How I (actually) met your father

April, 1989

“Dora! Wait up! " 

"No can do!"

Toast in mouth and a coffee cup in her hand, 16 year old Nymphadora Tonks and her fellow Hufflepuff Hilary Davies almost ran through the Grand Hall, pushing and shoving people aside as they hurried towards the sixth year classroom for their Defence Against The Dark Arts lesson. Racing right to the front row, both of them dumped their bags on the tables, sitting on the benches and heaving a sigh of relief. 

"Phew!" Hilary tried to catch her breath. "I thought we would lose our seats today." 

"Me too. Even worse, I thought I would tumble down the stairs yet again in my hurry to get here,” Nymphadora gulped down the last of her toast and cleaned her hands on her skirt. "Good we reached just in time though. I wasn't prepared for another fight for the best seats in the class. Last time Charlie Weasley almost hexed my neck off. Git!"

Hilary giggled. "Weasley's not a bad guy. If you tell him he'll probably understand. He'll even reserve seats for you."

Nymphadora rolled her eyes. "In my experience, guys are too dense for this kind of thing. If they understood, I wouldn't be having so much trouble in first place... " She stopped and stood up suddenly, throwing her bright pink hair behind her shoulder. "Here he comes,” she whispered,  a smile and a blush creeping up on her face.

Hilary turned to look at a tall, lean brown haired guy walk into the room with a bunch of parchments under his arm. Dressed in an old dark blue jumper over a shirt, tie and  trousers, the guy was young, presumably in his late twenties, and Hilary could not help giggle at the excited lovelorn look on Nymphadora's face as their substitute teacher for Defence against the dark arts, Mr. Lupin walked by her, flashing a polite smile as he did so. 

"Good morning Nymphadora, Hilary. First again today, eh? Wow. You girls are really sincere."

"Good morning Mr. Lupin. Well, you know me, how much I like your classes,’ laughed Nymphadora. “Besides, you always come early too.”

“Got no choice. I come over as soon as the church bell tolls in Hogsmeade. I broke my watch just before I came here.”

“Oh.. how come?”

He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “I keep breaking a lot of my things.”

“I keep breaking a lot of my things too. But that’s just cause I’m clumsy.” Nymphadora bit her lip. Mr. Lupin did not need to know about her bad habits. She adjusted her tie, ran a hand through her shoulder length pink hair and sat up primly.

“By the way sir, I've been meaning to thank you for your insightful comments on my paper on banshees. No other teacher volunteers with such interesting tidbits."

"Glad you liked it Nymphadora." Her teacher hardly looked at her, busy in charming the duster to clean the backboard and the chalk drawer to fill itself.  "I have a book on banshees, if you want to know more about them. I can lend it to you."

"Oh that would be amazing Sir, thankyou so much." A pause later, she continued. "Just a small question though, if it's not too personal.. you always sign the papers you grade as RJ Lupin.. Can I know what the R means.."

"Certainly Nymphadora. The R stands for Remus. Remus John Lupin." Her teacher turned round and smiled at her, then set about adjusting his things around the table and frowning at the closed windows. "Why is the classroom so dark?"

"Why indeed,” murmured Nymphadora dreamily as the next moment the curtains were magically drawn back and the windows opened. The room was filled with brilliant sunlight and from her seat in the first row she watched her substitute teacher's beautiful green eyes reflect the light brilliantly, the features on his handsome young face now highlighted. Even the presence of a scar or a few wrinkles on his face did little to mask how good looking he was, rather it gave him a sort of manliness that Nymphadora had not seen in any boy in her class. He smiled again at the warm sunlight and she let out a deep breath, feeling her heart skip a beat. How lucky would be the girl who woke up next to him everyday, staring in those deep eyes and facing that beautiful, gentle smile first thing in the morning... 

"Remus John Lupin." She murmured to herself, doodling the name on the back cover of her book. "Nymphadora Remus Lupin. What a dreamy name he's got! It makes my idiot of a name sound so much better as well."

"Almost as dreamy as him." Hilary agreed, clearly too shy to talk directly to the teacher.

"Back off, he's mine!" Nymphadora snarled. Then in a careful voice, she said aloud, "Remus is a wonderful name sir. It suits you very much."

He stopped adjusting his things and gave her what seemed to be a suspicious look. "Do you even know what it means?" 

Nymphadora fumbled. "No, I.. I don't know Latin.. But I like it.. the sound of it... It somehow suits you very much.”

“I don’t. I hate my name, to be honest.”

“That’s amazing! We have so much in common! Cos I hate my name too!” Nymphadora exclaimed, as her teacher looked back at her in surprise. “Once I’m seventeen, I’m going to ditch my first name and go with Tonks. Just Tonks.”

He seemed amused at her answer, and she beamed. Laughter was good. It was always a good sign. That was what her father always told her if her mother ended up smiling mid argument.

"You can call me Remus if you like my name so much. And I’ll call you Tonks." He said in his characteristic warm voice, and she was not sure whether he was being nice or it was some sort of an inside joke but then next moment he added, “I'm not your teacher anyway, just a substitute, more like a senior. You don't have to be so formal with me."

Her heart leapt with excitement. As he turned back to open the boxes he'd brought with him for their lecture, she winked back at her friend, who only looked jealously at her and tried to raise her voice to speak too, but her voice got cut off over the voice of several students who had now started filling in the class, calling out to each other, wishing their teacher good morning and jostling for seats. In no time, the class was jam packed, few students from the seventh year had also joined in. No surprises there. Remus was a very good teacher- much better than the previous cartoons they'd had in the name of teachers, who never seemed to last beyond a year. Not only was his teaching style practical oriented, he was also very friendly and approachable, more than eager to devote extra time to help out weaker students, complete pending syllabus and provide orientation sessions to those who were planning for NEWTS and advanced studies. 

If only they'd had him sooner, Nymphadora wished fervently, remembering their last Defence Against The Dark Arts Teacher Mr Nargaro from Africa, now in St. Mungo's undergoing treatment for his mangled limbs and garbled mind. Officially, the incident which had led to his state was still under investigation, unofficially, it was a foregone conclusion that like many others before him, he'd fallen prey to the jinx on the post of teacher for Defence Against The Dark Arts. While she felt sorry for him, she could not help feeling thankful for the unusual turn of events, which had led Mr. Nargaro's research apprentice Remus Lupin to take his place as a substitute tutor to complete the syllabus for exam going batches, while the hunt for a senior, more qualified teacher continued. 

She looked up at Lupin... Oops.. Remus.. teaching the class animatedly. Today he was teaching them about flesh eating slugs, and had brought a specimen along- pointing out how even though it preferred flesh, it could eat almost anything- right now it was enjoying a piece of cabbage. Students had jostled out of their seats near the slug tank to watch the creature up close, asking him questions which he patiently answered. He warmly invited a few shy Hufflepuffs to come up in the front, calmly warned a few Slytherins not to push people around, and threw around a few questions, awarding those who answered with praise and points. The students were a little scared of the creature, but also inquisitive. It looked ridiculous, and was supposedly dangerous - to defeat it one had to use a special repellant that was nowadays easily available.

“But that’s the easy part,” Remus spoke out loud. “Logically, no one carries a repellant with them at all times. How do you then defeat a flesh eating slug if you come across it suddenly in a jungle or something, and it sticks to you?  Now this one’s tiny, and I found this in the school lawns eating a cabbage, but it could have so easily been someone’s hand. Or head. And it could have been a few feet in height.”

The students shuddered. Few of them suggested blasting or stunning it, few suggested using a reducto charm and overpowering it, few even suggested using the cruciatus and got glares in return. Remus gave his own ideas, and approved or pointed out flaws in the plan. Rightly, it would have to be a combination of spell work and tactic, and Remus used the discussion to jog their memory through the various defensive charms they’d learned this year.

“The last time I fought one, I petrified it first, and then used reducto,” Remus finally answered. “That made it lose its hold on me and fall off. I then used the incendio duo charm to incarcerate it. Couldn’t just leave it there to attack the next traveller,  considering it was as big as my arm.”

Murmurs of wow rang out in the crowd.

“Is that how you got your scars Sir?” Nymphadora piped up, imagining him rolling heroically in the ground like a warrior, his shirt torn and his chest half exposed, pointing his wand defiantly at a massive flesh eating slug threatening to suck off his face. The thought made her swoon.

Remus seemed startled. “No, no, that’s different.”

“Tell us that story too someday Mr. Lupin!”

“Yeah those scars are vicious! He must be a badass!”

“Was it a vampire? Or a ghoul?”

Remus clapped his hands to get the attention of his students back. “That’s enough everyone! Please get back to your desks. Homework- kindly summarise the chapter on flesh eating slugs and submit it to me by Monday.”

The students returned to their desks discussing about the slug. No one had realised when the allotted hour had ended, and as the bell rang, they picked up their bags and started filing out, discussing loudly about the lesson, even as Remus levitated the boxes and parchments out of the hall. 

"Let me help you Sir." Nymphadora hurried forward, lifting the slug tank before he could say no.

"Thankyou Nymphadora, that's very kind of you. Now before I leave, class, let me remind you, I will be taking extra classes for N.E.W.T.S appearing students and those who need special guidance for exams for Gringotts and Auror training. Since time is limited and a lot needs to be covered, I would request the Prefects to please submit a list of interested names before Thursday so I can plan it out. Have a good day, everybody!’

And with that, he walked out of the classroom, a grinning and almost tripping Nymphadora at his heel. 

******* 

"Expecto Patronum!"

A silvery swish of light, and a jackrabbit flew out of Nymphadora's wand and landed on the ground. It rubbed its eyes, looked at her and then Remus, and scuttled around to his feet, sniffing and blinking cutely.

"Excellent Nymphadora! Look everyone, she’s got it! That’s how you produce a patronus! Ten points to Hufflepuff!" 

Nymphadora beamed. Taking extra lessons had not been a bad idea after all. Not only did Remus teach them some very interesting stuff, she also seemed to be rising higher in his opinion every day, if she could herself say so. She had outperformed everyone else in defensive charms, fought boggarts and kappas, proved herself up to date with her knowledge on grindylows and hinkypunks, resisted the Imperius better than anyone else, and got top marks in their latest paper on vampires. She’d even started making progress with non verbal spells, leaving him very impressed with both her abilities and her sincerity, and agreeing to give her special coaching on advanced defensive magic.

Everyday, while the rest of the students rushed out after class, she would stay behind to ask doubts or clear his stuff for him, sometimes accompanying him back to his office on the pretext of wanting to look at a particular specimen again. This gave her an opportunity to make small talk and ask casual questions about his life. She knew plenty about him now- while in Hogwarts, he’d been a Gryffindor (obviously!) he loved chocolate (ditto!) he preferred jazz over country music and he preferred countrysides over cities. He seemed to be someone who went with the flow, considering he had taken up a lot of odd jobs over the years. He had been doing editing and research work for Mr. Narboro for the last three months, mostly through correspondence, and had literally walked into his teaching shoes when he came to Hogwarts to discuss their latest papers with him and found out about his accident. Talk about meant to be!

As the days went by, she developed an easy, friendly equation with him. One evening, he had even allowed her to carry his books along with him right upto his quarters, and later invited her in for a cup of tea. It had been exactly as she had dreamt of - earl grey with only a hint of milk and a variety of spices, a delicious aroma around it, his smiling warm face over the stove, and the warm comfort of his room. One sip of the tea and she was left with no doubts that he was the most perfect man ever, as per her, only a perfect man could make such perfect tea. She had bragged about it to whoever would bother to listen, and had been the envy of the Hufflepuff common room that night- after all, she was not the only girl in Hogwarts harbouring a massive crush on their new substitute teacher, but the only one making any sort of real progress. 

"A month, maybe two months more, and he'll ask me out. " She told her friends. 

"What if he doesn't?"

"Then I'll ask him out." 

"Really Nymphadora? Would you dare?!"

"Okay firstly, don't call me Nymphadora, I hate it.  Dora or Tonks, that’s it. Secondly, why not?"

"What if he says no?"

"He won't say no. He likes me." She told her friends confidently. 

Indeed, he couldn't say no, she thought. Not after she’d showed him how devoted she was to him. She worked hardest at his lessons, finished homework in the best handwriting, defended him against those who laughed at his old clothes and shoes, read ahead before coming to classes and volunteered for all classes he was taking, even those for the senior years and those taking advance Auror classes. When he asked her why, she meekly, (and somewhat truthfully) told him that she didn't know if they would get such a good teacher again next term, and he only smiled back, complimenting her sincerity.

