Remus John Lupin sighed loudly, wracking his brains. He knew there was something he was missing—something.
The Hogwarts library was like a second common room to Remus. Especially in their later years—he had grown so familiar with the layout of the fantastical room that he could probably navigate it perfectly in the dark. In fact, he had before, wrapped in an invisibility cloak in his second year, searching for any kind of book about animagi. It had large, almost unending bookshelves that reached far and wide. He stepped up onto one of the sliding ladders, taking extra care of where he was stepping—he was always a bit unsteady, after his ‘time of the month’.
“Alright, Moony?” Sirius Black asked, without looking up from the parchment he was creating a big, thick black dot on. “Alright? No, I am not alright!” He stepped down from the ladder, pushing it away. He stormed over, pulling his seat out and falling into it.
Sirius looked up, frowning at him. “I’m going to fail,” Remus sighed, putting his head down on the desk. “You’re not going to fail,” Sirius deadpanned. Remus glared at him, before returning to his self-pitying misery.
Sirius Black had a way of always being perfect, despite his only real ambition in their seven years at school being to not be perfect. His hair was parted in the middle and fell down over the sides of his face. It was to his shoulders, but on that particular morning, it had been half-tied up. It was a sunny morning. A nice, sunny morning. The birds could be heard chirping and the gentle, lightly chilly air was as crisp and refreshing as ever. Spring in Hogwarts was truly beautiful, if not incredibly wet. It was hard, even in such a magical place, to escape the Scottish weather. Remus remembered how enthralled he had been when he arrived at Hogwarts, drifting across the water on that first night. A small, scrawny Welsh boy, a little bit too tall for his own good, even at age 11. Now, sitting in the library in his last year, sleep-deprived and slightly animal-like still, Remus continued to tower above his peers, in an awkward, lanky way.
"What are you even doing, anyway?" Remus asked, eyeing his company's parchment. Sirius shrugged, glancing out the window longingly. Remus caught this, his brow furrowing. "You can go if you want. I can tell you want to," he said. Sirius had insisted over and over again that he was too tired for practice and would love to join Remus instead, for his early morning studying. Sirius wasn't much of a studier. It was actually quite infuriating, Remus thought, that the ex-Black heir could ace all of his tests without even a minute of revision. Without opening a single book.
"I'm good here. I want to keep you company."
"I'll be fine on my own," Remus replied through gritted teeth.
"Well, I think you should be in bed, prat."
"And how does you being here help?" Remus stood up again, ignoring the dizzy, lightheadedness as he got up.
"My natural charisma does wonders for the mind and body," Black smirked, watching Remus carefully.
"Oh piss off," Remus shot back, clambering back up the ladder.
This time he returned with four, large, heavy books. He dropped them down onto the table with a loud THUD, so loud that not only did Sirius jump, but Madam Pince---the sour, mean librarian---looked up warningly.
Remus ignored her, setting the books out beside each other. "I still think you should sleep," Sirius urged, resting his head on his elbow. Remus swiftly showed him a very rude hand gesture, as Sirius put his hand to his chest in mock offence.
An hour or two passed with short, casual conversation while Lupin flipped through books and took rapid notes. Despite always doing well, he had the overwhelming feeling that he was horribly unprepared and that he was completely useless. This paranoia often came with the moons, though. "Shit!" He gasped, "I haven't even looked at the goblins---" He bounced up hastily. A quick rush of blood went to his head; his hand grabbing onto the table for support. He nearly did a full spin, his head suddenly pounding. Sirius jumped up almost immediately, putting his hand on Remus' shoulder for support. "This is why you shouldn't be stressing, idiot," he scolded.
"I'm fine---" He let go of the table, stepping a few steps further before tripping and grabbing a bookshelf.
"Convincing, really, Moony."
"Shut up."
Sirius grabbed his arm, pulling him back to the table. They'd gone for a table closer to the entrance, rather than Remus' usual small table tucked away in the back. Sirius helped him down into a seat, sitting next to him. Remus rubbed his eyes, his head still throbbing. He glanced back at the books, another wave of stress washing through him. "Moony..." Remus held his head in his hands, sighing again. "Careful, you'll run out of air soon, the amount of bloody sighing you're doing."
Remus flashed him a fleeting, annoyed smile.
Sirius frowned, carefully taking Remus' wrist and pulling his hands down. Remus looked up, the soft touch sending a shiver down his spine. Sirius' pale, smooth hands, his nails painted black and his slender fingers decorated with cheap (as an act of defiance--he would never wear any of the Black family's expensive rings) silver and black rings, slid up, his fingers interlocking with Remus'. Remus felt the other boy's skin effortlessly brushing against his own, scarred hands.
"Why don't you try calming the hell down? I bet you're gonna get full marks already, you swot," Sirius whispered, somehow gently.
Remus met his eyes shyly, a small smile cracking onto his tired face. "Yeah, good idea, maybe."
Sirius wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a hug. A hug that never would've happened had they been anywhere else, but the library, so early in the morning, was nearly completely empty. Remus rested his head on Sirius' shoulder, breathing in and out slowly. Sirius always smelt perfect, somehow, even after sweaty Quidditch practice and after nights spent as a canine. "Padfoot?" Remus asked, quietly.
Sirius hummed in reply.
He smiled into Sirius' shoulder, his head calming down.
"Yes?" Sirius repeated, when nothing else came.
Sirius blinked. Silence. He shook Remus gently, yet still no response. He felt Remus' gentle breathing against his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat against his own. Oh. Sirius grinned to himself---Remus had fallen asleep. "Idiot," he whispered, kissing the side of Remus' head softly. He considered getting up and moving him, but the quiet thump, thump, thump rendered him motionless, enjoying the warmth coming off of the werewolf.
Nobody would come in for ages, anyway, Sirius decided, taking advantage of the opportunity to enjoy the embrace embarrassment-free. A rare moment of peaceful silence.
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