Never Saw You Coming

Please kill me now.

 

Regulus had been screaming this to himself from the second he caught on to what was happening. 

These professors should not be allowed to get together and scheme up with things like this. It’s cruel and usual punishment. It’s bloody torture! 

Or as Minerva McGonagall calls it 

“A tradition that will never be lost.” 

Dancing. 

The worst part is Slughorn was roped into bringing Slytherin to the ‘lessons’. 

Regulus wanted to vomit just thinking about it. 

And, of course, because the boy follows him everywhere these days (consciously or otherwise), James is here and he’s demanding all of Regulus’ attention by just existing. 

As if this situation wasn’t embarrassing enough. 

He’s trying to scheme a way out of the room without anyone noticing. 

McGonagall is in the middle of her spiel about being on their best behavior because they ‘represent the school”. Regulus is drowning most of it out. 

But not for long. 

“James Potter, will you join me please?” 

Regulus’ head shot up from staring at nothing on the floor. It pulled him right out of his lulled state. 

If he was thinking of leaving, it’s forgotten until he sees whatever McGonagall is about to make James participate in. 

The boy in question rises from the group that houses the rest of his friends, snickering and trying their best not to completely lose it. 

But James doesn’t look bothered. He looks happy to make his friends laugh. 

Regulus wasn’t sure if he was ever going to find something about James that he didn’t like. Seems unlikely. 

The boy did as he was told and stood beside McGonagall while she was explaining that a perfected waltz is impossible. Because it comes from the rhythm of one’s heartbeat. And the rhythm of their partner. 

James was smiling his million-dollar, thousand-watt smile, not listening to a word. 

He’s laughing at his friends and scanning the faces of every uninterested students until he lands on Regulus. 

Hiding between the bodies of two huskier boys. 

James’ smile softened around the edges a bit and he sent Regulus a sly wink that no one else seemed to notice. 

Regulus reveled in it. 

“Now, Mr. Potter.” The professor yanked both their attention and eye contact away from each other. “Put your right hand on my waist.” James’ eyes went comically wide and Regulus lost his normal composure. A laugh escaped his throat. 

James cut his eyes over to the boy and narrowed them as if threatening something he would never do. It’s still completely entertaining. 

James does what he’s told and manages to follow the professor’s directions fairly well. 

When the music starts and they start demonstrating the actual dance, Regulus sees his opportunity to escape. Everyone is distracted. 

He creeps to the back of the group and takes one last look at James Potter before finally making his way out the door, silently. 

Afraid of being caught, he took a slightly less high traffic route back to the room. 

He’d just made it to the base of a back set of staircases that lead directly to the 5th floor. 

He hoisted himself up onto the landing before he heard the voice. 

“And where are you sneaking off to?” 

He froze. 

How the hell did James manage to get here before Regulus did? How did he get away from dancing lessons? How did he know Regulus would take these cobweb ridden stairs that no one’s touched in weeks. 

The boy was leaned against the wall with his arms crossed looking smug. 

It was hot, but Regulus was not dwelling on that. 

He stepped down off the landing and found himself drawn into James’ space. Standing opposite him and mirroring his ever-so-cool stance. Really, mocking him was an excuse to get close to him. 

“The same place I assume you’re sneaking off to, Mr. Potter.” Regulus smirked at him. “How did you manage to get out of there so quickly?” 

“Well your brother decided he wanted a turn dancing with McGonagall, so I was replaced.” He shrugs with a grin. “I saw you sneak out, while I was embarrassing myself in front of everyone.” 

“Only a little bit.“ 

“Oh and you’re an expert on the subject, are you?” James narrowed his eyes and involuntarily took a small step forward. His body was moving of its own accord these days. 

“I’m an expert on most subjects.” 

“You’re very sure of yourself.” Both boys had forgotten, yet again, that there was a whole castle of people. Classes in session, places they needed to be. 

James had that little extra light in his eyes. The one Regulus could never decipher. 

“When one has the proof to support the claim, there’s no need to be unsure.” 

“Fine.” James resigned, dramatically. “Can’t argue with that.” 

“You never win an argument, so when are you going to stop trying?” Regulus could only see green eyes and bitten lips. Artfully messy dark waves. He was mesmerized, completely. 

“When it stops being fun.” 

God. That stupid sinful smirk would haunt Regulus for the rest of his days. 

He knew his face was turning bright red and there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

In an attempt, he tried to tuck it away, looking down at his feet and urging his ridiculous smile to disappear. 

“I’m glad you find joy in my misery.” The space between them had been reduced to about two inches, so when James leaned over to speak softly in his ear, it was not a stretch. 

He was right there, low voice, drawling. 

“Are you really so miserable with me, Regulus?” 

The same lips James constantly worries between his teeth were just barely grazing Regulus’ ear. The older boy’s natural body heat so close to his cheek set it ablaze. 

Regulus Black might as well be a puddle on the floor. 

He could hardly think, let alone move, but he found enough control to shake his head no, just barely. Answering James’ question without trusting his voice to do so. 

James leaned back just enough to meet Regulus’ eye. 

“No?” James’ sarcasm was not appreciated in this moment. Not at all. 

“No, James Potter. I should find you absolutely irritating,” Regulus never looks away. “But I don’t.” 

“Lucky for me that you were in a generous mood that day outside the train.” James said, looking at him with sweet memories dancing behind his eyes. 

Regulus stopped for a second and took in their surroundings. 

He had an itch…somewhere. 

Someone’s coming. 

Before he could verbally warn the other boy, Regulus was dragging him behind the closest door he could find and holding a hand over his mouth so he didn’t try to speak. 

They couldn’t have landed in a classroom, or the toilets. No, it had to be an actual broom closet. Packed with supplies and no room to move. 

Voices were heard heading their direction, neither of them moved a muscle. Not even to breathe. 

They were just staring at each other. Regulus slowly lowered his hand, trusting that James knew to be quiet. 

The older boy hadn’t turned towards the voices yet, keeping his wide eyes locked on Regulus, in shock. 

“…just don’t understand, Moony. Where is he always going? And why does he have to go without us?”

The voice growing closer to the door is now recognizable. Sirius. 

“James is allowed to have other friends, Padfoot. It doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about you. He loves you.” 

That’s Remus. 

Regulus was trying extremely hard not to jump to conclusions. But he knew, in his gut, that he was the ‘other friend’. If James had mentioned anything, it was probably the vaguest form of the truth. Regulus takes a moment to appreciate the genius of it. No one would ever suspect him of lying if he never had to. 

“Of course he loves me. I love him! I’m simply worried about him. What if this ‘friend’ betrays his trust? Or gets him into drugs? What will we do then, Moony?!?” 

Regulus stifles a laugh by biting his lip so hard he almost draws blood. 

But no sound escapes him. 

“Sirius. You smoke like a chimney.”

The two boys were directly on the other side of the door now. James and Regulus could hear them as if they were standing right next to them. 

This struck a thought in Regulus’ mind. 

He couldn’t voice it, obviously, so he had to act himself. 

James had his eyes closed, though, they were in complete darkness, listening with an ear pressed to the wooden door. 

Before he could overthink it, Regulus snuck his arm around the preoccupied boy and reached into the back pocket of his trousers, hand closing around the object he was searching for. 

James’ eyes popped open in surprise and even in the pitch black, Regulus could see his face go red. 

James looked to the boy questioning, until Regulus pulled out the object and his eyes lit up. 

In this form, it just looked like a thick, soft, handkerchief. 

With one wave of James’ wand it transformed into exactly what they needed. 

The cloak. 

“Are you sure you saw him go this way?” Sirius asks suddenly. 

“Yes, I saw him leave out a side door and turn down this hall.” A pause. “Check the map, maybe he’s-“

James acted without thinking. He didn’t let Remus finish his sentence. 