In reality, she couldn't get enough of him. She needed to see him daily to satiate her hunger. The more time she spent around him, the more she ended up wanting him. He'd even started coming in her dreams now- at first the dreams had been very sweet- them roaming around together in Hogsmeade, hand in hand, while snow fell in the backdrop; them sharing an icecream cone while giving each other flirty glances; sitting together in front of a big fire, huddled together, laughing and trying to warm each other.

Lately though, the dreams had started getting bolder too. She dreamt of him boldly proclaiming his desire for her, how much he wanted to hold and kiss and physically  express his love for her. She dreamt of making out with him in their DADA classroom behind closed doors even as the rest of the students waited for the lecture to begin. She saw him hold her close, so close that she could hear his sighs and feel every beat of his heart and the warmth of his skin, and kiss his bare chest and bury her face in it, even as he ran his fingers through her pink hair, one hand firmly around her waist,  nuzzling into her neck and whispering things that made her blush.

‘Nymphadora,’ she would hear him say under his breath as his body pushed firmly against hers, pressed against a wall, in a voice that was both passion and pleasure with a tinge of pain, in a way that made her love her name for the first time in years. ‘Oh, Nymphadora!’

She always woke up from these dreams sweating profusely, with her heart beating fast and a strange, but not unpleasant sensation between her legs, and it would always take her a long time to fall asleep again. It was another close friend Celestia who explained to her what this was and how to deal with it, and she understood that she liked her substitute teacher in a way she’d never liked anyone else, ever. It didn’t surprise her, therefore, that when she sniffed Amortentia in Severus Snape’s Potions class, she could smell the heavenly earl grey tea that Remus had brewed for her.

Yup. He was the one.

All that remained was to ask him out on a date.

*******

The opportunity presented itself when she was at Hogsmeade one weekend, enjoying butterbeer with her friends at The Three Broomsticks, and he entered in, alone.

“Remus.. Remus… hi!” She shouted, and he turned to look at her, gave her a small smile and a nod of the head and turned back to talk to Madam Rosmerta at the counter. He then carried his order by a quiet single seat at the window, where he opened a book and sat down to drink his large cafe latte in peace.

“Join us here, Mr. Lupin!” Pancy Parrington called out, but Remus only shook his head, smiling, indicating his book. Nymphadora burst out laughing, earning an annoyed look from Pancy.

“Sorry Pancy! It was a good try though.” She muttered, trying to keep a straight face, and focused her attention back to Remus. “Oh look at him, looking so precious and edible over there!” Nymphadora gushed, peering over the top of her friends head to sneak a peek at him again and again. “Wonder if he’s thinking about me too? I bet he is! He must have seen me through the window and decided to come in…”

“No way!” said her friend Hilary.

“Of course that’s what happened. It would be too much of a coincidence otherwise. Too bad I’m with company else we could have…”

“You’re all talk and no action, Dora.” Pancy said, a frown on her face. “You’re always talking of how he’s as much into you as you are into him, but for all your claims, you have nothing to show.”

“Really?” Nymphadora raised one eyebrow. “Have you forgotten that I’m the only one who’s allowed to call him by his first name? That he gave me his book on banshees to read, his personal book, with his handwriting and his doodling and his smell and everything? That I’m his favourite student in class, the one who he allows to carry his books and…”

“He’s nice to everyone.” Pancy said sullenly. “You’re just making it all about yourself. Bucky Abbott in seventh grade had a panic attack and collapsed in the classroom midway lecture. He not only helped her cope but spent a long time in the infirmary later talking to her. I think that is way more private time spent than any he’s ever spent with you.”

Nymphadora rolled her eyes. “That’s not a date, that’s a medical emergency. He did his duty as a good human being, I’m very proud. But he willingly spends time with me.”

“Inviting you in for tea ONCE just because you’ve offered to carry his books for him repeatedly does not make it a date either. Even Snape would do that if you offered to carry his books daily or cleared his table.”

“Ewww Snape!”

“She’s right Dora!” Hilary meekly pointed out. “He’s just nice to everyone in general. The other day he gave me chocolate when I failed to make a patronus.”

“That’s because it helps against dementors!”

“Excuses, excuses,” sang Pancy and all the girls laughed. Nymphadora glared at them angrily.

“You think you’re being funny but you’re just coming across as jealous and pathetic. And I’m not surprised, you know what I am, don’t you?” Nymphadora said, tossing her head so her hair fell over her shoulder- bright reddish brown today and coming upto her waist. “You know how many guys have already approached me for dates, and you know Remus would be fascinated too. I bet he is, already. He’s so smart, he’s probably already figured out…’

“Oh of course he knows that you’re a freak!”

“I’m not a freak! You’re just jealous you don’t have powers like mine!”

“Oh I could hardly care! And you’re not that special, neither in school nor in Mr. Lupin’s eyes! “

“I am!”

“Really? Why haven’t you approached him so far then?”

“I just want it to be special. Next month is my birthday, I’ll turn 17 then, and my Mom and Dad are sure to send an extra few galleons for me to buy whatever I want.”

“Excuses, excuses!” sang Pancy again and all the girls laughed. Nymphadora turned almost as red as her hair.

“Oh yeah?! Fine!” Nymphadora jumped up in anger. “Ten galleons say that I’m going to get a date out of him right now!”

“Alright!”

And Nymphadora strode out of her little circle and started walking towards him with determined steps.

He was still sitting near the windowsill, sipping his cafe latte and reading his book, but her pace gradually slowed. As she approached him, she suddenly realised she was blank- she had no plan of action, and pretty much no idea of what she was going to  say. She had never approached a guy before, and had no lines.

Had she bitten off more than she could chew?

She looked back at her friends who were now grinning at her. There was no way she could back out now, she would end up being the joke of the Hufflepuff common room if she did.

He looked up from his book at that moment and caught sight of her. “Oh hello Nymphadora,” he said pleasantly, and she instantly beamed- her name sounded so good in his raspy warm voice. “Nice day, isn’t it?”

“It is, indeed.” She noisily pulled a chair and sat opposite him. He raised an eyebrow but did not say anything. She wondered if she should tell him the truth that she was on a dare- he would probably be a sport and help her if she told him- then decided against it. She only had to spend ten minutes or so and then get back. That could be done, couldn’t it?

“Anything Nymphadora?”

“Yes, I errr… I wanted to ask you something, if I’m not disturbing you, that is.”

“Not at all, go on.”

“Umm..” she racked her brains. “It’s my birthday next month. I turn seventeen.”

“Oh. That’s very nice.”

“Yes, so, you know it’s a very special birthday for me, cause I’ll turn seventeen…”

“Of course. You’ll come of age. You’ll be a legal adult. You’ll be able to do magic as and when you please and drink Firewhisky.” Remus chuckled. Nymphadora laughed, her nervousness fading. Maybe this wouldn’t go that bad, she thought.

“Yes… and I wanted to make it even more special by giving myself something I really wanted… have wanted for quite some time now, actually.”

“Yes…”

She licked her lips, as she looked into his dreamy green eyes, and lower down to his lips.

“A new experience, so as to say.”

“Yes…”

So will you go out with me on my birthday?

“So can I give my Apparition Test on my birthday?”

Blimey!

Remus had both eyebrows raised now. “You want to give an exam on your birthday? Wow, I can’t imagine anyone ever wanting to do that.”

She couldn’t imagine herself being this stupid either and was now mentally hitting herself with a large troll club. She was never this nervous, how had this happened? She looked back at her friends who were still peering at her in interest, but their serious faces showed that they hadn’t yet realised what had happened.

It’s okay. The damage could still be repaired. She smiled at him.

“Yes. As you can only give the exam once you’re seventeen, I was hoping to give it on my birthday, and then I’d be not just of age and free to do whatever magic I want, I would also be free to apparate!”

“Well, yeah, I suppose it’s a good idea. I suggest you talk to Professor McGonagall, she might be able to get it arranged for you.”

“Thank you Remus, oh there’s one teeny tiny thing more.”

“What?”

I want to kiss you on my birthday.

“Do you think one would go deaf if they listened to Celestina Warbeck for a long time?”

Shit shit shit!

Remus almost coughed out his coffee latte in an attempt to stop laughing. “Pardon?”

“Uh well actually, I was reading banshees and I realised Celestina Warbeck has a background chorus of banshees and you know what they say don’t you…”

But Remus was no longer looking at her. His eyes were now on a black haired witch with pink cheeks who had just walked in, and was merrily placing her order with Rosmerta.

“Hestia!” He called out loud. The woman at the counter turned, and the expression on her face changed to a serious one.

Even as Nymphadora continued her explanation of her foot in mouth response, Remus slid out of his chair and walked to Hestia, leaving both women shocked.

“Hestia, hi!” Remus said, a hesitant smile on his face. “Remember me?”

“Hi.. yes, of course I remember you Remus..” the strange woman said, not facing him directly, looking at the menu first and then pretending as if she was fishing in her purse for loose change.

“Fancy meeting you here, after all these years… how… how have you been?”

“Good, good.” The woman named Hestia mumbled, looking around anxiously even as Nymphadora sat with her heart pounding in his chest. Who was this bitch? Why was Remus looking at her like that when he’d never looked at HER like that?

“I’m at Hogwarts now.” Remus continued to speak. “Substitute teacher for Defence Against The Dark Arts. It’s temporary but I’m hoping to make as much of it as I can.”

“Very nice.” Hestia said in a tone that seemed to convey she couldn’t be any less interested. “Listen Remus, it’s great to see you again but I really need to go, I’m expecting to meet someone.”

“Oh okay.” Remus seemed deflated. “Maybe we can meet again sometime then, if you’re still in Hogsmeade…”

But Hestia had turned and scuttled away without as much as a goodbye, and Remus was left standing alone on the counter. His gaze fixed on the ground for a while, and then when he looked up again, he had such a longing in his eyes and a disappointed look on his face that Nymphadora was shocked.

She got up from her seat and immediately walked out of The Three Broomsticks, peering around. There was Hestia, scuttling away as if she’d seen a ghost, not even stopping to talk to anyone. She turned back to look at Remus, still standing near the counter, looking as forlorn as a puppy who’d been kicked in the gut, and her heart physically ached to see him so sad.

She gazed again at Hestia- taking in every bit of her appearance- her height, her facial features, her clothes, her voice, her mannerism. She closed her eyes again, concentrating hard on Hestia’s features. Then she opened her eyes and surveyed herself.

Slowly she turned and looked at her reflection in the glass window pane- a pink cheeked woman with long black hair and short height dressed in a black dress stared back at her. There was no trace of Nymphadora now in her features, just Hestia. He wouldn’t be able to tell.

Satisfied with her appearance, she stepped back into the shop.

“Remus?”

He looked up at her, and his face lit up with happiness. “Hestia!” He said happily. “You… you came back?!”

Nymphadora smiled at him, pushing her now black hair behind her ears and trying her best to speak the way the other women had spoken, the same deep slow voice. “Of course, I just saw my friend outside and went to cancel my meeting with her. I’ll meet her some other time. I…I wanted to catch up with you.”

Remus nodded happily. “Me too. It’s been so long. Come, let’s sit here.”

“Umm.. actually, I’d prefer we step out. This place is really crowded, I can see your students gawking at you from over there. Would it be fine with you if we take a walk?”

“Yes, yes of course… let me just get my stuff..” he ran quickly and picked up his book from the table, forgetting his coffee and hardly registering Nymphadora’s absence.

******

They walked around the magical village of Hogsmeade together, talking in low tones. Remus looked as if he’d suddenly turned years younger, there was an unexplained light and happiness on his face and he turned to look at her again and again, as if he couldn’t believe his luck, and Nymphadora revelled in his joy, her heart bubbling with excitement too as she led him to her favourite place- the benches in front of the Owl Post Office- where they could sit and talk peacefully and watch the owls take flight. There, she asked him how he was, about his life and his new job, and he laughed in reply.

“Still surviving,” he said. “Making do somewhat. It’s not easy, and I still can’t keep a job for more than 3 months, and I have to keep moving every once in a while but I haven’t given up hope. Professor Dumbledore has appreciated my little stint in Hogwarts, and I’ve got a little bit of experience to show now, so let’s see what comes of it.”

“I hope you stay permanently at Hogwarts,” gushed Nymphadora, then sobered her voice to sound like Hestia. “I mean, you seem to like this job, and this way we could be in touch as well.”

“Yes of course. I pretty much haven’t been in touch with anyone from the Order. Actually, it’s the other way round… but…” he shrugged, and Nymphadora frowned, not understanding. However, this was not the moment to pay attention on this.

