Model For Me

Remus had no idea how Lily managed to convince him, but eventually, they came to the JSMD building. It probably had something with her promising him to go for one of his lectures if there would be a situation when he couldn't. Remus was aware she would do it either way, but seeing how much she cared, he agreed, and there they were. The building inside was modern and spacious, but it still had a bit of warm spirit, that Remus at first couldn't find the origin of. And then, he noticed people smiling, greeting each other and laughing, and it was only ten a.m.

There wasn't much people though. Remus guessed that different teams had different working hours.

"Ms. Evans?" asked a lady, who seemed to be a receptionist. She had dirty-blonde hair and silvery eyes and a warm smile on her face. Lily heard her voice, so she looked at her and hurried to the counter. Remus just tagged along. "Welcome," said the receptionist, and then added, "I've heard there is a possibility we will see each other more often?"

"I suppose we will," answered Lily. "You can just call me Lily, if that's not a problem."

"Oh, there is absolutely none of that. And you can call me Pandora. Lily is such a lovely name, I wanted to tell you that since I've heard it. And who is your friend?" asked Pandora, smiling at Remus.

"We probably won't see each other much, but I would also like to be on a first name basis. I'm Remus," he introduced himself. They shook hands and smiled at each other.

"It's a great pleasure to meet you. Officially, both of you." Pandora looked at the monitor and looked at Lily. "You have a meeting with James and Sirius, but I was informed they will come to the lobby for you. I believe they will be in five minutes or so. Should I give them a call?"

"We don't mind waiting. A few minutes don't really change much. And we are here a bit ahead of time."

"Pandora," suddenly a hand landed hard on the counter. Remus almost jumped because he didn't hear anything and next to him was a young woman, giving Pandora irritated looks. He exchanged glances with Lily, both of them surprised, and then he looked at the new character standing in front of Pandora. "Please tell me I have a meeting with Mary today."

Though a person in front of her was seemingly annoyed, Pandora didn't seem fazed. "I don't think so Marlene, since you are here, but I can double-check?" she gave Marlene an apologetic smile, and looked at her computer. "No, you don't have anything for today, I'm afraid."

"I'm gonna kill her," announced Marlene and took a long, deep breath. It was also the moment she noticed Remus and Lily. "I'm sorry you saw it, a friend of mine… She told me about a non-existent meeting, and I've literally wasted one hour for someone who wasn't even aware I was waiting for. And she did it again. She is seriously fucking with me, and not the way I want her to. But never mind. You are? Someone new, or one-time thing?"

There was a lot of information to digest and Remus just looked at Marlene astonished. Lily took the charge.

"I'm Lily and there is a possibility I will be a one-season thing. And here it's Remus, he may be a one-time thing."

"Oh, I am definitely a one-time thing. Lily will have to deal with the big world herself, unfortunately." He clarified. "And you are Marlene? You are…?"

"I'm a fashion designer. Who has nasty luck to get the latecomers models and because of that fact, I'm used to waiting for people who aren't coming. I’m the main designer here, though Dorcas will say the same. But if you are here for modelling, Lily, we will probably meet a lot in a future." Marlene shook her head. And gave Pandora an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry I acted this way, again, Pandora. Next time I just won't believe Dorcas and maybe then we will all live in peace."

"That's alright, I'm used to nasty clients," said Pandora and Remus almost snorted. Lily was smiling, too.

"Deserved," commented Marlene, and then gave Remus a scrutinizing look. "You sure, you are not modelling? I would love to work with you, too, I'm sure Sirius would, too." And then she grinned.

Remus' brow went up. "You should be grateful I'm not modelling for you, really. I guarantee you, I can be a real nuisance, when I want to, and when I don't." 

Marlene leaned in. "And would you want to?" she said, almost conspiratorially.

Remus, who thought it was a joke from the start, smiled.

"It sure would be great to be late all the time and don't care about it."

"You didn't," gasped Marlene and Lily laughed.

"Wasn't you-" he continued, but was interrupted by an unfamiliar voice.

"Lily Evans!" someone shouted. The four of them looked in his direction. Remus, just looking, knew who it was, because of the description Lily gave him when they were on the way. Glasses and wide smile, and hair sticking out in all directions, was really the best commentary Lily could give him. And what's more, James Potter really radiated good energy.

Marlene smirked. "I will ignore the jork didn't greet me and leave you then. Good day today." And she left, not even bidding goodbye.

"James Potter," she said, and with the motion of her hand she presented her friend. "This is Remus Lupin. Remus, this is James Potter." And before she could say anything else, behind James made his appearance a second man, who could easily pass as the most beautiful human being, if someone asked Remus. He was thankful no one did, though. It could be a bit embarrassing saying compliments like this the first day they met. And the model, because Remus guessed he was one, probably heard sentences like that on a daily basis, without help of some stranger. Or with help of many other strangers. But he truly was a stunning sight. It was not even his silky black hair or well-clothed presence that turned all Remus' attention on him, but a beautiful facial features. The man looked like he was sculptured by the most talented sculptor they could find. A sculptor who managed to make a mission-impossible possible. Who accomplished making his magnum opus impossible to be more perfect. It was astounding for the simple boy the Remus believed he was. To met someone that shouldn't even exist in their mundane world.