In a flurry of movement he threw the invisibility cloak over Regulus’ head and jumped out the door, closing it behind him. 

“Padfoot! Moony!” He screeched blood pumping with adrenaline. “I was looking for you.” 

“You were looking for us…in a broom cupboard?” Sirius questioned with an unbelieving eyebrow quirked. 

“Well. No. I was actually…scouting it for a possible prank location.” 

“And?” Remus questioned, holding a smirk at bay. 

James shook his head in mock disapproval. 

“Nah. No potential here. Not enough traffic.” 

“Too bad. We haven’t gotten Filch since last year and he’s due for a good fright.” Sirius laughs at the memory of the schools caretaker running for his life away from a very big, very fake, dragon made of flames. 

A simple firework display is what they had claimed when all four of them were dragged into Dumbledore’s office. 

“Where’s Wormtail?” James asks. 

“He’s actually enjoying himself in there.” Sirius chuckles nodding in the direction from which they all came. “I think he’s attempting to snag himself a date early so he won’t have to stress about it. Poor lad.” 

“What’s wrong with Peter wanting a date to the ball? I haven’t seen you pluck up the nerve to ask anyone.” Remus is almost too good at controlling the emotion in his voice. But both his best friends can hear the near undetectable scorn and contempt. 

Both friends choosing to ignore it in different ways.

Sirius keeps up the charade, but in his natural defensive state. 

“I never said there was anything wrong with it. And I am looking, Remus.” 

“No, you aren’t.” Remus tells him, voice growing in volume. “Girls throw themselves at you every day and I haven’t seen you ask one to be your date.” 

James looks away from the bickering pair. Letting them sort through whatever is going on there. 

His gaze went, first, to the door where a boy was hiding on the other side. 

But the door was open about two feet. 

So James threw his eyes to the stairs, behind his friends’ back. 

He saw nothing, of course. 

But a head of black curls appeared from that nothing at the top of the stairs. 

Sirius and Remus never suspected a thing as they were still entranced in each other’s frustration. 

Regulus removed the cloak, revealing his entire body.

The boy took a bow for his performance, threw a wink down at James, then disappeared out of sight. 

A smile spread across James' face before he could stop it. He shook his head. 

Oh, how he adored that boy. 

“What are you smiling about?” Sirius decided James needed to be included in the argument, which in actuality meant nothing and was just an excuse for them to be loud about each other. Something they don’t get to do often. 

“I can’t just be happy? I have the best bestfriends in the world and they’re standing here debating on something that doesn’t actually matter. And I love you both with my whole heart.” James threw his arms around the shoulders of his favorite boys. His family. 

“Somehow, with every passing day, you get more strange.” 

“What he meant to say was we love you too. Always.” Remus corrected with a genuine smile. 

Before James departed with them, he threw one last look over his shoulder at the stairs where his beautiful boy had disappeared. 

Remus was beginning to become suspicious. 

He had learned to keep a very sharp eye on his friends, for different reasons. 

Sirius…well. Sirius likes to think himself a peacemaker. Which meant inserting himself into situations that might get him into trouble. He’s never looking for a fight but if he finds one, he’s not leaving until it’s dispersed. 

Peter was the opposite. Peter was trusting and kind and he was the biggest people pleaser Remus had ever met. 

For this reason, people who might have a bone to pick with the marauders always go after Peter first. Thinking he’s the most vulnerable at any given time. 

And James. James is confident and empathetic. But he knows his limits. He knows how to choose his battles wisely. Remus has known James Potter for six years.

Not once, in those six years, has Remus ever seen a look on his face like the one he’s wearing now. 

He’s almost puzzled. His eyebrows are furrowed but he has this weird smile on his face. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor, and biting his thumbnail nervously. He’d been doing so for at least ten minutes. 

Remus was the only other person in the room. So he decided it was time. 

“Alright.” He says abruptly into the silent room. Simultaneously throwing the book he was reading down on his bed. “What’s going on with you?” 

James was visibly startled. 

“Pardon?” 

Remus repeated himself a bit louder and annunciated. 

“What is going on with you, Potter?“ 

James’ reaction was to furrow his brows again, as if perplexed. But he was smiling again too. Remus is confused. 

“What is it? That look on your face, it means something.”

“What look?” He shrugged. 

“I don’t know!” Remus laughed out. “That’s why I’m asking you.” 

“I look like this all the time.” 

“Hmm. No. You don’t. But that’s okay. These things happen.” 

“What things?” James is all of a sudden very concerned that Remus might know more than he’s letting on. 

“Things that have never happened to us before.” Remus answers with a sympathetic smile. “They happen. And then we think ‘What am I supposed to do?! This has never happened to me before!’ Really that’s all life is. Things that have never happened to us before, over and over again.” 

“Moony,” James begins, directing his gaze back towards the floor. “How do you know if you’re in love with someone?” 

“What?” He looked at James incredulously. 

“You’ve been in love.”

James shakes his head. 

“No. I don’t think I have.” He pauses, lost in his mind. “But I’m beginning to suspect…”

Remus can feel his entire face soften. 

“Is this about your friend?” 

James finally meets his eye. 

He looks terrified. 

“Yes, it is.” He says quietly. 

“Well.” Remus thinks for a moment.

 “Falling in love is like going to sleep one night and everything is, as it always has been. And the next thing you know, you’re waking up in a completely different life. And you don’t know how you got there. But it all seems to be centered around this one person.” James can already feel the churning in his stomach just thinking about it. “The feeling is different for everyone, I assume. But it’s like floating in the clouds and then being slammed back down on the ground again, repeatedly.” He chuckled humorlessly. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” 

“Yeah, it feels like that too.” 

James turns to him again and grasps his hands. His eyes wide. 

“Remus, you know that I love you, right?” 

“James, please do not confess your love to me right now.” 

“No. No, Moony.” James quickly got serious. “You are my best friend and I know you. And I can tell, when you’re with Padfoot…you’re happier.” He smiles at his friend. Remus just looks back, half in shock, but really he should’ve known. If anybody was going to notice this about Remus, it would be James. 

“And really it makes this entire conversation about my…friend a little easier.” 

“Why is that?”

“Well. Because my friend…is a boy.” James had never really said that out loud to anyone apart from the boy in question. The boy who knew all his secrets. 

Remus gave a supportive nod and a genuine smile. 

“What’s he like?” He asked quietly. 

“Um. He’s…kinda…” he trails off, lost in his thoughts again. “I don’t know.” He mumbles. 

“He’s lovely.” He said quietly with a shrug. 

His face is hot and he’s smiling like an idiot. 

That’s exactly what he is. 

He forces his smile away and then sits in great embarrassment for a few seconds. Hating his body and mind for resisting his will. 

To be completely honest, his will might not have been too solid from the jump. 

“Well, look at us.” Remus says looking around the room. “A couple of smitten fools.” 

“My thoughts exactly, Moony.” 

Later that same day, James is still moping. 

Because he’s in love. 

And because the person he’s in love with does not love him back. Not in the same way. 

And it hurts. 

But James isn’t heartbroken. Because he still has Regulus. They’re still each other’s person.

There could be a universe out there where they don’t even have this. 

There could be a universe where they never met. 

And that settles an empty feeling right in the middle of his chest.  

So he’s not heartbroken, but he gets to be disappointed in himself for as long as he wants. 

Currently, he’s sitting in the beautiful boy’s room, waiting for him to get out of quidditch practice, staring out the window-wall. 

For some reason, he’s nervous. 

Why is he so nervous? 

Maybe it’s excitement. There’s a fine line between the two. 

Anticipation feels like the right word.

After ten more agonizing minutes, he heard the door begin to open. 

On instinct, he snaps his head towards it. 

