October 29th-30th 2007
October 29th, 11:23 PM
Eventually, Remus was seen at the hospital, and (much to Sirius’ disagreement) did not have a concussion, and after getting stitches on the back of his scalp, he was free to go home. By home that meant James and Sirius’ home, because it would be a miracle for Sirius even to step away from Remus to get a glass of water. Yeah, this whole killer trying to, y’know, kill him might be starting to make them all paranoid
James had been understandably upset when Sirius returned home with a batter and bloodied Remus, but had reigned in his anger when Sirius gave him a look, they would continue it later surely, James was fiercely protective and it was more so he was worried than mad.
They had left James downstairs to fill in Monty and Effie, going to Sirius's room where they both collapsed on the bed, the hectic night weighing on the both of them. Sirius had his arms around Remus in seconds, as if he would disappear if he didn't hold him. Remus had no complaints, he would never admit it (and if he did he would blame it on his head injury) but he felt quite fragile, almost as if he even breathed wrong he would break into pieces, and with Sirius holding him so tight it helped him feel more put together.
It didn't last, there had been a knock on the door and an apologetic-looking James had popped his head in, smiling at the both of them before turning his attention to Remus, “You ok?”
“Fine, what's up?”
“Someone’s called for you.”
“My dad?” Remus asked, pulling away from Sirius’ chest, though Sirius’s hand lingered on his back.
“It didn't sound like Lyall, so no I don't think so.” James’ eyes lingered on the bruise that had bloomed on the side of Remus's head, not quite giving him a black eye but closing in around the end of his eye and up his temple. “Sorry, Moony.”.
“Can you just take a message?” Sirius asked quietly, his hand rubbing soothing circles on Remus’ back, but Remus waved him off, he’d rather just hear whatever they had to say on the phone than take a message that could be muddled from miscommunication.
As Remus pushes away from the bed and walks to the open door he misses the look that goes between Sirius and James. It is one of pure concern.
The Potters only have one landline, it sits on a table in the middle of the hallway, conveniently outside Sirius’ room which had once been a guest room. The phone is sitting there waiting for him and as he puts it to his ear, he just barely hears the crackle of someone breathing into the receiver.
“Hello?”
It's silent for a moment, and it's almost like Remus knows what is about to happen, a pit forming in the bottom of his stomach as a familiar voice responds, “Hello, Remus.”.
And Remus doesn't know what he should've expected, he doesn't know why, after all this shit, he thought it would be over now- he's starting to get the terrifying feeling that it may never end. “Who the fuck is this?”.
It's a question he knows he will never get the answer to, and they know it too, he can tell by the cockiness in their voice, “Saw you and the boyfriend got picked up, just another let down to the Lupin’s hm?”.
“Why are you doing this?” He knows it's a stupid question, but they’re laughing and it just makes him mad. “What did we ever do to you?”.
It only takes the slightest raise of his voice before both James and Sirius come out of the room, James says his name before Sirius tells him to go get his parents. Sirius is hesitant as he comes next to Remus, but Remus can’t find it in himself to care. SIrius’s hand goes to Remus’- the one he’s using to hold the phone- and he brings it down slightly, so he can hear as well. As the voice talks back, Remus watches as Sirius’ face falls flat and he goes still.
“I'm just getting started if I'm honest, maybe you should get in touch with your dad? Make sure he got to the airport.”
“You’re fucking psychotic”
“I prefer the term creative.” The voice stops for a moment, and the only sound the boys can hear is that of James and Sirius’ parent's feet as they rush down the hallway. “But you should know that, shouldn't you Remus?”
Euphemia and Monty reach the end of the hallway at that second, Remus’ eye flit to them for a moment and take in their concerned expression, both of their eyes trained on him. He’s sure he doesn't look fine, he doesn't feel fine, those words bouncing around in his head.
You should know that, shouldn't you Remus?
“That’s fine though, I’ll help you remember soon.”
And the line goes dead, but Remus knows they all heard those parting words.
Sirius’ grip on his hand goes dead, and then there’s nothing left stopping Remus from dropping the phone. He can distantly hear the clatter of plastic on the wooden floor, and the hesitant voices of Effie and Monty.
Not for the first time that night, Remus realizes he can't breathe.
Before he can even process the fact that he's being spoken to, he leaves. Fully pushes past Sirius and into the bedroom, the door slamming behind him.
He’s sitting on the bed, his head in his hands as he tries to get everything straight, but he can't. They know Remus, they know his dad, and his dad won’t fucking answer his calls. He knows, logically, that Lyall must be fine. He had talked to him just that morning, but why hadn't he answered the hundred different calls? What if something happened? He didn't think anything would happen last time, and then.. Then she was gone.
God, he couldn't go through that again.
He can't go through this now.
He knows he hasn't fully processed anything since the night Peter died. God, was it really only three days? He knows that soon enough all of the shit that has happened will catch up to him and crush him, and he can't take it. Not after the year he has had.
He knows some time must have passed, he can no longer hear The Potters whispering outside of Sirius’ room. The door opens, and he doesn't have to look to know who it is. He’s always had a knack for knowing when Sirius Black entered a room.
He feels the bed dip behind him, and soon enough Sirius’s arms wrap around his shoulders, and Remus melts into it. For now, he can be ok, he can wait for the other shoe to drop as long as he has Sirius.
And he will forever have Sirius, that he knows.
***
October 30th, 7:12 AM
Sirius was trying really hard to keep it all together.
Since Peter, he had felt detached from reality, he couldn't really process the fact that Peter was gone. That he would never see him again. And now all this shit happening to Moony? Yeah, he was on the verge of a breakdown.
But he's keeping it together. He has too.
Despite the fact that when Remus isn't in his eye line he feels like he can't breathe, and the mere mention of going somewhere alone makes him sick.
He's in the kitchen, with that familiar sick feeling in his stomach, he knows Remus is in the next room, and that logically nothing bad can happen. Logic does little to calm him. He rushes through fixing two plates of food, throwing a bit of everything that Effie had made onto each, before all but running back to the living room where he left James and Remus.
He’s there, of course, sitting on the couch exactly as he had been when Sirius left. Sirius can breathe again.
He hands Remus his plate as he sits next to him on the plush red couch the Potters have in their lounge, James is to his left in a matching loveseat. Remus just barely acknowledged the fact that he has food now, picking at it with his fork, Sirius has the urge to wrap him up and never let him go until he's safe, but instead, he looks over to James. Neither know what to do as they stare helplessly at one another.
“So, I was thinking,” Sirius starts, watching Remus carefully, “that we should all stay home today.”
“Why?” Remus asked, the genuine confusion in his voice somewhat startles Sirius, because really? Really, Darling? Why?
“Well just with everything happening,”
“Everyone else is going.”
“Yeah but-”
“It’s all going to be the same if we go or not, and id rather not be stuck in the house all day.”
“Remus-” Sirius never does get to finish what he was saying, which is becoming a horribly common problem, because a phone rings. He does miss the way everyone seems t freeze, or how Remus stops breathing. He doesn't miss the way his own heart stops. It’s his own phone that’s ringing, he fishes it out of his back pocket, hesitating before flipping it open and answering. “Hello?”
“What took so long to answer?” Marlene's voice cracks down the line, and the room feels a bit lighter.
“Well people get murdered for answering a phone these days, so pardon my hesitation.”
