"The day all this is over we will buy a house."
The words whispered casually in his ear would have startled Regulus Black if the voice had not been so familiar. James Potter had one of his arms thrown over Regulus and as he reached up to whisper in his ear, it was possible to feel the cold metal of his glasses touching the boy's pale skin.
It's the warmth of James' arms and the fear of ruining that comfort that makes Regulus not verbalize what he thought as soon as he heard the brunette's whisper, that makes him swallow the questions quickly forming in his head, what did James mean with “this is over”? The school? The fights between his family and Sirius? The fights between Sirius and Regulus? Regulus' own cowardice? The imminent war? To quiet his thoughts Regulus decides to turn to meet James' body and a beautiful smile finds him.
"A house you said?"
Meeting Regulus' eyes, James' smile widens. A small dimple can be noticed if you look closely and Regulus has been looking very closely for the last year.
"Did I tell you that during the holidays I went to visit some villages with my parents and.... Well, it's pretty obvious to me that we'll be moving in together in the future. If you want to, of course, but the thing is, I saw this amazing house. Small, but amazing, Reggie. I bet you'd like it."
Regulus blinks, surprised by the flow of words.
"So, yeah. When all this is over we're going to buy that house."
Regulus might laugh, because a nervous and shy James Potter is not something he's used to seeing. Not even in his first encounters at the Astronomy Tower. But James' words thrill him more than amuse him. Regulus is 16, James is 17, and yet he's thinking about a future... a future together. He slides his gaze over James, his black hair, his beautiful brown eyes, the way he's biting his lips now. Regulus loves him. Deeply. Painfully. If James wants to buy a house, this house, that he saw during the holidays with his parents then...
"Wait. I remember you talking endlessly about your holiday, all the places you visited, and you didn't shut up about Wales. You and Lupin."
Regulus narrowed his eyes.
"You want to take me to be a sheep farmer in Wales, Potter?"
James's face magically changed. All nervousness vanished giving way to a laugh that could light up the whole room. They left the room of requiremente always in half light, cozier, James would say, but Regulus could swear he felt the light vibrate accompanying the brunette's laughter.
"I can't imagine that French snub nose of yours on a farm." James' laughter didn't subside as he took one of Regulus' hands and brought it to his lips. "Though your hands are so firm, love."
James' kiss lingers on his fingers and Regulus has to hold himself back from smiling, so he forces his hand free of the older boy's lips.
"Ok, fine. It's not Wales, so where?"
"I guess we could keep this guessing game going...". James immediately stops talking at the younger boy's cold stare, then Regulus finally cracks a smile.
"The house is in Grodic's Hollow."
And that's ok, maybe Regulus smiled too soon.
"Really, Potter? Take a slytherin to bed, then make him live in Godric's Hollow. You really want to tarnish my honour, don't you?"
James is easy for laughter, one of the things Regulus loves about him. So it doesn't surprise him the little laugh, it doesn't surprise him James's hand in his hair, the way he plays with a stray lock there. Nothing surprises him at the same time that everything surprises him. This is James Potter, his brother's best friend, a gryffindor, a shining light who kindly shares his brilliance with everyone... And, above all, with Regulus. Damn, now that Regulus stopped to think Godric's Hollow matches James. Damn village and its lights. That thought makes him shake his head slightly and James stare at him seriously.
"This is serious, Reggie. It's the perfect house in the perfect place. And it will be ours, because I expect you to be mine always."
Regulus needs to make him shut up now so he kisses him. A light brushing of lips that deepens and ends very quickly, so James is lovingly kissing his eyelids.
"I hope I never lose you." Regulus whispers in a playful tone that hides the fear in his words, the burning that might exist in his arm next year. "Or else I would never walk Godric's Hollow again. Never again. Can you imagine how awful that would be?"
"I can."
James replies with a soft smile.
-
On the day it was all over, Regulus Black caught himself apparating to Godric's Hollow to the sound of the last fireworks that marked the celebration in the wizarding world. It was the morning of the 2nd of November, but Regulus couldn't blame the cold for his hands being shaky. He couldn't remember a day when they weren't, maybe before he first touched the locket, maybe when his only concern was still holding tightly to his broom and picking up a golden snitch, maybe when his hands touched...
James.
James, who was the reason and purpose of this apparation. James Potter and Godric's Hollow and the day it all ended.
It is stupid and Regulus thought he had left stupidity behind a long time ago, he had left a lot behind when he chose the wrong side of this war. In the beginning, at the highest point of his stupidity, he made the choice because he wanted to live. And then all through the war he wanted to be dead, then alive again, and now...
James.
It's stupid and yet here's Regulus, turning away from the centre of the village because he heard they made a statue for him. For him and his family. A memorial made because James Potter is dead. And no, Regulus won't think about that now. He won't think about it ever again or he's sure he won't be able to breathe anymore. He feels panic growing inside him, has felt it too many times over the last few years not to recognise it now. No, please…
James.
Just keep walking.
And despite everything, it is James, because of course it is, who makes Regulus move on to a house further away. Nothing about it seems special, a house that matches the others around it just fine, one that would go unnoticed were it not for a wave of recognition sweeping through Regulus' body. It is not he who recognises it, but his magic, and this becomes clear the moment the door opens.
It doesn't escape Regulus the irony of it all, that the house used to protect the Potters was so close to this place of all places else, but perhaps Regulus has grown braver in recent years because he doesn't think before he walks towards the door, he doesn't think as he allows himself to walk through the empty entrance, he doesn't think as he crosses the hallway and sits down at a small table in the kitchen. He runs across the old wood with his fingertips, his hands have never been firm again, everything about him seems broken. There is no magic, no time, that can mend him.
James is dead.
Pain makes his body bow on the table.
James is dead.
The window is lit by the fireworks outside. The place is pure light.
James is dead.
He needs to get out of here. Apparate anywhere, anywhere that isn't... home.
James Potter is dead.
And Regulus Black will never walk in Godric's Hollow again.