Chapter 8
October 1, 1975
James
It’s been almost a month since Regulus got him in detention and James still hasn’t figured out how to confront him. He wonders if he should pull a prank but he doesn’t know how to explain it to Sirius or Peter. Technically, James could deal with it himself, but then it would be thrice as hard.
His classes are finally over, and there’s no Quidditch practice today, so he can allow himself to spend his free time however he wants. He decides that it’s time to plan his revenge.
Despite it being October, it’s still warm outside. James rests under the tree, enjoying the last rays of sunshine before the day loses its last colours. He’s got the marauder’s map this week, so he takes it out of his pocket and checks his friends’ locations.
Sirius and Peter are in the common room, most likely working on their Potions essays which are due Friday. Thank Merlin James has already finished his. Mary, Lily, and Marlene are hanging out together at their dorm, Lily sitting on Mary’s bed, meaning the girls finally made up after a week of not talking. Mary and Sirius, however, have been avoiding each other ever since the party on Friday. James asked Sirius what it was about but he lied to him, saying it was all because of the match. It’s not James’ business either way but it really upsets him to see his friends fight.
Before he realises it, his eyes are searching for the name Regulus Black. And, rather unsurprisingly, he’s in the library. James immediately swears he doesn’t stalk him. It’s all for the sake of knowing your enemy’s next move.
James wonders what kind of books Regulus prefers to read. Does he like muggle stories? Maybe poems? He seems to be the kind of person interested in something more applicable and more serious. He’s the best in his year, so it would be quite natural if Regulus’ favourite books were those on potions or dark creatures. Or maybe astronomy. Is he into Greek mythology? James has no idea.
All of a sudden a brilliant idea enters James’ mind. He quickly grabs his things, checks the map once more, and rushes to the library before he changes his mind. On his way there James takes his invisibility cloak out of his bag and throws it over himself. Opening the wood door as imperceptibly as he can, he starts looking for Regulus.
It doesn’t take James much time to locate him in the corner of the reading hall, his bag lying on the aisle. James grins, memorising Regulus’ (or rather his bag’s) whereabouts, and moves to the restricted section as quietly as a mouse.
He walks down the aisle, looking for something extra dark that could put Regulus in detention for a month, at least. He examines carefully all the titles of the books he sees on his way, unfolding some of them and checking their contents. After about 15 minutes of thorough examination, James grabs 'Monte Potente Potions' and 'Magick Moste Evile', figuring that these two would ensure getting Regulus in trouble, and leaves the restricted section insensibly.
The most important part of his plan is done. James holds the books under his arm and starts looking for Regulus, but he’s nowhere to be found. James throws another look at the map, telling him that the younger Black is within a few inches of him, just round the aisle. All James can see, though, is a black cat licking its paws between the shelves. Must be someone’s pet, he thinks. James turns around, looking for any sign of Regulus, but he only spots Snape sitting at one of the tables and writing something on his parchment. James grimaces at the sight of him and looks away.
Regulus’ bag is still lying on the floor where he saw it last, so James reaches for it carefully and hides the books deep inside. Wiping the sweat off his forehead, he glances at the map in his hands incredulously, and then looks back at the cat. He thinks there must be a mistake but the map has never deceived them once. James decides to go around the library one more time, but his searching turns out to be unsuccessful. The cat is where James saw it a few minutes ago, and the map still claims there’s Regulus standing at that spot.
‘Fuck, Reg, how many times do I have to tell you not to leave my side when you look like this,’ someone says in a hushed voice. James turns his head to the other side and sees Remus Lupin, a few books under his arm, walking directly to where James is standing. James panics as if Remus could see him and starts to back away, not letting Lupin out of his sight, but he doesn’t notice his cloak lift up, revealing his red converse and the hem of his robes.
The cat meows and stretches its limbs, purring into Remus’ lap as he starts stroking the cat’s fur. ‘I know, I know, but you can’t risk this shit, Reg,’ Remus murmurs. ‘You promised to stay reasonable.’
Wait a damn minute. Reg? Like, Regulus-Reg? James’ mind starts moving at the speed of light. Does that mean Regulus is an Animagus? Is this why his map claimed that his location was that of the cat?
James forgets about his revenge immediately, turning away and running as fast as he can. He doesn’t need Remus and Regulus to know he’s found out Black’s little secret just now.
He only stops when he’s outside the castle again, taking a deep breath and sighing with relief. His initial plan to steal some books from the restricted section and put them into Regulus’ bag, telling the librarian he saw Black sneaking in there, didn’t really work. Regulus was supposed to be caught red-handed, but by this time he could’ve already left or noticed the extra books inside his bag, getting rid of them at once.
James is caught by surprise at the scene he witnessed, and he still isn’t sure what to do about this revelation. He thinks he could threaten Regulus with telling everyone about him being an illegal Animagus. James knows for sure he’d never tell a soul but Regulus doesn’t need to know about it.
