prologue
James sat on his bed, unusually still and quiet. He was looking at the wall and fidgeting with his wand, which was letting out small sparks in his distracted state. For a usually open person, his face was inexplicably hard to read. That wasn’t currently an issue because the other marauders were asleep, not quite sound, but no nightmares that night.
In truth, what was troubling James that night was his friends. He was always worried about Sirius at this time of year as he’d grow defensive and snappy, but Peter and Remus weren’t acting themselves either and James had no idea why or how he could help them.
The truth was:
Peter was ashamed, he’d been beating himself up about his OWL’s. He’d worked so much harder than his friends and spent so much time studying, even missing out on pranks that the marauders pulled so he could study as much as he could. But it didn’t pay off, sure he landed himself in the above average range but his friends all got higher scores than him for way less work! Jealousy brewed inside of him these last few weeks, so Peter had distanced himself from the other marauders.
Deep down he knew it wasn’t their fault they were gifted magically and seemed to be magically gifted and understand the theory with more ease than most. Peter found it was a hell of a lot easier to wallow in bitterness and jealousy that to ponder why he didn’t understand the subjects as well as them. That would make him just as sour and twice as sad.
Remus was tired. So incredibly tired. Well, that might not be the right word for it. He was usually tired, especially after the full moon, and moon’s close to the end of the year were worse because they were coupled with exam stress and packing fatigue. Truth is, it wasn’t just that he was tired from the semi constant full moon drama. He was also tired from everything, his friends and their pranks to cheer him up, his parents and how they pretended they were fine, his schoolwork having to concentrate enough to keep up and finally (which he will never admit out loud) he was tired of worry. Remus couldn’t bear to see Sirius, his Sirius look at him with so much concern and love. Because the matter is Remus loved Sirius and Sirius loved him, they both knew it, but Remus couldn’t help but feel endlessly draining guilt every time Sirius looked at him with those big sad grey eyes. Tired, knowing that they were teary because of him.
Sirius was worried. He was worried about Remus who was looking more exhausted than usual, he was worried about bringing the almost perfect OWL result home (anything less than perfect would be something his parents would make a big deal out of) not only because he feared his parents underneath his rebellious and loud actions but also because it was harder to pretend to dislike regulus in that house.
At school, Sirius could tell himself that Regulus was a slytherin and that he had chosen to be on their parents’ side, but at home he couldn’t ignore the flashes of disgust his brother displayed towards their parents when he thought no one saw.
He couldn’t pretend Regulus was just another evil snake when his younger brother clearly worked so hard to please his parents and getting the bare minimum amount of praise followed by something passive aggressive in return.
But what truly made it impossible for Sirius to pretend to loathe his brother at home was the emotion Regulus failed to hide when he glanced at Sirius from across the table, Sirius couldn’t stand to see his brother glace at him with that gut wrenching combination of homesickness, regret, sadness and acceptance.
Regulus would try to mask these looks under the guise of nonchalance or distaste, but he could never truly fool Sirius with facades or lies Sirius had always seen through them, even though sometimes he really wished for his own sanity he couldn’t.
James knew about some of what his friends were feeling. He picked up on more than any of his friends knew. He knew that peter was upset about his grades more specifically that they didn’t match how hard he worked for them. He knew Remus was exhausted from more than just his monthly transformations. He knew Sirius was scared to go home and worried about Remus. Despite knowing all of this, James Potter was at a loss. Sirius never took confrontation this close to the holidays well (he knew from experience) whenever he tried to reach out to Peter he would deflect and refuse to look at James and he knew Remus had enough on his plate and would certainly not benefit from James sticking his nose in his business.
James was stressed. He cared about these people more than anyone and it hurt to see them this way, knowing he couldn’t help them or at least he didn’t know how to help them.
So he left.
Not permanently, he just couldn’t stand to sit on his bed not doing anything despite the late hour and all of his friends being asleep. He was restless any more time in that dorm, and he might start screaming. Or burst into tears, out of frustration over his predicament or unreasonable guilt he felt for not being able to help or both. James didn’t care screaming or crying were both things he refused to do, so a late night stroll it was.
