Chapter 13
Harry didn’t know what to expect when he opened his eyes this time but it certainly wasn’t the grounds of Hogwarts, just a few paces where he landed the first time. He looked down at himself confusedly then back up at his surroundings.
The only indication that he had moved at all was that now the sky was a dreary grey colour with pitch black clouds dotting the horizon. He could see thin threads of lightning cut through the grey before being accompanied by the roaring clap of thunder.
If the students nearby noticed that Harry had suddenly showed up, they didn’t make it obvious, though they all seemed too preoccupied in getting indoors before Scotland showed off its impressive storm brewing skills.
Harry scurried in after them, wanting to check in again timewise before going back for it. The first spin was uncalculated and large considering the time jump he made but this time he made sure it was quite light as he only provided enough force for it to rotate a few times before being sent off again.
He stepped through the courtyard entrance right when he felt the first drop of rain on his arm and just sort of ambled down the corridor, hoping to maybe run into Luna again or catch a stray copy of the Prophet on the way.
His arm didn’t hurt and neither did his head and he made a mental note of sending Madam Pomfrey a box of chocolates for all her hard work.
He thought about how his parents felt right now, were they worried? Frightened? He had to admit that he felt a bit guilty about how he went about it all but the accident couldn’t be attributed to anyone really. It was as if Merlin had extended aged hands towards the time turner and spun it himself, ready to make the decision that they would never have resolved on their own.
A strange part of him felt petrified and a horrible thought niggled at the back of his mind…were they happy he was gone? I mean, they never knew Harry, he was practically a stranger in every sense of the word and they were sort of forced with him based on familial relations and confusing circumstances. He had also been rather unpleasant lately, somehow reverting back to a child with a proclivity towards dramatic outbursts and tantrums.
This time he didn’t smile or wave at any passerbyers, he just wistfully watched the grass bend under the steady beat of rain and knew that the greenery would still be there while the clouds would simply dissipate after the storm as if they had never been there at all.
______
Harry’s opportunity to gain information presented itself in the form of Draco Malfoy in the same corridor he was walking down. He was alone, no sign of his usual cronies, but he looked much the same as before which was a good sign that he hadn’t shot himself into first year.
When Draco looked up at him and saw his approach, he made no move to respond, just clutched his bag closer to his side and averted his gaze, hurrying down the deserted corridor.
“What is it? Cats got your tongue Malfoy?” Harry called out when they were a few paces apart.
“Sod off Potter” he spat harshly.
“Really? You haven’t come up with anything better in the past, say how many years have we known each other?” he wondered aloud, setting his gaze heavily on Malfoy.
He scanned Malfoy quickly, green eyes darting over his form, and his eyes caught on a strip of white on his left wrist.
“Too many,” he grumbled, readying to step away again.
“Humour me,” Harry tried to say lightly but he could hear the undertone of pleading clearly even in his own voice.
Malfoy just narrowed his eyes at him before stepping past him and Harry instinctively threw his hand out, wrapping it around his wrist to halt his escape. He was so accustomed to touching Draco intimately that he hadn’t even thought to consider the repercussions of such an action.
He jumped as if burned and tugged his wrist back harshly. He drew a wand on Harry, pushing it threateningly into his throat and Harry quickly put his hands up in surrender as he choked under the force with which Malfoy pushed.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Malfoy spat.
Harry was able to rapidly piece it together now. The skittish demeanour, the pale skin that was stretched tightly over jutting bones, and panicky distress only meant one thing.
As Harry glanced at Malfoy’s left wrist again, he saw the white bandage had turned red and the liquid was dripping through the cloth and onto the stone floor beneath him. He didn’t even think he had grabbed him particularly hard but he remembered Malfoy’s tendency to pick and scratch at his arm until it bled.
“Your wrist,” was all Harry could say before Malfoy dropped his hold and looked down at his arm.
He looked up at Harry with fear before covering it with his right hand.
He had likely just received the dark mark so it must have been early on in sixth year- he was getting closer.
“Are you okay?” Harry found himself asking. The real Harry of this time wouldn’t have asked, especially remembering the way Malfoy had kicked his arse on the train and left him for dead but he couldn’t help himself.
None of that seemed to matter anymore as he saw the fear written clearly in Malfoy’s features and Harry ached to smooth them away.
They had liked each other then, they had told each other as much. Harry’s obsession with Malfoy extended beyond just wanting to find out if he was a death eater and Malfoy’s hatred for Harry was more than just a rejected handshake. They fought as much as possible for years to avoid the magnetic attraction that built between them but it only made the instant they gave in that much more euphoric.
