Situationship

MM: “I know you’ve been to mixer parties before, so can you tag along?”

SN: “I don’t see the point why though.”

MM: “Aw, c’mon! They said you need to bring another person to join. There will be a lot of other pretty girls!”

SN: “The only reason you’re going there is because you heard Dahyun’s joining, right? Why not just ask her out directly?”

MM: “You know I don’t have the guts to talk to her alone.”

*Sana’s POV*

It’s the first time my best friend wanted to join a mixer. I’ve been to some before and it’s definitely fun. I’ve met a lot of people I really like because of that, and some of them have been close friends to me ever since. I’m not really that much in the mood to join one, not when we have a lot of requirements to submit to graduate from university this academic year. And I’m not really the smart type to get those done easily!

SN: “..Alright, fine. But I’ll leave in just an hour because I still have a paper to submit, okay?”

MM: “Yay! I know I can always count on you~ This could be a great chance for you to get a girlfriend too before graduating, hehe.”

SN: “If this was a year ago or two, it’s fine with me. But right now I’m more worried that I might not even graduate!”

MM: “Your grades are that bad? I guess all the partying the past few years finally caught up to you, hehe.”

SN: “Say one more and I’m not joining you.”

MM: “I’M KIDDING! PLEASE COME TO THAT PARTY WITH ME!!”

What Momo said was true though. I’ve always been the life of the party, meeting with a lot of girls here and there. But all this time, I never really had a girlfriend. I really like flirting around with those I found attractive, but entering a relationship just feels like a bother, you know what I mean? It’s like there’ll be a collar around your neck, restricting your every movement, having to report to someone regularly what you’re doing and always having to make time for that someone! I do enjoy the attention others give me, but there’s just so much in a relationship that doesn’t really work with me. Anyway, Momo has been a good friend of mine so I’ll just tag along and support her, I guess? Besides, once we graduate, we might have less time to hang out as well.

*3rd Person POV*

Hirai Momo and Minatozaki Sana were both graduating students in Seoul Women’s University. With only a few month’s left, pressure to meet all their requirements became stronger and stronger. By the end of March of that academic year, they are to join the corporate world in order to become part of society. Despite all this, Momo wanted to end her school life with a bang after concentrating on keeping her grades up throughout the years. However, Sana was the opposite. She always partied hard, taking it easy and not really thinking about her academics that much. She was able to pass her classes anyway. Still, a good thesis paper is all that’s left that she needs to finish. But all that time she wasn’t paying much attention to her classes definitely was affecting her badly. She had to seriously work hard, but it wasn’t easy at all.

It was on January 17th, the night of the mixer party that Momo wanted to join. Sana accompanied her but didn’t really have any intentions of having fun. Regardless, she saw this moment as a good short breather after putting herself to a lot of pressure in her research paper. The two of them arrived in time, entering a reserved private room at one of the bars in Itaewon. There were already a few people there, including Kim Dahyun, the one that Momo had interest to get acquainted with. 

DH: “Ah, hello! Are you.. Hirai Momo?”

MM: “Y-yeah! That’s me. Here’s my plus one. Her name’s Sana.”

SN: “Hi there.”

DH: “Hello! Come in~ Take a seat, please.”

The two Japanese girls entered. Luckily, there’s no one else in front of where Dahyun was seated, so Momo took the opportunity to sit in front of her. A few more people came in, and they were just waiting for one more pair to join before getting started. In about five minutes or so after the call time at 8pm, the two girls they were waiting for finally arrived.

DH: “Ah, you’re finally here Jeongyeon-unnie!”

JY: “Sorry if we’re late.”

DH: “Don’t mind it. Take a seat!”

Behind this person that talked to Dahyun was another woman that looked as tall as her. Sana immediately noticed the calm yet serious aura coming from this person. They both sat at the far corner of the table.

DH: “Thanks everyone for joining! I hope by the end of the night, we can all get along~”

The party got started and Momo immediately just focused on Dahyun, trying to get to know her. Meanwhile, in front of Sana was the other girl that the organizer invited. She looked at her and the tall girl greeted.

TY: “Hello, my name’s Chou Tzuyu. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Sana-unnie, right?”

SN: “Y-yeah. Nice meeting you too.”

TY: “..You look like you go to these mixers often, am I right?”

SN: “I used to. But I stopped for quite a while since I’m trying to graduate.”

TY: “Really? Then why are you here?”

SN: “I kind of got dragged by Momo here.”

Sana pointed at her best friend who was beside her, chatting with Dahyun.

TY: “Well she looks like she’s enjoying chatting with Dahyunie.”

SN: “Yeah.”

TY: “..How about a drink, Sana-unnie?”

SN: “Hmm..I guess I can go for one.”

The party started to get more lively, but it was evident that Sana wasn’t there to go wild. Most of the time, she was the one that stands out the most. But she had priorities so she was avoiding missing out even a single day of work on her thesis. By the time everyone was getting into it. Tzuyu too was just paying attention to Momo now as she sensed that Sana wasn’t really there to get acquainted with anyone. However, there was another person that caught her eye. At the opposite end of the table, she can see that one of the two girls that arrived last didn’t seem like she’s there to party either. She was drinking, but wasn’t really chatting with anyone as well. 

*Sana’s POV*

Looks like I’m not the only one who got dragged into this party. At least it doesn’t make me feel left out. She’s probably also busy with her school work so she’s not trying to chat with anyone? Or does she have a girlfriend already or something?

*3rd Person POV*

The party went on and started to get noisy. People were starting to make dares on drinking games and so on. It’s been around an hour since the party got started and it’s about time for Sana to leave. She didn’t want to stay any longer and do anything unnecessary.

SN: “..I’ll go ahead now Momo. You can handle yourself from here.”

MM: “..Eh? You’re already leaving? Isn’t it too early?”

SN: “I appreciate the gesture, Dahyun. But I have a deadline to meet. Maybe I can join next time.”

TY: “Take care, Sana-unnie.”

Sana stood up and got her bag, handing over to Momo her share for her food and drink. She then exited the room and then the bar, inhaling a breath of fresh air before taking out her phone and booking a ride back to her dorm. After a minute or two, she was still not getting any booking.

SN: “..The train’s still operating. I should probably head there. But there’s too many people at this time.”

??: “..Hey.”

SN: “..Eh?”

Sana turned around and saw the same woman that caught her eye during the party. She had a cap on and her backpack on one shoulder, assuming that she was also leaving the party already. 

??: “..Need a ride?”

SN: “..Y-yeah? But I don’t really know you so..”

JH: “Oh, right. My name’s Park Jihyo. You can trust me, don’t worry.”

SN: “..And why would you suddenly offer a ride? You don’t even know where I live.”
JH: “You’re a student from Seoul Women’s University. I noticed the sticker behind your phone. I also study there so I’m assuming that your dorm’s closed.”

SN: “..Alright, then how much do I pay you?”

JH: “..What? You don’t have to. My car’s right around the corner. Follow me.”

SN: “..H-hey!”

*Sana’s POV*

It was the first time I’ve met such a person like her. She’s very observant, decisive and took the lead in a moment’s notice. Like.. an alpha? I don’t really know, but I did like that part of her. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take her offer and chat a little.

*3rd Person POV*

Sana followed the woman who offered her a ride, eventually arriving at the parking lot and in front of the latter’s car which happens to be a Mercedes. 

SN: “..Wow.”

JH: “It’s not mine. My father gave it to me as a graduation gift, though it’s in advance. Anyway, let’s go now.”

SN: “Alright.”

They both got in with Sana taking the passenger seat and Jihyo started the car, eventually out of the parking lot and now on the road heading back to their university. While on their way, Sana was checking out Jihyo, and could honestly admit that she looked very attractive driving calmly with one hand on the steering wheel. 

JH: “..Be careful next time, okay?”

SN: “..Eh?”

JH: “You should remove any trace of where you’re from or something in areas like Itaewon. I guess you didn’t notice the suspicious looking man that was staring at you earlier?”

SN: “..N-no..”

JH: “..Well you’re safe now. He could’ve followed you if you went to the station by yourself.”

So she did all that because she was concerned about me? Is it because.. No. It’s only natural for anyone to protect anyone who could be in danger. I should thank her regardless.

SN: “Thanks for the help, and the ride.”

JH: “..So why did you leave early?”

SN: “..I was just dragged by my best friend there. She needed a plus one and I was the only one she could ask. She really likes one of the girls there and wanted to make a move. Besides that, I had a deadline on my thesis paper I have to submit. How about you?”

JH: “I guess it’s kind of the same, but still different. Jeongyeon is my best friend and needed someone to join.She recently had a breakup with her partner and thought going to the mixer could help her meet someone else and move on. I left already because I kind of got bored. She’s already having fun and talking to someone there anyway.” 

Getting over a breakup by meeting someone new? Like a rebound or something? I guess that could work. But who am I to assume? I never had a relationship myself. Her friend’s situation just makes it so that I don’t want to enter one.

SN: “..So that was your first ever mixer?”

JH: “Not really. But I don’t like it either. I just get this impression that whatever results from that party isn’t certain. Finding a potential partner among a number of people who might not even match with you. In the end you might not find anyone or even feel left out.”

She has a good point. But I never really experienced that. I always found someone that matched well with me. Although it really felt like they wanted more than just a good time. 

JH: “..How about you? You look like you often go to mixers.”

SN: “I used to, but this year was really tough. If I don’t put in the extra hours studying, I won’t graduate, you know?”

JH: “So you didn’t manage your partying with your studies, hehe.”

SN: “Hey! That’s not.. Okay, fine. You’re right. But that’s why I’m compensating now!”

JH: “What are you taking? I might be able to help?”

SN: “Economics. But you don’t have to help me out. I can manage.”

JH: “I’m taking Business Administration. I’m not sure but I might know a thing or two about your research paper. Would you like me to take a look?”

SN: “There’s no need. I can manage!”

JH: “Or at least hear a second opinion. That could help you know?”

She’s really pushy, but I hate to admit that I like it. Having someone like her around feels like a breath of fresh air. I’m starting to want to get to know her more.

SN: “..Okay you can have a look, but don’t judge! You look like a smart student and I’m not like you.”

JH: “Haha, don’t worry. I don’t really have other plans tonight and this is a good change of pace for me. Anyway, can you set the location of your dorm? Here.”

*3rd Person POV* 

Jihyo handed her phone to Sana with Google maps open so she could input the exact location where her dorm is. After typing it down, she gave the phone back to her and they continued on their drive. They pretty much had a casual chat, talking about studies, school events, interests and the like. During their talk, Sana realized that she and Jihyo had a lot of things in common, which kind of explains why she’s pretty comfortable talking to her openly like this. After some time during their drive, they finally arrived at the Japanese girl’s dormitory. Sana got off first.

SN: “You can park your car over there. I’ll just tell the guard that you’re with me.”

JH: “Alright.”

After informing the security about Jihyo, she went back to where she was parked. 

SN: “Let’s go.”

Sana took the lead this time as this was her dormitory. They went to the fifth floor and walked through the hallway, reaching the far end where her unit was located.

SN: “I’m sharing the same place as Momo. So it might look like I have a lot of stuff.

JH: “I kind of expected that since you’re best friends.”

SN: “You also share with Jeongyeon-unnie?”

JH: “No. Her family lives nearby.”

They both entered and immediately, Jihyo was surprised by the mess. There were clothes on the floor, a few dishes left unwashed and even the bed wasn’t made.

JH: “..Is it always like this?”

SN: “Yeah, hehe. I hope you don’t mind the little mess~”

JH: “I think ‘little’ is an understatement.”

SN: “I’ll go open my laptop. Take a seat.”

Sana sat on her desk and booted up her laptop to open her draft. Meanwhile, Jihyo started organizing everything that was in her sights, making sure she can make the place look ‘comfortable’. As Sana turned around, she immediately noticed that her supposed guest was busy cleaning.

SN: “H-HEY! You don’t have to!”

JH: “But I want to. An environment like this annoys me.”

Sana felt that she too had to clean up because she knew she couldn’t convince Jihyo to stop. She proceeded to also wash the dishes so that her guests wouldn’t. It’s already embarrassing enough that Jihyo was doing the cleaning. In about five minutes or so, they were done. There was definitely more space and it looked like a place you could comfortably stay in. 

JH: “Now doesn’t that look much better?”

SN: “Y-yeah, but you didn’t have to do that!”

JH: “It’s done now anyway. So, where’s your paper?”

SN: “Here.”

Sana handed over her laptop and Jihyo took time to read her draft. The Japanese girl could see that her guest was taking this seriously, thoroughly reading every bit of detail she mentioned on her research. After about ten minutes.

JH: “..Okay done.”

SN: “..So how is it?”

JH: “Honestly it’s fine, really.”

SN: “Are you sure? My prof always criticized my paper though!”

JH: “..Then she’s probably just testing how confident you are with your work? You know they wouldn’t grant a go signal if you don’t have any confidence. I didn’t see any problem. The data was easy to understand and your related studies were concise and credible too.”

*Sana’s POV*

I don’t understand it, but something about her words felt so reassuring. I’ve met a lot of people who say things that you could easily tell were nothing but just straight up flattery or just consoling you. I hate that. I’d rather hear a painful truth than pleasant lies. It hasn’t even been a day since I’ve gotten to know her, but I’m already certain she isn’t one who just says what others just want to hear.

SN: “..I trust your words, Jihyo. Hehe. Thanks for the honest review! And for taking me back home.”

JH: “I guess that’s it then. I’ll be taking my leave, Sana.”

She was about to leave but something probably just came to me at that point. I didn’t want her to leave all of a sudden. She felt like a person that I want to get to know even more. If I let her go at that moment, we might’ve not been able to see each other again, unless fate really moved its strings. However, I strongly believe that we also make our own path with fate.

SN: “..Wait.”

JH: “..Yeah?”

SN: “..You said you don’t have plans tonight, right?”

JH: “That’s right. Why?”

SN: “..Wanna hang out? Hehe.”

JH: “Hmm.. Sure. What do you want to do?”

SN: “Follow me~”

It’s weird because I was aware of the things I was saying, I would’ve stopped after thanking her earlier, but I didn’t even have to push myself in finding whatever way possible so we could talk even a little more. I wanted us to go to a place I know was something she might enjoy based on what we were talking about earlier. 

*3rd Person POV*

Sana took the lead as they went outside the dorm. Two blocks away from her place, they reached their destination.

SN: “Here we are~”

JH: “..An Ice Cream shop?”

SN: “Yeah. I like this one a lot and I’m sure you will too.”

JH: “This is pretty random but I’m kind of in the mood for some ice cream.”

SN: “Two Mint Chocolate please~”

In about a minute, they got their orders. Sana handed over one to Jihyo.

JH: “..You’re right. This is really good.”

SN: “See? I told you~ Let’s sit over there.”

They both sat by the bench. There weren’t any people in the area which was great so they could just continue chatting.

JH: “..So was there anything you wanted to talk about?”

SN: “Nothing in particular. I’m just enjoying the company and conversation, you know?”

JH: “Well I’m enjoying talking to you too, Sana. But I thought you had to work on  your paper?”

SN: “You said it’s fine already, and it somehow gave me a confidence boost should I present it to my professor tomorrow, hehe. It feels great to relax a little~”

Sana stretched herself, enjoying the momentary freedom she got.

JH: “..You really trust my opinion that much?”

SN: “Yup, I do. I’m not making excuses to be lazy or something. If I was, I would’ve stayed at the party. There’s just something with how you spoke that convinced me that everything’s fine. So I’d like to thank you for that!”

JH: “..Then how about we continue from before?”

SN: “..Eh?”

JH: “Wait a sec.”

Jihyo stood up and went to the convenience store across the street. In a few minutes, she returned with a plastic bag containing cans of beer, handing one over to Sana.

JH: “Definitely a nice time to have a drink, right?”

SN: “..You’re right, hehe. Thanks!”

Sana opened her can of beer and had a toast with Jihyo. She drank and felt good as she quenched her thirst from all the talking. 

SN: “Nothing beats a good can of beer when you’re having fun, hehe.”

JH: “You’ve definitely been stressing out with your thesis paper. Let loose a little.”

SN: “It’s strange though. I was drinking earlier but it didn’t taste great.”

JH: “You’re just free from your worries. That’s it.”

A moment of silence came next. However, it didn’t feel awkward at all. Just drinking beer, looking at the night sky’s full moon. There was a sense of peace for Sana. She didn’t expect all this to happen that night. All because of the person beside her.

SN: “..Do you think they’re done with the party?”

JH: “I doubt that. Jeongyeon gets pretty rowdy when she’s drunk. Though I really think she won’t find another partner soon.”

SN: “How long has it been since she broke up with her ex?”

JH: “..Two weeks ago? It was before Christmas eve actually.”

SN: “Wow.. Must’ve been tough to break up right before a very special occasion.”

JH: “Well it’s her fault for not doing her part in the relationship. She often forgot important dates and wouldn’t think of it as a big deal. The moment you lose that relationship is the only time you’d realize its value.”

SN: *Sigh* “That’s why I don’t really like being in a relationship. Sure it’s fun to flirt around with people. But it’s annoying when things get serious already.”

JH: “..Oh? You’ve been in one before?”

Sana shook her head.

JH: “..That’s a surprise. You’re giving off this girlfriend material vibes so I assumed you had one before.”

SN: “I get that all the time, and there have been people who wanted to be in a relationship with me before. But I just don’t like the pressure it gives, the commitment you have to put. It’s like voluntarily losing your freedom.”

JH: “..I guess that’s true.”

SN: “..How about you, Jihyo?”

JH: “I have.. Kind of. Just once. But it didn’t last very long. Around a month?”