“Ha. Real funny. Are you with James?”
Sirius shared a look with the other two boys, shifting the phone to his left ear. “I got both James and Remus here.”
“Oh, that actually works better.” He could hear shuffling on her side of the phone, someone’s voice could be heard in the background, “Put me on speaker.”
He did as he was told, putting the phone on speaker and holding it outward on the palm of his hand, “Speak.”
“Don't be fucking rude.” Marlene sighed, “You guys might not like this but you're going to do it.”
“That's a bit commanding, McKinnon.” James laughed, his eyebrows creased from where he looked at Sirius nervously.
“It was meant to be.” SIrius could practically see her raising her eyebrow at them, almost asking them to oppose her. “So, Lily's party. We're going. After Pete's funeral.”
“I don't think that's what they mean by having a celebration of life,” Sirius mumbled, “Lily’s cancelling it anyways.”
“What- no wait. She needs to not, just- I have a reason.” Marlene was frantic in her explanation, “I'll explain today, Ok? Are you guys coming in today?”
Sirius looked across the couch to where Remus was, sitting quietly, staring back at him. SIrius wanted to say, no, wanted to argue that none of them ever needed to leave the house again after this week, but he couldn't. Remus was going, and Remus was the one who was hurt right now, and maybe that way of thinking was healthy but when had he ever been? Sirius would follow his boy to the end of the earth, but for today he would follow him to school.
“Yeah, I guess we are.”
And that was that.
***
October 30th, 8:12 AM
“You boys promise to call if you want to leave, alright?” Monty said in his sternest voice, which wasn't very stern at all, but he looked at the boys with so much concern that they of course agreed.
“Yeah, Dad. Promise.” James was the first to talk, leaning over the centre console in the front seat to kiss his dad on the cheek, before opening the passenger side door and stepping out of the car, “Love you.”.
“Love you, too.” Monty smiled, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning around in his seat to look at Remus and Sirius in the backseat, “I mean it you two, even if you just want to come home and take a nap or something. Call us.”
Remus gave him a sheepish smile, he knew Monty cared, but god he was so exhausted. At least when he was here he could pretend the exhaustion was for normal reasons, and that he wasn't on the verge of a breakdown every time he saw his boyfriend looking at him with those grey eyes drawing in concern.
He didn't listen to Sirius say his goodbyes, stepping out of the car and leaning on the opened door as Sirius crawled out behind him, Remus didn't really look at him.
The three boys stood on the sidewalk as they watched Monty's black car drive away, slowly disappearing in the wave of morning traffic when they no longer had the excuse of watching Monty's car, only then did they turn and began their once familiar walk to the picnic table.
They could see the girls already there, Lily was sitting on one of the benches- next to Mary who was leaning heavily on Emmeline. Marlene was sitting on the table itself, leaning over herself and writing in a notebook perched in her lap. While Remus didn't make it a habit to judge his friend's appearance, because he knew he probably looked like shit at the moment too, he had to say that Marlene kinda... Well to put it nicely, looked like she hadn't slept in a week.
Emmeline had been first to notice them, sending a quiet smile and a wave to the group of boys, Marlene was quick to look up, pushing herself off the table to stand.
“Great now everyone's here.” Marlene started, wiping dirt off of her jeans, “I need your guys’ help.”
Everyone's eyes were on her, there was an unspoken agreement to do whatever Marlene needed. They had always done things that way, agreeing to help a friend without a second thought.
“I think I know a way to find out who.. who killed Peter.”
There were a few sharp inhales as the words registered, the group looking at each other with varying degrees of concern and intrigue.
“How?” James was first to ask.
“Well, they obviously hate us. With Peter and now..” She gestured vaguely at Remus as a whole, and he just nodded. It was fair enough. “Where would be the best place for them to get us all together and hurt as many as possible?”
It took them all a minute and Remus could feel Marlene's frustration at no one getting it instantly, as if it had all came to her so easily and that she needed to share it.
“Oh.” Emmeline whispered, “Lily's party.”
“But I was going to cancel,” Lily mumbled.
“You can't, it's the only way I can think of to do this. And I have to do it, I can't keep going not knowing.”
And there was no way any of them could argue not to do it, not when Marlene sounded like that and looked at them with pure grief in her eyes. Not a single one of them could say no. Despite the festering feeling of guilt in Remus’s stomach at the idea of having a party the day after his best friend's funeral, he too nodded his head along with the others. Singing up to their deaths. A bit like rats in a maze, being led in the right direction.
“Ok.. Thank you, I really- I really think this is the only way.” “I feel like no one else is doing anything, and Mrs Pettigrew is a mess, and I can't sleep with all this shit so- I just need this over.”
“We understand, Marls,” Mary said quietly, standing a put a hand on Marlene's shoulder, before fully turning the other girl to wrap her arms around her. “Of course we do.”
“Uhm,” Marlene sniffed after pulling away from the hug, “Do any of you care to go tell Dorcas? I have to go to a meeting with Dumbledore, she should be in her usual spot.”
“We don't care to,” SIrius piped up, head turning to Remus who nodded back at him.
“Thank you, she mentioned something else too, I can't remember it exactly- but just ask her when you get there, she should know.” Marlene was telling them as she walked away from the picnic table, giving a small wave as she got to the doors and disappeared behind them.
“Ok, I am seriously concerned about her.” Mary spoke, Emmeline nudged her with her elbow, giving her a look, “What? Are you not?”
“I didn't say that, I just don't want to talk behind her back.”
“Sweetheart, it's not talking behind her back, it's being a concerned friend.” Mary turned to Lily, “You said last night she was barely sleeping, I think she's spreading herself too thin with this Peter thing.”
“I know, we’re all concerned but Marlene was fully there, I don't blame her for being.. stressed.” Emmeline smiled sadly back at Mary, hand resting on Mary’s arm, “I’ll see you after school.” She mumbled sparing a look around the courtyard before pressing a quick kiss to Mary’s cheek before following Marlene's footsteps into the school.
“I guess we all should be heading inside,” James looked to the two boys at his side, “You two will be alright?”
“Course we will,” Sirius smiled, grabbing Remus’ arm already pulling him away from the group towards the old gravel parking lot behind the school, “Its just me and Moony.”.
James didn't look too convinced.
It didn't take long to get to the parking lot, but the silence between the two of them made it feel like ages. Dorcas’ van was in its usual spot, tucked behind an oversized garbage bin, hiding it from prying eyes. The parking lot technically belonged to the church next door, but almost every student had parked there once.
The back door of the van was closed, curtains pulled over the window, to anyone else it might look like no one was in there.
Sirius was the one to knock, the noise reverberating through the quiet parking lot. There was shuffling from inside the van, and then the curtain was opened just enough for someone to look through, a brown eye peeking out at them before pulling away. Dorcas threw open the van doors, eyebrow raised already in suspicion as Sirius grinned at her, she threw a look at Remus as if to say ‘What the hell is he doing?’ and Remus could only shrug.
“Dorcas, my darling.” Sirius drawled sweetly, leaning on the van door, “Have I told you how gorgeous you are lately?”
Dorcas looked very unimpressed, as she fixed him with a flat look, “Hello boys, friendly visit or business?”
“Business, I’m afraid.”