James wonders why and how Regulus decided to learn this kind of magic. James, Sirius, and Peter spent literally years researching all the details of becoming Animagi and only managed to master their transformations last year. They were motivated to help Remus, but James doubts Regulus had the same reasons, otherwise he would’ve been with them in the shack last month. Moreover, it must’ve been much more challenging for Regulus, considering the fact that Lupin was the only person who could’ve helped him, and he wouldn’t be able to become an Animagus himself, meaning Black had to rely mostly on his own abilities.
When Peter had trouble with transformation, James and Sirius would encourage him by turning into animals themselves and explaining him every step they had to take in order to ensure success of their transformations. James thinks it’s much easier to manage something when you can simply follow an example of your friends, and Regulus most likely didn’t have such a privilege.
Consequently, satisfied with the new information he got, James relaxes under the same tree as half an hour ago and drifts off, thinking about the expression on Regulus’ face when James finally confronts him.
Later that night James can’t fall asleep. It’s past midnight already, and both his friends are sleeping quietly in their beds, perhaps, dreaming about something nice. James, however, keeps flipping from side to side, unable to find the right position. His mind is full of thoughts he can’t suppress, and the nap he took earlier isn’t really helping him now. Maybe it was a bad idea to sleep in the afternoon.
James reaches his bedside table and grabs the map. Lighting up his wand, he moves it slowly all over the map, seeing if anyone else is up at this time. He takes a look at the girls’ dorm and notices that Mary and Lily are sharing Lily’s bed. He wonders if they’re gossiping about someone right now.
He then proceeds to check the locations of his favourite Slytherins. Mulciber, Avery, and Snape are all in their beds, and so is Remus.
James has never had anything against Remus, though. The moment they found out about his lycanthropy, he knew he and his friends would do anything to ease his pain. This is something his mother taught him: never turn you back on someone who might need your help. She never told him to take a risk of becoming an illegal Animagus but her words were open to James’ own interpretation.
Remus has never held a grudge against them, either. The most they do is throw sarcastic comments in the corridors or during shared classes from time to time which never result in anything serious. Lupin has a sharp tongue, just like Lily, and it’s very attractive, if you ask James.
James then checks Regulus’ whereabouts, just out of curiosity. Black, however, isn’t in his bed. He isn’t at his dorm at all. James starts examining every classroom, every cupboard, and every secret passageway marked on the map with no success. Suddenly he catches some movement at the Astronomy Tower and sees a familiar name, pacing back and forth.
‘Gotcha,’ James murmurs and takes his invisibility cloak from under the pillow. He gets up from his bed, holds the parchment tight, and sneaks quietly out of the dorm.
As he runs in the direction of the Astronomy Tower, checking Regulus’ location every now and then to make sure the boy hasn’t left, he asks himself ‘what the fuck am I going to do once I get there’. James has an ace up his sleeve but he hasn’t thought of how to play it, so the best he can do is improvise.
Walking up the spiral staircase quietly, he checks the map for the last time before sliding the parchment into his pocket. He stops in front of the door finally, breathing heavyly and hesitating before pulling the door handle.
James closes the door behind him and looks around carefully. The Tower is lit up by thousands of stars above him, and the moonlight makes the place look bright enough to see everything clearly. James’ gaze falls on the black cat sitting on the edge of the tower railing, and James throws off his cloak, coming up closer to the animal.
‘Hey, Regulus,’ James says smugly. ‘I’ve been waiting for a chance to finally talk to you one on one.’
The cat looks at him boringly, yawns and keeps on looking at the night sky.
‘You’re not even going to greet me?’ James asks.
The cat turns around and jumps down, moving closer to James. He tries to pet it but it bites him on the finger, hissing and arching its back.
‘Fuck, what was that for?’ James curses, yanking his injured hand from the cat’s jaws and clutching it to his chest. On the other hand, he didn’t actually think Regulus would let James touch him, did he?
Seconds later Regulus transforms back into himself and throws an annoying look at James.
‘For putting the books from the restricted section into my bag,’ he sneers. ‘Or did you really think you’d get away with it, Potter?’
Shit. So he saw him, then.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Whatever,’ Regulus says offhandedly, turning away from James.
‘You’re not afraid that I’ll tell everyone your secret?’
‘We both know you won’t, so don’t even bother trying to threaten me.’
James coughs awkwardly not knowing what to say or do next. Obviously his improvisation skills suck. He grabs his cloak from the floor, ready to leave, when Regulus turns again to face him.
‘I’m sorry I got you in detention. It wasn’t a part of the plan,’ he says suddenly. James can’t believe his ears: is Regulus Black apologising to him?
‘But I’ll do it again without hesitation if you keep on getting in my way,’ he adds.
James relaxes a bit and smiles at him. Regulus just rolls his eyes, his expression blank. Does his pretty face ever smile?
‘Why did you become an Animagus?’ James asks. Dumb ways to die.
Regulus raises an eyebrow. ‘Do we look like friends?’
‘No, but we could be, if you wanted to,’ James hears himself saying. It feels like he doesn’t even process any of his thoughts before saying them out loud.
