Chapter 5
Billie didn’t do patience.
She’d gotten used to people trying to figure her out, trying to understand why she did what she did, why she said things the way she did. But with Mikey, it was different. Mikey didn’t look for answers, didn’t ask her questions. Instead, she let Billie be, even as her own walls remained firmly in place.
But Billie knew Mikey was starting to crumble. Slowly, like the smallest tremors before an earthquake. Billie wasn’t in a rush to push it—not yet, at least. But she knew Mikey was close.
And she liked it.
Damn, she liked it.
Mikey was unpredictable. That was the thing. She didn’t react the way Billie expected. It was always a challenge to figure out how to push her just enough to make her respond without scaring her off.
Like right now.
Billie leaned closer to Mikey on the couch, watching her fidget with the hem of her shirt, fingers twisting and tugging as if she were trying to focus on something, anything, other than the way Billie was casually tracing her thumb along the seam of Mikey’s sleeve.
Mikey wasn’t stupid.
She knew what Billie was doing.
She had her own tricks—little things she did to deflect. To keep the tension just a little bit loose, just enough to keep Billie guessing. But lately?
Lately, she wasn’t sure she could keep up the charade.
“Mikey,” Billie murmured, voice a little lower than usual, “you good?”
Mikey blinked, suddenly aware of how close they were. She tilted her head, trying to play it cool.
“Yeah,” she said too quickly, not quite meeting Billie’s eyes. “Just... just tired, I guess.”
Billie raised an eyebrow, but didn’t push it. Instead, she leaned back a little, giving Mikey the space she needed.
The thing was, Billie knew. She knew how Mikey got when she was overthinking, when she was shutting down without even realizing it. And right now, Mikey was doing exactly that.
“I’ll let you breathe,” Billie said, sitting up straight but still keeping her eyes on Mikey. “But, hey, don’t shut me out. I’m not going anywhere.”
Mikey looked at her, for a split second, really looked at her. The words stung more than she wanted to admit.
She wasn’t used to anyone being this persistent.
She wasn’t used to anyone wanting to stick around.
“I’m not shutting you out,” Mikey murmured, even though she felt like she already had.
Billie tilted her head, her gaze sharp and assessing. “No? Because it looks like you’re building another wall.”
Mikey stiffened, her throat suddenly tight. She couldn’t let herself go there. Not yet.
“I’m fine,” she repeated, but her voice cracked.
Billie didn’t buy it.
Mikey was doing everything she could to pull away, but Billie wasn’t having it.
“I know you’re scared, Mikey,” Billie said softly, her voice catching just enough to let Mikey know she wasn’t trying to sound condescending. “But you don’t have to be. You can be scared with me. You can be scared and I’ll still be here.”
The words hit Mikey like a wave, flooding her with warmth and panic in equal measure.
Her mind raced, heart pounding in her chest. Was this real? Was it possible that Billie actually meant this?
Mikey wasn’t used to being wanted, not in the way Billie was offering.
Her voice faltered when she finally spoke. “But what if you get tired of me? What if I screw this up? I don’t... I don’t know how to be what you need.”
Billie’s eyes softened, and for the first time in a while, Mikey could see past the confident exterior, past the public persona that Billie wore like a second skin.
“You’re exactly what I need, Mikey,” Billie said, leaning in closer again, her fingers brushing against Mikey’s. “And I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”
The silence between them grew heavy, the weight of Billie’s words hanging in the air. Mikey had always felt like she was fighting against something, fighting against her own worth, fighting against the world’s expectations. But this?
This felt different.
Mikey let out a shaky breath, barely noticing that she was clenching her hands in her lap.
“You’re sure?” she whispered, still not meeting Billie’s eyes.
Billie didn’t hesitate. “I’m sure.”
Mikey swallowed hard, feeling her heart race in her chest. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her feel this safe.
And yet, it was terrifying.
Because, deep down, Mikey knew she wanted more. So much more. She wanted all of Billie, the way she could feel her presence in her bones, the way Billie had been there every time Mikey doubted herself.
But that terrified her.
And that terrified Billie too, in a way that Mikey was starting to understand.
“You’re not ready for me, are you?” Billie asked, voice low, almost teasing.
Mikey shook her head.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready,” she admitted, her voice a whisper. “But I think... I think I want to try.”
Billie smiled, but it wasn’t playful. It was understanding, like she had been waiting for this moment to come.
“I’m here, Mikey,” she said. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
And in that moment, Mikey believed her.
But that didn’t make the next part any easier.
The part where Mikey finally had to admit to herself that she was falling for Billie Eilish.
And falling hard.