Here he comes. His heart sings. 

He commanded it to pipe down. 

Looking turned out to be a mistake. 

Every feeling he had been having beforehand was tripled. He didn’t realize he was capable of feelings things like this for another person. It felt too big to hold in his chest. 

Maybe it had been there from the beginning, growing every time he nurtured its habit. Seeing him. Talking to him. Laying with him in the quiet. 

Now James is a tree encased in vines. 

Every time he breathes he thinks of Regulus. 

It didn’t help matters that the boy came in sweaty and underdressed for the dropping temperatures outside. 

Clad only in a thin t-shirt and joggers. 

He also came in speaking. 

“Hi, I need to grab clothes and take a quick shower and then I’ll be back.” He didn’t look up at James as he walked quickly through the room. In Regulus’ own mind, he looked disgusting. Covered in mud and sweat. 

James was thinking the opposite. 

The older boy realized that Regulus was still speaking. 

“…use the shower in their room. Shouldn’t take me very long.” 

“You’re showering with who?” 

Regulus finally turns around, amused.

“No, James. I have a few Ravenclaw mates that are letting me use their shower while they go to supper. It’s closer, I won’t have to walk so far.” 

His smile fades, suddenly.

He’s still locked in on James, eyes glowing in the sunlight. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks quietly. 

James doesn’t know what he means. 

He’s just looking at him. Like he would every other day. 

He thinks. 

“What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong.” 

“No.” Regulus begins slowly walking towards him but stops too far away for James’ liking. “Something’s wrong.” 

The way Regulus was staring at him, made James have to turn away. Back to the book in his lap that he was never reading in the first place. 

“Nothing’s wrong, baby Black. I just had a…weird day.” He shook his head. He was probably just being a baby. 

Remus walks around feeling like this 24 hours a day. 

Before he knew it, he had an armful of Regulus. Who smelled more like himself than he ever had. His natural scent was something like rainwater before it fell from the sky. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles into James' shoulder.

“I know I’m gross, but you look like you needed a hug.” 

“You’re not gross.” James whispered, tucking his head into the space between Regulus’ neck and shoulder. That excitement was still there but it was mostly replaced with something else. Because he was here, in the boy’s arms and it felt like he was never supposed to be anywhere else. It was the most right he’d felt his entire life. 

Regulus finally released him, pulling back and looking down at James. 

“I’ll be right back.” He said, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Then he slowly backed away towards the door. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

So James waited some more. 

This time he didn’t mind much. He let his thoughts wander to the conversation he’d had with Remus, yet again. 

And he thought of his mother, and what she had said to him at the train. 

Maybe he should write to his mother. She would know more about unrequited love than anyone he could find here. And she knew James. Maybe she could tell him if this is just another childish crush and he’s being ridiculous, or he’s really truly in love. 

It seems so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. The world out there was in danger, a very powerful wizard was trying to murder every last person who didn’t agree with him. And James was sat contemplating teenage romance with a boy right at the center of it all. 

But then he thinks that the world wouldn’t be the world if there wasn’t a teenager somewhere having a crisis over a boy. 

Twenty minutes later, Regulus entered again. Clean and damp. 

“Alright. I’m ready now. Tell me about your weird day.” He said upon his arrival. 

James shakes his head. He doesn’t even want to broach the subject again for at least 48 hours. 

But he could never lie to Regulus. 

“S’nothing. I just had a chat with Moony today and it changed my perspective on some things.” 

Regulus crossed the room at sat opposite James on the window seat. 

“Are you trying to tell me you’re interested in Remus Lupin?” Regulus asked with complete seriousness. 

James laughed in his face. 

“No. No, absolutely not. I love him to death, but  he’s my best friend. And of course, your brother…” 

“Yes, my brother…” Sometimes, Regulus wants to punch his brother, for different reasons. But the biggest reason will always be Remus. 

Lupin had been openly pining for Sirius since 3rd year. And everyone could see it. 

There was one year, Sirius must’ve done something really stupid. Because Regulus noticed the silence of their group at supper. He noticed how they wouldn’t be in the corridors causing chaos. And Sirius was completely silent. Sirius Black isn’t silent unless he knows he’s the one that messed up. 

But that time passed and they got back to normal. Remus took a bit longer to come around. 

But the look never left his eyes, every time he saw Sirius. Even if he was angry, or sad, or disappointed. It was always love underneath. 

Regulus wanted to kick his brother in the balls and tell him to get it together. Not everybody has the opportunity to be loved that way. 

Sirius would be a fool if he wasn’t in love with Remus. 

But don’t worry, he definitely is. 

“So? What did Lupin have to say that was so life changing?” He rolled his eyes. Maybe there was a little jealousy lingering. 

James giggled at him.  

“It’s not like that. He’s just more experienced in life with some things that I’m not. So I guess I went to him for advice of sorts.” He shrugs it off likes it’s nothing. 

Regulus nods his head. 

Suddenly he’s craving a cigarette. Odd. He hasn’t felt that particular itch in months. 

At the same time he has another idea. 

“Stay here, I’ll be right back.” Then he laughs out of the room, leaving James behind, completely befuddled. 

Today seemed like the day. 

Regulus made his way outside to the greenhouses and the surrounding gardens. 

He found the person he was looking for immediately, in the same place she’d been last time he saw her. Fair hair pulled back away from her face.

“I wondered when you’d be back.” She smiled. 

“What can I do ya for?” She said, smacking her gum. 

“Pack of cigarettes and a joint.” He replied, handing her way more than she charges. 

“For what you’re paying I’ll throw in an extra joint.” She laughs. “Enjoy.” 

“Thank you.” He smiled and practically skipped away. 

“That’s an odd one, for sure.” The girl says to herself, pocketing her new earnings. 

James doesn’t know what he was expecting. But it wasn’t this. 

Not even Sirius had convinced James to join in when he was smoking a joint. 

It never seemed like the right time or place. 

But if there was such a time and place, it would be today. 

Regulus smokes a cigarette first, so James is watching him do so and internally debating on whether or not he should do this. What if he says something idiotic about how fit Regulus is? Or if he can’t handle it at all and vomits everywhere? 

Either way, he’s going to die of humiliation. 

“Golden boy.” Regulus singsongs at him, calling him back to reality. “I’m not trying to pressure you. It really was just a suggestion. You said you had a weird day, and I thought it might help.” He shrugs, taking another puff of his cigarette. 

“No, I want to. Feels like the right time.” James isn’t trying to be creepy just watching Regulus smoke. But they were having a conversation and it would be impolite not to look at someone while you’re speaking to them. 

“Alright then.“ He finally stamped out the smoking filter. “Stay in a calm state of mind, and you’ll be fine. You’ve faced stronger stuff than this.” Regulus brought the joint to his mouth and wrapped his lips around it, and lit the end. 

James watched, unblinking. 

Regulus puffed on it twice, then held it out for James to take. 

20 minutes later, James was sufficiently buzzed. 

There was a record playing in the corner, and the room was filled with smoke. 

And he wasn’t worried. Not at all. 

This is probably what Regulus meant. 

Instead of worrying about what Regulus would do if James said something unintelligent, he was just thinking of the boy's eyes. And his hands. 

I bet he plays piano. He thinks. James decides to ask. 

“Do you play the piano?” 

The room had been quiet, just soft musical notes drifting through the air. 

Regulus smiled over at him. 

“I did, yeah. Haven’t in a few years.” 

“Mmm.” James says nodding. “I figured. You’ve got the fingers for it.” He makes this comment offhand, not dwelling on it. 

Regulus just keeps looking at him, trying not to laugh and trying not to sit in the deep yearning that was fired up in his belly. 

“I’d like to hear you play sometime.” James says, taking another hit, then passing it. 

