A Vessel Formed

Harry had not liked Severus’ response.

That much had been clear in his expression and yet, he had said nothing. Unlike before he did not attempt to assuage Severus of the notion that he was a bad wizard, person, man. He said nothing in protest and despite knowing that he had spoken the truth, regarding himself at the very least, it hurt.

Severus had not expected it to hurt quite so much.

Harry had always, always told him he was good, but not this time. The silence rang in his ears. Severus did not think he had ever wanted to be a good man quite so badly. Before those words had stung. In truth hearing someone say you were good when all you had thought was that you were bad, for so many years, stung — like alcohol to wound, a skin abrasion where you could feel the cells dying. But this? Harry’s silence? It was worse.

“We should go,” Harry said after too long, longer than Severus thought he could willfully stand, but he had. “Isn’t Narcissa waiting?”

“Yes,” Severus said. He couldn’t summon the strength for more. He stood from where he had knelt and Harry put distance between them, just enough to walk, an appropriate amount, but it still felt to Severus as if he were rubbing his silence in.

They walked through the mansion, trapped in their quiet just as much as they were trapped in the manor, their footsteps loud and lonely in the halls.

Harry no longer marveled at the decor and Severus wondered if perhaps he had already pieced the truth together, if he knew Severus was a Death Eater - or had been.

The solarium was farther away than he remembered it, or perhaps the manor had grown in size like an unchecked tumor. He had suspected, years ago, that the place had a mind of its own and added rooms and hallways as it saw fit. Still, he found Narcissa and Draco easily enough because while the hallways felt much longer the route to the bright, sun-drenched room had remained the same.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” he said as he entered, Harry close behind him, hiding behind his legs, his eyes trained on Draco. It certainly wasn’t everyday that Harry met someone new, let alone a child and another wixen.

“It’s no trouble, dear,” Narcissa said with a smile and gestured to a lavish tea service beside her. “Have some tea if you like. I know you just had some Severus, but I figured Adam might be hungry. Draco usually is this time of day.”

Admittedly Harry was usually hungry at this time and he looked up to Severus to check if it was safe to eat.

“Go on,” Severus said, “what do we say to Narcissa?”

“Thank you,” Harry said and went to the table, carefully picking out a small sandwich as Severus poured him some tea.

“You’re welcome, dear,” Narcissa said and then, “Draco, love, this is Severus, your godfather, and his son, Adam. They will be staying with us at the manor for a while.”

Harry gave a small, rather awkward wave while Draco presented himself with all the stiff, practiced, poise one would expect from a young, rich, pureblood wizard. He gave a small bow of the head and while Harry had been naturally awkward, Draco’s actions were off putting and awkward in the sense that seeing a child do them felt rather odd.

“Hello, welcome to our home.” He said and then looked to his mother as if to ask her if he had done what was expected of him.

She smiled and nodded. Draco beamed and Severus, for a moment, glimpse an alternate reality in which he had been around for Draco’s childhood, had acted as his godfather and watched as the littlest Malfoy went to his etiquette lessons and came back to the solarium to show him and Narcissa what he had learned. He would do his little bows and ask about the tea, inquire about the weather, ask how Severus had been, every little polite thing he had learned and then — then surely he would grow into a monster.

Severus was not an idiot.

For as soft and polite as Draco seemed now, his status would make him a menace. He would grow vain and prejudiced and snide. He would learn that others were beneath him and would glut himself on his own perceived importance. He would swell with pride and use his advanced position to terrorize his school mates. James had been the same, so had Sirius, Lucius, and all of them — Regulus had been an outlier, but any data set large enough had such statistical anomalies.

Severus did not place stock in Draco being one.

“Hello,” Harry said first. Severus was surprised he did. He had intended to speak, but had been lost for a half second in thought, long enough it seemed for Harry to take over.

He hoped Narcissa hadn't noticed his lapse, but that was foolish because of course she had. The woman missed very little. He’d be lucky if she simply assumed he was feeling guilty for missing out on his godson's life.

“I’m Adam,” Harry continued, trying out Draco’s little bow of the head. It wasn’t nearly as graceful.

“How old are you?” Draco asked, his expression twisted into something concerned and Severus would have laughed, if he hadn’t felt oddly offended, when he realized what Draco and his expression were really asking: ‘How can you be the age you appear to be and not know how to properly greet someone of my station?’.