This was the opportunity to get some answers out of him.

“Do you have a girlfriend, Remus?”

He stared at her and she realised she’d made a blunder jumping to this question so quickly. She pretended to laugh to mask her nervousness. “Oh come on, like you aren’t wondering about the same, or dying to tell that to me.”

Remus blushed scarlet, and she swore she could have kissed him then.

“You know me,” he said quietly, “Marked for sainthood, as Sirius used to say.”

Sirius who, she thought, but thankfully, refrained from asking him and pretended to laugh.

“He’s a funny guy, Sirius, I haven’t met him for a long time now.”

He looked at her pointedly and she realised she’d again made a tactical error.

“Me neither. And I hope I don’t cross paths with him ever again.” He said but his tone was serious now and he was looking down at his hands. So he was not on good terms with this Sirius guy, whoever he was, Nymphadora thought.

“Leave him, let’s discuss something else. Do you still like jazz? There’s a club nearby which plays that kind of music.”

A smile broke out on Remus’ face. “You remember?”

“Of course I do. I miss it too. I can’t listen to jazz at my own home, you know.”

“I take it that your children don’t let you?”

Golly- Hestia had children?!!!!

She pretended to laugh again. “Yes of course. They got it from their father I think.” She murmured uncertainly. Hestia was married?! Why the hell was Remus chatting up with a married woman? Oh dear, this date needed to end soon, she thought, shifting a little away from Remus. She needed to stop before she either exposed herself or ruined Hestia’s life and marriage for good.

Remus meanwhile was nodding his head, thoughtful. Slowly he spoke, “I came to know about Greg. I wanted to attend his funeral, but I… somehow just felt it would to be too weird to attend the funeral of an ex girlfriend’s husband, especially as we weren’t on talking terms then. Plus I didn’t want to disturb the ceremony by my presence.”

Wait- Hestia was a widow?!

A smile crept back to Nymphadora’s face. She shifted closer to Remus again and held his hand. He seemed taken aback at first but after a moment he smiled at her.

“I appreciate it. You should have totally attended though. Forget talking terms, I could have used a friend.”

He squeezed her fingers lightly, his warm smile giving rise to butterflies in her tummy. “Of course. Irrespective of what happened between us, we will always be friends first.”

*********

As the first stars of the night started peaking out, Remus and Nymphadora-Hestia made their way to the Hog’s Head.

“Here?” Nymphadora made a face at the inn which was strongly smelling of goat.

Remus laughed. “I’m sorry, but Hogsmeade is overpacked with my students from Hogwarts. This is the only place which is likely to be a little empty, and where we’re likely to get a little privacy.”

“Oh, okay.” Nymphadora brightened up and went inside. Remus smiled at the old bearded gentleman behind the counter, and she did too. They sat in one of the smaller tables in the corner which was partially shrouded from the rest of the room by a curtain of beads, and ordered a Firewhisky each.

“Remember the last time we were here?” Remus laughed. “You were so put off that I’d bought you here - rather than the Whizzing Weezbees where you really wanted to go- that you made me vomit slugs for a whole night?”

She pretended to laugh.

“I actually did a lot of odd jobs to collect enough money to take you on a date there.” Remus smiled sadly. “But we broke up before I could take you.”

Nymphadora rolled her eyes. This Hestia woman was sounding more and more unlikeable by the minute. Not only had she dumped a perfectly sweet guy like Remus, it also had evidently been a bad breakup, and today she’d not even stopped to talk to him after coming across him so many years later. And now it seemed she’d been the gold digger sort. For a minute Nymphadora groaned at the thought of being stuck in her image, but then she looked at Remus and…

“We can go someday, if you’d like that.”

Remus eyes had shot up at her, he was now looking searchingly at her face, Nymphadora wondered if she’d blown her cover, if the real widowed Hestia wouldn’t have asked him out for a date…

After what seemed like a long tense minute, Remus smiled at her. “I would like that very much. Today has been amazing. It was nice to meet up with someone I really know, and someone who knows me back. I lost almost all of my people in the War. And even though a few people at Hogwarts were part of the Order it’s quite not the same now, you know. The rest don’t really understand. The only friend I run into sometimes is Mad Eye Moody, and he’s quite off the rocker now, having retired from the Auror department.”

Mad Eye Moody?- Nymphadora felt like laughing at the name more than anything else. Golly, what sort of friends did Remus have, and what sort of life did he have, where he had lost everyone he loved to the First Wizarding War?

How lonely must he be?

“It’s okay. You won’t be alone anymore,” she said, holding his hands again. “We’ll be together now.”

He was looking into her eyes now, his deep green eyes boring into hers, and he had an intense longing on his face. She smiled back nervously, drew a deep breath and raised her hand to push the black hair out of her eyes, but he brought his hand up and did it himself, pushing the tendrils delicately behind her ear. Slowly, he leaned in, a hesitant look on his face, as if waiting for her to stop him, but she didn’t.

Of course she didn’t. His intense gaze had her hypnotised and she was burning with curiosity. Would he…. was he planning to.. really.. or..

She felt his nose touch hers first, and then she felt his lips against hers, soft and warm and sending tingles down her spine and to the pit of her stomach. She saw him close his eyes and felt his lips move against hers- softly, tenderly- and her hand moved, as if in reflex, to clutch at his sweater, as she breathed in deeply.

He was kissing her! He was actually kissing her!

She did not have time to reflect on it though, he deepened the kiss then, his tongue caressing her lower lip lovingly, making her gasp and open her mouth, and his tongue collided with hers, sending the most wonderful sensations all over her, her nerve roots flaring out. Inwardly, she felt restless even as she kissed him back actively now- her lips and tongue moving in response to his- and she sought to combat her restlessness by placing her hands on his back, her nails digging in. He seemed to like it too, because he moaned and had now leaned over towards her, one hand in her hair, the other hand around her waist.

She moaned out loudly with pleasure and clutched him tight, giving her all to the kiss. This was better than anything she had ever seen in her dreams, she thought, as she ran a hand through his hair too, hoping for the wonderful sensations to never stop. The feel, the smell, the warmth, the touch, the whole aura of him was just so amazing!

“REMUS!”

A loud and familiar voice suddenly made them separate and turn their heads.

In front of them, Professor McGonagall stood next to Professor Flitwick, who had both hands on his mouth.

Both of them sprang up immediately from their seats. “Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, fancy running into you here.” Remus seemed to have quickly recovered and was trying his best to speak calmly, adjusting his jumper.

Both the professors however looked far from calm, and were looking from Remus to Nymphadora, shocked.

It was Professor McGonagall who found her tongue first.

“Remus,” she barked. “What are you doing here WITH A STUDENT?!!!!”

“Student?!” Remus turned to look at Nymphadora and then suddenly drew back, falling on his chair with shock writ large on his face, as if he’d seen a ghost.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT … WHERE’S HESTIA?”

Perplexed, Nymphadora quickly pulled her hair forward. It was no more black. She extended her hands, she was no longer wearing Hestia’s black gown or the numerous rings. She was back in her Hogwarts robes, and as herself.

Inwardly she groaned and smacked herself mentally- she must have lost control during the kiss and morphed back into herself.

So Remus had actually kissed her, and not Hestia?

The kiss… oh lord, the kiss! It had been so perfect!

She had just had a perfect first kiss from Remus! A large grin appeared on her face, and a sudden happiness erupted from within her, making her feel giddy. Wait till the girls at her class came to know! Wait till the whole school came to know! They would all be so jealous of her! Pancy wouldn’t be able to come out of the dormitory for a week, at least.

She looked up smiling, and found she was the only one in good spirits. Remus looked positively bewildered, his eyes darting anxiously from her to Professor McGonagall to Professor Flitwick. While the former looked very serious, the latter looked scandalised.

“Professor McGonagall, I wasn’t with her.” Remus spoke finally, in a voice she had never heard before. “I.. I was with Hestia… or I thought I was. You remember Hestia Jones, don’t you, my girlfriend during the First Wizarding War, she left me when she came to know I was a.. you know what..”

Professor McGonagall looked at Remus and then Nymphadora, who remained silent, too scared to speak.

“Hestia Jones- she was in the Order, Professor McGonagall..”

“I remember Hestia Jones very well, Remus,” Professor McGonagall said in a tart voice. “I, however, do not understand that if you were with Hestia, how is Nymphadora the one with you now. Were you with Hestia at all, in first place, or was it she all along?”

“I don’t know!” Remus was now at his wits end. “I don’t know. A minute ago, there was Hestia here. I was kissing her, and then… I don’t know how… you can ask Aberforth outside, I entered in with Hestia, he saw her with me…”

Professor McGonagall put up her hand to silence Remus.

“I think we should go to school. This is a serious matter. The Headmaster needs to know.”

Whatever colour was left on Remus’ face had now drained away.

“Professor McGonagall, you don’t think I would get involved with a student, do you..”

“Filius, would you drop Nymphadora at her dormitory and meet me in the Headmaster’s office with Pomona? I’ll be there with Remus.”

Professor Flitwick finally found his voice. “Of course Minerva!” He squeaked, and looked at Nymphadora. “Come on dear, let’s go back.”

*******

She dropped on her bed as soon as she reached her dorm.

His lips. Wonderfully soft, tender lips.

His tongue. His naughty, wicked tongue.

His hands. Oh his strong, large hands. What wouldn’t she give to have them on her again?

His lean, strong frame. The feel of his chest muscles under her hand.

She closed her eyes, playing the kiss again in her mind for the hundredth time. She probably would never tire of it.

The curtains round her bed opened suddenly and she felt the weight of people around her mattress. “Nymphadora, get up.”

“Don’t call her NYMPHADORA. She won’t reply.”

“I don’t care,” she said dreamily. “I don’t care about anything right now.”

She opened her eyes to see her friends peering anxiously at her. “Dora, what happened? Where were you?”

“We were watching you in The Three Broomsticks and then suddenly you were gone, and Mr. Lupin was gone too. Where did you go?”

“We were together,” Nymphadora replied. “Walked around Hogsmeade. Sat watching the owls fly, and talked and talked and talked. Then went to the Hog’s Head.”

“And…?”

“We kissed.”

“You kissed?! Oh no no, no way!!!!”

“You’re lying! No freaking way.”

“Whatever you want to believe.” Nymphadora said again dreamily. “I really don’t care anymore. I can still taste his tongue on my lips and that’s what matters to me. For your information, he tasted like coffee latte.”

“Oh my god it’s true! Dora you made out with a teacher!”

“You kissed Mr. Lupin!!! How was it, tell us how was it?”

“Heavenly,” replied Nymphadora, hugging her pillow to herself, her eyes closed. “Oh gosh I can’t stop picturing it in my head! I wish it hadn’t ended so soon!”

“Wait, why did it have to end?”

“Because they had to breathe, silly!”

Nymphadora laughed. “Yeah, obviously. But also because McGonagall and Flitwick played spoilsport.”

There was silence around the dormitory as the rest of the girls digested this. Finally Celestia spoke out again, “Dora what are you talking about?”

“It’s nothing.” Nymphadora said airily. “McGonagall and Flitwick saw us kissing in the Hog’s head. They’re probably planning a detention for me now for being out of Hogwarts beyond allotted time.”

“WHAT?!”

“It’s okay, I don’t care. The kiss was worth it.” She chuckled.

“No but Dora, don’t you realise?” Hilary said with a horrified look on her face. “You’re underage! UNDERAGE!”

“So what?! A lot of people date around before 17…”

“But they don’t go around dating teachers! Dora, Mr. Lupin got caught kissing an underage student! This is going to have very serious repercussions, not for you, but for him!”

“Don’t be silly. They can’t just punish teachers for a kiss by mutual consent.”

“Of course they aren’t going to ‘just’ punish him Dora! They’re going to FIRE him! Getting involved with an underage student is a serious offence and it’s going to be on his permanent record! He’s never going to be able to get a teaching job anywhere in future!”

Nymphadora sat up suddenly in bed. She had not thought about that at all.

“They.. they can’t do that to him.” She stammered. “He’s a brilliant teacher and he loves teaching so much. This is going to break him!”

“They’re not going to think of all that Dora. No one from the school board, the governors or even the students will stand for him once the matter comes out in the open.”

“But that… that’s not fair.” She whispered. “He didn’t know it was an underage student. He thought it was his ex-girlfriend Hestia!”

“So you tricked him?”

Nymphadora went red. She didn’t want to admit in front of her friends that she hadn’t been able to fulfill the dare given to her. “No, not exactly. When we were kissing, it was me, not Hestia. It was not my fault his eyes were closed. I didn’t trick anybody. And it was by my consent.”

