Measured Love

Harry

Harry smiled down at the small bundle in his arms. Newborn blue eyes looked up at him. Winnie Rae Weasley is the most perfect little girl in the world. She had a headful of deep auburn hair. It was darker than her brother’s. It was more the color of his mother than the Weasley shade of red. 

Charlie sat next to him on the bed. She held onto his pointer finger. “Harry, little bear is perfect. I can’t believe we have a baby girl. You did so well!” His husband kissed his forehead. “Now we have a full set.” 

“That we do, but I still think I need one more.” Harry giggled at the look his husband was wearing. 

“You just gave birth and you are already thinking about another one?” Charlie raised his eyebrow, gently taking his daughter from Harry. “Daddy is silly Winnie.” Their daughter sneezed right at that moment and he saw his husband melt. “Okay, one more and that’s it.”

Harry giggled and nuzzled into the redhead’s shoulder. “Three kids, perfect amount. Speaking of kids, when is our family bringing Topher?” Pops and Dad left a little after Winnie was born. They promised they would bring the family the next morning to see them. 

“Barnaby said he would be here at 10 with Topher, Neville, and Silas. He even promised to bring me the pie that I was promised.” Charlie teased. Harry closed his eyes and hummed. 

“Bear, did you tell your family? Are any of them coming?” He felt Charlie’s lips on his forehead. Harry leaned into his touch. Forehead kisses were his favorite.

“Bill said he would wait until we were back home to come visit. I told Dad he wants to come visit, but Mum yells at him. I wish he would retire and leave her. I know that sounds horrible, Harry, but all he does is work for what? A home that is too big for them? A home that is falling apart around them? They could demolish the old house, sell the land and get a divorce. I know my father isn’t happy.” 

Harry felt horrible for his husband. After hearing more and more stories about that woman, Harry loathes her. No one deserved to be treated the way she treated them. 

“Doesn’t matter. I have my family, Harry. I have you, Topher, Winnie.” 

“Don’t forget, Me and Ruby! We love you like a son, Charlie. I know we are not your parents, but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. Isn’t that right Ruby?” The older blond walked into the room with his arm full of balloons and a stuffed Piglet. “Winnie needs her best friend Piglet!” Pop said when he saw Harry smirk at his load.

"Of course Love. Charlie is one of our own! Look Topher, it’s yur baby sister.” The half-giant pointed over to Winnie, who was sound asleep in Charlie’s arms.

“Tophy’s baby!” Harry watched his son wriggle out of his dad’s arms and run to the bed. “Daddy! Uppie!” Harry couldn’t pick him up yet, but Pops to the rescue. 

“Daddy can’t pick you up yet.” Barnaby placed him on Harry’s lap and Topher looked at his sister, that was now in the bed between them.

“Das mine?” Topher pointed at Winnie. “Hers mine, Daddy!” Charlie laughed.“She is your baby sister. What do you think, dragon?”  

“Pwetty. We go home now?” Topher asked. His enormous eyes looked up at Harry. He melted because his baby boy was so sweet.

“No, we have to stay here for another day. Then we can go home. You are going to stay with Pop Pop and Granda.” Topher pouted at him until he said, staying at his grandparents.

“ ‘K Daddy. I hold baby now?” 

“Yes, you can hold your sister with Daddy’s help.” 

Severus

*Draco, I’m so proud of the progress that you have made. It’s been lonely without you but I’m glad that you are coming home.* Severus signed as they walked to the lift. It was the day that Draco got to come home. A few weeks and he could tell the blond felt better. 

*Thanks, Severus. I missed you, too. I’m glad to be going home. I’ve been worried about you.* Severus raised his infamous eyebrows at the blond. Who shook his head? 

*There is no reason to be worried about me. I’m fine.* Severus walked into the lift and Draco followed.

*Have you talked to him? I know you have seen Silas almost every day. I never heard about Neville. Have you ever tried to speak with him?* Draco signed quickly. Severus felt like he was being interrogated. 

