June 1974
“Put that away, will you,” said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, “before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.”
Peter turned slightly pink, but James grinned.
“If it bothers you,” he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket. Lily rolled her eyes, knowing that Sirius was the only one for whom James would have stopped showing off - would have done anything at all, in fact. Their mutual pining was beginning to wear on her.
“I’m bored,” said Sirius. “Wish it was full moon.”
“You might,” said Lupin darkly from behind his book. “We’ve still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here…” and he held out his book.
But Sirius snorted. “I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.”
Lily opened her mouth to object, because Sirius’s Transfiguration was not as good as he thought, Animagus or not. But she never got to speak.
“This’ll liven you up, Padfoot,” said James quietly. “Look who it is.” Sirius’s head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.
“Oh no,” he said softly. “Regulus.”
Lily turned to see Sirius’s little brother, small but classically handsome, flanked by his cousin Bellatrix, Evan Rosier, and Lucius Malfoy. They were striding purposefully over the grass, and she could hear Malfoy discussing question fourteen of their paper. Regulus was answering - two years younger and brighter than the lot of them, she was sure.
“Ah, Snivellus,” sang Bellatrix, interrupting. A cruel smile stripped the beauty from her face.
Lily’s heart sank as she followed Black’s line of sight and saw Severus, adjusting the strap of his bag, just emerging from the shadow of the bushes. She almost called out to him, to ask why he hadn’t joined them under the beech tree - but things had been strained between them since Christmas, when she had challenged Malfoy’s misogyny in their potions lesson. James and Sirius had never loved him, even if Remus and Peter had tried to be welcoming; this fracture had deepened the rift. Lily cursed the day the Sorting Hat had split them up.
Sirius and James stood up. Wormtail cowered, and Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows. Lily could feel her heartbeat in her throat, avid anticipation thrumming into chemical adrenaline as she watched the Slytherin foursome converge on her childhood friend.
“All right, Snivellus?” said Rosier loudly, glancing at his friends for approval.
Snape reacted so fast it was although he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when Bellatrix shouted, “Expelliarmus!”
Snape’s wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Lucius let out a bark of laughter.
"Impedimenta!" he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.
Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.
Snape lay panting on the ground. Lucius and Evan advanced on him, wands raised, Rosier glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said Regulus.
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Bellatrix viciously. "There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word."
Several people watching laughed; Snape had always been unpopular. Wormtail sniggered shrilly, and clapped a hand over his mouth. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.
"You - wait," he panted, staring up at Bellatrix with an expression of purest loathing, "you - wait!"
"Wait for what?" said Malfoy coolly. "What’re you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"
Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.
"Wash out your mouth," said Regulus coldly. "Scourgify!"
Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -
Lily watched in horror, and noted Sirius’s flinch out of the corner of her eye, the way he recoiled - and she could take it no longer. “Leave him ALONE!”
James and Sirius, still poised as if to step in, looked round. James's free hand immediately jumped to his hair, a nervous habit he had never grown out of.
The Slytherin four paused, and half-turned. Rosier smirked.
“All right, Evans?” he said, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.
“Leave him alone,” Lily repeated. She was looking at Rosier with great dislike. “What's he done to you?”
“Well,” said Rosier, appearing to deliberate the point, “it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…”
Many of the surrounding students laughed, Wormtail included, but Lily didn’t - and neither did the rest of the Marauders.
“You think you're funny,” she said coldly. “But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Rosier. Leave him alone.”
"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said Rosier quickly. "Go on ... go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."
Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.
"I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.
"Bad luck, Rosier," said Regulus briskly, and turned back to Snape. "OI!"
But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at Rosier; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of Rosier’s face, spattering his robes with blood. Bellatrix whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.
Many people in the small crowd cheered; Malfoy, Rosier and Regulus roared with laughter.
Lily, whose pulse was thundering in her ears and who had noticed the twitch of Wormtail’s lips, said "Let him down!"
"Certainly," said Bellatrix and she jerked her wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Bellatrix said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius - and Regulus, the only one of the lot of them with any sense - eyed it warily.
"Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you," said Regulus earnestly.
"Take the curse off him, then!"
Regulus sighed deeply, then turned to Bellatrix and nodded. She rolled her eyes, but faced Snape and muttered the counter-curse.
