Chapter 4
I feel worthless
I might just be unable to help
I couldnt sleep last night
Again
Im keeping myself up again
I cant let myself sleep
It feels like torture
Maybe thats why i do it to myself
I cant hold on anymore
Harry Potter woke with a headache. He would have normally ignored it, but he didnt want to go to classes again. He could tell anybody who asked where he was that he went to the hospital wing, so it wasnt a big deal to skip. Madam Pomfrey would be okay with it. Probably, he thought wryly. It all depended on her mood. Stretching out of bed he put his robes on and headed out.
He must have only taken but a few steps until he turned back. If Malfoy was really up to something hed need his invisibility cloak and map. Shoving those two items into his bag he wandered about, his feet unknowingly taking him to the astrology towers.
Harry sat down upon the stone, legs dangling over the edge. It was just at this place two years ago when Dumbledore had met his demise. The look on his face as he toppled over the balcony, the empty gaze, the shriveled hand, his last words.. all of which Harry couldnt forget. He shivered uncontrollably. Brought back to the night when it all happened. When he first felt the realness of it all. He felt sick and tried to channel his thoughts elsewhere.
Dumbledore had raised Harry to die. But there were good parts of him too. Harry couldnt forget the kindly twinkle in his eyes as well, the fact that Dumbledore had really been his first mentor, his first person to really look up to. Besides Hagrid.
Where was Hagrid? his thoughts rambled. The last he had heard from him he was in France with Madame Maxime. A grin spread across his face as he remembered Hagrids blush when he told Harry where he was going for the next bit or so. Harry stretched, feeling slightly calmer. Now he could check on Malfoy.
Unrolling the map, Harry traced Filch’s dot, not wanting to be caught by the antagonistic janitor of Hogwarts. Thankfully both Filch and his cat were in his office with a Katy Abbott. Hannahs sister, maybe? It didnt matter. Malfoy was the object of his search, not some first- year. He furrowed his brow, trying to find the elusive blonde.
His thoughts wandered yet again. Malfoy must be up to something, he decided. He looked skinnier, paler, much like when they were in sixth year. And the other night, the blood on his hand? Something was off about that. He couldnt confide in anyone, which was the hardest part. Ron and Hemione were obviously not interested, and Ginny was upset at him after he broke up with her.
He couldnt tell anyone why he broke up with her, either. The main reason was that he himself didnt know. There was something missing. He just thought of her as a sister but he knew there was something else, something he just couldnt pinpoint.
Reaching down to look at the map he heard a muffled cry. Shit. He thought. The is definitely what was being planned and i didnt help at all. More people will get hurt and its my goddamn fault! He heard somebody running to the towers. Harry pulled the invisibility cloak over his body, ready to accost whoever was halfway up and getting closer.