“Well in that case..” She said, leaning out farther from the opening in the van, her expression changing to something akin to aggravation as she glared at Sirus, “You owe me, Black.”
“Is that necessary, love?”
“How much was it again? Upwards £100?”
“Sounds close enough, but when I said business I didn't mean that kind… unless you want to share?”
Dorcas rolled her eyes, “You think you're so clever, don’t you?”
“I’ve been told I am, once or twice.” Sirius smiled. “Now, you'll get your money, of course, you just need to help us a bit first.”
“I’ll actually get it either way, but I might help you from the goodness of my heart.” Dorcas climbed out of the van, shutting the door behind her, “Now what do you want?”.
“Marlene mentioned something about Peter being here before it all?” She nods, “Do you know when specifically?”
“About a week or two before, I don't have a specific date.” Dorcas leant against the closed van door, “He got into a bit of a spat with someone.”.
“Anything you can tell us about the guy?”
“It was a kid first off, and you know I don't sell to people who look like they are barely out of primary. And plus he was a total stranger, I’m not comfortable with that. So I told him I had no clue what he wanted from me and he got pissed, threats flowing and everything, but y’know he's a whole ass child so… it didn't have the effect he probably wanted.”
“Reminds me of Regulus,” Remus mumbled, Sirius looked at him with a small smile.
“Both seem to be little shits.” Sirius agreed.
“Funny you mention that actually because he was throwing a few names around and his came up.”
“How so?” Sirius asked.
“Telling me that he knew all these people and shit, entitled brat.” Dorcas breathed out a laugh bitterly, “Anyways, where was I in the story? Oh right- so he’s yelling at me, and Peter shows up and basically tells him to fuck off and this kid gets up in his face and says some clique shit like he's going to regret that and storms off like it was a movie scene. That's mostly the end of the drama.”
“Did you get a name?” Remus asked.
“No, ‘fraid not. Well.. Actually, I did.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I only remember because I thought it was weird. Peter turns to me and we're talking and after a bit he says, ‘You can't let someone like Evan walk all over you.’. I thought it was weird because I didn't think Peter knew who this kid was by the way they acted, but he let the name slip so offhandedly, I might just be overthinking it though because of.. what happened.”
“Yeah, I’ve been doing the same, just trying to think of ways it could've gone differently.” Sirius said softly, Remus didn’t miss the way his gaze flickered to him. A strange feeling of guilt settled in his stomach.
Dorcas’ business persona slipped away for a moment, her face turning sincere and sad as she looked down at her shoes on the gravel, kicking it around, “Marlenes beating herself up about it.” She admitted, “It's killing me seeing her like this.”
“I know what you mean,” Sirius said, Remus didnt want to wonder about the implication, “but, Marls is tough. I’m sure she’ll be ok.”
“I hope your right.”
*
October 30th, 8:28 AM
They had found most of their friends lingering in a hallway near their forms, it had been a spot they often stayed at in the early mornings, talking until the threat of being late caught up with them.
“I thought you guys would already be in form?” Sirius asked as the two of them walked within earshot of the group. James and Lily just shared a look, while Mary and Emmeline just shrugged.
“Well, we-” Lily elbowed James, “..I thought it would be best to wait for everyone. Yknow, so it's like safe.”
“James wants to implement a buddy system.” Mary simplified.
“Course he does.” Sirius sighed.
“It's a good idea!” James defended as Lily patted him on the back, mumbling ‘course it is.’, “If we have a buddy we all know where everyone is at all times.”
“Try to sound more like a mother hen, Potter.” Emmeline teased, laughing as she leaned into Mary’s shoulder.
It was nice to be so light for a moment, to stand in the hallway like they had used to and laugh as if they had no worries in the world. For a few moments, there was no death and worries. Just a group of kids. And then the bell rang and Remus flinched.
He doesn't even know why he did, it hardly sounded like a phone ringing, but it was close enough. The stupid ring was enough to send a pit of anxiety into his chest, and for his breath to stop. It was enough to make him freeze.
He could feel Sirius and James’ eyes on him, slightly grateful that they were the only two to notice. Like many times before, it was Sirius who moved first, discrete as he put a hand on Remus’ arm.
“Ok?” He whispered, looking terribly concerned.
Once again that nagging guilt visited, as it did every time Sirius looked at him like that. He knew it wasn't either of their faults, but Remus couldn't help but blame himself for making someone so lovely as Sirius feel so fucking awful.
“‘M fine.” He mumbled, taking two steps backwards as Sirius’ hand fell from his arm. He just spared a single look to his two friends before smiling apologetically and fully turning around to walk off as fast as he could without attention.
“I- Remus!” Lily had called, “The buddy system doesnt work if you dont stay with your buddy!”.
He ignored the continuing conversation his friends were having, their voices getting quieter the farther he got. Of course, he shouldn't have expected it to stay like that, the sound of following footsteps getting louder until they were right next to them. He didn't have to turn his head to see her, he could recognise Mary by the jangle of the several bracelets she had always worn.
They walked in silence mostly, he vaguely recalled that Mary’s form was also in the science hallway. He wasn't the closest with Mary, but close enough after being friends for several years. She was a sweet girl, heartbreakingly beautiful, and loyal. He had always admired her for that.
“I think Sirius may be jealous he’s lost the chance of being your buddy.” She joked.
“He sees me enough as it is,”
Mary hummed, “Y’know you can talk to us right?” She slowed her walk as the door to her form approached, “We care.”
“I know, but I'm fine.”
Mary just looked at him, a small smile on her face as if she saw right through him, “You can believe that if you'd like, but even ‘just fine’ people need to chat sometimes.”She patted his shoulder, and walked through the door, leaving him alone in the hallway.
*
October 30th, 11:51 AM
He truly did try his best to stay in class, but his best was not enough. Everything was just wrong. He was just wrong. So eventually he found himself hiding in the bathroom, locking himself in a stall in hopes the dull walls would fix whatever was happening inside his brain.
He had stood in the stall a long while, staring at the messages between he and his dad, but despite how much he willed it- there was no reply from Lyall.
It was while he was doing this that a group walked into the bathroom, in the middle of a conversation. He could hear them laughing together and the scuff of shoes against the floor as one seemed to shove their friend.
“Its just seems stupid is all im saying!” One of the boys was saying, “I mean its just a bit hard to believe.”
“You dont got to defend it to me- I mean have you seen him? He’s like seven feet tall, and you’re trying to tell me someone attacked him.”
“I bet its another joke, they have these big jokes and i’ll bet you this is another one. Pettigrews probably stashed in a basement or something.”
“I think I'd pay to see that. Making all this shit up.. I knew there was a reason they called him Loopy.”
“I saw someone write they think he did it, since he was the one who didnt go to the party at Pettigrews.”
“I thought that was Potter?”
“Nah, Potter was there, and he would be to soft to kill someone- Now Loopy.. Ha could you see it? Loopy Lupin The Masked Murderer, now thats a movie i would watch.”
“Hm.. make sense wouldnt it? Heard his mom died a few months ago, coincidence or was Loopy getting his footing?”
“That's evil!” One said, laughing.
“Yeah, yeah.” Remus could hear them patting the back of their friend, laughter shared between all four as they left the mirrors they were standing at, leaving the bathroom. The silence had never felt more suffocating.