“It doesn’t matter now who tricked who,” Pansy said clearly, having joined the group. “You’re underage. Even if this was mutual he’ll be the one charged for manipulation and misusing a position of authority and trust. They’ll probably involve the higher authority or Wizengamot in this too. Whatever the truth might be, Mr. Lupin’s fate is now sealed.”

Nymphadora looked around at the girls, half of whom were now looking at her with shock and the rest seemed upset about the fate of their favourite Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

“Great,” Celestia remarked dejectedly. “Another DADA teacher bites the dust. This post is seriously jinxed.”

“Yeah. Guess it’s over for Lupin.”

“No!” Nymphadora suddenly spoke out aloud. “It’s not over. Not yet.”

And she strode out of the dormitory.

***********

Inspite of the lateness of the hour, the Headmaster’s office was not just brightly lit, but also full. As Nymphadora stepped into the office, she could see not just McGonagall, Remus and Flitwick, but also her Head of House Pomona Sprout and Professor Snape. (Ugh, why was Snape here?!)

Not to forget, Professor Dumbledore. He was seated on his table, listening to Remus who sat in front of him, giving an account of his version of what had happened.

“I swear, it was Hestia,” Remus was saying. “I spent all evening with her and then when I went to the Hog’s Head it was still her. But then when I opened my eyes from the kiss I suddenly saw that she had turned to Nymphadora! I don’t know how it happened, maybe there was something in that Firewhisky, maybe Hestia used polyjuice potion just prior to the kiss or, maybe someone played a trick on Nymphadora- made her drink something and imperiused her, or maybe someone imperiused me to believe it was Hestia- but I swear I was not out there with a student! I have never even looked at her that way! There’s nothing going on between us. This is someone playing a very nasty trick to get me thrown out of Hogwarts, again!”

He threw a dirty look at Snape, who just rolled his eyes. “As if I need tricks to get you thrown out of this place.” Snape murmured. “The truth would suffice, Lupin.”

“Of course, you’d love to throw me out, wouldn’t you…”

“Remus,” Professor Dumbledore said warningly, and Remus fell back onto his seat. “I have nothing more to say Sir. That was my side of the story.”

“A fantastic story,” drawled out Snape. “But then again, when has Remus ever lagged behind in spinning yarns, or breaking the rules? Everyone here knows his track record…”

“Severus,” Professor Dumbledore started.

“I’m merely pointing to the fact that this attendance sheet says that the girl attends eight out of ten classes he takes currently, has been given a straight A in all her recent papers, and might I say, is often seen dropping Remus’ books to the staff room, and yet he claims…”

“She likes the subject. And I like her as a student, because she is sincere, hardworking and devoted.” Remus said crossly. “Contrary to your beliefs, some teachers do actually try to ENCOURAGE their students rather than BULLY them!”

“Why you…”

“Nymphadora!” Professor Dumbledore uttered suddenly, and everyone turned to look at her standing meekly at the door of the office. “Please come in.”

“Nymphadora,” Remus spoke, “You shouldn’t be here. Go back, I’ll handle this.”

“Professor don’t you think we should..” McGonagall hesitantly started. Dumbledore shushed her up immediately.

“No Minerva, I think she should have a say in the matter. Yes dear, please come in.” Nymphadora walked slowly upto the Headmaster’s table and stood meekly. Dumbledore cleared his throat and started speaking again.

“Professor Mcgonagall and Remus have just given me their own versions of the story, and I’m currently trying to figure out which version is true. Do you have something to say too?”

“Yes.” Nymphadora said, sounding bolder than she felt. “Both the stories are true. What you saw today, none of it was Remus.. Mr. Lupin’s fault. And neither is Professor McGonagall wrong. It… it’s all my fault.”

“Nymphadora…”

“I was with him all evening… as his ex girlfriend Hestia. And he was totally unaware of it. He thought he was kissing her, and he didn’t notice it was me until he opened his eyes later and saw me.”

“Nymphadora,” Remus spoke seriously. “There is no need for you to take the whole thing on your head… Professor, somebody has clearly imperiused her.. I suspect dark arts in all of this…”

He looked at Snape again, warily, who only shrugged. ‘As if I would waste my time on imperiusing her.’ Snape murmured.

“Wait wait wait let her continue speaking Remus, Severus,” Dumbledore interrupted him. “Please go on Nymphadora.”

Remus interrupted again.

“But sir, she’s a child! Surely you cannot believe she would have done something sinister like that?! I know her very well. She does not know dark arts. She is neither the sort to harm someone this way nor does she have the level of transfiguration skill to make herself look like someone else….”

And then, in front of his eyes, the body of Nymphadora suddenly transformed with a flurry back into Hestia, and Remus almost leapt up in horror. For a few moments, he seemed shocked for words, but then he found his tongue when she transformed back into herself. “How did you…”

He looked at Dumbledore, who was now smiling victoriously as if he had been proven right.

“I’m sure you know the girl very well Remus, being her favourite teacher and all that, but I, and the rest of the permanent staff know a few things about her that you, having recently joined and been here for hardly a few weeks, might not be knowing.” Dumbledore took a deep breath. “Nymphadora Tonks is a metamorphmagus.”

Silence reigned in the room for a few long moments.

“A what?”

“It means she can change her appearance as per her will.” Dumbledore explained. “Metamorphmagi are extremely rare. I have myself come across only two in my lifetime, one of which is Nymphadora Tonks, who, may I remind you Minerva, has been known to impersonate members of the staff many times as a practical joke.”

“So you deliberately changed your appearance this time to trick Remus?” McGonagall was now shouting at Nymphadora. “What sort of stupid joke is this?”

Flitwick joined in, less angry but equally serious. “Nymphadora, if this was a trick, do you understand Remus could have got thrown out because of your stupidity? Was that what you were aiming for?”

“Wait, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. She came here herself after all. Give the girl space to breath. Dora, do you understand what you are saying?” Pomona Sprout asked carefully, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Child, you don’t need to be afraid. We are with you. Nobody will expel you or threaten you or speak ill of you. Nothing leaves this room. Tell me if someone has being manipulating you, asking you to impersonate others so they could spend time with you outside of school…”

“No, no,” Nymphadora shook her head vehemently. “Remus had no hand in this. He probably didn’t even know I could morph. This was all my doing. And it certainly wasn’t a practical joke or me trying to trick him or get him thrown out- he’s my favourite teacher, why would I do that to him? I just… this evening I saw that girl Hestia in The Three Broomsticks giving him the cold shoulder when he just as much as said Hi to her, and I didn’t like it one bit. He seemed really upset over her behaviour and I just…. I morphed into her and went to meet him hoping to make him a little happy. We had a walk around Hogsmeade, that’s it. I had no idea it would ACTUALLY go in this direction.”

“You had no idea?”

“Nymphadora, what are you…”

“What an innocent girl.” Snape said sarcastically, looking bored. “She spent close to two hours with him ‘trying to make him happy’ and she had ‘no idea’ where this was leading to. What an innocent, selfless girl, so concerned about her teacher’s feelings!”

“I’m not lying.” Nymphadora insisted, noting that everybody but Dumbledore had a look of disbelief. “If you want proof of my story just get any of my school books and you’ll find the truth for yourself.”

This seemed to be the opening Dumbledore had been waiting for. He pointed his wand at the window,  and a book came flying into his hand. He opened the very last page to find a doodling on the back cover, a few words written in a fancy handwriting inside a large red heart: Tonks <3 Lupin

A collective gasp rang out round the room.

“Nymphadora,” barked Professor Sprout. “Explain yourself!”

“There is hardly anything left to explain anymore.” Professor McGonagall said stiffly. “I’m sorry Remus. No offence, I was just trying to protect a child.”

“None taken,” said Remus in a steely voice. He was still looking at the doodling on the back cover and there were clouds of anger on his face.. “You’re certainly not the one I should be mad at.”

Nymphadora’s eyes widened- she had never ever seen him so angry before. “Remus…”

“Mr. Lupin.” He corrected sternly and threw the open book at her feet, making her jump. “Explain this rubbish.”

Nymphadora gulped. The teachers were all staring down at her now, and for the first time that she’d entered the room she wished the ground would open up and swallow her.

“EXPLAIN!”

“I.. er.. I like you, Sir.. a lot...”

She waited for his reaction, watching him closely. For a few moments, he just appeared shell shocked but then he turned away, one hand in his hair and muttering swear words under his breath, the rest of the teachers looking at the ground or around the room uncomfortably. Finally he turned.

“Since when…”

“Four weeks back, I think. When you took our first class…”

“So all your sincerity, extra classes, all that interest in DADA was just because you have a crush on me?”

“No,” Nymphadora replied, a little hurt that he would consider her so shallow or call her feelings a mere crush. “I like your teaching too. But yeah, getting to ogle at you was a big incentive.”

“So what exactly were you trying to achieve this evening by impersonating Hestia? Trick me to sleep with you?!”

“Remus!!!” McGonagall shouted. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“I’m not being ridiculous! This is what might have happened if you hadn’t come there in time. Merlin, this crafty girl tricked me!”

“No, no, I wasn’t trying to trick you,” said Nymphadora, on the verge of tears now. “I actually hadn’t expected anything like this to happen at all. I didn’t know anything about Hestia to think you’d want to get back with her, I didn’t even know whether she was married or widowed. I did not plan this!”

“Then why the hell did you not back out? Why didn’t you push me off you? I gave you.. Hestia.. plenty of time…”

“I didn’t realise you were really going to kiss me!”

Remus only scoffed in reply.

“I’m not lying. I really didn’t know. I don’t have any experience with this sort of thing.  I didn’t even know things moved so fast on first dates.”

Her statement caused Remus to look back at her suddenly, and her to gulp in nervousness.

“Please,” he implored, stressing on every word. “PLEASE say that this is not your first time with a guy.”

She shifted her feet on the ground restlessly, not looking up. “Well….”

“I’m your first kiss EVER?!”

The tone of his voice told her she better not look up.

“OH MY GOD!” He sank down dramatically on a chair, both his hands covering his face. “I’m her first kiss EVER!! I’ve ruined it for the child!”

“I’m not a child!” Nymphadora snapped back immediately. “I turn seventeen in a few days. And you didn’t ruin it, it was a very good kiss. I quite enjoyed it. In fact I got so lost in it that I messed up my morphing.”

If that was supposed to make Remus feel better, it clearly failed. Mortified, he shook his head, muttering to himself. “I made out with my underage student! I’m the worst teacher ever!”

In the background, Snape sniggered.

“No, no, you’re the best teacher ever!” Nymphadora protested. But Remus wasn’t listening to her anymore, he looked so defeated that her heart welled up with sorrow and she looked at the ground helplessly, watching the tears fall out of her eyes and make dark dots on the carpet. What had she done?!

A few moments of silence passed, and then Dumbledore’s amused voice broke in. “Am I the only one who can see the humour in this situation?”

The glares of the rest of the teachers settled on him. Snape cleared his throat.

“No, I can see the humour too, though it’s more of the kind that makes me want to poke  a finger deep in my eye, roll it in my eyeball and pull the whole thing out, rather than laugh.”

“In that case, Severus, I think I’ll excuse you for the night, I don’t want your mangled eyeball on my carpet.” Dumbledore chuckled as Snape prepared to leave. “I had an inkling of what had happened behind the scenes- years of understanding students, Remus’ history, and Nymphadora’s own special qualities helped me put two and two together- and thanks to Nymphadora’s testimony I have been proven right. There’s been no shady child abuse or manipulation, no wicked implication and certainly no imperius-ing or dark magic, I don’t think a staff meeting or vote will be required any more. This seems like a fairly straightforward matter. Pomona, as the Hufflepuff house head, I want you to stay, but Filius, you can leave. Goodnight.”

With a guilty inquisitive look, Filius Flitwick disappeared behind Snape.

Dumbledore turned to Remus who still looked as if someone had died.

“I don’t understand why you’re still moping Remus.” He said lightly. “I thought you would be relieved that your teaching career has just got a new lease of life.”