“Alright.” Regulus agrees. “I’ve never played for anybody before. Not since I was a child, just starting out.” 

“I bet you’re fantastic.” James states slowly. 

“Wait til you’ve heard it, golden boy. Might not live up to your expectations.” 

“Thank you. For this. It helped.” 

“Anytime. You’re handling it like a seasoned smoker. I’m impressed.” Regulus ashes the joint and smiles a small smile at him. 

“Are you a seasoned smoker?” James laughs. 

“I smoke here and there. Usually just for stressful days.” 

“Next time you have a stressful day, I want to join.” James tells him, like a 12 year old with big hopeful eyes. 

“You’ll be the first person I call.” 

A few days later…

It was dark out already. In winter, the sun had to leave long before Regulus would’ve liked. 

He was in the astronomy tower, packing up his things to leave. 

He originally came up here to think. And breathe with the world. 

And miss James. The astronomy tower only took a little of the sting away from his longing.

He picked up his bag to go, when he heard it. 

A voice. 

Where are you?

He would know it anywhere. 

James.

Hearing the boys voice in his head was less important than why he heard it. James was looking for him.

Regulus’ mind went directly to the worst case scenario. He raced out the door, basically jumping down the stairs. 

He didn’t know where James was. And the urgency in which he had been looking for Regulus was becoming worrisome. 

But where? 

He stopped. He quieted every thought in his mind and focused. 

He can do this. Think. Where is he?

Not the great hall. Not Gryfendor tower. Not in the courtyard. 

Aha! 

The quidditch pitch. 

But why was James riding a broom in this freezing weather? 

Regulus made his way to the pitch. Thankful that it was a short journey. 

It was a still, winter night. No wind. 

Yet, Regulus smelled James before he ever had the quidditch pitch in his sights. 

The boy wasn’t on a broom like Regulus had anticipated. 

He was just laying smack in the middle. Staring up at the stars. 

Regulus took a moment to watch without letting his presence be known. 

James was gorgeous. 

And the night sky only made him shine brighter. 

He finally decides to say something. 

“Kind of a cold night for star gazing, isn’t it?“ 

Regulus spoke into the darkness. 

James visibly startled but when his eyes landed on Regulus he smiled. A knowing smile. A familiar smile. He looked at Regulus like it was good to see him. 

“How did you know I was here, baby black?”Still smiling. 

“I used my psychic powers.” Regulus deadpans. It wasn’t too far from the truth. 

“I don’t doubt it.” James chuckles. 

“Was there any chance you were…looking for me?” He asks hesitantly. 

“I was wondering where you were. What you were up to. But I didn't know if you were busy.” James shrugged. 

“I’m never busy.” Regulus said, closing the distance between them and dropping himself to the ground next to James. 

James notes how gracefully he does this. Even falling to the ground like he’s made of angel feathers. 

“I actually wanted to show you something.” James whispered. 

“Oh?” 

“Now would probably be the best time. Every one is enjoying their celebratory feast after the first task.” Then James rose to his feet, holding out a hand for Regulus to take. 

He did. 

Once they were both standing, James grabbed Regulus’ bag from the ground, threw it over his shoulder, and started walking. 

Towards the forbidden forrest. 

This made Regulus’ steps falter only slightly. But James caught it. 

“You have nothing to be scared of. I happen to know one of the caretakers of the forrest and I can assure you, it doesn’t get life-threatening until a mile into it.” He smiles that dazzling smile. “And we aren’t going near that far.” 

“Okay. I’m trusting you not to get me brutally murdered.” 

“Then we would both be getting brutally murdered.” James says, leading them past the tree line. 

“Good. If you survived, I would be haunting you the rest of your life.” 

“Promise?” James quipped. 

“That, I can promise with one hundred percent certainty.” He laughed back at him. 

“Good. Glad we agree.” James says quietly, smiling to himself. 

They walk for five more minutes until James suddenly stops and spreads him arms out towards there surrounds. 

Regulus looked around and found only the same forrest they had been walking in the whole time. 

“Is there supposed to be something special about this spot in particular?” He asks. 

“Well it has sentimental value. But there’s something else.” He paused. “Wait for it.” 

Regulus opened his mouth to ask him what he was waiting for when it fell right out of the sky. Hitting his cheek. 

Rain. 

But not cold, unbearable rain. It was a summer shower. Here in the middle of a December night. 

This water was different, though. 

It seemed to glow bright blue, even in the puddles it was forming on the ground. 

“What is this?” Regulus asked, laughing in surprise. 

“It’s what they call ‘nourishing water’, it’s actually a potion that looks and tastes just like water, but it has all the vitamins any living creature could ever need. And in the dark, it glows.” He smiled, reaching his hand out to let the bright liquid catch in the bowl he made for it. 

Regulus couldn’t help but fall in love all over again. 

Right at that second. 

James was so utterly perfect. 

“Why is it here? For the animals?” Regulus asked quietly. 

“For everything that lives here.” He smiled again. “Wait for it.” He repeated. 

10 seconds later, the rain stopped. 

As if it has never even happened. 

But the ground still resembled the sky above them with flecks of blue being absorbed into the soil. 

“Thank you for showing me this.” Regulus whispered, still filled with a childlike sense of wonder. 

At this place. And the world. 

And this boy. 

“Thank you for trusting me.” James replied. “Now,” he said louder. Regulus would call that his ‘announcer’ voice. It was the one he used when he was surrounded by a lot of people, and a version of it is what he uses to project his voice during a quidditch match. It’s the show voice. “It’s time for the main event.” 

Regulus’ eyebrows shot to his forehead. 

“That wasn’t the main event?”

“Nope.” James said, popping the last consonant. “That was the opening act. More like a very helpful, surprise.” He laughed. 

“It’ll be hard to follow that.”  

“You can give me your feedback afterwards.” 

James smiled but it was one only for Regulus. The younger boy was quickly learning to tell the difference. 

“Alright.” He said quietly. 

James, still smiling, took a step back and closed him eyes. 

Nothing happened. 

Then everything happened. 

James wasn’t James anymore. 

It was Prongs. 

Regulus let out a gasp. 

He was even more beautiful in person than in his dreams. His antlers seemed to reach for the heavens. And he was sizing Regulus up yet again, before stepping forward. 

Regulus didn’t move. Prongs was such a bold creature. Striking. And something of a different world. Regulus found it hard to believe animals like this just existed out in the wild. 

But they really didn’t. 

This was James personified into a member of the animal kingdom. This was his core. 

And they had the same eyes. 

Big green eyes. 

That shined like the sun. 

Regulus noticed something else. 

A black star of fur in the center of Prong’s wide chest. 

I’ve seen that before. He thinks to himself. 

Regulus doesn’t know what he was expecting to happen. 

But he was frozen in place when Prongs put one hoof forward, and bowed his head to him. 

Regulus smiled at him. 

“Does this mean you respect me?” He asked smugly. 

Prongs huffed. 

This made Regulus throw his head back in a quiet laugh. 

When he looked back, Prongs wasn’t there any more. 

Instead replaced with his favorite human. Smiling from ear to ear. 

I love you. Regulus thought. 

“So. What did you think?” James stepped forward to stand closer to Regulus. Always closer. 

“I think he’s amazing. He’s like a…physical embodiment of your instincts. Like you without the goofy, playfulness.” 

James didn’t know how to take this. 

“So without the goofy and playful, what am I?” 

“Strong. Brave. The protector. And quiet. Which is surprising.” He laughed, wordlessly taking James’ hand in his, leading them back the way they came. 

James grabbed Regulus’ bag again on the way out. 

“You don’t have to do that. I have functioning arms.” Regulus told him. 

“Don’t be silly. I want to. Besides, we wouldn't want you to bruise.” Regulus promptly dropped his hand to slap him on the shoulder. Though, James reconnected them when he dropped his hand by his side. 