*I haven’t tried since that night. I kept you from him. I missed Silas’s birthday. Why would he want to speak with me?* Severus was going to say more but the lift doors opened and heard a squeal.

“TAD!” Severus’s eyes widened when he saw Silas in the arms of Neville. Why were they at the hospital? Was there something wrong? He looked both of them over as they walked into the lift. Silas almost jumped out of Neville’s arms to get to him. Neville looked tired, but there was a small smile on his face. 

“Hi Silas, what are you doing here?” Severus looked at his son and then at Neville, who just noticed Draco. The small smile he was wearing quickly vanished.

“ Tophy’s baby here! I ‘ee hers!” 

“Harry had Winnie late last night or early this morning, actually,” Neville said, answering the next question Severus had. 

“Oh, did you get to see her?” Severus asked as the lift’s doors closed. He glanced at Neville, who watched them, and then the younger man’s eyes looked over at Draco.

“Yep! You ‘ee baby?” Silas cocked his head to the side.

“No, I came to pick up a friend from the hospital. He was sick, but now he feels much better.” Severus nodded over to Draco, whose blue eyes softened when he looked at Silas. 

The blond waved and signed, *It’s nice to finally meet your Silas! I’ve heard so much about you.* Severus interpreted. 

Silas and Neville’s eyes widened. “Draco isn’t able to speak but he can hear you so you can talk to him.” Silas wriggled down from Severus and walked over to Draco with his arms raised. Draco looked at both Neville and Severus. Severus said nothing, but Neville nodded. That shocked the potion master. 

“Severus… I… I am glad that I ran into you… We really need to talk. I know… I know you are probably busy today, but if you aren't tomorrow, you could stop by the house. Silas will be with his grandparents.” Neville seemed nervous, but Severus was just glad that he wanted to talk. 

Severus looked over at Draco, who nodded and then returned to listening to Silas ramble about flowers.

“I am not busy at all. I know there is a lot to talk about. I’m glad that you are allowing me the opportunity.” Severus wanted to reach out and cup the younger man’s cheeks. “You’re alright? Right? You were only here for  the birth of your new niece.”

“Yes Severus, we were just visiting the new baby. We will talk more tomorrow.” Neville turned to look at Draco and Silas. “Okay, my little mandrake. Say goodbye to your new friend and Tad. You’ll see him tomorrow night before bed, okay?”  

Silas wrapped his arms around Draco’s neck and squeezed. Draco winced a bit but smiled as he hugged the boy back. Then Silas did the same with Severus.

“Bye Bye Tad! Lub you!” 

“Love you too.” Severus watched as they both walked off the lift and then felt a hand on his shoulder. Draco squeezed and then signed.

*That is a good sign, Severus. He wants to talk to you. Just lay it all on the line. Tell him you love him because I know you do.* 

*I’ll tell him. We should get you home.”

——-

Severus walked into Draco’s room after he knocked. It’s been a couple of weeks since he walked in on him and that horrible day. He still felt the guilt.

*Hi, you look good.* Draco signed with a smile. *I’m glad I’ve taught you something about dressing.* The blond teased.

Severus looked down at his dark denim and dark blue jumper. He wanted to look good for Neville. 

*Thanks, brat. Are you sure that you are okay with me being gone? I don’t know if I will be back tonight. I hope I’m not back tonight. I don’t want to rush things, but I don’t know if it will go bad. I won't want to come home and if it goes well, I won’t want to come home.* Severus sat down on the bed next to Draco, who sighed. 

*Sev, one day I say soon you are going to move out. I love this house, but I know you want to stay with Neville in his home. This was never home to you. I decorated. I was the one who picked this. I had a moment of weakness. I’m going to be a mind healer twice a week. You’ll be here every day working. You know the signs now and I have learned to talk more about it.* Draco looked more confident than he had in a while. There was still sadness in his eyes, but a little of the old Draco was shining through. 