Harry, however, did not catch this meaning and, ever excited about his age, stated quite happily, “I’m seven!”

“Just your age, love,” Narcissa said before Draco could say something awkward and perhaps a bit rude, “You’ll be yearmates at Hogwarts isn’t that exciting.”

“Oh!” Harry said, “Will you be in Slytherin?”

Severus did not speak much of Hogwarts, especially since he knew Harry could not go. How could he what with him and Severus in hiding? Eleven was too young to constantly hold up a glamor and any number of instances could wipe such a disguise away, anti-cheating methods during O.W.Ls and N.E.W.Ts for one. It wasn’t in the cards for them. Harry would be homeschooled, isolated again and again from a world he should have grown up in. Severus felt that old guilt rise up in him.

“What else is there?” Draco said and it was a rhetorical question, plain as day to Severus, but Harry didn’t realize and answered eagerly —

“Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw.”

“Yes but do they really count?” Draco asked and Harry frowned, looking puzzled for a moment.

He’d never met someone like Draco before. Severus knew he was being thrown for a bit of a loop. The obvious answer was of course the other houses counted, that's why they existed, common rooms and all, but it was clear that that was not what Draco wanted to hear.

Harry pressed his hands together, glancing down at them.

Severus stepped in, “Harry has a snake, you know. Perfect for little Slytherins.”

Harry perked up, “Yes! Her name is Snow! Do you want to see her?”

“A snake?” Draco asked, looking at his mother, “But you’ve never bought me a snake and I’ve asked a million times!”

“And I’ve told you, Leopold would try to eat it.” Narcissa said, sounding as if she really had told Draco a million times.

“Leo would not!” Draco said, stamping his foot a bit and Severus was rather taken aback because when Harry stamped his foot he found the gesture rather endearing, but on Draco it looked nothing but petulant. Severus had never been quite so confronted by his own bias.

“Who’s Leo?” Harry asked.

“My crup. He’s very well behaved. He will not eat a snake. I promise!” Draco said, face red - a startling color against his pale skin which he wore like a fine china doll, nothing like how Severus held his own skin, in a sickly pile against his frame.

It had always felt so awkward on him, his fingers yellowing easily with potions, bruises blooming in startling colors. But Draco’s skin, even red with anger, exuded a certain feeling of importance. His skin said my father is Lucius Malfoy and my mother is Narcissa Malfoy. There was no awkwardness to it. Unlike Severus he didn't look like a ghost, out of place and haunting, but rather he looked like a pearl, something precious and carefully made, something coveted.

How could a child, so close to a fit, look so - well, Severus didn’t quite have a word for it beyond pureblooded, well bred, intended. Draco had been made on purpose. Draco’s father and mother had been matched for the purpose of making him. No bright red stain of embrassment or anger could take that away from him.

Draco would never look wrong, not like Severus. And Harry? Well, Harry hadn't quite been made with an arranged marriage, but he’d been wanted and he would have grown up as a little prince, heir to the Potter fortune, a Black as his godfather.

Severus had taken that away from him too, the right to look as if he belonged in any space he stood in.

Severus, who had felt so out of his depth over and over, had instilled that awkwardness into him and now Harry held his hands in front of his body, nervous, unsure of how to deal with Draco.

Luckily Narcissa stepped in, “Adam and Severus will be here for a while and if you get along well with Adam’s snake I’ll think - think - about getting you one, alright?”

Draco’s flushed died down and he nodded eagerly.

“Now,” Narcissa continued, “why don’t you two run off and play, see Adam’s snake and take Leo out for a walk?”

“But the house elves already walked Leo,” Draco whined.

“And yet, I’m telling you to do it,” Narcissa said, “a proper gentleman knows to show his important guests around his estate and walking Leo provides a smooth excuse to do so without being obvious about your intentions, dear.”

Draco looked down at his feet and kicked his leg a little. It was in the direction of the table, but the blow didn’t seem meant to land, only to suggest. “Fine.”

“Lovely, thank you, Draco.”

With that Draco left, leading Harry away. He went easy enough, although he looked up at Severus worriedly as he did. Severus nodded in silent reassurance and watched, stomach wrenching as they left the solarium. Severus had never let Harry out of his sight willingly, not even during his visits with Moira. Since that very first night, that awful night, Harry had never left him when he had the power to stop it and he could now, he could tell Harry to stay, to eat more, Severus could make some excuse - but he didn’t.