SN: “And why did you break up?”

JH: “..I guess it’s because the both of us didn’t really see each other being together.”

The two of them opened another can of beer.

SN: “Well you’re quite the lady killer yourself, hehe.”

JH: “..And what do you mean by that?”

SN: “Hmm.. You give off this vibe that you know how to treat a woman well. You’re good at taking the lead and despite being serious, you have a really cute smile.”

JH: “Really, huh.”

SN: “Yup~ That’s why I’m liking hanging out with you tonight.”

The two of them laughed as they drank more under the moonlight. As time passed, their questions became more and more personal. 

SN: “So what did you see in your ex that attracted you to her?”

JH: “..I guess we have a lot of similarities? We do a lot of things together and have the same interests.”

SN: “Must be really nice~ Having someone you share a lot of things with is amazing.”

JH: “..It does sound good on paper. However you’d also realize that the two of you can be very different individuals as the days go by. But in the end, it wasn’t worth it for me to continue. I knew I could still meet a lot more people out there. Why settle with her immediately?”

SN: “Ohh. Can you describe her to me?”

Jihyo looked at the moon as she thought of a description of her ex-girlfriend.

JH: “..She’s really beautiful. Kind of clumsy though. But she’s very affectionate and likes  cute things. She also doesn’t get angry easily.”

SN: “..Sounds like you still think about her, hehe.”

JH: “Do I?”

SN: “Yeah. If you don’t, you’ve probably kept your description simple.”

JH: “I’d disagree with that. You asked me to describe her and I just did.”

SN: “But have you really forgotten about her?”

JH: “I have, technically. Our separation was kind of mutual. So everything’s fine between us.”

SN: “Oh, that’s possible?”

JH: “Probably because we talked properly in the end. If not, it’s kind of hard to. Anyway, you’re being pretty nosy about my ex. Shouldn’t we change the topic to you?”

SN: “Haha! Alright, ask away~”

The young woman looked at Sana and thought of what to ask her.

JH: “Hmm.. Kind of hard when you haven’t been in a relationship before.”

SN: “Just ask anything then~ It doesn’t have to be on the same wavelength.”

JH: “Okay. Since you’ve been flirting around with people, how far have you gone?”

SN: “..Eh?”

Jihyo had a smirk on her face.

JH: “You said anything, right?”

SN: “..W-well, I’ve gone as far as kissing, you know?”

JH: “..That’s it? Anyone could do that. I’m a great kisser myself.”

SN: “Hey! Are you making fun of me?”

Jihyo laughed.

JH: “I’m not, haha. I just find it cute.”

SN: “Don’t take me for a fool! I’m actually good at kissing!”

JH: “..Try me then.”

The wind suddenly stopped and not a single sound was heard on the streets of Seoul. Jihyo was daring the Japanese girl at that very moment. All the laughter they were having was suddenly gone. The atmosphere became serious. Half a minute passed without saying anything.

JH: “..Guess you couldn’t do it.”

*Sana’s POV*

I didn’t know what came to me. Maybe it’s just the alcohol making me move, but when I blanked out and looked at her lips, I wanted to go for it. Not a single fiber on my body hesitated. I stood up and cupped her face and kissed her. No, I didn’t just kiss her. I was making out with her. 

That was the first time I made out with someone. It felt so good. Not only because I wanted to taste her lips at that moment, but also because she reciprocated my kiss as well. I didn’t know how long it would last, but I wanted to stay in that moment for a very long time. I eventually let go of her lips, slowly realizing what I just did.

SN: “...”

JH: “..I have to admit. You’re an amazing kisser.”

SN: “..Hehe, I told you.”

JH: “..Shall we head back to your dorm?”

SN: “Sure.”

We walked back to my place, but we were holding hands. I kept looking at her every now and then, and so did she. It was a nice feeling, her hand felt really warm enough to make me feel comfortable that cold night. 

SN: “..Thanks for tonight, Jihyo! I really enjoyed it~”

JH: “You stole my line, Sana. You just made my night.”

She was about to leave, but as soon as she turned around to walk away, I grabbed her hand. I didn’t want her to go just yet. She faced me and I stared at her once again, and she also did the same. I was lost in her eyes and so was she. I knew she wanted more, and so did I. 

The next thing I knew, I pulled her back inside and locked the door, we fell on my bed with her on top of me, and we started making out again. I blanked out and I didn’t know what happened next but I was certain I felt the warmth of her body with my own. I don’t know how to put it into words. I just wanted that moment to last forever. It was my first time.

*3rd Person POV*

An hour has passed since that moment, Sana and Jihyo were fixing themselves up. They haven’t really spoken to each other for a few minutes. But one thing they were certain of is that they had a connection, one that’s more than friends. But less than lovers, it’s too early to say. Sana eventually talked.

SN: “..So, what are we? Friends.. with benefits?”

JH: “..No. We’re more than that..”

SN: “..But I don’t think we can say we’re dating. We’re not.”

Jihyo looked at Sana and replied.

JH: “..I agree.”

SN: “..But I really liked our connection.. And the things we did.”

JH: “..So just to be clear, we both don’t want anything serious, right?”

SN: “Yeah.. I don’t want any commitments, Jihyo. But I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. And I’m sure you don’t either.”

JH: “..That’s right.”

SN: “Okay. So at least that’s clear, hehe.”

Jihyo and Sana smiled at each other, finally coming to an understanding about what they were, and what they would do moving forward. A relationship with emotional and physical intimacy, but without any commitment. A situationship.

JH: “..See you again real soon, Sana.”

SN: “Take care and be careful on your way back!”

With that, Jihyo left the apartment. It was a night totally unexpected by Sana, but one that she knew she would really remember. Meeting someone who shared a similar perspective as hers when it comes to relationships. They both liked the good side of it, while also agreeing what to not have within this arrangement. Having all this in mind, Sana went to bed, feeling the best she has ever been.

The night passed and morning came, Sana woke up filled with energy. She noticed that Momo was still in bed as she probably got home pretty late. 

She wasn’t sure if things went well with her but she didn’t come back home immediately, she assumed that it’s all good. She’ll definitely hear from her best friend later during the day. For now, she had to focus and present her draft to her professor.

That afternoon, she showed her updated research paper to her professor. Trusting Jihyo’s opinion, she showed confidence with her work unlike how she usually did. In turn, her professor complimented her for the first time, saying that if she’s able to keep it up, it’s possible for her to get good results with her work. Hearing this motivated her even more, and she felt that Jihyo was the one responsible for giving her that confidence in herself. She thanked her professor and promised to work even harder.

The day passed and she returned to her dorm. Her best friend’s schedule that day will also be finished around that time, so this may be a good opportunity for her to get updates about what happened last night. 

She soon arrived at her dorm, and it was a mess again already. I can’t be helped since both her and Momo weren’t really the organized type. But hearing how Jihyo wanted a tidy place, she put in the effort in cleaning up while waiting for her best friend. 

It was tough work considering she doesn’t usually do this. But it was also a positive change that she felt was all because of Jihyo. 

In about thirty minutes, Momo arrived at their place, surprised with how everything was cleaned up again.

MM: “Woah, you tidied it up again. What happened to you? You’re usually the lazy one.”

SN: “Hey, I’m not! Anyway, it feels much better to stay indoors like this, right?”

MM: “Yeah, I get what you mean. Anyway, I stopped by the convenience store to grab us dinner. Here you go.”

SN: “Thanks!”

They heated their food in the microwave and then sat by the table, ready to have their meal. As they began to eat, Sana got started with the questioning.

SN: “..So how did last night go with Dahyun?”

MM: “I knew you’d ask about it, hehe. It’s all good. She gave me her number and wanted us to hang out again this weekend.”

SN: “..That’s it?”

MM: “What do you mean by that’s it? It’s good progress!”

SN: “I thought things got spicy with the two of you. Like scoring a kiss or something. You got home pretty late already, right?”

MM: “That’s too fast! I don’t want to look desperate, Sa-tang.”

SN: “But if you’re slow, someone else will take her away from you.”

MM: “I’m not taking any advice from someone who’s been single all her life.”

SN: “..Umm, about that..”

Sana then explained about what happened to her that night.

MM: “..EH!? I didn’t expect that!”

SN: “I feel the same way, really. But I guess we really clicked?”

MM: “Still, you said you don’t want to be in a relationship, right?”

SN: “No, you got it all wrong. We’re not dating at all! We kind of have this emotional connection, but we both agreed to not have the commitment a relationship would have. So it won’t get toxic at all, hehe.”

MM: “..So like a situationship?”

SN: “..Situationship?

Sana got confused. This was the first time she heard of the term. 

MM: “Yeah. Like, more than friends, but less than lovers. A non-committal relationship.”

SN: “Ohh.. Yeah something like that! We both don’t want something serious. But the time we spent together last night was worthwhile.”

MM: “..Are you sure about this?”

SN: “..What do you mean?”

MM: “A situationship isn’t really clearly defined. You can easily misunderstand your intentions with each other. You might end up getting hurt.”

SN: “..Well I think we made our intentions clear last night. So it’ll be fine~ I have other things to focus on as well like my thesis. Our setup is gonna work.”

MM: “If you say so. So have you made plans with her yet? Like your next date or something?”

That was when Sana realized that she forgot something really important.

SN: “AH! I FORGOT TO GET HER NUMBER!!”

MM: “Stupid. Haha.”

SN: “You’re one to talk, Momoring! Help me out here! Do you have any idea how I can contact her?”

MM: “How the hell would I know? It’s your problem. Find a way for yourself.”

SN: “Geez. Sometimes I question myself why I consider you my best friend.”

MM: “Don’t worry. I ask that to myself too.”

SN: “Ah, maybe I should search for her profile online.

MM: “Now you’re thinking.”

Sana tried to search for Jihyo’s profile on different social media platforms. Unfortunately, she wasn’t really able to find any good leads.

SN: “..She probably has a different name online.”

MM: “Park Jihyo is probably a common name. Give up yet?”

SN: “You wish.”

After a while, she had an idea which was to check her followers on Instagram. Her instinct was right. There was an account that recently followed her under the name “_zyozyo”. She checked the photos and it was really Jihyo. She already took the initiative to connect with her. 

SN: “It’s her! She already followed me. She must’ve searched for me when we forgot to exchange contact information!”

MM: “Well you’re a lot easier to find since your surname is pretty rare.”

SN: “But she still tried to find me~”

MM: “Why don’t you try chatting with her then?”

Sana messaged Jihyo afterwards.

“Hi, Jihyo! Thanks for adding me~ I also forgot to ask your socials but I’m glad you found me! See you soon?”

After sending her message, Momo noticed how her best friend looked very excited. It’s been a long time since she saw her not feeling stressed out with her school work. Whatever effect this situationship has with Sana, at least it’s having a positive impact.

SN: “I wonder if she’s busy right now..”

Her phone suddenly vibrated with a notification on Instagram. She immediately opened it knowing it was Jihyo replying to her.

“Wanna hang out tomorrow?”

*Sana’s POV*

I didn’t hesitate to say yes. It wasn’t a question of what and where, it was simply who I’m gonna spend my time with this weekend. I know for myself I was already excited to hangout with her again even without knowing where we’ll go or what we’ll do. 

That’s more than enough. I asked her if we could meet in front of our university, but she insisted on just picking me up at the dorm.

MM: “Looks like you’re already busy this weekend, hehe.”

SN: “Yup~ I’m excited!”

*3rd Person POV*

The next day, Sana was already ready for the day, waking up early to prepare and picking up a nice dress to wear. She patiently waited for Jihyo to arrive, even though she was already done an hour before their agreed time to meet at 10am. Every now and then, she kept on looking at her phone and out the window, wondering when she would arrive. About five minutes before the call time, Sana saw Jihyo’s car driving closer to the dorm. She excitedly stood up, about to go down the dormitory.

SN: “See you, Momoring. Good luck today!”

MM: “Enjoy, Sa-tang.”

Sana exited their room, and immediately went downstairs, and then outside. Jihyo was already out of her car, typing on her phone, probably trying to message the Japanese girl that she’s already there. She then hurried to her side and eventually got the younger girl’s attention.

SN: “Good morning~”

JH: “Morning, Sana. You look like you’ve been waiting for a while.”

SN: “I was, but don’t mind it! I was just excited for today.”

JH: “..That dress looks really good on you?”

SN: “You think so? I like your getup too~ Simple but really cool!”

JH: “Thanks. So, shall we go? Let’s have brunch first.”

SN: “Sure~”

*Sana’s POV*

I haven’t been excited like this for a long time. It was something new to me, and one that definitely held a lot of promises. Just being able to connect with someone you share a lot of similarities with emotionally can bring about a more positive aspect in your life. Now it feels like I’m more ready to face the unclear future all thanks to her. Our Saturday started off by having lunch at a local Korean diner. She said it’s one of her favorite family-ran restaurants near the area and thought that I’d like it too. She knew I like spicy foods and was certain it’s up to my standards.

SN: “Wow.. This soup is delicious!”

JH: “I told you, right? Perfect to get started on a weekend.”

SN: “Yeah! So you come here often?”

JH: “I do. It’s cheap but the dishes are really great! I want it to become more popular but at the same time gatekeep it so it’ll never be full, you know what I mean?”

SN: “I know! Back in Japan, I also have this place that I really like but I don’t want more locals to discover, hehe. If ever we find ourselves in my hometown, maybe I could take you there~”

JH: “Cool.”

Simple moments like this with Jihyo feels really nice. When I was a bit younger, I only wanted special extravagant things. Going to expensive restaurants, faraway trips and more. I didn’t really expect this difference to work out for me. Like, who knows what’s next?

SN: “..So what do you have in mind after this?”

JH: “Hmm.. Honestly, I haven’t thought of anything. Let’s see where the day will take us.”

SN: “Sounds pretty exciting, hehe.”

After our brunch, we headed back to the car and she drove, cruising to whatever place we might find interesting. I have to admit, not having a set plan is so me as well. It felt free and had no restrictions. 

This kind of adventurous experience wasn’t one I experienced with anyone else. We ended up stopping at Zzang Games which was a pretty popular gaming arcade in Hongdae. I’m not really a good gamer but I do like to play. Fortunately there weren’t that many people when we came since it was around lunch time.

SN: “You’re good at playing games, right?”

JH: “Yeah, I kind of become really competitive when playing actually.”

SN: “Can you show it to me then?”

JH: “Alright.”

Jihyo started off playing a racing game. I could tell she really likes driving. Plus she looks really cool and serious when she’s at the steering wheel. She got first place and looked really happy when she won.

SN: “Wow, that’s amazing!”

JH: “Told you, hehe. Come on, let’s play something.”

We played a lot of games afterwards. Basketball, a shooter game, and so on. Eventually we arrived at the air hockey, going against each other. We haven’t even started but I already felt how she really wanted to win. She scored a few goals right from the get-go, but that was to be expected.

SN: “Ah! I can’t win against you! You’re too good!”

JH: “..I know you can do it, hehe.”

I did my best going against her, and soon was able to score one.

SN: “YAY! I GOT ONE~”

JH: “See? Now let’s continue!”

I’m sure she didn’t want me to notice, but as we continued to play, I could see that she was holding back and was somehow intentionally missing my attacks. Some people might think that she’s just trying to make me feel happy if I win, but I thought of a different light about it. When we were talking before, she told me that she always wants to win no matter what. However, it felt like she held back for me. Maybe because she wanted me to be happy too.

SN: “I WIN!”

JH: “You just have to believe in yourself, Sana. Hehe.”

SN: “..You think I didn’t notice that you’re taking it easy on me?”

JH: “..W-what are you talking about? I wasn’t.”

SN: “Don’t lie~ Anyway it’s fine. Thanks for letting me win!”

JH: “I didn’t let you win. You did really well.”

SN: “Yeah, yeah. You just have a soft spot for me~ Come on let’s play something else~”

We went to the second floor and it was filled with a lot of claw machines. Like in Japan, I noticed that these are really popular in Korea too. There was a wide selection of plushies that you could win there. We went around to find one that had a stuffed toy that we really like. One eventually caught my eye, a really cute unicorn.

JH: “..You like that?”

SN: “..Eh?”

JH: “I’ll get that for you. Wait for a bit.”

She took the initiative to win that plushie for me. It only took her two attempts and she got it. I should probably get used to how good she is when it comes to games. 

JH: “Here you go.”

SN: “Thanks! It’s so cute!”

JH: “I’m just wondering, why did you want this unicorn?”

SN: “..It kind of reminds me of you, hehe.”

JH: “..Oh? In what way?”

SN: “Because you feel unreal. Like out of this world~”

JH: “..That was smooth.”

I noticed that she blushed. She must’ve really liked what I said. Honestly it feels like she’s not real. She fits a lot of the qualities that I like from a person, which I thought was impossible to find. Plus she looks really cute when she’s happy and smiling, just like this unicorn.

SN: “Then I need to get you a plushie as well~”

JH: “..Huh? No, it's okay.”

SN: “I insist! So can you choose? Anything here that you think represents me?”

JH: “Hmm..”

She started to look around, but ultimately backtracked from where we came, just by the entrance of the second floor.

JH: “..This one.”

SN: “..A Shiba inu?”

JH: “Yeah. You look just like one.”

SN: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

JH: “It’s because you always look happy and you give off this positive vibe whenever I’m with you. I know it’s only been two days since we met but that’s the feeling that you give me, hehe.”

Jihyo definitely had a way with her words, I tried to look distracted looking at the claw machine supposedly ‘analyzing’ how I could catch the toy she eyed. 

SN: “..A-alright, let’s do this!”