"There you go," Regulus said, as Snape struggled to his feet. "You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"
"I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"
Lily blinked. Her heart, previously pounding, seemed suddenly - silent. A breeze rustled the beech leaves, the only sound in the whole of the Highlands, it seemed.
"Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in future.” She turned away, but something - some pain when she took a shaky breath - made her turn back. “And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."
"Apologise to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.
"I don't want you to make him apologise," Lily shouted, rounding on him. "When were you going to step in? When were you going to stop this?"
"What?" yelped James. "I - I was - I’d have -”
"You’d have what? You’re a coward, James. You’ve never liked Severus, you just put up with him for me. Well, now you don’t have to." She turned on her heel and hurried away.
"Lily!" James shouted after her. "Hey, Lily!"
But she didn’t look back. She didn’t see the next flash of light, or Snape once again hanging upside-down in the air, or Rosier grinning, or Bellatrix capering like a toddler on a sugar high. She didn’t hear the somewhat chilling question from Malfoy -
"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?"
September 1974
“You still aren’t speaking?” Sirius asked incredulously.
“No,” Lily snapped. “Why would I speak to him?”
“Because you’re miserable when you don’t?” Sirius replied.
“After what he said - after what he called me -” she spluttered, firing up.
Sirius raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Okay, I’m sorry,” he said hastily. “I grew up with those sorts of words,” he reminded her gently. “I don’t mean any offence.”
Lily sighed and relaxed, and forced her shoulders down, leaning back into the lightly vibrating and very worn seat of the Hogwarts Express carriage. “I know,” she said. “I know.” She smiled thinly. “How was your summer?”
“Great,” Sirius enthused. “I was barely home two nights, then I took off to James’s. Couldn’t take it a minute longer. Backwards bastards with their narrow-minded - well. You know.” He cleared his throat. “The Potters made me very welcome. I stayed with them until this morning.”
“Did you,” said Lily, raising an eyebrow and smirking.
“What?” Sirius asked, looking genuinely baffled.
“You’re going to have to admit it to yourself at some point,” Lily said, chuckling. “You adore him.”
“James? Who doesn’t?” Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. “Honestly, he announces he’s going for a walk to find the trolley and I’d expect Remus to follow for chocolate. But the way Peter hangs off him is pitiful. I think I’d rather hang out with Sev.”
“Me too,” Lily murmured before she could stop herself. Then she snapped her mouth shut and set her jaw mutinously.
Sirius scowled. “Sorry,” he muttered. “And about my bloody brother, as well. I… I tried to talk to him. Tried to bring him with me to the Potters, actually. But he’s in too deep.”
Lily clenched her teeth and reached a sympathetic hand out to Sirius. He took it and smiled tremulously.
“We understand each other, Lil. More than the others do, in a lot of ways. I appreciate that.”
Wordless, because Sirius was rarely so - well, serious - Lily squeezed his fingers and nodded.
Christmas 1974/New Year 1975
“I don’t know how much longer I can take her moping,” James announced moodily, throwing himself on his four-poster as the dormitory door banged closed behind him.
“They always spent Christmas together,” Remus reminded him quietly. “Her sister and his parents were enough reasons not to go home. It was often just the two of them, and all of us left for the festive season.”
“How times change,” James answered sarcastically.
“How they do,” Sirius said sadly, picking at a loose thread on the bedspread. He hesitated. “I… will be forever grateful to your parents, James. But no matter how much I hate their politics, I miss… well, home.”
James moved from his bed to Sirius’s and slung his arm around his shoulders. “I know,” he said quietly. “I can’t imagine.”
Sirius smiled weakly and clapped him on the shoulder. He cleared his throat. “My family are a lost cause,” he said briskly and thickly. “But what Lily is going through we can fix. We can help. Because even if he is a greasy git, Snape doesn’t deserve what he’s getting from his own House or from everyone else.”
“He called her a - well, you heard him,” Remus said darkly. “No one is going to forget that quickly.”
"Including him,” Sirius pointed out reasonably. “I grew up with that term, just like he did. It used to slip so easily off my tongue, too - he probably regrets it. Come on, we have to do something. She’s miserable - she’s just had the worst Christmas of her life, no matter how many self-inking quills and Charms books we got her between us. She’s miserable.”
