Star Child

Moxxie leapt off the platform to grab ahold of a rope as he aimed his gun at the fighting forms of Keenie and his wife falling through the air towards the stage. Not having a clear enough shot, he instead aimed for one of the stage sand bags and shot it. The falling bag hit Keenie in the head, knocking her away from Millie. Moxxie quickly caught his wife and the stared deeply into one another’s eyes as Keenie zoomed back up to begin shooting at the couple. Millie smirked as she held her husband’s face before they began making out. Moxxie made sure to continue holding his wife’s waist as Millie wrapped her legs around her husband and reaching into his pockets to bring out two automatic assault rifles. She began shooting the guns at random, missing Keenie and killing random audience members.

“It’s all starting to make sense now!” Lipton said, unconcerned for the death surrounding him as he focused on the battle before him, “Life is worth living because we only get one! We must cherish it! If creatures far beyond this living world are going through these lengths over my life then certainly it’s worth living. Killing myself is not the answer. Plus, I’m still rich. I can just buy all the things! I no longer crave death!”

The remaining audience still alive smiled and began clapping, happy the old man they were relatively certain was Lyle Lipton no longer would try to kill himself. A stay shot struck one woman through the head, killing her instantly. The other audience members continued clapping, unconcerned with the additional death. Blitzo cocked his gun and glanced around, trying to find Cletus. He leapt onto a hanging metal bar above the stage and notice Cletus also standing on the bar, his crossbow pointed at him. Blitzo quickly turned his gun towards the cherub and pulled the trigger, a click sounded to let him know that the gun was out of bullets. He continued trying to shot the cherub, but to no avail. He stopped to stare at his gun before glancing back at the angered cherub, making a split decision to protect himself. He threw his gun at the Cherub, hitting him straight in the head.

“Oh, you fucker!” Cletus yelled as he clutched his head.

Blitzo watched as Cletus accidentally shot one of his arrows, shooting the rope holding the metal bar up. Blitzo glanced down as the bar then fell, taking him and his employees down with it. They landed on the stage, the metal bar protecting them from any damage the fall would have caused. One of the wooden boards of the stage curved into an arch, lifting the pianist and his piano up into the air. The pianist glanced back at the imps before standing up with eyes closed as he adjusted his bow tie. The pianist lifted up his seat and dropped it to the still intact part of the stage before leaping down onto the chair. The board made a straining, creaking noise before cracking and launching the piano up into the air. The imps and cherubs all watched as the piano started falling over Lipton. Lipton shrieked before moving over the chairs to get away, unconcerned about the dead bodies around him. The piano changed directions as it fell, quickly crushing Lipton. The imps all blinked at the scene before Moxxie turned towards the cherubs with a smirk.

“Well, well, would you look at that? You did our job for us.” Moxxie told them smugly.

The two cherubs stared at the scene in shocked horror, not even noticing that their co-worker Collin wasn’t standing beside them.

“This isn’t over!” Cletus yelled at the imps.

Keenie quickly opened up a portal to heaven from above them. They quickly flew into heaven, only to be instantly spat back out into the living world.

“Whatthe?!” Cletus screeched, horrified that they were just ejected from heaven.

Five cherubs floated down into the living world, all in the form of different animals. All of them had their eyes closed, peaceful expressions on their face.

The deer cherub shook her head, “Mm. Yeah, no. Sorry, Cletus. But I’m afraid your actions resulted in the death of a human. I’m afraid you can’t re-enter heaven. Yeah, no.”

“What?!” Cletus and Keenie yelled in shocked terror.

“Yeah, mmm, sorry. Y e a h, no.” The deer cherub told them.

“Is there anything we can do?” Cletus asked as the deer cherub started filing her hooves.

“Yeah, no.” She said as she stopped filing her nails and giggled, “No, no, no. No, no.”

Keenie shook her head, tears gathering in her eyes, “But-but we didn’t mean to. We would never. It was all…”

She pointed down at the stage where the demons where, only to realize they were gone. Cletus and Keenie stared down at the place the demons had previously been, horrified that their ‘evidence’ was long gone.

“Anyway, sorry guys. But those are the rules. Yeah, bye!” The deer cherub told them, giving the now exiled Cletus and Keenie a dismissive wave goodbye.

The five cherubs went into the heavenly portal, unconcerned about their former colleagues.

“Wait!” Cletus called out as he tried to stop them with tears in his eyes, “But!”

The portal to heaven closed behind them, closing Cletus and Keenie from heaven forever. Cletus burst into tears with Keenie quickly following his example. Both cherubs still hadn’t noticed that their co-worker wasn’t even in the living world with them anymore.

Back in hell, Blitzo called a meeting for the employees of I.M.P, “Well, the old man wanted to live again and we didn’t kill him so we failed. Thanks to those fucking cherubs…”

“Hey!” An annoyed voice called out.

They turned to Collin, the cherub that had taken an arrow for Seren.

“Okay, thanks to the fucking cherubs that aren’t named Collin.” Blitzo corrected before continuing, “He’s probably up there in heaven now so… it’s a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner and now the two are forever separated. And now we gotta face the fire of fucking up.”

“Sir, when are you going to tell the client?” Moxxie questioned.

“Oh, I already sent him a text and we’re in good hands since texts don’t make people angry." Blitzo said with a smile, holding up his phone for Moxxie to see.

Moxxie stared at the phone in horror, knowing his boss was dead wrong. Moxxie glanced outside and quickly moved out of the way just in time as the window shattered. A walkway crashed into the spot he had been seated in moments earlier and Loopy made his way into the office.

“Blitzo!” Loopy called out.

“Loofa, we can explain everything. I was…” Blitzo was interrupted by another walkway crashed into the office, landing directly onto Moxxie.

Another sinner quickly made his way into the room, everyone quickly noticing that the sinner was Lyle Lipton.

“Lyle Lipton?” Everyone, except for Loona, questioned.

“I don’t understand. We thought you went to heaven.” Millie said.

“Heaven?” Lipton asked in amused disbelief as he made is way to stand beside his business partner, “You don’t make millions in technological advances in robotics by not experimenting on the poor!”

“Oh, you no-good heartless son of a bitch!” Loopy said to Lipton happily before turning back to Blitzo, “Thank you for reuniting me with my bestfriend!”

“The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we’re in hell?” Lipton questioned.

Everyone jumped, startled by another imp crashing through the ceiling.

“Did someone say, I say, inventors? Name’s Wally Wackford and I am looking for creative new people to exploit! I mean, employ.” The imp, Wackford, said.

“Everyone! Stopfuckingupmywalls! Moxxie’s gonna have to fix all this shit!” Blitzo yelled.

Seren, Vortex, and Collin all turned to see Moxxie foaming from the mouth.

“Ah, chill out, Moxxie. If you kiss my ass any harder, you’ll go right inside me.” Blitzo told Moxxie, “Satan’sballs, first we have to deal with heaven’s table scraps now this.”

“I guess, you can say, you say, you have a… holey operation here, Blitzo.” Wackford joked with a laugh.

Everyone else didn’t find his joke at all amusing and just stared at him in silence.

“Get out.” Blitzo sighed.

Wackford fell onto the ground, continuing to laugh at his stupid joke, “Hole! I say, hole!”

“No, I’m serious. Get the fuck out!” Blitzo yelled.