But here he was, convinced by Lily, and now shaking hands with a perfect being.

"And Sirius Potter."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Remus managed to say, and he even succeeded in looking away from Sirius to pay attention to James. When he glanced at Lily, he saw her raised brows, so he subtly shook his head in a 'not now' message.

"Should we go somewhere more private then?" asked James and they nodded.

"I don't want to disturb, so I will just wait in the lobby for you, Lily." Remus said, drawing Sirius' attention to himself.

"What? No, I wished you would come with us. If it's not a problem."

"But won't I interfere?" questioned Remus.

"O-on the contrary," insisted Sirius, though he stuttered a bit, and that made Remus question his presence even more.

"Just come with us, Remus," said James, seemingly amused. "We have something to ask you, too."

And this way they settled in a small office of sort. It was James' from what Remus saw on the name plate. They sat down and Sirius turned on some music to be playing quietly in the background. Remus noted it wasn't typical music they play in the radio, but rather some older songs.

"All right, so…" James took out documents from a drawer and placed them on the desk in front of Lily. "These are documents you should sign, if you are determined. About…"

"Can I…" interrupted Lily and James gave her a full attention, "ask a few questions first?"

"Yes, of course."

"So, well, I'm studying. And working a part-time job. I guess I could take a break from work, since I will be paid for this, but I won't be able to miss too much of my lectures, and there are some things I just can't miss at all. So I wouldn't want to sign something and be problematic about it later. I want to be clear, that I'm still a student. If there are no possibilities for my schedule to be a little flexible, then I don't want to cause problems later."

James looked at Sirius then. "Yeah," Sirius began speaking, "I think we can make it work. It's not like we have a fixed photo shooting schedule. I prefer to work in the mornings so when things get delayed, we still have all afternoon to get work done. But the light is all artificial and people are different. We have some models who decide on our schedules more than we on theirs." It was only this moment, Remus understood Sirius wasn't a model, but someone working with them. What was the next surprising moment of his day. "It's more about not overlapping. Pandora, though, makes everything seems possible. And what's more, in our field things are more seasonal. Nothing really happens most of the year. But it's a pretty busy time before the start of the season, so we are on full-time mode then. Saturdays are working days too at these times. So we could always try to arrange your photoshoots on the weekend. Or rather, Pandora could. I saw you met her at the reception, though it's not her typical job. She is more of an assistant, but she volunteered to replace one of the receptionists, who was sick. Now, it's not busy, so assistant for me is not that significant. I can cope with a few dates put in the calendar and other stuff."

"We tend to be too flexible here, actually," joked James. Though Remus wasn't sure if it really was a joke. "You will experience real chaos here, the closer it gets to March."

"That's sounds… splendid," commented Lily. James beamed at her and moved documents closer to her. He gave her a pen and she started to read briefly over papers and signing it.

"And… I would love to know your position on the matter of modelling, Remus." Sirius spoke up, an unexpected shyness in his voice. "If you would like to… try it out, too. The same conditions, of course."

And Remus was too surprised to say something at first. Because, yes, Marlene commented on that matter, earlier. But he was sure she was joking. Remus never in his life thought he could be considered a model. It's not that he deemed himself ugly… Just not a model material. His face wasn't extraordinary. He drew attention to himself, but because of his scar. Has Remus ever seen a model with a scar? He didn't think so. How could that work out?

"No," he answered. And because it did sound a bit harsh, he continued. "I don't really like to have photos taken of me. I'm thankful for the offer, though. It was a bit unexpected, I must admit."

"Unexpected?" asked Sirius, as if another head suddenly grew out of his neck. "Well, if you don't want to be in the magazine, I could always offer you something else. You could do a sitting for our website. Or I could take photos of you to make them into one of our collection's poster. Or a few of them. Or we could…"

"I am," interrupted Remus, "really, really grateful for your approach, but I won't be willing to do anything that include me being on display." And seeing how Sirius' expression turned upside down, he added, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it in a bad way. It sounded wrong. It's just not something I'm interested in, even though the offer is pretty generous."

"Yeah… I understand…" agreed Sirius. One glance at Lily, and Remus saw they had all her attention. James' also, it seemed. "Though, if you ever change your mind, just give yourself a chance."

And Remus really wished he could accept the offer. He suspected the money was something extraordinary in this field, but at the same time, it was something he just wouldn't do. He didn't like to be in a centre of attention and if people all around the world could see him this easily…? Remus would feel suffocated, on edge, probably. He felt like he would have an awareness of the fact all the time, in the back of his mind.

And a dim thought came to Remus, that he wouldn't cope well with seeing Sirius more. Even though there was probably nothing more he wanted to do, at that moment.

"Of course, thank you," Remus said. He doubted anyone in the room believed his words.