“I’m never going back to teaching again,” Remus shook his head, still looking dejected. “I’m a horrible, horrible teacher. I kissed my underage student who had romantic feelings for me all along. I cannot believe I never noticed… the signs were all there in front of me… now that I think of it, I actually encouraged her…”

“Oh lighten up, Remus.” Dumbledore flailed his arm easily. “So the girl fancies you. It’s okay. It’s understandable. She’s sixteen, and just at the age when hormones kick in and these students start discovering new things about their bodies and their emotions. Developing romantic feelings for someone whom they’re fascinated by and spend a lot of time with is but natural for them. Considering this school is filled with oldies like me, I’d say that you, as the only young and ‘cool’ teacher, had it coming. This might be your first experience but I have seen a lot many such students and a lot many such stories over the years, although I have to admit, this is the first one in which a teacher successfully got hoodwinked by the student! To that I say- serves you right! You and your little gang of mischief makers were notorious in your own day.”

Remus looked shocked. “But we never went to THIS extent! We knew our boundaries! We never tricked any teacher this way!”

“Really, Remus?” McGonagall spoke up in a tart voice. “Do you really want me to start pulling out old files of the scandals your best friends James and Sirius have caused in this school, and which you, the Gryffindor prefect, chose to turn a blind eye to?”

Remus opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it, knowing it was a lost cause.

“I agree that this time it did go a little overboard,” Dumbledore nodded. “But Remus, surely you can see that the girl meant no harm? On the contrary she seems to hold you in high regard. I mean, think about it… eight out of ten classes? Straight A’s in all your papers? She’s quite obviously not just worked hard at your subject, but she also appreciates you as a teacher, and as a person. She wanted to cheer you up earlier this evening when a prejudiced twat hurt your feelings and now she came out here to protect you. You should feel flattered.”

“I don’t feel flattered. I feel sick. And ‘a little’ overboard? That was not a little overboard! That was way, way…”

“Oh Remus.” Dumbledore shook his head and sat down on his table again. “Let me tell you something that you need to understand if you seriously intend to take up a teaching career in the future- children, will be children, and adolescents, in particular, are more complicated than you can ever imagine. They will make mistakes, they will be idiots, they will be impulsive and their emotions will be all over the place. Don’t judge them for it, learn to accept them that way and roll with it to help them bring out their potential. Shouting at them and forcing them to behave the way you want them to won’t help. Don’t forget that you weren’t dissimilar when you were a kid yourself. All of us have had a crush on a teacher at some point and all of us have been idiots too.” 

“But I…”

“You were an idiot and a mischief maker who inspite of all his kindness and righteousness could never stop his friends from bullying others and yet I made you Prefect, Remus Lupin.”

Remus fell silent.

“Right. Now that that’s settled, we come to you.”

Dumbledore turned to Nymphadora, who looked up into his kind blue eyes, her own eyes full of tears. He smiled kindly at her.

“I believe you Nymphadora, that you meant no harm.”

A tear rolled out of her eye and on her cheek, and with it, with Dumbledore’s words, it felt like a boulder had rolled off her heart. She felt much lighter and tried to smile. “Thank you sir.”

“However, my dear, you must understand that you have committed grave mistakes today. You have a rare magical ability which can be used for good as well as evil. Today, by using your ability recklessly you have hurt your teacher, not only by unintentionally sending his morals and ethics for a toss but also by rekindling, and later abruptly extinguishing embers of his feelings towards what was clearly a long lost cause.”

Nymphadora nodded. She had been thinking of the same thing herself- she had raised Remus’ hopes for nothing. He must be even more disappointed about Hestia now than before.

“With great power, comes great responsibilities. In the future, Nymphadora, every time before you morph, I want you to think about the possible consequences of changing your form to resemble someone else, and whether it is really worth it. Today it was definitely not worth it. I understand you were trying to make Remus happy, but Magic, no matter how wondrous it seems, cannot create happiness, or even love, always remember that. People have tried, and failed. I respect your feelings for Remus, dear, but for him the whole idea is highly inappropriate. No amount of magic or convincing will be able to change that, and you have to accept it with dignity like the adult you claim to be.”

Nymphadora, very red now, nodded quietly.

“All the same, I cannot deny, none of us can deny that you have shown incredible bravery and character tonight. It was not easy for you to march down to a room full of your teachers who were likely to misunderstand you and judge you and scoff at you, and yet you had the gall to come down and tell your truth, confess to your mistake, all so that an innocent would not pay the price of it. I’m very proud of you, Nymphadora Tonks.”

Nymphadora was so overwhelmed with emotion that she could barely speak for a few long moments. Wiping her tears on the back of her palm, she tried to mumble what seemed like a teary thank you to Dumbledore.

“That does not, however, mean you will not be getting punishment.”

She nodded. “I have realised my mistake sir, and I will take whatever punishment you deem fit.”

“Very good,” said Dumbledore approvingly, smiling at her. “Remus, have you come up with something yet?”

“What, me?” Remus seemed alarmed at the thought. “I’m not going to spend detention with this girl. It would be like giving her what she wanted in first place - a chance to sit and ogle at me!”

“Remus… come on now!”

“No, I’m sorry.” Remus got up from his seat agitatedly. “The only punishment I can think of is to not let her attend my classes anymore.”

“And I will not allow that, of course.” Dumbledore said sternly. “On no account is the girl to be kept away from her education. Pomona, since you are her Head, I entrust you the responsibility to think of a suitable punishment for her.”

Pomona Sprout nodded gravely and turned to Nymphadora. “For the next four weeks, you will spend two hours every evening after school helping me in the greenhouses. There will be no Hogsmeade, no Quidditch, and no parties.”

“No parties?! But I turn seventeen next month!”

“I guess we’ll have to celebrate your birthday in Greenhouse number 17 then.”

“Merlin’s pants!” Nymphadora muttered under her breath. From the corner of her eyes, she could see Remus sniggering. “Serves you right!”

She scowled at him and he scowled back at her.

Dumbledore too seemed to be trying to hold back a smile. “Alright, it’s time for all of you to go back to your rooms now, and Remus, I highly recommend you either taking a Calming Drought from the infirmary, or coming back to my chambers for a glass of Firewhisky. Minerva, and Pomona, you too.”

Remus nodded and with a last defiant look at Nymphadora, all of them left with Dumbledore.

Nymphadora turned too, dragging her feet as she walked back to her room. Four weeks of additional Herbology work! That too in the sun and the mud and getting hands dirty! No Quidditch! No Hogsmeade! No parties! Her seventeenth birthday would probably be her worst birthday ever, she groaned as she entered her dorm.

But as she lay down on her bed, all she could really think of was not the punishment starting tomorrow- but the angry sullen look on the face of the man she loved.

Remus.

Tears and humiliation stung as she remembered how he’d said he didn’t feel flattered, rather he felt sick. She closed her eyes tight as she pictured the look on his face when he’d said he didn’t want her to attend his classes anymore. She almost sobbed into her pillow as she remembered him called her doodling rubbish and his angry parting look.

Over the past few days, she’d imagined quite a few scenarios that could play out when she declared her love to Remus. But what had happened today was nothing like she had ever imagined.

How had it gone so wrong?

*******

Greenhouse number 5 had to be the absolute worst one, Nymphadora decided.

Not that the other greenhouses didn’t have their own share of annoying plants and mud and moisture and sun, but the mandrakes in greenhouse 5 were an utter and complete menace. They screamed and yelled all day long and no matter how fast she potted them, it was never fast enough. The worst thing was that her ear muffs kept slipping as she worked- she was pretty certain that by the end of four weeks she would go deaf.

She groaned for the umpteenth time that day. 24 whole days more!

“Faster Nymphadora!” She heard Professor Sprout call out. She was moving a massive venomous tentacula across the greenhouse, taking care not to let it capture her. “You’ve got to move to the Snargaluff pods next.”

“Yes Madam Sprout,” she said slowly. She somehow managed to get done with the mandrakes and took out her ear muffs as she moved to the Snargaluff pods. The surrounding voices and gush of water seemed welcome now, and Madam Sprout could be heard chatting merrily with someone.

“Yes, detention is going well, Nymphadora has been working very hard.”

“I can see that.”

Goosebumps arose on Nymphadora’s skin as she heard the voice. It couldn’t be him, could it?

She looked up over her work table and beyond the cover of plants. Indeed, it was Remus, dressed today in a simple white button down shirt and trousers, talking with Madam Sprout. She held her breath to listen to the conversation.

“I feel quite guilty really, that you’re having to spend extra time with her because I refused to take her detention.”

So he felt bad for Madam Sprout, but not for her? Git!

“It’s quite alright Remus, I can understand your reasons and I agree that the girl be kept away from you for a bit. And to be honest, I’m quite relieved Dumbledore asked me to decide her punishment, because if he’d asked Minerva, she would definitely have deducted a lot of Hufflepuff points!” Professor Sprout laughed, even as Nymphadora, hidden in her work corner, groaned in frustration. Taking away house points would have been so much better than four weeks of this hell.

“Tell you what,” Remus said, “Go take a break. I’ll supervise her work.”

“Are you sure, Remus?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” He said coolly.

“Oh well,” Professor Sprout started removing her work coat and hat. “I reckon I’ll go have a cup of tea then, and try to catch a short nap. Thank you so much Remus.”

“No problem at all. Take your time.”

Still working on extracting her Snargaluff pods, Nymphadora could now hear Professor Sprout’s footsteps as she left the greenhouse. Then she heard carefree whistling and and a second step of footsteps coming in her direction. Her heart beat rapidly, but she didn’t dare look up. Not until he was standing close enough that his shadow fell on her pods.

She heard his voice then- just as calm and warm as always:

“Fancy a butterbeer?”

She looked up in shock. He was grinning at her, his face good natured as always with just a hint of mischief.

“I… I…” she stammered. “I’m in detention.”

“Yeah. But the one who’s set you detention is on a break. You can take a break too, I guess. Anyway, I’m in charge right now, and I say we should definitely take a break. You look tired.”

She looked more than just tired. She looked dirty, with mud on her clothes and her face. Even her apron which had been spotless at the beginning of detention had something like dragon dung on it (a consequence, no wonder, of tripping over the fertiliser sack) and her hair was astray. In front of him-who was looking so neat and clean- she felt like a despicable slob, and wondered if she should morph into her clean self, but then decided it wasn’t worth it to remind him of the other day. So she quietly got up, took off her apron, washed her hands and face and accompanied him outside the greenhouse. He’d bought two bottles of butterbeer, and they sat on the stumps of trees, drinking quietly.

The cool breeze, the butterbeer and the break from the musty, humid greenhouse raised Nymphadora’s spirits considerably. She looked up at him inquisitively, even as he stared back at her, his eyes dancing with mischief. Finally, he spoke first.

“You must be wondering why I’m here.”

She nodded.

“Well, let’s just say it took four days for me to see the humour in the situation.”

“The humour…”

“You heard what Dumbledore said the other day.” Remus shrugged. “My friends, if they were alive today, would have thought it was HILARIOUS that I not just got hoodwinked by a student crushing on me, but willingly gave her what she wanted, but would have never dared to do herself, in first place. On top of it, a brilliant impersonation! Sirius in particular would have had a fit laughing at my horrified overreaction the other day. In retrospect, I think that day I should have given you a detention, laughed it off in my head and ended the matter then and there rather than behave in the dramatic way I did and trouble myself to sleep for three whole nights. It took me some time to acknowledge it, obviously, as I was the one on the receiving end of the joke.”

A small smile crept on Nymphadora’s face.

“Don’t think that I’m letting you off the hook entirely.” Remus added quickly. “It was dangerous and disrespectful all the same. Things could have gone very wrong, and you deserve your punishment. But after my initial reaction, I finally calmed down and thought it over, and I decided that just like you, I hadn’t handled the situation very well myself. You’re a child, (Nymphadora scowled at this) but I’m an adult and your teacher. I should have handled it better. So, I’m here to correct my mistake.”

“Correct your mistake?”

“Yes.” Remus took a deep breath. “I was too angry that day to listen to you. All I did was lash out. Today, I’ll stay silent and you can say all that you wanted to say that day.”

She nodded. “Right. Thankyou.” She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, for… everything.”

His eyes twinkled. “Really? Are you? I was under the impression you quite enjoyed it.”

She shifted uncomfortably. “Well, yes, at that moment I did, but I felt horrible later, when I came to know how upset you were about it. I hated it that you thought I’d taken advantage of your gullibility or tricked you when that was the farthest thing from my mind. Believe me, I didn’t plan it that way, even though I’ve dreamt of kissing you lots of times.”

She suddenly went very red and put both her hands on her mouth. Fearfully, she looked up at him.

He was grinning.

Grinning?!

“Now we’re on to something.” He chuckled. “Go on.”

“Wait, you’re not mad at me?”

“Not at all. In fact, that’s what I came here for.” He cleared his throat and took a look at his battered watch, its hands just somehow managing to tick along. “I’m giving you ten minutes. You can say whatever you want to say to me.”