“I’m kind of offended by that,” James replied. “Aren’t we good enough mates for her?”
“Jesus, Prongs, are you that blind? We’re the best mates she could hope for. But they’re soulmates.”
“They’re - what?”
“They’re made for each other, you idiot. Come on… let’s find out how he’s getting on.”
Remus found Severus first, ensconced in a pile of books at the back of the silent and empty library. Snow was drifting silently past the window and collecting on the sills.
He approached quietly, wondering what he was supposed to say. His heart sank when he saw Snape tense at the sound of footsteps and glance around hurriedly. He held up his empty hands in a peace offering.
“Hey,” he said, trying to sound friendly but only pulling off awkward. “May I?” He indicated the spare chair.
Snape jerked his head in assent, looking torn between annoyed and curious, watching out of guarded eyes. “Merry Christmas,” he said somewhat hoarsely and a little stiffly, as if unsure what else to say, and as if he hadn’t used his voice for a while. Remus wondered whether he had spoken to anyone since classes had finished.
“And Happy New Year,” Remus returned politely. He hesitated. “How - how are you?”
Severus stared at him, and then shrugged one shoulder noncommittally, returning his gaze to his cramped, spidery handwriting. “Studying,” he said dismissively. “Er - you?”
“Same,” Remus agreed. “Heavy workload this year. Thought we’d have a quieter year before NEWTs, but… apparently not.”
A heavy silence fell between them, and Remus wondered why he hadn’t just left the library and gone to fetch James and Sirius. This was their scheme, after all.
“How’s… how’s Lily?” Snape asked pitifully, finally breaking the silence, and his voice cracked on her name. Remus jumped at the chance with both hands.
“She’s - well, she’s not great,” he said frankly. “I just wondered, actually, whether you two - whether you spoke at all over summer. Or since - since -”
“No. I don’t even know how she did in her OWLs,” he replied. “I tried, I tried but she wouldn’t see me - I couldn’t -”
“I know,” Remus cut him off softly. “I know, she’s stubborn.” He reached out and gripped Snape’s shoulder, aware of a sudden shining in his eyes - tears gathering. “She did well, really well - highest Charms mark ever recorded, and the best results in the year. We’re proud of her.” He hesitated. “How did you do?”
“Passed,” Snape grunted. “All passed.” He sniffed and ground the heels of his hands into his eyes, smiling painfully. “She would be the best in the year,” he added, and his chuckle might have been a sob, but it was hard to tell.
“Of course,” Remus said lightly, smiling. He sobered and took a deep breath. “Look, I - we want to help. She’s miserable without you, and I think you’re miserable about the whole event. Will you let us try?”
Snape took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’d do anything to be able to apologise to her,” he said. “Anything.”
Remus considered him thoughtfully, and nodded slowly. “I believe you would,” he agreed. “I’ll let you know when we’ve come up with something.” He stood and paced away.
February 1975
“That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard, Padfoot.”
“It’s flawless.”
“It’s horrendous. You’ll never convince Lily to go in there. It’s too pink.” James shook his head. “She’d die before she was caught in there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Then she’d be caught dead in there.”
James gesticulated rudely at Sirius. “I’m serious,” he started, “She won’t -”
“No, I’m Sirius,” he interrupted. “And she will. Right now, she’s miserable. She’ll go because someone has asked her to, and she’ll be flattered, because it’s Valentine’s Day. It’s a blind date, and it’s romantic, and it’ll cheer her up. And the absolute last person she’d expect to find in Madame Puddifoot’s?”
“Snape,” James sighed. “All right, it’s worth a shot. But you’ve also got to get him to agree to it, and stop her from walking out as soon as she sees him.”
“True,” Sirius said. “But I will not give up at the first sign of difficulty,” he added dramatically. “I am dedicated to the cause!”
“What cause?” Lily asked, stepping in through the portrait hole.
“Your cause,” Sirius replied without missing a beat. “I’m on a mission to get you a date!”
“A date? No thanks,” Lily answered, laughing. “Get yourself a date.” She headed for the staircase to her dormitory.
“It’s Valentine’s Day next week,” Sirius called after her. “And I know someone who wants to take you on a date.”
Lily stopped and turned back. “Wh - what?” She asked uncertainly.
“You heard,” James replied, beaming with success at how well Sirius’s plan was coming together. “A date, Evans.”