Draco lifted stormy eyes onto Harry before stalking past him, uncaring about the trail of blood he left behind.
Harry vanished it quickly as he watched Draco reach the end of the corridor. He paused just on the cusp and caught a glance of Harry in his peripheral, still standing there, before proceeding out of view.
Harry took a deep breath then, grounding himself as he realised that it would likely only take one more spin before he was where he needed to be. Before he would go back to the Department of Mysteries and be face to face with Sirius again.
His maelstrom of dramatic thoughts was cut off by the growling of his stomach and an absurd idea came to him.
“Dobby?” Harry whispered aloud uncertainty.
The small elf appeared in front of him with a pop and Harry had to fight back a manic laugh at the sight.
“Mr. Potter is needing Dobby, Mr. hasn’t called Dobby in a long times!” the elf cheered at the prospect of being able to help Harry and his heart twisted.
“I missed mealtime today and I was wondering if I could come down to the kitchens to grab a bite?” he asked lightly.
The elf gasped, clutching a hand to his heart, “Mr. Potter never needs asking Dobby to eat! He’s is looking too skinny, come with Dobby!”
The elf led the way to the kitchens and Harry dutifully followed, crouching through the small entrance into the underground kitchens and emerging in the cavernous chamber.
The space was full of low tables and large groups of house elves, and Harry felt himself laughing again.
He watched as house elves rolled on top of mounds of dough as makeshift rollers, stomped around in jars of grapes to make juice, and hit each other with pieces of meat to tenderise it.
“Come, come!” Dobby ordered, pulling his sleeve and he dragged Harry to a small table that was, thankfully, normal-people sized and he sat down, ready to eat whatever they would offer to him.
The small elf scurried away and reappeared a moment later with a plate piled high with spaghetti and meatballs, asparagus, and garlic bread.
Harry genuinely didn’t think it would work if he called on Dobby. He just thought that if he could run into Malfoy again then maybe he would get to see another familiar face. As he had that thought, Dobby caught him staring and goofily waved at him and he couldn’t help smiling back.
The small elf was quick when he dashed back to Harry once he had finished his meal, quickly replacing his empty plate with one of treacle tart.
“I can’t” he spoke, rubbing his stomach and stretching longly for emphasis.
“You’s must eat dessert or else the meal isn’t being over!”
Harry couldn’t deny his logic and he eagerly finished that as well.
He was rapidly on the way to a food coma…”Hey Dobby, what day, date, and time is it?”
“The time is being 11:04, 4th September 1996 and it is Thursday,” he supplied helpfully.
Harry considered that for a moment.
________
Harry did not miss the steps up the Owlery at all whatsoever.
Each time he went up it was a massive trek requiring focus, shoes with traction, and determination. The rain didn’t help and Harry’s feet kept slipping every other step and he was horrifically reminded of the time he had tried to ask Cho to the Yule Ball and was subsequently rejected.
When he reached the top, he was literally heaving and he had to take a long moment to catch his breath as he was doubled over with his hands on his knees.
Once he had sounded somewhat like a person with a healthy heart, he straightened back up and swept his gaze across the dozens if not hundreds of perches in front of him until he caught on an owl with a coat of pure-white feathers.
She was a bit like Malfoy, a shock of white hair among a sea of ordinary colours, a pearl amidst a sea of sand.
She flew straight to Harry and landed on his outstretched arm and Harry hesitantly lifted a finger up to her head, running a knuckle along the delicate feathers there. She shut her eyes happily and cooed, nuzzling up closer to him and Harry couldn’t help the way his heart flipped at the sight.
He missed Hedwig dearly and it was hard to buy a replacement owl for her after she had passed. She was his first companion in the Wizarding World and was another being that had died for him over the course of his life.
He grabbed a treat from the charmed bag that sat there and gave it to Hedwig lovingly.
“I missed you,” he whispered and she just continued to nibble on the treat in his outstretched hand.
He knew she didn’t understand what he was saying but he hoped that she at least understood how much she loved him.
He knew he couldn’t linger for much longer if he wanted to continue with the plan he had made in the kitchens so he bid Hedwig goodbye before turning away and making the trip all the way down before going all the way back up again in another tower.
_______
“I’m literally Harry Potter,” he groaned. “You know me!”
“Anyone can be anyone” the Fat Lady humphed, crossing her arms and turning away.
“I forgot the password,” he complained but she didn’t budge.