For the first time, Severus let him leave.

It was terrifying,

“It’s not good for them to always be under our noses, Severus,” Narcissa spoke and layered gently into her words were a sense of profound understanding. Despite her holding the two of them hostage, despite knowing how splitting them up now would benefit her goals, she felt for Severus. She knew the fear of letting a child go. “They must learn to be independent.”

“Adam is independent,” he snapped, realizing only then how his hands ached to shake. His bones felt as if the fluid between their joints had gone dry.

“Yes, that's certainly what your expression says, love.”

Severus turned on her, angry and wanting to tell her that she had no right, no right at all to laugh at him, to call him out and somehow simultaneously attempt to comfort him. How could she, in good conscience, say such things when she was the one putting Harry in danger, trapping him in the manor? She knew what she was doing. Narcissa knew she was their warden. She and Severus had even agreed upon bail — the return of sanity onto one Sirius (Padfoof) Black. How could she, in light of all that, commiserate with him about raising a child?

“They’ll be fine,” she said and in that voiced a lack of immediate threat from her. They may have been jailed, but it was a soft cell, a house arrest at least for the moment, nothing more. Severus had to wonder how far she would go if things came to it. Would she physically hurt Harry? Could she? Perhaps he would remind her too much of Draco.

No. Severus shook off the thought, it was best not to place bets on the concept of motherly instinct. Narcissa was a survivor, she’d always put her own safety above all else. If she had to hurt Harry she would. But for now, he was safe.

“Of course,” he said. He was tempted to say more, something approved by the tenet of etiquette- perhaps comment on the beauty of the grounds in the summer season and how taking them in would be good for Harry’s health and spirit, some pompous rich people line such as that. But he didn’t.

“Now,” Narcissa said, waving the tea away and motioning for Severus to follow her, “While the boys have their hands full I will show you your task.”

Jumping right into it. Severus hadn’t expected any less from her. He clasped his hands in front of him and gave her a terse nod.

She turned and led him from the solarium, out into the hallway, and then down a long corridor where the sounds of their footsteps seemed to fade into the distance as they echoed on the tiles.

Harry followed behind Draco, wondering what was making the other boy walk so fast. What was the point of showing him about if he was just going to rush about?

“Are you in the main guest room?” Draco asked, catching Harry off guard.

“Main?” He asked. He hadn’t been told exactly where they’d been put inside the castle - or estate; Narcissa had called it an estate. All he knew was that they were somewhere within the building. There were too many twists and turns. Did Draco really live here with his mum and dad? That was only three people. Only three people and a million billion rooms? That seemed a bit ridiculous. He and Severus were only two people and their house had two bedrooms and a bathroom and a nice kitchen and a living room and a little dining area and the potions lab and a small library, that was it and Harry liked it perfectly well. Surely adding one other person didn’t mean they needed this much room.

“Yes, the main guest room, off the East wing.”

“I don’t know,” Harry said, “I just got here.”

Draco made an annoying little scoffing sound, “Honestly, have you never been to a manor before?”

“I went to an old castle once,” Harry offered up, “it was less cool than this one, though.”

“I’d imagine. The Malfoy Manor is the finest estate in all of Wizarding England,” Draco said, drawing himself up as he walked. He took them down a few extra turns. Harry wasn’t sure if he remembered making this many on the way down to see Narcissa again. Although he had been upset while he and Severus had left their rooms.

“Why do you talk like an adult,” Harry asked other than ‘are you sure where you’re going’ which he didn’t think was too polite considering this was supposed to be Draco’s house.

“I talk like a gentleman.”

Harry wasn’t exactly sure what a gentleman was, but he also got the distinct impression that what Draco said wasn’t quite true.

But before he could ask anything else, such as what Draco meant by that, they arrived at a familiar door which opened into the room Harry and Severus had left not long ago, Wus perched on the pillow they had left him on.

Draco grinned, “The main guest room.”

Narcissa led Severus into South wing of the manor, as far from the rooms she had given Severus as possible.

It was a long walk and one she did not choose to fill with idle conversation. Severus figured that she was dropping her act for now, letting the mask of lady of the house slide off her. What was the point of such a thing when she was about to show him a crazed man she had, for all intents and purposes, trapped in her home?

