I Can Help You
Hermione had hoped to get answers from him, but every time he answered one of her questions another one popped up and there was no way she was going to let this go on any longer. She didn't have the patience for it anymore either. She spent the entire night thinking over his words and trying to piece together the puzzle that seemed to be missing pieces all around them. He did say that he was doing whatever he was told to do but it didn't prove anything since he didn't know what "it" was. He didn't know what she was implying at, she only assumed that he knew what she was referring to. And if that wasn't enough already, he was able to do the Patronus spell, too.
She spoke to Harry and Ron about what happened. They thought she was joking when she told them about his Patronus. While Ron was desperately hoping she was lying to them, Harry got lost in his own head for a while, muttering something about "something not quite right here."
"He did it, I'm not lying!" Hermione insisted.
Harry stopped walking around and looked at her. "We know you're not lying, don't worry," he grabbed his map and unfolded it, examining closely. "Hmm…"
"What?" Hermione poked her head into his side.
Harry handed her the map with a huff. "He's not doing anything, just sitting in the Great Hall..."
Hermione looked at the map and traced her finger above his name on the parchment. "He's alone," she muttered softly. She couldn't realise this one thing until she saw his name on this piece of paper. It didn't matter if he was Voldemort's ally or not. Right now all she could feel for this man was sympathy. She didn't want him to sit all by himself, she wanted to go and talk to him, tell him that he wasn't alone. It didn't sit well with her that he had to be their enemy. He did break her heart with his answer after their kiss but she still didn't want to leave him alone.
What a hypocrite, her inner voice said.
She was. She agreed with everything her conscience was saying. This man was the exact antithesis of what she believed love should even mean. He had been nothing but cold with her for years. Holding his hand while dancing was the first contact she had with him after she slapped him. He wasn't exactly nice at the ball either, but when she thought about it, the dance itself was fun. If they weren't so proud, they could have fun together back then, too.
She could still remember the feeling of being lifted in the air by him and coming face to face afterwards. Thinking about it now made her stomach flutter. But their second dance was much more memorable than the first one. There were only two of them and they were very close, closer than they should be in that empty, huge room. When he wrapped his arms around her, when he pulled her as close to him as possible... that moment changed things for good.
It wasn't her intention to fall for him. Really it wasn't. But she had seen a completely different version of him and it was like seeing an entirely different person. The bad and arrogant parts of him disappeared and left behind a person who looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world. She had always protected herself from him, from his friends, his family, his words... from his eyes. But now those eyes were looking at her like he wanted to protect her.
Maybe it happened gradually but only at that moment Hermione knew that Draco wasn't any kind of friend to her and no matter how wrong he was, she just wanted to stay there close to him in their little bubble.
"Hermione?" Harry waved his hands in front of her face. "Are you okay?"
She blinked and looked away from the map in front of her and back at Harry. She felt warm all over. Did he notice how red her cheeks were and how hard it was for her to look him in the eye?
"Ah, yes, I was wondering... if I could watch you and Blaise tonight?"
"Huh?" Harry cocked his head to the side, confused. "Why? What are you planning?"
"Well," she sighed heavily. "This is gonna sound really silly but... I want to talk to him, but I want him to think as if I'm only there to watch you two."
"Why not just go and talk to him? Isn't he your 'friend' now?" Harry asked, not hiding his annoyance.
Ron scoffed at that comment. "What are you going to say? Hey, we think your best friend might be a Death Eater because he's acting a bit weird and openly said that he was chosen for a task but we are not so sure because he can cast a bloody Patronus? Of course, he will tell you everything!" He snorted, shaking his head disapprovingly. "No way would he tell you anything, Hermione, don't even bother."
His tone annoyed her even more. Yes, he wouldn't out his friends but she could still learn a thing or two.
"Well, I just want to see him duel. I want to know why he couldn't cast a Patronus but Malfoy did, that should be enough reason."
Neither of them was okay with the idea but they were tired of arguing with her, especially when they knew she was sort of right. "Fine, fine," Harry agreed. "But I'll be watching from the map, ok? In case he tries anything funny."
