Chapter 3
After James and Sirius left to the Post Office, Remus stayed at Godric's Hollow with Peter and Lily. The air felt lighter now as they cleared up the tea-cups and cleaned the stains, but Peter kept fidgeting with his fingers on his lap.
"Do you think anyone might actually try to—" he gulped, "to kill Sirius?"
"No," said Remus, sitting down on the couch next to him. "They sent the letter here, right? So they expected us to kill him. Sirius is fine. He just likes the drama."
"I don't know, Remus..." Lily had appeared from the kitchen and sat in front of them, "I don't think that was just a joke. Sirius has it for the Death Eaters, more than any of us. And, even if his family doesn't know he's working with us in this stupid hitman thing, they're bound to find out about Sirius hunting them down. Did you think these blokes are bound to keep quiet?!" she sighed, "Sirius doesn't particularly blend in, you know."
Remus kept quiet. He knew Lily was regretting joining them on this. It had been a bit of fun at first, looking for people who'd earned a good curse and making them pay for it. Like some kind of Justice Man. Sure, Remus had started for the money alone, but, he had to admit, it was way more fun to do it with his friends. Even if that included Sirius.
"You're safe, Lily" he said, firmly, "You and James both. Nothing is going to happen to you. Or you, Wormtail," he added, noticing Peter biting his lip nervously.
"Well, I hope so. I couldn't cope with anything happening to any of you" she said this in a whisper. "I think it may be time to... stop."
Remus frowned and, to his surprise, so did Peter. The short boy crossed his arms and stared at a fixed point on the flowered wall, as though thinking.
"We'll see. Let's not jump on any conclusions, alright?" was all Remus said.
"Yeah..., Oh! Remus, you didn't fill in for this morning's mission, did you?"
"No," he said.
Lily was quick on her feet now, she handed him a quill and a small notebook where they kept track of every mission. Remus thought it was funny that this book had a kitten on it's cover. He opened it and scanned through the pages until he reached that day's date.
Monday.
September 24, 1979
Mission data:
Target: Antonin Dolohov
Ordered by: Anonymous
Assigned to: Remus
Other: Death Eater
This last thing was apointed on Sirius' handwriting. Remus took the quill, drowned it in ink and scribbled the mission's details. He recounted how he tracked Dolohov down and followed him into the alley. It occurred to him to describe Sirius as a "meddling fucker", but James would most likely read it later and he was sure to 'have a word' with Remus.
So, instead, he just said the quest was interrupted and finished by someone else. He left out the Red Caps part, too. He never mentioned it anymore, he wanted to avoid Lily lecturing him about unnecessary violence and morbid actions.
Just as he finished, they heard the door open and Lily said, "That must be James! I'll go ask him the question."
Their Hogwarts professor, Albus Dumbledore — and everyone they encountered these days — had told them to ask everybody something only that person would know, to make sure it wasn't someone else (this meant a Death Eater) impersonating them.
Lily left the room and Peter got closer to Remus on the couch, creating a sort of secretive intention.
Remus looked at him with his brow furrowed. He didn't like to have people so close to him, almost touching. He was going to say something, but Peter beat him to it.
"Remus... I didn't want to say anything in front of Lily, since she's already quite worried," he said in a low voice, "but... do you think the note with the Sirius-thing might have some concealed message?"
Remus widened his eyes. How hadn't he thought of it before?!
"Peter, that's brilliant!"
He got up and picked up the letter. With his wand, he pointed at the page and said, "Revelio".
Nothing happened, so he kept trying with similar incantations. Muttering under his breath as fast as he could.
It seemed to be useless. No words or symbols appeared on the parchment. He tried one last spell and, with big surprise, he and Peter watched brand new words scratch themselves right under the original ones. They were written in the same color and calligraphy.
Now the message was completely developed, Remus froze on the spot.
"Kill Sirius Black
He's a spy, a Death Eater"
— • —
Remus took the letter, said goodbye, and dashed out of the Potter's house. Telling Peter to stay quiet about the new writing they'd discovered. James and Lily would dismiss it immediately, never daring to suspect Sirius, and they'd try to convince Remus he was being stupid and paranoid.
He walked through the village at a quick pace, not really seeing it at all. Remus didn't want to think Sirius was a Death Eater, he didn't believe it. At least, he didn't think so.
But why would anyone send a letter like that? If Sirius was a Death Eater, then someone outside their circle must've found out. Otherwise, why would one of his allies rat him out? Risking a spy and messing with whatever Voldemort's plans are. Who would send it to them? Doing them a favour, letting them know they were trusting the wrong person?
It's hard to betray family. Sirius distanced himself from his a long time ago. But Remus thought maybe, just maybe, he'd go back and forgive them if they exhibited even a slight interest in him. Showing him a different path or even brainwashing him. If he ever found himself in a situation like Sirius', Remus knew he would probably turn back to his parents if they showed him affection and welcomed him home again.
