The Meaning Of Neutrality
Most people, Blaise found, didn't understand the true meaning of neutrality.
Blaise knows this, just like he knows something is wrong with Draco. it was almost inevitable, he supposed, with the summer Draco had, but it didn't stop Blaise from being surprised at just how different someone could become in only a few weeks.
Draco was much more silent now, where before he'd go on and on about the most inane things. Absurd comments only he could think of. Now, he talked and laughed, but it was missing something, there was an emptiness that hadn't been there before.
He was afraid. Blaise knew this, knew that he spent that summer under threat of death and worse. But the first time Pansy jokingly pointed her wand at him, and Draco for a moment, looked so scared Blaise had wanted to shove him into a closet and keep him there until the war was over. The worst part was that Draco himself didn't seem to know, it was like the terror was so ingrained he couldn't see it anymore.
Blaise knew that Draco was a Death Eater now. He knew what that meant, that Draco's near religious avoidance of the word mudblood was more than a sudden change of heart. He also didn't give a fuck.
Honestly, if he was entirely truthful with himself, he wouldn't care if Draco went around kicking crups.
Besides, murder wasn't exactly off the table on the Zabini family, mother would probably be delighted Draco had it in him. Might even offer him a job at the ‘family business.’ Nevermind Draco was in line to be one of, if not the richest wizard in Europe.
So he'd be the first to admit, he wasn't that worried when Draco couldn't be found anywhere Saturday. Draco had a habit of disappearing, one that drove all of his friends spare, and one he hadn't truly indulged in for years. When he was a kid, he'd go off into the forests around The Manor, driving Narcissa out of her mind with worry. Lucius had been as calm and collected as ever, especially when Blaise was around, telling them both that it was perfectly all right, that Malfoy children were made of sterner stuff, and Draco would be back when he was ready.
It never stopped scaring Blaise. When he was younger, he'd had the irrational fear that Draco would turn into a tree, like the old Greek myth's his mother told him, but even Draco wasn't that dramatic.
The slytherins, however, are, and start to crumble on day two, when Monday came with no Draco. Blaise had woken up with a snapdragon on his pillow, and he knew, in the deepest part of his chest, that Draco had left. He went out to the common room, and saw everyone gathered around the fire, despite the fact it was spring, and classes began in two hours. He locked eyes with Pansy, and shook his head.
"Everyone not in seventh year out." She said, her tone brokering no argument. The children all filled out, knowing they would be debriefed later. No one left through the front door, all choosing instead to go back to their dorms.
No one would be leaving slytherin until they knew what happened.
Pansy seemed to deflate the second they were alone, only herself, Blasie, Theo, Vince, Greg, and Daphne stayed. Vince and Greg had an odd space between them, as if they were waiting for Draco to come back and sit with them at any moment, and Blaise had to fight to tear his eyes away from the obtrusive space.
"So he's gone?" Theo asked finally, his face a perfect mask of nonchalance. They all knew it was an act, they hadn't been able to fool each other since they were children. Draco had always been the best liar of them.
Blasie nodded again, holding up the flower.
Pansy let out a choked laugh, "That dramatic bastard." She looked up, sniffling delicately, "How do we spin this?"
"That depends," Theo said, "What do you think happened?" he asked, looking at Blaise.
"He left on his own. It was his choice." It pained him to admit, but it was true. Draco wouldn't have gone down quietly, not if he thought the rest of them could be in danger. "Think, He knows if he went after the Malfoy's, the rest of us would scatter, and Draco could take down any Ministry grunt easily."
Theo blew out a huff of air, "Well, damn."
"We keep going." Pansy intoned, weirdly flat. She looked around, throwing up privacy charms before leaning in and lowering her voice, "If Draco left, that means things have gotten bad." She licked her lips, arranging her face into something strong and determined, "It means he doesn't think The Dark Lord is going to win."