“It’s not with either of you, is it?” She asked with distaste. “Or Peter?”
“Oh, so Remus is the only one of us in with a shot then?” James asked, mock-offended. Lily blushed and flipped him off.
“None of us,” Sirius said hurriedly. “None of us. This guy is really interested… I can set it up, if you like. No pressure.”
“A little bit of pressure,” James cut in. “We just want to see you happy.”
Lily stared down at them, considering. They didn’t seem in a pranking mood; they seemed oddly sincere. “Okay,” she agreed slowly. “If he’s a decent bloke, and you’re around to rescue me if it’s horrid.”
“Wouldn’t be anywhere else,” James said cheerfully. Lily eyed them both suspiciously and shook her head, heading into her room.
14 February 1975
“It’s where?” Lily asked, aghast.
“I know, I’m sorry,” Remus groaned. “I tried to - you know, politely suggest that maybe - the Three Broomsticks, or Honeydukes - but -”
“Do you know this bloke?” Lily asked.
“Kind of,” Remus replied, not meeting her eyes.
“Kind of,” she repeated slowly. Then she sighed. “Look, if he’s the kind of bloke that chooses Madame Puddifoot’s, then he’s not the bloke for me. And if he chose it because he thought I’d like it then he knows nothing about me. Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Positive,” Remus said hurriedly. “Lily, it’s the best idea those two idiots have ever had, and they’re unregistered Animagi, they’re kind of geniuses. Don’t tell them I said that.”
Lily chuckled, and swiped irritably at one of her eyes. “Fine,” she said. “If you think it’s a good idea, I’ll go. How do I look?” She fussed with the emerald skirt that was hugging her hips and pulled at the dress’s long sheer sleeves.
“Breathtaking,” Remus replied honestly. Lily blushed and smiled shyly.
The four Marauders walked her all the way into Hogsmeade and to the very door of Madame Puddifoot’s, each elbowing Wormtail in turn when his gaze lingered too long. The tea shop exuded a sweet smell and lace hung in the windows. Inside, couples made eyes at one another over bowls of sugar cubes. Lily resisted the urge to shudder in disgust, and her eyes found the only empty table.
“Not the best start,” she said. “He’s late.”
“We’re early,” Sirius corrected. “Go on.” He placed a hand on the small of her back and walked her politely to the door. “We’ll be on that bench. I have some of your blue flame jars. We’ll wait.”
Lily met each set of eyes in turn - Sirius’s, earnest, James’s, expectant, Remus’s, hopeful, and Peter’s, hungry. Peter, it seemed, was not in on the plan - whatever the plan was. But she still didn’t get the impression that she was being set up for a prank. Whatever this was, the boys had done it with all the best of intentions.
“Don’t go anywhere,” she pleaded.
“The bench,” James said.
“The bench,” they all echoed.
“Okay.” She swallowed, and smiled, and reached for the door handle. The bell tinkled as she stepped into the warmth and left the barely-there layer of powdery snow behind.
“Lily?” A large witch bustled over, pink-flowered apron flapping. “Your table is ready, dear. I’ll bring you some tea. Cake?”
“Sure,” Lily agreed faintly, totally bemused to find herself now seated, examining a lace tablecloth embroidered with - well, with lilies - and no clear idea of how she and the steaming teapot arrived there. The seat opposite her was wooden, low-backed, and empty. “Well. This isn’t a place I ever expected to… well.”
The chair opposite her chuckled. She smiled at it, and then caught herself and squinted in suspicion. Two thoughts passed in quick succession through her mind - one: that the tables were charmed, for she had no reason to have such warm feelings towards a chair; and two: chairs don’t chuckle.
“Who’s there?” She asked suspiciously, reaching surreptitiously for her wand, holstered against her forearm. The idea of this being a prank was fading, and her heart was in her throat as she wondered whether this might in fact be dangerous, be a set up and not just of the blind date type -
“Don’t panic,” said a familiar voice soothingly. “It’s - it’s just me. I’m sorry.”
James’s invisibility cloak slipped down to reveal Severus’s familiar face, thinner than Lily remembered, framed by longer hair that he seemed to have both washed and brushed. She relaxed, but she did not smile as he removed the rest of the cloak and folded it up, handing it somewhat regretfully across the table to her.