As they were approaching the tree line again, Regulus stopped and looked down at their joined hands. 

James was mindlessly rubbing circles with his thumb. 

“What did Prongs think of me?” Regulus whispered. 

“You know it’s strange,” James whispered back, keeping the moment quiet. “He seemed to recognize you. He never shows any sign of acknowledgment towards anyone he’s never met before. Overall, I’d say he likes you almost as much as I do.” 

Regulus tried not to freak out. 

James said he liked him. 

Obviously he knew, that James liked him enough to be his friend. 

But he couldn’t help the thrill he got from James voicing it aloud. 

“Good.” He said. “I was nervous.” 

“No reason to be.” James whispered. Then he brought the hand he currently held in his own up to his lips and pressed a light kiss to the back of Regulus’ fingers. 

To say that Regulus was swept off his feet in an understatement. 

“It’s late. You’ll catch your death out here, golden boy.” 

“Worth it.” He winked. 

Then he led them back towards the castle, still hand in hand. 

The Yule Ball was as uneventful as Regulus thought it would be. 

But he wasn’t necessarily having a bad time. The girl he came with, her name was Sarah or something, some Hufflepuff, had a few friends. They all just sat around talking and pointing out couples that looked to be getting comfortable. 

Regulus might also be taking a few drinks from one of her friends’ flasks. But that was neither here nor there. It was a party. He could drink if he wanted. The fire whiskey made him feel warm, in a cheap dirty way. Not pure like James. 

He was 90% sure someone already spiked the punch. 

He had distracted himself for a good while before it stopped working. 

His eyes couldn’t help who they wanted to see. 

And they found him. 

They always found him. 

He was on the floor, with his friends. Laughing. Not even really dancing. Just moving to the beat of the music and talking amongst themselves. 

But in that moment Regulus just wanted to be with him. 

He just wanted to be surrounded by the smell of oak trees and honey. He wanted the boy that belonged to him and only him. 

So he took another shot from the stranger’s flask and got up.

What was he going to do?

James was in the middle of a crowd of people. Regulus could still only see him. Everyone else was out of focus. Unimportant. 

He maneuvered himself through people until he was directly behind James. Waiting for his moment. 

Regulus’ back was to the other boy, but he was listening to the conversation. 

“…not even sure this would really be her scene. She mostly sticks to the library.” That was Lily. 

“You should go be with her. Don’t feel obligated to be here just because your friends are.” That was James. His James. He missed his golden boy. 

Drunk thoughts were so much harder to keep at bay. 

“Are you sure you won’t feel alone? Remus and Sirius are probably already shacked up in your room.” She joked. 

“I’m fine. I promise. You go.” He waved her off. This was Regulus’ moment. 

“If you’re sure. Come find me later if it gets too brutal.” She laughed. Finally walking away. 

Regulus took the opportunity. And completely turned his whole body around. 

Before he could think any more about it, he settled his hands on James’ hips and tucked his head into the crook of his neck. Regulus was a little taller now. It wasn’t much of a stretch. 

“Meet me in the room.” He whispered right into James’ ear. 

James froze but seemed to almost melt into Regulus’ touch. 

He nodded in response. 

Regulus didn’t want to wait any longer. 

He made his way out and up to the 5th floor without ever looking back. 

Inside the room was too hot. Regulus threw off the outer layer of his robes. He untied the bow tie feeling like it was strangling him. 

He yanked it off his neck and threw it across the room. 

Then James walked in. 

And everything stopped. 

The only light was the fire. Crackling against the brutal cold of winter. 

James was taking Regulus in. 

“What happened to your date?” James asked, walking towards him. 

Regulus for some reason felt the need to take some steps back. He didn’t know what his mind was going to drive him to do tonight. 

“I left her with her friends. She didn’t mind.” He shrugged. 

“And what happened to the rest of your clothes?” James countered. 

“I…got hot.” 

“You got hot.” James repeated. Taking 2 more steps towards him. Regulus didn’t move this time. 

“Yes.” 

“Regulus Arcturus Black.” James said in an accusing tone. “Have you been drinking?” 

“First of all, it drives me crazy when you say my name like that. And second, maybe I have. Is that so wrong? Maybe I wanted to break the rules for once.” He wasn’t drunk enough to be incoherent. But he was tipsy enough to not have a filter. 

“Oh. Trying to rebel, are you?” 

Regulus just wanted to kiss the stupid smirk right off his stupidly perfect face. 

Wait no. That wasn’t right. 

This thought wasn’t pre-approved before it came marching to the front of his brain. 

And now it’s all he can think. 

“I’m not trying to rebel. I am rebelling. Get with the program, Potter.” 

“What have I told you about calling me that.” 

Regulus wanted to tease him. It was fun. His favorite pastime. 

“I don’t know, Potter. Care to remind me?” He smirked. 

James didn’t respond. 

“What? No comeback?” Regulus said gentler this time. 

“I’m sorry. I just got distracted by how pretty you are like this.” James laughed. 

Regulus wanted to faint at the comment. “Are you suggesting that I’m not pretty all the time?” He joked instead. 

“Of course you are.” That was not a joke. No sarcasm. “But like this…” he made 3 more steps towards him. Being able to see his whole body now. “Half undressed. Pink cheeks from the alcohol. Blown out eyes. You’re sort of breathtaking.” 

“Have you been drinking?” Regulus asked. 

“Not a drop.” James said in seriousness. This sentence changed everything for Regulus. He felt sobriety coming back to him but it was replaced by a different high. 

The warmth. 

The heat. 

The real thing. 

Not some cheap knock off of a feeling. 

Everywhere James’ eyes traveled he felt another wave of it hit him. 

James was getting closer. 

And Regulus had backed himself into the desk that separates the two halves of the room. 

Now James was in his space. Hands resting on the desk behind him, framing him in. Not letting him escape. 

“You really took me by surprise on the dance floor, baby Black.” He whispered.

That nickname would be the death of him. 

Regulus’ entire body was on fire now. 

That unnamed feeling was taking over every inch of his skin. 

And he could feel James' breath hitting his cheek. 

God help him. 

“Hope I didn’t pull you away from anything too entertaining.” Regulus was taunting him. The game they were playing had become too addicting to stop. 

“Don’t worry.” James laughed. Eyes crinkling in the corners. “I’m entertained right where I am.” 

He was so close. Regulus was getting drunk all over again on the smell of him. 

There was a hint of aftershave mixed with his natural scent. It was intoxicating. 

“You smell amazing, did you know?” Regulus whispered before moving into his personal space to get even more of it. “Like honey.” 

“You are completely out of it right now, baby Black.” James shook his head. 

“I’m not.” He insisted. “I know exactly what I’m doing. Where I am. And who I’m with.” 

“Mhm. Whatever you say, baby Black.”

Regulus had to groan. “Will you please stop calling me that?” 

“I can’t call you by your full name. I can’t call you ‘baby Black’. Make up your mind, love, what’s it gonna be?“ he was laughing like he hadn’t just set everything inside Regulus on fire. 

“You’re driving me crazy.” He whispered, closing his eyes and trying to regain the upper hand to his impulses. 

“Yeah? Doesn’t seem like it.” James teased. He really was very good at this game. 

“Okay, Golden Boy. You win.” He whispered. He just wanted to resign. He wanted to give himself over to James completely but his conscience was telling him to back down. If he didn’t, and James reacted badly. He would never forgive himself. 

“What did I win?” 

“I’m too drunk to play this game. I’ll end up saying something stupid.” 

“Nothing that ever comes out of your mouth is stupid.” James said eyeing Regulus up close. 

“What game are we playing, Regulus?”

“You tell me. You’re much better at it.” 