Then again, Sirius had always despised the dark arts. He resented his family, and the trauma they'd inflicted in him had never really left him. And with good reason, Remus thought. Back when they were friends, Sirius confided his secrets mostly with James; but, from time to time, he shared things with Remus, too. Horrible things his parents had said or even done to him. Remus had trouble thinking about them even now. As much as he hated Sirius, he'd never wish anything like that on anyone.
He didn't want his dislike for Sirius to blind him at present. Back at the Potters, Peter had looked at him with a suspicious face; he liked Sirius very much, but he wasn't foolish. Remus realized Peter was thinking the same as him. Either Sirius was a Death Eater, or they expected Sirius' friends to kill him for them.
They hadn't said anything that betrayed their minds. Remus doubted Peter would reach any conclusions, let alone make accusations. Instead, he'd looked at Remus and said—
"James gave Sirius a mission, when they left. For this guy..." he seemed to think for a second, "Mulciber! Perhaps you could go with him."
Remus hadn't fancied the idea of spending another mission with Sirius, but it would be an opportunity to pay more attention to him. Maybe even confront him...
So Remus went to London. Lily had taught them all to take the subway the year before, claiming it exhausting to either Apparate or fly everywhere. He had traveled this way before with his mother, Hope, who was a Muggle. James, however, didn't like the news too much, and it was great proof of his love for Lily when he took the task to heart and learned to subway-travel to any place in Britain.
"Excuse me," Remus approached a Muggle woman who was going down the stairs of the station, "I lost my money, would you be so kind to—?"
As he'd hoped, the young woman understood quicky and nodded her head. She and Remus walked a few more paces in the underground space and she let him in with her. He gave her a better look as he thanked her and noticed she was quite pretty.
She had short, brunette hair (Remus thought she would've looked like a boy if it was a little shorter) and was wearing purple flare trousers with a brown top. She could've been a rockstar. He even distinguished a small butterfly tattoo on the small of her back, he flushed and quickly looked away.
Remus was no stranger to women. Though never as experienced as Womanizer-Sirius-Black or as romantic as Heart-Shaped-James-Potter (both of whom all girls usually preferred before Scar-Face-Remus-Lupin), he'd spent Gryffindor parties snogging some other girl who'd thought he was smart or witty. Once or twice even taking them upstairs to their bedroom.
Nevertheless, it was hard to catch his eye. Remus didn't think he had a type, unlike Peter, who claimed to like women who were sweet and usually blonde. He, on the other hand, had never actually liked anyone. At least not with the intention of having feelings involved; but he lowkey yearned for it. Remus would always deny it, but he felt dizzy thinking of the kind of love he read about in books and watching it in the movies his mother sighed over (these ones Remus considered to be a bit too much, though).
He felt stupid and girly, regarding love. It turned him vulnerable, and wasn't too keen on experiencing it, afraid of what it might do to him.
The subway-girl stepped out on the next two stations, waving him goodbye. Remus waved shyly and kept daydreaming over it until he'd reached his stop.
He got off and started walking towards Sirius' small house, which he'd bought with 'some money' his uncle had left him. Regarding the Blacks, 'some money' was most likely to mean 'a small fortune'.
Remus had made up his mind: Sirius was not a Death Eater. He just couldn't be. His stupidness and need to prove himself wouldn't lead him to such extent.
He would nock on Sirius' door and show him the letter. Ask for explaining and theories. It wasn't fair to keep this from him. Remus couldn't act on his own, as much as he might like it. They would figure this out together. All of them.
Of course, this plan crumbled in seconds as soon as he arrived at the house.
Regulus Black was exiting through Sirius' front door. And Sirius was right behind him, a little shaken but in one piece.
Remus felt a sudden rage rising inside his chest. What the fuck was Regulus doing here? They all knew he was most definitely a Death Eater. So what was Sirius doing with him? Keeping up with the family?!
He couldn't believe he had been stupid enough to trust Sirius, once more. Couldn't believe he would give him another chance, putting all his faith in a particular novelty that didn't always show up.
It dawned on him that, whenever he got hurt, he was the first one to do so. And every single time he hoped to be the last.
For some reason Remus couldn't quite place, it was particularly painful to discover Sirius Black was a Death Eater.
Sirius betrayed them. Betrayed him, again.
Regulus had left, started walking down the street and probably Disapparated; without noticing Remus.
He walked towards Sirius, trying stay under control. All in all, it was best to play it cool. Confirm what he already knew. He didn't know how Sirius might react.
Sirius' smile faded when he saw Remus.
"Family meeting?" Remus growled.
God, in that moment, Remus really thought he could kill Sirius Black.