“Dicks.” Remus shook his head, mumbling to himself as he unlocked the stall, leaving the confines behind to instead stand in front of a mirror. Collecting himself as he took in his appearance. These days, he was having a hard time recognising himself.
There was a soft sound from behind him, something he use to be able to chalk up to just old pipes settling, but now he couldn't help but stay quiet and listen, because what if. There was no other sign of life in the bathroom as he turned away from the sink, crouching down to his knee, as he looked at the bottom of the stalls, waiting for something.
There's nothing, of course, there's nothing. Maybe he's finally losing it. It's an old building, those make plenty of strange sounds, he tells himself as he pulls himself up from the ground. Just as he turns away, he hears it again. Maybe it was the wind, maybe just his fucked up mind, but something makes a sound that sounds way too fucking similar to his name.
And he has been around this shit way too much already, he doesn't plan to stick around and it seems like whoever is here is getting that sense too because the second Remus turns on his heel towards the door, a stall bursts open and the figure he sees in his nightmares is running straight at him.
A part of him was expecting it, he pulls his body away from the figure, tripping the both of them up, instinctively he grabs onto something to try and catch himself, but turns out a plastic mask isn't very stabilizing. They both fall to the ground, and the second he can Remus is crawling away, throwing the mask from his hands.
The figure is still on the ground, no longer holding the knife, but instead cradling their own face as they frantically look side to side, Remus just barely sees a flash of tan skin and crazed brown eyes before he pulls himself to his feet. He wastes no time, leaving the bathroom and running.
He’s sure he must look ridiculous, running through the hallways hyperventilating as he fights with his pockets to pull his phone from it. He truly doesn't know where he stops in the school, the hallways all look the fucking same. He does, however, know he calls Sirius, he can hear him arguing with a teacher on the phone as he whispers his name. He doesn't say anything else, just a whispering mantra of ‘Sirius.’, but it seems the other boy doesn't need more than that to come running to find him. And he does. Sirius is always there to find him.
*
October 30th, 2:26 PM
Obviously, they had called the police.
Sirius had somehow found Remus, and in a haze of memory, they made it to the main office. Remus doesn't quite remember how they had gotten to this point, sitting in McGonnagals office, the door locked at Remus’ insistence.
The rest of the classes had been told to stay where they were, leaving everyone trapped in their forms. Sirius had been texting most of their friends in between the long stretches of silence, Remus wasn't exactly good at keeping conversation at the moment.
“You have to be fucking joking..” Sirius was mumbling, rolling his eyes at his phone.
“What?”
“That girl? Rita? Wrote shit about us- Me, You, Pete and Marlene.” Sirius clicked his phone closed, putting it back in his pocket, “She just can't let it go.”.
“Is it bad?” Remus asked, “About us?”
Sirius deflated a bit, “No, darling, it’s not.. like that.. She didn't say anything bad about us, she just is.. putting words in our mouths. Making shit up about ‘evidence’ to make it seem like she knows more than she does.”
“Oh.”
Sirius is just looking at Remus, his head cocked to the side. He looks soft, it’s something Remus gets to see often. Not many others do. Sirius looks almost hesitant as he takes Remus’ hand in his own, tangling their fingers together and pressing a kiss to the back of Remus’ hand. He holds it in his lad, squeezing it softly. Just a reminder that he’s there.
They sit there together for a long while, holding hands until the intercom crackles to life overhead, the headmaster's voice announcing that the school shall be closed until the police deem it safe for it to continue. Remus can hear the few students in the office talk happily amongst themself, that is until it's announced there will also be a town-wide curfew, which dampens their mood.
Good, Remus thinks, let them be upset.
“Lovely, I'm sure a curfew will stop this shit,” Remus says, breathing out a bitter laugh, “It's not like they have a tendency to hide in people's fucking houses.”
Sirius squeezes his hand harder.
*
October 30th, 6:53 PM
In the quiet afternoon, in an empty school, there is a child lurking.
One filled with a sense of vengeance, for all the things they had never gotten. For every ‘you were almost there!’, every participation trophy, every second place.
This time they aren't second best, this time they win. They make the rules. This is their game.
In an office where they were promised greatness, they slice through the throat of a man who they once idolised. And they fucking enjoy it.
They laugh in the face of death for they work side by side. They let their hands get coated in blood just so they can remember it the feel of it, and then they find they crave that feeling. They crave to win the game.
Well... Two down, three to go.
Then they will finally fucking win.
*
October 30th, 7:15 PM
James Potter had loved Lily Evans for almost two years. He had idolised her for nearly ten, though. He had met her just when he turned 7, being put in the same class. There was just something about her. She was smart and brave- he remembers that was the first thing he noticed about her. She had walked away from her mother, eager to be inside the school, no tears or anything- while he had been sobbing at the idea of another year away from his parents all day.
She was so brave, and that had never changed. Through the years James watched in silent astonishment- which was the only silent thing about him. While he was running wild with his youth, playing pranks and chasing adrenaline highs, Lily Evans was working hard. Getting to the top of their class, standing up for other students, and running several different clubs. Yes, there was no way for him not to notice her.
He had first asked her out when they were 13, and in his defence- he truly hadn't thought the idea through. If he had, he wouldn't have asked her out in front of everyone in their form, saying the words loud enough to draw everyone's attention, which truly was accidental. He remembered the red hue her face had taken and she quietly told him no, embarrassed. He had never felt more stupid.
The second time was more thought through, at freshly 15 James would like to think he was very mature. Others might now agree with that sentiment, but he thinks it true. He had gone with the quiet approach of notes. They had been friends for over a year, putting that first over everything, but she is Lily Evans, and she is the most incredible person he had ever met. He just wanted to try once more. So, he left her notes.
At the end of that week, he slipped her a note at the end of the day, when they were alone by a tree. No other eyes to see them. He remembers her face flushing just as it had the first time, and the feeling of dread that he had once again messed everything up, but then Lily smiled, and said she was willing to give him a chance.
James Potter had loved Lily for nearly two years, he had thought of all the years they had ahead of him. He remembers all of their firsts.
But the one that haunts him the most is the first time he truly believed he would lose her.
“So she released the album last year right?” Lily had been telling him all about her new favourite singer, some American girl who wrote country songs (James had teased her when he found out the genera), “And I mean I’m obsessed. Tuney hates it, and keeps yelling at me whenever I play it.”
“Speaking of, where is Petunia?” James asked, he had noticed the absence of all the Evans that night, though he wasn't complaining.
Lily hummed, taking a sip out of her glass, “Out, with Vernon.” She said leaning to place the glass on the coffee table, “I think to a movie? She kept saying Vernon wanted to watch something scary but she didn’t want to with everything that was going on lately.”
“Yeah, I get that.” James smiled sadly at her, and Lily seemed to realise at that moment what she had said.
“Oh, James.” She hit her forehead with the palm of her head, sliding across the couch to hold him in her arms, “I wasn't even thinking, I’m sorry.”.
“No, I- you didn't mean anything by it, it’s ok.” James shook his head a bit, hesitating, “... It's just none of this makes sense.”
“No tragedy ever does,” Lily said, rubbing his arm.
“No, I mean it really doesn't make sense, Lils.” James pushed away from her a bit, shifting to the side to look into her eyes, “I don't understand what they could've done to his body- we were right there!”.