All of them fell silent. They all had family that would be caught in the crossfire if The Dark Lord fell, parents and uncles and siblings that threw their lot in with tradition, no idea how it would turn out.
"We need a plan." Pansy said, "If things go south, we need to get the rabbits out of the warren and somewhere safe. We're enemies on both sides."
Blaise closed his eyes. He thought of what Draco would want, what he would scoff at as 'stupidly hufflepuff,' and finally, what he would do.
"The Zabini estates." He said, almost before he had decided for himself, "If," he emphasised, "Things go south, our manor is almost as old as the Malfoy one."
Pansy frowned, "But-"
"Just the children, and no one with proud ties," he said.
The Zabini neutrality was infamous, but he remembered his mother's words.
"Bimbi, few know what the true nature of neutrality is. But you and I, we both understand."
And he did, he knew exactly what his mother meant now. He was caught between two sides, Draco obviously having forsaken both for his own goals. But Blaise didn't care about sides, he only cared about Draco.
The conversation couldn't go much farther, not with grief still hanging over their heads, so they held it, and went off to start on damage control.
Blaise drew the short straw of informing Professor Snape, he knew Draco loved him, but Blaise had never been able to see past the utilitarian robes and awful haircut.
Knocking on the Professor's door, Blaise waited for an answer before entering.
“Professor.” He said, keeping his tone respectful, and the tremble of fear supressed.
“Mr. Zabini, I trust there is an urgent matter you must discuss?” It looked like it pained him to actually offer help, even if he hadn't actually done it.
“Draco is missing.”
Professor Snape froze, the normally calm and collected teacher suddenly looking like he'd reached for an apple and instead bitten into a rock.
Blaise noted distantly, that he didn't look surprised.
"I thought It best to inform you now, rather than later." Blasie commented, as though this whole thing was a mere inconvenience.
"Have you . . . informed Mr. Malfoy's family?" Snape asked.
"No, I thought it might be best to tell you first." Blaise resisted the urge to grimace, telling Lucius and Narcissa was going to be a nightmare, and from the look on Snape's face, he knew it too.
"I will take care of it." He waved Blaise off, and for a moment, he was so angry he almost disobeyed. His fiancé was gone, and he wasn't even-
Blaise took a breath, and left the room.
The true meaning of neutrality wasn't having no side, it was making your own side and watching the rest of the world burn around you.
Blaise would pick Draco over the world any day.
So when he returned to his room, and sat on Draco's bed, and heard the crinkle of paper underneath him, he didn't hesitate to read it.
Mon nounours,
I understand you may be angry with me, and I'm sorry. I've made my choice, and I couldn't force you to choose along with me. I have a plan, and a goal I intend to complete, so rest assured that I will stop at nothing to see you safe and happy, even if that means crawling from the depths of hell with my bare hands. Your mother would kill me if I left you at the altar.
I trust that you and Pansy are more than capable of leading the snakes in my place, she was always better at it anyways. Don't tell her I said that.
I don't think I need to say it, but keep yourself light. My family needs me, and It's my duty to help them, but if I can, I will find a way to help you, too.
I trust you, more than I trust myself.
I'll be back.
Selfish git. Only he would be cruel enough to write something like this before leaving.
He didn't love Draco the way other engaged people loved their fiancé's. Not even close, Blaise had never worked like that, even though Draco did. Blaise didn't care that Draco slept with Theo, or flirted with every hufflepuff he saw. He knew he wouldn't care if Draco fell in love with someone else, because what he and Blaise were was different, and both of them would be happy just sitting in each other's orbit.
But sitting there, picturing Draco hunched over his desk, writing the words 'I trust you' in familiar, perfect, looping script,his heart broke.
Blaise had never thought of himself as fragile, but knowing Draco was somewhere, alone, with the weight of a war on his shoulders, he felt like he had already shattered.
He would never admit it, but he needed Draco just as much as Draco needed him.
It had always been in Draco's nature to run, and he had always known one day, Draco would run somewhere he couldn't follow.