“You don’t seem too challenged in that department.” James said, something like anger flashed across his hazel green eyes. 

“And what gave you that impression?” Regulus asked. 

“You managed to snag yourself a date, last minute.” James pushed himself off the desk but stayed right where he was. Standing too close for Regulus to focus. “And since you came back after the summer, Evan Rosier has been hanging off you like-“

“Wait.” Regulus was already giggling. “You think that Evan Rosier is interested in me.” Ha! The thought. “Golden Boy, your instincts are mistaken. If he’s been anywhere near me this year it’s only to steal my transfiguration notes.” Then he remembered. “And I already told you that anybody I took to the ball would only be a one time thing. You know I don’t feel that way about-“ he cut himself off. He really was much more inebriated than he had first assumed. 

“About what? You don’t feel that way about what?” James was pushing him. 

“About girls. You know that.” He whispered. 

“Yes. I do. I know that.” James sighed. “I’m sorry. It was stupid of me.”

“Why were you angry?” Regulus was still whispering. And trying not to let the castle that they had built together crumble. 

“Because Regulus. It makes me angry to see you with anyone. Especially people like Evan Rosier who are the scum of the earth and don’t deserve to even look in your direction. It pisses me off because you deserve better.” 

“What if I don’t deserve better? What if I’m not even worth the gum someone scrapes off their shoe?” Regulus couldn’t look at him. He was so ashamed. Of his family. Of his roommates. Of himself. 

“Hey.” Regulus felt a hand under his chin forcing him to look up. “Don’t ever talk about yourself like that in front of me.” James’ eyes were deadly serious. And it scared Regulus to his core. “Regulus Black, you are…made of stardust. You are something completely apart from this world and yet so completely of it. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re my favorite person in the universe. So don’t talk bad about yourself. It questions my judgment.” He laughed. But tears had gathered in his eyes. Regulus wanted to kiss the tears away and tell them never to return. 

“Maybe you should question your judgment.” Regulus teased. But his voice was still small. 

“Oi! My judgment is impeccable.” 

“You’re my favorite person too.”

James seemed taken aback like he hadn’t expected this response. 

“You don’t have to say it back just because I said it to you.” 

“I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true, James. When the world is falling apart around me, I only think of you.” He shrugged. 

James was still so close. Regulus could count his eyelashes. 

“I really wish you hadn’t decided to rebel tonight, baby Black.” He whispered. And then took a full step back. 

“What? Why?” Regulus was confused. 

“Because I can’t tell if you really want to tell me all of this or if it’s just the firewhiskey talking.” 

“I have these thoughts doing laps in mind constantly. The alcohol only gives me the courage to speak them aloud.” 

“What is that you haven’t been telling me?”

Regulus sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. He considered all the information he had. James had just confessed that Regulus was his favorite person. If he opened up his heart completely to the boy, and he didn’t feel the same, there’s a chance they could recover. After all Lily and James had been able to maintain a friendship but that was after James realized that he didn’t have real feelings for her. 

“No. None of that. Don’t retreat back into your mind. Tell me what you’re thinking.” James reached out and grabbed Regulus’ hand to tug him back into the present moment. 

“What if you run away?” Regulus whispered he was looking down at their intertwined hands. Running his thumbs over the hills of James’ knuckles. 

“Let’s see. You know that I turn into a stag on full moons to run around with my werewolf friend. You know that I embarrassed myself in front of a girl I didn’t even like for years, just to get her attention. And you know that I’m secretly terrible at Divinations but secretly gifted at Potions. You haven’t ran away once. Nothing you could ever say to me would ever make me run away.” 

“Okay.” Regulus relented. “Let’s sit.” 

He didn’t let go of James’ hand. He just led him to the couch and fell into it. 

He still didn’t release James’ hand. 

He needed to feel grounded. 

“I am so terrified right now.” Regulus started quietly. James didn’t say anything. He just squeezed his hand to let him know he was still there. God he loved everything about this ridiculous boy. 

“I’ve never had a connection like the one you and I have. Our lives had always coincided but until that day by the train, I didn’t know how… electric you were. I finally understood what everyone had been talking about my whole life. ‘The James Potter, the Golden Boy’. I wanted to hate you so badly. But you just bounced up to me and asked for my help. Your presence was so warm. And you were kind. I thought you’d be vile, for some reason.” He laughed at the fact that he can’t even remember thinking that way. It was all washed away now and replaced with the boy he knew. “And then something happened last Christmas break. I wouldn’t even know how to put it into words. Some kind of…tightening. Like someone took all of the slack out of the string that binds us together. And when you’re gone…it feels like I’m not even there. It feels like I’m being pulled and torn apart. And anytime I see you but can’t get to you, I’m so angry and sad and jealous. Jealous of all the people that get to have your attention and your thoughtfulness and your warmth. I didn’t realize…” Regulus was holding his breath. He hasn’t looked at James the whole time he’d been speaking. But in this moment he had to close his eyes. If James decided to get up and walk out the door Regulus would not have the heart to watch. It would destroy him. 

“I didn’t realize…” he whispered. “that I was in love with you until I saw you again after the summer. That miserable summer where all I could do was think about you and imagine you out in the sun.” Regulus was no longer holding his breath. His eyes were still closed. And James’ hand hadn’t moved an inch from his own. He was still holding on. He was still there. 

“When I saw you again it was like everything that had been wrong for two months was suddenly righted again. Because you were smiling at me. Because you were happy. And the fact that I had anything to do with it was just a bonus. I’m lucky that you let me experience your sunlight so close. At a certain point I realized I didn’t care if the people around me found out that we were…friends. I don’t care if I get burned. If you decided to get up and walk out the door I wouldn’t stop you. It would hurt me. But at least I got to see you for the time that I did. You are truly the greatest blessing that the universe has ever bestowed upon me.” 

Then he opened his eyes. 

“Okay. That’s what I had to say.” He sighed. 

He still couldn’t dare to look at the boy he’d just poured his heart out to. 

“Regulus.” Oh God that voice. It was soft and sweet and it made all the rigidity in Regulus’ body melt away. “I really wish you hadn’t decided to get drunk tonight.” 

Regulus did look at him then. After so long of not looking. James was smiling. But not the dazzling overwhelming smile. This one was small and quiet in its happiness. But it held so much. “Why?” 

James got closer. Impossibly closer. 

“Because now I can’t even kiss you. It would be taking advantage.” He whispered. “And I’ve got an honorable reputation to uphold.” 

“Don’t- don’t do anything you don’t want to do just because you feel bad for me. I’m almost a grown person, James, I can handle the rejection.” He whispered back. If it was going to happen he just wanted to rip it off like a bandaid. 

“Regulus.” A shiver ran down his spine. Then James put his mouth right next to Regulus’ ear. 

“I love you. And I want to devour you, but…” he pulled back. “Someone decided to get drunk with his date at the ball. And now nobody gets to have a good time.” This was not the time for teasing. Regulus already feels bad enough for drinking all their firewhiskey and then leaving his date to go pull James away. 

But. 

But James said he loved him. 

The words just came out of his mouth. 

“I only drank because I was having an awful time watching you have fun with other people. Like Evans.” He pouted slightly. 

“Aww baby Black, are you jealous?” 

“Yes I am.” He stated firmly. He didn’t care if it was immature. His feelings didn’t care about immaturity. 

“Well don’t be. I only have eyes for you.” James whispered. Regulus could feel his breath hit his skin. “And this half done up look isn’t exactly helping.” James eyes flicked down and roamed over Regulus’ body. 

The top button of his dress shirt had come open. James noticed. His finger hovered above the exposed skin. 

But he stopped himself. 

“I’m not even that drunk.” Regulus argued his case with all the sobriety and sound mind he had left. 