I’m not really good at claw machines, so I had to do my best to get it for her. It was embarrassing because I couldn’t count how many attempts I’ve already made but I’m barely even able to lift up the plushie from where it sat.

JH: “..Umm, I could try to get it instead you kno-”

SN: “NO! That breaks the purpose of what I’m doing right now! It only matters if I’m the one who gets it for you!”

At that point, I was certain I spent more money than just buying one from a store. Still, it’s the thought that counts. After putting in all the effort of capturing that plushie, I was able to get it.

SN: “YAY! FINALLY!”

JH: “Good job!”

SN: “Here you go~”

JH: “Thanks, Sana. I’ll take good care of it.”

SN: “You better!”

JH: “Anything else you want to play here?”

SN: “Hmm.. Oh, that one!”

JH: “..A 4-Cut Photobooth?”

SN: “Yeah~ Let’s take some photos to wrap up~”

I wanted to keep memories of us spending time today, and this would definitely be perfect for that. Our first time hanging out. Or is it a date? You date in a situationship, right? We even date friends for fun so it’s okay to call it like that.. I’m sure we will do more of this again and again, but the first one will always be the most important. We printed copies for both of us and left the arcade. We didn’t notice the time but the sun was almost setting. It was a perfect time to finish the day.

JH: “Ah, I know where we can go.”

We boarded the car and Jihyo took the wheel, taking us to Ttukseom Han River Park. It was quite a common location for Korean Dramas due to the beautiful landscape, nature and architectural design. Plus there were a lot of nice restaurants and cafes there. Still, it was quiet most of the time, a perfect location to wrap up this adventure. We were able to arrive in time just to see the sunset.

SN: “It’s so beautiful~”

JH: “Yeah. After exerting all that energy, it’s really relaxing too.”

SN: “Do you often come here?”

JH: “Not really. I think the last time was one year ago?”

SN: “So this is a special occasion, hehe.”

JH: “Yeah..”

I looked at her as she watched the sunset. The way that the sun kissed her skin only radiated her beautiful face even more. My eyes were locked onto her lips. Before I could even react, I saw myself planting a kiss on that which attracted me. She didn’t pull herself back, and when I released her lips, she had the most gentle smile towards me, holding my hand afterwards as we continued to look at the sunset. Once the sun was down, we went to the nearby cafe called Mouse Rabbit Coffee for a light meal. We also had a slice of cake, macaroons and more. It was a really nice place and the ambience too was really comfortable. I’d definitely want to come back here.

JH: “..So, did you enjoy it?”

SN: “Of course! I feel really refreshed right now. I’m sure that I’ll be able to concentrate on my thesis paper afterwards.”

JH: “Haha. Glad you liked it. I also enjoyed myself. Hanging out with you was really fun.”

SN: “I’m a fun person, right? If our schedules are free, how about next weekend too?”

JH: Sure thing. But this time, you take the lead.”

SN: “..Eh? Alright. But I don’t know how to drive.”

JH: “That’s fine. I’ll do the driving. Don’t worry.”

SN: “That’s settled then! I’ll let you know if I’m busy this coming weekend.”

I’m really liking this situation. Just enjoying ourselves, having fun, flirting and all, but no strings attached. It helps me relieve all my current frustrations and I don’t have to be committed to them at all. It all works out because we both want the same thing. I can see this going on for a long time. It’s like having a partner that will be there for you whenever you need someone to be with, someone to hug and feel warm.

*3rd Person POV* 

They finished the night with Jihyo driving Sana back to her dormitory.

SN: “Thanks so much for today, Jihyo~”

JH: “Looking forward to the next time!”

Before exiting the car though, Sana and Jihyo looked at each other’s eyes, faces moving closer and finally making out for a few minutes. Eventually, she let go of the woman that made her happy that day.

SN: “..I’ll message you during the week, hehe. Good night, partner~”

JH: “..Partner?”

SN: “Yeah. We’re like partners when you think about it. We like to do the same things and have this kind of connection with each other, right?”

JH: “..I like the sound of that. Talk to you soon then, partner!”

Sana then exited the car and waved goodbye as Jihyo drove away. She was certainly in a good mood after all the events that happened that day, she even forgot that she spent most of her money already that week. She entered her dormitory and saw Momo was there, busy with her phone but still wearing her clothes when she went out as well..

SN: “I’m back~”

MM: “You took a while. I’m guessing you already had dinner?”

SN: “Yup~”

MM: “Okay, then I’ll eat your portion too.”

SN: “So how was your date with Dahyunie?”

MM: “..You usually don’t ask those things. I’m sure you’re only asking because you wanted to talk about your day, don’t you?”

SN: “Y-yeah, but I’m also curious about my best friend’s progress!”

Momo began talking about how her day went, slowly getting to know the girl she likes with a simple lunch and just chatting with each other for about two hours or so. It didn’t look much, but Momo was happy getting to know Dahyun more and having that opportunity they had by themselves.

SN: “..It doesn’t sound anything special.”

MM: “I think it is though. If I make any further advances, she might find it awkward. Besides, even for me, I want to be sure that I really like her for who she is.”

SN: “..You have a point.”

MM: “And how about you then?”

It was Sana’s turn and she happily talked about everything that happened, except for some of the details like kissing.

MM: “..So that’s why you’ve been holding that plushie ever since coming back.”

SN: “Of course~”

MM: “It sounds like you’re a couple already.”

SN: “We’re not! It’s a non-committal thing and we’re just enjoying ourselves.”

MM: “..So you didn’t say any I love yous or something?”

SN: “Why would I? It’s nothing serious and we both agreed to it.”

MM: “..And how do you imagine the end is gonna be?”

SN: “..Eh?”

MM: “I don’t think you’ll stay like that forever, Sa-tang. It’s either one of you really falls in love, or moves on to someone else.”

Momo’s words made Sana have a brief moment to think about what she said.

SN: “Well that’s bound to happen. Regardless, our intentions are clear so no one will get hurt~ hehe.”

MM: “If you say so.”

*Sana’s POV*

Jihyo and I talked about what we wanted and didn’t want. Momo was just overthinking that I’m taking this seriously. She doesn’t realize that this situationship I have with Jihyo has been helping me feel more optimistic and distracting me from the pressure at university. I’m not really hoping for anything more. 

SN: “I know you’re worried about me, Momoring. But I assure you that everything’s okay with me and Jihyo~ Just focus on the thing that’s going on between you and Dahyunie, alright?”

MM: “..Okay. Then don’t come running to me when something goes wrong.”

SN: “Nothing’s wrong~”

This is probably what’s different between me and my best friend. I understand why she doesn’t get our situation. From how she spoke and behaved, she wanted to make sure of her feelings towards Dahyun, probably to the point that she'd like to live the rest of her life with her? I’m not like that. I don’t see that happening between me and Jihyo. Heck, we only spent two days together. And this is all just for fun. Aren’t we too young to think about who we want to spend the rest of our lives with?

*3rd Person POV*

Time passed, Sana has been enjoying her time whenever she was with Jihyo. They went to places, old and new, flirted with each other, and gave the physical intimacy that made them feel wanted, without having the emotional dependence. They even celebrated Jihyo’s birthday together, which was a very special time for Sana considering how it was her that Jihyo chose to spend time with on the day and not her friends. The freedom gave them a sense of fulfillment that allowed them to explore more about what they really want in their lives. It was simply perfect for Sana. Or so she thought.

About two months in since their situationship began, they were about to graduate. Before everything began between them, Sana always had the intention to return to Japan upon receiving her Bachelor’s degree. This was one of the reasons why she didn’t want to have a real relationship with anyone while studying overseas. But now, her thoughts have changed from what it initially was.

MM: “..So you’re not going back to Osaka?”

SN: “Nope. Honestly, I really like it here in Korea and I started looking for a job here too. Other than that, I’ll be able to continue going on dates with Jihyo too.”

MM: “..You sure it’s not only because of Jihyo.”

SN: “..O-of course not! Wouldn’t that be weird if I put her first over my future?”

MM: “Or you could see your future with her, hehe.”

SN: “I’ve already lost count how many times we’ve talked about this. We’re just in a situationship.”

MM: “Okay good. So how do you plan on living here?”

SN: “Well, we could still share the same apartment while we’re still new hires.”

MM: “Uhh, I don’t think that’ll work. Dahyunie and I will start living together.”

SN: “..Eh? Really?”

MM: “Yup. We talked about it before. Even if she still has 1 more year in university, we’d like to stay together.”

SN: “Wow.. T-that’s great!”

*Sana’s POV*

It took a while but Momo and Dahyunie did become a couple. Honestly, I didn’t expect the both of them to click. Then again, you’ll never expect what comes in your life. The same goes for me and Jihyo. I never thought I’d meet someone who I had a lot of similarities in just some random encounter.

MM: “So what time are you leaving today? I thought you’re meeting up with Jihyo?”

SN: “Ah, r-right! I’m about to. See you, Momoring!”

Jihyo and I agreed to meet up today at our university library because it’s the week of our final exams. She thought it would be great if we studied together. I really appreciated her gesture since I’m not that smart, and she wanted to help me out.  We haven’t really talked much the past few days since we had our final defense for our thesis papers the week before, so I missed her so much already. Oh, and the defense went well too. 

Meeting her at the library was a bit unusual I have to admit. We couldn’t be loud like we always were. And there was less talking going on since we’re supposed to study, right? Still, when I saw her, I felt really happy because I’m able to see her again. This time without the worries of my research paper. Following this hell week of the final exams, nothing’s gonna distract me from spending time with her.

I gestured my hand waving hi to her and she smiled, waving back as she sat down beside me and took out a big book that’s likely one of the subjects she’s taking. PDAs aren’t really allowed in the university grounds, but I snatched a quick peck on her cheeks and whispered to her.

SN: “..I missed you, hehe.”

JH: “..Clingy, aren’t you?”

Of course I am. This situationship has been keeping me sane all this time and I’m just happy that it’ll all be over soon. Even though I haven’t really fully devoted my time in studying the past few months since I hung out with her often, I feel like I can do more work in less time because time spent with her was always worthwhile. Work-life balance, right?

We started to study in silence. I don’t know but sitting beside her as she focused on reading her book, it made me feel motivated to study hard too. It was simply perfect that I’m completely fine if time would just stop at that moment. However, I also didn’t know that at that time, challenges would start testing what Jihyo really was to me. A stranger slowly walked towards us, eventually stopping right in front. I raised my head and saw this woman. She looked very feminine, composed and of course, really beautiful. By that time I already felt that she wasn’t any stranger. I saw Jihyo raise her head and had this look of familiarity.

JH: “Oh, you’re here, Mina.”

I felt uneasy. Not because of her name, but rather how Jihyo casually acknowledged her presence. When I think about it, this was the first ever person within Jihyo’s circle besides Jeongyeon-unnie that I’ve met. As much as I wanted to think that she was probably just the same as Jeongyeon-unnie, it didn’t feel that way for me. 

MN: “..Can I sit here with you both?”

JH: “Of course.”

She said both. This meant that this person acknowledged that Jihyo is here with me, not just sitting together by chance. At the very least that makes me feel more confident that I have this kind of status to her, that I’m someone familiar to Jihyo. She sat right across from her, while I’m on the side. It felt like I’m fighting for her attention even though that’s not why we’re here. 

JH: “Oh, right. Sana, this is Mina.”

MN: “..Hello.”

I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to her, especially not in a positive way. I just nodded and smiled at her. This was the library anyway and we should keep quiet, right?”

JH: “..So you’re gonna study for the final exams too?”

MN: “Yeah.”

I don’t know but it feels like there’s something missing. Maybe it’s not a big deal for her, but I wanted Jihyo to tell her that we had a thing going on. She didn’t have to say anything like a relationship. Even just a situationship or something along those lines. Is it normal to not share about this kind of arrangement with other people? Honestly I don’t know, but I don’t understand why I’m looking for such kind of assurance.

We didn’t talk much afterwards, but my concentration really went down with the presence of this other girl. Why did she have to join us? The more I see her stay here, the more I get frustrated knowing nothing else about her besides her first name. Who is she for Jihyo?

All the questions that come to my mind are just really stopping me from thinking properly. I didn’t realize that it’s been an hour and I barely made any progress. The library will be closing and it feels like I just wasted the whole time I’m here. I wonder, would it be strange to ask about how they know each other? I’ll probably try doing that later.

*3rd Person POV*

The library made the announcement that they will be closing soon and advised the students to return the books they’ve used or already checkout those that they will be borrowing to bring out of the library.

JH: “..Guess it’s about time we leave, Sana.”

SN: “..Yeah.”

MN: “..Will you come here again tomorrow?”

JH: “..Huh? Oh yeah we’ll-”

SN: “Jihyo and I already have other plans so we won’t. Hehe”

MN: “Oh, okay. Then see you around.”

JH: “Talk to you next time, Mina.”

The elegant woman already packed her belongings and left the library, not really leaving any clue for Sana as to who she was. Jihyo and Sana also exited the library after returning some books.

JH: “..Hey, Sana. What did you mean earlier that we have other plans?”

SN: “Ah, I was thinking if we could study at my place instead? I couldn’t concentrate that well in the library.”

JH: “Oh, sure thing.”

I couldn’t admit that it was all because of that girl. I really wanted to know who she was, but Jihyo didn’t say anything. The way that girl looked at me though, it felt like she knew me or something. I’m being too suspicious of her, but I still don’t know why it bothers me so much.

JH: “..You look like you’re thinking about something.”

SN: “..Eh? N-no, not really. I’m just thinking about what we’ll have for dinner!”

JH: “That’s some serious looking dinner you have in mind.”

SN: “..It’s hard to decide sometimes, you know?”

JH: “I know, but I’m sure you want to know more about Mina.”

Am I that predictable? Or is Jihyo really just that intuitive? I really like how she can understand me, but at the same time I feel so defenseless at times. I can’t help myself but just pause and nod my head a little, embarrassed that it’s the truth.

JH: “Haha. I thought so. She’s Jeongyeon’s ex-girlfriend.”

SN: “..Eh?”

JH: “We’re actually classmates and pretty close as well. I was actually responsible for them meeting each other. So I’m kind of in the middle of those two.”

SN: “Does she.. know me?”

JH: “..Well I told her about you some time ago. She’s not really the talkative type, plus we’re in the library studying so..”

I wanted to ask her what she said about me, because I too was confused how she would introduce me to her. “I’m in this situationship with Sana?” Does that sound.. normal? 

JH: “..You’re jealous?”

SN: “..W-what!? O-OF COURSE NOT!”

JH: “Haha, of course you shouldn’t be. Come on, I’m hungry.”

I shouldn’t be jealous? What did she mean by that? Well it’s true.. We’re in this situationship and they’re just friends. It shouldn’t bother me. Although it also made me think, should you even feel jealous when you’re in a situationship? I didn’t try to ask any further.

The next day, we continued with just staying at my dorm. Luckily, Momo wasn’t returning back until late evening so we had the entire place for ourselves. It won’t be that awkward as well. Her and Jihyo actually met before and they’re fine with each other. What I meant was that my best friend would likely cause distractions every now and then if she were here.

It actually went pretty well. I was able to concentrate on studying and having her by my side helped me out a lot whenever something really confused me. After a few hours, we finally wrapped it up and was about to have dinner at my place. We already ordered pizza in advance so we didn’t have to wait long. It was really nice and comfy and chatting about random stuff afterwards made it even more worthwhile. When I think about it, wouldn’t it be really amazing if we were living together and having moments like this?

SN: “..Hey, partner.”

JH: “Yup?”

SN: “What do you think of living together after we graduate?”

JH: “..What?”

SN: “..J-just an idea! You know, it can be really fun, hehe. Momo will be staying with Dahyunie so I won’t really have a roommate.”

Asking  this question made me nervous. A huge part of me wanted her to say sure, but after saying that, I felt that it was too much for me to ask.

JH: “..You plan on staying in Seoul to work?”

SN: “Y-yeah! It came to my mind not too long ago. I grew to love everything here and it would be a pity to suddenly go back to Japan. I could still come back to my hometown during the holidays, right?”

JH: “That’s true.”

SN: “And that’s why the thought of living together came to my mind, hehe.”

JH: “..Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

SN: “..R-really?”

JH: “Yeah. It sounds like a hassle. I mean, it kind of ruins the excitement of seeing each other again after a while, right?”

SN: “R-right! No problem at all, hehe..”

Yeah, I shouldn’t have asked. It did sound promising at first, but it feels like we’ll eventually get tired of spending time together if that happens and I don’t want that. My emotions just got the better of me and I also thought of Momoring’s plans. We’re in a different set up. She’s officially dating Dahyun, and I’m just in a situationship. I don’t think living together is something that two people in a situationship would do.

*3rd Person POV*

Their conversation went back to something more casual, also talking about their final exams. After about an hour, it was time for Jihyo to leave as it was getting late. Before leaving though, Sana hugged her partner from the back, turning her around and kissing her passionately. The younger girl returned the favor, reciprocating the intimate moment they had. After letting go of each other’s lips, they both smiled at each other warmly. 

JH: “..Do you wanna celebrate or something after graduation?”

SN: “I’d love that, hehe.”

JH: “Alright. Then let’s work hard and make sure we do!”

SN: “Definitely~”

JH: “See you tomorrow, Sana.”

Jihyo made her exit and Sana was by herself again. As time passed, she started to realize what was and wasn’t really part of a situationship. Still, nothing beats the company that Jihyo is able to give her, overcoming every obstacle she has so far. After a few minutes, Momo arrived back at their place.

SN: “Oh, you’re back.”

MM: “Yeah, I met Jihyossi at the lobby. So how’s your studies?”

SN: “Pretty good, actually. I think I’m ready for the finals.”