And yes, Narcissa claimed she was the best to take care of him and Black was family, but Severus knew the truth. It was to her advantage to have him, to leverage him and that was worrisome — because it meant she knew Sirius was someone worth leveraging. To whom had she meant to use him as pawn? Was it Severus himself? She had said she knew of no other wizard accomplished enough to wipe so much from his mind, but even still he should not have been the primary target.

Or at least, that’s what he would have thought had she not mentioned the library. That added a completely different dimension, one that implied that she was targeting Severus directly as opposed to using Sirius to get back at the Order, and that was a frightening thought.

“He’s here,” she said, quiet but firm and with a flick of her wrist she dispelled a silencing charm.

The sound of barking, howling, and snarling filled the air.

Severus froze.

“He’s a dog,” he said, looking at Narissa as if she might say that he was just a dog currently, sometimes he still transformed, but he knew that wasn’t the case.

“Has been since he was found.”

Found — someone had found him, likely another Order member, Lupin perhaps, and he had been stuck as a dog ever since. It hadn’t been that long, not really, not even a month, but Narcissa had moved fast. How long would she have been willing to keep Black in her home? A distressed animal.

Severus was careful as he entered, Narcissa close behind. It stank. Severus could tell that the elves had been trying to clean, but they must have been too scared to get close and Severus couldn’t blame them. Black appeared absolutely feral.

He had torn up the bed and pillows and covers, ripped apart the curtains and knocked over furniture. There was a mirror on the ground, tipped over and shattered. Books lay strewn across the floor, pages ripped out and yellowed from marking. The whole room was drenched in shadowed darkness, the only light filtering in through the ruined curtains, casting odd shadows across the space.

Black's nails skidded on the floor, scrabbling awkwardly as he backed away from them as they entered. His ears were pinned to his head, his tail tucked as he whimpered.

This was what Harry meant by everything.

Harry had taken Sirius Black’s humanity.

Harry grinned as he showed off his familiars, Wus and Snow curling up close to him as he and Draco sat on the edge of Severus’ bed.

“I found him in a supermarket, under the shelves,” Harry said proudly, scratching around Wus’ ears.

“A supermarket?”

“Yeah, he was out in the garden section. He was cold and sad and scared” Harry said, scratching around Wus’ ears, “That’s what dad said, but I was too small to remember.”

Draco frowned, looking annoyed, “I don’t care about that I mean, what is a supermarket?”

Harry tilted his head, “Have you never been?”

“No. Obviously.”

“What? That’s weird!” Harry laughed. How in the world were they supposed to get food for this ridiculously big castle? Didn’t they need toilet paper for all the bathrooms they surely had? And what about laundry? Did they make all the soap for the all the beds? He and Severus made cleaning solutions since Severus did not like the chemicals in the supermarket soaps, but they only had two beds and a few clothes. Harry tried to picture a caldron big enough to make soap for a whole castle and snickered.

Draco jumped up, onto the bed, not the floor, making himself taller than Harry. “Stop laughing!” He demanded, but that only made Harry laugh harder, “Why are you laughing?”

Harry had never seen someone else’s face go so red. He clamped his hand over his mouth but couldn’t stop.

“Stop laughing! You’re being stupid!”

“How!” Harry started, but didn’t finish as another wave of laughter overtook him, “How do you get your soaps for all these beds? Do you just have a huge, huge caldron?”

“What? What’s that got to do with anything?” Draco jumped a bit, no doubt to appear angrier but all it did was jostle Harry until he fell over and that only made him laugh more, Wus scrambling to get off the mattress. He never liked it when Harry jumped on his or Severus’s bed. Severus said it upset the cat’s delicate sensibilities. Harry was starting to think Draco had a few delicate sensibilities of his own.

“At the supermarket you can get a whole bunch of soap so you don’t have to make it, especially if you have a billion beds.”

“How should I know where our soap comes from?” Draco said, waving his hands around, “Our house elves do all that nonsense!”

“Your what?”

Draco’s expression shifted from one of aggravation to a prideful sneer, “Oh so you don’t keep house elves. Mother didn’t tell me my godfather couldn’t keep a proper estate.”

Harry didn’t understand exactly what Draco was saying, but he wasn’t stupid. He could tell by the other boy's tone that he was making fun of Severus. His laughter fell away. “That’s not nice.” He concluded, scooting off the bed. He had had enough of Draco’s little tantrum.

“And what should I care about ‘nice’?” Draco asked.

