“Prongs!” I cheered as he entered the common room.
“Hey, darling.” He greeted, whilst picking me up from my place and putting me back down on his lap.
The other boys claimed their spot in the other couch, well Remus and Peter claimed a spot, Sirius basically draped himself over the two boys. I chuckled. James kissed my neck and I blushed. Sirius rolled his eyes.
”Don’t roll your eyes too far back, or you’ll see your brain.” Remus joked.
We started talking about our next mischievous plan. Remus was saying how his Prefect rounds didn’t make it possible to do it tonight.
“Oh that reminds me! The Hufflepuffs are holding a party in their common room tomorrow and I thought we could go together!”
“The Hufflepuffs?”
“Yeah! I have this new outfit, you’ll love it!”
“We’re invited too, right?” Sirius smirked.
I smiled at the other marauders and pretended to think about it. Sirius had these big puppy eyes.
“Of course, Sirius! I can invite anyone I want as long as they don’t snitch.”
“This is why we like you!”
I threw a pillow at Sirius and let out the giggles James loves. His arms around me tightened and he buried his face in my shoulder and I intertwined our fingers.
“So what are the messers up to now?”
“Changing the world!” Peter smiled.
“Something simple. I see”
We laughed at Remus’ response. Peter was the dreamer of the group. I gazed at James and felt my cheeks go red when he smiled back. I giggled and bit my lip.
“I wouldn’t want to change anything. I’ve got James, I’ve got my boys and we can face anything.”
“Of course we can. Together we can move mountains.”
“Nothing can break us up, ain’t that right, Mooney.”
Remus smiled and looked at his friends. He nodded and ruffled Padfoot’s hair. The common room was quiet, so we decided to go back to planning our next strike.
“No way! That’s not going to work, we’ll have detention till the end of times.”
“Oh come on! Minnie deserves at least one.”
“Sirius, no.”
“Sirius, yes.”
The door pulled my attention to it as it opened. Lily walked in, hugging her books tight. I spotted the redhead.
“Lily! Come join us!”
“I’m alright… I-I I’m going to go to bed, I think.”
Something inside me was not happy with that response. I looked around to find a clock. Lily walked to our room. I was worried and James noticed.
”Hey, you okay?”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, my handsome Stag.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I pecked his beautiful lips and ran after Lily. I was catching up with her and heard troubled breathing and some sobs.
“Lily?”
She tried to wipe away the tears, but I hugged her tight. Lily hugged back even tighter, like I would vanish if she let go. I guided her to our dorm and sat her on my bed with a blanket, some music and of course some warm hugs. After a while of talking about random stuff, Lily started to laugh again.
“Sorry for my breakdown but I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
“It’s okay. It can all be a bit much. I’m here if you want to talk.”
“No. Although… There is something you should know…”
I looked at Lily, silently waiting for her to talk about it, but our moment got interrupted by a knock on the door. Lily sunk into the blanket and hid her face in her hands. I wanted to go to her, but there was another knock.
“Alright, Merlin, be patient.”
“It’s me, Remus.”
I opened the door.
“Hey, Remus!”
“I came to check up on Lily.”
I looked over my shoulder and Lily nodded. She got out of her cocoon and crashed into his chest. He hugged her tight.
“What would I do without you two?”
“You’ll never have to find out,” I smiled.
“So, Remus, you and Sirius any progress?”
Lily changed the subject and we talked for hours about him and Sirius. They were so cute. Sirius was oblivious though. The next day was over so quickly. James and I were going to meet up just outside the Hufflepuff common room. I put on my new outfit and gazed at my reflexion. Lily was looking at the floor. I took out one of my most expensive dresses and threw it at her.
“Get dressed, we’re going to the party.”
“No, you can’t make me.”
“Wanna see me try.”
I chased her around the room and hugged her tight. She screamed out her laughter. Her hair tickling my skin. She pleaded for freedom and we laughed while getting her ready for the party. We were looking at our reflections once more.
“You look wonderful, Lily. Let’s just forget everything for one night.”
“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” She sighed.