He collapsed on the stone floor then, leaning against a stone pillar and resting his forehead on his knees.
He had almost given up hope when the sound of running feet stirred him and he looked up to see Neville running towards him.
He had never been so grateful to see him before as he jumped up, “Neville!”
“Hey Harry, what are you doing here? You were just in class, how’d you get here before me?” he asked confusedly, out of breath as well.
“Took a shortcut, I can’t remember the password and she won’t bloody let me in,” he explained, shooting her a glare.
“Oh don’t worry about that, I forget it all the time,” he smiled, digging around his pockets before pulling out a wrinkled sheet of parchment.
He cringed and looked at Harry, “I know I’m not supposed to write it down but it helps,” he turned towards the portrait again, “Wattle brush.”
The woman grinned widely before swinging open, allowing them entrance.
They both dashed up and Neville ran straight for his trunk, he must’ve forgotten something for class.
“Did you forget something too?” he asked, his voice muffled seeing as his head was all the way in his trunk now.
“Er, yeah” he answered before he went straight into the restroom and shut the door firmly.
He just stood there until the rustling noise stopped.
“See you in class Harry!” Neville called out and then he heard the click of the door shutting.
Harry exhaled deeply once before exiting the restroom and making for his true destination- his bed.
He stared at his bunk like it was a luxurious mattress of goose feathers and comforting charms and dove right in under the blankets, just barely kicking his shoes off before his head hit the pillows.
He was bloody knackered and thought a nap shouldn’t hurt too much. He didn’t want to be falling asleep mid-duel anyways would he?
It was only seconds before he fell asleep, face squished against the pillows and glasses digging into his ears.
________
“I did it!” a voice hollered through the flames, scaring Lily and James out of their stupor.
Then there was the sound of clambering footsteps out of the floo charging through the receiving room and into the foyer.
“Harray!” Ron shouted, stretching out the vowel, accompanied by the sound of female laughter.
James left his room and staggered to the staircase where he saw Ron and Hermione spinning around trying to locate signs of life in the house.
“What’s going on?” James asked a bit tiredly, rubbing his eyes and straightening his sleeves. He was practically living in his pyjamas now, as was Lily.
They couldn’t quite find the motivation to do much of anything anymore and it seemed that included notifying Ron or Hermione of what had happened.
“Is Harry around? I know I said I wanted to plan a whole thing but-” he babbled but was cut off by Hermione extending her arm up and showing off the glimmering gold ring on her finger. It was a simple gold band with a large ruby set in the centre with two smaller diamonds on either side. It was quite beautiful, James thought.
He felt himself smiling, the tired muscles in his face straining from the effort after he’d only been frowning for the past two days.
“That's wonderful Ron, congratulations you two,” James commended, “Lils?” he called out a bit louder.
She didn’t respond and really, James hadn’t expected her to.
“Where’s Harry?” Hermione asked a bit breathlessly, her eyes darting up to the stairs as if expecting him to walk down them any moment now.
James didn’t know how to do this, how to break bad news like this to his son’s best friends and he felt a bit of how Harry must have felt telling him and Lily about the fate of all of their friends- it was horrifying.
“I think we need to have a talk,” James said, leading them towards the sofas.
They were furious at the the audacity of Harry not to tell them but their fire was instantly doused when they learned of the grim prospects for the future
He understood what it was like to want to celebrate something but the one person you wanted to share the news with wasn’t there anymore…
All they could do was wait.
_______
Harry was woken up with a brutal slap to the face.
He was startled awake and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw his own face staring back at him in shock.
Shite shite shite.
“What the fuck?” other-Harry asked.
Harry didn’t know what to do as his brain short-circuited.
“I- erm- uh,” he spoke out dumbly.
Other-Harry didn’t seem pleased as he held his wand out to him but he didn’t hex him. He thought the slap was a bit brutish but effective as he rubbed his cheek.
He slowly crawled out of bed as other-Harry stared at him, just following his movements with his wand. It would seem neither of them knew what to do in a situation quite like this.
Suddenly, Harry pulled out his wand from his sleeve and shot other-Harry with a hex, instantly making him fall asleep but he realised he should’ve thought it through a bit more because he instantly slumped onto the floor with a loud thump.
Shite.
He pulled on his shoes and straightened his glasses before approaching other-Harry.
Is that really what his hair looked like from the back?
He shook himself, forcing himself to focus. He could either leave him be or obliviate him?