Lily had a contemplative look in her eyes, and James could only hope she was understanding what he meant. All the unanswered questions surrounding Peter kept him up at night, the location of his body, why he was killed, how he was moved so quickly…
“James-”
Lily was cut off by a soft clattering as if something had fallen. Both of them turned word the source of the noise, coming from the direction of the kitchen.
“I thought you said no one is here?” James asked, slowly rising from the couch.
“No one is,” Lily answered, following right behind him. “James?”
“Hm?”
“Do you see that?” Lily's voice had dropped to a whisper as if she was trying to hide the fact that she was talking. Lily took two steps to her right, ending up just beside James and closest to the staircase, “James?”
“Lily?”
“Run.”
*
October 30th, 6:45 PM
“Your sure Effie and Monty are ok with it?”
“Yeah, Moony. We're not just gonna leave the poor thing on her own.” Sirius turned the ignition of his car off, “Besides, Mum loves cats.”.
It hadn't been a hard decision to decide to stay at the Potters, in fact, it hadn't been a decision at all. Euphemia and Monty had flat-out told Remus that he was staying, and Remus can't find it in himself to say no to the Potters.
So, he and Sirius had made the drive back to the Lupins to pick up Mars, and the few pieces of clothes that Remus hadn't already left at the Potters.
“I’ll bet you that Mars will be attached to Effie's hip by the end of the week.” Remus joked, opening the car door, stepping out.
“We all know it's going to happen, no one is immune to her power.” Sirius laughed, “If you don't come out in five, I'm coming in.”
“Well, someone’s not paranoid.” Remus huffed out a laugh, closing the car door and making the short walk up his stairs to the porch.
The house didn't look any different than it had the day earlier, but something felt wrong. Maybe it was the blood stain on the hardwood. Remus knew he should walk into the house, instead of standing in the open doorway, but he felt wrong. He never thought his own house could fill him with such a sense of dread.
He held his breath when he did step inside, the door closing with a click. His eyes instantly flicked to the closet, focusing on it while his ears strained to hear any sound. Nothing happened, no noise, no jumpscare, nothing. Just the quiet of an empty house.
Remus was quick to gather everything needed, cat food, a toy or two, a litter box, and a cat carrier. The only thing he was missing was the damn cat itself. Mars had always been a bit aloof but had favoured Remus, coming straight to him when he got home from school, and sleeping on his bed while he did homework. He had expected her to come to him when he started getting her food, but alas… No fucking cat.
“Mars,” Remus called softly, shaking a bag of cat treats, “I know you love food, just come on.”.
Of course, since nothing can be easy anymore, Mars did not ‘just come on’. Instead, Remus was forced to search his house looking for the cat. He couldn't fathom how such a large animal could hide so well.
“Moony, what the hell are you doing?”
The sudden voice had startled him, making him jump and hit his head from where it was stuffed under a couch. He crawled out from under it, rubbing the back of his head to find his boyfriend looking at him with a poorly hidden smile.
“Having tea with the queen, what the fuck does it look like I'm doing?” Remus asked, standing up.
Sirius simply shrugged, “Really though, what the hell?”
“I can't find Mars.”
“Really?” Sirius looked worried, “That's weird.”
“I know.” Remus shook his head, going back to look behind a chair opposite the couch, “Can you just help me look? Maybe upstairs?”
“Yeah of course,” Sirius said, turning on his heel to the stairs, “She couldn't have gotten outside could she?”
“I don't think so,” Remus called, “Diana hasn't been by in a few days.”
“Do you usually have the bedroom doors closed?” Sirius's voice was farther away now, and Remus could hear his footsteps above him.
“Uhm... No not usually?’ Remus answered, “We only close them when someone’s in there.”
Remus could hear the opening of doors and footsteps, and then a soft gasp. “Found her!” Sirius called, and Remus let out a breath of relief, walking towards the stairs. Sirius came down carrying the cat in his hands, she looked perfectly content, if not a bit irritated at being held. “She was in your room.”
“Course she was.” Remus smiled, petting the top of her head, “Do you care to put her in the carrier and take it out to the car?”
“Not at all,” SIrius smiled, cooing at the cat as he placed her in the carrier, “You know, I don't really like cats, but I like this one.”.
“Really?” Remus watched as Sirius gazed at Mars through the bars in the carrier, “Couldn't have guessed.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, picking up the handle of the carrier, and kissing Remus’ cheek, “Don't take long.”.
“Won't.”
Remus left the living room, walking back into the kitchen where he had left everything he needed. He had already put everything into a bag, leaving the bulkier items out so he could just grab them.
As he was situating everything in his arms he heard it, the distinct click of a door opening upstairs, he waited just a moment to see if it was just his imagination playing tricks on him, but nope- there was the click of it closing.
He stood there for a moment, before tightening his grip on the items in his hands and booking it to the front door. He had already gotten used to the whole ‘murderer-looking-for-him’ thing and didn't plan to stick around for any strange sounds when he was alone. Yeah, no. Fuck that.
He was in Sirius’ car in less than ten seconds, Sirius himself hadn’t even gotten into the car yet, still situating Mars’ cage in the backseat.
“In the car,” Remus told him, opening his own door and climbing in.
“Do you not want to put that in the backseat-”
“In the car.” Remus said, looking at the supplies in his hands, before throwing it carelessly behind him. He could hear Sirius mumbling something as he climbed into the driver's seat. “Drive.”
“Moony-”
“Drive, Sirius.”
Sirius seemed to sense the urgency, locking the car's door before turning the key in the ignition. As the car came to life, the radio switched on, and Remus could've laughed at the irony of the song playing.
‘I always feel like somebody’s watchin’ me, and I got no privacy. I always feel like somebody’s watchin’ me. Whos playing tricks on me?’
“Well, that just feels cruel.” He mumbled.
“What?” Sirius asked.
“Nothing- Drive. I'll explain at home.”
*
October 30th, 7:20 PM
When Lily had told him to run, he ran.
Lily was right behind him, she knew what she saw- and she was also sure they hadnt yet seen her. She had a tiny moment to get ahead of whoever this was, and she wasn't about to waste it.
James had hesitated as he got to the top of the stairs, waiting for her, and as she got to the top she pushed past him- grabbing his arm and pulling him with her down the hallway until they were both in her room.
Lily closed the door as quickly and quietly as she could, twisting the lock as she stepped away. James watched as her eyes frantically scanned the room before landing on her desk chair. She grabbed the chair, stuffing it under the handle of the door.
“Ok.. Ok..” Lily was panting, she was looking around her room as if it would give her an answer, “Fuck.” She mumbled, stumbling to her window, throwing it open. She stuck her head out the window, taking in her surroundings. They were on the second floor, and it was a long drop to the concrete sidewalk below, she didn't know if they could risk jumping down.
“Lily?” James asked hesitantly.
“You don't happen to be scared of heights, do you?”
“I don't think I’m going to like where this is going.”
Lily pushed away from the window, turning on her heels to face James who suddenly looked very pale, “I think we might have to go through the window.”.
“I was hoping you weren't going to say that.”
“No, it’ll be fine, I promise.” Lily tried to smile at him, but it felt strained, “I-I.. I can use my sheets to help, we can climb down them- uhm.. We can..” Lily was striping her bed bare, pulling at the sheets and pillows, “God, this was not how this was meant to go.”.
“Its ok, Lils,” James tried, “It's fine, we can climb or-”
There was the sound of a door opening.