Hermione nodded. "When is it going to be?"
"Around 6," Harry replied.
6 was good. Hermione would have plenty of time to observe Blaise before she crashed their practice session. She hadn't been paying attention to how Draco interacted with his friends, so she probably missed a lot of stuff. If he wasn't doing this alone, she could definitely catch them whispering and sneaking around. But if she was watching from afar, she was more likely to miss any details, that's why she had to talk to Blaise.
"I will use Felix Felicis to get Slughorn to talk, that's the only way," Harry said out of the blue.
She had forgotten all about it; Harry had to convince Slughorn to give his memories of Voldemort or Tom Riddle to Harry. He didn't seem like he could be easily convinced though.
"I don't understand how luck will help you out," Hermione commented.
"That's my last option, I have to see what it can do and luck can change a lot of things. I have a good feeling about this."
He gave her a reassuring smile, his confidence was contagious.
"When do you plan to do this?" Ron asked.
"Tomorrow. Since I have plans tonight, tomorrow will be the perfect time for it."
"Alright," Ron sighed. "If you need us to cover for you..."
"Don't worry, Ron," Harry reassured, "I'll be alright."
"Good."
They sat together for a while as their conversations turned into casual bickering. They went outside and walked around the castle as an excuse to find Blaise. When Hermione found him talking to a few Slytherins and Ravenclaws, she kept her gaze locked on him across the courtyard, trying to act normal enough so she wouldn't attract any attention. Once she found a place where she was sure he wouldn't notice her, she started watching carefully as he spoke to those students. He seemed friendly, polite even, but she couldn't make out what they were saying.
One of the boys was talking and laughing loudly with him, gesturing with both of his hands animately. She couldn't see his face but based on his stature, his dark hair and the colour of his robe she assumed it was Theo. She watched silently for another minute, then turned around, leaving the area. After walking through the corridors, she decided to kill some time in the library. It was almost empty as usual and the table she would always pick was always free when she needed it. Her eyes drifted towards the window behind the shelf as she read an old novel she'd picked up for a bit of quiet enjoyment. She wanted to kill time in here but to be honest she could spend hours in the library and wouldn't even notice it unless her stomach started rumbling or when someone interrupted her. This time though, it was neither of them, she wished someone disturbed her but she looked out the window when she heard the rain falling against the glass.
One glance at the clock and she was on her feet, leaving the books behind her as she made her way to the duelling class Harry and Blaise were practicing in. After all that convincing and reasoning with Harry, she was late. She ran faster and faster until she reached the door. She could hear the sounds coming from inside and as soon as she pushed the door open, she took several deep breaths to calm down. She probably should've done it before barging in and distracting them while their offensive spells were flying around.
"Granger?" Blaise asked, surprised. At the same time Harry, who had turned around to look at the door fell back on his back.
"Mate?!" He yelled. Hermione rushed to his side to check up on him but he shook his head and claimed he was fine. "You're early Hermione," he continued once he was back on his feet again.
"Yes, I know... I lost track of time," she admitted sheepishly.
"Are you okay? I didn't mean to," Blaise walked over to them. He was clearly embarrassed but they all knew it wasn't his fault.
Harry dusted his pants off and cast a quick glance at Hermione and then at Blaise.
"Yeah, no worries. I'll just go and rest a bit if you don't mind?"
"No, go on, please. We don't need to practice anyway."
This wasn't how she planned out everything to happen. She didn't mean to hurt anyone and now Blaise was feeling as bad as she was. At least it wasn't too bad, he'll be fine, she thought.
"You go ahead, I'll come later."
He nodded and said goodbye to the two, leaving a very confused Blaise Zabini and an equally nervous Hermione behind.
How was she even going to talk about what she wanted to talk about after this?
"What are you doing here?"
Thankfully, Blaise wasn't like his best friend who would stare at her silently for an uncomfortable amount of time.
"I wanted to see you two practice but..."
"Why?" He raised an eyebrow like he was suspicious of her, and rightfully so.
"I thought it would be a good idea... you know, we're not doing it anymore and I thought this is a great opportunity to watch what others are doing," she shrugged. Oh yes, that was the most convincing she could ever be...