“Come on. It’ll be fun and we’re not alone we’ve got Marlene, Dorcas, Alice, Mary, Frank AND the marauders joining us. It’ll be fun!”
Lily chuckled and agreed. We first met up with the girls in the common room before going to the kitchens where the boys would be waiting. We came into their view and they all looked at us in awe. James looked at Lily first, before looking at me. I pushed down a venomous look that lurked in my veins.
“Wow, you look gorgeous, my love.” James commented.
“Thanks,”
“All the ladies look stunning,” Sirius laughed, “Careful, Prongs or you’ll lose your lady tonight to someone else.”
I rolled my eyes and opened the note I got from my Hufflepuff friend: ’The barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row, will open if tapped in the rhythm of ‘Helga Hufflepuff’.’ I followed the instruction and soon music filled our ears. I held the door open for my friends. James smiled and pulled me to dance with him. Peter asked Lily to dance and of course Sirius and Remus were dancing. I had never had so much fun. My voice turned raspy and I was able to speak to friends from other houses. My stomach hurt from all the laughing, or perhaps the firewhisky. It was feeling quite late, so I decided to look for my boyfriend. I climbed on a table, to get an advantage point, but someone pulled me off. I crashed into the poor soul. Marlene was lying under me laughing uncontrollably. I grabbed someone’s extended hand.
”Hey are you okay?”
“Pads!” I shouted over the music and hugged him, “I can’t find James.”
“Sit down, I’ll go look for him, stay with Mooney, he’s had a few too many.”
Sirius seemed surprisingly sober. I nodded and flopped onto Remus’ lap. He was talking about Sirius non stop and that I wasn’t allowed to tell Lily and myself that they kissed. I sobered up from that fact.
“WHAT?”
Remus nearly passed out, but one of his favourite songs came on. He wanted to dance, but I could barely keep him on his feet. Sirius pushed his way through the crowd and waved at me to get my attention. Remus basically fell in his arms. I tried to control my laughter.
“I couldn’t find Prongs, but I found Peter. Apparently, he wasn’t feeling well and Lily brought him to our dorm.”
“Thanks! Let’s get Mooney there too, then I can check up on James while we’re there.”
Sirius agreed as we supported Remus. It was quite the adventure sneaking up the many, many stairs with a drunk, and not to mention, humming Remus.
“Can you.. Jesus, don’t fall.. go open the door? I’ve got him,” I grunted, whist readjusting Remus’ arm.
“You sure? Don’t drop him.“
"I won’t. Just move faster.”
Sirius opened the door but has never closed a door so quickly in his life.
“Sirius? Are you okay?”
“Maybe we… Maybe the common room is a uh a good place to put Mooney for the night.”
“What has gotten into you? I’m not going to bring him back to the common room. We’re right at the door.”
“It’s James he’s uh very sick, yeah wouldn’t want you to catch it.”
He was a terrible liar. I felt my heart ache as tears threatened to spill. Sirius must’ve noticed them, because he averted his gaze. I took a deep breath, maybe this was all in my head.
“Sirius, let me in the room.” My voice was soft, but stern.
“Please, no.”
Sirius was pleading me not to open the door, but I pushed Remus into his arms, before barging into the dorm room. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Lily and James were in a rush to get dressed properly again. My heart shattered. I couldn’t shout or be angry. Tears rolled over my eyes.
“Y/N, darling, it is not what it looks like,” James tried.
I scoffed and was puzzling together all the hints. The glances, the signs everything made sense now.
“Please.”
James grabbed my arm. I yanked it back and smacked him across the face.
“Stay away from me!”
Everyone was quiet and stared at me. I could feel my sadness and anger mix. I wanted to scream and shout. I wanted to fall to my knees and cry but most of all I didn’t want to see either of them.
“Y/N, I-"
"Don’t bother, Lily. My boyfriend and my best friend, talk about a cliché…”
“I-”
“Whatever you say won’t change anything. We’re done.”
I stormed out of the room. Sirius had placed down Remus and tucked him in. He then proceeded to look for the map. Lily sunk to her knees embarrassed. She covered up and also left. James finally grasped what had happened.