The front door.
James and Lily slowly looked at each, each realising the terrible truth at the same time.
“Oh shit,” Lily’s heart was in her throat, “Tuney.”
*
October 30th, 7:24 PM
James watched as the colour drained from Lily's face as the realisation that her sister had come home when there was a murderer in their house. James didn't even get a chance to say any comforting words before Lily was at her door, wrestling with the chair under the handle.
“Lily, what are you doing?” He asked, grabbing her hands away from the chair, “You can't go down there.”
“My sister is not meant to be here, James!” Lily looked close to tears, “She can’t get hurt.”
“I know, it's fine. She’ll be fine, ok?” James squeezed her hand before letting go, “I’ll go check.”
“I really don't think you should.” Lily was looking at him with pleading eyes, both of their hands lingering on the doorknob.
“You were just about to! I know you can handle yourself, but.. I’m like.. Taller.”
“James.”
“I am! It'd be easier for me to fight someone off.. Hypothetically.”
Lily gave him an unimpressed look, “I really think you should let me go.”.
“Lily-”
“James. You're not hearing me.” Lily’s voice was stern, “You should let me go. She’s my sister- you'd go for Sirius!”
“Fine.. We go together.” James amended, “But Im going in front of you.”
“Fine, whatever, let's go.” Lily reached to the doorknob before pulling back her hand as if she had just been burned, “Wait!” Lily went to her closet, pushing it open and disappearing inside for a few moments, emerging with a baseball bat, she held it out to him, “Here. Since your ‘tall’.”.
James cringed at his earlier comment, gingerly taking the bat from Lily. They shared one last look as Lily pulled her door open, James stepping through and her following behind them. They walked carefully, trying to avoid the creaking of the wooden floors. They stalked down the stairs holding their breath, the lights had been turned off since they had been down there, but James could still hear the sound of the tv.
Just as James took the final step off of the stairs there was someone there, walking just around the corner, he raise the bat ready to swing as his eyes were filled with a bright light and someone screamed.
Vernon had barely managed to step out of the way of the bat, looking at James and Lily as if they were crazy. Petunia came running out of the kitchen, taking in the scene with a horrid expression.
“What the hell?” She shrieked, “Lily control your psycho boyfriend.”
“Are you alright?” Lily asked breathlessly, stepping away from the stairs towards Petunia.
“Yeah, obviously, why wouldn't I be?” She asked, irritably.
There are many reasons, James thought to himself with a grimace. He exchanged a glance with Lily and knew she was thinking it too.
*
October 30th, 7:20 PM
“Did Regulus not answer?”
They hadn't been at the Potter's house for long when Sirius decided to call his brother. After the mention of his name and the possible run-in at Remus’ house, Sirius just wanted to check on his brother- and while Regulus not answering the phone wasn't uncommon it still caused Sirius stress. These days everyone was a bit paranoid.
“No, of course, he didn't.” Sirius groaned, “You’d think he’d be better at answering phones when there's a literal killer on the loose but nope.”.
Remus gave him a half smile, opening his arms in offering. Sirius slid into the space, standing between Remus’ thighs from where he sat on the couch, Remus’ arms going to Sirius’ hips, tracing comfortingly with his thumbs. Sirius just looked down at him, a small grin on his face.
“Hi,” Remus whispered.
“Hi.” Sirius smiled, “Come here often?”.
Remus laughed shaking his head, “You’re a dork.”. Sirius was just looking at him, with the same look he had been giving him for the last week. Something that wasn't quite concern but wasn't quite love. Remus didn't know what to make of it. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
A look passed on Sirius’ face as if he was considering lying, but eventually, he just huffed a breath, his own hands going over Remus’, “I just love you.” He said, “You know that right?”
“Of course.” Remus said, “I love you too.”.
“Good.”
Their moment didn't last much longer, a song coming out of Sirius’ phone causing him to pull away and look at his phone, instantly knowing who was calling.
Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long.
“Fucking James.” Sirius groaned, flipping open his phone and bringing it to his ear.
“You should've never of let him choose his own ringtone,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.
“Hello?” Sirius said, smiling at Remus while hushing him, “Well don't tell me not to freak out, now I'm freaking out.”
Remus watched as the smile melted off Sirius’ face, turning stony as he listened to James. Remus was getting increasingly concerned as the silence filled the room.
After a few tense moments, Sirius let out a harsh breath, “Are you both ok?” He asked, nodding at James’ answer, “Do you need me to come get you?”. Sirius’ eyes flicked to Remus as he listened to James’ response, “No, we're at home. I can come.”.
“What's going on?” Remus whispered to him, Sirius just widened his eyes as if to convey the severity of the situation.
“I'm on my way.” Sirius said, pausing for a moment, “I love you. Bye.”
“What happened?” Remus asked, watching as Sirius pocketed his phone.
Sirius was silent for a moment, grabbing his keys from where he had thrown them on the coffee table, before turning back to Remus, “Someone was in Lily’s house.”
“Someone as in..” Remus asked hesitantly, but he already knew the answer from the look on Sirius’ face.
“Come on, the tires on James’ car were slashed.” Sirius said, going to the door, throwing at look at Remus when he didn't follow, “Remus?”
“I really don't want to leave Mars alone.”
“Remus.”
“Lily is ten minutes away, and the house has an alarm. I’ll be fine.” Remus reasoned, “Go get James and Lily.
“You're going to be the death of me. You are going to make all my hair fall out from stress, Remus Lupin.” He chastised, but Remus knew he would let him stay, “Nothing good ever happens when I leave you alone.”
“I know.”
“Your a masochist or something. Willingly staying alone.” Sirius looked hesitant as he opened the front door, “I don’t like this.”
“It's fine, I promise.”
“Lock the fucking doors. Don't leave your phone, and for the love of god call someone if something is sketchy.”
“Promise.” Remus smiled.
Sirius didn't look convinced, he stood at the door opening for a few more long moments, “I love you.”
“I love you too, now go.” Remus said, going to close the door, “James is probably worried sick.”
Sirius waved as Remus closed the door, and Remus watched him through the window as he walked down the drive and got into the car. He didn't look away until Sirius’ car was far from view.
He did as he promised, locking the doors, and checking the patio doors (just in case). He even made sure the alarms were set. He would admit that he didn't know why exactly he clung to the idea of being left alone, maybe it was for the sense of normality or maybe it was so no one would look at him as if he was one fuck up from a mental breakdown. Who knew, really?
He sat down at the kitchen island, taking his phone from his pocket and scrolling to a contact that was oh-so-familiar. He dialled their number, holding the phone to his ear as he listened to the long sequence of rings. At the click he felt of spark of hope vanish, instead of his father's voice, there was the automated voicemail message. The same robotic voice he had heard every time he had called.
‘Im sorry, but the number that you have called can not answer right now. Please leave your message at the tone.’
He had ended the call, he had already left message after message, all varying of him begging his father to pick up. He never did. It was so unlike him. The thought of what might be causing him to not answer made his skin crawl.
He sat there in the kitchen with his phone in his hand for a while, questioning if he should dial again. He did eventually, he just couldn’t not do it. He needed to call, he needed an answer. He listened to the long, even rings he had become so familiar too, and waited for the click. When it happened he almost hung up, but something was different. The automated message did not start, and for a moment Remus wondered if he had broken it but then there was a shift, a hard crackling from the line as if someone had breathed directly into it.