MM: “Good. I thought you’d just end up making out the whole day.”

SN: “Hey! We’re not like that!”

Days passed and Sana continued to study in preparation for her exams. Jihyo was there helping her out too and the week of the finals came. Because of her hard work, she was confident enough that she’s able to pass all her subjects. 

And she did. Being able to do so made her really happy that after all her worries of not possibly making it due to partying most of her university life, she’s still able to graduate. Yet an underlying reason that she and Jihyo had plans of celebrating was the fact she was more excited than ever. 

Sana and Jihyo went to Lotte World, with the plan to enjoy their time at the theme park and later on staying the night at the hotel. The amusement park was definitely fun and exciting especially when going on dates, bringing out the two’s inner child as they both are able to match the other’s energy, a connection that Sana only found with her partner.

This too was their last date before they get started with their life as businesspeople. Though they might have less time to see each other again considering that both of them will be working at different offices located a bit distant from each other, they’re able to finally earn a living, making all the possibilities of doing more exciting things together. This was what Sana thought moving forward. 

After a fun time at the theme park, they made their way back to the hotel, first having dinner at the buffet restaurant, then wrapping it up with some wine. Though what they did that day was costly, both of them didn’t mind. Every penny was worth it for Sana, content with what the two of them shared.

After their dinner, they made their way to their hotel room. Sana already knew what’s coming next. Upon entering, she locked the door and immediately threw herself on Jihyo’s arms, both of them falling on the bed. The Japanese girl started to kiss the woman that she had an emotional connection with, wanting nothing else but her that very night. Jihyo fought back, pushing herself up and pinning Sana down on the top of the bed instead, she smiled and started attacking the woman that waited for this very moment. Everything else followed, sharing a very passionate and intimate evening.

Hours passed with both of them exhausted but ecstatic, they both cuddled each other on bed, keeping each other warm, not saying a word for a long time as words weren’t necessary for them to communicate the happiness they both felt. After some time, Sana spoke. 

SN: “..Did you have fun?”

JH: “Of course. I have zero regrets from the very beginning.”

SN: “Hehe, me too~”

Sana kissed Jihyo on the cheek and then snuggled herself closer. They were silent once again which also brought Sana into thinking about the future.

SN: “..We won’t be able to spend much time together after this.. Right?”

JH: “..Yeah, but that’s kind of expected. Having more responsibility in life and all.”

SN: “I’m just worried.. I’m gonna miss these moments..”

JH: “It’s not like we won’t do this ever again, Sana.” 

Hearing Jihyo say this made Sana more comfortable. Having Jihyo by her side made her more confident facing the unknown. But since they’re both starting to work as new hires, the uncertainty came up once again. Still, the reassurance from her partner’s words made those worries go away.

SN: “..Thanks, partner. Hehe.. Let’s get plenty of rest~”

JH: “Goodnight, Sana.”

Time went on and they got started with their corporate life. Being part of the business world was far different from what many would think. The promise of earning your first paycheck and splurging it in any way you want is definitely promising. However, the constant pressure to perform, be independent and more are the variables that made office work all the more stressful. Of course Sana met good colleagues around her. 

However, just having good people around you wasn’t enough to give you that security inside the white walls of a company. Having to live her life by herself and rent her own apartment space was one of the steps Sana had to take as an independent person. 

However, everytime the week hits Friday, everything seems brighter than day with the expectations to meet with her partner. On the weekend, they would meet up, go on a date and talk about how their week went. Chatting on the weekends hasn't been that common for them so it was a really nice opportunity to talk about so many things whenever they see each other again. This made Sana also realize why not really living together sounded better. Of course she also kept in touch with her best friend, Momo, who was happily living together with Dahyun at that time.

About two months has passed since they started working, Sana met up with Momo on the weekend since Jihyo told her that she had some other things to do at that time. The two best friends met up at one of the local bars at Itaewon. They haven’t seen each other for a long time and often just chat online, so it was a really nice opportunity to check up on how they have been. Sana saw her best friend sitting at the bar stool already having a glass, not looking very energetic. She approached and sat down beside her.

SN: “Hi, Momoring~”

MM: “Oh, Sana-ssi. You’re here!”

SN: “It’s been a while~ How have you been?”

MM: “So-so.”

SN: “..Eh? Why?”

MM: “It’s been busy at work, so I had a bit of an argument with Dahyun before going here.”

SN: “What happened?”

Momo told her about what happened between her and Dahyun. Basically yesterday, she was stressed with her shift having to deal with a lot of customers. When she got home and Dahyun wanted to chat and cuddle, she didn’t want to because she was too tired. That was when they started to have an argument.

SN: “..And you haven’t fixed it since?”

MM: “I didn’t have time. I had to go to work, then she also had to leave early for school. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.”

SN: “..Yeah, that’s tough.”

*Sana’s POV* 

I guess those things that I dislike in relationships are starting to show up between Momoring and Dahyunie. That’s why I’m not in for it. Sometimes, the relationship itself becomes more like a task rather than something that makes you feel good. I guess that’s a good reason why Jihyo insisted that we don’t live together. Yeah it makes sense. We’re in this situationship. Living together shouldn’t be an option.

MM: “..But it’s okay, hehe.”

SN: “..Eh?”

MM: “It’s normal to have fights every now and then. What’s important is how we patch things up. So I’ll definitely try talking to her later tonight when I get back.”

In a way she had to adjust. It’s annoying, honestly. It sounds good on paper but for how long can either of them be patient when it comes to these conflicts? It’s probably okay for now. But you’ll just never know in the future.

MM: “How about you, Sa-tang?”

SN: “..Eh?”

MM: “..Your life, I mean. Is everything okay?”

SN: “Ah.. Yeah! I have pretty much adjusted to my job already. Then Jihyo and I have often been seeing each other on weekends.”

MM: “Really? So why haven’t you two started to officially date?”

SN: “Why should we?”

MM: “You’ve been in that situationship for months now, and you haven’t really met up with any other girl, right?”

SN: “..Y-yeah, but is it required to see someone else during a situationship? I don’t think so.”

MM: “You might end up hurt, you know.”

It’s not like I want to find anyone else, I just think it’s a bother. Jihyo’s been fine but ever since I’ve been in this situationship, I haven’t really been interested in anyone else. Honestly I’m perfectly fine the way things are and I can’t ask for anything more, right?

SN: “How we are right now is what’s comfortable for both of us. We don’t need to change anything because our intentions have been clear from the very beginning. So stop asking about it, Momoring. I’m getting tired of it.”

MM: “Alright. I’ll stop.” 

I didn’t have any doubts about what Jihyo and I have been doing. That’s also why she didn’t want us to live together. She helped me understand what we could and shouldn’t do. Yet I didn’t know from that time that being in a situationship wasn’t only highs. 

After some time drinking with my best friend, we went out on the streets of Itaewon, about to go back to our respective places. Momo was feeling much better and said she was ready to patch things up with her girlfriend, and I’m glad that talking to her about it relieved those worries away. On our way to the station though, I saw something that made me understand something that I haven’t really thought of in a situationship.

MM: “..Hey, Sa-tang. Isn’t that Jihyo?”

SN: “..Eh?”

MM: “..Who’s that beside her?”

We were right behind her, and she wasn’t alone. She was with that girl again, Mina, walking side by side, smiling as they talked to each other. Right at that moment, I started to feel something that I haven’t felt. It’s hard to describe, but it felt like someone’s stabbing me multiple times. I couldn’t speak, nor even react. I really wasn’t able to comprehend what’s going on.

MM: “You said she had other things to do today, right? Looks like she’s on a date with someone else.”

SN: “...”

MM: “..You okay, Sa-tang?”

SN: “..Y-yeah! Of course I’m okay!”

MM: “Well, you don’t look too well.”

SN: “You’re just imagining things~ Come on, let’s go~”

MM: “The station’s not that way, Sa-tang. We’ll have to go the same direction as them.”

I can’t think straight. I wanted to avoid seeing them, forget the past few seconds that have passed and lie to myself that I saw nothing. Why am I like this anyway? We aren’t in a relationship anyway. I shouldn’t feel.. jealous. It’s just that I didn’t expect her to go on a date with someone else besides me.. And her friend’s ex-girlfriend of all people.

MM: “..We’re almost at the station.”

SN: “..I want to talk to them.”

MM: “No, that’s a bad idea. Who knows you could proba- HEY!”

I don’t know what got to me as my body just walked faster and faster, trying to close the gap I had between us. I was already there, a few inches away as I reached out my hand to tap on her shoulders to get her attention. However, I hesitated at the very end, and I knew why. It was my fear. A fear of discovering why they were out here in Itaewon. Another one was that I wasn’t sure what would happen to us after I confront her. I stopped walking and put down my hand that was trying to reach her, wanting to give up because I was scared of losing the unknown that we had. 

I was already okay. However, that amazing intuition of hers pushed the situation even further. Without noticing me, she stopped on her tracks and looked behind, immediately seeing that I was right there. Mina also turned around and looked at me. The way she looked at me made me feel intimidated, carrying a kind of confidence that would only be there if Jihyo was with you.

JH: “Oh, I didn’t know you were here, Sana.”

SN: “..Y-yeah! I just saw you by chance, hehe..”

JH: “I guess that could happen.”

MN: “Hello. Good evening.”

SN: “..H-hi!”

Is that it? Aren’t you going to say anything else? Why won’t you tell me why you weren’t available today because you were spending time with her? It’s annoying because as much as I want her to tell me all this, I feel like I’m not in any position to ask.

JH: “..I can see Momo behind you. You two have been drinking?”

SN: “..Yeah..”

JH: “That’s nice. Well, we have to go now. Take care on your way back.”

I couldn’t speak anymore. I just smiled at her and waved goodbye. She left and didn’t even try to look back. I felt miserable all of a sudden, as if I had these expectations that she’d do because I’m that important to her.

MM: “..Yo. Let’s go now.”

SN: “..It’s normal to feel like this, right?”

MM: “What are you feeling anyway?”

SN: “..I don’t want her hanging out with anyone else. Or at least tell me if she’s actually spending time with another girl.”

MM: “..That’s a little borderline. There’s no exclusivity, right?”

SN: “..But-”

MM: “I mean, even you could hang out or get to know someone else.”

I never had that feeling in the first place. I was satisfied with just her. Didn’t she feel the same way? I guess not. Or am I just assuming things? It’s not like hanging out with a close friend would mean anything. It could be anyone, really. Yet the way she smiled at her.. I felt like there’s more to it.

MM: “You know, whatever you’re feeling or thinking, just try to talk it out with her tomorrow or something. We’ll miss the train if we stay any longer.”

SN: “..Yeah, let’s go.”

What I’m feeling right now is real. We’re not dating, but I feel like feeling this way is normal. I know that the right thing to do was to just ask. But it’s the first time I felt that it was easier said than done. I’m afraid of whatever answer she may give, but I am even more afraid of what she may think of me if I ask her about it.

When I got home, I couldn’t sleep. I wanted to call her, or even just leave a message asking her if there’s anything going on between her and Mina. I already started typing my message to her and was about to press the send button. But I hesitated. I stopped because it felt like something I didn’t want to just ask her via chat. 

Talking was much better. So I deleted whatever long message I composed which was already weird to begin with and instead asked her if she’s free tomorrow this Sunday. I waited for a bit for her response, hoping that she could reply immediately. I figured that she wouldn’t respond. She’s probably still with Mina that late night. I just wanted her to respond immediately that time so that I could at least know she’s either not with her anymore, or that replying to me is much more important that spending time with that girl. After about half an hour waiting, I figured it was pointless and just tried to catch some sleep.

Morning came and I felt very tired already. I woke up every now and then that night because I felt uneasy. I wanted to get over this feeling soon. I immediately grabbed my phone and checked if Jihyo finally replied, and she did, not long after I went to bed. Unfortunately, she said she was busy and had plans with Jeongyeon to also do some catching up with each other. I do remember her telling that to me last weekend so I guess it’s okay. At least I know who she’s spending her day with. Why am I like this anyway? I’m in no position to know what she's doing all the time!

Unfortunately though, this also meant that we won’t really be able to see each other again until the following weekend. It was going to be a struggle to wait, but I think it’s really better than just chatting with her.

During the week, we were chatting about random things every now and then, not as often as when we were still students. Not once did she mention Mina, or even ask me if I’m curious as to why they were together. During that workweek, we were able to set up another date back at the Mouse Rabbit Coffee, the one where we went to before. I was excited, sort of, because this was one of the first few places we went to together. However, my mind was too preoccupied about Mina, and about us.

As the day approached closer and closer, I wondered to myself. What do I do once I’m able to confirm anything out of it? Is she someone Jihyo is interested in? What does that leave me? Yeah, it’s a situationship, but don’t I at least deserve an answer of what’s going on?

The day finally arrived and I came early to the cafe. I waited for this the entire week so it’s natural I’d be like this. Still, I’m not just going to blatantly ask her about it, I have to be as natural as possible. 

One wrong statement and we might end up arguing. I don’t want that to happen, especially when we never argued even once. After a bit more waiting, I saw her white Mercedes park in front of the coffee shop. It made me feel nervous, and I’m not usually like this around her. My body knew how important I could get an answer from all this at the end of the day. She opened the door and immediately saw me, still at the same spot where we sat before. She raised her hand and waved hi as she moved closer and sat down in front of me.

JH: “You’re pretty early, Sana.”

SN: “Hi, partner! I wanted to make sure I got the same spot when we first came here.”

JH: “Oh you’re right! This was the exact table from last time.”

SN: “Brings back memories, right?”

JH: “Yeah, definitely. Have you ordered already?”

SN: “Yup! But I haven’t bought any pastry yet.”

JH: “What do you want? I’ll order it for you too.”

It’s somewhat strange, as if nothing happened last weekend. She’s still the same Jihyo I really like. How she treated and spoke to me hasn’t changed one bit. Maybe this is also proof that I shouldn’t have anything to worry about, right?

After she made her order, she sat down and we talked about how our week went. Despite us talking about anything under the sun, she didn’t mention Mina even once. She was bound to talk about her since I saw them last weekend, right? Why were they hanging out then and why did it look like they were getting along really well? I wanted to ask her those questions already, but I didn’t want to be nosey about her own business.

JH: “..You’ve got something to ask?”

SN: “..Eh?”

JH: “I could see it in your eyes, Sana. You usually look down to your left side when there’s something you want to talk about.”

SN: “..I-I have that kind of habit?”

JH: “Yeah, I noticed that. I mean, we’ve known each other for several months already. I’m sure even you notice some things about me, right?”

Even though Jihyo said that, it felt like I don’t really know her completely, a side in her life that’s completely unknown to me. Yet the way she’s able to see me like an open book, it feels kind of unfair.

SN: “Yeah, hehe.. Well there’s something I’ve been curious about.”

JH: “..And that is?”

That was it, the very few seconds remaining for me to speak and ask her about the girl. My mind was telling me to stop, but my heart wanted to utter those words no matter what. Then again I realized why it was so painful to even ask. The emotional attachment that builded up on me towards her made it difficult to just remain silent.

SN: “..I was wondering why you were with Mina last weekend, hehe. I didn’t know you were meeting with her so you said we couldn’t be together at that time. I mean, I already met and know about her but.. You get what I mean, right?

There, I said it. It gave me a sigh of relief, but also the tension inside me grew stronger and stronger. Not only am I worried about what she would say, but the fact that I asked is already killing me. It’s annoying to think that I’m feeling this way even though we’re not officially dating. Jihyo only had a look of wonder at me before smiling.

JH: “..Is it that important for you to know?”

SN: “..N-no, not really. I was just surprised because you haven’t spoken that ever since.”

The longer this topic went without an answer, the more I feel bad for even trying to ask. 

JH: “Well you didn’t ask me so I didn’t tell you.”

SN: “..R-right, hehe.”

JH: “Mina and I have been close for a really long time and she’d usually talk to me when she has problems and the same goes with me. We haven’t seen each other since graduation so I wanted to meet her too.”

SN: “Ohh.”

I don’t know if I had a sigh of relief at that moment, because I still felt bad asking about what’s going on. It’s kind of showing how I was insecure of her presence, even though I shouldn’t be. Exclusivity is inexistent in this situationship.

JH: “..Is there something wrong if I hang out with her?”

SN: “..N-no, I was just curious!”

JH: “..Alright. For a moment I thought that you were stopping me.”

SN: “I’m not, hehe. Things just happened all of a sudden, right?”

JH: “Yup. Who knows? Maybe you could both get to know each other and get along as well. Anyway, where would you like to go next?”

SN: “Ah, I was planning to buy some new clothes for work. Is it okay?”

JH: “Sure thing. I’ll probably buy for myself too.”

I really didn’t like my answer. Just curious? No. Truth be told, I wanted her to stay away from that girl. Yeah, I’m jealous, even if I’m not supposed to. Still, she’s one of those people that really make me feel uncomfortable. Like she has more intentions that’s beyond ‘friends’ with Jihyo.

After our breakfast, we went on our way to the department store to buy some office attire. Considering that we’re already working, it’s only normal that we could also have different clothing every now and then, not like in university where we just wear a uniform all the time. This time with her has been great, I’m able to free myself from my worries and feel at ease again. I don’t want to see her shopping like this with somebody else.

I was able to pick out a few and tried them on in the dressing room while Jihyo waited for me outside. Afterwards, I called her and asked for her opinion.

SN: “What do you think?”

JH: “Looks great! It definitely suits you.”

SN: “Alright~ I’m getting this one. How about you?”

JH: “Can we go over to the other section? The apparel here is too feminine for my taste.”

SN: “Okay. I’ll just pay for this.”

