It all started that Saturday night in a game of truth or dare, the whole group was supposed to be there, only moony didn't show up because he had some very mysterious matters to attend (Sirius was sure he was going to see Evan, his new thing)
"ok so, Prongs, truth or dare?" said Sirius eagerly, he was ready to laugh his ass off. Given that none of his friends chose dare when he was the one asking (only after one too many incidents including, public nudity, bubble cough, spider senses and cravings, a close encounter with Cornish Pixies, etc), he had prepared some a little embarrassing questions for all of the present.
As predicted, James said "truth as always, Pads" flashing an overconfident smile that Sirius was waiting wipe off of his face.
with the hint of a grin and leaning back on his hands he said "well, well, Prongsie. would you care to say the name of your first, and in your own drunk-self words "the bestest of bests" kiss?"
he was so sure he had it figured out, James had been so weird about his first kiss and never actually told him, (or anyone, for that matter) no matter how pushy he had been about it. So it could be some popular guy James was embarrassed about and they would all enjoy the gossip, or it could be someone they don't know and still enjoy the gossip, it couldn't go wrong.
except that he didn't consider a third option that was happening right in that moment, James' cheeks getting a mild blush and saying with a nervous laugh "i think we all know who it was" he was even running a hand through his hair Merlin, now Sirius really had to know who it was "then you shouldn't have any problem telling us, i for one, don't know who it is Prongsie, so, would you care to share?" he made a gesture with his hands to entice James to talk.
Mary, who had been stifling a laugh said with a cuckle "oh yes, Prongsie" using the nickname mockingly "please tell us who was that first kiss that still gets you a little too flustered" to that Marlene added "Merlin this is such a secret to all of us, really dying to know" Sirius didn't even process the sarcasm in what the girls said, he was too focused on the fact that he was so going to laugh at Prongs' first kiss being like, Lockhart or something of the sort.
then James is answered with a sigh, sounding a little defeated "it was Moony okay? and i think we can all agree that he's a great kisser" what? "what?" Sirius couldn't believe it "James? how did that happened?"
Mary and Marlene were laughing at his reaction, he was supposed to be laughing by now too for Merlins sake! "It's just a necessary experience, bud, you should try it, stop looking so stiff you know?" said Marlene putting a hand on his shoulder, which Sirius tried to shrug off only becoming more surprised "you too?! you told me you were a lesbian!" said Sirius exasperated, feeling more betrayed by the situation than he should've been, but it was Moony! he kept thinking.
"oh i am, when i said he was my sexual awakening it was more like "Merlin he's such a nice kisser and i still don't like him" and that's when i knew that the problem wasn't if they were good or bad kissers, the problem was that they were men" this made him chuckle a little "so he's actually the reason i first kissed a girl" she said with a shrug.
"why does it get you so bothered anyway? i thought you liked that hufflepuff you were with yesterday" said Lily, and Sirius was seriously trying to not get so suddenly frustrated so he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair as if it would clear his head "it's nothing Lils, I just feel like i wasn't let in on the moony-snogging secret, that is all"
they all exchanged some looks in an awkward silence, getting Sirius a little confused "okay so you're not bothered that they had a thing for moony in the past"
Sirius could only craft a tight smile "no it doesn't, Evans, can we please continue playing?"
She snorted a bit, like she couldn't control it "sure, Black" and so the night continued "Alright, Marls, truth or dare?"
Fasting forward almost a week to Thursday night, Sirius was entering the common room when he saw them near the fireplace
"hey guys" said Sirius with a long sigh while flopping over the arm of the couch onto one of the cushions, he had to make it look dramatic after all.
They were scattered in their usual seats, James and Lily sharing the loveseat, Mary sitting on a single couch brading Marlene's hair who was on the floor. Peter was laying near the fireplace looking at the ceiling with his arms behind his head.
"what's got you like that, Pads?" asked Peter from where he was, clearly biting sirius' bait, giving him silent permission to rant about whatever.
"oh nothing, dear Wormy, only the endless boredom that awaits for me this weekend"
"we have Potions work to do" said James "and Astronomy too" added Lily, both with the same kind of mother-scolding-his-child face.
Sirius craned his head to look at them, raising his brows "that's what i said, didn't you hear me? endless boredom that awaits" his gaze went to the portrait being opened "I wish they could only make us do practical work... oh, hi there Moony!"
Remus had just entered the common room and was approaching them, looking a little off "oh, hi guys" he offered a tight smile when he got close enough and sat down in the same couch as Sirius, so his head was next to Remus lap
"what's wrong Rem?" asked Lily, already worried about him, to be fair, he didn't look like his usual self, but not less cute to Sirius. He had his bag still with him, which meant he hadn't come back to the dorm since this morning, his tie was kind of loose, which was uncommon on him, and overall just looked kind of stressed.
he ran a hand through his hair and explained "i just had to end things with Evan, it got kinda ugly"
Sirius maneuvered to look at him, bringing himself up on his elbow "thought you didn't like him? you told me it was nothing serious" it's not like he like he liked Evan, but he didn't want Remus to be moping around, it would totally ruin their pranks, though now that he was really looking at him, Remus looked more stressed than sad
"yeah it wasn't, but he told me he was catching feelings, which i wasn't, so that's why i had to call it off" Remus says, then adds clicking his tongue and leaning back on the couch "he's a great kisser, so it's a shame."
so he wasn't heartbroken, but to that sirius didn't have an answer either, because his only thought was i bet i'm a better kisser than him. oh no.