Blaise rolled his eyes but she caught him smiling slightly as well. It made her feel a tad bit better. "Well there's no more practice as of now and you're still here, do you want something?"
"I was wondering..." She hesitated, unsure if she should say this or not. "Uhm... I was thinking about..." It was so easy to talk to him the other day, but now she couldn't even look him in the eye.
"Yes?" He encouraged her to continue.
"Do not get me wrong, but I was thinking and I can't really understand why you want to talk to me suddenly. We never really had a proper conversation before after all!"
He nodded as he considered her words carefully. "I see... were you uncomfortable by my sudden approach earlier?" he asked. "If so—"
"No!" She protested, making his eyebrows raise in surprise. "Not uncomfortable, not at all. You haven't done anything wrong! Just unexpected, and it kind of threw me off guard, that's all."
Blaise sighed with relief and let out a small laugh. "Well, that's good," he said and walked over to the door. "I thought I did something wrong... Do you want to get some fresh air?"
She smiled as they left the classroom and walked out onto the deserted hallway. A gentle breeze brushed against her cheeks as they headed towards a balcony, overlooking the lake.
"It's nice, isn't it?" He put his hands on the stone railing as he leaned forward a little. She nodded as she stared down at the lake. He obviously wanted to ease the tension but all she could do was nod and stay silent. "Well... about that.." he turned to look at her.
Hermione felt herself growing anxious again at his tone. What was he even going to say? She never thought that he could have feelings for her like Draco said but the way he was acting seemed a bit contradictory.
"I wanted to talk to you for a while," he started. It wasn't helping at all. "I was going to say something at Slughorn's party since people socialise at parties a lot." She waited patiently for him to tell her what he meant but he just stood there, looking straight at her as he spoke, which only made things worse. "And you know, I thought you would come with Draco that evening."
"Huh?"
That caught her completely off guard and confusion was starting to replace the anxiety.
"He wasn't going with anyone, so I assumed you two were close now and would go together, yeah..." he said with a soft smile on his lips. "I would come and say hi but you were with McLaggen and I don't think he would've liked that, especially not a Slytherin like me," he chuckled nervously. "So I just gave you a nod if you remember and a bit later I saw you and Draco arguing and realised that maybe you're not that close or that ypu have a problem right now and it's probably not the best time to chat and then you stormed off and I wasn't going to say hi after that, of course."
"Yeah..." she cringed at the memory. She was mad, yes, but it was the best if he didn't know what she was mad about.
"Anyways, when I saw you sitting all by yourself I thought why not now and came and said hi," he finished it off briefly.
She nodded slowly but wasn't completely satisfied. "But that doesn't explain why."
"You're right," he looked back at the lake. "I never really had any problem with you," he said and licked his dried lips as the wind blew in their faces. "You were just Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of our age, the infamous know-it-all, and also Harry Potter's friend to me."
"I don't understand," she frowned.
"If you let me finish," he laughed softly. "Anyway, when I heard you and Draco were going to be working together as prefects, I thought it would be interesting at first. After all, you two always had a weird relationship. You would fight all the time and I thought that this would be fun to watch. Later when you two became partners in both classes, I noticed that you were both more friendly than ever and if Draco of all people could do that, why not me?"
"I thought you hated me," she said softly.
"Why? Because I'm a Slytherin?" He scoffed at the ridiculousness of that. "I know our houses never really got along and especially with quidditch—"
"You know that's not what I mean."
She wasn't feeling nervous at all anymore. Her heart was pounding so loudly she swore he could hear it. This was different.
He looked at her for a while before sighing defeatedly. "I know... look, I'm not like that. Yes, I'm a pureblood and a bit arrogant sometimes but I'm not the worst out there. I know it doesn't sound good but, my family isn't that bad when it comes to these topics. We're more like diplomats, trying to stay in the middle. Most families have it worse..."
"You mean like Malfoys?" She narrowed her eyes a bit at him and crossed her arms.
"And Notts. Also Goyles and Crabbes..."
"That still doesn't answer my question though," she raised an eyebrow.