We headed to the opposite side of the department store’s floor afterwards, where there was more of the clothing that fit Jihyo’s taste. It didn’t take long for her to make a pick unlike me.

SN: “Try them on~ I’ll wait for you here.”

JH: “Gotcha. I’ll be quick.”

Jihyo headed inside the dressing room and I patiently waited for her. While doing so though, a voice called out to me, one very familiar tone that I’ve only heard a few words from, but also one that I could remember very well. It was the woman that I least wanted to see at that time.

??: “..Sana?”

I became pale even before looking to the direction where the voice came from. There was no mistake that it was her. Not now, I don’t want to. But I knew that if I ignored her, there would be more consequences in the future than now. I looked behind me and saw the woman there that made me feel insecure.

MN: “..What are you doing here?”

It was Mina. Of all people to encounter at the mall. It was her. There are so many department stores around Seoul, why did it have to be here? Why now? The way she spoke gave off a sense of familiarity, but she was a complete mystery for me. I might only be assuming, but still, a woman’s intuition is strong. I knew I had no choice but to greet her.

SN: “Oh, hi Mina! I’m here with Jihyo. She’s in the dressing room.”

MN: “..Jihyo’s here with you?”

SN: “Yeah.”

I have to admit, telling that to her face gave me a big boost of confidence. Yes, Jihyo is with me today, not you. I don’t know if you’re interested in her, but it felt good nonetheless.

MN: “..Are you on a date with her?”

SN: “..Eh? Y-yeah!”

MN: “..You’re in a relationship?”

All of a sudden, I didn’t know what to say. I sat there frozen not knowing how to respond. No, we’re not a couple, but I can’t say that. A situationship? No, it’s not really something you say to someone you barely know. And what would that make me to her? And I don’t think Jihyo would openly say that to Mina as well.

SN: “..N-not really, hehe.”

MN: “Oh, I see.”

As much as it pained me to say that we’re not, it’s the truth. However, what really caught my attention even more was her reaction. After I said that we weren’t really a couple, there was this smile on her face, a look of relief. I knew from that point, that she doesn’t think of Jihyo as just a friend.

SN: “..Why do you ask?”

MN: “I just wondered because you two were together, buying clothes.”

SN: “..Ah, hehe..”

MN: “..What do you think of her?”

I felt that her questions were starting to attack me. One false statement and things could really go downhill. It wasn’t possible to weasel my way out of this, and I couldn’t tell a lie either. However, I don’t want to go down without a fight. 

SN: “..She’s an amazing person. I’ve only known her for a few months, but she made me feel special in many ways. My partner always made sure I felt comfortable whenever we’re together.”

MN: “..Partner?”

SN: “Yeah, that’s how we call each other.”

MN: “..That’s nice to know.”

This confrontation felt more difficult than my thesis paper’s defense. But it felt like I responded in the best way possible that didn’t make me feel bad. At this point though, I felt that it was my opportunity to attack next.

SN: “..How about you?”

MN: “..Me?”

SN: “Yeah. What do you think of Jihyo? I heard from her you’re pretty close, so I’m a little curious, hehe.”

MN: “..She’s like my ideal type.”

SN: “..Eh!?”

MN: “The way she shows herself, how she’s very reliable, I really like that about her. She has always been supportive to me, so I want nothing but the best for her too.”

Her response left me speechless, I didn’t know what to say. Yet the way she started by saying that she’s her ideal type was this sense of boldness I didn’t expect from her. But why did she tell me that way? It felt like she was fighting back. Her response, the question she asked me, it all made sense now. I know for a fact that she’s interested with Jihyo.

SN: “..She’s really nice to everyone, right?”

MN: “Yeah, but she can be scary too.”

SN: “..What?”

MN: “There was a time she got angry at someone for making me feel bad. I really appreciate that time she protected me.”

That never happened to me. Well it hasn’t because I wasn’t ever put in that state before. Yet, I don’t know how to take her answer. It really felt like she had the upper hand. I could tell her the time when she protected me too, but doesn’t it sound like I’m really putting myself above her already? I don’t want this to get out of hand, so it’s best that I just stop. I don’t want Jihyo to see me like this.

SN: “..Wow, I haven’t seen that side of her before.”

MN: “She just makes sure people important to her are always valued.”

SN: “Yeah, hehe..”

JH: “Hey, partner. What do you think of this? Oh, Mina? What a coincidence!”

MN: “Hello. I didn’t know you two were shopping today.”

JH: “Would you like to tag along?”

No, Jihyo. Why would you ask that? You should know better that I don’t want our time together to be intruded by someone else! Especially not her. We only meet each other once a week, and I wish for that to be just the two of us.

MN: “..I’m afraid that I have to say no, Jihyo.”

I thought I misheard her, but seeing Jihyo’s reaction made me understand clearly that Mina rejected her offer, much to my relief. However, I don’t know why she did it.

JH: “Oh? But why?”

MN: “We can hang out next time. Besides, I don’t want to intrude on your private time with Sana-unnie, right?”

Mina looked at me and smiled, yet it felt like there’s something more behind the smile she gave me. Like she intentionally knew I didn’t want her to come with us, so this must’ve been her way of telling me that I owe her one. Maybe I’m overthinking, but judging from her response earlier, I’m sure that she would’ve accepted the offer instead. I just responded to her with a smile as well.

JH: “Well, if you say so. Talk to you soon then!”

MN: “..See you.”

SN: “Bye!”

After that, Mina left, not even looking back at us both. The kind of confidence she had to do so made me feel insecure, like she knew she could take Jihyo away from me at any time. Regardless, it felt much better that she went away.

JH: “..So what do you think of this blazer?”

SN: “It looks good on you, hehe.”

JH: “Alright. I’m getting this one then. Thanks! Come on.”

Everything about our date went smoothly afterwards. She drove me home and we spent some quality time at my apartment, ordering dinner and eating there, then having some quality time watching TV afterwards. 

Not long after it turned into something fun, becoming more intimate with each other. Honestly I wanted her to stay that night, but I shouldn’t demand more than what we have right now. As long as I could embrace her in my arms, that’s more than enough. She eventually had to leave, kissing me again goodbye with a look of expectation to see each other again the following week.

Honestly, I should feel happy, still having to experience what we really want in this situationship. However, it didn’t feel that way to me. Somehow, I started to realize that I wanted more. But I don’t really know what ‘more’ meant to me.

The next day, I decided to meet up with Momo to talk about the stuff that happened with me and Jihyo recently. Her apartment is pretty close to our alma mater, which was also convenient for her girlfriend. So we met up at a coffee shop nearby, wanting to let out this feeling that I’ve been having these days.

MM: “Wow, this is the first time I heard that you’re not very happy with what’s happening.”

SN: “I am happy, but not as happy as before.”

MM: “And you’re not sure why?”

SN: “Yeah. We’re doing the same as always, but having that girl Mina around her makes me feel uneasy. To the point that it’s distracting me from the good things that happen.”

MM: “..I don’t know if I should really tell you..”

SN: “Tell me what?”

MM: “..Don’t you think you’ve already developed feelings for Jihyo?”

When my best friend asked that question, that was the moment I realized something really changed about me. Back then, I could have easily said no since I knew that what Jihyo and I had was just something casual. But the way I’ve been behaving right now made me realize that the emotional connection I had with her only grew stronger as time passed.

SN: “..I don’t know.”

MM: “The fact that you didn’t say no is enough. Besides that point, you’re blushing.”

SN: “...”

I don’t know how to feel, it’s like I involuntarily developed these feelings for her. I mean, I really like her a lot, I really do. But do I really see her as a potential partner? I’ve always been someone who liked flirting around with people, but haven’t taken anyone seriously. I didn’t like the feeling of being tied to someone, by rules on what to do and not do. However, it really felt like Jihyo has been the only exception to that. I haven’t really thought of having a good time with anyone else, and she’s been the only person that kept me happy ever since.

MM: “I don’t really know how to help you out on this one, Sa-tang. But I think you have to make sure about how you feel.”

SN: “..What do you mean?”

MM: “Right now you’re confused about how you really feel. So maybe do something to really sort things out for yourself.”

SN: “..How about her?”

MM: “What?

SN: “..How do you think Jihyo feels about me?”

MM: “Beats me. You have to find out for yourself.”

I began to accept that I was really confused about how I truly felt for Jihyo. However, at the back of my mind, I also thought about the other way around. She has been very caring to me, and I feel that this kind of care and attention she gives me goes beyond what we’ve made clear at the start of this situationship. It also kind of feels like the reason why I’ve started to be more drawn to her. This was supposed to be something casual, something fun. But now I do feel that it isn’t. I want to find out how she really feels about me. And I just know what to do.

*3rd Person POV*

Sana had the idea to reverse the situation she had with Jihyo and Mina. That week, she messaged Jihyo that she has some other things to do and couldn’t really meet up with her partner. She then planned to meet up and reunite with one of the girls she became really close to before, possibly get caught by Jihyo in the act or possibly post pictures on social media with this other woman. The way the younger girl would react to her could be a clear answer how she would feel if she saw Sana with another woman.

The Japanese girl started to get to work, canceling her plans with Jihyo, learning what she will do that weekend instead, and sneakily setting up the ‘date’, with the girl that Jihyo doesn’t know. Everything went smoothly and the weekend finally came. Sana went to Myeongdong which was also the location that Jihyo mentioned that she’d likely spend time on the weekend to eat some street food. Thus, Sana made sure her so-called ‘date’ was in the same area. She met up with one of the women who she got along pretty well with.

SN: “Miyeon! Over here~”

MY: “Sana~ I missed you!”

*3rd Person POV*

Miyeon was the one that I became closest to, probably around one year ago? We have so many similarities and our chemistry was great. I flirted around with her, and she also did the same. I thought it was all for fun, but when she approached me and said that she really liked me and asked if we could start dating, that’s the time I backed out. I didn’t want to be in a relationship at that time. But now is a completely different story. Maybe this could be a good chance for me too to really see if what I feel for Jihyo is just the same as it was for Miyeon.

SN: “Me too, hehe. It’s been a long time and you look great!”

MY: “I could say the same to you~ We have a lot of catching up to do.”

SN: “Yeah. Well, shall we walk around? I’m getting hungry. I haven’t eaten since this morning.”

MY: “Alright~”

Even though it’s been a while since I hung out with Miyeon, my mind was just preoccupied with thoughts of encountering Jihyo today. It hasn’t even occurred to me if Miyeon has still been holding on to the feelings she had for me. Regardless, it was pretty fun overall trying out a lot of yummy food as we went around. Whenever we’re eating and going around, I keep on looking around, hoping that I could ‘accidentally’ meet Jihyo here. 

MY: “Is something wrong? You keep looking somewhere.”

SN: “Ah, not really. Hehe, I’m just trying to find a stall that Momo said had really delicious tteokbokki.”

MY: “Hmm, I think I know where that is. Follow me~”

SN: “R-really? Okay!”

It’s kind of hard to find Jihyo here, considering how crowded the place is, and we’re also constantly moving. Still, I plan on taking a lot of photos of us and uploading them later. That way she’d be able to see I’m with a woman she doesn’t know.

MY: “Lucky that there’s no long line yet~ Come on, let’s order!”

SN: “Yeah!”

After making our order, we made our way to a less crowded location which was a nearby waiting area. We sat down and started chowing down on the food we bought. I still tried to look around to see if I could find Jihyo amongst the crowd. She’s fairly easy to spot anyway, considering how she dresses up and having such an attractive visual. During this time, Miyeon and I started catching up, talking about how our senior years were in university, and what we’ve been doing now and where we’re working. 

MY: “Hey, Sana.”

SN: “..Yeah?”

MY: “I think we have a different reason why we’re here, hehe. It’s like you’re looking for someone.”

SN: “..Eh? W-what makes you say that?”

MY: “We haven’t met for a while and you’ve barely been asking me anything going on with me. And the way you look out in the open feels like you’re trying to find someone.”

Maybe I was really just that obvious, I’m really predictable. I’m really crazy for doing something like this. Using Miyeon as an excuse to make Jihyo jealous.

SN: “..I’m sorry, Miyeon. It’s.. true.. I don’t really want to keep it in the dark, but I kind of wanted to get someone’s attention by having a date with you.”

MY: “..So you wanted to make someone jealous?”

SN: “..Y-yeah..”

MY: “Hahaha!”

I don’t understand why Miyeon laughed. In a way, I thought she’d get angry at me for using her own feelings for my own benefit. I’m definitely wrong here, so I don’t really know why her reaction was strange.

SN: “..Why are you laughing?”

MY: “I just find it hilarious, you know? I’m guessing that you found someone that you really like to go to this extent.”

SN: “..You’re not mad?”

MY: “Well, if you’re thinking if I still kept my feelings for you all this time, I guess it actually died down. I still like you a lot, but not the same way as before And even now after meeting up with you, I only had this mindset of us being friends hanging out with each other. That’s how everything got started with us anyway, right?”

SN: “..R-right.”

MY: “But I’m happy, hehe. Happy that you’re finally able to find someone that you like. I always wondered when you replied to me that you’re not really into taking relationships seriously. I guess that’s finally gone. Whoever this person is must be really important to you to feel this way.”

I guess in the end, all I did was to just confirm from someone else that I really have feelings for Jihyo. This whole date wasn’t a waste. At least now I know that when I face her, my mind is clear with what I want. Still, I don’t know what she’d think if she learns that I developed something more than just our casual relationship after all this time. 

SN: “..Thank you for liking me, Miyeon. It’s true. This person is really important to me. And honestly I never thought it could develop into something like this. I wanted to make her jealous because I wasn’t really sure about how she felt for me.”

MY: “..Does it even matter?”

SN: “..Eh?”

MY: “How she feels about you isn’t important. What’s important is how you feel. Just tell her that and that’s all you need. Fight for it and overcome any fear of rejection.”

SN: “..She never rejected me yet.”

MY: “..What? I don’t understand.”

SN: “This person that I like, we’re actually in a situationship.”

MY: “Oh..”

When I said that, I thought that Miyeon would understand. I knew she would. However, it wasn’t the reaction I expected. She had this look on her face that showed sympathy towards me. I didn’t know why, but it somewhat affected me to the point that I hesitated more to tell Jihyo how much I’ve been drawn to her.

SN: “..It’s just a casual one, if you know what I mean, hehe. No commitment whatsoever.”

MY: “..Yeah, I understand. But can I ask you a few things, Sana?”

SN: “Sure.”

Miyeon moved closer to me as she gave me her thoughts.

MY: “..Is it really casual?”

When she asked me, I couldn’t say yes. Or at least from my perspective I guess. I feel that there’s more to it. Which is why this situationship continued for months between us. We’re not just having fun. We have an emotional connection. A support that helps us overcome all the challenges we’ve been facing ever since we met each other.

SN: “..It’s casual. But in my perspective, it’s not anymore.”

MY: “..Okay. Then are you just saying that it’s really casual because you’re afraid to tell this person that you want more?”

SN: “..Eh?”

MY: “Think about it.”

I had my guard down not expecting it to be that deep. But yeah, I’m afraid. I’m afraid how she would feel when she learns that I think of her differently now. That I want more. That I want to be in a real relationship with her. That’s also why I’ve been hesitating to speak to her.

SN: “..You’re right. I really want more.”

MY: “..So you’re already at the point of no return.”

SN: “Point of no return?”

MY: “Yeah. It’s like from where you are right now, you can’t really turn it back since you’re sure that things have changed. The longer you stay that way, the stronger your emotional attachment becomes, and the more difficult it will be to walk away. It’s not like in relationships where you’re sure there’s something, since what you have is full of what ifs.”

SN: “..I want to tell her how I feel, but I’m afraid she would not feel the same way as me.”

MY: “Then let me ask you this, are you prepared to feel a lot of pain if this person would back away first?”

I couldn’t answer, not at all. If I knew all these questions were to come out in a situationship, I wouldn’t have entered one. There’s just a lot of confrontations and acceptance for something that was supposed to be casual. But isn’t it also Jihyo’s fault for making me feel like this? No, I can’t blame everything on her. I was the one who didn’t even try to tell her the truth, feeling jealous of Mina and wanting to be treated more than just someone she knows in front of others. I really wanted her to call me her girlfriend at that time.

MY: “..Since you can’t answer, I guess you’re not.”

SN: “...”

MY: “It’s okay, Sana. Hehe. Whatever you’re feeling is natural. At least you know that you really like her. It’s up to you now what to do from here. Either you back away now, or tell her the truth.”

SN: “..I know that I don’t want to back away.”

MY: “Oh?”

SN: “But I need time before I can really tell her how I feel.”

MY: “..Then best of luck my dear friend.”

Miyeon smiled at me. I’m glad that after all this time ever since I disconnected with her, she still is able to treat me as a friend. I was in the wrong, cutting ties with her for a while. Nonetheless, I’m really thankful I had this talk with her. I came here today thinking to get more about what Jihyo thinks about me, but I will leave knowing that I’m more certain that I really like her. No, I love her.

After my date with Miyeon at Myeongdong, I promised to keep in touch with her again and continue our friendship. I went back to my apartment having more certainty about my feelings. The only thing that’s in my mind is how can I tell Jihyo sincerely. Part of me wanted to still wait until I could find the right time and moment to tell her. However, I also understand that letting her know soon will also be good to avoid making things more complicated than they are now, but rushing it when I’m not even sure of her side will make or break everything up.

I laid on my bed, looking at my phone screen, thinking if I should message her or not. I kept on justifying my options. But at the end of everything, I was really just afraid of hearing words that will hurt me. Why did I have to fall in love with her? I put my phone down, giving up on confronting her, for now.

