us, you know, if it ever comes to that.” His hands shifted by his side, like they wanted to reach out again but thought better of it so instead he pushed them into his pockets and tilted his head to the side, tapping his foot gently against hers.

“Of course.” Hermione promised, shifting her own feet but refusing to move away.

There was a heavy moment between them as she looked into those silver eyes, shifting beneath her stare like moving stars, the smile still on his face as he reached up to place a hand on her shoulder, his mouth opening to say something.

“Oi! Are we all ready to go or what?” James’ voice carried from the top of the stairs, Hermione and Sirius jumping apart as she offered him another smile, placing the book into her bookbag on her side and he nodded his head, turning completely to look at his friend.

“James Fleamont Potter, what have I told you about shouting in the house and using Oi?” Euphemia snapped back as she came down the hall, sending a quick look to the two now blushing teens before turning to her son as he all but skipped down the stairs, hair a mess and clothes in disarray. “Merlin, my mother would turn in her grave if she could hear you!”

“I’m sure Grandmother would find me a splendid young man.” James snapped back, craning his head to try and look for his Grandmothers portrait down the hall.

“More like a ‘toerag’ like someone else in our school does.” Sirius muttered under his breath as James’ shot him a furious glare and his cheeks burned redder than a Weasley’s hair and Hermione sniggered under her breath.

“A toerag...never mind, we really must be going before we end up being late...come on everyone!” Euphemia spoke, sending looks to the three teenagers around her before clapping her hands and rushing towards the door.

“And she tells me not to shout.”

“Do as I say, not as I do.” Euphemia scolded, rubbing her sons hair as Remus and Marlene ran down the stairs, looking just as rumpled as James. Hermione wasn’t even going to ask what it is they had been doing up there that had them look like they had just rolled out of bed and pull on the first clothes they found.

“Ready Mrs Po – Aunt Effie.”

“Oh good, have you got everything?” Euphemia fretted around them, pulling on her coat and looking at each of them. “Never mind, I’ll send what’s forgotten or you can collect it in the summer - “ Marlene and Remus looked to each other, mouths open and preparing to say something only to be cut off. “ - that will be easier for everyone, I’ll leave them in your rooms – oh Merlin, let’s go.”

“Just go with it, we all know you’ll both be coming back.” Hermione whispered to the pair, running out of the door behind her mother. Marlene grinned, looping her arm through Hermione’s and Remus looked down at the floor though it wasn’t hard to see his smile.

…

Wednesday the 30^th of January 1974

“Now don’t forget the homework for next Wednesday, I will not tolerate anyone forgetting it or any excuses, that means you Mr Black!” McGonagall shouted as the teens made their way out of her classroom, all the laughing at Sirius as he glowered at the floor, being called out once again for his half-arsed homework.

“You’d think I had personally offended her.” Hermione nudged his shoulder, her eyes more focused on the auburn girl walking in front of her. Sirius ran off to join James, muttering something in his ear and gesturing to the book he still held. Merlin, they couldn’t be more obvious about what they were doing but at least Peter wasn’t with them.

“Lily!” The girl stopped, turning on her heels and her bright eyes widening as Hermione ran to her. “Listen, I know you aren’t speaking to me, but Happy Birthday!” Hermione all but cried with a tense smile, moving out of the way to the other students and handing over the carefully wrapped gift as Lily raised her eyebrows.

“Oh...thank you.”

“Well – you’re welcome.” Hermione nodded her head and moved to head to the Great Hall for lunch when Lily’s hand gripped her wrist.

“I – I – well – we – I - “

“Do you want to talk?”

“You know, I do and I don’t – every time I try and do this I can’t get the words out or you’re around Potter and Black which makes the whole thing more complicated.” Lily scoffed out and Hermione raised her eyebrows.

“Well they are my family and friends…” Hermione answered slowly as though speaking to a child as Lily clicked her tongue, eyes scanning the few remaining people that passed by them without a second glance, too eager to get their food than to notice that Lily and Hermione were speaking again.

“You know, you’ve been a lot more sarcastic lately, adds to the challenge of having a decent conversation with you.” Lily finally snapped and Hermione shrugged her shoulders, her mouth curving at the sides as Lily forced herself to keep a smile off of her face.

“It tends to come out when my family is insulted...but sorry, I’ll tone it down.”

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry – I’m not saying that I didn’t have reason, because your brother is a first class dick but I’m sorry for letting it go on this long.” Lily finally relented as Hermione stared at her in shock, half expecting to have some sort of argument for what James had done lately, her mouth curving up in an unsure smile.

“I suppose I could have been a bit more understanding, maybe told them to ease up a bit… so sorry for that.” It almost pained her to admit it but it seemed to bring a new light to Lily’s face and a soft smile that curved itself into her lips.

They stood there, shifting from foot to foot, an awkward silence settling around them that neither seemed to be able to move past or want to walk away from. Hermione twisted her book bag on her shoulder and Lily picked at her nails.

“Hey...shall we head to lunch?” Hermione jumped as Remus appeared between them, resting his hand on Hermione’s shoulder and sending a quick look to Lily. She had forgotten he lingered behind to speak to McGonagall about the homework. His light green eyes looked between them both, concern heavy and brows furrowed.

“Yeah I’ll catch up.” Hermione whispered back, Remus gave her one last look before nodding his head at her and sending a soft smile to Lily, leaving the pair of them there in the quiet corridor. “It’s been kind of shit not having my best friend around.”

If Lily was surprised with her admission then she didn’t show it but instead grinned slightly and shrugged her shoulders as she mumbled. “For me too.” Hermione tried not to smile back as Lily suddenly turned serious. “I’m not saying things will go back to how they were but… James is your brother and I shouldn’t have tried to come between that, but he’s just never going to be someone I can be friends with or even like.”

Hermione let an amused smile fall on her face as she wrapped an arm around Lily’s and pulled her towards the Great Hall, smirking as she spoke. “We’ll see about that.”