“Don’t tempt me.” James’ pupils were blown out. Regulus saw it. The want. He wanted him. 

Regulus decided that words weren’t helping his case. So he just slowly reached down and popped open two more buttons. 

“Regulus, what are you doing?” 

“I told you. I’m hot.” 

“Please don’t do that.” James pleaded. 

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“You wanna bet?” James looked hungry. He looked to be on the verge of frustration. 

“Yes.” Regulus was daring him to do something. He needed him to do something. 

James jumped off the couch. 

“No. No I can’t.” He shook his head. Taking 3 steps back. 

“You don’t want to?” Regulus feigned ignorance. 

“Of course I do.” James said with a pained expression. “More than I’ve ever wanted anything.” 

“Come back over here.” Regulus almost commanded. 

James sighed again but obeyed and fell back into the couch beside Regulus, but refused to look at him. 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Regulus grabbed James by the wrist. “But I just need…” he trailed off. 

Fuck it. 

Regulus silently brought James’ hand up to his exposed chest. And laid it on his heart. 

Internally Regulus felt like he’d been resuscitated with electric shock. But he was trying everything to keep his exterior calm. 

His heart was racing. 

James was just looking down at where skin met skin. 

“Can you feel that?”

James nodded in a daze. But said nothing. He just let his hand wander. Under the material of Regulus’ shirt. The pads of his fingers moved up to the pulse point just below Regulus’ jaw. Tracing the lines of him. Regulus shivered at the trail of fire left in the wake of him. 

“I just want you to know. That when I see you again, I’m not holding back.” James whispered. There was no playfulness in his tone. It was all gone. 

James brushed his hand against Regulus’ heart one more time before he got up. 

“Where are you going?” 

“I’m going to get you some water. And then you are going to bed. So I can see you again.” He was walking backwards while he was talking. He winked. Then disappeared behind the door. 

Regulus was left alone with everything that had just transpired between them. 

And a laugh bubbled up out of him before he could help it. 

James Potter, perfect Golden Boy James Potter had just admitted to loving him. And wanting him. 

And tomorrow. 

Tomorrow they would be free to act. With no barriers or restraints. 

James returned to the room with a glass of water and a sobering tonic. 

But the boy he’d left was fast asleep on the couch. 

Curled into a throw pillow.

James was so in love. If you couldn’t tell already. 

Regulus was so breathtaking. At any and all hours of the day. But sleeping Regulus was truly a sight. 

Black curls falling into his face. No tension in the muscles around his eyes. 

He was at peace. 

And James couldn’t look away. 

Tomorrow. He kept thinking. Tomorrow everything would be different. 

He smiled to himself then quietly made him way to his own bedroom. Walking the halls without his usual suspicion and worry of getting caught. Students would be up roaming around til dawn. 

He used the walk to think about Regulus. And what he would say tomorrow. He had a permanent smile on his face all the way to Gryfendor tower. 

Regulus woke up in a start. He shot up and realized very quickly that he was not in the very large bed. 

He was on the couch. 

He had fallen asleep. James went to get him water and he fell asleep. 

James. 

Oh God. 

Last night came back to Regulus in a tidal wave of memories. 

He had told him. 

He confessed his love to James Potter. 

And James said he loved him back. 

But he wouldn’t even kiss him because he was drunk. 

Damn him and his perfect honor. 

Regulus wasn’t drunk anymore. 

But he was gross. 

He had to take a shower before he saw James again. 

He was up before he could recognize that pounding in his head. 

He had to sit back down. 

No. He had to go. He had to see him. 

He was up again and running out the door towards the dungeons. 

James awoke to two sets of eyes staring at him up close. 

“What the hell are you two doing?” He asked rubbing the sleep that’s still there away from his eyes. 

“We’re making sure you’re James and not a copy.” 

“Um. Why?”

“Because when you came in last night, you had a shit eating grin on your face, you said nothing to no one. And 5 minutes ago you started mumbling about the stars in your sleep.” Sirius looked exasperated. 

“Must you watch me like a hawk while I’m sleeping?” He said teasing his best friend. 

“Until I find out what you’re hiding, yes.” 

“Remus. Help me.” James begged. 

“Don’t drag me into this. I try to keep him out of your business as much as I can but he doesn’t like to listen.” 

“Did you two enjoy yourselves after the ball last night?” James quirked his eyebrow and gave them a knowing smirk. 

Remus’ cheeks went dark pink. But he said nothing. 

Sirius on the other hand. 

“If we can’t be in your business then you can’t be in our business.” He said turning his nose up and walking away. 

“That’s fine. I don’t want to be in your business.” He laughed. “Okay lads. Sorry to be a downer but McGonagall roped me into helping set up for the second task.” He rolled his eyes faking annoyance. He really did love Minnie. But he needed to use her as an excuse. 

Sirius wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I think the whole thing is completely unreasonable. Who puts children in situations like these? It’s perverted!” 

“We’re all aware of your stance on the matter, Sirius.” Remus said from across the room, not looking up. That was his superpower. 

“Don’t be upset, Pads.” James clapped his hand on his best friends back. “I’ll be back before you know it.” 

James the disappeared into the bathroom to get ready. 

When James made it back to the room of requirement, he found it empty. 

So the beautiful boy he’d left sleeping here had already woken up. 

I hope he knows to come back. 

I hope he knows I’m here. 

A little voice in the back of his head says 

I always know where you are.

Wha-

What-

What just happened. 

He hadn’t heard a voice in his head like that since summer. 

Oh. 

It was Regulus. 

But how- 

How did he just- 

Do that. 

Had he always been able to do that? Obviously not or he wouldn’t have been putting in the effort to fold paper birds. 

But how was James supposed to know what Regulus could hear and what he couldn’t? 

If he was a mind reader now James was going to have to rein in some of his more…inappropriate thoughts. 

That was going to be a task what with everything that’s out in the open now. 

They love each other. 

Regulus loves him. 

James almost couldn’t believe it when he told him. 

God knows he had pined for Regulus for a long time. Always trying to keep his heart under control when he entered the room. 

James was nervous when he was getting ready this morning. Showering and brushing his teeth. Combing his untamed hair. He decided on comfort casual with grey sweats and a soft, red(of course), jumper  over his white tshirt. 

What would Regulus look like after last night? Did he sleep okay? Was he hungover? 

What does hungover Regulus look like? 

James had his answer soon enough. The younger Black brother silently slid into the room. 

His eyes scanning to find James. 

The older boy was sitting by the window looking out at the bright morning. 

He was a vision. 

Regulus, finally clean, looked better than he felt. 

He had on every day black trousers and a looser long sleeve white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 

His head felt like someone put it through a meat mincer. And all morning he felt like he was going to be sick. 

But of course, as soon as he laid eyes on the other boy, it all faded to nothing but a dull ache. 

“Good morning, sunshine.” James greeted him smiling. 

“Morning.” He said quietly. His voice was rough with sleep and disuse. He hadn’t spoken to anyone. Even when Evan passed him in the hall and asked where he’d been, he just shrugged and continued on his way. 

“Tea?” He was still smiling like the sun. 

If he’s this chipper every morning, I’m going to murder him before he’s 20. 

“Please.” Regulus nodded. 

James giggled. “Um. I heard that, ya know?” 

Regulus eyes went wide. “What?” 

“‘If he’s this chipper every morning, I’m going to murder him before he’s 20.’ I heard that.” He was laughing. 

“But- but I didn’t- say that out loud did I?” 

“Um. No. You didn’t.” 

“So how…I’m confused. James, I’m very hungover, and I need you to explain it to me.” 

He said. Closing his eyes. 

“Well earlier I was just sitting here, thinking to myself. Then I heard you…answer. Which was odd. But it happened before. The dream. I know you remember. Anyway, I assumed you knew. But I guess not.” He took a sip of tea. 