Remus was frowning "what now?" looking at him wide eyed
fuck "nothing" it's that the best you've got, black?
"but i heard you say-"
James interrupted with a light tone, like he didn't hear them "things like that tend to happen, Moons, s'just the "moon's charm" i like to call it" he said proudly, like it was the coolest name
meanwhile Sirius felt relief wash over him, he was already blushing and his feet-over-head kind of position was doing nothing for him, but he was still thinking about this whole Evan thing, now James' throwing in all the people in love with Remus?
"moon's charm" repeated Remus in a flat tone, like trying to understand.
Mary then proceeded to explain "yeah, James and Sirius invented that to mock us when the girls and i liked you, i think it was in like fourth year?"
to that Marlene whistled and added "those were pretty dark times for me, saying i liked boys? pretty lame, couldn't be me" she said it with a fake shudder.
Remus didn't say anything, and since Sirius couldn't actually see him from where he was, he tried to imagine what face he was making, but he could now only picture him and Evan kissing, it made him scrunch up his face, he tried imagining Remus kissing other people, now he thought of it, he didn't like that too much either, might be because Moony was his best friend after all... what were they saying?
he tuned back just in time to hear Mary's laugh while responding "yeah but you agreed with everything we said about him 'cause you wanted Dorcas to like you, it was pretty obvious"
to that Marlene proudly said "and like me she did" putting her chin higher and having Mary push her head back into a comfortable brading position while lightly rolling his eyes.
he already heard all about the "moon's charm" and that's because he came up with that name for the thing that the girls (and some boys) had for Remus that year. like they had just discovered the moon is pretty and shiny, but not so shiny it would blind you like the sun, it was a soft, so pure shine, the moon didn't shine to steal the night, only to reveal the beauty of it.
he remembers that time, it got him bothered the fact that they were just recently noticing how awesome Remus was, they were late to it and he was first, he thought his Moony was beautiful all along. he had to get used to it at some point, but his coping mechanism was to laugh at them, needless to say he was still coping. coping as a friend of course.
Mary was at last finishing marlene's braids, and was taking them off again, they really liked doing that over and over again, must be nice having someone braid your hair, he imagined Remus hands playing with Evan's hair, Evan didn't even had long hair like him, it would be much more fun to play with his hair, since Remus could braid it, twist it, grab it, tug at it... he was getting off topic again
just as he was tuning in (again), Remus was saying "is that why you told me you wanted kissing lessons?" kissing what now?
James and Lily started laughing at this, but to Sirius this wasn't funny, he was paying full, very serious atention now
"you should've figured that one out long ago, Lupin" Mary laughed too, even Remus was chuckling a bit, blushing even from what Sirius could see, how is it that Remus has kissed their friends? he has to say something "you kept this from me?" they all looked at him, even Peter who wasn't particularly interested in the conversation.
"keep what?" Remus asked not understanding, his smile falling a little
"all the kissing you seemed to be doing" Sirius was aware of how he was starting to sound, he figured he didn't care that much.
Remus tone wasn't as light when answering "i didn't mean to, it's not like you asked either"
the others were not laughing as much, Lily and James exchanged a glance, Sirius sat up straight and turned to look at Remus; his brows were lightly pinched, and even though he tried to make it unnoticeable, there was a defensiveness in his tone that made Sirius worry he made the wrong decision starting this, nonetheless, he already did it so he might as well compromise to it "you're my best friend, Moony, i thought you would tell me"
"you don't have to know every person i've ever kissed or shagged with" Remus huffed, but still said it in a harder, incredulous tone, looking him directly in the eyes, not leaving room for arguing.
Sirius licked his lips and glanced away getting ready for what he was about to say, did his eyes flicker down? "i'm sure Evan knows all the people you've kissed" he muttered, Remus huffs again rolling his eyes.
"but i guess you're right" Sirius continued louder shrugging like he didn't care, because he didn't care at all, Remus was right, why did he care?
"anyway, why didn't i know anything about the "moon's charm" thing?" changing the subject Remus shook his head lightly like trying not to think about the conversation they just had
James was happy to intervene as always in an unbothered tone "it actually started as a secret joke between Sirius and I 'cause we found it funny that uuh- you know, all the girls liking you being all nerdy and stuff" while fiddling with his tie. liar, you kissed him too
He heard Marlene add "not only the girls, you literally could see Benjy Fenwick drooling when he started attending to your lessons" the other agreed and started to laugh a little again
Remus seemed surprised by this, he had a light blush starting to form over his freckles, he diverted his gaze and Sirius could see a small smirk "oh- well that's funny to know, didn't notice any of that" said Remus, probably wanting to leave the topic behind.
he looked so beautiful like that, acting a little timid and saying he didn't even notice everyone falling for him, and that's when Sirius felt it strange: Remus was too clever to not notice that kind of stuff, he always knew when something was up with him, he kept track of everyones mood in the dorm, and knew the best times to be in and out to avoid messing with things, like Peter in a bad mood, James trying to find something and throwing things around, and Sirius trying to figure out a new spell. even tried to make it clear when they were getting closer to the moon to prevent unnecessary arguments. Remus was smart with people, maybe even smarter than with school stuff, how could he not notice? then, it was like a lightbulb turned on in Sirius' head: was Remus acting he didn't know how hot he was?