“Pads, I-”
“Not now, prongs,” Sirius sighed, “I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good…. Got you.”
Sirius ran out of there and made his way to me. I tried to hide in the Astronomy tower. It was the highest one and no one was here. I sobbed and tried to catch my breath as the images of them together flooded my brain.
“Mischief managed.”
“Go away, Sirius.” I sniffled.
“No. You need a friend.”
Sirius sat next to me and pulled me in the tightest hug ever. Every effort to conceal my pain melted away. I cried for hours on end. Sirius just held me, drawing circles on my back. The sun crept over the horizon. I started to run out of tears, just violent sobs as I tried to regain control of my breath. Black held out a handkerchief. I softly chuckled and accepted it.
“Thanks, Sirius for staying with me all night.”
“Anytime. You are not alone here.”
“It feels like it… I just can’t believe they would do that to me.”
“I’m sure they had a reason.”
I stood up and sighed: “I don’t need excuses. I want to get out of this place.”
“We could go for an early walk.”
“I need to get changed. This isn’t exactly the best thing to wear during the day.”
“I’ll walk you.”
“The girls might still be asleep, if I’m lucky. You should probably go to Remus. He’s going to need you after tonight.”
“I’ll go check up on Remus, you change and I’ll come get you for a walk. Deal?”
“Alright.”
Sirius placed his jacket around my shoulders, as we walked back to the common room. He reclaimed his jacket before we went our separate way. Sirius sprinted back to his dorm. He slowed down when raised voices reached his ears. He pushed open the door to a raging Remus being held back by a worried looking Peter. James stood there no reaction just looking at the ground.
“Padfoot, a little help please!”
“Prongs, what did you tell him?”
“I told him… I messed up. Merlin I messed up. I broke her heart.” His blank stare never left the floor.
“How could you kiss another woman!?”
“Wormtail, let him go. Mooney, you’re not going to punch him.”
“Watch me.” he scoffed.
“Prongs, you’re my brother and I will always be your friend, but hurting Y/n by kissing Lily… that’s beyond cruel.” Sirius sighed.
“Lily!?” Remus shouted.
“Mooney I’m sorry! I was drunk. I like Lily and I like Y/n.”
Remus punched James square in the face. He hissed at the pain caused in his own hand, whilst James grabbed his jaw.
“Mooney!”.
Remus looked at Sirius and knew the consequences. He rolled his eyes and sat on the bed. Peter helped James up.
“I’m okay, I deserved that.”
“Yeah. You did.” Remus grumbled.
“How is she?”
“She’ll live… Have you talked to Lily?”
“Uh no. Lily ran off. I tried to find you and Y/N, but failed and I uh cried all night.”
Sirius sighed. He hated being in the middle of this.
“We’re going to not kill each other. We’re going to fix this somehow.”
“Why should we?”
“Because Mooney if it was me, or Wormtail, or you, then Prongs would help us.”
“He cheated on her. The guy who values loyalty and love, cheated on her.”
“I know this is bad okay? I was with her until she couldn’t cry anymore. So we’re going to find a way that they get to a point of talking again.”
The boys looked at each other, knowing Sirius was right.
“Okay, now tell us how long this has been going on and no more lies. If you lie I will hex you into oblivion.” Sirius sighed, leaning against the door.
“I started flirting with Lily… 2 weeks ago. Nothing happened, but yesterday at I was drunk and Lily was as well and I flirted so we came here and I almost made the worst mistake of my life.”
"Arguably you did.” Remus mumbled under his breath.
Sirius gave him the look. Remus just crossed his arms and looked away.
“I just want to talk to her, tell her I’m sorry.“
"You should.” Peter suggested.
“She probably won’t listen…” James sighed.
Meanwhile
I snuck into my room, but Lily was right there her focus aimed at the door. Her puffy eyes betrayed her crying. Marlene, Dorcas and Mary were sound asleep. I ignored Lily and opened my suitcase, searching for some comfy clothes.
“Please, you have to listen to me.”