Some time later (about two or three hours if James had to guess) James found himself growing bored with his usual loop (gryffindor tower, moving staircases, prefects bathrooms, one eyed witch statue, kitchen portrait, great hall and back to the tower) so he decided to go to places he usually wouldn’t. After starting with the divination staircase, (James is pretty sure his legs will hurt for all of Christmas break after that) heading to the entrance hall and then going up to the tapestries on the seventh floor James still felt restless so in all his delirious intelligence he decided some adventure was needed to get rid of the excess energy and off to the dungeons he strut.
James wanted something interesting, but he did not expect this. Picture this James standing stock still mouth slightly agape, staring at the person in front of him in shock (like a total idiot! Talk about embarrassing!" In front of James stood a just as shocked and uncontrollably sobbing Regulus black stared back at him (crying in front of a gryffindor! He’ll never live it down!).
After a hefty thirty seconds in which Regulus (embarrassingly) didn’t manage to pull himself out of hysterics, James broke the awkward staring contest by snapping himself out of his daze and coughing into his hand slightly before saying,
“,,,, Hey?”
Now regulus may have been in the middle of a meltdown but he’d be dammed if he didn’t try to pull himself together, the last time he cried in front of someone like this he was six even then he’d only ever done it in front of Sirius.
So Regulus sucked in a deep breath, ignoring the fact that he had failed to respond to James for over thirty seconds (generally unappreciated Regulus found) .
“H e y” shakier than Regulus wished to sound, but he wasn’t hyperventilating or sobbing anymore so that’s a win
“You wanna talk? Or maybe sneak into the kitchens for a snack? Ooo! Or we could set off a dung bomb in Filch’s room. I know where his secret entrance is! James suggested things that usually worked for each of the marauders when they were worked up. The thought of changing the subject or trying to leave didn’t even cross James’ mind, someone he knew was upset! What if he just needed someone to help him? They weren’t friends, but James couldn’t in good conscience stand by when Regulus looked so unsettled.
“Go away potter” Regulus spat out as best he could with how much of a mess he currently was.
“Only if you really want me too,” James said sincerely in return. He really didn’t want to leave someone like, this but he knew some people preferred to not be with people when they are vulnerable.
Regulus was panicking.
He desperately wanted someone to hug (Damm his touch starved childhood) but this was a gryffindor! One of his brother’s groupies none the less, better than his sociopathic dorm mates without question, but Regulus didn’t want to get involved in any of his brother’s shenanigans.
Even if Potter was speaking in a soft, comforting voice and did look especially sincere (dammit, this was getting sad how much he wanted to collapse into the other boy’s arms) Regulus needed to turn potter away now, he really didn’t need Sirius thinking he wanted to be buddy buddy with him again (even if he really did).
“Sure, whatever potter just talk, uh if you must” WHAT THE FUCK.
Regulus did not mean to say that, but god dammit, he would rather sink on this ship than admit that wasn’t exactly what he meant to say to potter.
Plus, Regulus really was starting to become quite drained.
The collar from his fancy pajamas was itching his neck in the wrong way, the portrait that lived down the hall was snoring in a way that made Regulus want to recoil and in his haste to get out of the dorms he forgot shoes the stone floor was uneven, sharp and rough on Regulus’ feet and he’d had more enough for today thankyou very much.
“Oh! Rough yeah, talk ok. I can do that.” James said taking a breath, talking.
He could definitely do that. At least Minnie seemed to think so.
“So, do you wanna stay in the dungeon barefoot or go somewhere that’s less cold?”
That wasn’t something regulus was prepared for he was expecting prying or even teasing.
“I suppose it is cold down here, but where else could we go at this hour that’s warm, that we also won’t get caught in?” Regulus asked.
“I know somewhere, but it’s a bit of a hike. It’s on the seventh floor. Are you up for that?” it was a valid question that James asked, but he should have known better. All of the Black family was dramatic, and none of them ever backed down from what they saw as a challenge.