And it went just like that. Lily changed the topic, seeing there was nothing to add, they did what they came for and left. It felt weird, for Remus, but he was sure, for Lily, too. It was strange how they went with this day, like nothing has changed, even though nothing felt real. He wondered if it really was their daily, would it still felt like something unreal happened? Or maybe would they get used to this feeling? However, was it really strange? Wasn't that just the next day? Just because something was unusual, had it meant it wasn't normal?

Because for some people studying day after day, having part-time jobs or changing your sleeping habits depending on need was something weird. And it was only Remus' choice, that it was his normal.

***

Sirius tried to forget. He is always trying, but his friends liked to say he is too artistic for his own good. That he is too serious with his affections, they joked. Though after, they admitted it was something just typically his, that they loved it. How he could be affectionate without further thought. How he showed his love for his friends, so they never felt unloved by him. Sirius hasn't really agreed with them. It was more like James to intentionally care about friends and family. It was James' second nature, to care. Sirius just needed more tenderness, more touch, more affection to function properly. And Sirius' second nature was more about being cared of. By James, specifically. It was his third, or maybe first nature, to feel. Too much, too often, too great. And that's why, he wanted to forget. Not remembering would be welcome. Because feeling too much, meant thinking too much, about things he didn't want to concentrate on.

He hated his feelings sometimes.  

So much could be easier if one were to chose memories worth remembering.

But then, he would probably decide to forget about Remus. And he wouldn't know, but it was a decision worth only regret. Sirius wanted to forget about Remus, but at the same time, he wished to have his image imprinted in his mind.

And this was about him feeling too much. He met Remus only once, so Sirius knew, how he obsessed about him, wasn't something healthy. He just couldn't do this other way. It was between forgetting and remembering all the time.

And people would laugh at him, but Sirius felt it. Felt it in the way his eyes lingered while meeting Remus' eyes.

Felt the itch. The itch to take the photo.

Sirius was an artist. He was a photographer, yes, and his job, not always required artistic point of view, but there were moment, when Sirius couldn't just pass on the occasion. Like when he passed a beautiful view and he needed to capture it. Or saw one of his friend's smile, a special instant that he wished to have hanged on the wall. Or when he saw Remus Lupin, with the way his freckles made constellations on his face. With his light brown curls being just aesthetically pleasing and making Sirius' hand ache to find out if they are as soft as they looked like. And his eyes. His emerald-amber eyes. Hazel really, with gold flecks, but who would manage to classify them. Sirius wanted to reserve all separate photoshoot just for these eyes.

Eyes he wanted to forget, and at the same time he feared it would really happen someday.

So with these thoughts in mind, when he decided once to choose a different café, he felt like he manifested Remus.

It was Saturday, and Sirius, exceptionally, was up to the job, so around 9 a.m. he landed in the coffee shop. During his stay in the queue, he hadn't seen the barista, but soon enough, when his turn came, he met these emerald-amber-like eyes. At first, he believed the time had stopped. They just looked at each other, grey eyes versus hazel ones. Voices around quieted down, or maybe it was Sirius who shut them off a little. And his eyes lingered, of course they did. But then spoke up a voice that Sirius would never shut off, not in this universe.

"Hello, nice to meet you again. Your order?" Remus asked with a smile. Sirius smiled back, almost unconsciously.

"Yes," he said without further thought and started to get nervous, because, how could he not. There was this beautiful being in front of him, and he just… He just agreed. Agreed to a question without the agreement option. "Yes," he repeated and reprimanded himself in mind. "I meant, yes, I would love to order." At this point, Sirius was sure pink coloured his face. He regretted his fair complexion for once.

"Yes," joked Remus. "I'm happy to oblige then. What would you like to order?"

"Black. Black coffee," Sirius managed to say, and was flabbergasted he hadn't started to cry.

"Your order will be in a sec."

And while Sirius waited, he wondered if he should, once again, try to convince Remus. And because it was James who was the unrushed one, between these two, when Sirius was receiving his coffee, words fell off his mouth almost by themselves.

"I would pay you a lot more, if you agreed to a photoshoot," and seeing Remus' reaction, Sirius knew the words weren't considered encouraging. Or appropriate. Or good in any way. And before Remus could answer, Sirius was on a speaking streak. "No. I didn't mean it however you understood it. It was only about money. Nothing else. I just meant it in a logical and tempting way, not a chastising one. I would pay you more, it's the fact. I would still love you to come to my studio, it's the feeling. It would be an honour, really. I wish you reconsidered."

"Sirius, right now is not the best moment…" dropped a hint Remus and only then Sirius remembered the queue forming after him.

"Can I get your number then? To talk about it."

"I'm sorry, I am convinced, I'm not going to accept your offer." Remus said, and Sirius felt like he was loosing an important chance, so he pressed on. It wasn't likeable to insist when Remus was clearly busy, but it was about him despising Sirius, or not having any interaction with him at all.

"Or could I wait for you finishing your shift?"

After this, Remus just took the phone from a pocket and handed it to Sirius.

"Just save your number and leave, alright?"

And Sirius did so. He saved his number on Remus' phone, gave a call, just in case, and left after thanking him a lot. The last thing he observed, was Remus' half-irritated expression.