“Dad?” he said it without thinking, relief flooding into him even as the line stayed silent, “Dad?”.
“Remus.” The voice cooed down the line, and the smile melted off his face, a paralyzing sense of grief filling him, as it did every time he heard that voice.
Once upon a time he had loved Hope Lupin’s voice.
“Remus” The voice called down the line, she sounded like she was smiling.
“What the fuck.” He breathed out, suddenly thankful he was sat down, feeling a bit dizzy.
“Hi baby, look at you.” Hope's melodic voice called down the line, “My sweet boy.”.
“This isn't fucking funny, how-” But then it hits him, why those words sound so familiar. He had watched the tape hundreds of times, it had brought him comfort when he lost her. It was an old video that his dad had taken of them, Remus had only been about six months old, and Hope was barely nineteen herself in it. She had been leant over Remus from where he lay on the ground looking up at her, reaching to grab her hair. Hope had only laughed, cooing at the baby. When he had left his house he had taken the tape with him, he didn't know exactly why, he justified it by saying he didn't want it stolen if someone broke in but he knew it was far-fetched.
He was up from the chair in a moment, going up to Sirius’ bedroom where he had left his bag. He threw his phone to the bed as he searched through his bag, finding the vcr case and popping it open only to find it empty.
He didn't know what to do then, hundreds of different feelings at losing the precious tape, at someone having his dad's phone, of having that fucking tape. He hung up the phone, just to make Hope’s voice go away, he couldn't think with a ghost whispering to him.
He pushes his bag away from him, pocketing his phone once again and stands up. He can't stand to be in this house and yet can't leave. He goes back downstairs, back to the kitchen and the island. He doesn't know what your meant to do in this situation. What is this even classified as? Stalking? Torture? It wasn't quite attempted murder yet.
He was wondering that when the phone rang again. It always rings again. Those horrid even beats that he will never be able to hear again without being terrified. He took his phone out harshly, at first he looked past the caller ID, but something told him to look back. He wishes he didn't.
Because now instead of Lyall, Peter was calling him.
He said nothing when he answered the phone, letting the silence settle between them. He sort of felt as if they were past ‘hellos’, as if he and this murderer were friends. I mean after the third attempted murder, you have to have some sort of bond with one another, right?
“Well, you don't look very happy.” That deep, almost robotic voice crooned down the phone.
“Let me guess, hiding in another closet?” Remus asked.
“I would hate to be so predictable, you don’t sound very scared.”
“Maybe because you're shit at murdering people.”
“Hm, I wonder if that's what Peter thought.” The voice said thoughtfully, his voice soft “He didn't even scream, hit him right in the lung, did you know that?”
“Your sick.” Remus spat.
“You're the only one who’ll know that, the lung thing, they're not going to find where he is.”
“Let me guess, I won't tell people because I’ll be dead?”
“That's what I was going for.”
Remus could've scoffed, for someone so cocky they really were shit at following through with their word. “Well? Do it then. Jump out, flail your fucking knife around. Fuck you.” Remus hung up, letting his phone drop from his hand and onto the counter, his hands going through his hair. He hears the footsteps and for just a moment, he considers just sitting there. Letting it happen. The thought lingers as he turns his head to the kitchen entrance, that white mask looking back at him. They look a bit different he realises, shorter than what he remembers, the black robe more ill-fitting. “What? No dramatic entrance?” he asks, and despite everything he feels the fear crawling through him, clutching at his lungs and making him fight harder for a breath.
They just cock their head to the side, he’s sure if there was no mask they would be raising their eyebrow at him. Remus keeps his eyes trained on them, neither making a move. He tried to remember what is near him. He is in the kitchen after all, where statistically the most weapons are. He knows there's a knife block just beside the sink, the only other question is who would get there first, Remus or the asshole in a cloak.
His eyes flicker to it for just a second, and that jumpstarts everything. ‘Asshole-In-The-Cloak’ shifts just the tiniest bit as Remus looks away and then he's running, right at Remus, and Remus is running to grab a knife.
He gets hold of one of the handles, but doesn't get the chance to pull it out, their hand grabs Remus’ arm and pushes forward sending them both and the knife block to the ground. Remus hits first, sending an elbow back to hit the figure who has landed on his back, it hits them straight in the jaw, he hears their choked inhale of breath as he crawls forward to grab one of the knives.
He just barely wraps his fingers around a blade when a sharp pain radiates from his side, he’s more shocked than anything else when he looks down and sees his green shirt cut, a gash on his stomach oozing blood. It isn't deep, he can tell that much, but it hurts like a bitch, and the shock of it all gives them the chance to straddle Remus, knife coming closer and closer.
His hand digs into the blade of the kitchen knife in his own hand, he can feel it cutting into his skin as he throws his arm with as much force as he can at their head, hitting them with the blunt knife handle.
It's not enough to knock them off of Remus, but it's enough for him to buck his hips to the side, and that throws him off, Remus wants to laugh when he sees their head jerk after hitting it hard on the cabinet.
“That's not how you’re meant to use a knife, did you know?” The voice is muffled and familiar but it isn't the same as the one on the phone call at all, it is so familiar it shocks him for a moment but he doesn't have enough time to place it as he drags himself off the floor.
“Worked, didn't it?” He shakily says, his hand clutching his side, “Fuck.”
He doesn't know what to do now, he technically has the upper hand. Both of them are bloodied and bruised, but only one is on the ground. Is this the part in the movies where they rip the mask off? Or when a second killer comes out? What is he meant to do? He just stands there. Watching them, as they watch him.
For some reason he feels a sick sense of sympathy, he knows he shouldn't but here they are. A part of him wants to offer him a hand. The other half wants to push a knife into his chest. Killer and Killer. Human and Human.
“You really are shit at being a murderer.” He says instead.
“It's my first time, so do forgive me.” They huff, the hand shuffling from where they are holding themself up, “Now where were we?” and then the games are on again. Because that asshole throws a knife at him.
He has shit aim.
But Remus is losing blood (slowly but surely) and he has shit reaction time, so by the time his attention is not on the knife that is now lodged in the wall behind him, the fucker is up and has a new knife.
“Do you just keep those hidden in your sleeve?” He finds himself asking, not even realising.
“It's convenient, don't you think?” They huff lunging at Remus.
Of course, this time it’s Them who have the upper hand, having a fucking knife. And Remus is the one who has to doge as they swing it around erratically, aiming to hit anything, not caring for precision.
They slash his arms up pretty good as they dance around the kitchen, he even gets a slash across Remus’ cheek after he almost fell. It’s a repetitive dance they do, jumping under arms, shoving at each other, and curses filling the air. Remus doesn't even have the time to be scared, the adrenaline filling him with an intense focus.
It isn't until Remus has cornered himself by the fridge does the dance end, and he finds himself with a knife to his throat, he goes to knee their stomach, only for them to drive a knife into his shoulder, causing all thoughts of retaliation to flee as a scream rips from his throat, his first instinct is to rip it out, but he doesn't get the chance. ‘They’ rip it out for him, pushing the now bloody knife up to his throat again.