Because of my current state though, I realized within myself that I’m really wanting more. The following days, I’ve been chatting with her more often. Maybe it’s just me, but I felt that she’s been chatting less to me, or I’m just going overboard. Regardless, we still made a plan to meet the following weekend. I knew then by that time when I met her if I would be able to speak to her or not. 

It felt very long before the weekend arrived, but when it finally came, I felt more and more nervous about seeing her again. Just the thought of not having these weekly dates with her if I tell her about how I feel and she rejects the idea is so gut-wrenching that I’m already hesitating to even think about speaking to her. Before I left my apartment, I saw the unicorn plushie she got me on our first date ever, recalling those wonderful memories that made me feel special.

Somehow, it gave me a sense of determination. I know what I want, and if I don’t do anything, nothing will happen. I went out of my apartment with a goal, and that’s to let Jihyo know how things have changed for me.

We met up at Coex Aquarium in the afternoon. It was one of the first few places we both wanted to go to, and we were finally going to do so. I wanted to arrive early, but when I got to the entrance I already saw Jihyo there. It’s been two weeks since we last met, and somehow it made my heart melt to be this close to her again. With a more clear emotion running through me, my entirety knew that I really fell for this woman. As I walked closer, she eventually saw me and smiled, waving at me.

JH: “It’s been a while, partner. How have you been?”

Now that I think about it, we call each other partners. On one hand it could be two people who just simply enjoy the same things together, like two people who are just really close. However, it also meant someone you’re sharing an intimate relationship with. It’s strange, because it’s a word that’s not so clear. Just like us. 

SN: “..I’m fine~ Sorry for being late, partner.”

JH: “No, you’re not. I’m just really early. So, shall we get going?”

However, by the end of the day, I will definitely know what the word partner really meant to her.

SN: “Of course~”

JH: “Let’s get going then.”

*3rd Person POV*

Sana and Jihyo started their date at the aquarium, seeing all the fascinating marine life that they’ve seen only for the first time. During everything, Sana was a lot clingier to her partner, finding moments whenever she could hold on Jihyo’s arms and move closer. She realized that having this clear understanding of her true feelings allowed her to be more bold in terms of really showing the younger girl how much she likes her.

SN: “Look, Jihyo! It’s so cute!”

JH: “I never thought it would be this tiny in person.”

Sana spent the most of her time trying to really show more affection towards her partner. Like how she would really be if she were her girlfriend. During this, she tried to observe Jihyo’s reaction towards her. Somehow it felt that the younger girl had some hesitations with how to respond, yet still gave out a smile to her with all the clinginess she gave her. They also had lunch at the aquarium’s well-known restaurant inside. What followed next was enjoying the dolphin show, and finally wrapping it up by seeing the penguins. Jihyo had fun looking at all the various marine life, while Sana spent most of her time adoring her partner’s reaction, leaving her with a smile. That evening, Sana invited Jihyo to her place saying she has a surprise for her.

JH: “What is this about, Sana?”

SN: “You’ll find out when we get there~”

Jihyo drove her car as they headed back to Sana’s place, still not having any idea what the Japanese woman had in mind. They soon arrived, got out of the car and went to her apartment.

JH: “..So what’s the surprise?”

SN: “Wait a moment.”

Sana entered the kitchen and in about a minute got out again, this time wearing an apron.

JH: “..Huh?”

SN: “I’m going to cook dinner for you tonight~”

JH: “..W-what? But you don’t cook, right?”

SN: “I’ve been practicing a lot, partner. And I’m here to show you that I can make something delicious~”

*Sana’s POV*

This is how I’ll let her know the words that couldn’t come out of me. There’s no other better way of expressing how much I love her by making her something that comes from the heart. I’ve read a lot of recipes, watched several videos online and made several attempts over the past week. Nothing turned out well so far, but I know when she’s right here close to me, I can pull it off.

JH: “We could just order, you don’t have to.”

SN: “Just leave it to me, okay? Just sit back and relax.”

Part of me felt that she didn’t want me to cook not because I’m inexperienced, but because she also knew this was a gesture that someone in a situationship wouldn’t do. But I don’t care. I’d rather let her know I’m doing this because she meant so much to me. I entered the kitchen and started to get everything ready. I wanted to cook her something nice. Over the past week, I’ve spent most of my time trying to learn how to cook curry rice, something that I know she really likes because she usually orders it whenever we go to a Japanese restaurant. I know it won’t be easy, but compared to telling her with words how I really feel, this is nothing. 

I thought that if I put everything that I have in cooking while thinking about her, I will be able to make something delicious. However, the real world isn’t really the same as what you see in films. After a while, Jihyo suddenly came inside the kitchen.

JH: “..Is everything okay?”

SN: “Y-yeah! I’m just making the sauce.”

JH: “The whole place is being engulfed in smoke! The alarm might go wild!”

SN: “Umm, just having a bit of difficulty”

While I wasn’t looking, the fire started to become bigger.

SN: “AH!!”

JH: “Sana!”

She stepped in and turned off the gas stove, then turned off the smoke detector before it caused any commotion in my apartment complex. Finally, she opened up the windows to let out the smoke.

JH: “..Whew. That should be okay now.”

It’s ruined. I’ve spent so much time and she waited for me to cook something nice, but all that’s left was a burnt up inedible concoction. I shouldn’t have tried, rushing to learn how to cook and just believe in being able to make it. But the real world doesn’t work that way. My eyes started to become teary not because of the smoke, rather it was the fact that I not only ruined our dinner but also made an embarrassment of myself.

JH: “..So is it done?”

SN: “..Eh?”

*3rd Person POV*

Jihyo got a plate from Sana’s kitchen drawers and tried to pour some of the curry on her rice, eating a spoonful of what I made all of a sudden.

SN: “Hey! Don’t eat that!”

JH: “Well, you made this for me, right? And I really appreciate the effort you put into this.”

SN: “...”

*Sana’s POV*

Why are you like this to me? This is exactly why I’ve been falling for you. We’re just in a situationship yet you’re doing things that are a complete blur to me! I thought you’d just say it’s okay and we’ll order dinner. Instead you’re behaving like how a lover would towards me!

JH: “..What’s wrong, partner?”

SN: “..What are we?”

JH: “..Huh?”

SN: “..This is supposed to be something casual, right?”

I shouldn’t be doing this. I had to stop myself from speaking. But these feelings of mine just kept on getting stronger and stronger. I know I love her, and it has already reached the point that all my walls are down. I’m vulnerable only to her. 

JH: “..Yeah. It’s been like that since the beginning, right?”

SN: “THEN STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THIS TOWARDS YOU!”

It’s over. I’ve said words that I knew were only there because I’m already at the point of no return. Now she knows that I’ve fallen in love with her, but in the worst way possible.

JH: “..Sana, have you-”

SN: “Yes I don’t think of this as something casual anymore! I can’t help it if you’ve been acting so romantic towards me! I felt wanted, I was jealous of Mina being so close to you, and I want you only for myself. BUT I NEVER WANTED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!”

There was not a single ounce of control left in me, I’ve fallen on the ground and my tears didn’t stop at all. She knelt down to check up on me, and I could feel her hand touch my head. Yet I couldn’t do a thing, nor say a damn word. We stayed like that for a while until she finally spoke.

JH: “..I’m sorry for making you feel that way, Sana.”

SN: “...”

JH: “..Can you give me time?”

Time? What does she mean? She can’t decide right now if she wants to be with me or not? We’ve been in this situationship for months now! I’m not just a convenience. I also have feelings!

JH: “I need to sort things out, kind of have time for myself first..”

I don’t really know how to respond to her. I kept myself silent all that time because I knew if I say anything else, there’s really no chance of us being together. Then again, isn't it already evident that since she can’t say she feels the same way means that the emotion isn’t really there? After all this time, her walls are still up.

JH: “..I’ll get going now, Sana.. I’ll.. talk to you soon..”

She stood up and walked out of the kitchen, and out of my apartment. That’s it, nothing else. It felt like I was just left hanging in here and wasn’t really given a definite answer. This was also the first time she walked out on me, and that we finished a night with something completely vague. I don’t know what we were after all this, and how would she communicate with me from this point onwards, or would she even try talking to me still? It’s obvious that I want to be her girlfriend, but I can’t say the same to her.

I slowly stood up and cleaned up the mess I made in the kitchen. Now that I think about it, I haven’t eaten as well. I looked into the saucepan of curry I tried making and tasted it. Yeah, it was really bad. It tasted so bitter because this reminded me of what Jihyo tried to do to make me feel better, a gesture that someone who treats this casually wouldn’t do. I just took a cup of instant noodles and had that for dinner. I just felt miserable that I wasn’t in the mood of ordering anything or cooking again. I deserve this for breaking down like that.

I went to the living room to eat and check my place. There at the corner, I saw the unicorn plushie she gave me on our first date. Just looking at it always reminds me of those wonderful memories I had with her. But now it also made me think if during that time, did she really treat me back then casually? Would you give someone such a gift if it were just a situationship?

Turning to my sofa, I noticed that Jihyo left her jacket there. It’s really sad because I saw it as a sign of relief because I had an excuse to see her again eventually. It’s getting painful, all the good memories I had with her were being replaced with something not worth remembering. If I knew all this would happen in the end, I wouldn’t have entered this situationship. 

I started to feel really tired and wanted to get some rest already even though it’s not yet late. I took Jihyo’s jacket with me and went to my bedroom, laying down while keeping the remaining piece of her in my arms. I could still feel her warmth, smell her perfume, just keep this feeling while it still lingers.

*3rd Person POV*

The following day, Sana woke up not feeling any better than before. It wasn’t really supposed to mean anything but it felt like she broke up with Jihyo, even though she hasn’t since there was no relationship to begin with. Still, everything was unclear between them. She didn’t want Jihyo to leave last night, she wanted her answer immediately. She was already awake in bed, looking at her phone having hopes that Jihyo’s ‘talk to you soon’ would happen now rather than later. The Japanese woman did not get out of bed for a few hours, just waiting for her partner’s message.

While waiting, Sana suddenly heard her doorbell. She sat up, thinking that it might be Jihyo, heading immediately to the front and opened it without even looking through the door peephole.

MM: “Yo, Sa-tang. Eh? Did you just wake up? Looks like you haven’t changed from yesterday.”

Sana forgot that she invited Momo over to her place to hang out that day. In a way, she was disappointed  that it was not Jihyo, but was also relieved that there’s someone that she’ll be able to talk to about her situation.

MM: “..You don’t look too happy that I’m here.”

SN: “..I am. Come in.”

Momo entered Sana’s apartment and both of them sat in the living room.

MM: “I’m assuming you haven’t eaten yet. I brought lunch, hehe.”

SN: “..It’s already noon?”

MM: “Yeah. You said I should come here at lunch time, remember?”

SN: “..I told her that I’ve fallen in love with her.”

MM: “Oh, that’s why.. EH!?”

Momo was definitely surprised, but it also explained why Sana has been acting this way. Her best friend was usually the energetic one, yet it was only Jihyo who she fell in love with that could bring her down like this.

Without even asking what happened after she confessed her feelings, Momo already knew the outcome that could only result from Sana becoming miserable. She brought out the food she purchased and opened it for her best friend.

MM: “Tell me what happened, but only if you eat first.”

Sana started eating without hesitation, she was definitely hungry as all the stress that built up on her started to make sense. Her best friend also ate and waited until Sana was done. 

SN: “..Thanks, Momoring.”

MM: “No problemo. Anyway, wanna tell me about it?”

SN: “..Yeah.”

And so it began, Sana started telling her best friend as to what happened, all the way from the time she dated Miyeon, until the time she couldn’t control herself from saying the words that brought her to this situation. Every bit of detail stung her, realizing too how her emotions transitioned to something greater and greater, finding it impossible to bear if it were to go any longer.

SN: “..So that’s what happened.”

MM: “..Sorry to hear all that, Sa-tang.”

SN: “It’s okay.. I just feel really bad right now so I’m glad that you dropped by.”

MM: “Did she reach out to you again?”

SN: “..No. And I don’t think she ever will. The fact that she left me when I was at my most vulnerable state already meant she doesn’t feel the same way towards me.”

MM: “...”

SN: “I don’t understand.. We don’t really have a formal relationship.. It’s just a situationship but it’s like we’ve broken up.. There shouldn’t be any feelings, right?”

MM: “There is. At least yourself. Your feelings are real, Sa-tang. That’s why you’re feeling that way. Those feelings are valid.”

Sana started to tear up again.

SN: “..But I don’t know what to do..”

MM: “..You don’t have to do anything, actually.”

SN: “What do you mean?”

MM: “You did your part already. She needs to do hers. That’s how relationships should be, right? It’s like a sandwich. You’re the bread and she’s the filling. You can still eat the bread by itself, but it’s only right if you have it with the filling.”

SN: “..What kind of analogy is that?”

MM: “My point is that your potential relationship can only work if she also feels the same way. So you just have to wait for her answer.”

SN: “What if she doesn’t?”

MM: “I haven’t talked to Jihyo-ssi that much, but I’m sure she isn’t the type to just ghost you. You’ll hear from her. Just give it time.”

SN: “...”

MM: “..Or are you saying you can’t wait?”

SN: “..I can wait. It could be days or weeks. I don’t know how long. But I only know that I can wait for a long time only because it’s her. But at the very least, I wish to hear some assurance that she’s just trying to sort things out with herself because I don’t want to wait for no response at all.”

MM: “You just need to believe in her too.”

*Sana’s POV*

This is how it really is. I’ve shown Jihyo how much I love her. I really don’t know if she feels the same way, but she also needs time for herself. If there’s any chance of us becoming a real couple, I need to be patient.

MM: “You can do it, Sa-tang. Just chat with me again if you need someone to talk to or something.”

SN: “Thanks, Momoring. Tell Dahyun I said hi also.”

MM: “Yup, I’ll get going now.”

Even when Momo left, I felt much better as compared to earlier. Of course I’m not yet at my 100%, and still couldn’t smile. However, I’m certain that there will be an answer in the coming future. But moving forward, I knew already that I shouldn’t expect much coming from her. That way it’ll be less painful if her answer is no.

Nothing else happened that day, she did not even message me afterwards. It really hurts, leaving me crying and weak then doing nothing else to even check up on me.

The next day was pretty much the same. I went to work having no response from the person I once called a partner. I knew that as long as I hadn't heard from her again, I wasn’t going to be functioning normally. I was out of focus and was taking much longer doing my tasks. Then again I can’t blame her, because this one’s on me now. I have to endure and not let it affect my everyday life. 

Every now and then I still look at my phone for any message. Whatever notification came up, I always checked hoping it’s her. But this routine had to stop, it’s becoming just another source of stress for me.

However, everything changed when Wednesday came. I almost gave up on her messaging me soon, but she did.

Jihyo:

“Hey there, Sana. I hope you’re doing fine. If you’re okay with it, can we meet Friday night at Banpo Hangang Park?”

I didn’t hesitate to reply at all, it gave me this light of hope that I wish I’m not really expecting anything out of a fantasy world. I should have treated this moment more as a form of closure for myself. That’s the right mentality I should come in for facing something so vague that took a long time to get an answer.

Honestly, I don’t know how I should feel. Excited? Nervous? Definitely more of the latter. Even though it’s still Wednesday, I was already mentally preparing myself for our fateful reunion that will forever change our lives.

There were only two days left, but it felt like an eternity, a time that made me confused whether or not I want it to come already or not. I honestly don’t like confrontations, but I knew that it had to be done. The longer this goes, the more questions there will be for the both of us.

*3rd Person POV*

The day finally came. Sana emotionally prepared herself all this time for this meetup, but still felt that she wasn’t ready at all. Nonetheless, there was no turning back from this stage. The Japanese woman dressed up properly and fixed herself up more than the previous days, wanting to show that she’s still able to keep a good composure despite what happened. After her work that day, Sana headed straight to Banpo Hangang Park, right at the very foot of the structure. There weren’t a lot of people there, which was perfect, considering that they were going to talk about something serious. As the Japanese woman walked to their agreed location, she was able to see the woman she loves already there, sitting and staring out in the open of Han river. 

*Sana’s POV*

Seeing her right now, my knees felt like they were about to give up. My body was telling me that I should stop, but I’ve already gone this far and my will is far stronger than that. I dragged myself all the way to go to her side no matter how hard my sanity wouldn’t let me continue.

SN: “..I’m here.”

As she turned her face to look at me, I felt nervous to see her impression of me now, someone who grew to love her. Also someone who broke our agreement that it was a casual thing. Despite all my worries though, she still had this gentle look in her, a show of concern in her face that could only be described as ‘how are you?’ and ‘I hope you’ve been doing well’.

SN: “..Sorry if I’m a bit late.”

JH: “..You’re not. I just arrived early.”

SN: “That’s what you always say.”

JH: “..Sit here beside me, Sana.”

I sat there right beside her as she told me. However, it didn’t feel that easy. I kept myself a few inches away rather than my usual proximity around her, not ever trying to lean my head on her shoulders. I just couldn’t. I knew that if I did, it would just ruin the conversation that I’ve been waiting for all this time.

JH: “..I’m sorry if I left you all of a sudden last week.”

SN: “..It’s okay. I know you had your reasons at that time.”

JH: “..Since when did you fall in love with me?”

SN: “..I really don’t know. But it’s probably around the time I met Mina at the library. I felt jealous even though I shouldn’t have.”

JH: “That’s a pretty long time ago.”

SN: “But back then I didn’t know about that feeling, it was only until I saw you canceling a date with me for you to hangout with her some time ago.”

JH: “..So it’s because of that.”