Rude.

Draco was rude.

Ah well, Severus was rude sometimes too and Harry dealt with that just fine. He just had to be what Severus called, ‘a bit Slytherin’. “Because if you aren’t nice I won’t find Snow and show her to you. You said you wanted to see a snake and I have one, a big one, so you better be nice.”

“That’s not fair!”

If Severus had cared about ideas of fairness, at least when it came to bullies like Black, he would have thought right then that fate had not been kind to the man.

And part of him did think that, deep down, the part that told him Harry had been unimaginably if unintentionally cruel. But he was not a good man and so as he looked down at Black, whimpering and cowering, he felt a twist of sick satisfaction curl in his stomach and chest.

This was what he got for meddling in his and Harry’s affairs.

He had fought Sirius off, had warned him, and this was what the mutt got in retaliation. This is what he deserved for trying to take Harry from him. He should have tucked tail and run when he had the chance.

Narcissa’s joke before, where she had said that fixing Sirius could mean a lot of things considering he could change into a dog, rang differently now, colder, crueler. Curing Sirius of his madness entailed much more than memories now. Now it encompassed his whole human essence.

“He was trying to find Harry Potter,” Narcissa said and before she had asked if Severus remembered the Potter boy’s name and he had said no and they had known that was a lie. It had been a lie for Narcissa to even ask. “And he did.”

Severus was silent.

He’d been played, more so than he thought before and perhaps more so than he’d ever been. Narcissa knew exactly what she had in her hands. She had only hidden that in order to lure him in closer, to convince him that the reward for finding the library would outweigh the danger of accepting bringing Harry into her home.

Time to throw away pretenses then, “What business do you have with the Carrickfergus library?”

“The same business my family has always had,” She answered and knelt down, holding her hand out for Sirius, he growled for a long moment but then shuffled forward slowly, sniffing at the air around her. He did not let her touch him, but his whimpering quieted. “The Blacks are an old and noble house. Tell me, Severus, have you heard of Occlumency? Surely you must have given your talents in the other mental arts.”

“Yes.”

“And do you practice?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I will help strengthen you — you and Harry will need all the help you can get. You’re part of a great and terrible secret now.”

“Where did you buy her?” Draco asked, looking Snow over. She had returned to her large size and was winding about the room looking for the best spot to sun. Harry had brought her out and returned her to her typical size after Draco had begrudgingly agreed to be nice in exchange.

Harry picked her up and helped her onto a little sitting area in front of the window where the sun outside made the wood warm, “I didn’t buy her, I found her in the grass outside.”

“You found a huge white snake just outside in your yard?” Draco asked, incredulous.

“Well she didn’t used to be so big,” Harry said, not elaborating on her color. When a familiar’s color changed to suit their owner that was a sign of powerful magic. Severus had told him so. Seeing as they were in a dangerous situation it was likely best to keep his power and potential hidden. The thought made Harry feel as if Severus would be proud of him for it and he smiled.

“I love snakes,” Draco said, reaching out to touch Snow gently and it was the most genuine thing Harry had seen the other boy do so far. He hadn’t even really touched Wus. But with Snow his movements were almost reverent. “But Mum doesn’t much like them, even though she was in Slytherin, even though my father has a tattoo of one.”

“A tattoo?” Harry asked.

“Yeah,” Draco said, sliding his hand over Snow’s scales. She seemed relaxed and content. “I’m not supposed to talk about it though.”

Harry prodded for more information anyway. Severus had told him that people with snake tattoos were dangerous, that a snake and a skull marked them as a Death Eater. He had also already said that Draco’s dad was to be watched, that he was a Death Eater. “Where is the tattoo?”

“Oh,” Draco said, reaching out his arm and showing off exactly where his father’s tattoo was, “it’s right here on his left arm. He keeps it covered up most of the time. I’ve only seen him with it out when it’s just us.

Right where — where Severus’ arm was missing, where a dark wizard had marked him, creating his need for the arm cuffs and for the potion he had taken before that.

Severus, who was the godfather to a Death Eater’s child, who was called family by a Death Eater’s wife.

Harry pictured Severus with both his arms, with a mark on his left forearm, a snake and a skull. He wasn’t sure exactly what it would be like, but the image had come so easily.

And hadn’t Severus told him, told him over and over again, that he wasn’t a good wizard?

Severus was a Death Eater.