Late Night Whispers
James’ eyes blinked rapidly open before flickering closed again. It was still dark, and still definitely time for sleeping.
He was so tired he wanted to go straight back to sleep, but he heard what sounded like quiet voices from the direction of Sirius’ bed.
He rolled over and tried to cover his ear with a pillow, but it wasn’t enough. The muffled voices were still audible.
“Shut up,” he called out, “I can bloody hear you, be quieter, morons.”
“What?!” Sirius’ voice yelped.
James closed his eyes again, unwilling to wake up enough to hold an actual conversation.
“Your silencing spell wore off, make Moony cast it next time, his never wear off like yours.”
There was a beat of silence, and Sirius didn’t object as James had expected.
“James-” he finally started through the silence.
“In the morning,” James said with a yawn, “I’m going back to sleep.”
“Okay,” Sirius and Remus said at the same time, before a muffled “Sonoro Quiescis” came from Remus.
James slipped back into sleep almost immediately.
The next morning, James was up bright and early for Quidditch practice. The morning conditions were perfect, and he even flew a few laps around the pitch after practice was officially over just to feel the wind in his hair.
After he’d showered and dressed, he headed back to the Great Hall. He found his friends at once, and sat down next to Sirius. Peter smiled at him cheerily, but Remus must have been tired, because his eyes were downcast and he didn’t even look up when James arrived, just muttered a quiet “hey.”
Sirius, on the other hand, looked manic. He smiled too brightly, patted James on the back a bit too hard when he sat down, and started putting food on James’ plate for him before James had had a chance himself.
“You must be hungry after all that flying!” Sirius said quickly, “the rest of the team came back ages ago, but they said you were still in the air. Should have guessed you’d want to fly on a day like today. Eat up, and then how about me and you go for a walk once you’re done? Lots of food there, dig in!”
James looked down at the plate in front of him, which was fully laden with all of his favorites - exactly what he would have grabbed for himself, of course, since Sirius knew him so well - and nodded.
He tried to catch Remus’ eye, to see if he’d be tempted to raise his eyebrows to Sirius’ erratic behavior just as much as James wanted to, but his eyes were still downcast, trained on the empty goblet in front of him. James thought his cheeks might have been tinged pink as well, but he couldn’t be sure; perhaps it was just shadows from angling his face downwards.
He settled for shrugging in Peter’s direction. Peter looked nervous, but smiled at James when he had his attention.
James turned back to his food, but he couldn’t focus on it. Sirius’ legs were bouncing under the table distractingly. James had only eaten about ¼ of what had been served to him when he couldn’t take it any more.
“How ‘bout that walk then?” he asked, turning to Sirius.
Sirius glanced at James’ plate then, almost nervously. “Already? Don’t you want to eat more food? Wouldn’t want to be hungry.”
James raised his eyebrows, and Sirius shook his head. “Fine, now is good.”
Peter stood up too, but Remus put a hand on his arm.
“Let’s stay here, I think Sirius wanted to talk to him alone.”
Peter looked helplessly at James before nodding and sitting back down.
James gestured to Peter’s plate. “Enjoy the rest of your breakfast, Pete!”
He turned with Sirius to walk away. When they reached the entrance to the Great Hall, James turned to Sirius. “Where did you want to walk?”
Sirius jerked his head towards the direction of the exit. “Outside, definitely.”
“Lead the way,” James said, gesturing for him to do so.
They stepped outside into the clear morning air, and James took a deep breath. There was nothing like fresh air in the morning. If only they could have whatever conversation Sirius needed while soaring on broomsticks.
They hadn’t made it more than a few steps outside when Sirius spoke. “Mate- James, about last night,” he began, but he trailed off a bit.
“What about it?” James prompted. He assumed that Sirius was referring to his late night conversation with Remus, but he hadn’t caught even a single word, so he didn’t know what there was to be said about it.
“What you heard?” Sirius prompted. He turned to James and raised an eyebrow as they walked.
James just shook his head. “I didn’t hear anything, I don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”
Sirius turned back forwards, as though he suddenly didn’t want to risk making eye contact.
“I mean late, me and Remus…”
His voice trailed off again.
“Yeah, you must have cast that spell, like I said. If Remus had, it never would have worn off!”
Sirius punched him lightly in the arm. “I resent that!”
They laughed lightly together, which was nice, but when the laughter dissipated, the silence was heavy.
“But still, I mean, I wanted to tell you, but the timing was never right.”
James was suddenly confused. He had no idea what he’d been meant to have overheard.
“Tell me what?” James asked, turning to his friend and slowing down.
Sirius slowed to a stop and faced him. “James, what exactly did you hear last night?”
James shook his head. “Just that you guys were talking quietly. I don’t think I even made out any words.”
Sirius’ mouth dropped open in a small “o” as he took this in.
“Sirius,” James said gently, “what was it that you wanted to tell me.”
Sirius stared at the ground for a long moment before his eyes raised to James’. He sighed deeply. “Well, I talked to Remus about it and we were happy you would finally know, so I guess I might as well tell you. Me and him, well, we’re dating. We’ve kind of been dating for a while.”
James was glad they’d stopped walking or he might have tripped over nothing. He’d have thought Sirius was taking the piss, except that his words were so heartfelt and his eyes were pleading.
“What?” asked, unable to think properly, “no you haven’t.”
Sirius nodded solemnly. “Yeah, mate, officially since the camping trip, but on and off before that too.”
James just shook his head. “No, that’s not possible, there’s no way I would have missed that.” He shook his head to try to shake the confusion out his ears. “You fight all the time, sometimes it seems like you hate each other.”
Sirius shook his head lightly. “We don’t hate each other. He fires me up, I think we both do that to each other. I like him so much, sometimes it’s overwhelming and even when I’m mad at him, I still want to be with him at the end of the day.”
James just stared at Sirius, trying to find even one ounce of sarcasm or humor, but there was nothing. James had rarely seen him look this sincere.
“This is…surprising,” he said slowly, “You don’t sound like you’re taking the piss…”
Sirius just nodded. “You can ask Remus, but I promise I’m not. I like him so much it scares me sometimes.”
James turned to continue their walk, and Sirius kept pace beside him.
“So,” James began slowly, “last night,” he cleared his throat, “what did you think I’d overheard?”
Sirius groaned, “nothing like you’re thinking!” he said, “but before that, umm, before that was what you’re thinking.”
James laughed at him and rolled his eyes. Sirius laughed, and James could feel his familiar confidence slipping back into place like always. Sirius had never shied away from this sort of conversation before, so it was somewhat reassuring that he could be cocky about this even now.
“I don’t want to know any more than that,” James said, grinning.
They laughed together, and even though James still didn’t really understand, he felt like he didn’t really need to, he just needed to be there for Sirius. So he threw an arm around Sirius and teased him about it, just as he would if it had been Mary again, or some other girl.