Harry had so much crazy shite happen to him that he just let other-Harry be and Harry wracked his own mind to see if he possibly remembered this moment and seeing as he didn’t, it should be okay. Though now he was seeing this moment, so he does remember it, but he didn’t remember it in the moment so-
Cutting that convoluted stream of thoughts off, Harry just levitated himself onto the bed and shut the curtains firmly.
He quickly pulled out the time turner and knew that this spin would determine the outcome of the rest of his future really.
His fingers shook uncontrollably and he held the time turner up and he felt his eyes water a bit at just how overwhelming the situation was. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to draw up as much power as he could from the depths of his soul.
He had walked headfirst into danger before but this was one of the few times he didn’t even have Ron or Hermione by his side and he found a newfound appreciation for his friends that he already loved so dearly.
He took a deep breath, steadying himself and planting his feet firmly into the floor before giving the time turner a good spin and nothing could have prepared him for the whirlwind that overtook him.
_______
When Harry opened his eyes, he felt panic seize him, rendering him immobile.
He was lost in the abyss. The same abyss where vanished things go- that was the only way to explain the weightlessness that he felt as he floated through a sea of darkness.
He lifted an invisible hand to his face and he felt his own features under it, the glasses atop his nose, and the clothes covering his body and was reassured by the fact that he was still in one piece.
When he slowly turned his head around, he cried out as a big blue mass hurtled towards him, barely giving him enough time to duck out of the way. As he watched its form slowly disappear in the distance, he realised it looked a bit like the planet Neptune.
As he slowly twisted his body mid-air, he saw the rest of the planets circling around the space, massive spheres of all different colours all spun around in unison and he only had a moment to marvel at the spectacle before he realised that he had done it, he had bloody done it .
He whooped aloud rather embarrassingly, pumping his fists in the air as his feet slowly overtook his head and he spun upside down, his stomach flipping with the motion.
But that also meant, he had to move now . He spotted a small door tucked in the lower left hand corner of his peripheral vision and pushed off of Mars to propel himself towards it. As he neared it, he shouted a blasting spell that pushed the door open and gravity quickly took a hold of him as he was promptly pulled to the floor, landing on his stomach and all other vital organs.
It was a maelstrom of noise when he looked up. Various doors around the circular chamber were thrown open and his friends were in various states of distress- Luna was blasted into a room unconscious, Ron was being attacked by a brain, and Ginny was shot with a hex to the face, just to name a few.
Death eaters surrounded them and the hexes thrown from both sides created a beautiful medley of colours that contrasted darkly with the heavy scent of sulphur in the air.
Harry rolled over quickly and stood up, ready to defend himself.
At the same instant, he caught sight of himself bursting into the Death Chamber and Harry followed him in quickly, only using a Shield charm around himself on the way there. He wished he could have stopped himself, pulled him back from ever going into that cursed room but he supposed that was the curse of knowing the future.
He was lost in the groups of people that burst in after them, death eaters and friends alike. Other-Harry ran down the steps towards the main area of the room while he remained on the sides, remembering Dumbledore’s words to not include himself in the melee.
A burst of noise to his right had him turning to see the members of the Order suddenly appearing all around the room in bursts of white light. Among them all, he saw Sirius land directly next to other-Harry while Remus was a few paces away with the others who wore matching expressions of grim determination.
He couldn’t help the overflow of emotions that spilled through him at the sight of them but the fighting instantly escalated at their arrival. Spells were thrown, people were shouting at each other, and others paired up as they fought against the relentless onslaught of death eaters.
It was odd to watch the fray from an outside perspective, to see what he looked like while fighting while also getting to see what everyone else was doing. He saw Neville jamming a wand into the mask of a Death Eater while Kingsley wrestled with a Death Eater all the way on the other side of the chamber. He scanned the scene until he saw Remus powerfully duelling two death eaters at once and he wished he had a chance to go up to him, hug him and thank him one last time. All he could do was watch them all and burn their faces into his memory as they fought valiantly for a world they believed was worth saving.
They all fought with such fervour and passion that Harry couldn’t help but appreciate the magic of the Wizarding world and the way that winning a fight required effort and finesse, nothing like the way muggles fought with metal machines that required little to no precision.
Harry was unfortunately brought into the fight when a death eater was blasted away from his opponent and landed squarely next to Harry by the outer walls.
He was about to scramble out of the way but he had already latched onto Harry’s ankle, refusing to let go. Harry twisted awkwardly to stomp on his arm but the man pulled harshly on his leg, sending Harry to the ground and his face connected with the stone floors with a harsh crack and his mouth filled with the slick copper taste of blood.