“You requested a date? With me? Here?” Lily asked doubtfully. “After everything you’ve done?” She added in an angry hiss.
“No,” Severus replied calmly and evenly. “No. Sirius suggested here so you would never suspect for a moment that it was me. He suggested a date because he could think of no better way to set up anything blindly.” He paused, taking in the set of Lily’s jaw. “He said that he was sick of seeing you upset, and he wished he could have his brother back, but he can’t. But maybe we could have each other back.”
Lily ground her teeth. “That is the sort of thing he’d say,” she admitted eventually, blowing air out of her cheeks and dropping her shoulders. “Prat.” She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Fine, if we’re doing this, you need to know that I will never forget what you said to me that day during OWLs, and I will never forgive you for it. And you can’t do anything to change that.”
“I know,” Severus replied softly, and he reached silently for the teapot and poured them both a cup. He added milk and sugar without asking Lily’s preference, for they had known each other long enough and well enough that such questions were superfluous, and had been for many years.
Lily watched him silently, trying and mostly failing to glower. Eventually, she rolled her eyes. “But I have missed you,” she admitted. “Dickhead.”
He looked up, hope shining in his eyes. “I’ve missed you too,” he breathed, putting the teapot down and sloshing some of its contents onto the lace cloth. His breath stuttered and his voice shook. “Lil, I’m so sorry - I’m not asking for forgiveness, that - what I said was unforgivable - but I regretted it the moment I said it, I was just trying -”
“-To fit in with your housemates so they’d leave you alone, I know,” Lily finished. “I know. Half of what I’m angry about is that they’re such bullies, and the Sorting Hat split us up. I’m only just realising how much of my anger isn’t even directed at you.” She tried to laugh, but hot tears spilled down both cheeks suddenly. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you in over summer,” she breathed. “I’m sorry for how much we’ve missed out on.”
Severus smiled, and with his clean, combed hair the brilliance of it made him handsome, despite his hollow cheeks and sallow skin. “So am I,” he said. “But I’m glad we’re talking again now.” He reached for Lily’s hand across the table and squeezed it joyfully.
Outside, Sirius was craning his neck, trying to spy on their progress.
“I can’t see a damn thing!” He cried, frustrated. “It’s like the glass frosts when I stare too hard!”
“Course it does,” Remus said patiently. “They don’t want people watching all the kissing from out here, do they?”
“Yeah, and I don’t want to see it either,” James said. “Tongues. Gross.”
Peter made a strangled sound that might have been alarm or might have been amusement; no one could tell, and no-one asked.
“I hope they’re talking it out,” Remus said wistfully.
“I just hope neither of them are bleeding,” James replied grimly.
The four Marauders only had a few more minutes to wait to find out. The door of the shop opened, and Lily emerged, blinking, onto the snowy street. Behind her, cloak over one arm, was Severus.
Their hands were clasped.
“Are they -?” Peter asked in a high-pitched squeal.
“Shut up!” The others hissed, and James’s elbow made painful contact with his fourth rib.
“That didn’t last long,” James greeted them casually.
“Well, no,” Lily replied. “It’s a very stuffy atmosphere and the tea is terrible. I fancy a butterbeer.”
Severus untangled their fingers, shook James’s hand, and handed back his cloak. He wordlessly shook Sirius’s hand next, and clapped Remus on the shoulder, throat working. Then he interlaced his fingers with Lily’s again, gazing at her adoringly.
Lily shook back her hair, trying not to blush and failing miserably. “Thank you,” she said, for a moment letting her serious side out. “I needed the push, so thank you. But don’t you dare ever make me go in there again.”
“Deal,” Sirius said. “Now come on. Let’s go. Forgiveness and butterbeer are a match made in heaven.”
“Oh, I haven’t forgiven him,” Lily replied airily, squeezing Severus’s hand as she looked up and caught his gaze. “I probably never will. But we’ve reached an understanding, and that’s enough.”
“More than enough,” Severus said, eyes locked on hers. “More than I deserve.”
James made a gagging noise. “Enough already,” he groaned, and forced his way between them, interlocking their arms with his. “Let’s go. Rosmerta might be serving.”
Peter made a strangled sound and got hurriedly up off the bench, leading the merry group through the village to the famous bar.