SN: “It’s just one, but honestly, the way that you’ve been towards me, I really feel that it’s not something that you would do to anyone that you feel more emotionally attached to. I mean, you didn’t have to be so sweet and romantic to me. That’s why I felt more emotionally attached to you. I broke my walls down, and accepted the fact that I fell in love with you.”

Jihyo became silent after that, I felt that she’s also trying to understand that the reason why I’ve become like this was also due to her own actions. I wouldn’t ask the questions ‘what are we?’ if she didn’t show gestures that were definitely in the gray area. 

SN: “..So do you have an answer?”

JH: “..Yeah.”

It was just a single word, yet it made me feel very nervous since the only thing she had to say next was what I’ve been waiting for, what will make or break me. Part of me wanted to run away from where we sat down. I couldn’t help it. But if I do, it’s just the same as not telling her how I really feel towards her. I had to accept whatever the person I fell in love with had to say. She looked at me and mouthed words that confirmed my nightmare.

JH: “..I really like you, Sana. But I’m sorry.. I’m not ready to be in a relationship..”

When she said that, I did not cry nor have a breakdown. In the end, I just gave her the most gentle smile that I could give her as my parting gift. I didn’t want her to feel bad for rejecting me. It’s strange but this is probably how my feelings towards her matured even more, something really unconditional that only wants the best for her, even if it meant that it would hurt me.

SN: “..Thanks for giving me an answer, Jihyo. And I’m really happy that we had this thing going.”

*3rd Person POV*

Sana stood up and started to walk away, faster and faster as she wanted to leave, knowing that if she stayed any longer, her tears would start to fall down and that would make the person most important to her worry about her, entering another endless cycle of pain for both of them. She can’t make Jihyo console her anymore, not when her walls are still up. 

JH: “S-Sana! Wait!”

As she heard Jihyo’s voice, Sana continued to run away. To her, this was goodbye. Stopping and turning back was not an option. Jihyo was left behind, seeing Sana in the far distance, she already knew that the person she used to call partner did not want to stay any longer because it would only cause more pain for both of them. Thus, she gave up on chasing her. With nothing else to do there, she went back to her car and started to drive, having no particular destination to go to. She stopped somewhere she wasn’t familiar with and brought out her phone. After fiddling with it a little, she turned the car around with a destination already in mind. She drove for about ten minutes, eventually arriving at the place she wanted to go to which looked like an expensive residential area. She rang the doorbell at one of the houses and was greeted by a familiar face.

MN: “..I’m assuming it did not end well.”

JH: “..Yeah.”

Mina let Jihyo in and they made their way to the living room.

JH: “..Do you have anything hard?”

MN: “I do. I’ll get it.”

JH: “..Thanks. I’ll pay you.”

MN: “No need, idiot.”

Mina took out an expensive whiskey and took two glasses, having in mind to join Jihyo in a drinking session.

MN: “..Here you go.”

The older girl took the glass and poured herself a drink.

MN: “..So what happened?”

JH: “I told her I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. When I said that, she just smiled at me and thanked me for what we had. She left afterwards.”

MN: “..Why did you say that? You didn’t chase her?”

Jihyo did not say anything and just shook her head.

MN: “..I thought you really liked her.”

*Jihyo’s POV*

Yeah, that’s right. I like her a lot that I behaved more romantically than I should towards her. But I was afraid to really start another real relationship. I’ve been hurt before, and don’t know if I can let my walls down.

JH: “..You wouldn’t really understand since you didn’t go through what I did before.”

MN: “..Fair enough, but you should’ve at least told her why you couldn’t.”

JH: “And what would that make me, Mina? If I told her my reasons, I don’t think she’d stay.”

MN: “..So that’s it? You won’t even fight for your feelings?”

JH: “..I’ll face her when I sort things out with myself.”

MN: “She might not be emotionally available by then.”

JH: “..And I’m not emotionally capable right now.”

I know that I like Sana, but there’s a lot that I need to sort out in myself before I could really say that I can commit. I want to be with her, I really do. But I’m afraid that if I rush it, I’ll just end up hurting the both of us.

MN: “..Do as you wish. I’m just saying that you might regret it in the end.”

I just kept on drinking that night, drowning myself with the sadness of saying no to the woman that made me feel special again. Mina joined me on my drinking session that night, listening to my regrets and sorrow that evening. Still, I thought that this was for the better, I can’t just let Sana wait for me until I’m ready, not knowing how long it would take me to overcome my reasons, or even if I could overcome such obstacles. 

Falling in love is one thing, but staying in love is another. The latter is definitely the more difficult one. Do I have what it takes to stay in love with her? Or is this just a fleeting moment that will eventually fade away? What about her? Will she hold on to these emotions? She probably won’t, especially when I basically rejected her this evening. I’m probably really more afraid of the future than now.

JH: “If I’m being honest, I’m also doubtful of myself and my actions. Did I do all that because I really like her, or I’m just really doing it all for fun? Rather than having answers from our situationship, I ended up having more questions than before.”

MN: “..So if I understand you correctly, you’re not even sure if what you’re feeling is really love towards Sana.”

JH: “..Yeah. I’ve thought about it for a week when she told me about her feelings. It was something that I haven’t really considered. And at the back of my mind, I’m not sure if Sana’s serious with me, especially when I saw her on a date with someone.”

When I saw that, it really affected me. I thought that we had something special going and  I didn’t want her to be with anyone else. I didn’t know how to approach her so I just let them be. That’s the time I lost my courage to believe that we can make this casual thing serious.

When I said that to Mina, she giggled a bit and poured some whiskey on her glass. She looked at me and had this smirk on her face, I knew she had something in mind.

MN: “..I have a proposal.”

JH: “..What?”

Suddenly, she took my phone that was laying on the table and handed it to me.

MN: “..Go call your ex-girlfriend and go on a date with her this weekend.”

JH: “..Huh? I thought you’d say Sana, but why her?”

MN: “Just trust me. You’ll know why afterwards.”

One thing I admire about Mina is her way of thinking. Even though her idea sounds weird to me, I usually go along with it. I probably would’ve said no to her idea, but it’s probably the alcohol getting to me that makes me go with the flow. Still, having the perspective of another person is more valuable than relying on my own gut instincts. I dialed her mobile number and pressed the call button, waiting for her to respond.

JH: “..Hey there, sorry for suddenly calling.”

“...”

JH: “Yeah, it’s been a while.”

“...”

JH: “..Are you free tomorrow?”

“...”

JH: “..Yup. Just wanted to spend some time together, if you don’t mind. Catch up and all.”

“...”

JH: “Yeah, I know we don’t have ill feelings. How about at Ttukseom Han River Park?”

“...”

JH: “..Yup. I’m fine around 4pm. Sorry if it’s all of a sudden. See you tomorrow then.”

After dropping the call, I started thinking about my past relationship, how it went and what it meant to me. It only lasted for a short time, but there’s a good reason why. Maybe this too is a way for me to settle some things in the past and maybe prepare myself more should I venture in another relationship.

MN: “Sounds like you were able to set the date.”

JH: “We don’t have bad blood towards each other. And it’s been a year since we called it off. So I guess it wasn’t really a problem.”

MN: “Then good luck for tomorrow. I assume you’re staying over again since we drank. You can sleep on the sofa like always.”

JH: “..Thanks.”

Now that I think about it, I remember Sana looking jealous when I was with Mina. She did say that as well when she broke down in front of me. She’s just a friend and I clarified that to her, although I guess our closeness was something she wasn’t really comfortable with. Although at that time, she wasn’t really supposed to get jealous, right? We were just in a situationship. Does that mean that she’s.. No, I shouldn't assume these things.

I slept that night thinking about Sana, worried since she’s definitely hurt from how she reacted when I said that I can’t commit yet. I kept on looking at my phone, wanting to call Sana right there and now. However, I also thought to myself if she would actually answer my call? If I went to her apartment that night, would she welcome me in? I just hope that by tomorrow, I can really find an answer for myself first. That way, I know what I need to do with Sana.

The next day I felt restless. It doesn’t help the fact that I resorted to drinking after that pseudo-breakup I had with Sana. Regardless, I have a date with my past. I had to prepare myself. 

I arrived at the place where we decided to meet up a bit earlier than what we agreed on, Ttukseom Han River Park. We often came here and ironically, this was also the place when we officially ended our relationship. I kind of forgot about that, since what I remember about this place now was my first date with Sana.

I waited in our usual spot, feeling the wind while looking at the sun which will be setting soon, wondering if Sana was also looking at the same scenery right now. As I kept on recalling more and more memories with her, I heard a voice call out to me.

??: “Hey there, Jihyo~”

It felt nostalgic, a voice that I haven’t really heard call to me for a while. Yet I’ve also seen her not so long ago. I started to understand why Mina wanted me to meet with her instead of Sana.

JH: “..It’s been a while, Miyeon.”

MY: “Can I sit beside you?”

JH: “Of course.”

MY: “Then don’t mind if I do~”

Miyeon was the one I dated for a month. This was why when I saw her with Sana at that time, I was really bothered by it, for the reasons why Miyeon and I broke up. Honestly, everything was really sudden between us. We just met at a bar when our bar stools were beside each other, got along, and hooked up that same night. After that night, we talked about what we were and tried dating casually. Yeah, it wasn’t a relationship. It was also a situationship. I shouldn’t have been calling her an ex-girlfriend.

MY: “Wow, you still look great! Have you been eating well?”

JH: “Kind of.”

MY: “So I guess that’s a no, hehe.”

JH: “..You still know me very well.”

Miyeon and I got along really well. I find a lot of her traits really appealing. She’s clumsy, cute, and also very affectionate. We also had a lot of similarities with each other. Heck, we were even born just a day apart.I honestly thought  there was something special between us. Now that I think about it, Sana is really similar to her. Was that the reason I was really attracted to her too?

MY: “Honestly, I was surprised when you suddenly called~ I was actually thinking about you some time ago.”

JH: “Oh? Why is that?”

MY: “Because of what we had going before. I was wondering if we didn’t call it off, could we have ended up as a couple?”

JH: “Maybe, but you did say you were really attracted to someone else, right? That’s why we stopped. What happened with that anyway?”

Miyeon chuckled remembering how it all happened back then.I guess it’s all funny right now when we recall these things in the past. That’s what happens when we move on. 

MY: “I got rejected, hehe. She didn’t want anything serious between us.”

JH: “Oh..”

MY: “But it’s okay! We recently connected again~ She asked me out on a date. Meeting her was the reason I remembered you.”

After she said all of these things, that’s when I thought, was Sana the one she was referring to? And was Miyeon also the girl Sana told me back then? It kind of made sense to me. However, what I really wanted to know was the reason why Sana had a date with her? Even though she’s saying she fell in love with me? Is she toying with how I feel? I wanted to ask.

JH: “..So are you dating now?”

Miyeon had a surprised look on her face and started laughing hard. She just shook her head afterwards. Somehow, it gave me a sigh of relief, but I’m still bothered why they went out.

MY: “That girl invited me because she wanted to make someone else jealous! I found it really amusing because she never had any love interest, but I guess that really makes that person extra special to her~”

JH: “...”

I shouldn’t have doubted her, she really liked me a lot but was afraid of making a move because she wasn’t sure how I felt. She couldn’t really voice out her feelings, even though I already felt it. I know nothing is certain with our situationship, but neither of us tried to speak up, and that was what’s wrong. We both had every chance to make it work, but we didn’t even try to talk it out. It’s not her fault, it’s both of us. I need to fix this. I have to move, before everything’s too late.

JH: “..Miyeon, I’m sorry. But I need to go now..”

MY: “..Huh? All of a sudden?”

JH: “Yeah. I need to do something really important. I’m really sorry, but let’s catch up next time.”

As I stood up and was about to leave, Miyeon suddenly grabbed my hand, stopping me all of a sudden.

MY: “..Wait.”

JH: “..Huh?”

MY: “You’ll go to Sana, right?”

JH: “..H-how did you know?”

MY: “..I just know, hehe. I’m glad you found someone you can really love.”

JH: “..I’m sorry.”

MY: “Don’t be~ We’re just friends now. But you need to go elsewhere now.”

JH: “Why? Where is she?”

MY: “I talked to her last night. She’s going to leave Korea and will go back to Japan. She already quit her job and packed up yesterday. Just go to Incheon airport now so you can still catch her.”

As much as I wanted to thank Miyeon for telling me all this, I felt that every second that passed could potentially mean that I’ll not see her ever again. There was no hesitation in me as I left Ttukseom and went to my car immediately, stepping on the gas and hoping that I wouldn't be too late. I tried calling Sana’s phone again and again as I drove even though it was clear enough that her number was no longer in service; a clear evidence that she really intended to leave. 

I can feel my desperation with how I was driving, almost going beyond the speed limit and finding every nook and cranny I could go to just so that I could avoid the traffic and arrive at Incheon the earliest that I can. Once I arrived at the front of the airport, I left the car right there, not even minding the commotion that I would make, just telling the valet parking to handle it as I entered the second terminal which had the flights to Japan.

I searched everywhere, my eyes went left and right, scanning through every individual I’m able to see in my vicinity. I walked aimlessly trying to find that one person that can rescue me out of this desperation. I wasn’t sure if luck was on my side, but I was able to eventually find her, just on the opposite side of the security check.

JH: “SANA!!”

I shouted, not caring how much attention I would get from all the bystanders. The only  thing I cared about was for her to hear me and turn around, which she did. She was surprised to see me standing right there, tired from dragging myself everywhere just to see her again.

SN: “..J-Jihyo..”

JH: “..Please don’t go. Come back to me.”

*3rd Person POV*

Sana looked at her, not really replying to anything for about a minute, only leaving a sigh afterwards. The young woman finally replied.

SN: “..Why are you here?”

JH: “I want you- No, I need you, Sana. Please come back.”

SN: “..You say that now, after you ruined me?”

JH: “..I’m sorry. It’s only now that I realize what it really means to fall in love with someone. I know that I hurt you for saying that I couldn't commit last night, but please..”

Sana turned her whole body around, now facing Jihyo.

SN: “..You’re what’s really unfair? It’s letting my walls down to you. You really encouraged me to live the life that I want. You’ve made me feel so special, Jihyo. I kept on thinking one day you’ll love me the way I love you. But now I realize it was all just a dream in my mind. I’ve romanticized this afterthought for so long that I don’t even know what’s real or not!”

JH: “BECAUSE ALL OF THAT WAS REAL! I LOVE YOU SANA!! I was wrong for not telling you the truth! Cruel words came out of my mouth, I was selfish and inflicted you with pain. But now I’ve learned what my mistake was.. I truly love you..”

Sana stopped for a moment, trying to understand what it really meant when Jihyo said those words. She immediately thought that these were words that were supposed to be very sweet for her, yet it felt different, empty. She couldn’t trust what came out of her mouth. Tears started to fall from both of them. 

SN: “..Why only now?.. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t get myself to trust your words now.. It’s not just your fault, Jihyo. I know I played my part too why we're in this situation, so I’m taking full responsibility. But if you really, truly love me, you’ll let me go..”

JH: “..I do love you.. And I hope you understand that..”

SN: “..I love you too, but I can’t destroy your half-broken walls by myself..” 

JH: “...”

Sana turned around and started walking away.

SN: “Maybe in the future, when we see each other again, we’ll find our answers..”

Jihyo watched from a distance as Sana’s figure slowly faded away from the crowd. She’s gone, the one person she truly and dearly loved. In the end, not taking the risk cost Jihyo everything, and once she lost Sana, that’s the only time she realized how much she meant to her. She stood there, defeated as tears continuously fell.

*Sana’s POV*

I kept on thinking that we shouldn’t have gotten into the situationship. But if we didn’t, I wouldn’t even try dating her at all. Still, I’m able to realize what it meant to love someone because of her. I detested feelings of romance at first, but I now understand that there’s a lot in it as well, that’s why I’m taking the risk. Even though I can take the shortcut to be in a real relationship with her, I know that only the test of time will tell us about our what ifs. It’s not that I don’t love you why I’m leaving you, but I do love you which is why we need to be apart. It’s not just you, Jihyo. Even the future me will know what you really mean to the present me. 

*Jihyo’s POV*

I could have jumped right across security, bought my own ticket to Japan, just to be with her and show what it really meant for me to be with her. However, I didn’t. That’s because I realized that I really love her, and I want to respect her decision to distance herself from me. We can’t turn back because we’re on the right track. I don’t want to end up in the same endless loop of possibilities, because I too want a clear answer about myself, and the test of time is definitely something we both need. I don’t know how long it will be in the future, but if fate lets us see each other again, then we’ll definitely know our answers by then.

— Time Skip —

*3rd Person POV*

Two years have passed since the events at Incheon airport. Sana lived her life back in her hometown in Osaka, found a job and built a stable career so far. Even though they’re living in different countries, Sana still kept in touch with her best friend, Momo, as well as with Miyeon. This was something she really treasured because even though she was back in her home country, it was those two that she became close with.

That year in the coming of Spring, Momo told her best friend about her and Dahyun getting married, and invited her their wedding which will be held in the middle of September. This news, of course, made Sana excited for her friends. She did not hesitate to take a vacation leave that fit right into the week of the wedding. Not only did she look for a really nice gift for the two, but she also picked a really nice dress for the occasion. This was a really great opportunity since she hasn’t really met up with them for the past two years considering they were living in different countries. Not only that, Sana hasn’t gone back to Korea as well all this time. 

Considering how she’s still well-connected with her friends in Seoul though, she never got in contact with Jihyo all that time nor even tried to ask Momo or Miyeon about her. This really showed how serious Sana was about what she meant about not being in contact with her, a complete disconnection. Of course it’s a given that she would still think about Jihyo at times. This return to Seoul in particular, was one that really reminded her that it has been two years since they last saw each other. It made her think that with this length of time, how would it be if they were to see each other again?