‘You’re ridiculous, James Potter.’ He called him James! ‘I want nothing to do with you, so unless you want to get hexed, I suggest that you leave.’
Regulus looks at him expectantly, arms crossed on his chest, the wind blowing through his curly hair, making it messier. James thinks he’s the luckiest person alive to be in Regulus’ presence for the second time at night. He wonders if anyone has ever noticed how fucking gorgeous he is. Here, under the cover of night, Regulus looks much younger and much more vulnerable, even though he tries to show how unbothered he is by James’ intrusion. All James’ thoughts about revenge vanish in an instant.
‘I would actually fancy a quick Astronomy lesson, if you don’t mind. You look like an expert.’
Regulus lets out a laugh. ‘I don’t know what prank you’re trying to pull now but it’s not going to work.’
James looks at him offended. ‘I’m not. It’s the least you can do for me after throwing the blame on me for the crime I didn’t commit.’
‘Wow, switching to manipulation tactics now, are we?’ Regulus raises an eyebrow.
‘Well, the end justifies the means,’ James retorts.
Regulus sighs. ‘If that’s what you want. The only condition is that you stay quiet while I’m talking. You interrupt me – you leave. Clear?’
James nods his head, smiling to himself. ‘Clear.’
‘Okay, we’ll start with the basics.’
During the next 15 minutes James listens attentively to every word leaving Regulus’ mouth. Regulus talks passionately about his favourite constellations, prompting James to look through the telescope every now and then to get a better look of the starry sky. James learns that Regulus’ most favourite constellation is Canis Major, though Regulus doesn’t tell James why.
‘So, where is your star?’ James asks as Regulus adjusts the telescope at the right angle to let James see Lacerta.
‘Pardon?’
‘Johnny went to fight in Belfast, Rudi stayed at home to starve,’ James hums.
Regulus raises an eyebrow, looking at him with confusion.
‘Nevermind. I mean, your name’s Regulus, so where is your star? In which constellation?’ James tries to clarify.
‘Leo constellation,’ Regulus simply answers.
‘And what’s the story behind it?’ James asks wonderingly.
Regulus bites his lip. ‘Do you really want to know or you’re just asking me out of politeness?’
James furrows his eyebrows. Isn’t it obvious he really is interested in everything Regulus has to say?
‘Do you think I’d still be here if I didn’t want to know?’ James offers him a smile.
If the moonlight were just a bit brighter, James is sure he would see Regulus’ cheeks turn pinkish.
‘I don’t know, you tell me.’
James sighs. ‘I’m asking you because I really want to know, Regulus. I wouldn’t stay at the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the night with my best friend’s brother just because I wanted to be polite or make an impression.’
That seems to convince Regulus enough as he runs his fingers through his hair (it’s got even messier; James thinks Regulus looks extra cute) and starts telling the story.
‘According to Greek mythology, the constellation Leo is associated with the Nemean Lion, a monstrous creature that was said to terrorise the countryside and was eventually slain by the hero Heracles. The story goes that the Nemean Lion had a hide that was impervious to all weapons, so Heracles had to strangle it with his bare hands. After slaying the lion, Heracles wore its skin as a cloak and Zeus placed it in the sky as a constellation.’
‘Wow,’ James breathes out. ‘That was…brutal.’
Regulus smirks. ‘Wait till you hear about Cassiopeia.’
James throws a quick glance at the telescope and says, ‘So, what about Lacerta?’
‘Right,’ Regulus shrugs.
They spend about half an hour like this, Regulus talking and James listening, asking him clarifying questions occasionally. James thinks he could spend every night here, standing by Regulus’ side and enjoying his company, impressed with all Regulus’ knowledge about the universe. He’s flabbergasted, honestly; it’s crazy how much time one can dedicate to learning about the cosmos. As for James, he wants to know everything about one star and one star only.
Eventually Regulus stops talking, and they’re enjoying comfortable silence. James doesn’t know if it’s been minutes, hours, or even days – all he knows is that he doesn’t want this night to end ever. Everything comes to an end, though.
‘I got to go,' Regulus says eventually.
James clears his throat. ‘Yeah, right. See you?’
‘Sure, in the corridors tomorrow, Potter,’ Regulus sneers. ‘I hope I haven’t bored you too much,’ he adds a bit more quietly.
‘What?’ James exclaims. ‘Of course you haven’t. Thank you for being so willing to talk. I don’t usually get a chance to listen to others, they expect me to speak all the time,’ he says honestly.
‘Must be hard to constantly live up to others’ expectations.’
‘Speaking from your own experience?’
‘Bye, James,’ Regulus rolls his eyes and leaves the Tower as James watches his every move. When the black robes disappear behind the door, James sighs heavily.
He feels his stomach twist as he comes closer to the telescope where Regulus was holding his hands just a while ago. James is well aware that it he’s not afraid of heights, and the sinking feeling he’s experiencing has a completely different nature. He isn’t sure he is ready to accept it just now.