“Whatever I want to say to you?”

“Yes, whatever,” Remus stressed on the whatever, “you want to say to me. I promise not to judge or get angry or shout.”

“Whatever,” Nymphadora mused, then added in a small voice. “Does ‘whatever’ include those things written at the back of my book? The things that you called rubbish?”

“Well, I should think it specifically pertains to those things written at the back of your book, which I should NOT have called rubbish.”

She looked up at him, alarmed, but his face was surprisingly calm.

So he had come there to talk about…

“Oh, okay,” Nymphadora sat up straight. She hadn’t really ever thought of how to go about her feelings for him, but he was giving her a chance now, and she would take it and try to set things right between them. She would have to tread very carefully though, and not set him off like the other day. “Umm.. I.. I kind of.. like you…”

“Kind of?”

“I like you.”

“Good. Carry on.”

Encouraged, Nymphadora started speaking more easily. “I like you since the first class you took. Everything about you. I love your voice, and the self assured, easy way you speak. I like how you smile at everyone, I swear it’s the best smile I’ve ever seen. I like how it puts a smile on my face as well and a butterfly in the pit of my stomach.”

Remus laughed, and she beamed- he wasn’t angry! She started speaking more excitedly now.

“You are seriously the coolest teacher we’ve ever had, everything you teach and do seems so effortless, you’re so funny, not stupid-funny, just smart-funny, and I like how you’re so nice to everyone, all the students in my class adore you. I like how you’re so kind to the weaker students and willing to help them catch up, I like how you encourage the smarter ones to push their boundaries. I like how you’re so brave and so confident and you always have a story to tell when you teach, and how your lessons are so interesting. I like your height- it’s perfect when you compare it to mine, like if I lean, I could rest my head exactly on your shoulder. I love your eyes- they’re so green!”

The green eyes now looked up at her, and she sucked in a breath. If she was going to do this, she’d better go all the way now.

“I dream of you, you know.” She confessed, almost in a whisper. “Of us being very close. Close like lovers. I’ve not dreamt that way about anyone else, ever. I can never tire of looking at you, or listening to you talk. I love how wonderful you smell. And when you kissed me that day, I.. I felt like it was the best thing in the world.”

He drew in a deep breath and exhaled. Next to him she gulped nervously.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

He nodded quietly.

She looked up at him defiantly and caught hold of his hand.

“I love you Remus. I love you with all my heart.”

Her heart was thudding away in her chest now and she knew her nails were digging into his hand but Remus did not flinch. This time there was no disgust or anger on his face, he was absolutely calm, as if prepared to hear it. He placed his other hand on top of hers and she looked at it, and then back at him again.

“Thank you,” he said slowly.

Wait. Thankyou? What was that supposed to mean? Was this good or bad?

“I don’t understand.” She confessed. “Is that a yes or a no?”

“It’s neither a yes nor a no,” Remus explained. “I’m not in the position to say yes or no to you. From my side, there can neither be an acceptance nor rejection of your feelings. I can just understand them. Love is precious, and acknowledging it, expressing it needs a lot of courage, so even if it comes from someone in the wrong place and the wrong time, it should be recognised and appreciated, not shunned.”

“What, what do you mean?”

“I respect your feelings for me. You have made me feel special Nymphadora, thank you for that. Thankyou for loving me.”

Her heart positively glowed. “You’re very welcome. So, do you love me too?”

He left her hands. “That’s the thing I’ve come here to discuss.”

“Please don’t say you’re still in love with Hestia…”

“What? No!” Remus shook his head as if the recollection was disturbing. “Hestia and I dated a long time back and it ended for reasons beyond our control. Those reasons still stand, and will stand till the day I die, so as far as I’m concerned it’s a closed chapter.”

“You still approached her that day though..” Nymphadora muttered.

“It was foolish of me.” Remus replied. “A desperate, lonely man’s dream. I guess I was just happy to see one of my old friends and ran for some company. I should have realised no good could come out of it. In retrospect, I should have suspected foul play at that moment itself when you came back to me as Hestia. She would never have come back, not even to say hi.”

“Wow.” Nymphadora raised an eyebrow. “That’s like the mother of bad breakups. What did you do to her?”

Remus smiled a sad smile. “Let’s just say she thinks I’m a monster.”

Nymphadora racked her brains trying to think whether the line was to be taken literally or metaphorically, but either ways it didn’t fit.

“I don’t understand.” She confessed.

“I didn’t expect you to.” Remus said dryly. “I have no intention of giving away all my secrets.”

“But I just gave away my biggest secret to you,” she insisted and he smiled at her.

“I respect that. I know it is not easy to confess your love to someone, risk making yourself vulnerable to heartbreak and rejection. I want you to know, that like Dumbledore, I also think you’re very brave.” Nymphadora beamed with happiness. “At the same time, I want you to understand that it is not possible for me to reciprocate your feelings.”

Her face fell instantly. “Why? You don’t think I’m pretty?”

“That’s not the point.”

“I can morph to look prettier, you know.”

“I know that. But you are pretty just as you are.”

She beamed happily again. Remus sighed

“Look, Nymphadora, there’s nothing lacking in you. You’re pretty, smart, and a good human being. But I’m your teacher. It’s disturbing, it’s morally wrong.”

“You said you’re not a teacher, only a substitute. More like a senior…”

“Nymphadora…”

“You even let me call you Remus, Remus!”

“Yes, I was just trying to be friendly, I had no idea it would backfire on me this way. Bear in mind that I’ve been teaching you just like a normal teacher though, and I’m THIRTEEN years elder to you. If I’d not had my own reasons for not taking a permanent job here, I would have been an official teacher. For all practical purposes, I AM your teacher. And Nymphadora, teachers are supposed to be PARENTAL figures in your life, especially here when you are in Hogwarts, so far away from home. There’s no way I can even think of a relationship with you. It’s…. ICKY. I’m sorry, but that’s what it is.”

Nymphadora considered his words thoughtfully.

“You don’t intend to work here permanently though, do you? You were a substitute teacher after all.”

“Yes, I don’t think Dumbledore can give me a permanent post here. Not under present circumstances.”

“So, you won’t be my teacher in a few months anyway…”

“Still icky.”

“Okay, I turn seventeen next month and…”

“Still icky.”

“Maybe we could keep in touch through correspondence? And a few months later we could meet again when it stops feeling icky?”

He looked up at her squarely.

“Nymphadora, you just don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“Honey, you’re not in love with me.”

Nymphadora was taken aback. “Well, no, I think I am.”

“Exactly. You THINK you are. That’s because this is the first time you’ve even had romantic feelings for anyone. You yourself told me you’ve never dreamt of anyone the way you’ve dreamt about me, didn’t you?”

“Yes but…”

“This is not ‘LOVE’ love. You are infatuated with me. In plain words, you have a crush on me.” Remus stated matter of factly. “And it’s okay, at this age, it happens with everyone. But it will fade out in a few days, so the matter of keeping in touch through correspondence, catching up when you’re out of Hogwarts or when it stops feeling icky, all of that holds no water. It’s a crush, it’ll be gone just as suddenly as it came. You’ll stop obsessing over me soon enough.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’ve gone through this. Everyone goes through this during puberty. I had a giant crush on a girl once when I was 15, I thought she was the love of my life, I dreamt of getting married to her. All of it ended abruptly when I came to know she had a slug for a pet and bathed only once in five days.”

Nymphadora tried to hide a giggle, and Remus grinned victoriously.

“See? It sounds so stupid right? But this is what teenage ‘love’ is like! I’m telling you, you think you’re in love with me and you’ll die without me, but the truth is you’ll get over me as soon as I have left the school. Wait and watch.”

Nymphadora pondered on all that he had said.

“Fine, you know what a crush is like. But how do you know true love isn’t like this?” She insisted. “Have you ever been in love with someone? Or has someone been in love with you?” Before he could reply, she spoke again quickly. “Please don’t say Hestia.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Wow, Hestia really seems to have cast an impression.”

“I didn’t like her, to be honest. She came across as a bitch.” She looked up in alarm at Remus who was frowning. “I’m sorry, I know you like her…”

“It’s okay,” he said, and looked away. “I’m over her, I told you. And in answer to your question, honestly, I don’t know what being in love is like. I haven’t been in love before, and I don’t think any one’s ever truly been in love with me either, though I like to think Hestia and I came pretty close at it. But I’ve seen my friends in love, I’ve seen my parents in love, and I know how happy they made each other. No matter how difficult things became, they were together and that was what mattered. I’d like to think true love is like that- unconditional, accepting, unchanging. Happiness of the highest kind. It’s not about what they give you but how you feel about yourself when you’re with them. True love would be that which makes you feel fulfilled and whole inspite of all the bitterness of your life and all the flaws you hold, and makes you love yourself a whole lot more, just because your soulmate thinks you’re so amazing.”

“Wow.” Nymphadora whispered, amazed.

“That’s just my idea though. I think everyone has their own subconscious idea of what love would be like for them, and that’s how they recognise it when they come across it.” He looked at her and smiled. “Ask your parents their love story, maybe they can explain better.”

“Well, I already know. They got married at 17 immediately after graduating from Hogwarts.” She grinned at him as he looked at her in shock. “I’m just following in their footsteps.”

“Okay, wait, no…”

“Course they were best friends from years 1-4 and dated for 3 years before getting married.”

Remus heaved a sigh of relief. “So they were childhood sweethearts who were together for SEVEN WHOLE YEARS before they got married. That’s not a crush. That’s absolutely not the same case as yours Nymphadora.”

“But I love you! It seems so unfair that my Mom’s feelings at 17 are considered valid, that you’d give that bitch Hestia a second chance but you won’t even give me one!”

“There’s no question of a second chance for Hestia. I told you, the reasons we broke up over hadn’t changed.”

“You’re lying. I was there when she walked into The Three Broomsticks, you yourself called her and tried to talk to her. And later, you kissed her, or me rather, because I said we would be together now on. I didn’t see you saying- No, thank you, get lost bitch!”

Remus was now quiet and looking down at his hands. Nymphadora sobered up- had she upset him?

“I’m sorry,” she said meekly.

“No , no.” He tried to smile. “You don’t need to be sorry. You’re right, but partially.”

“Partially?”

“I wasn’t really trying to get back with Hestia. I knew it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. For all I knew, it had been years, plus she’d lost her husband some time back, and all the reasons of our breakup- they were still there. When I saw her that day, I just wanted to talk to her… and get some closure.”

“Closure?”

“We never really had a breakup. Things were going great for us and then suddenly, one day we were supposed to meet and she never came. I was very scared at first, I thought she’d been killed by death eaters or something. But then I realised she wasn’t dead, she kept talking to everyone except me. She just stopped replying to my messages, and ignored me at Order meetings. Just cut me off.”

“She just cut you off?!”

“Yeah, just like that.”

“And yet you say she had a valid reason to break up with you?”

“Yes. The fact that she just abruptly cut off and avoided me like dragon pox was sufficient for me to guess why she’d broken off with me. I’d been expecting it to happen, honestly speaking. I wouldn’t have held it against her. But still, it would have been nice if she’d at least come broken off with me face to face and not made me feel so small. It hurts when the person in front doesn’t even give you a chance to say goodbye and end it properly.”

Nymphadora was silent now.

“I guess you have understood now why I came up here today.” Remus was now again smiling at her.

“To give me closure?”

“Yes. My job in Hogwarts is almost done, and I wanted to end this peacefully before I go.”

She gasped. “You’re leaving? When? Why?”

“I’m a substitute teacher. I was always supposed to leave. Your term ends in a few days, and next term you’ll have a new Professor for DADA.”

“But.. but I…”

“Is there anything else you want to say to me?”

She nodded, down in the dumps. “Call me bitter, but I don’t understand how you can justify Hestia’s reasons, whatever they might be. If she truly cared about you, no reason would have been strong enough to make her dump you that way.”

There was silence between both of them, and Nymphadora noticed that Remus looked very serious now. She lowered her voice. “I’m sorry. All I meant is that this isn’t the kind of unassuming, all embracing love you spoke to me about. Far from it. In fact, this isn’t even civil behaviour. She didn’t even treat you like a person!”

“That’s why I keep telling you you’re too young to understand all of this. Real life is complicated, and as adults you’ve got to make difficult decisions keeping in mind the bigger picture. Hestia did the same. If you were in her place, you’d have done the same.”

“No I wouldn’t!”

“Yes you would’ve. But that’s not the point. Try not to judge Hestia.”

“But isn’t love the biggest thing in the world?”