However, Sana did not even try telling her that she’s returning to Seoul, not even contacting her at all. If the threads of fate don’t make them see each other again, then it is what it is. At that moment, she was only focused on celebrating her friend’s wedding.

The day finally came, the end of autumn, she arrived in Seoul and headed to Mercure Ambassador Seoul Hongdae, a 4-star hotel located near a metro station for Sana’s convenience. Though she booked multiple days on the said hotel, it did not cost much because it was way ahead of time and got a good promo too. Making it a nice 5-day vacation from her job as well without much worries about expenses.

Her best friend’s schedule was pretty busy so she wasn’t really greeted at the airport when she arrived. On the same evening she landed in Seoul, Momo will be having her bachelorette party which will be held at one of the bars in Itaewon. After unpacking her stuff and getting only her necessities for the party, Sana headed out and made her way to the venue via the station. After arriving, she brought out her gift and happily greeted her best friend.

SN: “Congratulations, Momoring!!”

MM: “Ah, Sa-tang! You’re here!!”

SN: “ Of course~ I told you I wouldn’t miss my best friend’s wedding~ Here you go~”

Sana handed over her gift.

MM: “Wow, thanks for this! What is it?”

SN: “It’s a secret~ Just open it later, hehe.”

MM: “Alrighty, anyway, drink up!”

SN: “Don’t mind if I do~”

The party went on with Momo, some of her blockmates and colleagues. Sana too had a good time catching up with her best friend while the celebrant’s friends have been nice to hang out with too. After some time while everyone else were singing, drinking and so on, Momo had an opportunity to talk one-on-one with her best friend.

MM: “..So did you tell her?”

SN: “..Eh? Tell what? And who?”

MM: “You know who I’m referring to, hehe.”

SN: “Oh.. No, I haven’t been in contact with her ever since.”

MM: “..You aren’t even curious about her one bit?”

SN: “That’s not why I returned to Seoul, Momoring. I’m here to celebrate your wedding~”

Hearing Sana’s response left Momo with a smile, not only because her best friend was prioritizing her. But she can definitely sense the maturity that her best friend was no longer the one that was distressed about her emotions and situation.

MM: “..Thanks, Sa-tang. Hehe. Just wanna tell you too that even if we haven’t seen each other for the past two years, you’ve always been my best friend.”

SN: “Ew, are you getting emotional now? Stop it haha! It doesn’t suit you~”

MM: “And you’ve always been the annoying one.”

As time passed, a few of Momo’s friends started to leave to head back. It was a Thursday night and people still had to go to work. Momo on the other hand, took time off granted by her company knowing it was her wedding week, and the big day was this Sunday. Eventually it was her and Sana left at the bar.

MM: “Sorry if I couldn’t accommodate your stay while you’re here.”

SN: “Don’t worry about that! I don’t really want to crash your place and preparations, you know? It’s my choice anyway to arrive this early. I won’t hold you back and I just want to enjoy a vacation here in Seoul. I have a lot of memories here that I wanna go back to~”

MM: “So what are you gonna do tomorrow?”

SN: “I’m meeting up with Miyeon, hehe. I miss her a lot too and just like you, we haven’t seen each other since I left.”

MM: “Alrighty then. Here’s your invitation~ See you on Sunday?”

SN: Of course~”

Momo handed over the wedding invitation to Sana and the latter joyfully accepted it. They both left the bar with Momo heading back to her apartment, and Sana booking a cab to go back to her hotel. Upon getting back to her room, she took a warm bath and relaxed, freeing herself from all the stress from her work back in Japan.

The following day, Sana met up with Miyeon. They both agreed to have lunch at Hongdae Dakgalbi as the older girl really missed eating authentic Korean cuisine. Sana arrived first at around 12:29pm as she was staying at a hotel not far from the place, but it didn’t take long for Miyeon to arrive as well. As Sana saw her, she immediately waved at her close friend and the latter paced towards her, hugging each other really tight after finally being able to unite again after two years.

MY: “Sana! I missed you so much~”

SN: “Me too~ It just really hits different when we’re together compared to just chatting!”

They both sat down and ordered their food, exchanging cute smiles with each other. Even though Momo was definitely Sana’s best friend, she had a really unique connection with Miyeon too, since the two of them are very identical on almost everything with only a few misses like Sana liking spicy food, but not Miyeon.

MY: “Sorry if I wasn’t able to meet you at your airport arrival!”

SN: Ah, no problem~ I should’ve given you a heads up anyway, hehe. Besides, your office is pretty far from Incheon. Anyway,~ How have you been? You keep on getting prettier, Miyeon~”

MY: “I’d say that to you too. You look so.. Refreshed? I know we’ve been sending selfies at times, but it’s weird that you look younger than before!” 

SN: “You’re complimenting me too much.”

MY: “I’m just ecstatic to see you again~ Besides, you know how much I was drawn to you back then, right?”

There was a brief moment of silence, remembering how they were really flirty with each other.

SN: “..Yeah, hehe. Are you sure you no longer feel the same way right now?”

MY: “I am. You’re my friend, Sana. All of that is in the past.”

Sana smiled.

SN: “..I’m glad that I could still be friends with you~”

MY: “Of course~”

The two of them started eating lunch, talking about how their jobs have been and also about Sana’s agenda for the rest of her stay.

SN: “So basically, I’ll only be with you for the entire day day~”

MY: “I’m glad you’re dedicated some time for us, hehe. So what about the rest of your vacation?”

SN: “Well, Momoring’s wedding is on Sunday and she’s pretty busy now with preparations.”

MY: “..And how about tomorrow on Saturday? Oh! Is it for..”

SN: “..A me-time, hehe.”

MY: “..Huh?”

SN: “I want to go back to a lot of places by myself, just recall the things in the past, you know what I mean? Then Monday I’ll just take it easy, probably buy some souvenirs for my colleagues and parents. That’s pretty much it.”

MY: “..Cool, hehe.”

SN: “..I guess you were expecting something else.”

The two of them got quiet as they ate. Miyeon started to sip on her iced tea before continuing, now with a somewhat more serious tone.

MY: “..We haven’t really talked about what happened back then.”

SN: “..Yeah.”

MY: “Maybe I’m just assuming, but you’d like us to?”

Sana nodded.

SN: “..Thanks again for coming to me when I broke down.”

MY: “Anything for you, Sana.”

SN: “Honestly, I was really shocked when I learned that you had a relation-.. No, a situationship with her.”

MY: “..I had an idea, but I was just as surprised as you. I didn’t know she was the very same person you had feelings for.”

SN: “..You really don’t have romantic feelings for her?”

Miyeon giggled and smiled.

MY: “..What if I told you we’re dating right now?”

SN: “..Eh?”

Sana was stunned to speak,but at that moment, Miyeon bursted laughing.

MY: “HAHAHA! I’m kidding! Relax~”

SN: “..S-stop joking like that!”

MY: “So I guess you still have feelings for-”

SN: “If ever you date anyone, make sure you tell me properly! We promised that to each other, remember?”

Miyeon was surprised. She thought Sana’s reaction was because of the woman that became the reason why she left Seoul, but instead she talked about something else.

MY: “..You’ve really changed, Sana.”

SN: “What do you mean? I hope that’s in a good way though.”

MY: “Of course it is! I mean, the last time we met in person, you were really losing it. I’m definitely glad to see a better you right now.”

SN: “Well you better!”

After finishing their meal, they both went to shop for some clothes. Still talking about anything under the sun. Next up was a request from the Japanese girl for them to visit a very familiar place as it was almost sunset, Ttukseom Han River Park.

SN: “Wow.. it’s still beautiful here as always.”

MY: “Yeah, it is. I still go back here every now and then when I want to clear my mind.”

SN: “..I get what you mean. It feels nostalgic.”

MY: “..You wanted to go here because this was one of the first places you’ve visited, right?”

Instead of speaking, Sana just nodded.

MY: “Funny how this was where we called things off between us, hehe. But this was also the place where I saw the change in her.”

SN: “..She has no originality. It’s always here.”

MY: “I just did what you told me when I met her here again. In the end, you wanted to see her before leaving the airport, right?”

*Sana’s POV*

That’s right. It might be a complete coincidence back then. When she ended our situationship, I called Miyeon because I was too weak to handle the heartbreak. As I told her what happened and she was consoling me, she received a phone call. It was her. 

I was left speechless, realizing a reality  that made me think of so many what ifs and whys. Was the reason she liked me was because I was very similar to Miyeon? What if all three of us weren’t connected at all? Why did the threads of fate connect all the way to that moment? It made me believe that everything really happens for a reason. Why I discovered their past, and why I entered that situationship with the only woman that made my heart skip a beat. Yet, it felt so wrong. 

Understanding her doubts of the possibilities of an ‘us’ instead of just a ‘me and her’, even though I made a very clear statement how much I love her. I knew it was because of what happened between her and Miyeon. She couldn’t trust my words that I truly love her after being in a situationship. I know her actions were romantic towards me, but I can’t completely blame her for everything. I am also to blame, I started to have doubts if this was an emotion that I wanted. Loving her was hard, especially when we come from a situationship. We really can’t make a relationship work, not when we are not even sure where we stand.

I wanted us to have time for ourselves, to disconnect completely. That way, we can truly understand how we value each other. I haven’t told Miyeon or Momo, but one of the reasons I wanted extra time here in Seoul was to recollect myself and see if I’ve already got that answer, if I moved on from her. I don’t know if we’ll ever see each other while I’m still here.

MY: “..Just to tell you, Sana. I’ve been in contact with her ever since you’ve left.”

When I heard Miyeon say that, I wasn’t really surprised. The thought came to my mind before, but I haven’t really  thought of it as a big deal. Of course it’s natural for her to connect with people she knows, especially with Miyeon since they got in touch right before I left. At that time, I wondered why she contacted Miyeon after our downfall and not me. She could have chased me back then, but she also didn’t. 

I thought at first that she’s simply letting me go and not really have any care, but when she came to the airport despite being almost impossible to reach me on time, I then understood it was all because of her respecting my decisions, and wanting to make sure I don’t get hurt even more. She knew that I would just break down even more if she kept on chasing me. That’s also when I knew what we had to do.. If she really does have feelings for me, we had to end that situationship, stop chasing each other and sort things out within ourselves. We had to disconnect.

MY: “..But I’m really surprised about you..”

SN: “..Why?”

MY: “Because even if we regularly chat with each other, you haven’t even tried asking me how she’s doing.”

SN: “..I don’t have to.”

MY: “You’re not going to ask anything right now about her?”

SN: “Not really.”

The younger me would definitely want to know. But when Miyeon asked me that question, it wasn’t something that struck my curiosity. Somehow, there was a part of me that asked, does this mean I moved on from her?

MY: “Wow.. You’re both annoying.”

SN: “..Eh?”

MY: “I’m stuck between you two not even curious about one another! It’s tough to be in my position, okay? She hasn’t really asked me about you even though I told her that you and I have been regularly in contact!”

I had two thoughts when Miyeon told this, though unintentionally. First of all, I was kind of happy, because she really followed the point of having no contact at all. However, it also made me think the same way I thought of the question to myself. Does this mean she also moved on from me? I could easily ask Miyeon if she’s dating anyone right now, but I decided not to.

SN: “Don’t stress yourself out, hehe. You know, you won’t be that frustrated if you’re dating someone. I know we’ve been flirting before, and you had a situationship with her, so you’re really in-between.”

MY: “..Who said I’m not dating anyone? I’m seeing someone right now!”

SN: “I told you to stop with the jokes!”

MY: “But it’s real~ I wanted to tell you earlier but you kept on cutting me! Here~”

Miyeon showed me her phone screen, she was with another woman I’m not familiar with.

SN: “..EH!? Why haven’t you told me!?”

MY: “I was gonna tell you! I haven’t told anyone as I promised and you’re the first one!”

SN: “What’s her name?”

MY: “Her name’s Minnie. I met her during one of our company’s seminars and she-”

Miyeon was really enthusiastic to tell me much about her lover. I felt those things that shouldn’t bother me. Our topic finally diverted elsewhere, but I didn’t mind. If it’s there, it’s there. Still, I’m glad that it wasn’t the sole focus of my life right now. And that’s what’s really important.

It was eventually dark and we had to leave already. 

SN: “Wanna stay over at my hotel room?”

MY: “I’d love to, but my girlfriend’s gonna be jealous~ She’s pretty clingy you know.”

SN: “Okay~”

I’m thankful for Miyeon. She’s been a dear friend and has always tried to find ways to cheer me up. She helped me fulfill what I wanted to happen back then, and has been a very dear friend. I’m also aware that if not for her, the outcome of my situationship with her would have been more painful. Regardless, it made me really happy that she’s able to find someone she can truly treasure. I finished my little date with her with a really tight hug.

SN: “Thanks so much for today~ I really enjoyed it!”

MY: “Come back to Korea again soon, okay? See you and enjoy tomorrow~”

SN: “I will~ Keep in touch!”

I went back to my hotel afterwards and rested. The following day was big for me, because this was the day I chose to go back to the places we’ve been to on our first date, a way for me to recall those emotions and see where I currently stand. I wanted to see if those feelings are still there.

I started off with the Zzang Games, since it was just here in Hongdae. It was really fun here, and I remember how competitive she was with the games. However, she also took it easy on me, wanting me to win. It was really cute. As I went to the second floor, I saw the claw machines again. It reminded me of the toy plushies we got each other. Now that I mention it, I still keep it with me. Is it strange? I said a complete disconnection, but it’s been there in my room right now. Still, it’s not like I always look at it and reminisce about the memories in this arcade center. I haven’t really looked at it that way. It’s just really cute. 

My next step was at the local Korean diner we went to. It was really nice and I still remember the food being great here. It was also lunch time already so I decided to have a meal, though a little later than usual.. The taste is exactly as I remember, definitely very satisfying. After my meal there, I decided to go to Mouse Rabbit coffee, this time to just have desserts and coffee. It was pretty relaxing here. I remember how we’ve been really comfortable with each other by the time we had dinner here. This place is really nice, even during the daytime. I didn’t notice the time and the sun was about to set soon.

After having my coffee and desserts, I decided to have a change of location. I went to Ttukseom yesterday with Miyeon so I chose a different spot to go to, one that was really memorable for me.

I arrived at Banpo bridge, the place where it all ended. There were not that many people, probably because it was already around 6pm when I arrived, so most of the crowd probably weren’t there yet and had dinner first. I sat down at the very same place where we had the talk, that very short conversation that led to everything that’s happening right now. Kind of amazing when I think about it, one sentence is enough to change the trajectory of one’s life. And that’s what happened to me. 

I sat there, thinking about how my life has been, with and without her. I can openly admit that I enjoyed what we had, our situationship. Not everything about it was good, but the growth I gained from that was definitely what helped shape me to my present self. At the same time, the past two years have been great for me. I learned to be more independent, focus on my future, and stand up for myself. In a way, I knew these were also the same things she supported me when we started. 

Hours have passed with me just staring at the open, thinking. As the night took over the great sky, I finally asked myself. Where am I now? Where do I stand after all this? As I looked at the colorful display of the illuminated bridge fountain, I think I was able to find an answer now: I am where I am.

Does it sound strange? I don’t think so. It just meant that whatever will be, will be. I’m satisfied with my life. I’m satisfied with what happened between us. I know where I stand, and whatever the future may bring me, I’m ready to face it head on. I’m happy to say that I’m glad I had that situationship with her.

I stood up from where I sat, stretching myself for a bit as I haven’t noticed my stasis there for a very long time. When I checked the time, it was already 11:30pm, pretty late so I had to go back to my hotel soon. Momo would kill me if I’m not on time for her very special day. I made my way back to the main road, and tried to book a cab. However, I forgot to charge my phone and it’s already out of juice. I had no choice but to wait for a taxi. I stood there for the next ten minutes, but there was none that made its way here.

??: “..Need a ride?”

A very familiar voice resonated in my ears. It came from behind, yet I already knew who it was. Maybe this was the sign I looked for if fate would really make us see each other again. I turned around with a gentle smile to look at the one person that made me realize what it meant to truly love someone even with the passing of time.

SN: “..And why would you suddenly offer a ride? You don’t even know where I’m staying.”

JH: “Because I can’t leave this particular woman behind after not seeing her for two years.”

SN: “..Hehe, then I’ll gladly take the offer~”

I walked with her, side by side. It was a strange feeling, we haven’t seen each other for a long time, yet this has been the most comfortable I’ve been since coming back. Eventually we reached her car. 

SN: “Wait a sec. Just to be sure, you’re not with anyone, right?”

JH: “..I am. She’s inside.”

SN: “..Eh? W-wait, maybe I shouldn’t-”

JH: “..See for yourself.”

She opened the passenger seat’s door for me, and as I slowly checked inside, I was left with a smile. The Shiba Inu plushie I worked hard to get was right there, comfortably sitting beside the driver’s seat. I looked back at her.

SN: “Take me to my dorm, please~”

JH: “..Huh?”

SN: “..For old times’ sake? Hehe.”

JH: “Hmm, okay. It’s not for free though.”

SN: “..Alright, then how much do I pay you?”

She moved closer to me and gently cupped my face with her warm hands.

JH: “..A date. A serious date. And I need a downpayment. Will you agree to my terms?”

SN: “..Definitely, partner. And I know what you’re asking for.”

Now it’s clear what the word partner meant for the both of us. Facing Jihyo now, I found my real answer: I am the person that I am because of her. My feelings are still there, and that’s why I am here. We both know what we want, and it was all answered by our lips that shared the same emotion, a love that will overcome any situation.

— End —