He nodded slowly. "My family isn't too strict about these things but of course, they matter a lot... and when I saw how Draco was starting to get along with you,"
"How would you even know that?" She asked. He wasn't there when they patrolled or duelled or anytime that they were alone.
"I just know... he's my best friend after all," he simply said. "I noticed there was something different as well, and I wanted to see what caused the change.“
"You think I caused some sort of change?"
She was confused again. He was different, yes, but it wasn't because of her. She was different as well, but they simply weren't as hateful as they were before. In fact, she actually quite liked spending time with him. He was fun to be around and he wasn't as scary as everyone else seemed to think. "Why would you think that?"
Blaise smiled slightly. "You and Draco never really talked much before," he said. "You used to barely tolerate each other, but he didn't seem that bothered anymore and I even thought that he was having a good time.“
She shrugged. He did laugh and smile around her and they had a drink and danced and kissed, so yeah, she would like to think that he was having a good time with her.
"So?"
Blaise's lips twitched upwards when she didn't protest to him. "So... I wanted to see if you were that good of an influence or if he was simply just falling for you," he smirked slightly.
"W—what?" She blinked. It was one thing to think about by herself and it was definitely something different when she heard it from another person who knew him rather well. She stared at him wide-eyed, her heart suddenly pounding harder in her chest.
"Oh please," Blaise rolled his eyes playfully at her reaction. "The lad was having the darkest and the most depressed year of his life and he suddenly started to smile and not look like he wasn't sleeping for days? I knew something was going on with you two," he teased her. "Especially after I talked to you."
She blushed deeply and quickly looked away from him before he continued to look at her.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
The words came out weak and quiet and she almost groaned in frustration at her own stupid response.
Of course, he would figure that out. There was no possible way that he wouldn't. How did he? She sighed again, closing her eyes as she tried to calm down and not panic. Even if it was true, that still didn't explain why Draco told her that Blaise liked her. Was it his way of rejecting her? "So... you don't like me?" She asked.
"Me??" Blaise was shocked and confused as to why he was being asked such a question. "How is that have anything to do with me?"
Hermione wanted to punch something, this was too embarrassing. He spoke to her only a few days ago for the first time and now they were standing on a balcony, talking about her love life. The one that he got involved with somehow.
"Draco told me that, uhm... that you like me..." she muttered, avoiding looking at him.
"He said what?" She saw his mouth fell open from her peripheral vision.
She bit her lip, still not meeting his eyes. "He was questioning why I was trying to be your friend and I think he wanted to see if I had bad intentions, which I don't, just so you know..." she looked at him with honesty in her eyes. "And then he started talking about the Yule Ball..." she paused.
"What about it?"
Hermione took a breath. "He said that you were impressed..." she said and immediately added, "along with few other people, I guess."
She shut her eyes, this was too embarrassing already. What made matters worse was that he didn't say anything to deny her statement, which meant she was right, he did find her attractive.
"Granger..." he rubbed his temples. "You looked absolutely stunning that day, no one can deny it and I heard some flattering things from fellow Slytherins as well, Theo was one of them."
And now they were talking about Theo?
"But Draco continuously refused to admit that you were pretty even though it was obvious..." he said and she muttered a small thanks.
"I didn't think much of it since he didn't like you, you know... but I saw him looking at you a few times and it wasn't hateful, it was more like he just wanted to watch you." She couldn't help the smile forming on her lips as her heart rate quickened. That was almost validating her feelings. "I thought he was leaving those supremacist beliefs now that he was spending time with you, but..."
"But...?" She asked hesitantly. Was he going back to hating her blood now?
"I think there's something he's not telling me and I tried so hard to talk to him. It clearly affects him and I thought maybe it was your fight and I... I wanted to ask if you could do your charm and maybe forgive whatever stupid thing he said again..." he put his hands in his pockets, not meeting her eyes.
She couldn't help but laugh lightly, her heart beating faster now that he admitted it out loud. It didn't last long though. Whatever Draco was doing, he was alone in it, not even his best friend knew what was going on with him.
"That's a bit much..." she said to avoid talking about the subject and earn some time. "Do you know where he is?"