“Yes but it’s not the only thing in the world.”

“You keep contradicting yourself. I really don’t understand all of this.”

“That’s because you’re still a child Nymphadora.”

“Stop calling me a child! I turn 17 next month. 17! My Mom got married when she was 17, and you won’t even give me a chance!”

“Fine!” Remus said abruptly. “I accept. Let’s get married.”

“What?!” Nymphadora stood up in shock.

“Yes. You. Me. A month from now. Get a white dress, I’ll get some fake gold rings. We can get someone to marry us in Hogsmeade. Then we could live in the Hog’s Head for a month before we figure out where to live.”

“Where to live? What do you mean?”

“I don’t have a house. And they won’t keep me in Hogwarts. And you’ll probably be expelled too, cause you can’t attend school married and with a baby.”

“Baby?” Nymphadora squeaked, very horrified.

“Of course. I’m 29. All my friends have kids-some of them grown enough to attend Hogwarts in a year or two. I don’t want to wait at all now. We should have a baby immediately after marriage.” He pretended to think for a while. “We should have two babies. A boy, and then a girl. What do you think we should name them?”

“Names?” Nymphadora was now sweating profusely. “Baby names?”

“Of course! Boy first. Suggest a name for the boy.”

“Errr.. Teddy?”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“I don’t know, that’s what I call my stuffed bear I hug to sleep every night. It amuses me because my Dad’s name is Ted.”

“You sleep with a teddy bear? I thought you’re grown up!”

“I’m sixteen years eleven months old, that’s not totally grown up. And I don’t play with my bear, it just sits on my bed looking cute.”

“Good. You can’t spend time playing with teddy bears. You’ll have to work, you see.”

“But I don’t have a job!”

“So you’ll need to search for a job.”

“But how am I going to get a job without completing school first??”

There was silence now between both of them. Remus indicated Nymphadora to sit.

“NOW do you get my point?”

“Some of it. I’ve understood I’m not ready to get married right now. But I still love you Remus! Please wait for me to complete school!”

“Nymphadora, first things first- commit to memory for life, that if a guy is telling you to go against your wishes and beliefs for his selfish dreams- he’s the WRONG guy. Run, run far away from him, he’ll hurt you.”

Nymphadora nodded.

“Secondly, if he’s willing to jump with you in a relationship or in bed without even trying to know you- again, WRONG guy. Run away.”

She nodded again. “Since you’re concerned about my well being, I take it that you are the right guy?” She said in a small voice.

He smiled at her. “I care about you and your future more than you imagine, but that’s because I’m your teacher. I have taught you with all my heart, now I want to see what comes out of it. I’m kind of invested in your future now. Love is a difficult topic, it takes a lifetime to understand it. Take time out to figure out your feelings before jumping into something that cannot be undone. Try and understand whether you are in love with me or not. Your crush on me will vanish after I’m gone, but what I have taught you, that will stay with you forever. If it shapes your life in a constructive way tomorrow, then I will be part of your life in a forever kind of way, like Dumbledore is in mine. That is the bond we’ve created. It’s everlasting. You tell me which of these you value more- a crush which might or might not stay, OR our everlasting bond as a teacher and student.”

Nymphadora nodded, recognising the truth in his words.

“You’ll have a lifetime to determine whether or not you’re in love with me. But right now is the time to recognise and develop your potential, focus on your studies and your future. That’s what you’re in Hogwarts for. And from what I’ve noted, you’ve got plenty of potential. You could really go far if you put your mind to it.”

She looked up at him, surprised. “Really? You think so?”

“Of course. I talked to your Head about you, she said you did well in all your core subjects in your O.W.L.S. Even Potions! So it’s not just my classes you’ve put extra attention in. You’re a genuinely good student.”

“Well,” she grinned, “To be honest I did put more effort in your classes than I’d ever done in any class in any year of Hogwarts. And it was not just because I had a crush on you. It was because your classes are interesting and fun at the same time.”

“Well, thankyou. But really, your potential shone. You did well in all your assignments and tests with me. You did well in practical defensive magic too, even in the classes I took for N.E.W.T and Auror exam appearing batches.” A small frow appeared on his forehead, he appeared to be thinking deeply. “And you’re a metamorphmagus.”

“Yeah … so…?”

He looked up at her. “Nymphadora Tonks, you could be an Auror!”

“An Auror?”

“Yes! Aurors are highly trained law enforcement officials in the wizarding world. They’re supposed to investigate crimes against dark arts, detain or fight practitioners of the same.”

“People like You Know Who?”

“Yes, people like Voldemort.”

Nymphadora’s mouth hung open for a minute hearing the name from his lips (could he seriously be any more badass?! -she thought), but then she recovered and reflected on what he had just said. An Auror? She could remember her Head of House having spoken of it in passing during her career counselling last year but she hadn’t paid it much attention then- she’d outrightly said she wanted to do something cool after Hogwarts, like joining a Quidditch team or start a rock band or start her own line of magical Hair colour products . “And you think I’d be good at it?”

“Yes. You’re a metamorphmagus, that’s like a super useful ability in itself, especially when you’re spying. In addition to that, you’re good at DADA, good at duelling and defensive magic and good at all your core subjects. You’re courageous and you’ve shown strength of character. So the raw materials are all there. You just need focus, because they don’t just accept anyone to the Auror Training Programme, especially now that Mad Eye Moody’s heading it. They’ll want perfect N.E.W.T. scores, so you’ll have to work very very hard in your seventh year. Plus there’ll be an additional three years of studying and training after Hogwarts too.”

“More studies?” Her eyes were wide open now. Remus laughed.

“It isn’t an easy career path, I accept. But from what I’ve seen of you so far, I think you could consider it, and enjoy it too. It’s a dangerous but fulfilling job, and it’ll give you a chance to use your talents and your adrenaline in a constructive way.”

Nymphadora bit her lip. It did sound exciting to fight crime, to chase dark wizards and hunt them down. People had often told her that her mother’s side of the family had been full of death eaters, people who’d practiced dark arts- being an Auror would be a good way to shut them up. It would mean that her Dad, a muggleborn wizard, would never have to go into hiding again. She would be there to protect him.

But then what about her plans to start her own rock band?

She looked up at Remus hesitantly.

“Do you know any Aurors?”

“Lots. I worked with plenty of Aurors at one time.”

That perked her interest immediately. “You work with Aurors?”

“Not all the time.” He quickly added in. “Just that one time during the last wizarding war.”

“Okay, but you would work with Aurors again, right? Like if there’s another wizarding war…?”

He looked up in alarm. “Why would there be another wizarding war?”

“Hypothetically.”

“Don’t utter such things!”

“But still,” she persisted.

He had to relent. “Well yes, I guess so.”

She clapped her hands happily. “Alright! I’ll definitely give this thing a look then!”

“Great.” He got up, and she got up with him, alarmed.

“Where are you going?”

“Break is over. You have to get back to detention and I have to get back to grading papers.”

“But… but…” she started, “there’s so much I haven’t told you yet.”

“Save it for next time.”

“So will you come meet me again tomorrow?”

“No. But if you want more information on Aurors you can contact McGonagall. She will tell you how to apply for their training programme.”

“There’s time for that! We have got other more pressing affairs to discuss first!”

“Not much time,” he said firmly. He had started walking backwards now. “You’ll need to start preparing now if you seriously want to give Auror Training Programme a shot. The entrance exam is not easy. It’s a good thing though, it’ll get your mind off me.”

“What?! But I don’t want to forget you! Don’t you see it, I could be your one true love! Like my Mom is for my Dad! They got married at 17 and they’re still together!”

Remus stopped and smiled at her, shaking his head. She was really so stubborn.

“Honestly Nymphadora, I don’t know about you being my one true love, but if my words today help guide your life for the better then I’ll feel I’ve done my job as a teacher well. Years from now, I hope you will remember me not as the teacher you once shared a first kiss with, but rather as a teacher who inspired you to be an Auror.”

She smiled. “Of course. I’ve genuinely enjoyed all of your classes. I’ll always remember you as my favourite teacher.”

“Then look into the Training Programme.”

“I will.”

He smiled. “Good bye Nymphadora!” He turned and started walking away.

“Wait!”

She had run and caught up with him. “What now?”

“You said my Mom’s feelings for my Dad were acceptable because they’d been together for seven years.”

“Yes, so?”

“Well, what if this training programme doesn’t take my mind off you and I’m still in love with you seven years from now?”

Here we go again- Remus rolled his eyes mentally. He had no strength to go through the whole discussion again.

He turned back and faced her squarely.

“Nymphadora Tonks, seven years from now, if you’re still in love with me, I’ll marry you.”

Her mouth fell open in shock.

“You.. you’ll marry me?”

“Yes.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Yes.”

She was so happy that she could hardly believe it. “Awesome!” She exclaimed, and walked back the rest of the way to greenhouse 5 laughing and skipping.

It was a good thing she was not nearby to see him laugh his head off.

*********

The next time she met him, he was packing his stuff.

He looked ill, she noted. Dark circles had come up under his eyes and he moved slowly, deliberately. Hesitantly she walked in his office, clutching the package in her hands and he looked up at her, one eyebrow raised, the questions apparent on his face.

“Are you ill?” She asked in a small voice.

“No.” He answered shortly. “Just tired. Not getting much sleep lately.”

“Me neither.” She whispered, but he didn’t hear her. He was still going on even as he packed his few old and broken belongings into a large suitcase. “You shouldn’t be here right now- this is detention hour, is it not? You need to leave before anyone catches you here in my cabin. I really don’t want another enquiry on my last day here. I want to leave peacefully.”

“You needn’t worry. I took permission from Madam Sprout to see you.”

He stopped packing and turned.

“I’m not lying. I told her I wanted to say goodbye, and Madam Sprout understood and let me go. She was actually really nice about it.”

“Well, I think I pretty much said goodbye today to everyone, in class.”

“Yes, but I didn’t,” she said in a trembling voice, moving closer and he finally looked up at her face. Her eyes were full of tears, her nose and cheeks were red, and her previously bright pink hair was brown and mousy. He sighed.

“Let’s not do this again, please. Not today, of all days. I’m really hurting.”

“I’m hurting too.” She said, and a tear fell out of her eye. She wiped it away with her sleeve and sniffed. “You’re leaving today and I don’t know if and when and how I might ever see you again. You’ve even refused to give me your address. For all I know you’ll just forget me once you walk out of those gates, and that’s okay. But I want you to know that I will always remember you.”

“Nymphadora,” he started.

“I brought you a present.” She laid the neatly wrapped pink package at his desk, an intricate red floral bow gracing it. “Just something to remember me by. I hope you will like it.”

The sight of the present did nothing to soothe his mood. “Why?” He said irritatedly. “Why a present now? Why do you think I would ever want to remember any of… this?”

He looked up at her. She was frowning slightly, a few tears still glistening on her cheek. Trying hard to suppress his frustration, he massaged his head with his fingers for a minute before he opened his eyes again and looked back at her. She was still there, staring at him with her large brown eyes. He looked out of the window, dusk was starting to set in. In a few minutes, the moon would be out. Exhaling deeply, he turned back to her.

“Look, I cannot keep going over the whole of this again and again. Just say what you want to say and leave.”

“Can I write to you?”

He groaned, and her eyebrows furrowed again.

“Why the hell do you want to write to me?” He blasted irritatedly. “What are you expecting to achieve by writing to me? And what are you expecting to achieve by this?”

He pointed at the present on the table.

“I’m not expecting to achieve anything,” said Nymphadora. “I just.. no matter how hard I try, it’s impossible for me to forget everything… forget everything that happened between us…”

“Nothing happened between us.” Remus said firmly. “Put an end to this fairy tale romance in your head and start concentrating on your studies.”

“But Remus, I really do love you…”

He shrugged, continuing to pack his things.

“I mean it, Remus. And now I don’t know how I’m going to be able to deal with things without you there.”

“You’ll deal with them the same way you’ve dealt with them so long,” he said flatly. “And if your love for someone makes you so weak, then it probably wasn’t even love at all.”

“I’m not weak,” she said indignantly. “I’m not weak, and I’m not immature. In fact, I’m ready to wait for you… you’re the one who doesn’t want to give anything a chance… you’re the one who refuses to wait…”

“Yes I refuse to wait!” He blasted. “I’m not ready to sit and wait for you all these years only for you to reject me when you’re finally mature enough to understand the consequences of being with me! Just like Hestia did! Just like all of them did! Just like everyone always does!”