*You are my family. You were more of a dad to me than my father. I know you are not going anywhere and I’m not going anywhere. I want to be Uncle Draco to Silas. He is cute. He got that from his other father though.* Draco teased, as he knocked their shoulders together. *I promise and remember we don’t break promises.* 

Severus squeezed Draco’s knee before he stood up. * If you need me*

*I know where you will be. Now go* Draco shooed him out of the room.

Severus didn’t use the floo, he didn’t want to just show up in Neville’s house. He apparated outside of his house. He took a few minutes to have himself calm down. Potion-stained fingers knocked on the door. A minute passed, and he knocked again. Severus tried not to panic. He knocked again, and the door swung open. Neville stood there looking a little green. Before he could say anything, Neville covered his mouth and ran towards the bathroom. 

Severus closed the door and rushed to the younger man. Neville looked a little pale yesterday. If he were sick Severus would just take care of him and not worry about talking yet. What he had to say could wait. 

Neville sat on the floor, his head in the toilet. Severus summoned a flannel. He got it wet with some warm water. The potion master kneeled on the floor beside the younger man. After a few moments, Neville looked up at him, his eyes glassy. 

Severus frowned. He cupped Neville’s cheek and washed his face off. “Neville, if you are not feeling well, we can do this another time. Let me get you into bed.” The blond shook his head. 

“I’m fine Severus, nothing I can’t handle. We really need to talk. I feel much better now.” Severus stood up and helped Neville off the floor. This was the first time in a while that they were this close to each other. 

“If you insist. At least go sit down on the couch and I’ll make us some tea.” Neville nodded and let Severus get him settled on the couch before he started the tea.

When Severus walked back into the living room, Neville looked a lot better. It could have just been his nerves. He thought to himself.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked as he sat down the tea. 

“Yeah, I’m fine now. Sorry about that.” Neville took his cup. His eyes were locked on his lap. “I’ve asked you to come because we need to talk. I am not sure what happened on Silas’s birthday. I don’t know what type of relationship that you have with Draco. I’m not sure why you would miss your own son’s birthday. I’d hoped that it was something that was important.” Neville took a deep breath. Severus wanted to interrupt and tell him what really happened. 

“I… I’m not sure why when I told you I was fine with you having a relationship with Silas, you wanted to be in a relationship with me if you had someone else. There is a small part of me that doesn’t believe what I saw was anything more than friends hugging, but then I think about the difference between Draco and me. The only thing we have in common is we are both blonds. Severus, I can see why you would want to be with him. He is intelligent, handsome, he can brew, and he is fit. I am chunky, have poop brown eyes, and I can brew worth shite.” He shook his head and played with the cup in his hands. Severus waited patiently for him to finish.

“None of that matters. I know we haven’t seen each other since then. I am glad that Silas gets to spend time with his Tad as much as you want. It looked like Draco was good with him. That's good. I wouldn’t want Silas to not like who you are with, and if he treated my son poorly, that would be a different story. The first time I hear about  him mistreating him, Severus I…” Neville composed himself again. 

“If he can’t handle you having one kid, Severus. You should know that it will be harder when this one comes in about 7 months. Two kids are a lot more. I need to know that you are committed to being their Tad. I need to know that you are going to be there for their birthdays, Christmas, and every holiday. Will you commit and be there because if not, I can’t have my children guessing if their Tad will be there or not?” Tears streamed down the younger man’s face and Severus was frozen in that spot.

There was so much said and Severus was stuck on ‘If he can’t handle you having one kid, it would become harder in 7 months.’ He always thought of himself as an intelligent person. It was as if Neville could tell he broke him before he spoke again.

“Severus, I'm pregnant. I know I didn’t tell you last time, and that was wrong of me, so this time I wanted to be honest. So now that you know, you can make your decision.”  

Pregnant…. Neville was pregnant again. Severus will be around this time for the birth of his child. His heart was pounding in his chest and a smile grew on his face. There was so much he needed to say. He had to get his thoughts together, but before he could stop it.

“I love you!” 