“I don’t have to do anything for you, Lily. You lost that right when you were going to hook up with my partner.”
“Urgh! Look, I regret what happened. I never meant to hurt you! Don’t you get that?”
“What I don’t get is you kissing James!”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen!”
“Really? Or you just hoped I would never found out, right!?”
“What? That is ridiculous! You are being so unreasonable!”
“Am I? Last night wasn’t the first time was it? You were going to tell me Thursday that he’s been flirting with you, right?”
Her silence gave me enough proof that I was right. I groaned and tossed my stuff into my suitcase. I couldn’t look at her.
“I can’t believe it. You are… were my friend.”
“Fine! Yes, James flirted with me, but I never responded to it! Last night was just a mistake.”
“When your friend’s boyfriend flirts with them you tell your friend! Anyway I don’t want to talk to you… I hope he was worth it.”
“What’s going on?” Marlene groaned and pushed herself onto her elbows.
I whipped around and left towards the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me.
“Open the goddamn door!”
“Leave me alone!”
“You are insufferable! You never listen!”
“Why is there yelling this early?”
I heard Marlene and Lily talk. I just sat on the bathroom floor trying my best not to start crying again. There was a knock on the door.
“Let me in.”
“No, Marlene.”
“You have to.”
“I don’t want to see anyone, just leave me alone.”
“I’ve got to go.”
I quickly changed and opened the door. Marlene pushed Lily in there with me and held the door closed. I tried opening it, but it didn’t work. Lily was standing at the other side of the small room. I hugged my body and slid down the door. Lily stood there. The tension was high. Time ticked by, I could hear Hogwarts waking up.
“Is there anyway I can make it up to you?”
“I’m not talking to you.”
“We’re stuck here till you do, so let’s both make an effort to get somewhere.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I would rather die.”
“Why are you mad at me? James is the one who cheated on you.”
“WITH YOU!”
“How is that my fault?”
I shoved Lily against the wall. Her yelp made me realise what I did and I let her go. I felt horrible and mumbled a stream of apologies. Lily was bleeding. I tried to stop it.
“MARLS!” I cried out.
Marlene took Lily to madame Pomfrey. I sat next to her bed, but didn’t move or react. I couldn’t. Marlene’s voice was there, but I didn’t process a single thing that she uttered. I messed up. Marlene decided to bring me some clothes and a blanket so I could stay next to Lily. Remus, Sirius and James knocked on the door, but only saw Marlene.
“It took you all 2 days to come and say hi to the two people you broke?”
“Marls, where are they?”
“I don’t need to tell you Sirius.”
“Marlene, please it’s important.”
Marlene stopped the packing and turned to the boys contemplating her next witty response, but none came out. She looked at the ground and turned back to the bag.
“They’re in the hospital wing. Lily got hurt when I forced the two of them to talk. Lily will be fine, just needs rest but I can’t get through to the one you broke. She was freaking out when she realised she hurt Lily and has not moved since. So whatever you have to say to her or Lily will have to wait.”
“I’m going to the hospital wing.”
“Remus, no.”
Remus ignored the elder boy and picked up his pace. He saw me and pulled me in a hug, but trying to move me spooked me and I started screaming and crying. Remus whispered reassuring words in my ears and held me close.
“It’s all my fault.”
“It’s not on you, Y/n”
“I hurt Lily, I never meant to do so. I was angry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
Remus just held me closer and I cried in his shoulder. I told him how I could’ve killed the one that saw me and the one that held me during nights of terror. Remus drew circles on my back. James walked in and went to Lily. I just stared at the ground. Remus’ muscles tensed around me. Voices around me passed over my head. I’m pretty sure Marlene had rejoined us, but I wasn’t sure. I started looking around again. I don’t know how long had past, but at that time I decided I would disappear into the wall. I stood up and walked out, not saying anything to anyone. They were all stunned. I hid in the shrieking shack since then. There wasn’t really a way for me to keep track of time so I didn’t.
“Still no sign of her?” Sirius asked his boyfriend.
“Nothing.”
“You guys too?” Marlene sighed.
“She can’t just vanish of the surface.”