It was then that an irrational anger flared up within her and she scowled at him. It was one thing for him to refuse to be with her, but who was he to say it wasn’t love? Who was he to declare her feelings genuine or frivolous, or how long they would last, or that she would reject him in a few years time?

Who was he to compare her to Hestia, of all people?

“Fine,” she stamped her feet on the ground angrily. “Fine, I’ll leave and I’ll never trouble you again. And you can throw this present, the one I spent all my birthday pocket money on, by the way, in the Giant Lake as you walk out of Hogwarts. I’m not taking it back with me just so I can see it and cry over it.”

“Fine!” He said, shoving the present into his pocket in anger. “I’ll throw it away. Now leave!”

Lips trembling and tears running down her cheek, she somehow managed to get words out. “Fine! Goodbye!”

He did not reply. He busied himself in packing just as she ran away from the room, crying.

*********************

He went to the Hog’s Head the next morning, nodding slightly to Aberforth, the bartender as he limped in. Concerned, Aberforth immediately came forward and pulled out a chair for him, taking his suitcase from his hand and helping him sit down.

“Shrieking Shack again, then?”

“Yes.” Remus nodded. “Not as bad as it usually is, though I’m in no condition to apparate or use the floo right now. I’m going to need a bed at your inn today.”

“Of course.” Aberforth nodded. “But I think you should eat something first before you have your rest.” He was silent for a long while. “Plus, there’s someone here to meet you.”

Remus buried his hands into his face. “Oh god, not again! Aberforth, please tell her to leave!”

“Well actually…”

“Hello Remus.”

The dark haired girl he’d known a long time ago was suddenly back there standing in front of him, smiling serenely. For a moment, he could not believe it was her.

“Hestia?” He frowned slightly. “Wait, is it you again Nymphadora?”

He pointed his wand at her. “Revelio!”

Nothing happened.

Hestia raised an eyebrow. “Really, I would have thought you’d have asked a security question or something.”

He flushed. Embarassed, he put his wand down. Aberforth, looking at one from the other, disappeared, awkwardly mumbling about getting some coffee and toast. Hestia came and sat opposite Remus.

“How are you?”

“Good good,” he said awkwardly, rubbing his neck, wondering if there was a less obvious way to figure out whether this was really Hestia or just Nymphadora up to her tricks again. “How come you are here?”

“I came looking for you, and I felt Aberforth might know. We used to come here after all, and you were recently here, so…

Her cheeks went crimson suddenly, and an impish smile came up on her face. Remus groaned.

“So does the whole town know about my little misadventure now?”

Hestia chuckled. “No, but Aberforth’s friends do.” Remus shook his head, looking down at the table, and Hestia tugged at his hand. “Oh lighten up, you. It’s not the end of the world! It was actually kind of funny, to be honest!”

“Yeah go on, laugh at my tragedy. Does everyone not see it the same way I see it?” He wondered out aloud. “I made out with a student. In the list of top ten worst things one could do, this one is right at the top.”

“Fine,” she agreed. “It’s tragically funny. Happy now?”

He grunted back in reply, and she only laughed.

“Smile,” she said, giggling, “It won’t always go like that. Maybe next time you can actually find a seventeen year old to kiss.”

He glared at her, and she shut up at once.

“Why did you want to meet me?”

“Just… like that,” said Hestia, smiling. “Wanted to know how you were.”

“Oh well, truthfully, you couldn’t have picked a worse moment. My whole body hurts like hell and I broke something again last night I think, I’m just grateful it wasn’t my wand. My stint at Hogwarts ended yesterday so I’m back to job hunting. I also don’t have a place to live, so I will be here at Aberforth’s for the uncertain future.”

“Not looking too good then,” she nodded, then shifted hesitantly. “Though I’d say, you do have other places to stay at, you know.”

He looked up at her, eyebrows raised.

“Aberforth told me what exactly happened that day. You can live at my place till we figure things out.” She said quietly. “It won’t be a problem.”

Remus looked at her quietly for a few long moments, while she kept staring at her nails, not daring to look up at him. Finally, he spoke up:

“You weren’t even willing to talk to me in public for 2 minutes the other day. And now you’re inviting me home?”

“Yes, well,” she again looked away. “In public it gets a little difficult, you know… plus the real reason I ran away the other day, was because I was suddenly overwhelmed… I haven’t treated you well in the past and I felt guilty.”

She stopped speaking. He did not say anything either.

“I never stopped thinking about you. Not in a romantic sense, you know. I just hated the way I handled everything between us. I had every right to walk away from a relationship that I didn’t want, but I had no right to treat you so poorly, leave you with doubts about yourself. You didn’t deserve it.”

Aberforth came then and kept a coffee and some toast on the table between them. Hestia smiled courteously at him but he just gave her a grim nod and walked off. “Eat,” she said to Remus. “You must be hungry.”

Without caring for etiquettes for once, Remus started eating. In front of him, Hestia sat, watching him eat.

“I’m sorry Remus.”

He simply nodded and tried to smile back at her.

“When I met you recently, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It had been so long since Greg… and looking back in hindsight, I could just think how foolish I’d been. You were not the problem, I was. I was too scared to go after what I really wanted. I chose to go the safe route. Too often we go with the safe, calculated choice, not realising that everything doesn’t necessarily play out the way we imagine it in our heads. I never thought I’d be widowed so young. Well, I AM wiser now.”

Remus finally pushed his plate and mug away and looked up at her.

“If I’m not wrong, you have two children.”

“Yes.”

“And are you sure with making an ‘unsafe choice’ now? I mean, I’m sure you’re capable enough to handle me, but what about them?”

She did not say anything. Sighing, Remus held her hand.

“Hestia, thankyou for coming to see me and apologise to me. I admit, it gave me some much needed closure. But I am wiser too now, and the way I see it- nothing’s changed. Nothing CAN change. So it’s just better we go back to our lives now. It’s an unfair, prejudiced world, but it’s the only one we have. People are never going to accept me, and I’m not sure I want to burden you with my struggles, you have enough of your own. Plus, I can’t risk your children, I can’t be reckless. It would be too dangerous.”

She nodded quietly.

“All the same I’m very happy to see you,” he smiled at her and squeezed her hand. “It is always good to catch up with old friends.”

She smiled at him too. “Likewise. Although old friends also can’t resist asking some uncomfortable details of the shenanigans of your life. Like you kissing your student.”

He groaned again and she laughed. “I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

“Of course not! So learn to laugh at it!”

He let out a little chuckle. “Alright alright. She’s just a 16 year old who thinks she’s in love with me. She’s pure at heart though, and that’s why it’s difficult for me to be angry at her. At one point she was very insistent, and I was THIS close to telling her about my furry little problem in an attempt to dissuade her, but then stopped myself just in time. I ended up shouting at her though, which was not what I had intended- but apparently she’d ended up spending a lot of money on a present for me. When I refused to accept it, she got angry and asked me to throw it in the lake myself.”

“Did you?”

“I can’t just throw it, Hestia. She’s spent a lot of money on this and she’s given it to me with a lot of heart. Honestly I don’t know what to do with it.”

“You know Remus, you should have told her about your furry little problem.” Hestia said. “I’d have loved to know her answer. Whether it would have been different from mine.”

“Don’t be silly, Hestia, I’m not outing myself anytime soon. And let’s not forget that she’s a kid. She’s not equipped to make a decision, especially on something so big as this.”

“A few years later, then?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s ICKY! She’s my student!” He said, making a disgusted face and Hestia laughed out loud.

“I think it’s cute. Imagine, if you end up getting married to her, you’d have a wonderful story to tell your kids about how you met their mother!”

“I’m never going to tell this story to them!” He said in a horrified voice. “There is a once in a million chance of me ever meeting her again, and once in a billion chance of her still being in love with me and wanting to marry me, and once in a trillion chance of me ever agreeing to marry her, and once in a … I don’t know what comes after trillion… but a very minute chance that I’d have a child with her. But even if that happens, you can be rest assured I’m never going to tell the real story to them.”

“Then what are you going to tell them?” She laughed.

“I don’t know, I’ll probably make up something about how I was too poor, too old, too dangerous for their mother, and I asked her to forget me, but she loved me too much and still pursued me, and eventually I learned to look past everything, and we got married. Which is probably how it is going to happen anyway, if it ever does happen at all.”

“Awesome!” Laughed Hestia, clapping her hands. “That would make for a great story. I just hope that when it happens, I’m there to see it.”

Remus smiled a small, sad smile.

“You do realise, don’t you, that the odds of that happening, are like, next to none? Realistically, no body is ever going to fall in love with me AND accept me AND want a child with me AND be stubborn enough for me to change my mind.”

“You never know Remus.” She said, smiling as she got up. “Destiny works out in weird ways sometimes. If You-Know-Who, who killed millions, can get killed by his own Avada Kedavra  deflected by a 1 year old, I would say anything can happen.”

She waved him a little goodbye and he waved a goodbye back at her. As he sat watching her walk away, something about the situation seemed odd to her. He replayed their conversation in his head again.

You-know-who?

Seriously? Now even Hestia was scared of taking his name?

He looked up in horror suddenly, realizing what was happening.

“HEY!!!!”

Hestia turned back in astonishment at his loud yell. Remus had hurled himself out of his seat and was walking angrily towards her.

“What happened Remus?” She asked, looking a little confused.

He wanted to shout at her, tell her off for tricking him again, for using her abilities to impersonate others, for playing with others emotions in this way…

But none of it came out. For reasons that he could not understand, he could not give words to his anger. He could only remember the image of Hestia and that long awaited apology, and her confession that it was her fears, and not his own inadequacy, that had made her behave the way she had. And he could remember himself saying he had shouted at Nymphadora, and it was not how he’d wanted their last conversation to go.

“What happened Remus?” Hestia asked again.

He shook his head. “Nothing, you just called Voldemort You Know Who so…”

“Oh, times change, people change.” She said airily. “But I must leave now. My children are waiting. Take care Remus.”

He nodded. Hesitating a little, he stepped forward to give her a hug. “Goodbye… Hestia. Thankyou for helping me close a chapter that has rankled within me for way too long than it should have.”

He could feel her arms climbing up to his back, could feel her head on his chest, a small sniffle and a tremble passing through her. He separated from her then, and he could see that she had a small tear in a corner of her eye. Quietly she wiped it away and grinned broadly at him, a fond look in her dark eyes. She squeezed his hands.

“You’re very loveable. Don’t let idiots like me convince you otherwise. Take care.”

Saying this, she turned quickly and walked away. He watched her for as long as he could, waiting to see if she would morph back, but Hestia did not change form. Eventually she turned a corner and disappeared from sight.

He walked back to the Hog’s Head. From his pocket, he fished out the neatly wrapped present in his pocket. Quietly, he unfurled the bow and tore the wrapping paper to reveal its contents.

A pocket watch. A beautiful, ornate, brass pocket watch. The attached paper said it had been strengthened by a lot of unbreakable charms. He turned over the beautiful gift in his hands again and again, his heart filled to the brim with an unknown feeling he could not place. On the back of the watch, there were a few words:

“To my favourite teacher R J Lupin

With love, N Tonks.

PS- See you in seven years.”

In the middle of the street, Remus stood and laughed loudly to himself. Shaking his head, he could only marvel at the nerve, the innocent hope, the positivity of a sixteen year old. It had been so long since he had been sixteen, he’d forgotten how teenagers were.

And yet, right now, it seemed she wasn’t the only one who’d learned. He’d learned too, that miracles happened, even if not in the way you’d expect them to happen. You had unexpected people thrown in your path, and they sometimes changed the course of your life as you did theirs. They gave you closure, while you helped them set on a new path.

Truthfully, he was still not sure whether the person he had just had a long conversation with was Hestia or Nymphadora. But honestly, he did not want to know. Hestia was one in a long list of people who had been unfair to him over the years, and this was the first time one of them had actually acknowledged that they had been in the wrong and extended a hand of friendship and acceptance towards him. The apology today had given him a small hope that one day people might change their thinking towards him, see him as a human worthy of dignity, at the very least, and as long as he had that small spark of hope, he would continue to fight for his place in the world.

And if it was Nymphadora…

A smile came up on his face as he thought of her, of her thoughtfulness and kindness in wanting to give him a dignified ending to his broken relationship. Little did she know she had given him more than just that.

Or maybe she’d wanted to test whether he’d go back to Hestia?

He frowned a little as he considered the possibility, then shrugged to himself. “One thing is for certain,” he said, pocketing the watch, “at least she’s proved she’ll be a damn good Auror.”

With these words, he finally turned towards the Hog’s Head for a restful sleep.