“But how? You didn’t do anything to…be able to-“ 

“No. No. I promise I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that on purpose.” He looked alarmed that Regulus thought he might be messing with him. “To be honest I think it has more to do with you than it does with me. I’m just lucky I guess.” He smiled. Taking another sip of tea and shrugging. 

Regulus couldn’t help but smile. 

“Maybe…maybe it’s like spells. The intent is a very important factor. If either of us want the other to hear something, then it goes through. Earlier I thought I was just- I thought I was imagining things. I was…in the shower and-“

“You were in the shower?” 

“Yes and-“

“Wait. You were in the shower and you thought you were imagining my voice in your head?” 

“Yes!”

“Okay” he smiled cheeky. “Carry on.” 

Regulus rolled his eyes fondly. 

“I hate you. Anyway. I wasn’t aware that we were actually communicating.” He paused. 

“Does this mean we don’t have to send anymore paper birds?” He questioned aloud. 

“That’s exactly what I thought.” He laughed. 

“It’s a shame. I’ll miss them.” 

“You’re going to miss little spelled paper birds when we can communicate telepathically?” 

“They were cute.” Regulus shrugged blushing. 

“You’re pretty cute.” James said back. 

“God, I hate you.” Regulus said rolling his eyes again but joining James to sit on the window with his tea. 

“No, you don’t.” 

“No, I don’t.”  Regulus agrees easily. 

“Glad we agree then.” Another sip of tea. 

You’re insufferable. 

“Oi! You are not allowed to use it to insult me.” James batted at his arm. 

“I’ll use it however I see fit.” 

“Are you almost done with your tea?” James asked, putting his own empty cup on the desk. 

“Sure. Why?” Regulus mirrored his actions. 

“Because.” That’s all he said. Then he grabbed Regulus by the hand and pulled him to his feet. 

James turned and headed in the direction of the couch. The fire was always going. Never needing wood. 

Where does the smoke go? Regulus wondered. 

“It’s probably spelled to evaporate into mist before it ever gets to the top of the room. I read about it somewhere. Some people who live in flats have spelled fireplaces and obviously they can’t have a chimney through other peoples flats.” He laughed. He pulled them both down on the couch. 

“I don’t know why that keeps happening on accident.” Regulus said. 

“You’re hungover. Probably not in your strongest mental state.” 

“I’m always in my ‘strongest mental state’, thank you very much!” 

“You weren’t last night. You were proper shitfaced.” James laughed, making fun of him. 

“Piss off! I was tipsy at best.” 

“No. You were drunk. You never would’ve told me half of what you told me last night if you were anywhere near sober.” 

Regulus had replayed the memories many times throughout the morning. 

The honesty. 

And understanding. 

And want. 

It was all there, painted on the back of his eyelids. 

“I’m so sorry for just dumping all that in your lap, I just wanted-“

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I understand. Don’t apologize. I’m fucking over the moon happy, so don’t you dare apologize. And I meant what I said.” 

“You did?” Regulus went quiet. He was ready to let himself be happy but he was so scared of being left alone. 

“Of course I did. I love you. Very much. I want to be with you all the time. I want to protect you and spoil you and take care of you when you’re sick because it makes me happy. Your happiness is all I want.”

Regulus took a deep breath and sighed in relief. 

“Okay.” 

James smiled big. 

“Good.” Four beats of silence followed and then 

“I have another question…” James said slowly. 

Then Regulus felt that very familiar feeling. James eyes on him. Traveling up his arms, over his collarbone, all the way up his neck to his cheeks. He could feel the heat traveling with it. Drawing all his blood to the surface and turning his ivory skin pink. 

Then he felt James’ fingers toying with the rolled up sleeve of his shirt. 

Regulus’ eyes followed that motion. 

“Ask.” He whispered. 

“Can I-“

“Yes.” 

“You didn’t even let me ask.”

“You don’t have to ask. You never have to ask. I always want…”

“You want…?”

“Everything.”

“Very specific, baby Black.” James was slowly moving closer. Into Regulus’ space.

There was that smell again. 

Honey. Oak. And the smallest hint of aftershave. 

James’ lips were grazing the shell of his ear. Teasing him. 

Then

“Can I touch you?” He whispered. 

Yes. Please. 

He didn’t trust his own voice to answer. 

James moved his hand up and brushed the back of his hand against Regulus’ cheek. 

You are beautiful. 

Regulus was undone. 

James had such big eyes. The shade of evergreens.

Regulus was drowning in them. 

James started playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. Every time his hand brushed the touch deprived skin there, a sharp, hot, sting of pleasure goes down Regulus’ spine. 

He wanted to kiss him. 

But he would go as slow as James wanted. He would take every delicious moment his golden boy was willing to give him. He closed his eyes to savor the feeling. 

You are the human embodiment of the sun. And I love you so much it hurts. 

Regulus had never been one to make poetic declarations. But everything was different when it came to this boy. He would make a million poetic declarations if it made his golden boy smile. 

“I love you more every day. Today more than yesterday but less than tomorrow.” James whispered. 

“When are you going to kiss me?” Regulus whispered back. 

“Whenever you want, little star.” 

“Maybe sometime in the next ten seconds before I go mad.” 

James moved into his space again. 

This time he was right in front of him. An inch away. Hovering his perfect lips over Regulus’ mouth. 

Something in the air shifted. Regulus’ felt everything around them stop. Time was frozen. 

Finally. James brought their lips together gently, combing his fingers through regulus’ damp curls. 

It’s started slow. 

Regulus can’t stop thinking His lips are so soft. 

He let his hand fall on James’ leg, mostly to give himself enough support to keep upright, but also just to touch him. 

James was cradling his face and caressing his skin like it was something delicate. Something to be cherished. 

They pulled apart for air. James was looking between silver eyes and freshly kissed lips. 

The image made him crave it again, immediately.

He’d just taken his first hit and he was already at addict.

Regulus kissed like he did everything else, delicately but with power behind it. 

The younger boy let his hands wander where they wanted. Running them up James’ forearms and wrapping his fingers around his biceps, which were very prominent, even in a sweater. 

Regulus wanted more. He asked permission by swiping his tongue across James’ bottom lip. 

He was met with an enthusiastic yes. James let him have it all. 

At the same moment that James opened his mouth to Regulus, he also wrapped his arms completely around him and hoisted the delicate boy into his lap. Gently. As if he were porcelain. 

Regulus squealed in surprise but when he was settled in on top of James, he let out a grain that was swallowed by the golden boy. 

James tasted like candy canes and tea. And he kissed like he’d been doing it for years. He was fluid and assertive and hotter than the sun. 

He settled his hands on Regulus’ waist and gripped at them, sending more shock waves of arousal through his body. 

Regulus Black is the luckiest boy on the planet. 

James felt like heaven under his hands, soft and strong and steady. How had they gone so long without doing this? How was he meant to stop now? He wants to stay here forever. 

Regulus was getting lightheaded, he must not be getting enough oxygen. Right this second, he doesn’t really care. 

But James reluctantly pulls back. Heaving in air but looking at Regulus’ mouth like he’s contemplating not caring either. 

“Wow.” He breathes out. “I’m obsessed with you.” 

Regulus laughs, he wasn’t expecting that. 

“I am.” James says, smiling at him like a loon. “It’s becoming a real problem.” 

“The feeling is mutual.” Regulus tells him before attacking him with his lips, once again. 

A few minutes later, they pull apart again. 

James’ hands are still holding him in place. 

“Tell me you’ll spend the day with me.” He says locking into shining silver eyes. “I miss you. And it’s Christmas. Basically our anniversary.” 

Regulus shakes his head at the boy, smiling at how much he loves him. 

“Yes, I will spend the day with you.”