“Who disappeared of the surface, Mister Pettigrew.”
The four Gryffindors were deer in headlights. They definitely didn’t expect McGonagall to find out like this.
“Y/N, she hasn’t been here for 4 days. We don’t know where she is.”
“A student missing? None of you thought to inform me?”
They looked to the ground. Sirius stepped forward, with the gaze of the others following him.
“It was my idea, Professor, we thought we could find her. We’re getting worried. I don’t think she’s doing okay.”
“We’ll find her, Mister Black.”
Sirius nodded and turned back to his friends. Marlene hugged him. The group was send to the common room for the day, whilst the teachers took over the search. I was in my room packing my things. I had James’ invisibility cloak. I heard voices so I hid. Lily barged through the door. James not far behind her.
“Lily, I know I made mistakes, but you have to know I burn for you.”
“You burn for me? How can I trust you ever? You cheated on my best, with me. I lost her because of you, because I can’t seem to stay away from you.”
“You’re as much at fault here.”
Lily slapped him across the face.
“HOW DARE YOU?”
“Lily, I… I’m sorry.” He sunk onto her bed and let some tears escape, “I hurt someone I cared for in a way I despise. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
Lily sat next to him.
“James?”
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe… I’m not worth it.”
“James don’t say that.”
“When I was with her I thought nothing would ever pull me from her, nothing. She was THE one, you know that feeling?” Lily shook her head, “It’s like you can move mountains and you can do anything, but after a year. I felt like I changed. She was still wonderful and I could’ve happily stayed with her, but I wanted adventures, while she wanted long nights in the couch snuggling. I wasn’t what she deserves. She deserves so much more, but hanging out with you sparked that sense of adventure again. I handled it poorly, but I promise you, nothing like that will ever happen again. I’m burning to know what you want, where we go next where our hearts take us next. I need you, Lily.”
I had never seen him this vulnerable.
“I’m yours Lily. Only yours.”
“I’ve always been yours.”
James leaned in. I cleared my throat. The duo jumped apart. I took off the cloak.
“Before I had to watch that.”
Lily hugged me tight. I chuckled and held her close.
“Where have you been!?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
James was still on the bed letting his tears fall.
I took a deep breath: “I forgive you. Can you forgive me?”
“For what?” Lily questioned.
“I hurt you and I stole your invisibility cloak.”
James chuckled through the tears and accepted the cloak.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Well not to us anyway. We’ll just call it even.”
“How mad do you think Sirius will be?”
“Marlene is the one you should be worried about.”
I laughed and held Lily close.
“Well I’ll leave you two alone now. We’ll be fine, but now I need to make up to some other people.”
Lily hugged me one last time and I walked down. Remus froze when he saw me.
“It can’t be.”
“It is.”
Sirius whipped around, climbed over the couch and hugged me closer than anyone had ever done.
“Don’t do that again.”
“I won’t.”
Marlene followed.
“Marls, I missed you.”
“You owe me an explanation. Where did you come from?”
“I saw James and Lily, uh.. We’ll be fine.” Tears welled up in my eyes.
“Hey if you-”
“I’m okay, thanks. They should be happy. It’s how it was supposed to be.”
Everyone stood around me thinking what the next step should be.
“How about we celebrate your return? Three broomsticks, my treat.” Peter suggested.
“Now that I’ll do.” I pushed past the concerned faces and followed Peter.
Remus walked up to me, but before he could I ran off. Remus started the chase and tickled me once he caught up. Sirius and Marlene heard my laughter fill the halls. Marlene looked back.
“James is one lucky bastard.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.” Sirius laughed.
“Pads! Come on!”
Sirius put on his best smile and ran over. I made him jump up and gave him a piggy back ride as our mischievous laughs filled the halls.
“Wait!” Remus laughed once we were halfway to Hogsmeade.
“What?”
“We didn’t tell Minnie that we found her.”
I laughed even louder and looked at all my friends.
“Honestly what’s the worst that can happen?”
“You’d be surprised.” Sirius sighed.
“Nothing surprises me anymore.”