His eyes lit up with hope as he smiled at her. "Uh... I think he's trying to be alone... He started walking around the castle and I even once saw him leaving the haunted girls' bathroom."
"You mean the Moaning Myrtle?"
"Yeah, I never really liked that place but it's empty most of the time, so maybe that's why..." He trailed off while furrowing his brows.
Her eyes widened for a second. "Of course! No one wants to see Myrtle, that's why we brewed the Polyjuice Potion there!"
He nodded slowly, not really understanding what she meant. They stayed silent for a moment after that. She had just realized that this conversation wasn't getting anywhere anymore. But the sooner she left this place, the better. "Well... I better go..."
"Yeah... And Hermione?" He said after her when he noticed she was about to leave.
"Yes?"
He was hesitant at first but he eventually cleared his throat. "We're good, right? I mean..."
She smiled at him gently, nodding. "We're good," she confirmed. "Don't worry."
He gave her a subtle nod. "Good luck."
She went to the stairs in a hurry, trembling all the while, and swiftly climbed down to the second floor. She didn't know exactly what to say to him, but all she wanted to do was find him and tell him how she felt about everything that had occurred that night, particularly the kiss. She hoped Blaise was right and even if he didn't know what exactly was going on between them, the change he noticed in Draco was something she was searching for. She badly wanted to be the one that caused him to smile when she wasn't around.
She came to a stop right outside the bathroom and paused to collect herself. Although she wouldn't rush in like she did the last time, she also didn't want to spend any more time since she wasn't even certain he was there.
After taking two more steps, she heard someone yell and Myrtle abruptly jumped out and stopped in front of Hermione. She didn't seem too happy to see her.
"You again? What do you want, are you going to brew another potion?"
"No, Myrtle, wait!" Hermione called out after her as she was about the leave and the ghost stopped without giving her a glance. "Is it Draco there?"
"Why do you want to know?" She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Just please, answer me," she begged. "I want to talk to him!"
"Are you the reason he's crying?!" She flew and stopped right in front of her face.
Hermione's heart instantly dropped. She hurried into the toilet without waiting a second longer, only to stop when she saw how miserable he looked. Draco was sitting on the floor next to the sinks, his head hung low, his blond hair covering half of his face, and he did look like he had been crying. "Draco..." she bitterly whispered his name.
His head jerked up at the same time he raised his wand at her only to notice it was Hermione and slowly lowered it. He immediately got up on his feet and turned his back to her. "What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice sounding weary and defeated.
She took a tentative step forward but he noticed her movement in the mirror. "Don't come any closer."
His words stung her a little but she forced herself to hold her ground. "What happened?"
He grabbed the sides of the sink. "I'm not telling you shit!"
"Then I'm not leaving either!" She said angrily, stepping closer to him and stared at him through the mirror.
His knuckles turned white as he held onto the sink and closed his eyes. "Why are you doing this to me?" He asked, barely audible.
She took a few more steps, almost standing behind him now. "What am I doing to you?" She raised her hand to reach out to him but he saw it and quickly turned around, grabbing her arm and stopping her from moving any further.
"Stop being nice." He spoke in a low, almost menacing tone. That wouldn't intimidate her, there was nothing he could do to scare her away or force her to leave.
"Just leave me alone."
Her heart broke, and she felt herself break as well. He lowered his head while still holding her arm and she immediately brought her other hand to touch his cheek, causing him to flinch back slightly. Yet, he didn't pull away.
"No. I'm not leaving you," She said firmly. "But if you want me gone so badly, why won't you just leave me alone?" Hermione gave him a small smile to try to cheer him up, but it did nothing to help. He remained quiet for a few moments before shaking his head no, still not looking up at her. He didn't want her to go but he also couldn't bring himself to admit that he needed someone around.
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong," she said softly, looking down at him. She felt her stomach tightening as the silence went on, waiting anxiously for him to answer. He looked up, finally meeting her eyes. His gaze pierced through her.
"You wouldn't understand..."