Neville

Neville’s head shot up and his eye locked onto Severus’s. The older man said it again. “I love you, Neville. I know this isn’t what I should say right now. I know that there is so much more I need to say, but before I do, I want… No, I needed to tell you I love you. I am not sure when I fell in love with you, but I do. I was afraid to tell you. I think it was because I didn’t want to let myself feel it.” Neville shook his head. Anger flooded him. How dare he say this after everything he said?

“Severus….” The potion master flicked his wand, and the tea was gone from the table. and he sat down in front of Neville at the table.

“I know what you are going to say. I shouldn’t have told you that, not after everything. Draco and I are family, yes, but it isn’t what you think. He is more like a son. I know… I know Silas is my son. My biological son. I know I missed his birthday, and I felt horrible, but I knew Silas was safe and he had you. Please give me a chance to tell you about that day.” Severus pleaded, his potion-stained fingers cupping his. Onyx eyes were wide. 

Neville couldn’t speak… not yet. He wanted to believe so much of what Severus was saying but it couldn’t be.

“After waking up with you in my arms and after that perfect shower, I went home. I wanted to get changed and hurry back over before the party. When I went to look for Draco to let him know I was leaving, I found him with a bottle of poison.” Severus’ voice shook and Neville gasped. 

“Draco was attacked, it was my fault that I couldn’t help him. I was too upset by you leaving. I didn't go with him when I should have. That is why he has that scar and cannot speak. I broke my promise to him. When I went to the hospital and saw him that way, I was scared and I promised again that I would be there for him. I  love him, Neville. Only as a son. I didn’t tell you about him because I was ashamed that I was the reason that he was alone that day.” Severus took the cup from his hands and interlaced their fingers. 

“I was heartbroken when I saw you were gone. I knew then that I loved you, that I love you. That it didn’t matter what my plans were. I went back to my quarters and drank until I passed out. Then waking up and heard Draco was in the hospital because of me. All those feelings came back when I found him when he poisoned himself. Draco went to the hospital and was there for weeks. He isn’t 100% better, but he is going to be a mind healer now twice a week. He knows how much I love you. He knows I want to live here with you and Silas. Plus, with the new baby. Gods Neville, you are pregnant. I will be there with you through everything if you allow me. I want to take care of you. I am going to be brewing all the potions that you need. I will go get what you are craving at 2 in the morning. Please, believe me,  you are who I want. Who I always wanted.” 

Neville’s heart broke for Draco, and for Severus. “I would have been there for you and Draco. My whole family would have been! You know how Barnaby is. He would adopt him in a minute. They will meet and the crazy man will smother him with all the love that he probably never had. Severus, I know how pure-blood families could be and I know that Draco’s was worse than mine. I’m glad that he has you.” Neville wanted to be pulled into the older man’s arms. 

“Please, Neville. Let me be here for you. I’ll do anything that you want me to do. If you tell me right now that you don’t love me, that you only want to co-parent our children together, I’ll leave and I’ll be there for you during the pregnancy. If you love me, I’ll put on a movie, order food, and hold you until our son comes home. Then I’ll do bath time and tuck in while you take a bath. After your bath, I’ll tuck you in and kiss you goodnight. Then I’ll be back tomorrow after work.” Severus laid it all out for Neville.

Neville chewed on his bottom lip. Should he let his heart rule over his head? Should he take that chance again? This is the 3rd time. Then he remembered what Barnaby said, and Pops had never left him down. 

“No Severus.” Neville watched as the potion master deflated. “You will be in the bed with me. You have neglected me long enough. I will not have the man I love not sleep in the same bed as me tonight. Severus gods, I was so angry at you. You could have just told me. There is no world that I don’t love you. You better fucking be honest with me from now on. There will be no more chances, Severus.” Neville felt like the bolder was lifted off of his chest. He wasted so much. time before. Severus was it for him, they both have made mistakes but they are still here together.

“Now I want my movie, dinner, and for you to hold me.” Severus smiled at him and leaned forward. Neville moved closer to him. “Actually, I would like a kiss before that.” 

Severus cupped his face, and he leaned into his touch. Their lips touched gently. Neither one of them deepened the kiss. “I love you, Neville.” 

“I love you too. So much.”