“Hike?
In your dreams I could walk up there in my sleep Potter,” Regulus said stubbornly.
“Ok, cool let’s go!” James said, way too energised for whatever ridiculous time in the morning it was.
The unlikely pair ventured up to the seventh floor, all the while keeping steady small talk that often lapsed into surprisingly peaceful silence.
The seventh floor was a little more quiet than the dungeons as there were fewer portraits to make a racket and Regulus was quietly enjoying it before he came to a sudden halt.
“Why’d you stop?” regulus said, lifting his gaze from the small thread of blue yarn on the stone floor.
“We’re here!” James said, gesturing to the blank stone wall in front of them like it was obvious.
“Potter, if this was some stupid attempt at a joke, you need to get a life!” Regulus meant to sound more angry, but he felt too burnt out to put that much effort into his tone of voice.
“No, no trust me it's not just pace back and forth three times in front of the wally and well get to the place I was talking about,” James assures.
“Fine. But if this is a dumb joke, it’s just sad on your end potter” Regulus said with finality.
Regulus paced three times in front of the wall and when he looked up expecting to see blank stone, he was met with an old set of double doors that seemed to fit right into Hogwarts.
“Huh,” he said in slight shock, a little relieved that James wasn’t pulling his leg as he had originally thought.
“It’s cool, right? Just ait till you see inside.” James said with a smirk.
“Yeah, it is pretty handy having a secret room” Regulus pondered, opening the door for himself.
Inside the room to both of the young boy’s surprise was a dim room lit by a cosy fire with a soft carpeted floor, a bookshelf some soft-looking beds, some plush couches, some padded rocking chairs, an open door leading to a bathroom and by their feet were two pairs of slippers and two sets of silk pajamas one burgundy and one dark forest green.
“What the hell is this?” Regulus asked. It looked like heaven and it sounded so quiet in here the fire was barely making a crackle and he couldn’t hear any outside noise.
“What is it? Well, it’s your room Black!” James said unhelpfully before adding, “but it looks like we are gonna have an awesome but very relaxing sleepover!”
“What? Why would we have a sleepover? What is this place?” Regulus asked, very confused. Why would he have a sleepover? He barely knew the guy, even if he did find the boy oddly comforting.
“It’s the Room Of Requirement. It made us an epic place to rest because you wanted it to. You paced in front of the doors so this room will bring you whatever you require! I guess you want to rest and have some quiet, but maybe you sleep better with someone else in the room. I know I do. I always can’t sleep at first during break after shearing the dorm for so long,” James started to ramble to Regulus.
“I suppose we can sleep, but only because I’m really tired,” Regulus stated before adding “and I know you don’t want to be or can’t be in your dorm for whatever reason either or you wouldn’t have been wondering around alone so late,” Regulus grabbed the green pyjamas and watched as James grabbed the other set.
“Yeah, I just needed a break from that dorm room for a bit, needed some air, y’know?” James replied.
“Yeah? Me too, got a bit stuffy, usually does near break,” Regulus said as an understatement.
“It sure does I thought I would suffocate if I stayed any longer”.
“Makes sense, laundry doesn’t get taken out for another two days”, Regulus joked. James smiled, happy that the Slytherin boy was feeling a little more relaxed than he was before.
The conversation lulled, and Regulus went to the bathroom to change into the silk pyjamas. He walked out wearing his slippers, looking a lot less tense, which made James internally sigh in relief. He couldn’t stand seeing those grey eyes so fatigued and sad. James went to the bathroom and changed into his own set of (very soft, very fancy, very nice. He should buy more nice clothes, maybe Sirius was onto something) pyjamas. By the time he came out of the bathroom, Regulus was dead asleep.
With the night’s adventures of hours of walking around finally catching up to James, he wasn’t far behind Regulus. Stopping to pull the blanket up properly on the other boy so it wouldn’t fall off in the night, he paddled over to his own bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.