Draco sighed and moved his hand off her arm, but her now free hand went straight to his, not letting him leave. His eyes fixated on their hands as he swallowed a lump that formed in his throat, his eyes glistening. "Hermione..."
Hearing her name fall from his lips made her entire body shiver and tears gathered in her own eyes. She brought her hands to his neck, and with one swift movement she pulled him closer to her and held him tightly. He didn't hug back at first but he eventually gave in and placed his chin on her shoulder. It didn't matter what happened between them, either he liked or hated her. Right now he needed someone and she would be there for him no matter what. He needed someone to listen and she was more than willing to give it to him, just like he did with her.
His body was stiff for a moment as he tried to process all of this happening. He finally relaxed and wrapped an arm around her waist as he leaned into her warmth, the scent of her hair filling his nose. It felt like the last time he held her like this was months ago, and not only that, he thought he had lost her forever. But now, here she was, hugging him with her own will. And not because of alcohol or the rush of adrenaline, just because she wanted to. She wanted to be here with him, hell, she was even worried.
He didn't understand why was she doing this but he knew he didn't want it to stop, so he didn't protest against it, he only enjoyed the feeling of being able to hold her like this. He didn't know when would be the next time he could even get close to her and with that thought, he tightened his grip on her, breathing in her sweet scent that managed to put him at ease somehow.
She let him lean against her, rubbing his back softly and running her fingers through his soft blond hair while trying hard not to cry herself. They stayed like that for a few minutes before she pulled away to look at his face while still cupping his cheeks.
"Please tell me, I can help you..."
Why was she doing this to him? She wouldn't even stand near him if she knew what was he going to do. He felt guilty for using her sympathy to stay close to her but he couldn't help it. While she was holding his face this close, it took everything in him to fight to urge to kiss her, even just for once. He couldn't believe he was allowed to be so close to her again, his head started spinning as he lost himself for a moment. "How can you? You don't know anything..."
She took him by surprise when she moved away from him, bringing him back to reality. "What if I do?? Just talk to me, okay?"
"There's nothing you can do!" He yelled, causing her to flinch back slightly. He didn't intend to shout at her and it hurt him inside but he knew this was the only way to keep her away from him. "You don't know shit about me!"
The girl bit her lip, holding back the tears that threatened to escape her. "I..." She started speaking quietly but couldn't continue.
"Just leave me alone!!" He shouted once again and dragged his feet back to the sink to wash his face. He could see how hurt she was through the mirror but he wasn't going to give in. She had to stay as far away as possible.
"Hermione!" A voice came behind her and she saw Harry holding his wand at Draco. "Are you okay?"
Her eyes grew wide as she walked to him. "Harry, what are you doing here?"
"I saw you two on the map and came here immediately, get behind me!"
He pushed her to the side and sent an offensive spell at Draco who was also now gripping his wand tightly as he crouched behind a stall that was hiding him from Harry. Her breath hitched in her throat as she watched everything unfold before her.
"I know you poisoned Katie Bell! I know you tried to poison Dumbledore, too! I know everything!" Harry kept yelling at him while continuing to send more spells.
"Harry stop!" Hermione yelled but he only pushed her to one of the stalls before he turned back to Draco.
Draco ran to the other side and sent a hex at Harry, but missing him completely and hitting the wall behind him.
"You don't scare me, Potter!" He said while throwing a few more spells his way until Harry blocked them all with ease before sending some of his own towards him.
Hermione felt sick to her stomach watching them fight as if they were going to kill each other right there. She caught a glimpse of Harry raising his wand and she quickly ran to him but she wasn't fast enough. There was that distinct crackling sound but when she turned around to see if Draco was hurt, she found him covering his mouth with his shaking hand instead. "Hermione..."
Harry grabbed her arm and she winced at the pain, a few drops of blood gathered at the tip of her finger before dripping. She rolled back her sleeve, it wasn't bad.
"Just a scratch, Harry," she said when she saw the angered look on his face. Harry quickly shielded her with his body and aimed his wand at Draco, who was still staring at her arm. When Harry shouted his next spell, he didn't flee or make an effort to defend himself; all she saw was him dropping to his knees.
"Sectumsempra!"