He tried to free himself but his attacker, who he suddenly identified as Macnair, jumped atop Harry, pinning him down with his burly body. His face split into an ugly grin that revealed rows of bloody teeth when he realised who was under him.
He thrashed desperately, hoping to escape the clutches of Macnair while trying not to draw any attention to himself. He spun them around so that Harry was on top and he clasped both of Macnair’s shoulders, pulling him up just to push him back down with such force that his head connected with the ground with a crunch and blood pooled as his eyes lulled shut.
Harry didn’t linger as he looked up and saw Sirius and Other-Harry fighting against two death eaters. He slowly crept closer, knowing that the moment was building, and he dodged against his friends, not caring who saw him anymore.
Amidst it all came the unmistakable line from Sirius, “Nice one James!”
Harry’s steps faltered as he tripped on his own feet. He looked up at the raised dais in the centre and knew that Other-Harry’s expression mirrored his own. That was the exact line that haunted Harry’s dreams at night, that shocked him to his very core the first time he said it and continued to reverberate in his bones.
He circled and climbed up the steps slowly until he was just on the other side of the veil. He always thought that the veil was see-through, just a shimmering cloth swaying with the force of an invisible wind but it was fully opaque, an impenetrable cloth of grey masking the horrors that lay within.
Bellatrix landed from her flight around the room with a cackle and Harry knew this was it.
He quickly pulled out the device that he made sure to put in a different pocket so as to not confuse himself and stepped around the archway on the side closest to Sirius.
A stream of red light shot out of Bellatrix’s wand the instant Harry wrapped his arm around Sirius’ and he couldn’t do anything except close his eyes as the impact of the spell hit him like a freight truck.
They had made it out of the fight but at what cost? Harry couldn’t tell as he felt himself being pulled apart and his hand lost grip on Sirius’ arm as they hurtled through time.
‘Please’ was the only thought Harry could form before his brain emptied and his body fell limp.
_______
It had been ten days without Harry.
James was rapidly losing his grip on reality.
What would it have been like they hadn’t been brought to the present? They would have been dead of course but where would they be ?
While every religion or mode of spirituality had their own beliefs as to what happened after death, nobody could know for certain.
James liked to think he would be at peace. He would be with Lily, Remus, and Sirius, of course. He hoped Regulus would be there as well, waiting for him with open arms, did he miss James as much as he missed him? He liked to think so.
He didn’t even know what day it was anymore as he looked out the window. When he saw orange on the horizon, it took him a long time to decipher whether the sun was rising or setting.
He remembered vowing to stay strong for Lily, Draco, and Harry’s friends but he had reached his limit. He couldn’t do anything but sit blankly on his side of the bed, counting the number of lines on each plank of the floorboards.
Kreacher sent up food only to collect it an hour later, cold and untouched.
Lily was…okay. She wasn’t doing well by any means and often slept in Harry’s room, cradling his pillow close to her face. They didn’t speak much lately, everything sounding empty and meaningless.
James never thought it possible that he would be grieving his son so soon after ‘meeting’ him. He never knew what a blessing that drunken boy who hobbled up the stairs, laughing in their faces the night they arrived would be.
He and Harry were so close in age that he thought they might end up with an odd sort of brotherly bond but it was far from it. James fell into the father role rather easily, maybe it had something to do with taking care of Sirius for so many years or watching Monty and Effie easily accepting all of his friends into their small family but he already knew that he would die for Harry if need be. He would do anything for his son.
Lily suited the role of mother so well that James couldn’t help but marvel at her. The way she treated Harry with such tenderness while never babying him. She recognized the fire that burned in him as the same as hers and she continued to nurture it rather than snuffing it out.
They are Haris’ parents.
Or perhaps, they were .
Their hope was rapidly dwindling but the days never got easier.
McGonagall stopped by after a week had passed.
“Albus believes something must have gone wrong in the process. You two landed here instantly after you were attacked but Harry has yet to come back…though we can’t say for certain, he believes that we should manage our expectations.”
James couldn’t remember breaking the table that rested between them or kicking a hole in the nearby wall. He didn’t remember breaking his hand as he punched a mirror, shattering it and embedding glass in his hands in the process.
He just remembered McGonagall’s tender hands healing his slowly while tears fell from her eyes onto the ground beneath her.
If this was a week without Harry, what would a lifetime be like?
He shut his eyes as another pointless day passed and for the first time, he didn’t think about what tomorrow would hold, not caring whether or not it came at all.