And (not for the first time) he feels his breathing slow. Every other time this has happened fear had gripped him, causing him to spiral so badly he would usually breathe so quickly it would send him into a panic, but this time is different. Of course he's scared, the fear is back now- but theres also a strange sense of peace. Well, maybe not peace. He doesn't quite know what is it, but peace sounds wrong. Peace is beautiful, and how could this situation ever be beautiful?
His eyes stare at that white mask, at the black mesh eyes so close that now he can see the long eyelashes of the person attacking him. The almost innocent wideness of their eyes looks wrong, and with a horrible sense of realisation he realises this is someone young. His age. Someone he must know.
He knew he had to of known them in some sort of way, they had known far too many details about his life, but he had assumed it was someone... older. Half of them were barely 16, still fucking kids. He looks into their eyes, he can't see the colour too distorted by the black mesh, but he sees a child.
Killer and Killer. Human and Human. Child and Child.
That sympathy sinks in again, and along with that peace he finds he is tired. He finds that he doesn't like this game. He finds that he doesn't actually want to harm someone else, he doesn't want to turn into this. He finds he doesn't think letting go would be so bad.
Killer and Victim. Human and ‘Human’. Child and Child.
“Do it.” He whispers, he wonders if they actually will. He doesn't think he himself would, doesn't think he ever could. “Do it.” though his words say otherwise, he doesn't think they will. He finds he doesn't know if he hopes they would or not.
The knife goes slack on his throat for a moment, and then he feels their annoyed sigh on his face. They lean close to him as they say their next words, “It's not as much fun if you want to.”. And when the knife is gone from his throat and he is left bleeding and weak, he doesn't see a person anymore. He knows now that those eyes are anything but innocent. Child or not, Killer or Victim, to them Human and Human means fucking nothing.
They leave Remus there, leaning against the fridge in the Potter’s kitchen, staining it with blood.
When he checked his phone, he found it only had been fifteen minutes.
Sirius will be home soon.
He wonders many things as he slowly walks away from the kitchen, he wonders what Sirius would've done if they had done what Remus asked of them. Would Sirius of found him? Would he be missing like Peter? He wonders if he should clean the kitchen, he doesn't want it to stain, but he doesn't know how to clean blood. He wonders all of this as he grabs the pack of cigarettes from the coffee table and goes to sit on the steps of the house. As he lights it and breathes in the calming smoke, he keeps his eyes trained ahead, just looking for Sirius.
Everything will be fine when he gets back.
*
October 30th, 11:21 PM
He doesn't remember much of Sirius actually coming home.
He remembers smoking, and the numbness fading away when Sirius’ car pulled in. He remembers the scream from Sirius when they must have thought he was dead from where he was slumped on the side of the steps. He remembers the look on Sirius’ face when he realised he wasn’t dead. He remembers the pain when Sirius held him, but he held him too.
He doesn't remember the ambulance getting there, but he does remember Sirius arguing to go with him, he eventually won that argument. He remembers hearing Mrs Potter crying when she came into the ER. He remembers being annoyed at all the fussing from nurses and doctors.
Currently, he was in his own room, the Police had come and gone, his friends had stepped in and out. He had pretended he was sleeping to get people to leave him alone. The only time Sirius had left was when the police had made him.
Remus felt a bit nicer now, despite the evening but he was sure that was the painkillers they had given him. Sirius was asleep in a chair next to his bed, and he was just looking at him. He felt terribly guilty. ‘Do it’ he had told them ‘Do it.’. He doesn't know if he’ll ever forgive himself for that.
He watches Sirius wake up slowly, blinking away the sleep. His eyes are instantly on Remus, taking him in as if it is the last time.
“Hi,” Remus whispers, his voice is croaky from his dry throat.
“Hi, Sweetheart.”
“Does this mean we aren't going to Lily's party?”
Sirius tried hard to fight the smile on his face, trying to look sternly at Sirius, “Your not funny.” He chastised, “I’ll excuse it because you're high.”
“Am not.” He knows he is, “I was being serious, y’know.”
“Yes, Remus. This means we aren’t going to Lily’s party.” SIrius shook his head, “Fuck, is that really what your thinking about?”
“I don't want to disappoint Marls.”
Sirius gave him a hard look, “I couldn't give a fuck about that right now Remus, you just got stabbed.”
“Really? Didn't know that.”
“Don't be sarcastic, I can't tell if you're being real or not.” Sirius rolled his eyes, “With the amount of times you've hit your head and the drugs you’re on.”
“I was being sarcastic. I don't think I’ll forget being stabbed anytime soon.”
Sirius suddenly looked a bit pale, and as if he was fighting back tears, it sent a surge of panic through Remus. “It's ok, I promise.” He tried, opening his arms in offering to SIrius, reminiscent of just a few hours earlier.
Sirius was much more careful about falling into Rremus’ arms now, mindful of the bandages on his left shoulder. “Fuck, fuck fuck.” Sirius was saying.
“It's ok.”
“No its not.” Sirius sniffed, “I can't breathe when I can't see you, I’m terrified.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Hush.” He cleared his throat, “It's not your fault, just.. Fuck.” He pulled away, a sober expression on his face, “Until this is over I need us to be just- with each other. That's all I want. Every time you’re alone something bad happens, and I can't fucking breathe anymore.”
“Ok, ok.” He pulled Sirius into him again, running a hand soothingly through his hair, “Please don't cry. I’m sorry.”
Sirius didn't get to answer the door clicked open, and both their attentions were drawn to a sheepish Lily and James walking in.
“We can leave if it's not a good time?” Lily offered quietly.
“You're fine.” Sirius said, nodding for them to come in.
James didn't look much better than Sirius, his eyes were red and puffy, and he had obviously been crying. “Mum is going to set the couch up, and sleep here tonight. They said you can leave tomorrow.” He said, trying to smile at Remus but it didn't reach his eyes. “Dad is renting a hotel room for the rest of us, uhm..”
“I’m really sorry about your kitchen.”
“That's not important Moony, Mum and Dad don't care, promise.” James cleared his throat, “Moony, this might be a bad time, but..”
“What?”
“Did anything about Ghostface seem.. I don't know, different?”
“What the fucks a Ghostface?” Remus asked.
James seemed to realise his mistake, rushing to explain, “Oh it's what I’ve been calling the stabby- shit that's not the right word. Uhm.. It's what I’ve been calling him- them- the white mask guy. Because it looks like a ghost. Ghostface.”
“Ok.” Remus shook his head, “Yeah.. he seemed different. Like it was a new person.”
“What do you mean?” Sirius asked, concern evident in his voice.
“He was close to my face, his eyes were different. At school, when I saw them last I....I ripped the mask off. I didn't see their face but they had brown eyes, and this guy didn't. He was shorter too.”
“You saw them?” Sirius asked, voice raising, “Why didn't you tell us?”
“Don't get mad at him.” Lily chastised.
“Im not fucking mad!” Sirius defended, his voice lower now, “It's just.. You saw them? They were different.”
“Yes.”
James and Lily shared a look, it confused Remus even more, “Why? Why are you guys asking.”
“There's no way that Ghostface could get to your house from Lily’s in less than a minute,” James said slowly, and Remus watched the realisation dawn on everyone. Sirius took a few steps back and closed his eyes, letting his head lean back.
“Tell me you're not saying what I think you are.” Sirius all but begged.
“There fucking two of them.” Remus whispered.
“Yes.” Lily confirmed gravely, “There’s two.”.