"how couldn't you? you're smarter than that" he said with his brows raised, waiting for the response.
Remus looked at him again, not understanding why Sirius was acting like that, and to be fair, neither did Sirius, he just suddenly had this urge to keep pushing on the matter and get to the bottom of it. he needed to know if Remus knew, and now had to think of something quick to answer or else- "now you say it, didn't you and Benjy go on a couple of dates?" Peter jumped in and oh Sirius swore he could've kissed his ass in that moment
"oh, so you knew about Benjy didn't you?" now Sirius had a grin, he didn't like that much finding out about Remus and Benjy though, how did this all happen under his own nose? when did everyone decided to kiss Remus? how many other people had been involved? was this a common ocurrence? well, they didn't have what he and Remus had, what they had was better, just like a romance but without the kissing, just like best friends are supposed to be? oh my god do i- "first of all, Benjy asked me out, i didn't know he had been drooling over me as Marls said" Sirius could almost see his gears turning trying to come up with a better argument.
so he did know, he did it voluntarily, he was that hot when he wanted to, is he trying right now? he sure had to be trying, no one looks that hot with that slightly bothered face, his brows lightly scrunched and one arm over the back of the sofa fiddling with an unlit cigarette, he has to be trying. why did he always had to look so cool? he didn't like everyone drooling over Moony but he couldn't blame them either.
Sirius was starting to panic a little, this ongoing conversation about everyone liking Moony was making him think thoughts he'd like to be kept hidden, reserved only for when he was alone trying to cope with the fact that he might have a teeny tiny little crush on his best friend, a platonic one of course, he didn't want to actually kiss him, of course not.
"oh my god, i remember when i liked you, you always helped with my studying and did things so subtle you knew enough to do it when no one was looking so they couldn't accuse you of flirting!" said Lily accusingly and Remus started to laugh nervously "i was being a nice friend! it could get confused with flirting but-" she interrupted "also you didn't seem so surprised when i kissed you, you were expecting it!"
just as the redhead cracked Sirius' case, you could've heard the simultaneous gasp coming from James and Sirius, for different reasons "you kissed Moony?!" and "you kissed Evans?!" was also said simultaneously
Marlene and Mary were now laughing, and Peter just shook his head and said while standing "imma head out, just please don't bring drama into the dorm, i don't want to have to deal with it"
with that, Lily and Remus exchanged a small glance while waiting for Peter to go, then the redhead tried to explain with a small smile "it was a long time ago James, you and i are with regulus now" "oh i didn't say it because of that my precious Lily-Pad, you and Regulus are the best thing that's ever happened to me and i'm so glad-" James had jumped onto his usual loving speech, but Sirius couldn't pay attention anymore because Remus was now explaining too "i just told you it's none of your business, Pads, why are you being like this about my love life?" he seemed to be getting more annoyed by the second.
Sirius didn't have a good answer for that this time either, but this time he purposefully said "i'm not being any way about your love life, it just seems to be that you've kissed everyone in our group and in our year" he tried to sound dignified but he just made himself look jealous somehow.
"oh, so that's it" Remus chuckled, all annoyance gone, and Sirius turned to look to the others who now seemed to be laughing about something James said, they weren't paying attention to them.
then Sirius stared at Remus starting to really panic, feeling his cheeks start to get warm an a worried look on his face he got the wrong idea "i'm not jealous of you Moons, it's just that-" "that i've kissed everyone but you isn't it?" he said it quietly enough so that the others wouldn't hear, but with a confidence that made Sirius' stomach drop, his lips opened a little in surprise, he could feel the blush going down to his neck and his heart beating like crazy. can Remus hear it?
obviously he could, and this was only a confirmation of what Remus had said, his smirk was still on, now with a new mischievousness in it. Was this really it? that's why he had been so pushy about it?
trying to form a full sentence was becoming a hard task for Sirius "i-" and Remus started laughing, and he looked so pretty that Sirius could only blush more "i'm just joking, Pads, i know you're as curious as a dog" he said it the way you'd lie to someone who hadn't accepted an obvious truth.
Remus then proceeded to go back to the other conversation going on, apparently now about how Regulus actually loves being the little spoon, but Sirius didn't have any time for laughing at his brother wanting to be held, we all wanted to be held at least by someone, smell their sweaters and clean the ink off of his hands kissing every knuckle after; we all wanted to buy that someone all the teas and books in the world to make them happy, and we all wanted to kiss that someone, was his someone Remus Lupin? how come he had given everyone a chance but to him?